Work Text:
If one were to look through the videos on DI Lestrade´s phone, one would find a file that until recently was labelled “SH blackmail material”.
If one were to watch the video, it would show a very confused Consulting Detective, draped all over his ever faithful blogger in the back seat of a police car.
Said Consulting detective was at the time under the influence of some unknown, very effective, and thankfully quite harmless drug, courtesy of one Miss Irene Adler.
The quality of the video may be appalling, but it has managed to capture the glares of the blogger when he is told that he is “very schort” and has “biiiggg feet” (“those are my shoes, Sherlock”) and that the detective has managed to deduce that he is in fact a “hhhhhbtt” (“god, why did I let him watch Lord of the Rings?”).
Before the video was relabelled, people used to laugh when they saw the last part. There, the Blogger claims with a long-suffering voice that the Detective is just one big flaming eyeball of wonderful observations. The Consulting detective had immediately protested, saying he was definitely a Dragon (“lookk Johnnn, ‘ve gt WINGS”) and claimed he could fly home to Bakerstreet.
People no longer laugh when they see that part.
And there is no-one left to blackmail.