Archive of Our Own

As a student, Taehyung never thought once that his professors may hear the rumors spread about them. It was never really anything serious, nothing more than young adult gossip and curiosity about their professors outside of work. Still, he would have been mortified if his professors knew about the lives they would create for them or that they were wasting time with their curiosity at all.

Now, as a professor himself, Taehyung realizes he thought wrong. He hears the rumors, all of them. Or at least, he’d hope so because he has heard dozens and dozens of theories about himself and he can’t imagine there would be that many more. Fascinating rumors that have him admiring one’s creativity to tame ones that have him wondering if he comes off too boring to have anything close to an exciting life outside of work. 

He has heard whispers about his sexuality, his political beliefs, if he is a dog or a cat person, how he can’t be one sign or one mbti but another. He once caught two students arguing about whether or not he had children when they didn’t realize he could hear them. He was careful not to react when one claimed he was ‘too hot to be a dad,’ but it became harder when the other argued that everything about him was ‘father’ vibes. 

The students he knows better, the ones who come to his office often or work alongside him for their research projects or in the club he hosts, are bolder. They push and pry, which is how Taehyung has come to know most of the rumors spread about him. He often avoids answering personal questions, but this has led to even more curiosity and even more wilder claims about his life. 

Especially, for some reason, about his love life. 

“There are no pictures in his office. None. He is probably married to a politician, or - or son of a high end criminal. Who keeps their life that private?”

“Maybe his wife is hot and he doesn’t want his students drooling over her while they’re studying.”

Taehyung clacks the marker a little harder against the whiteboard to show his students just how much sound travels in their classroom. To be fair, he often rolls in after them so they might not be expecting him to be here already, but he is. 

And they seem too into their theories to notice just yet.

“Could be. But that would be strange, no? Like how hot could she be?”

“Do you think that is why he has beef with that psych professor? I heard they went to the same university. Maybe Professor Kim stole his girl.”

“Talk about hot and that’s who you bring up? Fair, actually.”

Taehyung straightens his expression and clears his throat loudly before turning to face his students. Their lips snap shut, their bodies crunching down towards the bags in their laps. It tempts him to respond, many things tempt him to respond, but he never does. 

“Welcome, welcome. Just a reminder that you have two more weeks until your second drafts are due and four until finals. Two of my past students who have taken this exact class are volunteering at the tutor center if you are more comfortable there. My office hours are on the syllabus, but if you can’t find them crumbled in the depths of your bag, they can be found right off the elevator, third floor. Now, someone remind me where we left off last class?”

Hands raise, but not from the two that had been whispering about him when they entered. He points to one, whose eyes grow wider than their head as they turn to look at their friend as if needing confirmation that he has been called on. 

“Oh, well.” Poor thing. Taehyung crosses his arms and gives off what he thinks is a patient, waiting look. The friend he looks to desperately is no help, although Taehyung knows in fact they had both participated in their conversation last class. “Ants, right?”

“More or less.” Taehyung laughs as he turns back to the boards. “We were discussing group selection and left off on Wilson’s theories from his study on ants.”

There is the quiet rustling of students preparing to take notes as Taehyung scribbles down the topics they will touch on. The whispers start then too. As he always does, he pretends it is his students repeating what he says to further retain the material rather than assume they are too bored to pay attention. As much as he gets a kick out of students using their pass time to express their curiosity about his personal life, he really doesn’t care for it to make its way into his classroom once he has actually started his lecture. 

“A more accepted approach is called cultural group selection -”

“Professor Kim? Excuse me, Professor Kim?” Taehyung pauses, marker tight in hand as his name rings in his ears. He turns to find a hand raised, belonging to a girl with a sheepish look on her face as if she is aware of his dislike of being interrupted before doing just that. “I am also taking Evolutionary Psych, and Professor Jeon -”

The whispering stops. The two that had been talking about him at the start of class drop their jaws, hands coming up too late to cover their agape mouths but his eyes only linger on them for a moment before they lock tight onto the girl who interrupted.

“Professor Jeon also touched on Wilson, but he said that us humans can reproduce independently unlike the insects he studied. How then does his theories apply to us?” 

Taehyung eyes her carefully. She could seem so nervous because she, as many do, knows Taehyung doesn’t like to be interrupted. But Taehyung would put money down that her nervous state could be due more to someone prompting her to interrupt instead. 

He points back to the board, cooling his tone because either way, it isn’t wrong of her to ask. “The mention of Wilson and his ants is meant to lay some of the groundwork down before delving into further theories, further adaptations. As science goes, it grows and evolves, and Wilson was one of the earliest theorists -”

“Yes, sir, but Professor Jeon -”

The two in the front shrink into their seats, hands still latched onto their mouths and eyes gleaming with surprise and amusement. Taehyung works his jaw, aiming for it to relax before the tension growing inside of him makes it tight. 

This isn’t a coincidence. The girl looks like she’d rather bolt from the classroom than have Taehyung answer her question. He was hoping if he never mentioned it, if he pretended it didn’t annoy him, this joke would grow old and be done with, but he was foolish to think that. 

“Should be in his office now if you’d rather listen to him talk on the topic,” Taehyung interrupts back. “If not, please let me finish.”

The whispering starts as soon as Taehyung turns. He plants the marker back to the board, breathing in slowly before he speaks. “As I was saying -”

The girl doesn’t interrupt again, but she did her damage. He loses the attention of some, who text rapidly on the phones hidden beneath their desks. The glances he receives from them suggest they are talking about his reaction or that it happened again. Just like every year, Taehyung is interrupted before he can even dive deep into group selection by someone that has been clearly prompted by Professor Jeon to do just that. 

Or maybe they are just talking about him and Professor Jeon in general. Because that is one rumor that is the loudest. Even his freshman students are taught it very early on. Professor Kim and Professor Jeon can’t stand each other, and it is recommended to not utter the other’s name around them. Especially not in class, or when Taehyung is in the middle of speaking. The first time a new student asked him, he thought it was just a one-off, but he has had at least one student in every freshman class since asking him about his rivalry with the hot psychology professor. 

He denies such a thing, of course. In a way that so far keeps students from pressing further and pulling out the receipts. Like this, which happens every goddamn time Taehyung brings up E.O. Wilson’s study of ants. As if Professor Jeon has found his class roster and picked out a student to convince to interrupt him. He wants to know how Professor Jeon’s able to do so, but he refuses to ask and give the man any idea that it irritates him.  

This time the girl stopped quite quickly, but there have been times where the student was so nonstop about interrupting him with Professor Jeon’s name and questions that were clearly only asked to be an ass that Taehyung nearly lost his lid and kicked the student out of his class. Taehyung didn’t take it out on the student once he caught on, but rather Professor Jeon himself.

That is part of how the rumor spread. He doesn’t like to think of that time, how he stormed into Jeon’s classroom filled with students to tell him off about something as silly as being interrupted. But the fucker knows just how badly it gets on his nerves. 

“I heard. The ants again, huh?”

At first, Taehyung doesn’t look up from his desk to where the voice comes from his office doorway. He taps his pencil against the edge of his notebook, debating whether or not he wants to entertain company or bury himself into his laptop and pretend to be too busy to do so.

Said company, Professor Park Jimin, doesn’t give him a choice. He slips into the room and takes the seat in front of him, a teasing look on his face. Taehyung normally doesn’t mind that he kicks his boots up or that he interrupted him pretending to do something, but today, the drag of his heels over the desk irritates his irritation, which he’s trying hard to release, and he doesn’t want to accidentally take it out on Jimin. 

“I don’t know why you let him get to you.” Jimin watches Taehyung in turn, as Taehyung glares with another drag of his heel, and slowly pulls his feet from the desk. “He does this every semester.”

Taehyung tuts his tongue. “It’s because he does it every semester. It could have been amusing once or twice, but it has become juvenile.”

Jimin huffs, eyes rolling. “Says the man who convinced a group of students to start singing ‘Likey’ every time Jeon said the word ‘sex’ in his lecture on sexual selection theory.”

That was hilarious. Taehyung wishes he could have been there, but he got to see an irate Professor Jeon after class and that was enough. “I was under the impression he was a Once.”

“You know, you never explained how this tormenting of each other started,” Jimin says before Taehyung can point out that Jimin also thought the prank was quite funny. “I don’t understand it, really.”

“It is easy,” Taehyung says as he closes his laptop and shoves it into his bag. “One would assume we could have fabulous discussions about our similar fields, yet I swear Jungkook argues with the tiniest of points just for the sake of arguing and it drives me mad. Stupid arguments too, that get me so tongue twisted because of how absurd his points can be that I can no longer make sense of my own point. He loves to irritate me and I can’t let it go unpunished.”

Jimin just stares at him, mouth opened and eyes dazzling. Taehyung doesn’t mean to rant, but Jimin caught him right in the middle of brewing over how infuriating Professor Jeon can be and he can’t help it.. 

“Speaking of the ass,” Taehyung sighs as he glances at the watch around his wrist. The psychology department is in the same building as the sociology one. It won’t take Jungkook long to get to his floor, to his office. 

Which he does not long after, bargaining in without knocking. The door flings open, revealing him, eyes already narrowed and teeth bared. He doesn’t seem to notice Jimin, who jumps to the edge of his seat due to Jungkook’s abrupt entrance.

“You ass,” Jungkook grits out, arms crossed over his chest. He must have been deep in work before he was interrupted if the rolled sleeves are any indication. Jungkook only rolls them when he is researching and alone as his arms are covered in ink and it leads to distraction in classes, although covering up doesn’t make him any less distracting to look at. 

The hair around his ears is also sticking up. Another sign that he was deep in his work. So much so that he would probably miss his upcoming lecture if it weren’t for Taehyung interrupting him. 

“Eighteen pages! Gone!” Jungkook snaps as he takes a step closer. “I thought I was hallucinating, losing my mind, when my work disappeared and there - there was a - a fucking!” 

Taehyung presses his lips tightly together as Jimin shrinks out of the way, looking between them with a bewildered expression as Jungkook gets closer to his desk. 

“A fucking drawing of Freud slipping on a banana peel!”

It takes a lot of willpower for Taehyung to keep his face straight as the spit slips from Jungkook’s lips. Jimin makes a strangled noise that somewhat sounds like a laugh, making it even harder for Taehyung to maintain his composure.

“Well, Professor, I know how much of a fan you are of the man,” Taehyung says cooly as he leans back in his chair. “Thought he could help aid you in your research.”

Jungkook also makes a strangled noise, this one aggravated as he twists on his feet just to turn back and point a finger at Taehyung. “I am not a fan. I quoted him one time.”

“In agreement.”

“Yes, Taehyung. I agreed with one sentence the man said about religion. I don’t wish to marry the man.”

He must have really thrown Jungkook off for him to have such a reaction, which isn’t something he often succeeds at. Usually, Jungkook is quite good at keeping himself composed while plotting how to get Taehyung back. Because of this, he usually seems very amused or even excited when Taehyung pranks him. “Well, hopefully not. He’s dead, so…”

Jungkook’s laugh is loud with sarcasm. “If you’re going to hijack my research, at least do so with a picture of someone whose research is more relevant to mine.”

“Calm down,” Taehyung calls as Jungkook turns around again. “Just hit the ‘undo’ button and everything will come back. Don’t you have a lecture to get to?”

The anger hesitates as Jungkook falls still, staring at him as if he isn’t processing Taehyung’s words before his gaze rips towards the clock hanging on the wall. The realization and slight panic appears on his face, but he quickly masks it with his look of annoyance before he walks out without a word. 

Taehyung eyes the opening, waiting. It’s only a moment before Jungkook appears again like he knew he would, his hand out and middle finger up before he grabs the door and slams it hard behind him.

Once Taehyung is sure that Jungkook is done and isn’t going to appear again because he didn’t think he slammed the door effectively enough, he pulls out his laptop again to show the document he had pulled up before Jimin arrived.

The image of Freud slipping on the banana peel is still there. 

Jimin squeaks out in laughter. “How did you even get into his account?”

Taehyung shrugs. “His password was easy to guess.”

It takes a few minutes before the image disappears and Jungkook’s writings return to the document. Taehyung looks at it in amusement, which only grows when the title of the document changes the research title to ‘fuck you Kim.’

“You know, if both of you weren’t married,” Jimin starts as he sinks back in the chair, “I’d think you two were banging.”

Taehyung laughs quietly. “Excuse me?”

Jimin waves his fingers as if Jungkook were still there and he was indicating the both of them. “I’ve heard that rumor. You guys argue and fight and then have hot, hard sex to get your frustrations out. It isn’t anger, but sexual tension, you see.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and waves at Jimin in dismissal. “Did you hear that rumor or make it up yourself?”

The look on Jimin’s face could be guilty or just playful. Taehyung can’t tell. “I would never spread such a thing.”

“Don’t you also have class soon? Go on then. Stop listening to the students.”

The sigh Jimin lets out is dramatic. “I can’t help it. You don’t share anything. I can’t help my curiosity.”

He doesn’t leave, but rather grabs Taehyung’s finger to indicate the ring on it. 

“I consider us friends now, but I rarely hear you speak about your husband,” Jimin says. “Such secrecy, it is easy to believe the stories of you being in hiding because you murdered someone during your time in some criminal enterprise in America.”

That one he hasn’t heard yet. “Yes, yes,” Taehyung agrees seriously. “Left my life of crime to teach young adults about how ants reproduce. According to Professor Jeon, at least, that’s all I do.”

Jimin sighs in complaint as he releases Taehyung’s hand. “This is why I don’t understand why you and Jungkook don’t get along. He is also super secretive. We have been working together for what, a year now? And he just finally mentioned his spouse to me for the first time.”

Taehyung raises a brow. “Did he?”

“Mm. And nothing specific. I even asked him his name and this guy says, ‘I don’t remember. I call him ‘love of my life’ so often I’ve forgotten.’”

What a loser. Taehyung glances at his laptop where the document is still up. Jungkook hasn’t kicked him out of it yet. He may not even be on it any longer, most likely having run back to his office to make sure he could get his work back before taking off for his lecture. 

Taehyung erases the ‘fuck you Kim’ and replaces it with, ‘you wish’ instead. 

*&*

“As you may have heard over the last few weeks, there is one thing that is absolutely crucial for you to do in order to pass your exams? Any ideas?”

Students stare up at him. Some nervous, some amused. Some looking at him like what he’s about to say is bullshit because it sure sounds it, but it is tradition. Tradition that students for years now have taken very seriously and Jungkook finds amusing enough to help aid in the continuation of that tradition.

“Anyone?” Jungkook asks as he claps his hands together. “Come on, if you can’t even answer that you have no hope for the exam.”

There is a muffle of laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. Finally one student lifts her hand, but she sounds much more uncertain than she normally does when answering questions in his class. “Rub the feet of the statue by the main door?”

Jungkook snaps a finger and wiggles it at her. “Correct, Miss Wu. Has anyone heard why this has become a tradition?”

They finished their lecture early so Jungkook should excuse them to leave early, but he is stalling. If he doesn’t have something to focus on, he’ll pace a hole into the floor or be caught moving so frantically that the kids will stir up some wild reason for his behavior that will spread like wildfire.

That is a phenomenon he can’t quite understand, but he finds it amusing. He can only guess because he is one of the young professors, that’s why they’re so interested in knowing more about him. Sometimes, Jungkook is purposefully allusive just to see what else they can come up with.

He has even given enough just to start a rumor himself, but it always gets so twisted and convoluted that Jungkook can never foresee how people are going to take even the tiniest bit of information he shares.

Like just the day before, a student asked him if it was true that his husband was a retired idol who isn’t allowed to come out publicly because Jungkook commented on being obsessed with a song from his university days. 

“It is fascinating really. An experiment, if you would believe it.” Jungkook holds up a finger. “One man claimed he did so on the first day of exams, every semester. That’s it. Still, to this day, no one has surpassed his record of perfect scores. Only a few years ago did he admit that it was all a lie. He’s just a fucking genius.” Jungkook laughs, clapping his hands. “Think about that and what psychological theory we’ve covered this semester that could explain why this tradition still exists. Might just show up on the exam. See you then.”

There is a grumble from the students as they eagerly leave. Jungkook waits for the last to be gone before he moves so no one will see how eagerly he too gathers his things to go.

“Professor Jeon.” Jungkook stills as he hears his name called and finds the head of his department standing in his doorway. Professor Kim Namjoon, wearing all smiles and typical frazzled looking clothes that match the way he lectures. “I was hoping I’d find you before you take off for the day.”

“I’ll be in the office for some time. I extended my hours because of exams,” Jungkook explains. “How can I help you?”

“End of semester Christmas party,” Namjoon sings playfully. “You’ve yet to RSVP, and I need to know if you will be bringing that delicious cake you brought last year. I’ve been getting questioned by others in the department.”

Oh. Jungkook doesn’t remember what he brought last year. “Of course I’ll be there, sir.”

“And your husband?”

“Christmas hater,” Jungkook replies. He clicks his tongue against his teeth disapprovingly. “Real Scrooge. He breaks out into this strange rash when around holiday cheer.”

The look Namjoon gives him is expected because this excuse is a little more absurd than Jungkook’s usual ones. But he’s started struggling to come up with reasonable excuses and decided to stop trying so hard. Somehow, the more absurd he is, the less people pry. 

“He’ll probably remember the cake though. He has quite the sweet tooth. I think that’s why he married me.” Jungkook goes on quickly, his face warming and hands moving awkwardly enough that hopefully Namjoon will notice and decide not to call out his excuse as bullshit. “Is that all, Professor?”

Namjoon’s eyebrows furrow and he hesitates like he may ask more, but he only nods and Jungkook doesn’t give him time to get another word before he takes off. 

Campus is on the smaller side compared to the university he went to. There’s a handful of academic buildings, some he has never stepped into. Like the one he enters now, which he used to joke he avoided because of his horrific allergy to mathematics and trauma he still has from failing statistics, the only class he didn’t do well in.

Maybe that is why Taehyung chose this particular building to host his last club meeting. Usually, he takes over the hall on the first floor of the social science building. Jungkook doesn’t think he either has ever come into the mathematics building. 

It is a much larger hall, but there are few people inside. A couple dozen, making Jungkook wonder even further if Taehyung chose this hall to hide from him.

He could try all he wants, but Jungkook’s plan is complete and will happen whether he is there or not. He just wants to see it. Taehyung got him good with deleting his research notes, so much so that Jungkook genuinely thought everything was gone until he saw Taehyung typing his name beneath that stupid Freud meme, and now he has this deep desire for revenge. 

“Professor Jeon,” Taehyung greets, the apprehension clear on his face. Is he surprised to see him? Jungkook grins. “Can I help you?”

“I have this hall booked next,” Jungkook lies as he takes a seat in the back, further from the students. “Do you mind if I wait in here until then? Very curious about those gourd bees.”

“Squash,” Taehyung starts, the annoyance loud in his tone before he breathes out. His cheek bulges with the stab of his tongue as he stares at Jungkook as if assessing him before seemingly deciding to ignore him completely when he turns around. 

There is whispering. Students peek at Jungkook curiously. Jungkook holds up a finger to his mouth to shush them because Taehyung hates being interrupted. He may not be giving an actual lecture right now, but it will still aggravate him nonetheless because Jungkook’s pretty sure that being interrupted isn’t the problem, it happens in classes, but rather, being interrupted because of him.

“I will be having Juyeon email out next semester’s schedule, but before we wrap up for the last time this semester, I wanted to go over some stats and moments we’ve had! I’ll have this emailed out as well for further look if need be but as you can see here, I have a breakdown of how the money we raised has been used.”

Taehyung doesn’t look at the screen he projects onto, but rather waves his hand at it while he speaks. He pauses when there’s an eruption of quiet, muffled laughter, but he still doesn’t look at the screen.

Instead, he looks at Jungkook with accusing eyes. Jungkook tilts his chin towards the screen, but it takes Taehyung a moment of bracing himself before he turns his gaze.

Where there was once an inserted text image is now an old image of Taehyung. A silly one where he has his fingers pulling at his eyes and mouth and tongue sticking out. Nothing salacious, but the students giggle as if it were.

Taehyung gives Jungkook another deadpan look as he clicks his remote and moves to the next slide. Already knowing, as he must have the moment Jungkook stepped into the hall he booked for his last club meeting.  

This one is a bit of an infamous picture. It had been discovered when Taehyung first became a professor and had forgotten about an old account that he later deleted. He’s older here, wearing a lady bug costume. Jungkook had managed to find another one that had never been seen, with someone else beside him in a bumble bee costume with their face blurred and scribbled out. 

Hearts have been added around the bee. Fitting, for a club dedicated to saving them. 

Taehyung’s lips press together. Jungkook isn’t close enough to see if he is at all amused or just really annoyed when he clicks to the next slide. And then the next without ever looking away from him. 

When he gets to the end, Jungkook nudges his chin towards the powerpoint again for Taehyung to look at it. Taehyung, as stubborn as he is, must be curious as the whispering and giggling has picked up. 

Jungkook makes a silent bet with himself whether Taehyung’s stubbornness or curiosity will win out as he takes in the picture of Taehyung now on screen. It’s an official picture from the university, taken at a charity event their department had hosted. Taehyung is holding a sign that once directed people towards their seats, but now has a gif of a tiny cartoon Taehyung in a bee costume, dancing its little bee-hind off. 

It’s funny. Taehyung knows it is, but there’s that stubbornness again. His lips purse out as if he’s forcing his amusement not to show or sound in his tone before he speaks. “Well, I will be sending this once returned to its true form. It seems the child I live with has been practicing their editing skills.”

More whispering. The students are going to run with that one. Last he heard, Taehyung was too hot to be a dad. Which doesn’t quite make sense to Jungkook as many of his students have listened to them both ramble on about how one chooses a mate, which can include attraction, but amusing nonetheless. 

Jungkook frowns though, because he takes pride in his pranks and Taehyung has just stolen the credit from him and given it to some nonexistent child instead. 

“Thank you for your hard work, guys. Good luck on your exams and for those returning home, safe travels.”

Jungkook remains in his seat as the students start to leave. When they do, Taehyung pretends he isn’t there as he stuffs his briefcase with notes and that damn laptop Jungkook keeps meaning to steal so he can delete his password. 

“You know they’re called squash bees,” Taehyung finally says, just like he always does when Jungkook purposefully calls them something else. Jungkook only looks at him and shrugs a shoulder, which he also always does when Taehyung reminds him what the bees’ actual name is. Because he always will, even if not right away. As if the need to correct him incessantly nags at Taehyung until he does so. “Do you really have the hall booked next? Seems a little close to math, no?”

He says math as if it were something spooky. Jungkook lights up with even more amusement. 

“No. I’m actually headed to the office,” Jungkook says as he kicks his feet out to stand. “I just thought I’d stop by to see those rosy cheeks. Red looks good on you, Professor Ladybug.”

Taehyung purses his lips, a hint of amusement on his face that he’ll refuse to show. Or try to. “It is good for my students to know that I have loved bees ever since I was young. The hearts were a nice touch.”

Jungkook leans towards him but clasps his hands behind his back to resist the urge to fix his tie, which is pulled to the side and uneven. “Are you going to the soc department Christmas dinner?” 

Taehyung glances at his watch. “Not sure if I have a choice. Jimin’s pretty insistent I attend this year. I said I might, but I don’t think he cares if I go. He’s just insistent on meeting my husband, but I already told him he can’t go. You know, too busy being in prison. I’m not sure they’d allow him leave just to attend a Christmas party.”

Jungkook lifts a brow. “Oh, is that so?”

Taehyung shrugs, but doesn’t meet his gaze as he bounds up the steps towards the door. “That’s what the latest rumors are. If you’d excuse me, I have to go back into hiding before the cartel I ran from finds me. You should go too, before someone comes around asking you how to calculate the standard deviation.”

Jungkook gives Taehyung’s back the middle finger, but he can’t help the smile that takes over his face and he may not be able to see Taehyung’s, but he knows Taehyung’s finally stopped holding back his amusement and let his smile shine.  

Extending his office hours is a little pointless as not many students often show up, but Jungkook doesn’t want to take the chance of missing someone by closing early. He knows many prefer the student tutor center, but being in his office still gives him time and quiet to be productive. 

Taehyung just keeps messing with his document. He created a second one that Taehyung must have seen, unless he has just kept this one up on his computer and types on it whenever another viewer appears in the document. It’s distracting and ruining Jungkook’s goal of being productive, but he doesn’t click out of it and go to the new copy either. 

“Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook.” 

Jungkook glances away from the fast pace rant Taehyung is starting about evolutionary psychology and the biases many researchers have had with western culture and finds Jimin standing in his doorway with drinks in hand.

“Yoongi hyung brought food,” Jimin announces as he steps inside and reveals his husband standing behind him. “You have turned down all of our invites to go out, so we are bringing the out to you.”

The moment the bag of greasy food hits Jungkook’s desk, his stomach grumbles. He might have missed lunch while corrupting Taehyung’s powerpoint before his club earlier today, and he had been so nervous about getting caught in his office that even afterwards, he couldn’t eat. “You are a blessing, Park Jimin.”

“Yeah?” Jimin says, tone challenging as he drops onto the chair across from him. “Tell me why you refuse to go out with us?”

Yoongi doesn’t say much, which may be Jungkook’s fault. Jimin has often said he is quiet until he gets to know someone more as a push and nag at Jungkook to come out with them on some kind of double date, but Jungkook’s yet to join them. 

“You know I’m knee-deep in this research paper,” Jungkook explains as he slowly pulls out the contents of food instead of scarfing it down like his stomach pleads with him to. “I don’t want to get behind when it comes time to grade exams. I still have a few dozen articles I need to read.”

Jimin peers his eyes at him. He doesn’t take Jungkook’s excuses as easily as the other professors do. “Professor Namjoon told me about your husband’s hatred for the holidays. Is that why you don’t want us to meet him? Really unpleasant?” 

Jungkook shakes his head, laughing. “No, no. I think you’d like him actually.” 

On his computer screen, he can see Taehyung is still typing. Jungkook focuses on it as he takes more food into his mouth than he should in hopes that Jimin will forget about the subject on hand and change it.

He doesn’t. Jungkook could compare his coworkers to his students when it comes to their curiosity about his personal life, but it makes more sense for them as he works beside them daily. And they don’t hesitate to ask usually.

Especially Park Jimin.

“Then bring him to the Christmas dinner.”

“You aren’t even in my department.”

“It is a blended party this year. All social sciences.” Jimin’s fingers catch in Yoongi’s hair, kneading gently in such a distracted kind of way that seems so habit and cute. “Heard the President is trying to cut back where she can, and where to start but faculty dinners? Not that I don’t think that’s best, but selfishly, I already struggle to pretend I like everything everyone brings, and with that many more people -”

The writing has stopped. Jungkook wipes at his mouth as he waits for more, but it doesn’t come. The document says Taehyung is still there, but that might only mean he still has the document pulled up on his computer. He could just be waiting for a response, which is tempting, but Jungkook isn’t going to. Not yet. 

“I convinced Taehyung to go,” Jimin says, the silence following a long, suggestive one that Jungkook doesn’t acknowledge. Taehyung stopped typing mid rant, right as it was starting to get juicy with the curse words. “He won’t give me a real reason why his husband can’t come.” 

Jungkook eyes the time at the corner of his screen. It’s too early for Taehyung to leave. He too keeps his office hours open later during exam season, and they’re more commonly used because the sadist has a hard-on for essay style exams. “Did you think my husband getting a rash because of holiday cheer was a real reason?” 

The thump under Jungkook’s desk suggests Jimin has kicked something. “Are you two banging? Is that why you won’t bring your spouses around? Risky not being tenure yet -”

The surprised gasp Jungkook lets out seems to make a quick u-turn, pulling his food down the wrong pipe until he chokes. His eyes water as he scrambles to grab a drink as the other two scramble up to help him. 

“Sorry,” Jimin wheezes as he pounds his back. “I just don’t want you to get fired, Jungkook-ah. I tried prying with Taehyung, but he’s a closed book. Didn’t take the bait or give me anything.”

Despite his own wheezing, Jungkook manages a laugh. “I’m not going to get fired.”

“Oh my god.” Jimin makes a noise like he too has taken a burger down his windpipe. “You two are banging.”

It is whispered, but still seems very loud. Jungkook is suddenly very aware that the door to his office is still open enough for someone in the hallway to hear them. “What are you going on about? You are a grown up, why are you calling it ‘banging?’”

Jimin narrows his eyes. “You know romantic relationships with coworkers aren’t permitted, Jungkook-ah. That’s why we had to wait until Yoongi’s semester here was over to let it slip that we were actually dating. And we had been dating before he even started here.”

Jungkook laughs quietly. “Jimin, I told you, everyone knew you two were dating.”

The door opens further, keeping Jimin from responding and once again insisting that it wasn’t obvious, but he does kick again and this time, his foot connects right with Jungkook’s shin. The apology is immediate on Jimin’s face as Jungkook gasps out in pain and nearly chokes on his hamburger again. 

“What is going on in here?” Taehyung asks as he enters the office, eyes on Jungkook as he closes the door behind him. Did he hear what Jimin was saying beforehand and closing the door is to make a point? 

“Meat down the throat,” Jungkook says. He points to his mouth, then the half eaten food in front of him. “Cheeseburger, I mean. The bite, um, down the windpipe.”

The corners of Taehyung’s mouth quirk up. He slips his fidgeting fingers into his pockets, weight shifting onto one foot so he looks calm, comfortable in Jungkook’s office. “Thought I heard a commotion.”

Jimin twists in his seat to look at Taehyung so Jungkook can’t see his face, but his tone gives him the impression that Jimin’s eyes are narrowed accusingly. “And what has you down this way?”

“The sign up for dishes is on Professor Namjoon’s door,” Taehyung explains. “I decided what I was going to bring.”

Jimin’s face slumps as if he were expecting for Taehyung to say he came here during office hours to bang who the students believe to be his mortal enemy. 

“Thought I’d stop by and close this door,” Taehyung adds. “Shouldn’t be discussing who you are or aren’t banging during office hours quite so loudly.”

Taehyung tilts his head slightly, as if he is about to say more, but he only taps two fingers to his temple in salute.

The door shuts pointedly. It is quiet for only a moment before Jimin turns on him, his voice lower but the warning in it clear. 

“You are married, Jeon Jungkook.”

Jungkook glares at him. “Happily so. And?”

The suspicion lingers in Jimin’s eyes, but he thankfully, actually lets it go. For now. 

*&*

be home late love you my beautiful cutie husband x

I am being kidnapped by Park Jimin x

Jimin eyes the phone over his shoulder and tuts his tongue disapprovingly. “I am not kidnapping you.” 

“Close enough,” Taehyung replies coolly. “You threatened to steal all of the articles I have collected for my research if I didn’t come out with you.”

There’s a shameless look on Jimin’s face as he shrugs. Not that Taehyung really minds; it’s been awhile since he’s gone out, and he could use it now that classes are over. His husband isn’t going to be home either, and it’ll appease Jimin for some time. He just has a feeling that it won’t be long until Jimin is pushing at him to go out again. 

And he can’t risk losing those articles. They aren’t actually for his research, but he did spend a lot of time not only getting them, but reading each carefully and making proper notations. 

“See,” Taehyung says as he flashes his phone where his husband responded to the first text with, ‘this is proof enough of your kidnapping.’

Jimin doesn’t grin like Taehyung was hoping. “Do you not tell your husband you love him?”

Taehyung laughs. “Of course I do. He doesn’t like to be called cute, even if that’s exactly what he is.”

He isn’t sure if Jimin looks unconvinced or not, but he isn’t going to try and prove himself. Even though, he could go on and on about just how cute his husband is, especially when his husband’s trying to prove he isn’t cute.

“Really?” Jimin presses. “Show me a picture. Yoongi doesn’t think he exists at all. He thinks you only wear a ring to prevent others from flirting with you. Handsome as you are, you know?”

Taehyung puffs his chest and gives Jimin a devilish, satisfied smile until Jimin’s laughing and clapping at his shoulder for him to stop. “Tell Yoongi I appreciate the compliment, but I am married. My husband and I agreed to keep work separate from home. We don’t mix the two. That’s why I don’t invite him to our dinners, nor talk about him at work. When I first started, students dug around for me and found my social medias, despite me hiding my name. I’d like to protect his privacy.”

At this, Jimin seems to relent. “Okay, okay. That makes sense.” He pauses, the silence weighted before he speaks again. “For a convict on the run.”

Taehyung grins but shakes his head in disapproval. “This week, I am married to a very rich, very old woman. It explains how well off I appear, despite only being a professor or whatever. I have gone from sugar father last year to sugar baby this year, apparently.”

That one was a bit amusing. He does well, but he isn’t rich by any means. He isn’t sure what makes it seem like he is. His husband does like to spoil him with pricier gifts, but Taehyung hides most of his jewelry beneath his clothes and only sometimes wears the more expensive clothing his husband has gifted him because he doesn’t want to accidentally ruin anything. 

“You know, I think you enjoy the theories,” Jimin tells him. He nudges Taehyung’s elbow when Taehyung gives him a grin. “Don’t you?”

“It’s natural to be curious. Who am I to discourage it?”

Jimin rolls his eyes, but he hooks their arms together to guide Taehyung to the restaurant he threatened him to go to after hearing his stomach rumble. “I’ve always been told off for how curious I am.”

“Well, I suppose there’s a thin line between being curious and being nosey.”

It’s playful and Taehyung laughs to show that it is, but his laugh quiets as soon as they push through the door and his eyes land on a familiar face.

Jeon Jungkook. Beside him is another professor that Taehyung has seen before, but he doesn’t know his name or what he teaches. There is only one empty chair at their table so Taehyung assumes they aren’t here by Jimin’s invitation, but Yoongi does stand by their table and waves them over. 

Jungkook’s eyes linger over him before his lips lift into a grin. He stands, holding out his chair and indicating for Taehyung to sit. 

“Funny meeting you here,” Jungkook says as Taehyung takes the chair. He looks as if he’s come right from work too, his dress shirt still on but the top unbuttoned, revealing the ink over his chest and the collection of necklaces he always wears beneath it. 

“Likewise,” Taehyung mutters. “Figured you’d be too busy plotting how to interrupt my exams this year to be able to go out.”

Jungkook gleams as he pushes a seat between Taehyung and the other professor. When he sits, his body twists and legs spread so his knee presses into Taehyung’s thigh. “And why would I do such a thing?”

Taehyung tilts his head as if considering. “You seemed pretty annoyed that I stole your entire class from you.”

That was a feat that should be celebrated. Taehyung really didn’t think he’d be able to get Jungkook’s entire class to ditch and come to his class instead because of how loved Jungkook is by all students, but they had. Whether because they’re so interested in this war between them or because it was their last class so they said fuck it, Taehyung isn’t sure, but it doesn’t matter. They showed up.

And Jungkook was livid. The time and effort it took to track down his students was worth watching him burst through the classroom door to demand that Taehyung stop filling their heads with nonsense. He had tried to make a joke about it, wanting to keep his cool in front of his students, but his annoyance still broke through his attempts. Another feat that Taehyung wants to celebrate, as Jungkook is usually much better than him at keeping it from their students that he’s been affected by their prank war. 

“Barely bothered me,” Jungkook lies as he crosses his arms and leans his chair back. “I’m all for you wanting more students interested in sociology, but I am concerned if you’re getting that desperate you have to convince them my field is bullshit.”

Taehyung mentally rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t. But pointing out how evolutionary psychology puts too much weight on genetic factors and so little on cultural and social structures is a valid criticism.”

As he talks, Jungkook opens and closes his mouth with each word mockingly until Taehyung stops. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I said, I’m not bothered. I just want to know what you did to convince them to betray me, their beloved Professor Jeon?”

Taehyung purses his lips together and mimics Jungkook’s blasé demeanor. “I offered them ten bonus points on your upcoming exam.”

It’s immediate. Jungkook’s mouth snaps shut. His chair comes forward and back onto four legs so quickly he almost falls into Taehyung. There’s a burning glare in his eyes, but they’re surrounded by fellow coworkers so he can’t say what’s probably being screamed in his head.

“You,” Jungkook says tightly, “have no right to do that.”

Taehyung shrugs. “But I did. I’ll send over the sign up sheet so you can credit the students that came.”

Jungkook’s jaw locks as he leans in his chair again, arms back over his chest. He stares off until his expression is slowly back to being unbothered. “Doesn’t matter. My students don’t need the extra credit because I’m a good, professional, teacher. It's your students that need the extra help, you hard ass.”

An inappropriate comment is on Taehyung’s tongue but he swallows it down. “That’s why you should cancel whatever plan you have for a prank during my exams.”

The ‘ha!’ Jungkook lets out is quite loud. “As if. I already have it planned and set in motion.”

Something tells Taehyung that isn’t true, but he doesn’t push it. As much as he wants to pry for his own sanity, Jungkook will enjoy thinking he’s worried about it too much. “How’s the research paper coming along?”

So far, Jungkook hasn’t stopped him from taking over his original document. Taehyung knows he has a second one that he created, but he always keeps the one that Taehyung shared with himself opened. With how quickly he responds, Taehyung assumes he checks it quite often.

He originally hacked into the document because he knew Jungkook’s too prideful to ask for help. He won’t ever let anyone read his work until it’s completed, and even then, he points out mistakes and improvements that can be made before anyone else can mention them. He’ll even take the entire document away with a rushed explanation about why there’s a mistake that hasn’t even been noticed yet. 

And he definitely will never ask Taehyung for help. They argue way too often in regards to their ideas and theories. Even when they are agreeing on a matter, it still turns into an argument. So he had to sneak into the document, but before he made it obvious he was there, he was only making small edits Jungkook would make and adding links and articles to his notes section that was already so long that Jungkook would have thought he had included Taehyung’s notes himself but forgotten. 

“Fine,” Jungkook says. “Someone keeps spewing shit about ant babies or whatever. Can be distracting. Those so called ‘criticisms’ about my literal field are interesting, of course. Not sure if the purpose is for me to quit my job and become an ant myself or what.”

Amusement fills Taehyung, but he turns away so Jungkook doesn’t see it and finds Jimin staring at them as if they’re the subjects of his own research paper. 

“I’ve seen you around campus. I apologize, I have forgotten your name,” Taehyung says to the other professor before Jimin can say something about his own theory about Jungkook and him. The professor jumps forward, hand out to shake Taehyung’s as he introduces himself. 

“Jung Hoseok. Not a professor. Events Coordinator. Well, I was just promoted.” He grabs his glass and tilts it towards Jungkook. “Jungkookie invited me out to celebrate.”

Jungkookie. How familiar. “Congratulations, then. I am Professor Kim -”

“Taehyung,” Hoseok fills in with a firm nod. He looks from side to side before leaning in and whispering, “Tell me, is it true that you’ve just recently escaped a cult?” 

The table shakes with how hard Jungkook chokes on his drink. His eyes water, but the amusement is loud in them. Taehyung pounds his back a little firmer than necessary to tell him it isn’t funny, but he’s gentle when he brings a napkin up to Jungkook’s mouth to wipe the spit collected there. 

“I apologize.” Hoseok laughs awkwardly. “One of the students on the activities board is a part of your club and wanted to plan an event to get your mind off of it.” 

Jimin, too, looks highly amused. “Don’t bother with the questions, Hoseok-ssi. Taehyung likes the rumors too much to correct them.”

“I think he just doesn’t want anyone to know the truth,” Jungkook supplies. He ignores the look Taehyung sends him, stepping on his foot under the table. “If they think he’s a cult escapee or a convict on the run or whatever the hell, they won’t realize he’s actually high up in an incredibly famous entertainment company and only teaching as a hobby. He wouldn’t be able to teach anyone anything while they beg to be introduced to his idols.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes as Jungkook says it so matter of factly. “I had to hide my autographed Kim Seokin picture because students would come for help and only want to talk about him.”

That bit is true. Hoseok’s mouth opens in surprise, but he’s quick to close it and hide it behind his drink. 

“Ironic,” Jungkook murmurs. “I’m surprised you even graduated as you spent so much of your time running that Kim Seokjin fan account.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes in warning. That was a secret. Were there times he put more time in on his blog than he should have? Yes, but he was still top of his class. “Suppose it’s better than writing smutty fanfiction in the margins of my notebook instead of paying attention in class.”

Embarrassment crawls over Jungkook’s face, but his eyes narrow. “It wasn’t always smutty.”

Taehyung grins, but he doesn’t point out that it was quite often smutty because while he enjoys embarrassing Jungkook in revenge for the times he’s gone out of his way to embarrass him, he doesn’t want to push it too far. 

“I wrote fanfiction,” Yoongi interrupts. “I still write fanfiction.”

It is quiet as Jimin turns to him with wide eyes and agape mouth. He flicks Yoongi’s forearm. “I didn’t know that.”

Yoongi frowns. “I told you.” He turns to Taehyung while Jimin still gapes at him. “How is it that you were blessed with a signed Kim Seokjin photo? Just curious, of course. It isn’t Kim Seokjin fanfiction I write, if you were curious.”

His expression is quite blank, but Taehyung still has a feeling he’s lying. “He sang at my wedding. My mother-in-law grew up with his mother.”

That expression changes, for just a moment. Yoongi’s eyes widen as Jimin turns that agape mouth on Taehyung instead. 

“Oh,” Yoongi drawls, turning his head and eyes peering at something in the distance. “Then yes, it’s definitely not Kim Seokjin fanfiction that I write. Anyway, should probably order our drinks now. Excuse me.”

It’s been some time since Taehyung’s had a night out like this, but he’s hyper aware of the proximity of this restaurant to the university and how many students come and go. Not that he’s out to get wasted and party it up, but it prevents him from relaxing as much as he’d like to. 

If all of those rumors were created just by Taehyung teaching, he can only imagine what would come from them seeing him out. He’s already had to squash a few this week that were his own fault, by implying he lived with a child while it was so blatantly obvious that it was Jungkook that hijacked his powerpoint. He still isn’t sure what was coming out of his mouth as he tried to get out of that one, but he’s pretty sure he’s confirmed the existence of a child that he doesn’t have. 

He hopes the student that said he’s too hot to be a dad isn’t too bummed. 

“Careful there. Can’t handle your liquor.”

Taehyung glares at Jungkook as he brings the glass he has been babying to his lips and downs the rest of it in defiance. His eyes fall on the spread of Jungkook’s grin, how it pulls into his cheeks and makes his dimples appear. Jungkook’s eyes linger too, following the glass as Taehyung places it down and holds up a hand for another. 

Jungkook catches his hand before the bartender can notice and traps it against the bartop. 

“I’m headed home soon,” Taehyung explains as he pulls his hand from Jungkook’s. He’s close, maybe closer than necessary as the music that plays isn’t too loud nor is the crowd around them. “I can manage one more.”

“Don’t want to spend your first free day in a while with a headache,” Jungkook says. “You’re insufferable enough without one.”

It is true Taehyung can’t handle his liquor because he never really drinks it. Maybe a glass of wine here or there but liquor? He stopped drinking that after a few bad nights and horrible hangovers during his university days. “Funny. I’d say the same thing about you.”

Jungkook looks away from him and towards where the others have moved around the restaurant as it became more crowded. “I’d say I’d go home with you, but I don’t want to give Jimin any more reason to think we’re having an affair.”

Taehyung places a hand to his mouth although it’s too noisy in the restaurant for his laugh to travel. Although, Jimin’s been watching him and Jungkook so closely that he would probably still hear it over the noise. It’s another reason Taehyung is careful to drink slowly because a little too much to drink, and his overheated body will crave even more heat, specifically from another pressed against it and he really doesn’t need Jimin to catch even a hint of that. “You just don’t want to lose the bet.”

At that, Jungkook doesn’t say anything but Taehyung knows the glint in the eye is confirmation of that. 

“You’re going to lose,” Taehyung tells him as he leans in even closer. He watches Jungkook’s mouth as his lips purse, waiting to hear whatever shit he’s about to spew. “Get ready to kiss my ass.”

Jungkook’s tongue appears, probing at the lifted corner of his mouth. He looks aside for a moment before looking back at him, the glint in his eye now so bright that Taehyung’s surprised the entire restaurant isn’t lit up because of it. “Don’t need to wait for the bet to be over. Just bend over.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes as he pulls back. “Don’t stay out too late, Professor,” he says in finality as he slips away from the table. “It’s also your free day tomorrow. Don’t ruin it by being grumpy from lack of sleep. Your whining will surely give me the headache you want me to avoid having.”

Maybe they’re getting old because it isn’t that late, but Taehyung isn’t used to staying out. It tires him out more than the nights he’s stayed up later than usual reading, binge watching dramas, or even working. He doesn’t wait for Jungkook to respond as he searches out Jimin to say goodbye, finding him trying to break up a conversation with someone Taehyung doesn’t recognize.

“Student,” Jimin mouths when he finds Taehyung. “It was nice seeing you out, but it wouldn’t be appropriate of me to linger.”

The students attention is quickly stolen by Taehyung. He bows his head as Taehyung approaches and the excitement in his eyes has dread twisting in his stomach.

“Professor Kim, you’re out too! With Professor Park?” He looks to the side, in the direction of where Taehyung had come from, and that dread worsens in Taehyung’s stomach when his mouth slackens. “Professor Jeon?”

“I am headed out,” Taehyung deflects. “Get home safely, the both of you. You, study for your exams.”

He has no idea what exams the students has, and the student is too busy ogling Jungkook to hear him anyway. 

Not all students spread rumors or entertain them, Taehyung’s sure of that, but by the student’s reaction, he has a feeling he’s going to walk into a lot more gossip about him on Monday.

That thought is confirmed even more so when a body brushes against him before he’s even fully out of view of the restaurant.

“I decided it will work in my favor to walk you home,” Jungkook says before he sighs through his teeth. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket, head tilting cutely to the side. “And I forgot my bus pass.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I told you to keep it in your bag. You never forget that.”

Jungkook whistles pointedly like he does when he wants to make it clear he’s ignoring him. “Ironic, you used to be the one always forgetting things and I’d have to remind you.”

“Too busy scheming,” Taehyung replies quickly. That may be partly true, but he also knows Jungkook’s brain is constantly going even when he claims it isn’t or tries to pretend that it isn’t. “Are you going to tell me what you have in store for exam time?”

Jungkook lets out a throaty noise before he shakes his head. His shit-eating grin reflects in his eyes as he holds out his wrist, which is bare as if he also has forgotten his watch. “No talk about work after hours.”

He takes off then, just enough to walk ahead but close enough that Taehyung can reach him quickly if need be. Taehyung keeps the distance he created as he debates if he should let Jungkook keep walking or reveal that he drove here before he takes out his car keys. 

It beeps unlocked the moment Jungkook walks by it, startling him. He jumps with a hand at his chest, probably glaring at the car before he turns that glare on Taehyung instead. 

“You gonna walk or get in?” Taehyung asks as he grabs the handle to pull the passenger door open. 

Jungkook tilts his head to the side before he grabs Taehyung’s hand, attempting to get the key from him but Taehyung closes his fingers around it. “Let me drive.”

“No. You suck at driving.”

The moment Taehyung ordered a drink, he knew Jungkook would leave with him. Even if he didn’t know whether he drove or not. Taehyung is more than fine to drive, but he has always hated driving at night. 

“Excuse me?” The offense is immediately on his face. “I’m a great driver. Kiss my ass.”

Taehyung releases the keys. “Bend over then.”

Jungkook looks at him as if he’s forgotten what they’re talking about, as if he hasn’t noticed that Taehyung’s giving him the keys. But it only lasts a moment before he attempts to wink and closes both eyes instead.

“Deal.”

He takes off around the car in a rush as if wanting to get to the driver’s seat before Taehyung changes his mind. 

*&*

As expected, the entire university knows both Professor Taehyung and Professor Jungkook were at the same bar. And not only were they at the bar together, but they left together. 

One would assume him and Taehyung were caught having sex on the actual bar itself with how people speak about it in complete disbelief. This time though, as his classes are over, he reads about it more than hears it.

Jungkook’ll never admit this to anyone, but he likes checking the university’s unofficial social media page. It’s like a gossip site, used by students to talk about people and things happening on campus. Since he first found out about their rivalry, he has the habit of checking it for mentions of them. 

It’s partially Jungkook’s fault that everyone thinks he hates Taehyung because rage baiting is his favorite pastime, but it’s partially Taehyung’s fault too. He knows Jungkook likes to get on his nerves, which usually makes it harder. But when it comes to academics? It’s easy, so easy.

The pranks started in their university days, and while most of it is childish and silly, Jungkook still gets a kick out of it. Even though Taehyung is also very good at rage baiting and has gotten him quite good before, it always is harmless. 

He’s excited for the one he’s pulling now. It’s so simple, yet genius. Jungkook is always careful when it comes to pranking during exam time because he doesn’t want to mess with the students. His goal is usually to do something funny at the start of the exam to get them to relax because Taehyung’s exams are fucking hard, and to get a tired Taehyung to take out his frustration on him rather than while grading. But this year, he hadn’t come up with anything until Taehyung implied he knew something was coming.

Because of that, Jungkook decided his prank would be just letting Taehyung think a prank is coming. He’ll be waiting and waiting for it, through every exam, for nothing to happen.

Brilliant.

“Excuse me, Jungkook-ssi?”

It’s Professor Namjoon again. This time, he looks hesitant as he holds up a paper that Jungkook can’t make out from where he sits in the lounge, sipping on a drink he thought would be safe coming from the cafeteria, but Taehyung must have one of the kitchen staff on his side. He isn’t sure what the added flavor is, except that it’s sour and gross and he’s too stubborn not to finish it.

“Your office hours are still open late, correct?”

Jungkook glances at the time in worry that he’s not where he’s supposed to be and Professor Namjoon found a line of students waiting for their missing professor. He’s been forgetting his watch quite often lately, but he had found it stuffed in his bag this morning and has been checking it frequently because he’s been so distracted with his research lately that he keeps being late to things. “Uh, yes. I have a meeting at noon, but I’ll be in my office from one to six.”

Namjoon’s brows furrow as he glances at the paper in hand. “I thought so. You amaze me with your ability to get things done, but I’m afraid this might be too much to ask for.”

The paper in his hand is the list that had been placed on his door for the Christmas party. One Jungkook hadn’t signed because he and Namjoon had verbally agreed to the cake that he still hasn’t asked his husband about because he keeps forgetting to.

He understands once he gets to the bottom and finds eleven, no twelve, lines where he has signed his name and listed a different item he would bring.

Fucking Taehyung. Heat rises in Jungkook because the Christmas party is a few days away, and there is no way he’d be able to make all of this. Store bought is a huge no, even if no one will actually care. His week is jam packed because of his research and upcoming exams, plus he’s been looking forward to classes being done because there’s a new show out that he’s been dying to watch.

A show Taehyung knows he’s planned this week’s schedule around in order to watch. 

Jungkook rubs at his neck, unsure as to what to say. “It’s fine.”

Fuck, fuck. He doesn’t even know if he has time to go to the store at any point. 

“Are you sure?“ Namjoon starts, giving Jungkook an easy out but if it were anyone else running the party, this prank wouldn’t have worked so well. Taehyung knows how much Jungkook admires Namjoon, and because of that, how unwilling he is to ever say no to him even if he really should.

Jungkook’s word is important to him, but even more so when it comes to the head of his department.

He wonders how long Taehyung’s been able to mimic his handwriting.

“I really love cooking.” It isn’t a lie, but the way it comes out makes it sound like it is. “I’ve already made most of it.”

No, no. He needs to take the out, why is his mouth doing this to him? Namjoon isn’t impressed, he looks concerned, but the want to never let him down makes Jungkook’s mouth act foolish. 

“Don’t worry.” Jungkook clears his throat. “I should get to that meeting, if there’s anything else?”

It’s clear there is more, which makes Jungkook’s nerves spike because not only does Namjoon look even more hesitant than before, but he takes Jungkook by the arm and moves aside despite there being no one that close to them and lowers his voice. “You know I must ask, and I do apologize for having to do so again, but there isn’t going on between you and Professor Kim Taehyung, correct? Um, intimately, I guess I mean. I have heard some things today -”

Jungkook grips his arm to interrupt him. “A few of us went to a restaurant the other night and Taehyung-ssi and I leaving together, of course, was taken as something more than it was. He and I live in the same apartment building, as you know.”

Relief relaxes Namjoon’s face and consumes Jungkook. “It’s interesting, gossip, isn’t it? Curious if you think there’s an evolutionary benefit to it? Since it’s existed over time -”

Jungkook grips onto him a little tighter. “I’ll give it some thought. But I really should go.”

Jungkook doesn’t wait for a response before he takes off. He’s grateful the students talk about Kim Namjoon as well, so he understands how these rumors spread. Usually, Jungkook hits Namjoon with a rumor he’s heard whenever Namjoon questions him about Taehyung, but he was too frazzled by the long list of food he needs to make. 

Most of the dishes are easy, although he doesn’t know what the hell a grinch kabob is, but it will still take quite a bit of time. Especially at the store.

He doesn’t have enough time, but he does have enough time to head up to the sociology department. Where Taehyung would be, if his first exam wasn’t today.

Jungkook turns on his heel. He had forgotten that’s why he was waiting in the lounge, drinking his nasty coffee. He was waiting for Taehyung to come out of class, glaring at him or pretending like he didn’t fall for Jungkook’s prank.

Any pride of how genius of an idea he had is gone. Taehyung has completely one upped him and made his prank seem like the dumbest one yet.

It’s difficult not to barge into the classroom, but he really doesn’t want to interrupt the students. He paces outside of it, and nearly jumps to his feet and pushes past the students when the last start to come out.

“What did you do?” Jungkook seethes as he waves the paper at Taehyung. 

Taehyung snatches it from it and peers over it before handing it back with a disinterest that only pisses Jungkook off more. “I signed you up for the dinner party since it’s coming up and you hadn’t yet.”

Jungkook is careful not to crumple the paper when his hand turns to a fist, just in case Namjoon wants it back. “Taehyung,” he seethes, “I can’t make this all.”

There is a tilt to Taehyung’s mouth, but at least he has the decency to not give him a full, satisfied smile. “I believe in you. At university, you’d amaze me with how well you did leaving your work to the last minute and still could function the next day after an all-nighter.”

Jungkook wants to fling his hands in the air and remind him that he’s much older than that now, but as he turns, he realizes there’s still a student there that looks to be waiting for Taehyung.

“I’m sorry,” the student says quickly. “I see this is a bad time.”

Neither one of them gets a chance to tell him it isn’t before he’s scurrying out. Jungkook only waits a beat to make sure he doesn’t return before he turns on Taehyung.

“I didn’t sign up because I already spoke to Namjoon about bringing a cake,” Jungkook wheezes. “Not a - a damn grinch what the fuck or a -” he glances back at the paper in misery. “A Christmas salad? Taehyung, what even is that?”

Taehyung folds his lips but it does little to hide his amusement, which is just as bad as his disinterested look. 

“Laugh, whatever! I already have a lot on my plate -”

“These will take a lot of plates,” Taehyung interrupts, and Jungkook has to fight the urge not to kick him. 

“Oh, haha. What are you, a standup comedian? Laugh factory, here comes Kim fucking Taehyung!” 

He doesn’t know what he’s saying, which means it’s getting to the point Taehyung will know he succeeded, so he storms out. He’s conflicted on what to do, and he doesn’t even have time to figure it out or he’ll be late for his meeting.

Goddamn Taehyung.

“Maybe they did hook up and it went sour. That explains why Professor Jeon was so upset with him earlier. I heard it got out of hand over something as silly as him bringing a salad to the faculty Christmas party.”

Jungkook glares ahead of him. His door is cracked open, his students should know he can hear them. The student in front of him is definitely aware as he pales more every time the voices float into his office.

“I don’t think they did. Them leaving at the same time was probably a coincidence. Besides, they’re both married.”

There’s a beat of silence and then a soft gasp. “What if they are married? You know, to each other.”

There’s a laugh. A really amused sounding one. That seems more ridiculous than them having an affair, although Jungkook really doesn’t want the students to start spreading that rumor. “Don’t be ridiculous. Professor Kim looks like he could kill when Professor Jeon is simply mentioned around him.”

“Haven’t you ever heard of enemies to lovers?”

The student across from him shifts awkwardly in his seat. So far, office hours have been a disaster because Jungkook’s been so distracted that he’s sure it’s noticeable. “I think people are misunderstanding conflict theory in regards to relationships, Professor Jeon.”

Amusement rises inside of Jungkook, and he lets it show enough for his student to relax. “Are you taking sociology as well?”

It doesn’t work. Rather, his student looks even more uncomfortable. He must be taking sociology with Taehyung and doesn’t want to mention it. Especially with those talking about them just outside.

Jungkook should shut that down. Namjoon in general has found their prank war amusing, but he doesn’t want to cross the line. He didn’t blow up as badly as the students are implying, but that’s the risk they take playing these games. The story can spread and twist until it sounds as if one of them were trying to actually kill the other.

Or trying to bang, according to Jimin. Jungkook was also accused of it again after leaving with Taehyung, but he ignored the text and Jimin completely since.

He should have known Jimin wouldn’t allow himself to be ignored long though, as Jungkook hears his voice join the gossiping ones outside of his door. 

“Excuse me, excuse me, I hate to break up this wonderful conversation that should be quieter,” Jimin says before the side of his body appears in the crack of the door. “Professor Jeon, a word?”

Jungkook glances at his watch. For a very brief moment, he had considered finding a way to rush through his students until he reminded himself how shitty that would be to do, but he doesn’t feel as bad with Jimin. Jimin will understand, especially when Jungkook explains why he’s in a rush. Not only does he already know how much Jungkook wants to impress Namjoon, he will also take it as Jungkook trying his best to get out of talking about his alleged affair with Taehyung. 

“I am taking over,” Jimin announces as he waves his hands at Jungkook. “Someone let it slip to me that your dumbass signed up to make basically everything for our dinner. You signed up this morning, which means you haven’t even started.”

Jungkook warms. “What?”

“Go on,” Jimin urges. “I’ll finish up your office hours. You owe me.”

Still, Jungkook doesn’t move. Even when Jimin pushes his chair with his body. “You’re a sociology -”

Jimin waves his hands again. “What’s the difference? Kidding, kidding,” he quickly adds when Jungkook’s mouth immediately falls open to argue. “I double majored. Top of my class. Go on, get out of here.”

Part of Jungkook wants to decline the offer because it won’t look good if Namjoon appears and finds Jungkook lied about his office hours, but another part of him wants to kiss Jimin on the mouth and beg for forgiveness for ignoring him. 

“What are we looking at here?” Jimin asks his student as he turns away from Jungkook pointedly. “Where were you and Professor Jeon?”

His student looks nervous again. “I’m done.”

“Phew,” Jimin says as he looks over the student’s notebook. “I don’t know what the hell ‘function to form’ means. Kidding. Again. Go on, Jeon, I always look forward to your cooking.”

Would Jimin team up with Taehyung to pull a prank on him? Jungkook considers it as he lingers by his desk. He doesn’t think so, but maybe… Jimin’s price would probably just be information.

Jungkook will take the chance. For the sake of Kim Namjoon.

skip the grocery store, chef-nim

Along with the text, a picture comes. It’s a screenshot of a delivery confirmation, and a picture of Jungkook’s front door.

As grateful as Jungkook should be, and wants to be because he forgot online ordering was even a thing, he can feel the smugness in the text and that has him wanting to send the middle finger emoji in response. He doesn’t, but he thinks about it the entire trip home, and even as he’s dragging the food into his house. 

When he’s got everything inside, he inhales and exhales slowly until everything from the day is released at the door. It’s a rule that was made years ago, because in university and during his first internship, he’d come home so frazzled and stressed that it was impossible to relax and his sleep was badly affected by it. He’s done it every day since, even when it was a good day without stress, and it works. 

Mostly. He can leave work at work, but that’s a little harder when now he has to cook for work from home. 

With more time on his hands, he’s now amused by Taehyung’s prank. Knowing Taehyung, he’s sure he searched up holiday party appetizers and chose whatever he wanted to eat. He was probably hungry when he did so, which is why the list is so long. 

It takes him longer than he expects to sort everything, and by the time he’s finished, his entire kitchen and even part of his living area is covered in food. It’s another reason he should be grateful to both Jimin and Taehyung, but he’s petty.

So much so that when the front door beeps as it’s being unlocked, Jungkook quickly swallows down his surprise and prepares to put on the best ignoring act of all time. He’s never been great at that, but this time, he’ll win an Oscar for outstanding performance -

“Jungkook? What are you doing here?”

Jungkook whirls around and points the wooden spoon he had grabbed at Taehyung, who stands there with confusion on his face. “Excuse me? Does the house normally look like it’s designed by whoever designs grocery stores? What do you think I’m doing?”

Taehyung’s confused expression fades into an amused one as he folds his lips together and tucks his hands into the pocket of his coat to look around. “I meant, why are you here and not in your office?”

“Did you not tell Jimin about your silly little prank?”

“I did,” Taehyung admits as he shucks off his shoes and hesitates placing his coat on the rack as it’s filled with the bags the food was delivered in because instead of stuffing them all into one bag, Jungkook has hung them individually.

He knows Taehyung hates that.

“He took over my office hours to help out,” Jungkook explains. “I thought he was conspiring with you, but look at that, an actual good person in my life.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, his smile soft as he undoes his cuffs and pushes the sleeves to his elbows. He doesn’t say anything when he’s right in front of Jungkook, chin tilted slightly. There’s an expectant look on his face, but Jungkook’s still punishing him.

The amusement grows in Taehyung’s expression as he grabs the knot of his tie and undoes it himself. 

“I had already planned to leave much earlier than usual now that I’ve had my last exam,” Taehyung says lowly, dragging the words out, “To start.”

Jungkook peers his eyes at him in disbelief, although he can tell Taehyung’s telling the truth. “Are you sure you’re not here to distract me instead?”

Taehyung tilts his head to the side as if considering it. Shit. “Well, I do like watching you cook for me.”

It confirms Jungkook’s suspicion that everything on the list is for Taehyung specifically. “I told you, you need to stop skipping breakfast. If you weren’t so hungry when you made this, this list would be shorter.”

Taehyung hums as he cups Jungkook’s neck and doesn’t deny it. Jungkook doesn’t press it either as he fits a hand to Taehyung’s waist until the space between them is nonexistent.

There’s still a dumb grin on Taehyung’s face when he presses their mouths together, but Jungkook doesn’t mind. He likes it actually, it’s one of his favorite things about this prank war between them, even though that grin comes when Taehyung’s gotten him good. 

“Sorry,” Jungkook mumbles as he runs a hand down the back of Taehyung’s head. “Someone had the barista make my coffee taste like shit, so I’ve had a weird taste in my mouth.” He opens his mouth and huffs against Taehyung’s face, which makes Taehyung grip onto his sides as his body moves with his laughter. “Kiss me again. It’s only right you’re forced to deal with it too.”

Taehyung kisses him again, still laughing. He wraps his arms around Jungkook’s neck, but Jungkook breaks the kiss after a moment because he isn’t completely convinced that Taehyung isn’t here to distract him. 

“Let me guess,” Jungkook murmurs teasingly as he steps back to grab the apron that Taehyung had bought him as a joke. It says ‘World’s Okayest Cook,’ which Jungkook pretended not to find funny, but it’s out because the other is too inappropriate and Jungkook’s worried he’ll forget to put it away when family’s over. Ever since he’s gotten that one, he doesn’t even like saying ‘sausage’ around his parents. “That pile over there is ingredients for dinner.”

Taehyung groans lowly as he grabs Jungkook’s hand. He pushes his lips into a pout that Jungkook has pretended for years doesn’t work on him. “Yes, please, chef-nim.”

Gently, Jungkook flicks those pouted lips. “You realized this doesn’t work on me, so you brought in Kim Namjoon to get your way.”

“What happened to feeding me being your love language?” Taehyung asks as he starts grabbing the ingredients for dinner and changing it out with the stuff for the cookies Jungkook planned on making first. “I would never use your crush on your boss against you.”

Jungkook grabs a grape waiting to be made into a tiny Grinch kabob and tosses it at Taehyung. “He isn’t…” he starts, “technically my boss.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes as he props himself against the counter, a patient look on his face because he already knows he’s going to get his way. Feeding him is, in fact, Jungkook’s love language. As much as he loves to cook, he loves it even more when Taehyung, specifically, is the one enjoying whatever he’s made. “I’m surprised you let Jimin take over your office hours. Don’t you hate when people say psych and soc are the same? You must love Kim Namjoon more than I realized.”

Mostly, Jungkook argues that just to annoy Taehyung but because he’s done it so often, he’s had to stick to it. “Jimin said he double majored.”

A big smile takes over Taehyung’s face, and not one that he enjoys but one that makes him want to groan instead. “In psychology and early education, but I’m sure he’ll do fine.”

Pretending to be more annoyed than he is, because he’s even more grateful for Jimin now, he grabs the first bag of whatever he can reach and tosses it over the counter more roughly than he usually would. 

Taehyung laughs as he sneaks up behind him, arms circling around his waist. His lips tickle the side of Jungkook’s neck until Jungkook tilts his head just slightly and then he plants an opened mouth kiss to his skin that has Jungkook more convinced he’s here to distract him.

“My last exam was today,” Taehyung mutters, lips still close to his skin. “I have the time to make this all myself. Thought it’d be a nice surprise.”

Jungkook stills before he turns just enough to see Taehyung’s expression. “I’ll head back to work then.”

He turns without any intention of actually taking off, but Taehyung still traps his wrists to the counter and presses against him so he can’t leave. 

“Cooking together is even better,” Taehyung tells him. “I’ve been impatient for this semester to be over to have you more to myself. Looks like the universe gave it to me earlier than expected.”

Oh no. Jungkook lied when he said the pout didn’t work on him, but this is even worse. His resolve is already slipping. He believes Taehyung really did plan on doing this all himself, but he still wants to punish him for not telling him that until now. He should pull away and keep up the ruse from work, pretending that there’s nothing between them and Taehyung’s just some annoying guy he has to be around. 

But he really likes the pressure of Taehyung’s body against his own and his breath against his skin. Even more so, he likes kissing that dumb, satisfied smile from Taehyung’s mouth and Taehyung fricking knows that.

“Excuse me,” Jungkook tries weakly. Taehyung’s grip on his wrists isn’t that firm, he could break past it if he wanted to, but he doesn’t want to. “Who are you?”

Taehyung presses his lips together and nods as if he understands. He steps back, and Jungkook already regrets it. He battles with himself whether to call Taehyung back or not as he watches Taehyung grab his own apron and start washing his hands. 

“You start dinner. I’ll work on the - what is even on the list? I just went through Christmas party dish ideas, but I really wasn’t paying attention.” Taehyung looks for it, and Jungkook’s petty enough right now not to point it out. He frowns at how quickly Taehyung finds it. “The rice snowmen balls sound cute. Easy enough.” 

Jungkook doesn’t move out of Taehyung’s way for him to get to the rice cooker, which isn’t just because of his pettiness. He uses it as a way to pull Taehyung where he was, back against him. 

“You owe me more than just help,” Jungkook tells him quietly. “I was quite frazzled.”

Gently, Taehyung runs his knuckles over Jungkook’s cheek. “Anything. I’ll even watch that show with you later.”

Jungkook pushes from the counter eagerly and readjusts his apron. Despite his teasing, Taehyung always watches his shows with him and secretly enjoys them. The more he teases something, the more he loves it. 

“Get the rice, hot stuff. We don’t have time to lose.”

*&*

Getting the food to the Christmas party isn’t something Taehyung had considered. He was just excited to surprise Jungkook by cooking it all that he didn’t think past that. 

Fuck it. He’s just being a good coworker by helping Jungkook bring it. 

“I totally forgot about the gift exchange,” Jungkook says as he appears in the living area. He had been getting ready longer than expected, which Taehyung assumed was his way of getting out of having to pack everything together. “This is all your fault. It was in my planner, but I forgot about everything but these damn appetizers.”

He lets out a noise of distress as he plants his hands to his face. Taehyung forces down his smile as he pries them away.

“It’s not a big deal,” Taehyung assures him. “People usually bring extra just in case.”

At first, Jungkook doesn’t look convinced, but he lets Taehyung keep his hands from his face. “We can stop at a store on our way -”

Taehyung kisses him quiet. “No one will notice. And if they do, that’ll be rude since you’re bringing almost all of the food.”

Jungkook gives him a look that points the blame to Taehyung, but he doesn’t say anything as Taehyung kisses him again. 

“It’ll be fine, I promise,” Taehyung says as he releases Jungkook’s hands and steps back to get a look at his outfit and make sure he actually is wearing what Taehyung thought he was before moving in to reassure him. “What are you wearing? It isn’t an ugly Christmas sweater party.”

Jungkook glances down at his sweater, pulling at the bottom as if he is looking at it for the first time. “It isn’t ugly. It’s a gift from my husband. Don’t you be rude.”

It would be ugly, if anyone other than Jungkook was wearing it. Taehyung runs a hand over the large ‘Peace’ stitched over his chest. “You do realize this is a set?” he says, trying hard not to laugh. “The other says, ‘I come in Peace.’”

Jungkook’s eyes widen, but he tilts his chin in defiance. “Not if you keep it up.”

Taehyung presses his tongue hard into the roof of his mouth as he struggles even more now not to laugh, but he isn’t sure it works. “Keep what up? I’m not doing anything.”

“Maybe you should wear the matching one,” Jungkook says as he starts on the bags Taehyung had packed. They had thankfully been able to borrow some delivery bags, large enough to fit everything, but carrying it is still going to be a bitch. “I’ll still win the bet.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Jimin’s close to realizing we’re married, babe. I’d say if I were to match you tonight, that’s a sure way for you to lose the bet, but I think Jimin just might have a heart attack instead.”

It’s a silly bet, one that Taehyung isn’t sure why he agreed to except that Jungkook and him had already decided they would keep their marriage private. But of course, Jungkook and Jimin had to debate whether or not it was obvious that Yoongi and Jimin were in a relationship which led to a series of debates that Taehyung was pulled into and now they’re here.

When it comes to following Jungkook’s arguments and debates, Taehyung never understands how he got where he ends up. All he knows is Jungkook is convinced he can do a better job at pretending than Jimin can and that Jimin’ll never figure it out. 

To be fair, Jungkook said that directly to Jimin when he first called him out on it being obvious and Jimin still hasn’t caught on, but he is close. 

“Fine, compromise,” Jungkook says, a glint in his eye as he grabs Taehyung’s arm before he can throw a bag over his shoulder and drags him close. His breath hits Taehyung’s cheek before that grin grazes over his skin. “Come in me later then.”

Taehyung’s nerves spark, his teeth digging hard into his bottom lip. He turns his head, just enough for their lips to touch. “I’ll think about it.”

Jungkook kisses him like he’s trying to convince Taehyung why he should make that promise, but it doesn’t last long before he’s pulling away due to a knock at the door. 

They rarely get visitors other than their neighbors, which Taehyung has half a mind to ignore so he can kiss Jungkook for a little longer before he has to pretend to barely know him, but the next knock is more demanding. 

“Jungkook-ssi! It is me, your savior, Park Jimin!”

The panic is instant. In Jungkook mostly, his face paling and eyes bulging as Park Jimin’s voice sounds through the door. He grabs onto Taehyung and pushes him before pausing to look around their apartment.

“Oh no,” Taehyung warns as he realizes what Jungkook’s thinking. “I’m not hiding in my own home, Jungkook-ah.”

Jungkook gives him a desperate look. “Did you do this? That’s cheating.”

Taehyung laughs as Jimin knocks on the door again. “I didn’t.”

“Don’t,” Jungkook says as Taehyung nudges him towards the door. “I’ll suck you off later if you hide.”

“Tempting,” Taehyung teases. “I’ll suck you off after if you answer the door.”

Jungkook lets him go and turns around to grab the doorknob before nearly ripping the door from its frame. Both Jimin and Yoongi are there, a bright smile on Jimin’s face that slowly morphs into surprise when his eyes catch onto Taehyung.

Taehyung raises his hands and speaks before Jungkook does. “Jimin-ah! Have you come to help too?”

There’s suspicion on Jimin’s face as he enters the apartment, his eyes locked on Taehyung as Taehyung grabs the first bag he can reach and hands it off. It would work in his favor if he didn’t pretend to be here just to help, he’d win the bet if he didn’t say anything at all and allowed Jimin to really take in their apartment and realize they’re in fact married, but he owes Jungkook.

“I enjoy pranking Professor Jeon, but I’m not actually cruel,” Taehyung goes on. “Yoongi-ssi, nice to see you again.”

Yoongi grabs the bag before Jimin can, his eyes on Jungkook. “I have that same sweater.”

Jungkook’s mouth parts, but he doesn’t say anything. His face is reddened, and he definitely looks guilty of something. “Um, how did you find my address?”

The suspicion doesn’t fade as Jimin looks between the two of them. “Are you alright? You’re very red.”

Jungkook clears his throat. “This sweater is incredibly hot. If you’d excuse me, I’m going to change it.”

He is too stiff as he moves, and Taehyung struggles not to laugh as he watches him go. He’s probably smart for leaving, Taehyung thinks as Jimin grabs onto him and pulls him close the moment Jungkook is gone. 

“Explain,” Jimin whispers hurriedly. “You aren’t here just to help. Jungkook looks guilty as hell.”

The alleged affair isn’t something Taehyung saw coming. Maybe he should have because in the workplace, Jungkook and his rivalry is genuine so marriage may not be something someone expects. It’s always been that way, even in university they were constantly at each other’s neck when it came to academics, but they were at each other’s neck in a much more intimate way in private. Maybe it’s strange to others and that’s why them being married wouldn’t be Jimin’s first guess, but with how perceptive Jimin is, he’s still surprised Jimin went to them having an affair first. 

He really shouldn’t let Jimin think that for long, bet or not, but Jungkook probably wants him to. If he thinks they’re having an affair then technically Jungkook will argue that he’s won based on semantics and if Taehyung goes out of his way to tell Jimin otherwise, he’s sabotaging the bet and Jungkook will win either way. 

“Jungkook always looks guilty as hell,” Taehyung says. “He’s always up to something. Weren’t you just telling me the other day that he was acting weird and you couldn’t figure out why until you found all the crackers you had hidden in the staff room were gone?”

It doesn’t bring a smile to Jimin’s lips like Taehyung’s intended, although it had been quite endearing how insistent Jungkook was that he wasn’t the culprit while making it incredibly obvious that he was. He was so insistent that he kept it up with Taehyung, even after stopping at the store before coming home with double the amount of crackers to restock Jimin’s stash. 

Jimin only looks at him, unamused. “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t,” Taehyung insists as he steps past Jimin. It’s his fault he hasn’t caught on yet. Their wedding picture is in this exact room, out on display for anyone of them to see. And there’s been plenty of other things Jimin could connect together. Jungkook has mentioned knowing Kim Seokjin personally, they have access to each other’s personal files, multiple different couples keychains and jewelry, not including their wedding bands which are the exact same. “You teach about confirmation bias, don’t you? Something about only seeing what confirms your already belief and rejecting what contradicts it? Or something of that sort. I’m not well versed on the theory.”

Jimin purses his lips, only a slight bit of amusement breaking through his glare. “You’re the one who gave me the idea to buy those sweaters for Yoongi and I.”

Another piece of evidence there. He’ll get it. “What does confirmation bias say about coincidences?” Taehyung shrugs. “I’ll start bringing this to the car.”

Changing his outfit was a good idea if anyone else they worked with recognized his original sweater, but Taehyung isn’t sure if Jungkook realizes he’s made them look even more like a couple. Or if he was so panicked about Jimin arriving that he forgot what Taehyung was wearing.

Both of them have a habit of buying the same thing in different colors, which is why Taehyung is wearing a velvet green sweater that matches exactly with Jungkook’s red velvet sweater. They’re both wearing black with it, although Jungkook has gone with jeans and boots while Taehyung is in slacks with loafers. Only their watches are different, but those too came in a matching set. 

Taehyung watches as Jungkook insists on putting all of the food out himself. He still looks a bit flustered, but that could be because of the praise falling from Kim Namjoon’s mouth. He looks more than impressed, and surprised, that Jungkook’s actually made everything Taehyung signed him up for.

Pride swells in Taehyung’s chest, even though he made most of it. He knows Jungkook was excited to join this university because he wanted to work with Kim Namjoon, he just wonders how long it’ll take for Jungkook to realize that he’s already proven himself enough that he doesn’t have to keep trying to impress him. 

“It’s a shame your husband hates Christmas,” Taehyung hears Namjoon say as he brings up his own dish. He freezes. “You seem really enthusiastic about it.”

It’s difficult not to glare at Jungkook, who pointedly ignores the questioning look Taehyung gives him.

“It is a shame,” Taehyung says after a moment, as he slips his dish into the little free space there is on the buffet table.  “How can one hate Christmas?”

Jungkook shrugs and continues to avoid his gaze. “He may be a flawed man, but I love him.”

“That’s unforgivable though,” Taehyung presses to see how far Jungkook will go with this. Saying he hates Christmas is unforgivable, although it is smart. He doesn’t share much with his coworkers, but one thing everyone knows about him is how much he loves Christmas. “It’s the best time of the year.”

“You only say that because it’s almost your birthday,” Jungkook retaliates, his tone defensive. “My husband likes the summer. Near the end of it. September first, to be exact, is his favorite day of the year.”

Sometimes, Taehyung isn’t sure how anyone can’t tell they’re married. Fondness swells inside of him, and it must show on his face because he feels as if he’s drowning in it. “The start of term? Your husband does sound dreadful.”

Jungkook’s lips purse together, eyes narrowing. He’s considering a snapback, Taehyung’s sure, but seems to decide against it to turn to Namjoon instead. “Excuse me.”

Namjoon clears his throat awkwardly as Jungkook takes off. He shoves his hands into his pockets and rocks on his feet until his body is turned towards Taehyung. “I heard about how much money you raised for the honey bee conservatory. That’s amazing. Great job.”

“Thank you, Namjoon-ssi. We should do something next semester. I think some of the students from my club helped yours with those trees you planted in the park.”

Jungkook returns, slightly pushing Taehyung aside to place down another dish in a spot where there is no room. He pushes Taehyung a little more, and then again, before finding an empty spot on the table.

“What are you doing?” Taehyung asks quietly because one of the few people they actually do not want to know they’re in a relationship is watching them.

“I don’t need you and Kim Namjoon canoodling,” Jungkook whispers accusingly. “You’ll get him on your side and ruin my life.”

Taehyung fights the urge to plant a hand to Jungkook’s back. “How?”

Jungkook shrugs. He busies himself with unwrapping the plate and Taehyung pretends to help when he drops his voice. “That’s like my worst, best wet dream.”

To muffle his laugh as it rips from him so suddenly that he can’t stop it, Taehyung has to stuff his face into his elbow and pretend he’s coughing.

Jimin surprising him at their apartment must have really frazzled him, for Jungkook never even risks being overheard at work. Or perhaps he is that concerned about him and Namjoon ‘canoodling.’ 

“I don’t think Namjoon would conspire with me,” Taehyung assures him once he’s certain his words won’t come out choked. “You’re his favorite.”

Jungkook eyes Namjoon, who has now turned away like he doesn’t want to bear witness to another fight between the two of them. “Doesn’t stop you, does it?”

*&*

After more time than Jungkook would like to acknowledge, his nerves settle. He had been really thrown when Jimin appeared at his house, more than he normally would because he’s already a bit nervous.

During their end of a semester dinner, they acknowledge achievements made in the department, mention work being done by each professor, and have a gift exchange that Jungkook completely fucking forgot about.

Until right before they left. And not only did Jungkook forget a gift for this party, he completely forgot to get Taehyung anything. He doesn’t have a single idea either because he always tries to get something better than the year before, but what tops himself?

Perhaps he had forgotten last year too, and had to rush at the last minute to wrap himself in bows. It ended up working in his favor because Taehyung was beyond pleased and Jungkook had one hell of a night because of it, but he can’t do that again. He can’t make it obvious that he’s forgotten and scrapping together a gift at the last minute. 

The only thing Taehyung wants more than him is a dog, but they’ve both agreed that having a pet right now isn’t feasible. And other than that, the only thing Jungkook can think of would require him to lose the bet. 

He doesn’t know how he’s ended up being the forgetful one, it’s never been like this before. Taehyung’s probably already gotten his gift and hid it somewhere in the house.

Or his office. Maybe Jungkook will steal it so his lack of gift won’t look so bad.

No, he can’t do that. Well, maybe he could. Just a few days ago, Jimin had these really addictive chocolate crackers stashed and Jungkook accidentally ate all of them, but no one caught on that it was him. He could possibly get away with it, but no, no, Taehyung really looks forward to giving gifts during Christmas. No amount of naked skin covered in bows would make him feel better if the gift he had gotten Jungkook was stolen. 

“What’s on your brain?” Jimin asks as he slides his plate next to where Jungkook sits, staring down at his own without touching it. “I was just kidding when I said you’ll have to do a speech about your research.”

Jungkook frowns at him as a reminder of how not funny he thought that was. “This morning, I realized I haven’t gotten anything for my husband for Christmas.”

“It’s still a few weeks away,” Jimin reminds him as Yoongi joins them. “I haven’t gotten Yoongi anything yet.”

Yoongi frowns at him too, but turns his head when Jimin looks at him and pretends like he hadn’t heard.

“Yes, but I don’t have a single idea. He likes jewelry but -” Jungkook falls off, trying now to think of something to change the subject. He can’t brainstorm without Jimin catching on, and he knows Jimin’s going to use this conversation to pry. “Oh man, who made this? Tastes like dirt.”

Jimin laughs, hand coming down to pat his shoulder while he does. “You did, didn’t you?”

Jungkook spits the food out into his napkin, unsure as to what he just ate because he had quickly shoved it into his mouth to change the subject. His face warms as he scans the hall for Taehyung, whose turned away from him so he can’t see his glare. 

Was his sweet gesture actually another prank? Did he sabotage Jungkook’s appetizers?

Fuck that, fuck Christmas. Taehyung can celebrate on his own. Jungkook will steal his gift and give it away. Unless he really likes it, which he probably will, but he’ll pretend he doesn’t just to spite Taehyung. 

“Oh, wait,” Jimin shoves a spoon into the mush that Jungkook must have eaten. “I think Namjoon made that.”

Jungkook turns his glare from Taehyung. Christmas is back on. “It doesn’t taste that bad. I was just trying to change the subject.”

Jimin rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t tease like Jungkook expects him to. Instead, he pulls out his phone and taps away for a moment before showing him the screen.

“I stole this from Taehyung’s wish list,” Jimin explains. “To put on my own.” He clears his throat pointedly and Yoongi looks up, but not at the screen. “But if your husband hates Christmas so much -”

Jungkook ignores him as he steals the phone to take a screenshot of the jewelry set and send it to himself because it’s beautiful and he knows Taehyung will love it. If Jimin keeps saving his ass, he might actually have to kiss him on the mouth.

Or perhaps he should just tell him the truth, but Jungkook refuses to lose a bet. When Jimin suggested they were having an affair, Jungkook thought if he could give Jimin enough reason to keep thinking that, it would work in his favor. He’d be able to win that way because the bet wasn’t Jimin wouldn’t be able to find out they were together in some way, but specifically that they were in a relationship the same as Jimin and Yoongi are. Together, monogamous, not having an affair.

He’s sure Taehyung would argue how having an affair could still count as a ‘relationship’ by definition, but Jungkook’s prepared to win that argument. If his points are absurd enough, Taehyung eventually gives up trying to argue even if he was winning it.  

“You’re welcome,” Jimin says as he takes his phone back. “Now tell me what Taehyung was doing in your apartment.”

Jungkook considers shoving the entire contents of his plate into his mouth in one go to get out of answering. “Tell me how you found out where I live.”

He isn’t expecting Jimin to tell him, but he does. “I told Namjoon you were way over your head and wanted to surprise you with help for this party. Now you.”

A gasp flies up into Jungkook’s throat as he stands to his feet. “Why would you? You know how I - and I said a good person.” He grabs his place gently despite the betrayal that is ripping through him and creating a desperate urge for him to storm off as fast as possible. “Forget kissing you.”

“Excuse me?”

Jungkook takes off to the next table over. He’s already sitting by the time he realizes he’s right next to Kim Namjoon.

“My husband helped me, um, but I didn’t need the help,” Jungkook explains as Namjoon looks at him in question. “His hatred for Christmas doesn’t compare to his love of food and spending quality time together. It’s actually one of the reasons I chose so many dishes, um, so we could spend more time together. You know, with how time consuming work can be.” 

Namjoon just looks at him, long enough that Jungkook considers he should find another table. Perhaps even another university to teach at. Taehyung wouldn’t be down for that, but Jungkook could pretend they’re going on vacation and surprise Taehyung with all of their belongings in a new home across the country once they get there.  

“This is really good,” Jungkook says because he’s waited too long to decide and Namjoon seems to realize someone needs to speak as his mouth opens before Jungkook cuts him off. He lifts a spoon full of whatever it is that Namjoon made. “So good, Professor Chef-nim.”

Thankfully, there are no speeches, just like Jimin had said. The heads of each department speak and do talk about different professors, but he’s only acknowledged, his upcoming research mentioned, and he doesn’t have to do anything but nod in his head in gratitude.

And also thankfully, there are plenty of gifts to go around. No one seems to be missing one or notice that Jungkook didn’t bring one.

Because he had, apparently.

“Ah, Jungkook,” Namjoon calls as he holds up a gift bag that clearly has ‘from Jungkook’ written in very large letters on the side of the bag. Obnoxiously large letters. 

Crap. Jungkook resists the urge to look at Taehyung again. He does not, at all, want to know what Taehyung bought on his behalf.

He shouldn’t have trusted him when he said it would be fine. He shouldn’t have left his guard down thinking the pranks were over now that the semester has ended. He’s been so absorbed in work and making sure he had everything ready for this dinner, that he’s behind on this prank war to begin with. Of course Taehyung is going to use that to his advantage.

Because fricking Taehyung was quick to volunteer to hand out the gifts, and Jungkook’s sure he gave the gift with his name to Namjoon on purpose. 

“Oh lovely,” Namjoon says as he pulls something from the giftbag. It looks to be a mug, but Jungkook’s eyes are latched onto Namjoon’s face like his life depends on figuring out if he really enjoys it or is just pretending. “This is from Professor Kim Taehyung’s fundraiser, right?”

Relief floods through Jungkook as Namjoon shows off the mug that says, ‘Bee the best version of you’ with a cute bee drawn by one of his students. It’s the same mug he’s bought dozens of to give to their family members and support Taehyung’s club, so in a way, the gift is actually from him. 

“Oh, yes,” Jungkook says. “That’s a, uh, gourd, no, squash, bee.”

Is it? He has no idea and he doesn’t even care right now.

He swears he hears Taehyung huff from wherever he is.

Namjoon smiles widely. “Thank you so much. I love it.”

If it weren’t for the bet and the even more important reason of agreeing to keep their relationship quiet, Jungkook would kiss Taehyung on the mouth. The cheek. The chest. Every single one of his fingers. Toes. Whatever. He’s getting kissed everywhere as soon as they’re in the clear. 

Jungkook can only nod, unsure if a breath of relief instead of words will come out if he opens his mouth. 

The rest of the dinner goes smoothly, but Jungkook is burnt by the end of it. He thinks being tired is one of the reasons his nerves have spiked as much as they have today, because they usually don’t. He just doesn’t want to be the first one to leave, so he waits until someone else does.

And thankfully, that first person is Taehyung. 

“I should get going. Professor Jeon and I drove together, and I know he’s worried about his husband. The rash was starting to appear when I picked him up.”

Their coworker glances from Taehyung to Jungkook, a confused, questioning look on their face as if they haven’t heard the rumor about Jungkook’s Christmas hating husband. He did think it would spread, but perhaps it hadn’t if Taehyung’s annoyed response to hearing Namoon say it was any indication.

He may have said that originally to quickly get out of having to explain why his husband wouldn’t be coming to the Christmas party, but it was clever. Not only do their colleagues know Taehyung’s birthday is near Christmas and that he enjoys the holiday season, he also knew it would annoy Taehyung. 

“His fault,” Jungkook explains sheepishly. “He insisted on listening to Christmas music while making the Christmas cookies because he just loves me that much. He says he’s fine, but Professor Kim is right, I should get going before the rash spreads. That man is a disaster when he isn’t feeling good.”

Taehyung purses his lips together, a challenging look in his eye because they often argue about whose the worst when it comes to being sick, but Jungkook twists on his heel and pretends he didn’t notice it. 

*&*

Taehyung watches, uncaring right now who notices. There’s a slump in Jungkook’s shoulders, a dullness to his usual bright face. It may not be noticed by most, but Taehyung can see it.

He’s burnt. Taehyung had a feeling he would be. His nerves have shown since before they left for the party, and Taehyung’s not exactly sure what’s causing it. It can’t be Jimin catching them, that could work in Jungkook’s favor if Jimin hadn’t noticed their wedding pictures. But either way, the nerves may not burn out Jungkook but hiding those nerves from their coworkers definitely will. 

Moments like these, Taehyung doesn’t care if they’re found out. They’ll deal with the consequences, whatever they may be, but he doesn’t want to make Jungkook’s nerves worse either. So he resists the urge to wrap an arm around Jungkook’s back while they take off, leaving an enemy-like distance between them until they’re at the car. 

“I don’t think so,” Taehyung tuts, snatching the keys from Jungkook as he immediately heads to the driver’s seat. Jungkook must have stolen them from him while unpacking the car. “You’re tired.”

Jungkook’s chin tilts, his fingers on Taehyung’s wrist. “No, I am not. I was just pretending to be at the party so my early departure would make sense. You beat me with the excuse to leave.”

That could actually be true, but Taehyung doesn’t believe him. “I’ll drive.”

Jungkook tugs on his wrist as Taehyung steps forward, pressing into him needlessly until he has Jungkook trapped against the door of the car. The surprise has Jungkook letting go of his hand to touch his waist instead, but Taehyung only lingers against him long enough to unlock the door and pull it open before he wrestles to get into the driver’s seat first.

When Jungkook slumps into the passenger seat, he sighs loudly. “I’m not that tired,” he says. “We only cooked yesterday, and we probably shouldn’t have watched another episode because I can’t handle a late night anymore, but I just need a tea. I should go back to the office since I didn’t do much yester -”

He quiets when Taehyung leans over him, brows furrowing together. He grabs the seatbelt as if that’s what he thinks Taehyung is grabbing for, but he cups Jungkook’s cheek instead.

Without a word, Taehyung kisses him. At first, he seems to still in surprise because even if they’re in a dimly lit parking lot, they’re still on school grounds, but it only lasts a moment before Jungkook’s mouth is parting to kiss him back.

“No talk about work after hours,” Taehyung reminds him lowly.

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Doesn’t count today. Your cooking project put me behind on my research. I need to refer to Kruger’s 2023 citations, the article, the one -”

“That just so happens to criticize your field as I have,” Taehyung finishes. “You already did that. I saw it in your notes.”

He pulls away then, as Jungkook frowns. Probably in more surprise or confusion because he hadn’t done that yet, but it is in there. Taehyung couldn’t help himself when he came across the article in Jungkook’s to-read list and decided to do the note-taking and citation linking while he was at it.

It was also more practice copying Jungkook’s handwriting, which worked in his favor when signing him up for all of the food for tonight. 

“When I mention criticisms of evolutionary psychology, you get defensive. I wonder if you would if I was a psychologist. A hot -”

“Kruger isn’t hot.”

“Psychology professor with tenure and dimples.”

Jungkook grins. “You put the sexy in sociology, babe.” He slips hand over Taehyung’s thigh and grabs onto it. “Thank you for bringing a gift from me. My memory has been getting worse, it seems.”

It does seem that way, but Taehyung blames that more on Jungkook not giving himself a break than anything else. He’s been staying late in the office, and while his claims that it’s because of upcoming exams may be true, Taehyung knows it’s also because of his research.

That’s why he forced Jungkook home with busy work, even if he did most of it himself. He wanted it that way, to just have Jungkook there and resting. That’s why he’s been adding things to Jungkook’s research notes when he isn’t paying attention so he isn’t as behind as he thinks he is.

That’s why he offered the bonus points to Jungkook’s class because when he looked over Jungkook’s upcoming exam, the usual bonus questions he adds were nowhere to be found. He’s pretty sure Jungkook still hasn’t noticed and won’t until he starts grading.

“I should have let you know in advance,” Taehyung apologizes. “About the cooking too. I really wasn’t expecting you to leave your office that early. I thought I’d be able to get you to promise to leave early the next few days instead. You know, as a thank you for doing all that.”

Jungkook’s fingers are restless against Taehyung’s thigh, constantly squeezing and kneading his skin. “It’s your fault all of that cooking was necessary anyway.”

Taehyung grins. He’s looking ahead as he drives, but he knows Jungkook’s nose is wrinkled and eyes narrowed accusingly at his profile. “You aren’t going to take a break on your own, Jungkook-ah.” 

It’s true, but Jungkook will deny it. He always does. Even when it’s so clear that he’s overworking himself, he’ll deny it until he’s blue in the face and nearly passing out. It had gotten better once Taehyung told him that they need to start leaving work at work, but it did take awhile until Jungkook could fully do that.

But leaving work at work means Jungkook cramming as much as he can during work hours. That’s an upside to the prank war because Taehyung knows, sometimes at least, Jungkook’s not overloading himself with stress and giving himself breaks. When Taehyung’s uncertain if Jungkook’s been taking breaks, he’ll pull something because Jungkook cannot resist getting revenge. Even if he’s busy.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Taehyung promises. “There’s a reason I wanted to leave early. Christmas season gives me a different kind of itch than the one you’ve claimed it gives me.”

Jungkook tilts his chin like he’s about to deny that. “I don’t want to know what you mean.”

Amusement has Taehyung pressing his lips together. “The music, preparing all the Christmas themed food, seeing you in your ugly sweater,” he starts, ignoring Jungkook’s grunt of offense, “it made me think about our first few Christmases together.” He slips his hand over the one Jungkook has on his thigh and squeezes. “And then about us in general.”

Jungkook’s fingers chase his when Taehyung lets go, but he settles his hand back on his thigh when Taehyung grabs the steering wheel, his movements no longer as fidgety. “Is that why you signed me up for all that food? You could have just asked.”

“Not as fun,” Taehyung jokes. “I really didn’t think you would take a break if it wasn’t for work. An actual break, doing something you enjoy.”

For a moment, Jungkook is quiet. Taehyung expects him to deny it, and Taehyung will have to remind him that his first free day the week before, he still ended up going into the office.

But Jungkook sucks on his tongue, something he does when he’s deep in thought, before he finally speaks. “Like our first Christmas. You threatened to burn all my notebooks if I didn’t spend one day doing Christmas-only things with you. We made too much food then too.”

Taehyung smiles at the memory. He really wouldn’t have, but at the time, he was concerned and unsure of how to get Jungkook to take a break. “You remember.”

“Of course,” Jungkook scoffs. “I worked really hard on my notes.” He side-eyes Taehyung as if he’s still offended by that, but a smile breaks through. “We almost burnt the cookies we were making for your mom dancing to that one song -”

“White Christmas.”

“Yeah, White Christmas,” Jungkook repeats so softly, as if he’s lost in the memory of it. “That night it was another kind of white Christmas, if you know what I mean.”

The amusement and surprise hits Taehyung so hard that he jerks and nearly makes their car jerk too. 

Jungkook looks too pleased with himself. “That would’ve been an easier way to convince me to take a break. S’been awhile.”

It has. Taehyung remembers the last time they were intimate, he just doesn’t remember when that was. It feels like months and months ago that either of them have had the time or energy for anything more than kissing. “True. A promise to do all the work and you’d forget work in an instant.”

The groan Jungkook lets out is overdone, but it still makes Taehyung warm. Especially with how he rubs Taehyung’s thigh as he groans. “Love when you take over. That’s an activity I truly enjoy.”

Taehyung doesn’t look at him although he wants to, or he’d hit the gas and speed home. “Since you said you’re not actually tired, I don’t think I will.”

Jungkook forces out a loud yawn. “Please?” He leans in as his hand rubs higher up Taehyung’s thigh. “I’ll tell everyone I lied about my husband hating Christmas.”

As Jungkook’s hand trails teasingly between his legs, Taehyung sucks his bottom lip into his mouth. The silence makes it seem like he’s considering it, but he’s really just trying to focus on the last stretch of road instead of the pressure of Jungkook’s touch. 

Breath hits his ear before lips do, but as soon as it comes, it’s gone. So is Jungkook’s hand. He settles back in his seat as if he wasn’t just trying to convince Taehyung to fuck him.

Not that convincing is needed, but Taehyung enjoys it nonetheless.

“That Christmas,” Taehyung starts, “we fucked on the couch.”

He can see their apartment building, yet it still feels like it’s miles away. Maybe it really has been that long of a time since he and Jungkook have had sex, if he’s suddenly this aroused and impatient. 

“Yes - yeah.”

“You were too impatient, didn’t want to walk the few steps it’d take to get to the bedroom.”

“Your point?” 

Taehyung grins at the hint of annoyance in Jungkook’s voice. He stays quiet until the car is parked before he turns to his husband and leans towards him. “We have a better couch now.”

Jungkook eyes wander over him, lingering at his mouth before his own upper lip curls. “And? Do you want to fuck the couch or me?”

Taehyung flicks Jungkook beneath his chin. “Is that a thing?”

Jungkook’s lips part a few times, his brows furrowing. His words stumble out of his mouth. “I don’t - don’t know. Are you trying to annoy me on purpose?”

With a grin, Taehyung slips out of the car. He grabs Jungkook’s hand as soon as he’s out too and fits his other hand to his cheek. “Being annoying on purpose is your thing, babe.”

Jungkook grips onto Taehyung’s sweater, tugging it enough that it pulls from where it’s tucked into his pants. “Only because I know how much you love me for it.”

It’s true. As much as they both can get on each other’s nerves, there isn’t a single thing about Jungkook that Taehyung isn’t madly in love with. 

Including his impatience. Taehyung coaxes it out with lingering kisses against his jaw and purposeful touches over his hand and arm. Any sign of his earlier nerves or being tired are gone before they’re even halfway up to their floor.

Jungkook presses his body into Taehyung’s, trapping him to the elevator wall the moment the door shuts. He leans in to nip at Taehyung’s bottom lip, but Taehyung playfully dodges it with a turn of his head.

With a sharp exhale from his nose, Jungkook holds Taehyung’s face in place before kissing him. His kiss is just as firm as the press against his body, his tongue immediately prying Taehyung’s lips apart to lick behind Taehyung’s teeth.

Taehyung groans. He fists his hands in Jungkook’s sweater, although he knows Jungkook has no intention to put space between them again. Even if they have to, as the elevator opens to their floor and there could be someone waiting to get on, Taehyung doesn’t want to either. 

“You gonna give me the gourd,” Jungkook murmurs, fingers still fisted in Taehyung’s sweater as they waddle their way down the corridor. “Excuse me, ‘squash.’”

The groan Taehyung lets out now is different, more of a complaint though his chest lights up in fondness and amusement. “Didn’t you use to complain when people used, and I quote, ‘odd words for penis.’”

Jungkook grins shamelessly, an eyebrow arched. “I now see the upside to those silly descriptors.” He runs a finger across Taehyung’s smile before pinching his chin to bring him in for another kiss and halting Taehyung’s attempts to get the door open. “But I still prefer dick.”

Taehyung shakes his head as he gets the door open and pulls Jungkook inside with him. He curses the boots Jungkook wears because they’re usually a bitch to get off, but Jungkook’s on them and quickly pulling at the laces. 

“Yours,” Jungkook clarifies as he pops up and fits a hand to Taehyung’s waist. “Only prefer yours.”

A sigh rumbles in Taehyung’s throat as Jungkook’s hand slips between his legs, his palm only gently pressing down against him as Jungkook’s teasing mouth meets his. It’s enough to make Taehyung’s clothes suddenly feel too tight, too uncomfortable, but it’s Jungkook’s sweater he grabs first to get off. 

It’s been awhile, but Taehyung likes that it feels as if it’s been no time at all. After all these years, Jungkook’s body, his movements, the soft noises that leave his mouth are as familiar to Taehyung as his own but there’s still the urgency, the excitement, the desire, like there used to be when it was new and unfamiliar. 

The couch is different, less worn and sagging beneath their weight, but the memories of Taehyung and Jungkook on that old couch flash through his mind as he settles onto it and Jungkook settles onto him. His legs spread over Taehyung’s waist and fingers slipping through his hair, the pressure of his body and touch both satiating and strengthening the desire pooling in Taehyung’s gut. Taehyung likes how eagerly Jungkook had gotten him down onto the couch so he could get in his lap, although he is a tad disappointed he couldn’t get his pants off first because that only means there’s going to have to be space between them again. 

It seems Jungkook isn’t too interested in space either, once Taehyung’s pulled open his pants and has his hands tugging at them to get past his waist. He stands to take them off, body bent to keep their mouths together until he seems to realize it’s taking him much longer to strip that way.

“Leave work at the door,” Jungkook grumbles as he pulls Taehyung up to his feet and yanks at his pants like he could care less if he rips them. “How about we leave clothes at the door too? New house rule.”

Taehyung bites at his bottom lip as he makes Jungkook’s job harder by running his palms over his shoulders and pressing close so it’s a tight space for Jungkook’s hands to move. “I would enjoy having you naked all of the time. Except, perhaps while cooking.”

Jungkook huffs out in amusement. “If I get burned, you’ll kiss it better.”

With a hum, Taehyung lays a soft kiss over Jungkook’s mouth to confirm. “I got you, baby, but I would prefer to prevent harm than treat it.”

Jungkook seems reluctant to pull back even though they both need to step out of their clothes, but even in the dark, with only the city lights from outside, Taehyung can see how heavy his gaze is as it looks over Taehyung’s body. “Then I should inform you my dick is going to fall off. It needs to be touched to prevent that so, um, if you will.”

A laugh rips from Taehyung, but he doesn’t get a chance to do anything at all as the moment his clothes are gone, Jungkook’s pushing him back to the couch to get onto his lap once more. 

Taehyung runs his hands over his thighs and waist as his mouth moves down the curve of Jungkook’s neck, avoiding touching between his legs because he likes once Jungkook gets more impatient, more squirmy to get some friction and pressure against his cock. He has a feeling it won’t take long this time, as he already feels a bit squirmy himself, but he’s trapped beneath Jungkook’s weight.

A place he likes to be. Planned to be. If Jungkook had been too tired, he would have waited until the next day to get Jungkook here, to recreate a Christmas memory to give Jungkook something to think about when he’s in his office and his brain needs a break from scientific research articles and the headaches that will surely come once Jungkook starts tackling their research methods. 

“Ugh, always ahead of the game,” Jungkook groans as Taehyung digs out a bottle of lube he had planted in the couch cushion before placing a noisy kiss to Taehyung’s neck. “So tired, babe, arms especially, sorry.”

Taehyung grins as he trails his fingers down Jungkook’s spine, admiring how his back arches and a shiver racks through his body from the light touch. “Are you?”

Jungkook’s eyes flutter closed, his head shaking as Taehyung’s fingers reach his ass. He doesn’t tease like he had wanted to, but rather slips them between Jungkook’s legs to prod dryly at his hole. “Your fault I had to carry all those bags.”

“Mm,” Taehyung hums before he moves his mouth to Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook’s fingers slip over the back of his nape, pressing down gently until Taehyung’s teeth snag at his nipple. Jungkook hisses through his teeth, but his tightened grip keeps Taehyung in place as he licks over him in apology. “S’too bad. I wanted you to bend over for me.”

Jungkook doesn’t relax his hold on Taehyung, even when he pulls back. Taehyung looks at him expectantly, as he runs his fingers over Jungkook’s waist to circle around his hardening cock. He can see how Jungkook’s mouth falls open, but he wishes there were more light so he could watch the pleasure grow on his face. 

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, nodding, but he doesn’t move away. Taehyung doesn’t stop touching him either, slowly stroking over his cock untli Jungkook finally pushes up on his knees to move off of him.

Despite wanting him to bend over, Taehyung doesn’t let him move away. He fits a hand to Jungkook’s waist to pull him close, his mouth falling open with a breath against Jungkook’s length. Jungkook groans and cups Taehyung’s cheek, rubbing at the corner of his mouth until Taehyung dips his head to suckle around the head of Jungkook’s cock. 

“Ah, Taehyung,” Jungkook moans, but their position doesn’t allow Taehyung to take more of him into his mouth. He only teases the head, debating whether he should make Jungkook come because of his mouth first, but his craving to be inside of him wins out.

Jungkook seems to read his mind as he’s the one that jerks back first, hissing through his teeth once more as his finger digs into Taehyung’s cheek to keep his head back. “I’ll come too soon.”

Taehyung runs his hand over Jungkook’s thigh and nudges it. As much as he likes Jungkook’s weight against him, he also enjoys having him bent over. He stretches out and adjusts, this couch roomier than their old one. Whenever they were intimate on that one, it was clumsy and rushed and out of desperation, which Taehyung feels now but he wants to savor every moment he can.

Perhaps he can convince Jungkook to stay home during their Christmas break. Just this one time, they can break their no work at home rule and have Jungkook work on his research here rather than going to the office. To be around each other more, but to have Jungkook like this more as well.

“Go on then,” Jungkook grunts, nudging his hips back. Taehyung bites at his bottom lip as he realizes he had just been looking at him, admiring how the city lights look grazing his skin. “Don’t tease, alright? I’m -”

His words quiet as Taehyung knees behind him and grips his own cock to run it between Jungkok’s cheeks. He groans at the feeling, knowing he’ll most likely come too soon as well. He just needs Jungkook to come first.

“You like when I tease,” Taehyung reminds him, grinning as Jungkook rolls his hips back against him the moment his cock touches his skin. “And I aim to please.”

“Oh, is that so?” Jungkook laughs, and it’s probably meant to be sarcastic, but it’s too breathless. “Could’ve fooled me.”

Taehyung grins as he falls back to his calves and searches for the lube. He considers putting it directly on Jungkook’s flushed skin, shocking him with the cool liquid as punishment, but he resists the urge and warms it with his fingers first.

Jungkook still tenses and shudders as if it were cold when Taehyung drags his fingers against him. As much as he does like to tease, he doesn’t, only taking it slow because it has been awhile.

But he knows it’s coming when Jungkook tells him he doesn’t have to because he’s impatient, and it’s tempting to rush because Taehyung’s so aroused he’s struggling not to touch himself, but he’s also enjoying Jungkook clenching around his fingers and the soft noises he makes whenever Taehyung curls his fingers as deep as he can.

“Holy shit, Taehyung,” Jungkook grunts, annoyed sounding. He stretches out before pushing back, rocking down against Taehyung’s fingers. “Hurry up.”

Jungkook crawls away from him, and it’s rushed how he returns. With a hand to Taehyung’s shoulder, Jungkook shows that his arms aren’t tired at all with the strength he uses to get Taehyung back against the couch. Taehyung can’t help his smile, which grows when Jungkook glares at it.

“Shut up,” Jungkook grumbles as he falls back into Taehyung’s lap and latches his mouth to his. “Want you.”

“Yeah?” It comes out breathless. His own impatience hits as he hurriedly spreads the lube over his own cock. He only gets to stroke himself once before Jungkook takes over, his strokes jerky before he lines Taehyung’s cock between his cheeks.

“Yeah,” Jungkook hisses. His mouth falls open against Taehyung’s, their groans mixing as Jungkook slowly sinks onto him.

He’s tight. Taehyung grips hard onto his waist to keep him from rushing, but Jungkook doesn’t. His body tenses and clenches beneath Taehyung’s palms as he moves them over Jungkook’s body, trying to soothe him until he bottoms out.

“Mm,” Jungkook hums, hooking an arm around Taehyung’s neck to press their foreheads together. “I love you.”

Taehyung warms. He nudges Jungkook’s mouth with his own, getting a soft kiss before he whispers it back. “I love you too.”

“Do you - do you remember the first time we slept together?” Jungkook asks, breathless, as he adjusts and shifts. Taehyung returns his hands to his back, knuckles running up and down his spine as he realizes Jungkook needs a moment. “I said I shouldn’t have been surprised your dick was as big of a dick as you are.”

Amusement swells inside of Taehyung. He does remember that. He had been quite smug about it, but also amused then because Jungkook did seem really annoyed by it. “And I told you that I couldn’t have been that bad with how eager you were to spread your legs for me.”

Jungkook’s nose wrinkles. “I didn’t really think you were a dick.”

Taehyung bites on his bottom lip as Jungkook shifts and rocks against him. It’s maddening, but Taehyung keeps his hips planted still and watches as Jungkook’s head falls back as he continues to rock against him. 

“Well, thanks for finally telling me.”

The laugh Jungkook lets out is breathless. He grins, eyes fluttering back opened as he grips onto the couch behind Taehyung’s shoulder. “Thought asking you to marry me would’ve made that clear.”

Taehyung doesn’t get to respond as Jungkook kisses him. He struggles not to snap his hips upwards when Jungkook sucks his tongue into his mouth as he’s so incredibly aroused that a tremble starts to build at the bottom of his spine. But thankfully, Jungkook releases his tongue and finally starts to move. 

“Shit.” Taehyung’s head falls back as Jungkook sinks back down onto his cock. He kisses Jungkook’s bicep, which strains and bulges from him holding himself up, until Jungkook grips his chin and pulls him in for another clumsy kiss. 

It reminds him of their first kiss, although that had been clumsy due to nerves rather than desperation. Taehyung hadn’t seen it coming, although he had thought about it plenty. He had had a crush on Jungkook for awhile, pretty much since they had first met, but he hadn’t realized Jungkook liked him back. 

They had been arguing. Taehyung doesn’t remember about what, but then suddenly, Jungkook’s mouth was on his. It was quick, their teeth knocked together, and Jungkook tried to look aggravated when he pulled away, explaining it was a kiss to shut him up, but he looked as if he was a second away from running.

Taehyung had pulled him in for a proper kiss, and that’s how their arguments would go after that. Jungkook claiming he was kissing him to shut him up, he’d get his hands into Taehyung’s pants while calling him annoying and claim he couldn’t stand him while they spent every free moment they had with each other. 

Jungkook was also the first one to say ‘I love you.’ They had actually been arguing then, or at least, it felt like it was going that way. Taehyung wasn’t just trying to rile Jungkook up, he was genuinely frustrated, but the point he was trying to make left him when Jungkook shoved against him and said, ‘I love you, but you’re really pissing me off.’

He almost ran then too, as soon as he realized he had said it. Taehyung almost let him, as he remembers being so shocked by it, but he’s glad he didn’t.

“I love you,” Taehyung reminds Jungkook as he runs his hands over Jungkook’s thigh to grab onto his hips. Jungkook pants roughly, his breaths hitched with moans that Taehyung wants to be louder. “I love you more.”

“Don’t you even -” Jungkook attempts, brows furrowing as he stiffens his arm and straightens his back, but Taehyung digs his fingers into his skin before he snaps his hips upwards.

It’s a sight to see. Jungkook gasps and leans into him, face buried against the couch as Taehyung fucks into him quickly. His moans seem to rip from his throat with each thrust, his body trembling as he attempts to hold himself over Taehyung.

Taehyung’s breathless himself, but he chases the pleasure that builds inside of him. Jungkook feels so good around him, but Taehyung wants to see him.

“Up,” Taehyung rushes out as he taps Jungkook’s thigh. It’s also clumsy how they maneuver around each other until he gets Jungkook onto his back, a breathless laugh leaving Jungkook’s lips as he lifts his legs to allow Taehyung space between them.

Taehyung tightens his fingers around the base of his cock as he leans over Jungkook and turns on the light by the couch. It causes Jungkook’s eyes to squeeze shut, but he’s still smiling and that creates crinkles around the corners of his eyes. 

Taehyung wants to kiss them, but he resists the urge. He only runs his fingers down the side of Jungkook’s flushed face before he lubes himself up once more before sinking back between Jungkook’s legs.

The smile fades as Taehyung fucks into him hard and quick. Jungkook scrambles to grab the arm of the couch behind his head as Taehyung grabs onto his hips to pull him back onto his cock with each thrust. Sweat pools in the crevices of Jungkook’s torso, his cock leaking steadily and dripping onto his abdomen, the lube sticky and glistening over the back of Jungkook’s thighs. Taehyung bends one back as he drops the other, freeing his hand to get it around Jungkook a moment before Jungkook asks him to.

“Taehyung,” Jungkook moans, his grip tightening on the couch. “Gonna -”

“I got you,” Taehyung pants as he takes Jungkook into his hand and strokes him in time with the roll of his hips. “Want you to come first.”

Jungkook shakes his head, but he doesn’t stop trying to fuck into Taehyung’s fist and rock back down against him. If he tries to glare at him because he knows what Taehyung’s doing, Taehyung isn’t sure, as his head bends back and his eyes slam shut as his body locks up.

The sound he lets out as he comes has Taehyung’s entire body feeling as if it’s on fire. He’s overwhelmed with pleasure watching Jungkook’s, feeling how hard he clenches around him, seeing the come spurt across his belly, hearing the rough gasps he lets out with each one of Taehyung’s uncoordinated thrusts.

Taehyung leans over him, needing his mouth on his own. It’s barely a kiss as Taehyung’s breathing too hard and Jungkook’s struggling to, but it gets Jungkook’s hands on him. His arms, wrapping tight around his back in a way he always needs the moment before he comes too. 

Jungkook groans and attempts to kiss him properly when Taehyung finally does. His mouth moving over the corner of Taehyung’s agape one, his hips rocking as Taehyung spills into him. Jungkook doesn’t loosen his hold even when Taehyung heavies against him and releases Jungkook’s leg so it falls over the edge of the couch. It can’t be comfortable with the pillow tucked beneath his back, but Jungkook refuses to let Taehyung move at first.

When he finally does, it isn’t far. He only allows Taehyung to pull out of him before he gets onto his side and keeps Taehyung on the couch beside him.

“I want us to stay home this year,” Taehyung says, still trying to catch his breath. “During break. We can make the gaming room into an office. We haven’t used it in years.”

Jungkook’s brows furrow as he runs a hand over Taehyung’s cheek. “I was expecting something about the great sex, not work talk.”

Taehyung laughs. “It was great. I knew if you got impatient enough, I could get you to do all the work.” Jungkook stiffens, the realization slowly entering his face. “I almost let you, but I did want to make it up to you.”

It’s in his eyes, he’s ready to complain, but Taehyung shifts so he’s hovering over him and kisses him before he can. “Can we? Try it out this year? Or at least, work from home a few days out of the week.”

Jungkook sinks into the couch, looking over him before he nods. “The sex’s that good you want to retire and just bang all the time?”

Taehyung snuggles his face into the curve of Jungkook’s neck and nips at his skin gently. “I do love you, you know.”

Jungkook runs a hand over him before he settles it against Taehyung’s lower back. “And I love you more, you know.”

Just like the first time, Jungkook kisses Taehyung quiet the moment he opens his mouth to argue that. 

*&*

Winter break goes by too quickly. Before Jungkook knows it, the holidays are over and he’s back in his office. It’s probably a good thing because while he was more productive than he thought he would be from home, he definitely wasn’t as productive as he is when he’s in the office.

And it’s silly, but Jungkook missed waking up to Taehyung beside him. It wasn’t until they started staying home that he realized he doesn’t get to do that much. Even on their days off, neither one of them is the type to just lay in bed. Taehyung made him do that overbreak, and he really enjoyed something so simple. 

But Jungkook also has a feeling Taehyung did it because if Taehyung wins the bet, he wins a vacation. Taehyung did a good job at making Jungkook also want a vacation, with just the two of them, no work. Even if all they did was lay in bed together. 

It almost works. Jungkook goes back and forth with himself about throwing the bet or not while he sets up in his office and almost convinces himself it’s a good idea before he’s interrupted. 

The door slams open. Jungkook jumps so much that the papers he had been rearranging go flying off the desk he stands behind.

“How was your break?”

Jimin’s glaring at him. His question is a nice thing to ask a coworker after a few weeks off, but Jimin says it like he’s accusing Jungkook of taking a break. Or enjoying it. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know how to respond. He can’t do anything but stare at Jimin, who clearly doesn’t look happy to see him. 

“Hm?” Jimin asks as he crosses his arms. “I came to check on you a few times, but you weren’t here. I don’t have your number.”

Jungkook glances at his desk as if it contains all of the answers. It may for his students, but it’s no help to him now. “You have my email.”

Jimin glares further. “You didn’t answer my emails.”

Right. Shit. Jungkook remembers seeing one, but he could’ve sworn he responded to it. “My husband insisted I work from home during break. We usually don’t do that unless absolutely necessary, but he’s worried I’m overworking myself and wanted to keep an eye on me, I’m sure.”

Does Jimin’s expression soften? It should, in concern. As the good friend that he is, but it doesn’t seem to. “Was he on break too?”

What? Shit. Jungkook quickly starts to pick up his discarded papers as he thinks of something because there’s no denying how accusing Jimin’s tone, his expression, every bit of his body language is. “He works from home.”

“But you’re not allowed to?”

Jungkook straightens and shakes a stack of papers at Jimin. “What is this? What does it matter? Why do you seem so angry? I’m sorry about the email, I thought I responded.”

Jimin takes a step forward, but doesn’t help with the mess he accidentally caused. “Did he like his Christmas gift?”

What? Jungkook dips beneath the desk to grab the one paper that’s under it, but pretends as if there’s a handful as his brain racks in an attempt to understand why Jimin says that like an accusation too. 

Is Taehyung wearing the jewelry Jungkook bought for him today? He’s pretty sure Taehyung hasn’t taken it off since Christmas, but he can’t confirm because Taehyung had insisted Jungkook sleep in and was leaving the house just as Jungkook was waking up. 

“I decided not to get him anything,” Jungkook lies as he reveals his face again. JImin doesn’t look to believe him, but how could he possibly know if he’s telling the truth or not. “Christmas hater, remember? The last rash was quite the nightmare. I didn’t want to put him through that again.”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Sure, yeah, but you were pretty stressed about not having a gift idea for him.”

Jungkook just stares at Jimin, still kneeling behind his desk. Taehyung started hiding his jewelry beneath his clothes after the sugar baby and sugar daddy rumors, but Jimin must have seen it. Somehow. The only time Jimin has looked at him like this is when he thought he was having an affair with Taehyung and scolding him for it. “What is this about?”

Jimin peers over him and turns as if double checking he shut the door behind him. When he speaks, his words are sharp and whispered. “Taehyung just happens to be wearing the same exact jewelry set I suggested you buy your husband.”

A weird laugh leaves Jungkook’s mouth. “Wow. That’s so crazy and ironic. His husband must have as great a taste as you, Jimn-ssi.”

Jimin rolls his eyes again instead of being appreciative of such a nice compliment. “I was nervous about losing my career dating someone I was engaged to and dating before he even started here,” he goes on, still whispering. “Having an affair with your coworker is even worse, Jungkook-ah.” 

At that moment, a moment too late, Jungkooks’ phone vibrates with a warning from Taehyung that Jimin is on his way. On a rampage about their alleged affair. Jimin’s eyes rip to the phone, but Jungkook hides it behind the desk to tell Taehyung it’s too late.

He considers scolding Taehyung because clearly he took his sweet time to warn him, but JImin taps his foot loudly until Jungkook’s attention is back on him. 

“This is serious,” Jimin says firmly. “Listen, I love the both of you, but it’s fucking stupid. Not only is it just fucking wrong to do that to your husband, if this comes out -” Jimin stutters, hands raking through his perfectly combed hair. “What’s that magazine you’re trying to submit your work into? The esteemed one? They’re not going to take you.”

Quickly, Jungkook grabs Jimin’s hand to get him to stop. To stop going on, to stop pacing. Jimin looks like he might push him, but he doesn’t.

“I’m not having an affair,” Jungkook insists, pleading. “I would never do that to my husband.”

The glare doesn’t relent. “You really suck at lying, Jungkook-ah.”

He really doesn’t, Jungkook thinks. “No, I don’t. I told you I didn’t eat all of your crackers and you believed me, but that was a lie.”

Is there a twitch to Jimin’s lips? Jungkook swears there is. He grabs harder onto Jimin, hoping it really is the start of a smile. “It was really obvious you ate them, Jungkook-ah, I just knew you’d be too stubborn to admit it.”

Shit, really? Jungkook opens his mouth to argue that is not true at all, but he freezes instead when the door opens and Taehyung steps in with one eyebrow arched. He is much too calm, much too collected. Not as if he raced here to get Jimin, to protect his husband from the rampage that he must have just gone through himself, but to watch it instead. 

He closes the door quietly and just stands there, arms crossed to show off the bracelet that matches the necklace hanging over his tie.

What the hell? Jungkook didn’t tell Taehyung that Jimin gave him the idea for the gift because he didn’t want to admit he forgot, even though Taehyung’s more aware of how forgetful he’s been lately than even he is. But it’s unlike him to wear his necklace that way. It doesn’t look right, and Taehyung isn’t one to show off jewelry, sugar rumors or not. 

“You already get flustered enough when defending your field,” Jimin goes on as if Taehyung hadn’t just appeared. “When people don’t understand when you use theory to explain something and they think you’re justifying it instead. You almost quit that one time, remember? They’re going to shred you to pieces, and you can’t really blame them for that. Even I want to knock the both of you for this.” Jimin sends his glare to Taehyung too, but Taehyung’s face remains as it is. “So quit it, right?” 

Jungkook grabs onto Jimin’s hands, ready to plead with him but he’s distracted by how Taehyung’s blank, calm expression slowly shifts into an amused one. It isn’t funny because one, them having an affair is so outrageous that he didn’t think it would affect anything, and two, because he’s starting to feel really bad for not crushing Jimin’s suspicions the moment he suggested it.

He also feels bad that he’s conflicted, unsure if he should calm and be honest with someone he considers to be a good friend or not say a word because he’ll get a new car if he wins the bet.

If only he can get Taehyung to say it first, he’ll still win. 

“Jimin-ah,” Taehyung calls as he gently cups Jimin’s shoulder to pull him from Jungkook. Finally. “What’s this about? I couldn’t quite understand you with all the stammering before you rushed out of my office.”

Jimin flicks the necklace. “You kept mentioning how much you liked this set, so when Jungkook mentioned that he hadn’t gotten anything for his husband yet, I suggested it and said I had gotten it from your wish-list. I set him up because I’m tired of you two lying to me.”

Oh. Oh. Jungkook doesn’t look at Jimin but Taehyung, glaring as he starts to understand why Taehyung looks so chill and amused.

And pleased. 

“Oh, you shit,” Jungkook grunts as he pushes Taehyung’s arm. “You did this, didn’t you?”

Taehyung raises his hand. “I don’t know what you mean, lover.”

Jungkook’s aware that his mouth has fallen open, but he can’t seem to close it. 

Jimin definitely said it was on Taehyung’s wishlist, but that didn’t even register to him. It was pointless for Jimin to mention that to him because he wasn’t supposed to know that Jungkook was worried about getting something for Taehyung. 

And Taehyung doesn’t have a wish-list. Jungkook really wished he did, for the years he’s stumped on what to get him, but he doesn’t. Taehyung doesn’t like telling people what to get him, so when Jungkook asked him for a list before, he either never gave him one or put silly, inexpensive items on it.

Not a jewelry set that was expensive enough that Jungkook’s refused to tell Taehyung where he had bought it from because the reason they have a bet to win either a new car or a vacation is because they can only afford one. Jungkook can’t quite complain about not getting a car when he has a problem with buying his husband really pretty, but expensive things. 

“This is cheating,” Jungkook finally manages as he turns on his feet because he can’t look at Taehyung’s face. It isn’t cheating, is it? It’s skill. He groans loudly. “How did you know I was going to ask Jimin for a gift idea for you?”

The lift of Taehyung’s brow feels more like a challenge than anything, but at least his features soften after a moment. “You usually start prying around for gift ideas the month before Christmas. You weren’t, so I assumed you didn’t realize it was coming up and you’d forget. Which would be fine, but I knew you’d beat yourself up over it.”

A strange noise leaves Jungkook’s throat. “I wouldn’t forget,” he lies. He thinks his tone changes pitch, making it obvious, but he isn’t sure. 

“And Jimin and I like a lot of the same things,” Taehyung goes on as if he hadn’t heard him. “You know that. I’d figure you’d ask him eventually for some idea, but if you didn’t, then I’d get you wrapped in bows again. Win-win, baby.”

Jungkook turns his glare to Jimin, but he looks just as dumbfounded as Jungkook feels. “You were in on this?”

“I don’t know,” Jimin says slowly. He crosses his arms as he looks between the two of them before finally settling back on Jungkook. “You didn’t ask me for a gift idea for Taehyung. I thought I was planting that seed in your head, though.”

Shit. Did Jungkook say that outloud? He shakes his head, but he’s now afraid to say anything more and sink himself even further.

But he has to say something. He can practically see the wheels churning in Jimin’s mind before he reaches out and grabs Taehyung’s hand. He inspects it closely as he blindly goes for Jungkook’s hand too, but Jungkook twirls away so he can’t get a hold of it.

“Okay, we’re having an affair,” Jungkook admits as he quickly points between himself and Taehyung. “Super, super secret, sweaty affair.”

Taehyung’s brows push together. “Sweaty?”

Jungkook ignores him. “It’s been going on for a while. Can’t stop it. He’s just like, so hot, you know?” Sweat is actually starting to build across his nape. “Look at him. Yoongi who? Get you a man that…that really just - just pisses you off so much. Great sex, isn’t that what you said?”

The amusement is too loud on Taehyung’s face as Jimin gives him a deadpan look. 

“Really great sex, you were right,” Jungkook keeps going, unsure if he can get his mouth to stop. His brain is already whispering to him that he’s failed, but his mouth doesn’t seem to be listening. “I didn’t have a gift for my husband, but I couldn’t get him jewelry, you see. He’s allergic to that too, and with all the rashes he already gets -”

Taehyung shakes his head, warning Jungkook too that he’s making it worse, Jungkook sees it, but he can’t stop. 

“How long?” Jimin asks, and Jungkook almost breathes out in relief as the words stop once he’s interrupted, but he doesn’t have an answer to that. He tries to come up with one quickly, but it’s Taehyung that responds first.

“Oh, I don’t know. Since college, right?” 

Taehyung grins as he looks at Jungkook as if to confirm this. He’s much too pleased with himself. Even more so when Jimin’s face lights up.

The bulb going off in his head is so noticeable that Jungkook swears he can hear it click on. The moment it does, Taehyung lifts his hand and wiggles his fingers. The hand where he only wears his wedding ring. 

“Oh.” Jimin presses a hand to his mouth and playfully pushes Jungkook by the shoulder. “Oh, you’re fucking kidding me.”

Jungkook nods. “Yeah, this is all a joke. Definitely a -”

“Are you two fucking married?” Jimin interrupts as he whips his head back and forth between him and Taehyung. “Married as like, to each other?”

Jungkook spins on his toes, wanting to fall to his knees, but he gets to his desk chair instead to press his face into the desk. 

“You’re married,” Jimin says again, surely looking at Taehyung. Jungkook doesn’t want to know if he nods, the disappointment and failure flooding him quickly. He’s always been a good swimmer, but he’s considering letting himself drown it. Maybe then, Taehyung won’t be so pleased with himself and feel bad instead. “Holy shit, that’s your husband.”

That’s his enemy, truly, Jungkook thinks when Taehyung laughs. “Have you not noticed after all this time that our rings are the exact same?”

“What is happening?” Jimin laughs oddly. “Why would you let me think you’re having an affair?”

Jungkook groans loudly. He doesn’t want to hear anymore. His heart is shattering in his chest, his dreams of driving the open road dying, and his husband, love of his life, is enjoying it. 

“We both told you we weren’t having an affair,” Taehyung says. “We weren’t letting you think it. Well, I wasn’t. Jungkook might’ve so he’d win the bet.”

There’s a soft thud as Jimin laughs wildly again. “Bet?” 

“Remember when Jungkook said he’d be able to hide a relationship better than you? This was him proving it. Which, to be fair, he did do a better job. I was rooting for you though.”

Jungkook glances up, just to punish himself with Taehyung’s grin for not realizing he was walking into Taehyung’s trap. Jimin’s still staring at them in disbelief. 

“Blame Jungkook’s need to make everything into something he can win,” Taehyung says as he comes over to the desk and runs a hand through Jungkook’s hair. “Don’t feel bad babe. I’ll make it up to you.”

Jungkook mimes repeating him mockingly. “Don’t gloat. It’s unappealing.”

“Really? I think it’s cute when you do.”

Jimin huffs out a noise, which still sounds like he’s full of disbelief. “Oh, this is odd. I have to tell Yoongi.”

He practically runs out, making sure to shut the door behind him. Jungkook places his face back to the desk.

“Smile,” Taehyung says as he massages the back of Jungkook’s neck. “I win a vacation. You do realize that means you also win a vacation? I’ll even let you pick the place we go because I don’t care where we go.”

Jungkook groans again. “That’s not the point.”

He doesn’t pick his head up to say it, his words muffled, but Taehyung laughs anyway.

“Just pick somewhere we can drive to,” Taehyung goes on, and Jungkook has half a mind to rip up and remind him not to gloat, to not shove it in his face because he’s been working on this for some time, but he freezes instead. “That way we can enjoy our new car too.”

What?

Jungkook doesn’t move as he processes Taehyung’s words. He must be messing with him. He flies up, narrowing his eyes at Taehyung, whose smile now is warm instead of teasing.

“We pick it up at the end of the week,” Taehyung explains, his smile growing. He produces a rolled up paper in his back pocket that he hands to Jungkook as proof he isn’t messing with him.

Sometimes, when Jungkook’s spent far too much time writing, the words seem to blend together and blur. He’s having that trouble now as he tries to process what he holds. 

“You - we agreed.” He licks his lips, frowning. “We agreed we couldn’t afford both.”

Taehyung shrugs. “Having another car is more practical so I’ve been putting money aside and I did some editorial work to get some extra cash. Plus, I never cared about going somewhere. I just want a week, you and me, no work.” He prods Jungkook in the chest gently. “None.” 

Oh. Jungkook lurches forward to press a kiss to Taehyung’s cheek. “I thought you wanted to travel.”

“We have plenty of time to do that,” Taehyung says as he grabs Jungkook’s cheeks and squishes them. “Plus, this kind of vacation is free.”

Jungkook groans in content. “And you know I love free stuff.”

Taehyung nods, his smile stretching into his cheeks. “Bet or not, I was going to convince you to take a vacation. Especially after break, I realized how much I miss how often we would spend all of our time together.”

For a moment, he has forgotten that Taehyung and him are not only on school grounds, but in Jungkook’s office. He almost kisses Taehyung on the mouth although he has the craving to keep kissing and kissing until his mouth falls off, but he’s stopped by a quick knock on the door before it opens.

Jungkook rips away from Taehyung, who perches himself on the edge of Jungkook’s desk to add to the space between them.

The warmth in Jungkook’s body has him wondering if he looks flushed and guilty. 

“Hey,” Namjoon says. He glances at his watch. “I’m only a few minutes early, but I can come back.”

Oh. Right. Shit. Jungkook almost grabs Taehyung and rips him out of the office. “Professor Kim and I were just discussing um, something that’s now over. I’ll see you some time. Again. In my lifetime, probably.”

Taehyung presses his lips tightly together, but the amusement is loud on his face. He bows his head towards Namjoon. “Have a good break, Professor?”

Namjoon looks between them, mouth opened, before he nods. “Uh, yeah, you?” 

“Almost didn’t want to return,” Taehyung teases. He steps behind Namjoon, offering Jungkook a wink before he slides out of the office. 

“Um, sit,” Jungkook says quickly before Namjoon can mention if he noticed anything weird. Like Taehyung smiling bright and shiny in the office of his arch nemesis. “I’ve been really looking forward to hearing your opinion on my paper so far. Thank you, by the way, for reading over it.”

Namjoon clears his throat awkwardly. “Um, well, I tried to,” he starts as he pulls out his laptop and positions it on Jungkook’s desk. “It seemed to just be notes at first, um, but as I was reading, I - I wasn’t sure if you sent me the right document, Professor.”

The happiness and excitement Jungkook had rushes out of his body, the dread and nerves quickly taking over. Oh no, oh no. This is one of his nightmares ever since college when he was writing smut instead of doing his homework. He’s usually so careful when sending documents, double checking them after attaching them to an email and double checking the document name before sharing it like he’s afraid somehow he clicked on a new tab, opened another document, and is accidentally sending the wrong one. 

“Or at least, some of this seems out of place.” Namjoon laughs awkwardly as he turns the computer and points to a long paragraph. It takes a quick scan for Jungkook to recognize it as Taehyung’s rant about evolutionary psychology.

Which ends with, ‘but either way, I love you so much baby.’

Oh. Some sound leaves Jungkook’s mouth, but he doesn’t know what it is. He grabs Namjoon’s laptop, almost ripping it from his hands, to ‘x’ out of the screen. “Oh, Professor, I’m - that’s embarrassing, I’m sorry. I - it’s so funny, actually.” Jungkook holds his stomach as he tries to laugh genuinely. “My husband hijacked my document um, as a joke, I meant to send you the new one I created.”

Namjoon’s face lights up, but he doesn’t laugh. “It was interesting to read, actually. Given some of the points, it almost sounded as if Professor Kim Taehyung wrote it. He even mentioned Professor Taehyung’s work throughout.”

Jungkook laughs again, this time, with panic laced through it because Taehyung did mention his own work, and he did so by referring to it as his own. Namjoon has to know Taehyung wrote that part and is just being nice. “Oh, ah, maybe. I do read Taehyung’s work, um, and talk about it. Just don’t tell him that.”

With shaky fingers, Jungkook tries his best to send Namjoon the right document but he worries it’s the wrong one again even though he checks and double checks it. 

Shit. They aren’t going to get a new car, but they’ll definitely get a vacation. They’ll have plenty of time at home once they’re both unemployed. 

“It’s okay, Professor Jeon.” Namjoon reaches over to pat Jungkook’s hand before pausing and slowly retreating. “Your secret is safe with me.”

Jungkook raises a brow, his heart now thumping so hard surely Namjoon can see the pulse in his neck. “What?”

The smile Namjoon wears is proud as he takes back his laptop to open the new document. “The war between you two is entertaining to students, but I can see you actually respect each other’s work quite a bit. I’m guessing you two are actually friends, no? I would guess since university, as you went to the same one?”

Oh. Relief washes through Jungkook. “Yeah, you’re right, sir. Ha.” He rolls his eyes at himself. “My bestie Tae. Biffel, um, as the kids say.”

Jungkook wants to slump in his chair the moment Namjoon changes the subject, now exhausted, but he’s trying to figure out how to unshare the document with Namjoon before Taehyung gets on it again. 

He figures it out, thankfully, in time for Taehyung’s next message to appear at the top of the document.

‘Thought of some other things we could do in a new car as spacious as this one. Care to hear?’

Jungkook squeaks and closes his laptop. Taehyung must have really enjoyed their time off together, even though working was allowed, because he normally wouldn’t message him such a thing while he’s in his office.

With Kim Namjoon.

Oh. Jungkook’s nerves dissipate as realization dawns upon him. Taehyung sent that on purpose, so he’d get embarrassed in front of Namjoon.

Jungkook flips open the laptop again and responds beneath Taehyung’s writings.

‘I’m getting you back for this.’

In seconds, a kissy face emoji appears as if Taehyung has had it copied and ready to paste. ‘Enough space so you can be on your back is what I was thinking. Love you. Have a good day at work x’

Jungkook grits his teeth. God does Taehyung frustrate him and challenge him and annoy him sometimes, but Jungkook loves him more than he’s ever loved anyone.