Chapter Text
Loud, echoing voices rang in his ears. Screams from commander Hange, a disappointed tone from the captain, and gasps all around suddenly became muffled next to Armin's loud heartbeat thumping through his chest.
He had just begun training to improve his ability to shift after getting the serum to inherit the colossal titan.
This time, he was actually able to transform, at the cost of his titan having no muscle on his lower half and not being able to stand for even a second.
Commander Hange held Armin's lifeless body stuck in the colossal’s nape while fumbling with his corpse to pull him out.
“Armin! Hear me, kid?! You did good, but uh,” They fumble with his arms trying to pull him away from the failed titans flesh. “This form isn’t exactly amazing! Now come out for fucks sake!” As Hange finishes their sentence, they could see Eren come running towards the two.
Before Hange can shoo him away, he quickly pulls out his sword and cuts the flesh that's keeping Armin's body strongly bound.
It was a quick swing, ripping the wet, bloody flesh away from Armin’s steaming corpse. However, his hands were brutally ripped off and most of his face was skinned.
“Armin, Are you okay? Get up! Say somethi-!” Before Eren can finish vocalizing his dramatic worries, Hange quickly, and aggressively, butts in to remind him he was ordered to stay away with his comrades, and to reassure him Armin will regenerate with proper rest, in which he responds by ignoring them and forcefully trying to shake Armin’s hot, sweaty, limp body awake.
Armin could hear everyone, and slightly see moving faces, but he was far too exhausted and tired to respond in any way. Moving even a toe felt like a thousand needles pricking his skin at once. Thankfully, a group of soldiers came to help transport him back inside to rest.
Whilst the group carried him towards a cart he could lay in, his thoughts spiraled. Instead of being cheery he was able to actually transform this time, he could only think of his mistakes and the disappointing thoughts the rest of the group probably also thinks.
“Why can’t I just be strong like everyone else? Why can’t I be strong like Eren? Why can’t I be strong like Erwin? Why did they even choose to save a pathetic, whiny kid like me?” And suddenly, only these self-loathing thoughts captured his mind.
As he closed his eyes, he only heard the sounds of horses trotting and cart wheels bumping against harsh rocky terrain. He continued to depressingly wonder just why? Why do I struggle? Why am I cherished now, and not Erwin? Why can’t I be forgotten, like Erwin will soon be, And why couldn’t he take my place, and guide these waiting soldiers to a bright future not filled with my tears?
After what feels like only minutes of thinking, he notices his body is almost completely regenerated, including his face. Then the cart wheels slow down to a stop, the stomping horse hooves come to a rest, and the metal bits on the saddles clang against the demounting soldiers' shoes. They’ve made it back inside the inner walls, and before anyone can carry Armin from the depressing shell he’s only tightened himself further into, Eren comes over.
Curiously hovering above his face, uncharacteristically, he only says a few simple, yet powerful, words with glossed over eyes.
“I’m so glad you’re okay, Armin.”
— — — —
“I’m so glad you’re okay, Armin!” The brunette boy blurted out the words with care, and a slight amount of reassurement.
It had been a little short of a day since Armin got revived with titan serum, and Eren decided to visit the room Armin had spent hours straight sleeping in.
They were having a small conversation, about the day, about their friends' shenanigans, and Eren was sitting next to Armin’s blanketed legs, which were resting on a slightly uncomfortable, squeaky bed obviously built with the intention for temporary guests to lay on.
The conversation had gone silent, with Eren fidgeting his working hands and Armin staring at his eyes, with care, with love.
Then, almost in an instant, Eren said those few words like he could read Armin's caring, loving, tender gaze, and then purposefully returned it like a warm hug.
“Eren… you’ve told me that like a hundred times since I woke up. I know.” Even though Armin knew he loved hearing those sound waves vibrate through his ribs, he, timidly, could only reply with dismissing words.
“Well, Yeah! Cause I want you to know I really mean it. I care about you…” He shyly turns his head away, nape facing Armin's eyes, with a slight red dusting scattered across his soft cheeks Armin could hardly make out.
"...I’ve always cared about you. I know this is rude to the others, even including horseface, but I care about you differently compared to them.. For some reason.” He replied, turning back to face Armin's eyes.
Facing Armin’s eyes, he expects a smile or a blush even, but Armin suddenly… giggles?
“Haha, I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, that was sweet, but are you trying to confess to me?” Armin says through small giggles Eren mentally notes as cute.
“W-What?! I mean… I-” Eren can hardly say a word without getting overly flustered at the accusation.
“Do you know how crazy it is to drop your romantic feelings to a friend who literally died a day ago?” He adds on, giggling even more, with blush scattered on his face, forming a bridge over his stubby nose that connects his bright pink cheeks.
Eren looks at him, flustered and angry. Eyebrows pointing down, face squished and wrinkled, he responds with a nasty tone. “H-Hey! Even if I did like you like that, which I never said I did! You don’t have to be so rude about it! Gosh!” That last bit made his voice sound shaky, like he was tearing up.
“Eren, do you like me that way? Please be honest.” Armin replied more seriously.
He took a quiet, fast inhale and blurted out. “Fine! I do… I just- I didn’t realize until a few months ago. I didn’t think anything was gonna happen!” Eren’s words came out fast and defensive, like he was being accused of killing 80% of the population. He continued, “I mean! I thought I would get over it! Like… we’ve been only friends our whole life, and I didn’t wanna rui-”
Armin cuts Eren’s drawn out explanation off by simply grabbing his hand, rubbing the indent between his first two knuckles with his thumb. Eren looks down at his hand, mouth still agape, and can’t help but slightly smirk with blush taking up his entire face.
“I’m going back to sleep.” Armin says quietly with a smile in his voice. He slowly rests his head down, still holding Eren's hand he closes his eyes and says, “Goodnight, Eren.”
— — — —
“Eren… please don’t tell me that.” With muscles feeling almost as heavy as carrying the colossal titan itself, Armin manages to turn over on his side, hands guiltily covering his face.
“Huh? What do you mean? Hold on, I’ll bring you to a room you can rest in, don’t worry.” Eren reassures him, thinking Armin meant he was exhausted, but he couldn’t understand him. Obviously, he didn’t.
Eren's reassuring reply only made him feel worse. Don’t worry? None of his worries were even slightly related to getting a bed to rest in. All he could think about is all his failures.
In his cupped hands resting over his eye sockets, he could feel his eyes tear up and leak. He just hoped they wouldn’t notice, and see him being a weak, pathetic crybaby once again. He could feel Eren’s eyes looking at him as his cart got pushed through the tight city.
It was uncharacteristic, the way Eren was quietly looking at him. When Armin’s eyes would peak out, he’d always see Eren’s curious eyes quickly move back in front of him, like he felt guilty for looking at something so very grotesque.
At some point they arrived at the same building Armin went to rest at after his near-death experience.
Armin has recovered enough to be helped into the building without a cart, so he puts a weak arm around Eren’s nape, hand draping over his shoulderblade as they walk together into the same room that they had that conversation in.
The two never really talked about it after that. It was hard to make time for another type of relationship considering Armin's titan training and the fact they were hunted by mindless human-eating monsters everyday.
They both go through so many events that would be considered traumatic for any ordinary human without a second thought.
Could they really handle a romantic relationship right now? Could Eren ever handle Armin being so weak everyday? Not just physically, but mentally weak too. Always crying about something new.
Eren held the bedroom door open for Armin as he weakly walked towards the bed to finally sit down. He looked towards Eren’s face, and noticed him slowly shutting the door.
“Oh, you’re not staying?” He said, not fully meaning to sound like a clingy lover.
Eren’s shoulders jumped like he wasn’t expecting Armin to say anything. “Well, I was expecting you to go back to sleep since you’re probably tired.. Do you want me to?” Eren replied, sounding a bit more-than-willing to stay for just a little while.
Armin made a patting gesture to the bed space next to him, telling Eren to sit. Eren closed the door and walked over to sit right next to him, their thighs touching each other’s uncomfortable soldier outfits.
“Armin, are you okay?” When Eren suddenly said those few words, it felt like Armin’s throat just got stomped on and compressed. His eyes uncontrollably started leaking small droplets, just by that simple question.
He continued on, “Well, I just noticed you’ve been acting differently. Especially after titan training. Is it too much on your body?” After Eren finished his sentence, he moved his gaze to Armin’s blue eyes, which were leaking slow, small tears as Armin nervously wiped them away.
“Uh, Armin?! Are you- Did I say something?” He said in a panic.
“It’s not your fault Eren, I’m sorry- I just-” Armin sniffled as he angrily wiped his tears. “I can’t stop thinking about how weak I am compared to everyone. Compared to you. Compared to Erwin.” He cupped his hands over his face, afraid of not only Eren’s response, but also his own words.
Eren asks, “What? This is about Erwin’s death… And your titan training?” Armin confirmed with a nod. “Please, Armin.. You’re far from weak. Just because you’re struggling with shifting doesn’t mean you’re weak. I did the same y’know, always pissing off Captain Levi. After all, you helped us slay the colossal, don’t be so down on yourself.”
The thought makes Eren pause. “...And about Erwin. I really get it if you feel guilty for his death. Though, Armin, you don’t have to prove that you deserve to be alive. Captain Levi chose you on his own, and you know he’ll get mad if you dare to say he was wrong!” He pauses, “Trust me, everyone misses Erwin, but we also care about you.”
Armin wipes his slowing tears away from his face so he can look at Eren’s face clearly. He reaches his hand over Eren’s, holding it gently.
Eren flusters and mutters, “And I, I don’t just care about you. I… love you, Armin. We never brought up that day again, when I told you my true feelings.”
“So… if we were to get into a relationship, what would happen?” Armin says with a stuffy, red nose. “Do you.. Want to kiss me?” Armin says boldly.
Eren’s eyes widen in shock at the question as he turns his head towards Armin, leaning his body closer. “Can I?” He says, and Armin replies with a quick nod.
Awkwardly, Eren reached his other hand over to Armin’s cheek, wet with tears. He gently cups it, pulling them both in closer as he tightens his grip on Armin’s hand. They both shyly closed their eyes, pushing their dry lips together with hardly any force, kissing in a way anybody could clearly tell that it was both their first times.
They both quickly pulled away, keeping their bodies close together, both flustered and staring into the others eyes. Armin took his free hand and gently hugged Eren, resting his head on his shoulder. Eren hugged him back, pulling his hand off Armin’s face.
“So, how do you feel..?” Eren asked, flustered and happy.
Armin thought, then replied, “I feel exhausted and tired.” He giggled lazily, the same giggle Eren saw as cute.
Eren pulled away, unlocking their fingers, and put both hands on Armin’s shoulders. “You should sleep, I'll let you get the rest you deserve.” He smiled, and Armin smiled back.
Armin agreed, and Eren left after saying “Goodnight, I love you.” muttering the last three words in embarrassment whilst blushing.
Armin got ready to sleep, changing into more comfortable clothes and laying his head down. Replaying the moment that just went down in his head, he closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.