Chapter Text

Penthouse In The Sky

It has been a little over a year since Shane’s life shattered, and he knows the date without checking his phone. He knows it because the sky is wrong. Heavy and low, clouds pressing down like the city is holding its breath. He knows it because his chest feels tight before he even steps into the building, that familiar ache that never really left, only learned how to stay quiet.

The elevator doors slide shut, and Shane stares at his reflection in the metal walls. He doesn’t recognize the man looking back. This person is not Shane, but more of a shell of the man he once was.

Today is Ilya’s wedding day. 

His hand stays buried in the pocket of his coat. The wedding invitation presses into his palm. A gift from Andrei. Thick paper. Clean lines. Ilya’s name printed first, confident and unmovable, beside Svetlana’s. Shane never opened it again after the first time. He does not need to. It’s seared deep into his brain. It haunts him.

“Man with a plan and your city friends

They all worshipped you”

They will be with Ilya now, somewhere across the city. A cathedral or a grand hall, something historic and beautiful. Something as big and beautiful as the man Ilya is. A place that fits the narrative. Friends in dark suits. Cameras. Applause. A future that looks flawless from the outside.

He is here to give something back. The elevator stops. The hallway is quiet. Too quiet. Shane walks slowly, steps echoing softly as he reaches the penthouse door at the end of the hall. He stands there longer than necessary, almost scared to proceed.  

His fingers tighten around the key in his other pocket. This key has followed him for a year. Moved from room to room and finally found itself tucked into a drawer. Out of sight, out of mind….like that ever worked. This was the one thing he could never quite let go of, even when he told himself he had to.

This was the last piece of Ilya that was ever his.

He slides the key into the lock. The click is soft. The door opens easily, like it remembers him.

Shane steps inside and closes it behind him, locking it again out of instinct. The sound echoes through the empty space, final and isolating.

The penthouse is different now, but not enough. New furniture. New art. The same walls of glass, stretching upward and outward, framing the city below. Gray light pours in, muted by clouds, washing everything in soft shadows.

“On a cloudy day, with a black lace veil that covered my eyes”

Shane hangs his coat on the hook by the door, neat and careful like he always was. His hands shake when he lets go. He stands there for a moment, staring at the wall, breathing through the familiar ache in his chest.

The key is still in his hand.  He remembers the night Ilya gave it to him, months before everything broke. Ilya had been smiling, distracted, already halfway across the room.

“You live here,” he had said. “Stop acting like a guest.” Shane had laughed then. Had pretended not to feel the weight of it settling into his bones.

“You said this could be mine

Everything that shines

Penthouse in the sky”

He walks farther into the foyer, each step careful, deliberate. The apartment still carries memories of them. Late nights, and bare feet on cold floors. Ilya leaning against the counter, talking with his hands, laughing, telling Shane about his day.

A year ago, Shane stood here knowing exactly what he was about to do and wishing, desperately, that love would be enough to stop him. But he was scared, scared of the life Ilya would have if he didn’t. 

He remembers it vividly: 

It was after one of his games, he’d just gotten home, tired and ready for bed. He stepped into the kitchen and stopped…Andrei was there, sitting at his counter like he owned the place. His coat immaculate, posture perfect. He had looked at Shane like a man assessing damage.

Dread filled him, he knew without a doubt, nothing good was going to come from this. 

“A holy man held a crucifix where the sinner lied.”

Andrei’s voice had been calm. Measured. “You will leave him,” he had said. “Or I will make sure he loses everything.”

He knew how Russia worked. Knew that being gay, or even rumored to be, was enough to ruin a life. Ilya wasn’t a citizen. Nothing would be able to protect him.

Ilya wouldn’t be able to go home, and wouldn't survive this scandal.

His only thought, Ilya must be protected.

Even if that meant breaking both of their hearts. Andrei had played his hand perfectly. He knew exactly what would make Shane cave. There was no choice, just an ultimatum. And Shane had taken it, because loving Ilya meant choosing the one thing that would destroy him completely.

The table comes into view. This is why he came back. Not for closure. Not for forgiveness. But to return the last thing that tethered him to a future he was never allowed.

He places the key on the table. It makes a quiet sound as it touches the surface. A sound that asks for nothing and takes everything. Shane stares at it for a long moment. This small piece of metal once meant belonging. Safety. A place in Ilya’s life. Now it is just an object, waiting to be claimed by someone else.

Somewhere across the city, music is starting. Guests are standing. Ilya is straightening his cuffs, breathing steadily, preparing to say vows meant for someone else. Waiting for his bride to walk down the aisle. 

Shane looks around the penthouse one last time. The place where they laughed. The place where they planned their future. The place where he learned that loving someone does not always mean being allowed to stay.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, voice breaking. “I hope you’re happy.”

He turns toward the door. His phone is already in his hand. The name on the screen still makes his stomach twist, even now.

Andrei.

Shane types slowly, deliberately. They should be married by now. There is nothing left to explain. Nothing left to negotiate.

You got what you wanted. 

He sends it. The tears come as soon as the door opens. Hot and silent, slipping down his cheeks as he steps into the hallway. He does not wipe them away. There is no one here to see him.

The door locks  behind him. The click sounds like an ending. Shane walks toward the elevator, shoulders shaking, and chest aching. The doors close, his eyes don’t move from the floor. He doesn’t press any buttons, just stands completely still. He feels so alone, heartbroken and the only thing that matters is that Ilya will be safe.

Sometimes, loving someone, meant letting them go.