Chapter Text
Koutarou had always considered himself to be a lucky one. He had always been surrounded by great friends, grew up in a loving family, somehow managed to finish high school without much trouble, and most important of all, he was a looker. He considered all of this as products of luck, because he had never needed to do anything to get all of it. Nice things just came to him naturally.
Guess that luck had to run out eventually, right?
“Can’t you just skip work, Akaashi. Pretty please?” Koutarou pulled on his hair out of frustration. He had been enjoying his day off, leisurely sipping on some frappuccino in his favorite coffee shop, until Akaashi called him to bring the bad news.
“No matter how many times you ask, my answer won’t change, Bokuto-san. They need me here in Hokkaido.” An employer at the northern branch of Akaashi’s company had suddenly fallen ill in the middle of an important project. Unfortunately for Koutarou, the only one who could lead the team and save the project all within the deadline was Akaashi.
“Come on, it can’t be that bad, right? What’s that guy have, anyway? The flu?” Koutarou tapped his foot against the table leg. If this was really happening, if Akaashi was really cancelling on him, then he was in big trouble.
“Acute kidney failure,” Akaashi said in a serious tone.
“Oh, right.” Koutarou buried his face in his hand. The problem was that he needed a ride to Hamada, which was ten hours away from Tokyo. His sister had impulsively decided to move there to live with her boyfriend, and now they were getting married. Since Akaashi was invited too, they decided to take his car and make a fun road trip out of it. Akaashi had been excited about the trip too, and he realized that he was probably just as bummed as Koutarou was.
“Well, I’ll figure something out, I guess?” he reassured. As Akaashi mumbled another apology, Koutarou let his head drop onto the table, nearly knocking over his now empty frappuccino glass. He went through his other options. Going by plane was a big no no, just like the train was. Hitchhiking was an option. Maybe.
Just as he was about to tell Akaashi about his hitchhiking idea, the shop's door swung open, and a tall dark haired man came walking in.
Only, it wasn’t just any man. It was the man that often terrorized Koutarou in his nightmares, or kissed him in his fantasies, which were even worse. The guy that had been his best friend throughout high school. It was also the man who had broken his heart many years ago.
Koutarou sunk down into his chair and grabbed the laminated menu from the table. Quickly, he unfolded it in front of his face, and hid behind it. “Akaashi, you won’t believe this,” he whispered into the phone, desperately trying not to be heard. He peered over his menu and watched the man order a black coffee. Koutarou scrunched his nose at the choice of beverage.
“What’s wrong? You sound disturbed.”
“Kuroo’s here, that’s what’s wrong!” he hissed into the phone, a bit too loud. The girls at the table next to him gave him a nasty look, but Koutarou didn’t care. Kuroo hadn’t heard him, and that was all that mattered.
Kuroo was wearing a black shirt with a v-neck, which was unfairly tight around his chest. Kuroo still had the same awful hair as he’d always had, making Koutarou feel dangerously nostalgic. He watched as Kuroo exchanged a few words with the barista, and Koutarou couldn’t help but move his eyes down. Yep. Still had a cute butt.
Scared that Kuroo might feel him ogle, he quickly hid behind the menu again. “Akaashi,” he whined, “he’s still hot.”
“Bokuto-san,” Koutarou could hear the hesitance in Akaashi’s voice, and then he said, “Kuroo-san has a car.”
"He does?" Kuroo had a car, and he was casually chatting with a barista at 11AM on a Tuesday. Did Kuroo have a break from work too? That would be the luckiest coincidence for Koutarou ever. Except for the fact, that it was his ex-boyfriend who needed to drive said car.
“Wait,” he suddenly backtracked, “How do you know that?”
“We talk on Facebook sometimes,” Akaashi answered.
“You traitor!” he whisper-shouted into the phone.
Koutarou saw that Kuroo had finished his coffee and was getting ready to leave. He figured that he didn’t have the luxury to think this over and that it was now or never. “Okay, I gotta go.” He hung up his phone and placed his temporary disguise back in the menu holder.
Loudly, he pushed his chair back, and this seemed to catch Kuroo’s attention. A second earlier, Kuroo had been smiling, but now there was a grim look on his face.
“Hey, hey, don’t look so grossed out, it’s just me.” Koutarou walked up to him and held up his hands. He wondered why he even felt the need to tiptoe around Kuroo, since the other had been the one doing the heartbreaking. “It’s been years. What have you been up to, man?”
“I was trying to enjoy my week off, thank you very much.” Kuroo scrunched his nose as he gave Koutarou a once-over. Koutarou tried not to flinch at that judging look, but did so any way. He was aware that he shouldn’t to be too upset about Kuroo’s behavior, because he knew how he was with people who he wasn’t on good terms with.
“Wow, you’re still bitter, huh?” Koutarou joked as he clapped Kuroo on the shoulder, trying to lift the mood.
“And you’re still annoying,” Kuroo shot back at him. Well, that backfired. “Is there anything you want from me? Because I have things to do.”
“Listen, I’m sorry about that. But there is something.” Kuroo opened his mouth, but Koutarou continued before Kuroo could speak, “I need a ride.”
“A ride? To where, the station?” Kuroo asked, his brows furrowing.
Koutarou studied his face. He looked annoyed, but not as pissed off as he was probably pretending to be. Koutarou estimated that there was a small chance that this might actually work. A very small one. He gestured for Kuroo to come and sit down with him, and surprisingly he followed. Once Kuroo had set his bag on the floor and was safely seated, Koutarou dropped the bomb. “Hamada,” he said.
“Hamada,” Kuroo repeated.
“It’s only ten hours away.” It was then, as Kuroo brought his hand to his face to pinch the bridge of his nose, that Koutarou realized how ridiculous his question was. You don’t just ask someone to drive you to the other side of the country, especially not if you haven’t seen each other for five years. But Kuroo wasn’t just someone. He was his ex and his former best friend, and above all that, he was a good guy.
“Only. Only ten hours.” Kuroo sighed dramatically, but Koutarou didn’t care, he was used to it. “Can’t you catch a plane?”
“Come on, Kuroo, you know how scared I am of flying.” The thought alone made Koutarou’s skin crawl. Being high up in the sky, with no escape. If Koutarou started to feel bad, itchy, shaky, he needed to get out and he needed to do it quickly. That’s why a car was his only option.
“Train?” Kuroo suggested.
“Ah… I don’t do well with vehicles I can’t exit whenever I want.” Koutarou chewed on his thumb. He felt like an idiot for not being able to do things others were able to do so naturally. People had told him to just suck it up, get it over with, to just take the train, that it wasn’t that hard. But it was that hard for Koutarou. And all of it made him feel powerless.
“Then rent a car!” Kuroo raised his voice a bit, and then looked around if anyone noticed them.
“Shit, I don’t have a license, okay?” Koutarou snapped back. Even though Kuroo hadn’t given him a straight up no yet, the whole situation was starting to feel rather hopeless.
“Listen, Bokuto,” Kuroo started. Hearing Kuroo say his name again for the first time in years made Koutarou’s hair stand up, but he ignored the feeling. Kuroo folded his hands together and said, “If you think that I would willingly sit with you in an enclosed space for ten hours, you’re dead wrong.” Kuroo stood up and swung his bag over his shoulder. “Goodbye, Bo.”
“Kuroo, wait,” Kuroo halted in his step, and Koutarou played his trump card: Kuroo was a family man. “It’s Rin. She’s getting married. You know how devastated she’ll be if I’m not there. It’s in two days, so I’m really running out of time. Please, Kuroo, at least consider it.” Koutarou felt a pang of guilt for using Kuroo’s affection for his little sister as a way to sway the odds in his favor, but he didn’t have another choice.
Kuroo seemed to hesitate for a second, but then walked out of the shop without another word.
Koutarou banged his head on the table a couple of times, until he started to get dizzy. He messed up his only chance of a normal trip. The only option that was left was hitchhiking, and he didn’t feel that optimistic about it anymore. Who would pick up a tall and buff guy with a cool hairdo from the side of the road? Even if he did his best, would he even make it there in two days? Maybe he could just drink a few shots of vodka and then take the train, it might make it easier. But Koutarou could already feel the bile rise up to his mouth at the thought alone.
A bell chimed as the door to the coffee shop opened again, and Koutarou lifted his head just in time to see who it was.
Kuroo was halfway in the doorway, looking straight at Koutarou. “You’ll pay for gas, right?”
Koutarou's stomach fluttered with joy. He jumped up and yelled, “Kuroo! My man!”
Koutarou’s luck hadn’t run out after all.
Koutarou hadn’t really thought this through.
As he was packing his bag for the three day trip, the realization suddenly hit him. He was going on a road trip with Kuroo. With Kuroo.
He had been so occupied with finding a way to convince Kuroo, that he hadn’t thought about his own feelings.
Was he going to be okay? Sitting next to Kuroo, talking, eating meals together?
“I think we should stop seeing each other.”
Koutarou’s breath halted in his throat. “You want to break up? Why?”
“Come on, you know why. This isn’t working out. We barely even see each other anymore. And you can’t even give me a good reason for that.” Kuroo’s voice sounded hoarse.
The truth burned on Koutarou’s tongue, eager to escape, but he swallowed it. He swallowed all of it. The pain, the feeling of betrayal, the tears. He pushed it away and faced Kuroo. “You’re right. It was stupid of us to think we could continue this after high school.
Koutarou shook his head as if to shake the memory from his head. He wasn’t going to let the past get to him during this trip.
What was it that Akaashi had told him? That he should just treat Kuroo as an acquaintance and not get too close to him. But that wasn’t as easy for Koutarou. He had the tendency to treat everyone as a friend. He couldn’t help it. How the hell was he going to keep his distance from someone who had once already owned his heart?
Tetsurou sat in the trunk of his car while he waited for Bokuto to arrive. The car’s back door was up and did a nice job of keeping him in the shade. He swung his legs back and forth, which wasn’t because he was nervous, of course, just because it was hot outside.
Who was he even kidding?
He had been surprised to see Bokuto again. He knew that it had to happen someday, but he hadn’t expected to react the way he did. The moment he laid his eyes on Bokuto in the coffeeshop, a flurry of feelings had flushed over him. Confusion, shock, but most of all, warmth. Somehow, seeing that wide smile still triggered some affection in him, even though he was pretty sure he was over him. Wasn’t he?
Caught up in shock, he’d let himself slip and raked his eyes over Bokuto. He had matured a lot during the five years they didn’t see each other, and that surprised Tetsurou more than anything. Had Tetsurou changed that much too? Somewhere along the way, Bokuto had started to wear his hair down, but he still dyed the tips. His jaw had widened, and there had been stubble on his face. Tetsurou rubbed his own hairless chin and clicked his tongue.
Okay, so Bokuto was still attractive. Or better yet, even more than in high school. And he was as charismatic as ever, pulling Tetsurou in with every word he spoke.
Even though he didn’t think of himself as someone that was charmed that easily, he had foolishly agreed to take Bokuto all the way to Hamada. Sure, Bokuto had said that he was in a hurry, but Tetsurou hadn’t expected that they literally needed to leave the next day.
So here he was, sitting in a parking lot, waiting for his ex-boyfriend to arrive. Great.
A whistle snapped Tetsurou out of his thoughts. “Oh my, that’s gotta be the ugliest car I’ve ever seen.” Bokuto stepped into view, with a large backpack on his shoulder and sporting the world’s ugliest Hawaiian shirt.
That was enough to instantly ruin Tetsurou’s mood. “You’re right, let’s take your car. Oh wait, you don’t have one.” The white Toyota Sparky was his favorite possession. Okay, it did have its fair share of scratches, dents, and duct tape was keeping it all together, but all his friends fit inside and that’s what mattered in the end.
“Shut up, I just said it was ugly. I like ugly.” A grin spread across Bokuto’s face as he pointed at Tetsurou. “I dated you, remember?”
Tetsurou sharply inhaled through his nose. “Did you know that it’s only a hundred and eighty hour’s walk to Hamada?”
“Relax man, I’m just messing with you. I just didn’t think you were a minivan guy.” Bokuto looked hesitant, as if he was scared that he had really pissed Tetsurou off. Which was fair, since his ride depended on it. Tetsurou decided to remove the stick from his butt and let it go. Bokuto was probably just as nervous as he was.
He hopped out off the trunk and slid the door open to the middle seats for Bokuto to drop his bag.
Bokuto shoved his bag next to Tetsurou’s, and climbed into the passenger’s seat, looking ready to go. He groaned at the sight of Bokuto bouncing his legs. Was he going to survive this prolonged exposure to Bokuto’s unlimited energy? Probably not.
Tetsurou reluctantly took his seat on the driver’s side. He typed the address into the GPS, and got his driving glasses from the glovebox.
“You wear glasses?” Bokuto asked.
“Only when I’m driving.” Tetsurou pulled down his sun visor and fastened his seat belt.
Bokuto chuckled as he rolled down the window.
“What?” Tetsurou stared at the his amused face.
“It’s nothing. Just, the minivan, the glasses.” Bokuto turned to gesture wildly at Tetsurou. “You’re really turning into an old man.”
Tetsurou started the car and wheeled them out of the parking lot. “Well at least I grew up.” As he said it he flinched at his own words. He had no right to say something like that, because he didn’t know anything about what Bokuto had been up to over the last five years. Why did he always do this? Whenever he felt awkward in any situation, his first response was to say rude things. He wanted to apologize, but Bokuto beat him to it.
“I’m sorry man, didn’t mean to make fun of you.” Bokuto leaned his elbow through the open window, and smacked the car’s door from the outside.“So what do you do for a living that you can afford this luxurious ride?”
“I’m a sports biomechanist.”
Bokuto frowned deeply. “That’s… cool?”
Tetsurou laughed. Why did he laugh? They’d been in a car together for less than five minutes, and he was already relaxing. Why did that always happen with Bokuto? “Uhm,” he started, “Basically, I study the movements of the human body from a technical point of view, and by this I try to find ways to prevent sports injury.”
“Dude, that’s awesome!” Bokuto said as he leaned over his seat to grab a bag of chips from his bag. “Hey, do you still play?” he asked.
“Yeah, every week. Me and my friends rent out a small gym every Sunday and practice for a couple of hours. Sometimes we even play friendly matches.” Tetsurou’s team consisted of a few of his high school teammates, and some new friends he made along the way. Every Sunday morning he had to go to Kenma’s place and physically drag him out of bed, but it was worth it.
“Sounds great.” Bokuto shook the bag of chips in front of Tetsurou's face, but he kindly declined. Bokuto stared out the window as he said, “Akaashi sometimes tosses for me, but aside from that, I don’t play.
Tetsurou fixed his eyes on the road. He was well aware that Bokuto had dropped out after his first year of college and missed out on going pro, but Akaashi had never told him the details. “So what do you do?” he asked to switch the subject.
“I hop from job to job. Right now I work at a moving company, and I kinda like it. I’m an expert at lifting heavy stuff.” Bokuto flexed his right arm to demonstrate, and Tetsurou had to try his hardest to keep his eyes on the road.
“Don't forget to lift with your legs, and not with your back,” Tetsurou forced out quickly. Bokuto snorted at that. Tetsurou wanted to smack his head into the steering wheel. Of course Bokuto knew that, they probably had those lifting safety posters on every wall. Why did he always have to be so awkward?
Tetsurou cleared his throat. “So, your sister, huh?”
“Oh, don’t get me started." Bokuto held the bag of chips upside down to shake the last crumbs into his mouth. "First she meets this fisherman at some convention here in Tokyo, then six months later she moves to the other side of the country to live with him, and now she’s suddenly getting married? Hell, my mom even moved there. She booked a plane ticket at the first whiff of potential grandchildren.”
“I’m sorry, man. Must be one hell of a fisherman.” Tetsurou pushed his foot down on the gas as they drove onto the highway. “What kind of convention was it?”
Bokuto groaned. “Please don’t ask. You don’t wanna know.”
Tetsurou smiled at that. He liked Rin, Bokuto’s sister. She was a sight to see, almost as tall as Bokuto and twice as loud. She had been a rebellious teenager, and when she threw a tantrum, the whole neighborhood could hear it. But aside from that, she had a heart of gold. Her family meant the world to her, and she did everything to protect them. After Tetsurou had broken up with Bokuto, she had sent Tetsurou a cake. A cake with laxative sprinkles. Tetsurou had to find out the hard way.
Yeah, he really liked her.
Next to him, surprisingly, Bokuto was dozing off. His mouth was wide open, and his breathing was evening out.
Tetsurou turned on the radio, but kept it at a low volume, and continued to drive.
“Wake up. Time for some food.”
Koutarou woke up from a loud voice and a nudge to his body. He peeked through one eye as he shoved at the hand that was rudely poking his side. “One more minute–”
“But I’m naked,” said the voice.
“What?!” His eyes sprang wide open at that, and he sat up to see what was going on.
Kuroo sat next to him, fully clothed, choking on his words with laughter, “That old trick– it still works?”
“Ugh, not fair.” Koutarou rubbed his eyes, thanking the fact that his natural sleep face was already flushed by itself, so Kuroo couldn’t notice the spreading blush. Of course he’d fall for that. Kuroo was still attractive, weirdly enough even more than he was a few years ago, so he wouldn’t mind being able to check out the good stuff.
Oh God, Koutarou was in big trouble.
He looked around himself and noticed that they were parked next to what seemed to be a family restaurant.
Koutarou stretched and found that his chair had been pushed down, almost horizontally. As far as he knew, he was sitting up straight as he fell asleep. Had Kuroo done that? Why? His snoring only got worse when he lay down flat, so that couldn’t have been it, right?
He opened his mouth to ask Kuroo about it, but Kuroo was already exiting the car. “Hurry up, I’m starving.”
Koutarou patted down his new favorite shirt to straighten it, and followed after Kuroo.
Inside, the restaurant looked much cozier than it did from the outside. It had small booths, furnished in dark green fake leather. In the far end of the aisle Kuroo was leading them into, there was a small playing area for children, with crayons and plastic toys, currently unoccupied. Koutarou vaguely remembered a time when he was young and his parents brought him to a restaurant like this, along with his little sister. They had hoped that they could have a romantic evening while Koutarou and Rin entertained themselves. All they had gotten was five minutes of peace and quiet before Rin was banging another kid’s head in with a toy truck and Koutarou got a crayon stuck in his nose.
Koutarou slid into the booth and sat across from Kuroo. The waiter that took their orders looked very happy to see them, which probably had something to do with the fact that the restaurant was empty aside from them.
“Why did we stop in this small town? We could’ve just gone to a McDonald’s,” Koutarou said.
“Do they have seafood at McDonald’s?” Kuroo asked sarcastically.
“Well, actually–” Koutarou started.
“I know. But we need some good food in us for on the road. And you offered to pay, so I want some shrimp for lunch.”
Koutarou whispered, “Old man,” under his breath, but Kuroo didn’t seem to hear it.
Kuroo pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it on the table. “So, I should've showed you this sooner, but I think this is what we should do.” It was a list, with times, and names of locations. Kuroo pointed at them as he explained, “After this, I’ll drive for another two hours. Then, we’ll take a short break, load up on gass, drive for three more hours, eat dinner, and sleep. Tomorrow morning we’ll wake up early and drive the last two or three hours until we arrive in Hamada. Got it?”
“Wait, are we gonna sleep in the car?” Koutarou asked. Kuroo wasn’t exactly the type of person to skip over something that important in his explanation, but Koutarou was pretty sure that sleeping in your car at the side of the road was illegal.
Kuroo rolled his eyes. “Yeah? Unless you’re gonna pay for a hotel room.”
Koutarou put his hand on his pocket where all of his money for the trip was. He had taken everything he had out of his account, and had only left enough for next month’s rent, and still, it wasn’t much. Hopefully, Kuroo’s car didn’t need that much gas, or else Koutarou might get into trouble.
He clapped his hands together. “Sleeping in the car sounds great!”
Their food arrived and they dug in. Koutarou asked Kuroo about Kenma, and was happy to learn that he was doing great. The rest of the meal they talked about small stuff. Koutarou laughed at the way Kuroo was eating, and Kuroo threw balls of napkin paper at him. The food was surprisingly good, and Koutarou was genuinely having fun. He wasn’t aware that he had needed a vacation, but he knew now. The stress from his body unwound with every snort and laugh. He was having so much more fun than he expected, up until Kuroo got curious.
“So, why don’t you have a license?” Kuroo asked after he ordered a coffee.
Koutarou laughed nervously. “Well, after I drove into a lamppost during my ninth exam, I decided to call it quits.”
Kuroo raised his eyebrows at him. “Wow."
Koutarou wanted to hide under the table to get away from Kuroo's surprised face. His mind desperately flipped through ways to steer the conversation in a different direction, but before he could think of anything, Kuroo spoke again.
"There's special courses for people who have that much trouble with driving, you know?"
Koutarou drew lines in the condensation on his glass of orange soda. "I know, but–"
"And it's really nice to have a license. Maybe you should think about trying again in the future?" Kuroo smiled kindly, but that didn't slow down Koutarou's racing heartbeat.
He wiped his mouth and stood up. “Excuse me for a second.”
Quickly, he shuffled out of the booth and went to the restroom. He pushed the door open and found that the room was, luckily but unsurprisingly, empty.
Koutarou rested his hands on the sink and examined his face in the mirror. There was a sheen of sweat on his forehead and a few red blotches in his neck, but aside from that, he looked okay. Kuroo probably hadn’t noticed that he was freaking the fuck out.
Without knowing it, Kuroo had scratched the surface of a very sensitive subject: Koutarou’s fears.
He wanted to tell Kuroo everything. How he had struggled with his insecurities, and how he had overwon them. Tell him that despite all that, fear still gripped him when he sat down behind a steering wheel. That his heart beat so fast, and his hands became so sweaty, that he couldn’t even hold on to the steering wheel. How frustrating it had been to finally give up, to admit to himself that despite his lessons, his fear wasn’t going away. He wanted to tell Kuroo all of it, because he knew Kuroo would tell him that it was alright, that he had nothing to be ashamed of.
An acquaintance, Akaashi had said. Treat him like an acquaintance.
Koutarou washed his face and left the bathroom.
The tension between them ruled in the car.
While Bokuto was in the restaurant’s bathroom, Tetsurou had taken care of the bill. Bokuto’s job obviously didn’t pay as much as Tetsurou’s did, so letting him pay for the meal too didn’t sit right with Tetsurou. Especially not since he’d binged on expensive seafood.
However, he hadn’t expected Bokuto to react the way he did.
When Bokuto came back from the bathroom and Tetsurou had told him that he’d already paid, Bokuto had been offended. After raising his voice and telling Tetsurou that that wasn’t part of the deal, and that he shouldn’t do things like that, he had turned to ignoring him.
And that’s how it came to this. Already an hour of complete silence from Bokuto’s side of the car. Tetsurou didn’t understand why he’d made such a big deal out of it. Wasn’t it polite to pay for someone else? If only Bokuto would just tell him why he was offended, then Tetsurou could do something about it. All of his attempts at starting a conversation had been futile and it was driving him mad.
Just as Tetsurou was about to pull at his hair out of frustration, an opportunity arose; a familiar song started playing on the radio. “Hey, do you remember this one?”
“No,” Bokuto said.
Tetsurou didn’t give up. “Come on Bo, this is our jam.”
Bokuto scoffed. “It’s not. This song came out years before we even met.”
Tetsurou smirked. Firstly, because Bokuto had admitted that he did know the song, and secondly, because Bokuto was talking to him again. “Shut up and sing with me!”
“Which is it?” Bokuto asked, but Tetsurou tuned him out by turning the radio’s volume up.
“There must be something wrong with me,” Tetsurou started softly, ignoring the awkward feeling of singing by himself.
“There definitely is something wrong with you,” Bokuto mumbled as he stared out the car’s window.
Tetsurou nudged him in the shoulder. He had to keep his eyes on the road, but from his peripheral he could see Bokuto smiling as he tried to dodge Tetsurou’s hand.
Swallowing every ounce of shame he had left, Tetsurou dramatically brought his fist to his chest and loudly sang, “That is what love is.”
Bokuto finally broke and started laughing at Tetsurou’s antics. It didn’t take long for him to join in and sing the chorus together with him. Their singing was way too loud, and entirely off-key, but who cared? They were having fun.
“Okay, okay, shh. This is my part.” Bokuto’s face turned serious as he sang the lyrics, exaggerating his facial expressions to fit the words. Then he extended his hand to Tetsurou and sang, “My left hand is always searching for you.”
Tetsurou snorted. “That’s your right hand.”
Bokuto quickly pulled his hand back. “Shit!”
The song ended and Tetsurou turned the radio back down. His grip tightened a bit on the steering wheel before he said, “Hey, I’m sorry about before. I’m gonna let you pay for everything from now on.”
“Thanks,” Bokuto replied. Then he turned to Tetsurou with his eyes wide. “Wait, everything? What do you mean?”
“Well I was thinking about going for some sashimi tonight.” Tetsurou laughed at the face Bokuto was making. “Okay, but seriously. I shouldn’t have done that without talking to you first. It was presumptuous of me.”
“It’s okay.” Bokuto pointed at the space between them. “Look at us, communicating like actual adults. I like it.”
“Don’t let it get to your head. You’re wearing a Hawaiian shirt for God's sake.” Tetsurou snickered at the offended gasp that escaped Bokuto’s mouth.
They had an hour left before they arrived at their next stop, and this time around, Tetsurou didn’t mind being in the car with Bokuto.
Koutarou wiggled the earpiece of his sunglasses, making them bounce up and down on his nose. The outside scenery was getting less dull by the minute, changing from hills and trees, to small towns that lay in the distance. They were gonna stop at the next town to fill up on gas and supplies, and then head to a village where they were gonna stay for the night.
He stuck his arm out the window, letting the wind dry the sweat on his palm. The summer sun was burning. It was hot inside the car, since the old AC couldn’t handle blowing cold air for more than an hour at once. Despite this minor malfunction, Koutarou loved the car. It was roomy enough that Koutarou’s head didn’t touch the ceiling, and he didn’t have to fold his legs in weird angles, but above all that, it had personality.
Koutarou glanced to his right to check up on the car’s owner. Ever since they left, Kuroo hadn’t even complained about driving once, which came as a surprise. Even as Koutarou had been giving him the cold shoulder after the restaurant incident, he continued to drive as if it was his own sister who was getting married at the other end of the country. He could’ve easily gone home and left Koutarou at the side of the road, but he hadn’t done that.
Honestly, Koutarou thought that he kinda deserved that. He shouldn’t have overreacted like that. He had wanted to pay for the meal as compensation for Kuroo’s efforts, but Kuroo had beat him to it. Knowing Kuroo, the nice guy he was, he’d probably done it because he had his suspicions about Koutarou’s financial situation. If that was true, then Kuroo wasn’t wrong, but Koutarou didn’t like it when people made assumptions about him. If Kuroo had just asked him, he’d probably let him pay. Probably.
Koutarou almost laughed out loud. It was the same old thing again. Kuroo making assumptions about him and Koutarou not wanting to talk about it. Had they really changed since then?
“There it is,” said Kuroo next to him, lifting a finger from the steering wheel to point at the gas station that was coming into view.
“I hope the shop has air conditioning,” Koutarou said as he also stuck his head out the window. The breeze was heaven on his face.
“Don’t lose your head,” Kuroo called after him.
They rolled into the gas station, and it was even smaller than it looked from the distance. There were only three filling stations, and one of those air pump machines that always frightened Koutarou.
Koutarou got out of the car and pinched his nose closed. “I hate this smell,” he said nasally, as he leaned over the roof of the car to watch Kuroo get to work. Kuroo filled up the car, while staring at the register, trying to get to a round number. He cussed as it went a bit over five thousand yen. Annoyed, he shoved the valve back into the station.
Koutarou grinned at Kuroo’s annoyed face. “Is there a problem, honey?”
Kuroo cracked a smile at that and gestured with his head towards the shop. “Go pay, you tool.”
Koutarou tapped on the wad of cash in his pocket. “On it!”
He was one step away from entering the shop, when he noticed someone slouching against the wall outside around the corner, just out of sight from where Koutarou had been before.
It was a young man, probably around Koutarou’s age, and he was visibly shaking. Was he drunk? “Hey, are you okay?” Koutarou asked as he stepped closer into the shaded area.
The man tried to stand up straight, but failed. Koutarou raced to catch him, and was just in time. The young man fell against his chest with a soft sigh.
Again, he asked, “Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry,” the man mumbled into Koutarou’s chest, “I must be dizzy from the fumes.” It was then that the man looked up and locked eyes with Koutarou. Koutarou’s breath stopped.
His eyes were a dark shade of brown, pulling Koutarou in with their intense stare. He was definitely younger than Koutarou had guessed, there was still something boyish about the way his jaw was set. His hair was dark and messy, his bangs long enough that he had to look through the stray hairs. He batted his lashes at Koutarou and said, “Thank you, I feel better now.”
Koutarou then realized that his hands were still on the younger man’s shoulders. His slender, sunkissed, freckled shoulders…
Quickly, he let go off him. “That’s good. Maybe next time, wear a facemask when you’re at a gas station?”
“Thank you, I’ll try that.” He bowed then, and skipped away, looking way more energetic than he had before.
“Hey,” Koutarou called after him, “Can I maybe get your number? You can call me if you get dizzy again!”
The man turned around, smiled at Koutarou, and then stuck out his tongue before jogging away from the station.
Well, that was weird.
He shrugged and entered the shop. He grabbed some bottles of water, a bag of his favorite candy, and went to the register.
“Number two,” he said, “The one with the beautiful car.”
Despite them being the only customers at the gas station, the cashier still looked out the window and snickered. “That’ll be five thousand and thirty yen in total, please.”
Koutarou reached inside his pocket to get a few bills, but found nothing. His heart stopped. He patted himself down. Other pocket. Back pockets. The legs of his pants. His socks. Nothing. All of it was gone.
“That son of a–”
Tetsurou rolled his shoulders to unwind the tension in his back. And there was a lot of it, for a good reason.
After he’d sent Bokuto to pay for the gas, he went inside his car and fiddled around with his phone for a bit, which had been a big mistake. If he’d just kept his eye on Bokuto, all of it could’ve been prevented.
When Bokuto had come running out of the shop with panic written all over his face, Tetsurou guessed it to be over something simple. Maybe the shop didn’t sell Bokuto’s favorite brand of chips, or whatever. However, he hadn’t expected him to have been robbed in broad daylight.
The police came, and one of the cops told them that they hadn’t been the first victims. Muggings like this had been happening all over the prefecture at gas stations and convenience stores. All of them happened in a blind spot, out of the security camera’s reach.
That had calmed Tetsurou down a bit. Bokuto wasn’t the only one who had been tricked, so he couldn’t really blame it on him. But when the police officer asked Bokuto for a description of the culprit, and Bokuto described him as 'super hot', Tetsurou lost his cool.
He hadn’t said a word to Bokuto since then, afraid that if he talked, he’d say something he’d regret. Bokuto was taking it in stride, and was silently staring out the window.
Because of all the delay, they were behind schedule now. They ate some meat buns at the gas station while being questioned, so there was no need to stop for dinner anymore, but still they’d lost over an hour. It was getting late and Tetsurou had to strain his eyes to stay focused on the road.
When he drove into a village, he decided that it was time to find a place to park the car for the night. He’d rather sleep in a different village, than drive to where he’d planned to stay and risk falling asleep behind the wheel.
At the end of the village’s rather modest main road, he drove past a big and empty parking lot with a deserted building at the end of it. It had probably been a supermarket in another life, but looked more like the set of a horror movie now. Great.
“Let’s sleep here tonight,” he said as he pulled into the lot. The moon was almost full, giving them at least enough light to navigate if they had to relieve themselves in the bushes.
Tetsurou had expected Bokuto to make some remark about the creepiness of the place, but instead he asked in a soft voice, “Are you still mad?”
“No,” Tetsurou lied. “I just can’t believe you let yourself get so close to a total stranger.”
“Hey, I just have a lot of love to give, okay?” Bokuto defended himself, but there was a joking tone to his voice.
Tetsurou rolled his eyes as he parked the car close to the abandoned building. “Wait, your passport didn’t get stolen too, right?” he asked.
“No, I don’t keep it in my pocket. I’m not stupid.”
Tetsurou pulled on the handbrake, and gave him the look.
Bokuto unfastened his seatbelt and turned in his chair. “What, you do think I’m stupid? What the hell, man.” He was frowning deeply now.
“That’s not what I said,” Tetsurou hesitated before he spoke again, “It’s just that you could pay some more attention to your surroundings, that’s all.”
Bokuto folded his arms. “Oh, come on, I’m super observant.”
And then, despite knowing better, Tetsurou took it a step too far. “Then why were you so surprised when I broke up with you?”
Within a second, all the blood drained from Bokuto’s face, and Tetsurou knew that he had made a mistake. He had no right to bring up the past like that, and yet he couldn’t help himself.
Bokuto unfolded his arms and tapped the tips of his index fingers together. “So, you were–no, are offended that I was surprised? That I didn’t see it coming? Or did you just think I didn’t care?” He lifted his hands and waved in the space between them. “Maybe–maybe I just trusted us to work it out, but no.” Then finally, his eyes met Tetsurou’s. “You broke my heart, man”
Tetsurou had to swallow before he could speak. “Oh,” he said, softly.
Bokuto turned away from him and stared through the window into the empty lot.
Oh.
As far as Tetsurou knew, Bokuto hadn’t been the slightest bit affected by their breakup. Sure, he had been surprised, but then he acted like it wasn’t a big deal. His indifference back then was something that had been bothering Tetsurou for years.
It didn’t help that he heard rumors. People told him that Bokuto took up partying even more after they broke up, and how he was sleeping around. To Tetsurou, it almost seemed as if Bokuto had been freed from him, and could finally do whatever he wanted.
Not in a million years would he have guessed that he had broken his heart.
Tetsurou knew that he should tell Bokuto this, that they should clear up this misunderstanding once and for all. There were still things that he needed to say, things that he had regretted not telling him for years.
The words from earlier that day ran through his head. “Look at us, communicating like adults.” And yet, here Tetsurou was, not telling Bokuto anything.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” Tetsurou said.
Bokuto’s voice was strained. “Don’t worry about it. What’s in the past is in the past, right?”
“Right,” Tetsurou repeated. He looked at Bokuto, and how he was sitting, elbow on the window sill, chin resting on his hand and facing away from Tetsurou. His shoulders were stiff, pulled up higher than where they should be. Tetsurou hated seeing him like this.
He knew only one way for Bokuto to fully unwind. “Hey, want me to toss for you?” Bokuto turned to look at him, one of his eyebrows raised in question. “I have a ball somewhere in the back. I mean, there’s no net here or anything, but we have lots of free space where you could just slam the ball down.”
Bokuto was quiet for at least a full minute, and Tetsurou didn’t know if he was even considering it, but eventually he said, “Alright. Let’s see if you still got some moves.”
Tetsurou found the volleyball under a seat in the back of the car. He bounced it on the asphalt a few times. It was a bit worn out, but it still fulfilled its purpose.
Bokuto was stretching elaborately, as if they were gonna play in an actual match. Tetsurou smiled at his enthusiasm. With Bokuto it had always been all or nothing, none of that half-assedness. His passion was one of the first things Tetsurou fell for years ago.
Tetsurou pushed the thought back and tossed the ball up in the air, bouncing it off his hands a couple of times, keeping it high. “Ready when you are, Bo.”
“I was born ready!” Bokuto yelled, and Tetsurou wondered if someone was gonna call the cops on them, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. They’d had a shitty day, and he just wanted them to have some fun now.
He threw the ball into the air to give himself some time to get ready, and then he set the ball where he believed Bokuto would want it.
Bokuto ran, jumped, and for a second, everything seemed to move in slow motion for Tetsurou. He watched the way Bokuto’s back arched, and how his right hand was brought back to prepare for a spike. All the power in that body should leave no room for grace, and yet, Tetsurou found himself gaping at Bokuto’s moonlit silhouette.
Loudly, the ball was slammed against the ground, startling Tetsurou out of his trance.
“Did you see that?” Bokuto asked, and Tetsurou nodded, because yes, he had seen everything. “Again!”
Tetsurou willingly ran after the ball, because he wouldn’t say no to seeing Bokuto like that one more time.
He set the ball for Bokuto again, and again. Every time it smashed against the pavement with a loud bang, and every time Tetsurou ran after the ball as fast as he could, some of the bad vibes of the day dissipated until there was none left. They were just practicing like old times, as if they were still friends. It was carefree and fun.
Tetsurou didn’t know how many times he had tossed the ball when he called for a time out, but it must have been a lot; he was out of breath and his shirt stuck to his back.
Bokuto laughed. “You’re out of shape, old man.”
Tetsurou bent over and rested his hands on his knees. “And you still have the energy of an eight year old.”
Bokuto started doing jumping jacks, probably for no other reason than to demonstrate how unfit Tetsurou actually was. “Come on, toss to me again.”
Tetsurou looked up and raised his eyebrows at Bokuto since he had just proved his point. He picked up the ball from the ground and said, “If you want this ball, you’re gonna have to come get it first.”
“Oh?” Bokuto’s grin spread from ear to ear, always up for a challenge.
Tetsurou took off running as fast as he could, with the ball clutched closely to his chest. Even though Bokuto had infinite energy, Tetsurou had longer legs, giving him the advantage in a race.
“Come here!” Bokuto cried as he chased after him. He didn’t hold back one bit, slipping a few times when Tetsurou made a sharp turn, but he never stopped running, all the while he was laughing.
Bokuto’s boisterous laughter was contagious, and it wasn’t long before Tetsurou was howling too. There was a painful sting in his side, but he ignored it. This was the most fun he’d had in months.
The sound of their shoes scuffling on the pavement, and their cries of joy, filled the night. Tetsurou couldn’t stop looking over his shoulder as Bokuto hunted him down, the determination in his eyes making Tetsurou run even faster.
When Bokuto was like this, all lively and enthusiastic, everyone around him got pulled in with him. One couldn’t just ignore the force of nature that was Bokuto. It was what Tetsurou loved most about him.
Wait. Loved? Had loved, right?
The nose of Tetsurou’s shoe got stuck in a dent in the pavement, and he almost toppled over. This slowed him down, and Bokuto caught up with him. He trapped him from behind, reached through Tetsurou’s arms and grabbed on to the ball in his hands.
“Got you,” he said, and the hair around Tetsurou’s ear moved when Bokuto spoke. He was so close, his chest pressed against Tetsurou’s back, that the vibrations of his voice carried through Tetsurou’s body.
Tetsurou believed that it was almost dangerous to stay so close to Bokuto, so he threw his head back to headbutt Bokuto in his face. Gently.
The back of his head connected and Bokuto immediately stepped away from him, holding his nose. “Hey, what was that for?”
“Sorry, I’m a sore loser.” Tetsurou spinned the ball that Bokuto hadn’t managed to steal. “Not that I really lost.”
Bokuto stood there, still holding his nose, and Tetsurou was scared that he might have actually angered him, but then he burst out laughing. “Shit, Kuroo. You’re a piece of work.”
Tetsurou chuckled, feeling relieved. Bokuto was still laughing at him and it put Tetsurou at ease. He had managed to remove the awkwardness between them completely. “Hey,” he said, “we have an early morning tomorrow. Let’s call it a night.” Bokuto nodded.
With the absence of the sun, the air was cooling down quickly, and it was almost even chilly. Tetsurou shivered in his damp shirt as he grabbed some blankets from the back of his car. “I’ll take the seats in the back, you can have the ones in the middle.”
Bokuto caught the blanket Tetsurou threw at him and said, “I’m gonna end up on the floor, probably. I always do.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I vacuum my car every week.” Tetsurou stepped out of his shoes and climbed onto the seats, shutting the back door behind him.
Bokuto clumsily climbed up on the middle seats, looking way too big for them. After he slid the door shut behind him, he got tangled up in his blanket with his shoes still on. He tried to kick off his shoes, but the blanket went with them, causing him to hiss a few swear words.
Tetsurou couldn’t help the giggles that escaped him. “Don’t laugh at me!” Bokuto yelled, his voice filling up the small space inside the car.
“Sorry.” Tetsurou rolled onto his back, folding his knees so that his feet rested on the seats. He regretted not bringing a pillow, but it might do wonders for his hair if he slept without one for a night. “Hey, can you open the window a bit?” he asked. Bokuto sat up and rolled down the window closest to him. “Not that far,” Tetsurou stopped him, “We don’t want to invite all the mosquitoes in.”
“Dude, it’s gonna get super damp in here,” Bokuto leaned his head over the edge of his seat, and looked down at Tetsurou. He was smiling.
Tetsurou smiled back at him. “Yeah, I know. Just don’t fart, okay?”
“I can’t make any promises,” Bokuto said as he dropped back onto his makeshift bed.
Tetsurou rolled his eyes only to realize that Bokuto couldn’t see it.
Only that morning, when he had been waiting for Bokuto to arrive at the parking lot, he would have never imagined the day to turn out like this. Sure, he had expected them to get into an argument, and it had happened twice, but–
But.
It was outweighed by the fun they had. The singing, the volleyball, even just sitting next to each other in the car and enjoying each other’s presence. Tetsurou didn’t know what to think about all of it. He was probably just being sentimental, like he always was.
Next to him, Bokuto was stirring wildly in his seat, trying to get comfortable. Which was difficult on the seats of a twenty year old Toyota Sparky, he had to admit.
He rolled onto his side, facing away from Bokuto. Like this, it was as if he could still feel Bokuto’s body heat at his back, sending hot flares through his veins.
This day had been multiple shades of fucked up.
Exhaustion fell over Tetsurou, and he felt his eyelids getting heavier. He was on the edge of sleep when he heard Bokuto whisper something.
“Tetsurou, don’t you miss us?”