Chapter Text
Shigeru likes having everything in order, because order means control, and control means staying out of trouble. It also means he’s not a failure or a disappointment.
Growing up with strict parents, he had to learn it the hard way – they gave him hell over an average grade once, and he still gets chills when he remembers it. Living with two almost-genius brothers, and being constantly compared with them doesn’t help either.
So he’s worked all his life to become exactly what his parents expect from him: a respectable young man, with top grades, great manners, and a spotless appearance. Except it’s really just a facade to keep them happy and out of his business. A mask he wears to protect himself even if it’s exhausting.
Volleyball practice is the only time Shigeru allows himself to loosen up. Most of his friends are there, and he doesn’t need to pretend around them. Besides, it doesn’t matter if he’s loud, messy or makes mistakes when he’s at the gym, because everyone else is doing the same – and they wouldn’t care either way.
Somehow, Shigeru feels at ease when he’s surrounded by all that chaos. But everything is about to change.
For today’s practice, the coaches and Oikawa split the team in random pairs to play two-on-two matches. Nothing out of the ordinary, until Shigeru gets paired with Kyoutani.
Shigeru groans and leans in closer to Watari who’s sitting next to him. “Do you really think this is random? Because I don’t.” he hisses.
As if on cue, Oikawa meets his gaze from across the gym and winks, confirming his suspicions. Shigeru narrows his eyes at him and shakes his head in disapproval.
But he understands Oikawa’s reasoning: Shigeru and Kyoutani are supposed to be the team’s next ‘big duo’ and they need to take every chance to work together before that happens. It’s just … inconvenient.
He really tries to focus on the positive side, but Kyoutani doesn’t help. Shigeru accidentally makes eye contact with him once, and Kyoutani scowls at him. He immediately senses trouble.
Every match lasts only one set, keeping everyone on edge. Shigeru watches with growing unease that even the more experienced players are struggling to keep up, but a small part of him feels comforted knowing he won’t be the only one.
His stomach drops when it’s finally their turn and realizes they’re up against Hanamaki and Oikawa. Shigeru tries to push aside the thought of their three-year advantage, but with Kyoutani glaring holes at his side it’s rather difficult.
The match starts with one of Oikawa’s serves aimed at Shigeru. But he reacts one second too late. The ball grazes his arm, hits the floor behind him, and the first point is lost.
“Fuck!” Kyoutani curses under his breath and clenches his fists.
“Come on, it’s just one point!” Shigeru snaps at him and gets in position to receive the next serve.
As the match progresses, they take some points back, but the other duo is clearly more skilled. Kyoutani gets more impatient and more reckless as the point difference grows. Shigeru also feels his patience thinning with Kyoutani’s endless criticism and muttered curses.
“Too low.”
“Too close to the net.”
“Your timing’s off.”
“Pay attention!”
“Your tosses suck!”
“You’ll make us lose!”
The final whistle comes as a blessing. The set probably doesn’t last too long, but to Shigeru it felt like an eternity. 25-20 isn’t a massive defeat – it could’ve been so much worse considering how out of sync they were during the match – and that’s exactly why it stings even more.
“Damn it!” Kyoutani yells. The outburst startles a few of their teammates.
“Tch. What a clown.” Shigeru mutters to himself, side-eyeing Kyoutani.
“Cheer up, Kyouken-chan!” Oikawa says with a grin. “That’s the whole point of practice, remember?”
Kyoutani ignores him and turns to Shigeru with an almost predatory look. “It’s your fault!”
“What?!” Shigeru clenches his fists and instinctively steps closer. “My fault? Are you kidding me? Listen, you–”
The whistle cuts in sharp, and the coach is suddenly at their side gesturing them apart. “Yahaba! Kyoutani! Move along, we don’t have time for your lovers’ spat!”
Kyoutani fixes Shigeru with one last icy glare before storming off the gym. He doesn’t get too far, though, because Shigeru grabs him by the shoulder.
“Hey! Where do you think you’re going? Practice isn’t over,” Shigeru says.
Kyoutani stops for just one second before shaking off Shigeru’s hand and walking away.
“Don’t worry about it, Yahaba-chan. He needs to cool off.” Oikawa wraps an arm around Shigeru as they clear the court to rejoin the others.
Shigeru knows it’s not his fault they lost – not entirely at least – but Kyoutani’s words replay in his head over and over again. They leave him with a tiny hint of doubt and he hates himself for that.
By the end of practice, Shigeru is mentally drained. He’s too out of it to realize that Watari has been talking to him, until he sees fingers snapping in front of his face.
“Huh?” Shigeru blinks at him, still in a daze.
“Shigeru, you’ve been zoning out for a while,” Watari says, “That usually means you’re overthinking. Stop it!”
Watari’s ability to read him still amazes Shigeru, sometimes it’s scary. But he’s very grateful to have a good friend who truly cares about him.
“Yeah… sorry.” Shigeru exhales slowly, and his body suddenly feels heavier. “You’re probably right. Let’s go home.”
“Of course I’m right. Wanna grab some snacks first?” Watari says with a wide grin.
The two boys with a few other teammates stop by the nearest convenience store on their way home, but Shigeru notices that his wallet is missing. Since the school is not too far, he decides to go back and see if he left it in his locker.
He expects the club room to be empty, as he saw most of his teammates leave. So, when Shigeru opens the door and finds the last person he wanted to see, he almost jumps out of his skin.
Kyoutani seems to be as startled as him – and a bit flustered – but he quickly hides it with his signature scowl. “What’re you looking at?”
Shigeru immediately looks away when he realizes he’s staring and goes straight to his locker, completely ignoring Kyoutani’s question. The sooner he gets out of there the better.
“What. You’re mute now?” Kyoutani says while buttoning his shirt.
Shigeru finds his wallet and a textbook he needs for later, shoves them in his backpack and heads for the exit.
“Where the hell are you going? I wasn’t done!” Kyoutani barks at him.
Shigeru stops at the door and turns slowly to look at Kyoutani over his shoulder. “Really? Too bad, I don’t have time to deal with whatever this is.”
Kyoutani stomps towards Shigeru, grabs his forearm and drags him back. “You sure?”
“Why are you picking a fight now? Let go!” Shigeru says. He tries to tug his arm away but that only makes Kyoutani’s grip tighten.
“That’s it? You only got guts when everyone’s watching?” Kyoutani says.
Shigeru feels like the situation is spiraling out of his control, and that terrifies him. But his expression remains neutral to not show any weaknesses in front of Kyoutani. That would be fatal.
“Of course not. I just pick my battles.” Shigeru says. After a brief stare-down, his lips curl into a smug smirk. “Why are you so desperate to keep me here? You like me or something?”
Kyoutani’s eyes darken, and he steps closer to Shigeru. “Say that again,” he hisses.
“Why? Are you deaf? I know you heard me the first time.”
Kyoutani grabs the front of Shigeru’s uniform and slams him against the nearest lockers. The impact knocks the wind out of Shigeru and the metal rattles under his weight.
“You think it’s a damn joke?” Kyoutani says through gritted teeth as he moves in closer. “It’s not. So quit brushing me off and listen.”
“Fine, go ahead. It’s not like I can go anywhere.” Shigeru says flatly.
“See, that’s my problem with you!” Kyoutani snaps. “You look down on everyone. Like you’re too good to waste your time, but you know what–”
Shigeru stops listening mid rant, his focus drifting elsewhere. Kyoutani has him pinned against the wall with so little space between their bodies, that Shigeru feels … funny. He wonders if Kyoutani realizes what he’s doing and how compromising it looks.
He had never paid much attention to Kyoutani’s face until now. Since there’s nowhere else to look, Shigeru lets his eyes wander. He notices that Kyoutani’s hair looks surprisingly soft, and his eyes are even more intense up close. Also, his smell is oddly comforting. Too bad his permanent frown and awful attitude don’t match his good looks, it’s such a shame–
Shigeru’s eyes widen when he realizes his thoughts are drifting to weird places. His heart starts hammering in his chest, his breathing becomes irregular and his face feels too warm all at once. And now Kyoutani is eyeing him with an unreadable expression. It suddenly becomes too much. “L-Look, it’s getting late a-and I–”
None of them hear the footsteps or the voices coming closer until it’s too late. Oikawa and Iwaizumi stand at the entrance, blinking at them with a mix of confusion, embarrassment and a hint of amusement.
“Um… Iwa-chan, I think we should leave…”
“Yeah… Good idea, Shittykawa…”
Feeling a rush of adrenaline, Shigeru pushes Kyoutani off him and heads for the door, bowing quickly to his upperclassmen as he squeezes past them. He leaves the club room so fast he doesn’t get to see Kyoutani turned into a blushing mess as he clumsily gathers his belongings.
Once he’s at the bus stop and far enough from the school, Shigeru bends over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath.
He lets out a long, frustrated noise. It earns him a few stares from the people nearby, that he chooses to ignore. “What the hell just happened?” he whines pitifully as he plops down on the bench.
Shigeru’s heartbeat eventually returns to normal, but there’s an odd sensation fluttering in his gut that stays with him until he falls asleep later that night.