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It wasn’t the first festival Conan had ever gone to, but it was his first summer festival, so obviously the Detective Boys dragged him to every corner of the fair. And of course Haibara suffered the same treatment, although Ayumi certainly wouldn’t be as rough with her as the boys were with Conan.
And because this was the first time those two had ever gone to a summer festival, Shinichi could see the first time’s excitement and bewilderment from both of those six-to-seven-year-old’s faces the whole time they were there.
Haibara had always lived in the United States for the first few years of her life, and when she went back to Japan, she had already become the Organization’s full-time researcher. So it was understandable that Miyano Shiho never had a chance to enjoy a holiday festival.
As for Conan…
Clearly, a clone that was made for screening and experimentation wouldn’t have any reason to be given freedom, let alone allowed to play in the outside world.
So being dragged around to all kinds of games, getting stuffed by all kinds of foods by his peers might be exhausting for Conan, but that would be better than staying in one room all the time, trying to finish all kinds of tests in order to not be forgotten the very next day.
Personally, Shinichi wasn’t very thrilled about babysitting a bunch of kids in a very overcrowded festival. Haibara did take on the role of watching over the kids, in theory, but Shinichi had doubts whether a babysitter shorter than the two kids she was babysitting over would be of any effect. Ran and Sonoko were already partially immersed in their own happy world. Fortunately, the professor had helped Shinichi to some extent.
But he surely couldn’t help him from managing what the kids were going to buy.
- Conan, that’s the third cotton candy. - Shinichi grumbled with a flat tone. - Your teeth don’t need to be replaced sooner than they should be.
- At least the sugar is good for the brain. - Conan argued. - And my teeth are replaceable, but the brain’s the most essential organ in the human body, doesn’t it need to be supplied with energy from sugar ?
- Aside from the brain, health and appearance are also important. - Haibara added. - But if you don’t mind that glycation in sugar would accelerate skin aging and weaken the immune system, then perhaps, pay no attention to your brother.
Conan had no more words and could only make a displeased look. And of course the fact that Shinichi took the chance while he was making that face at Haibara to take a piece of the cotton candy wouldn’t cause a problem. It was the privilege of being a babysitter, and Shinichi decided he deserved it.
The outing went quite smoothly. Shinichi was quick to use a balloon to locate Ayumi’s whereabouts in case the kids went out of range. Ran’s unnecessary exceptional gambling skill with the game-of-chance stalls was enough to treat the five kids to another round of snacks - which would be annihilated the most by Genta and the least by the professor under Haibara’s supervision. Sonoko also tried her hand at goldfish scooping to show off to Mitsuhiko. And even small things like Ran had helped Haibara adjust her kimono sash; Shinichi could see the seven-year-old’s face was much warmer than usual.
The group soon arrived at the best spot to watch the fireworks, a location Shinichi had researched beforehand. While everyone excitedly gazed at the dazzling fireworks in the sky, Shinichi noticed Conan shuffled close to his feet like he was hiding, just like in the early days when the boy was still fearful of everything and always sought safety behind Shinichi. The loud, continuous explosions of the fireworks must have frightened Conan. Even though he had seen fireworks on screen, this was the first time he had seen them in real life.
Shinichi gently knelt down and patted Conan’s back, then pulled the boy closer to him. Conan didn’t have the mind to refuse. He gingerly held Shinichi’s sleeve with his fingers and continued watching the fireworks.
As the light show faded into wisps of finality smoke in the sky, festival-goers began heading home. Shinichi and his seven-year-old group, however, lingered a little longer, as the children decided they hadn’t yet seen all the toy stalls that had been too crowded earlier. This time, the adults allowed the children to throw balls and shoot corks as they pleased, since only children had the energy left after being packed in such a stuffy, hustled crowd all afternoon.
Of course, only the other three children were still excited with playing, with Conan occasionally joining in the fun while Haibara already yawned repeatedly the rest of the way. But unlike the others’ innocent, joyful excitement for the rewards, Conan was simply playing for the experience and to fit in with his peers. It was only because those childish toys weren’t his thing; with a room full of detective novels at home, it was difficult to convince Conan to play pretend and roleplay as Kamen Yaiba.
Until Shinichi noticed Conan's eyes were fixed on a shooting stall with prizes.
While the other children were busy trying to toss the rings onto the stakes, Shinichi saw Conan staring intently at a white plush rabbit with blue eyes, almost as big as himself, hanging on a gift shelf. It seemed to be the most expensive prize, corresponding to a 500-point score sheet placed right next to it. The game at the stall was a shooting game with various colored boards of different sizes -each representing a different color on the scoreboards- dotted with white powder that was hastily wiped away, indicating each player’s shooting performance for scoring purposes. And for the color red of the 500-point score, Shinichi scanned the board for a while until he found the tiny red dots, probably no larger than a wine cork.
No wonder no one ever claimed the rabbit.
- The 500-point white rabbit, yeah ? - Shinichi leaned down and whispered to Conan, making the boy jump. - You like it ?
- Oh no, no no ! - Conan stuttered, a familiar sign whenever the boy tried to lie. - I was impressed since it’s a pretty big prize for a festival stall, it’s not like I need it or anything.
- Oh yeah ? - Shinichi smiled. Yet he still approached the shooting stall despite Conan’s vehement denials.
500 yen for 3 shots. 6mm plastic BB pellets with a range of 5 meters, a long-propelled, high-powered projectile with ropes tied at both ends to prevent danger to festival attendees. What a rip-off.
Although, considering the price of a child-sized plush bunny, that was pretty understandable anyway.
Shinichi picked up the gun and tried aiming - it wasn’t easy with such a small target. He wasn’t familiar with long guns, but if you knew how to aim, getting used to it wouldn’t be too difficult.
Pop.
A white mark appeared right next to the red dot. Approximately 3-4 cm from the target at 1:30. It seemed the gun wasn’t misaligned too significantly.
Shinichi breathed out and slightly changed the shot angle.
Pop.
Closer, just 1 cm at 9:25.
Shinichi smiled, lowering the scope a little, adjusting the grip and strength of his fingers. His hands were almost trembling.
Pop.
A white mark right at the red dot. Not exactly a bullseye, but the colored powder stain sat right at the dot’s edge.
Shinichi quickly lowered the plastic gun and catched the shop owner’s jaw drop in surprise at his result.
It was only until this point that the kids, including Conan, burst into praise. Both Ran and Sonoko were taken aback by their best friend's marksmanship.
- Big brother Shinichi is so cool !
- How come you’re so good at shooting !?
- I learned in Hawaii, I’m not that good.
- But you’re super good at that ! As good as-
Conan stopped mid-sentence and covered his mouth; the boy almost blurted out a name no one needed to know.
- As good as The Scarlet Investigator, you mean ? - Shinichi flashed his usual friendly smile. - You can use the name in Japanese once in a while, no need to force yourself to use the English name if you don’t remember it.
- But father wrote that film in English, so it’s only proper to use the English name. - Conan whined, perfectly executed as if already rehearsed beforehand.
The excited chatter grew even louder when Shinichi received the stuffed rabbit, and of course, Conan was the most delighted to hug it; before handing it back to Shinichi, because carrying a stuffed animal as big as himself wasn’t very convenient to move around.
- I think it’s the first time Conan shows that much interest in a toy, right ? - Ayumi started. - Ayumi had never seen Conan care about toys before.
- Oh right ! - Sonoko added. - Those two detective fanatics don’t usually give stuffed animals or robots a second glance, do they ? Did you wake up with a new personality today ?
- I’m just concerned that this stuffed animal’s a bit too good a deal for a stall’s prize, isn’t it ? - Conan said with a blank face. - Beside, the stall owner is also deliberately overcharging such a difficult game to trick people into spending money, right ? So it’s not out of norm for me to be concerned. Not to mention, if Shinichi manages to get the rabbit before the owner breaks even, it’ll make him worried and he’ll be less likely to do that in the future.
- R, right… - Sonoko stammered at the blunt words.
- Even so, Conan still got himself a cute toy, don’t you. - Ran smiled at him. - And Shinichi rarely plays any games outside of festivals anyway, so both of you two got to have fun.
Everyone talked more after that, but Shinichi remained mostly silent the whole way home. No one noticed that he was looking at Conan with a thoughtful expression. Except for Haibara, but she had her reasons for not mentioning it.
…
Since the stuffed rabbit was dirty from its time at the fair, Shinichi decided it needed to be washed and dried before being put to bed or whatever Conan wanted to do with it.
While waiting for the rabbit to spin around and around in the washing machine, Shinichi took Conan down to the kitchen to make some warm milk for the two of them. Shinichi didn’t have a habit of drinking milk before bed, but to alleviate Conan’s previous malnutrition, a little calcium after each meal and before bedtime wouldn’t hurt.
- Alright, what’s the deal with the rabbit ? - Shinichi spoke up.
Conan raised his eyebrows at Shinichi, as if he had just been pulled out of a train of thought. And that was clearly the case.
- Why are you so interested in that rabbit ? - Shinichi gestured his head towards the stairs that led to the washing room. - Does it mean anything ?
Conan set down his glass of milk, hands cupped the warmth emanating from it. Seeing the pensive look behind his glasses, Shinichi pulled up a chair and sat beside Conan. He placed his hand on the child beside him, prompting Conan to look up at his older brother. Then the boy turned back to his glass of milk and spoke.
- We weren’t the only ones in that lab. To increase the chances of success, they were also cloning rabbits.
Shinichi froze. It had been a long time since he’d heard about that place from Conan.
- Sometimes when we were moving through the hallway, there were rabbits in cages. Some cages were numbered, some weren't. To avoid any of the clones catching underlying diseases from the rabbits, we were not allowed to come into contact with them. But, you know, they were rare creatures that we get to see up close and personal with. So we couldn’t help but be curious.
Shinichi bit his lip. Of course it would be like that; children are easily interested in small animals, not to mention those that were replicas of himself.
- While the supervisors weren’t paying attention, some of us approached and petted the rabbits before the animals were removed the next day. One of the clones was bitten by a rabbit and was discovered. The next day, he was placed in solitary confinement, and we never saw him again.
Conan stared intently at the glass of milk as he spoke, so Shinichi couldn’t tell what the boy’s expression was like. He only saw those small fingers stiffening, clinging tightly to the object in his hand as if searching or something to hold on to.
- So that’s the reason you’ve taken notice of the rabbit, huh ? - Shinichi gently shook Conan’s shoulder after he regained control of his fingers.
Conan sighed, as if he had just remembered how to breathe normally.
- That’s part of it. Do you remember I told you about how I escaped from that building?
- I do. What’s about it ?
- He also really liked rabbits, 116a did. - Conan stroked the handle of the cup. - Sometimes I think that if he could escape from there, he’d have his own pet rabbit or something like that. But…
Conan didn’t finish his sentence, which he didn’t need to.
116a had stayed there so that clone 221b - Conan - could successfully escape. And even though they were separated by a door, Conan already knew the consequences of that action.
Either Conan thought it would be a suitable gift for that boy, or Conan was associating the boy with the stuffed rabbit. Both were test subjects, both couldn’t leave that place, and both were once familiar things to Conan before being taken away when he moved on to a new life.
Both were possible. Even though Conan was intelligent, he was only six years old. And a six-year-old had his own way of coping with life’s traumas, and Shinichi would give him just the right amount of space to help Conan move on gradually.
Shinichi’s hand lowered from Conan’s shoulder to his back.
- He’d definitely like the stuffed rabbit. - Shinichi patted his back as the boy looked up at his older brother with teary eyes - It’d be his first gift, right? And it’s from you too, so he’d like it.
Conan blinked, taking the tissue Shinichi pulled out to blow his nose. Hearing the boy’s small ‘yeah’, Shinichi breathed a sigh of relief, then gently tapped the milk cup, gesturing to Conan to finish before it cooled down completely.
Conan drank slowly, then paused to breathe, wiped away a tear that had rolled down his cheek, then breathed again and drank the milk. Shinichi’d pretend he didn’t notice.
The washing machine beeped as Shinichi washed their cups. It was time to put the stuffed rabbit in the dryer, and Conan insisted on doing it himself - even though the stuffed rabbit had gotten soaked and heavy, so Shinichi would inevitably have to help him lift it up.
Watching Conan’s face beamed as he pressed the button on the dryer, Shinichi started :
- What do you think if we name the rabbit ?
Conan’s eyes widened as he looked at Shinichi, as if he couldn’t believe his ears, and it was clear he had never thought about it before. Shinichi scratched his head, thinking he had said something inappropriate, but Conan’s face only showed surprise, not a hint of displeasure.
- When something is that important to you, it deserves a name, doesn’t it ? - Shinichi continued, trying not to reveal who he was referring to. - Like a nickname only you know, that would further affirm the significance of your relationship, wouldn’t it ?
Conan’s face was thoughtful, his eyes drifting into the distance as if remembering a face he hadn’t seen in a long time.
- I don’t know, I’ve never thought of him by any other name. - He smiled softly. - I don’t even know if I have the right to give him a name like that. Those scientists didn’t like us giving each other nicknames.
- But they can’t do that anymore, can they? - Shinichi replied, snapping Conan back to reality. - Besides, now you’re the only one who remembers him as a distinguished person instead of just an experiment, and you can choose how you want him to be remembered.
Conan blinked a few times, then stared contemplatively at the dryer, as if looking at the spinning bunny inside. At Conan’s long silence, Shinichi felt he might have gone too far.
- But if you don’t want to-
- When Ran asked for my name…
- Huh- Yeah?
- When Ran asked for my first name, I saw the name Edogawa. - Conan said, his gaze still distant and fixed on the rabbit in the dryer. - But Edogawa is a surname, so it wouldn’t fit to use as a first name, right ? So I looked another way and saw Conan, and then I thought it would be a more suitable name.
It wasn’t exactly a more suitable name since it didn’t sound Japanese or common anywhere, but Shinichi didn’t say that out loud.
- So I’m thinking, maybe the name Edogawa would be okay. - Conan looked at Shinichi. - He could have had a name, and if he has a name, it means he’s been accepted into someone’s family, right? Like I was part of the Kudou family. He’s just... not part of my family, but he’s not there anymore, right ?
Shinichi watched Conan chuckle to himself at what he’d just thought of, and who was he to object to it ?
- Yeah, that's a pretty good name.
When the machine beeped, Conan excitedly opened the door to greet his friend. Shinichi wondered if, in another world, if Conan wasn’t a member of the Kudou family, would he have the surname Edogawa?
Edogawa Conan…
What an odd name.
- But at least the two of you can share personal things. - Shinichi chuckled as he watched Conan hug the Edogawa rabbit. - There are many things that the Kudou family and I can’t share with you, things that are private and you don’t want outsiders to know, but you can still share them with him.
Conan silently looked at Shinichi for a moment, then, as if something had occurred to him, he hugged his stuffed rabbit and dashed into their bedroom.
When Shinichi entered the bedroom of the two brothers, Conan and the rabbit were already on the bed, next to a masking tape, a black jacket, and a black baseball cap.
The jacket belonged to Akai Shuichi and the cap to Amuro Tooru.
Conan had never liked the color black, so he never owned any clothes of that color, and Shinichi had also refrained from buying black clothes after adopting Conan. These two items of clothing were Conan’s only possessions, even treasures.
Shinichi didn’t have a good impression of Akai initially, as he had been loitering around Mori’s detective agency and his house while Vermouth was keeping an eye on both families. On the day Conan disappeared, which Shinichi mistakenly believed had been kidnapped by Akai, a member of the Black Organization, he frantically searched for the kid, even using a gun - a gun he had previously picked up from a failed Black Organization member from a nearby raid - to point at Akai Shuichi’s head, demanding that he put Conan down before doing anything to him. That was when Akai turned around, revealing a feverish, wheezing Conan in his black coat. It wasn’t a good start, and it was also the first time Shinichi understood what it felt like to be someone willing to pull the trigger on another person - a terribly awful feeling. But somehow, Akai took a liking to the two brothers, allowing Shinichi and Conan to become his close allies. Although Shinichi thought Akai had a much closer relationship with Conan, as he let the boy keep the jacket and never mentioned it again.
As for Amuro Tooru, Shinichi didn’t really like him after learning he was Bourbon from the Organization. Even after knowing Furuya Rei was an undercover cop, Shinichi remained wary, especially when that guy was assigned to investigate Conan. But somehow, through a listening device Shinichi secretly attached to Conan’s collar the night Furuya broke into their house, the boy confronted Furuya to confirm the man’s identity (which Conan had investigated himself) as well as how Furuya knew his true identity. And somehow - after Furuya crushed the listening bug and removed Shinichi from the conversation - he and Conan became close allies, Conan even showed Shinichi the hat Furuya had given him (no listening device attached). And from that day on, Shinichi indirectly became an ally of the PSB police as well. But it was clear that that alliance wasn’t as close as what was between Furuya and Conan, since the younger boy kept talking about the police officer by his first name. And both of them refused to tell him what their conversation was after Furuya crushed Shinichi’s listening device.
Their relationship had gotten so good that Shinichi was willing to entrust Conan to them whenever a major problem arose - including cases involving the Organization. And somehow, every time Conan returned from those trips, even with some physical injuries, he would smile and talk more, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from him. As if Conan was just a normal kid.
If those two adults didn’t have a pre-existing feud - or more precisely, if Amuro didn’t look like he wanted to bury Akai alive every time they met - they might have been a good parental role model for Conan.
(Conversely, Conan sometimes told Shinichi about the other interactions between the two of them, things like Akai laughing when talking about Amuro, or Amuro being willing to let Akai help him when facing the Organization, or something like that. And Shinichi decided he will never get involved in their relationship, for his own sake.)
Shaking off his thoughts, Shinichi watched Conan adjust the hat on the stuffed rabbit’s head, then use tape to secure it. Using paper clips would be easier, but if he wasn’t used to it, he could easily ruin both items. And using paper clips was his mother’s or someone else’s domain, not Shinichi’s.
- It’s been a while since I’ve seen those two. - Shinichi approached and sat on the edge of the bed.
- Yeah, I thought it would be a shame to keep them in the closet even though I cherish them a lot. - The boy turned the bunny with the hat over for Shinichi to see. - So now there is someone to wear them !
Even though he was a brilliant child, or a child who had suffered deep trauma, it was moments like these that Shinichi was reminded that deep down, Conan was still a child with surprisingly simple joys; all he needed was permission.
- That’s fair, you can’t wear these things out in public yet anyway. Or maybe even a decade later. - Shinichi said as he helped Conan roll up the oversized sleeves of the rabbit, since it was a shirt for an adult compared to a stuffed animal the size of a kid just went to his first school grade.
- Doesn’t every item have more than one use? - Conan chuckled. Besides, I wanted to share this with him too. Look-
Conan adjusted the sleeves to fit the rabbit’s arm length, then secured the folds with the masking tape. The collar and back of the shirt also was taped to the rabbit, while the front was unzipped.
- Doesn’t it look like his parents just put a shirt on him !
Conan grinned while showing off his brilliant idea, and all the fatigue from the day vanished off Shinichi at that.
Conan’s eyes seemed like he had other thoughts, however. He hugged his stuffed rabbit, placed the tape and his glasses on the bedside table, then chuckled and lay down on the pillow, as if laughing at his own brilliant idea.
- I bet in another world, if Akai and Amuro weren’t so at odds with each other, they’d adopt you two. - Shinichi said in a flat tone, ruffling Conan’s hair before getting up to turn off the light.
- I don’t know, maybe that would be a shame.
- Why ? - Shinichi turned back and asked.
- Because if I had other parents, I probably wouldn’t have an older brother ! - Conan said, his eyes twinkling with a smile.
- You sure know how to flatter. - Shinichi said, turning off the light.
The room was immediately plunged into darkness, but the light from the streetlamp still illuminated Shinichi as he walked to the bed and lay down beside his cunning younger brother.
- Good night big brother. - Conan said quickly before sleepiness drained away his last bit of energy for the day, then lowered his voice and whispered. - Good night to you too, Edogawa.
- Good night to you both. - Shinichi replied.
Shinichi sighed and pulled the blanket back over his younger brother and his stuffed rabbit. He lay down on the pillow, exhausted from a long day, and sure he’d be just as tired tomorrow with similar stuff who knows might happen. But the steady breathing of the boy beside him pulled Shinichi out of his thoughts. After all, Shinichi was a detective, and wasn’t a life full of unpredictable events more suited to him than the repetitive days before ?