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The thing they never tell you about being a parent is well, okay there are lots of things they never tell you but someone should have definitely given Liam a heads up on the fact you spend approximately 26 hours of your day worrying about your kids.
And okay sure Liam can be more prone to worrying than the average person but really he has this perfectly wonderful, perfectly lovely, perfectly perfect little girl and the thought that anything bad should happen to her makes him want to projectile vomit all over this new rug that they definitely didn’t need.
And Louis’s right, he should relax because it’s just nursery school and it’s only a half day thing and they’d picked this one out of a hundred others because it was clean and brightly colored, and the personnel were both professional and friendly and it was one of the few schools that didn’t make them both want to grab Lily into their arms and run as far away as they possibly could.
It was also conveniently located about 10 minutes away from their home, which would make it easy and quick for him to get to were any major catastrophe or emergency to occur within the next 5 hours.
It was fine.
She was safe and probably having lots of fun, making new friends easily because she was (thankfully) Louis’ child as far as social abilities go and she’d be clamoring to tell him all about the new things she was learning and doing, her little blue eyes twinkling in delight.
There would probably be handmade drawings to hang up on the refrigerator; ones with the 3 of them together; ones with all her uncles because “duh daddy, it’s not our family without Uncle Harry and Uncle Niall and Uncle Zayn,” all while giving him a look that he’d seen on Louis’ face a hundred times over.
She was the best thing to happen to him along with Louis and alright, maybe Liam wasn’t taking their first extended separation very well.
“Stop pacing, Li. You’re making me nervous and I don’t you to wear a hole in that rug. Now come over here and sit down, please,” Lou says from his place on the couch. He was still in his pajamas (although, they might actually belong to Liam) and his hair was kind of sticking up to one side, he looked sort of sleep rumpled still, but he was managing some sort of calm in all of this and that made Liam sincerely grateful.
“Seriously Liam, we have the whole morning to ourselves for once and I want to spend it cuddling and maybe making out a little bit so if you could,” he continues when Liam hasn’t made a move.
He takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch and almost immediately has a lap full of Louis. His hands find Louis’ waist` automatically and he pulls him even closer.
“We did the right thing sending her on, yeah?”
Because that was the thing nagging at his gut. What if he’d screwed up? What if she was too young for this and ended up traumatized her for the rest of her life or what if she hated it and then never wanted to speak to him again? What if she got hurt or the kids were mean to her? There were about a million what ifs running through his head that all ended with “You’re a horrible father. What are you even thinking trying to raise a child?”
He never regrets Lily, not one bit, but sometimes he feels like he’s painfully too young for all of this. His face must be giving away his inner diatribe, or maybe Louis just knows him better than anyone in the whole world at this point, because he grabs Liam’s face and brings their foreheads together before speaking quietly.
“You are a good dad okay? Second only to me, as far as fathers go, so would you stop freaking out already? That little girl is going to run right into your arms and squeeze the absolute life out of you, because she’s missed you so much, and then she’s going to drag both of us over here and tell us all about the fun she’s had today.”
Liam tries to bury his head in the side of Louis’ neck but Louis is grabbing his head before he can get settled there.
“No she will. And you need to kiss me because this is already way too sentimental for me to maintain my position as the sarcastic heart of this relationship.”
“Oh Boobear, are you growing soft in your old age?”
“You can just fuck off---“ and then Liam kisses him, which is the best and most effective way to shut up Louis Tomlinson.
Louis fights him a bit, clearly trying to get the last word in, but Liam licks along the seam of his lower lip in a way that has Louis opening his mouth easily, allowing Liam to sneak his tongue and muffling any sound Louis tries to make.
Louis lowers himself down pulling Liam with him as their tongues tangle together easily, soft and familiar. Louis rests a hand on the nape of Liam’s neck, fingers playing with fluffy curls there. Liam can feel himself relaxing, the band of tension that was once tight across his chest loosening the longer they kiss.
At some point, Louis slips a hand under the back of Liam’s shirt, fingers pressing into the small of his back, a small but comforting gesture that grounds Liam in a way he wasn’t aware he needed until that moment.
He stops, pressing a kiss to the corner of Louis mouth, before resting his forehead against the curve of Louis’ neck. Louis cards his fingers through his hair in a way that could have him dozing if it continued on but for now is soothing away in residual ache leftover from a round of lazy kissing.
“You’re gonna pay for that one later, Payne,” he says, breaking the quiet that had settled over them, tugging at the fistful of curls in his hand.
Liam chuckles before lifting his head. “technically i was just doing what you told me to do.”
“Yes, but you used the nickname that shall not be named. It’s like Voldemort but much worse.”
Liam sneaks a kiss to the side of Louis’ jaw, nipping just the tiniest bit as he makes his way down to his pulse point.
“No, don’t you even—ah—“ as Liam begins to suck gently there, easing off just as he feels the skin start to pucker.
“That was totally uncalled for, arsehole.”
“Well, I did learn from the best,” he says with a smirk as he pushes himself off the couch.
Louis grabs at his leg before he can get too far. “no, no, no, that didn’t mean I wanted you to stop.”
“Yes but I’d rather not have the lads walk right into my mouth on your dick again.” Liam says, pulling his leg from Louis’s grip. A bit of a struggle given Louis seems really determined to keep him there. Liam’s strength wins out and Louis finds himself tipped over the edge of the couch.
“Oh please they’re used to it by now. I mean how many times did we get caught on the tour bus? Louis replies, righting himself back onto the couch with only a minor struggle.
“As much fun as that was. I don’t need Harry running commentary on exactly what my tongue is doing to you or where exactly your hand is on my bum.” Liam argues as he makes his way to the kitchen.
“Oh come on, that was one time.” Louis sighs with a pout, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at Liam’s retreating back and then crossing his arms across his chest.
“Once was enough, now go get dressed while I try to figure out if we have enough food for Nialler.” Liam says oblivious to Louis’ pillow attack, opening the refrigerator door and rummaging for anything remotely edible.
Not long after, an unmistakable slow drawl comes from behind them, “i don’t think there’s ever enough food for Niall, mate.” Liam doesn’t have to turn around to know he’d be greeted by the sight of an awful brown mop of only sort of curly hair and a set of gangly limbs that when put together created the one and only Harry Styles.
“Speak of the devil, Harold, we were just talking about you.” Louis says from his place on the couch.
“You know, some people do this thing called knocking. It’s pretty customary for guests to do before coming into someone’s house.” Liam says, eyebrows twisting into an annoyed frown.
“The door wasn’t even locked!” Harry argues, hands gesturing wildly in the air as he walks towards the kitchen. He stops at the bowl of fruit sitting in the middle of the counter, grabbing an apple and biting into it with loud chomp.
“Still, i don’t just barge into your flat unannounced.” Liam says, closing the refrigerator door and moving onto digging through the top cabinets. He pulls out two bags of crisps and a loaf of bread. Louis must have put away the groceries this time because he definitely didn’t put that there. He then moves to the second cabinet and pulls out a bran cereal he thinks might actually be his mother’s from the last time she came to visit.
“First, this is not unannounced, since you knew i was coming and, second, are you aware of the number of times i’ve come back to Louis eating crisps on my couch?” Harry counters, “and third, i know you don’t think Niall is actually going to touch that.” gesturing to the box in Liam’s hand.
“Still it wouldn’t hurt for you to observe niceties,” Liam mutters with a shrug throwing the box into the rubbish bin and then starts looking for the various boxes of biscuits he keeps around for after dinner dessert.
Niceties? Harry mouths to Louis, eyebrows raised as he gives him a questioning look. “oi, what’s got his knickers in a twist?” head nodding towards Liam.
“blah blah blah, something about being a bad dad.” Louis says, one hand gesturing vaguely as the other pinches the bridge of his nose in irritation.
“This again? Really Liam, how are you going to survive when she actually has to go to school for the entire day?”
Liam doesn’t want to think about that right now so he concentrates harder on digging through the cupboards. He hears Harry sigh, then take a few steps, and then Harry’s stupid octopus limbs are curling around his waist.
“You’re a great dad, Liam. Being the baby of the band and all, you and Louis practically raised me back in the day and look at how great i turned out.” Harry says, his head peeking out from underneath Liam’s armpit.
He hears Louis’ guffaw and then the scrape of a bar stool being pulled, “yeah that’s not going to make him feel any better.”
Liam can’t keep a grin from appearing on his face as Louis gives him a half-smile
“I mean, Lily’s already twice as smart as haz will ever be so we’re doing pretty good, i think.” Louis adds cheekily, picking up a banana from the bowl of fruit and sniffing it and then putting back into the bowl with a disinterested frown.
“Heyyy,” Harry protests with a dopey grin plastered on his face, arms still firmly attached to Liam as he continues opening cabinets and pulling out food. He then grabs and fills the kettle, settling it on the stove to boil.
“Have we started making fun of Harry already? You couldn’t wait another five minutes?” Niall’s Irish tilt sounds across the hall. He walks into the kitchen looks at Harry and Liam and back at Louis. Louis answers him with a shrug.
“Just because the door is unlocked doesn’t mean you can just walk in!” Liam huffs, disentangling himself from Harry’s grip and shoving him in Lou’s direction. He busies himself with grabbing the two empty mugs from the drying rack next to the sink, setting them down on the center island counter and snagging the box of tea bags resting atop the refrigerator.
“Sorry, mate, but i heard you lads talking and just thought i’d save you the trouble,” Niall says with a sheepish grin, pulling off his snapback and ruffling his hair before he puts it back on.
“You’ll have to excuse our Liam today, Nialler. He’s having some kind Lily separation anxiety and it’s turned him into a bit of a grouch,” Louis says with a wink in Liam’s direction.
“Oh, right, that’s today. What stage of Liam-worrying are we at? Have we reached the one where we hold him down and cuddle him until that stupid frown goes away?”
“Close. We’re at ‘i’m a horrible father because i sent my daughter into the wilds of nursery school.’“
“Christ Liam again? She’s only there until noon.”
“Just for that I’m not telling you where i keep those chocolate biscuits you like so much.” Liam says, placing two bags into the mugs on the counter and lifting the kettle off the stove as it starts to whistle.
Niall gives him an incredulous look. “Top left cabinet, right behind the cheerios. Please, like i didn’t get that one out of Lily ages ago,” he says, maneuvering around Harry and Liam to open the fridge. “it’s just, i don’t know why you worry so much. Lily loves you more than anything, even more than her favorite uncle. I mean, you were always looking out for me and protecting me from shit. I always felt really safe with you and Louis around. I’m sure Lily feels the same even if she can’t tell you.” he finishes setting the jug of milk next to Liam’s arm.
“I don’t think---you lads were—are different. I don’t---she’s---“ he stutters continuing to prepare his and Louis’ tea. (Milk in the Louis’ first then water until swirls to a light shade of brown.)
“Your baby, Li, we know. We were there when she was born. We all held her as you kept telling us how perfect she was over and over again,” Harry says, rooting around the cupboard and pulling out a mug for himself.
Liam grabs the steaming mugs from the counter and takes a seat next to Liam at the bar. Louis reaches over and pulls one of Liam’s hands into lap, linking their fingers together. Liam reaches over with his free hand and grabs the sugar container where it rests at the upper corner of the bar.
“I think what Harry and Niall are trying to say, babe, and what I told you earlier, is that, surprisingly enough,” he gives Liam a fondly exasperated look. “Daddy Direction turned out to be a really fantastic daddy to our little girl.” he gives their joined hands a gentle squeeze. “and you need to stop beating yourself about it.”
“ugh is Lou getting sappy again? Mate, at the this rate Liam is going to ruin all your street cred and I’m going to have to stop hanging out with you,” Zayn pipes in, announcing his presence. “also you should probably think about locking your door next time.”
“Seriously?” Liam’s shouts, incredulous. “What’s the point of having a doorbell?”
“Liam thinks Lily is going to hate him for sending her to school,” Niall says around the crisps he’s stuffed into his mouth.
“Again? Fucking hell, Li,” Zayn grumbles, crossing the living room towards where they’re gathered in the kitchen. “Nobody has time for this.”
“Cheers, mate. I can really feel your support.”
“What, like all these idiots here haven’t already been telling you what a nutter you are for thinking Lily could ever hate you. Jesus, you do realize that same little girl cried for a good half hour last week when she found out you couldn’t keep ladybugs as pets.” he grabs a biscuit to Niall’s protests. “Are you really that big of a dolt that you need four people to tell you that even if she doesn’t like it, which chances are slim to none at this point, you are not a bad dad because you sent her out into the world?”
“No i just—“
“iI mean if Lou is having to break into his not so secretly hidden depths of sincerity than---“
“I get it. I just miss her, alright?” he says, feeling Louis slip an arm around his waist, thumb beginning to rub absently against his hipbone.
Harry is the one to break the silence, “We all do too, mate. Why else do you think we’re all over here?”
“To watch the match, sure but more importantly we want to hear all about how her first day went. You know, the day she’s been going on about for weeks now?” Niall adds.
“And Louis might have also texted us all last night after you went to bed because he knew you’d need us all here,“ Zayn finishes.
Louis shrugs and cuddles into his side when Liam gives him a frown.
“Now if we’re through with all of this, can we go watch the match please?” Zayn says, standing and snatching away the tin in Niall’s hand, shoving a bag of crisps into his chest instead.
“Sure but please use the coasters this time. They aren’t just there for decoration.” Liam shouts over Louis’ shoulder as the lads make a running start towards the living room.
“And if anyone of you pricks spills anything on that rug, i will personally cut off your dicks with a rusty butter knife,” Louis yells after them, twisting around in Liam’s grasp. Zayn raises two fingers at him from where he settled onto the couch.
“We’re doing alright, yeah?” Liam whispers into the top of Louis’ head when Louis has settled back into place against Liam’s chest, head nestled in the crook of his shoulder.
Louis looks up at him and smiles. “of course. Wish i could say the same thing about that rug though,” he replies as they both hear an “oh shit” echo into the kitchen.
“Reckon we should probably intervene before they ruin the couch too,” Liam chuckles before pulling them both up into a standing position.
“What the fuck did i just say?” Louis yells as he pulls away from Liam and starts walking into the other room. Liam grabs at his wrist and reels him back.
“Liam, what the --“ the rest of his words are cut off as Liam takes both of his hands, grabs Louis face and kisses him firmly. He hears the lads start to make gagging sounds.
“Just wanted to say thanks.” he says with what is most likely a dopey grin. Louis pushes him off and gives his nipple a good pinch before scurrying off to the living room. Liam cradles his chest with a mock hurt look.
“That is for cutting me off, not once, not twice but three times today,” Louis says over his shoulder.
“Who did it? No don’t look at Niall. Look at me. I’m asking you a question styles!”
Liam hears the familiar squawks of Louis jumping on top of Harry and thinks maybe he’s got the best family in the world.
----
“Daddy, do you think uncle Niall can be my show and tell for tomorrow? I want him to bring his guitar and sing that song about the monkeys.”
“I don’t know, sweetheart. You’ll have to ask him yourself,” he answers, trying to jiggle the key in the lock to their front door, while balancing Lily in his arms.
He opens the door to find the four lads sprawled on the bottom steps of the stairs. Lily immediately starts trying to squirm out of his arms. “put me down, daddy,” she squeals. Liam does as he’s told and she races and jumps into a now standing Louis’ arms, throwing her tiny arms around his neck.
“Papa, Papa, Papa! Miss Leslie has a huge fish tank and on Friday it’s my turn to feed Nemo and -- and I colored you a picture and -- Miss Leslie said it was the most prettiful picture she’d ever seen -- and we have show and tell tomorrow and -- and --“
“Baby girl, breathe. We have all afternoon for you to tell us all about it.” Lily takes an exaggerated deep breath before launching into another story about all the things they learned about monkeys and how if uncle Niall came to sing the song she’d be the coolest girl in all of nursery school.
Lily starts to wind down an hour or so later and they have just enough time for quick snack before she starts falling heavily against Liam’s side. She’s still sleepily explaining how she’s going to need a new set of crayons as Liam carries her to her room with Louis close behind.
“We’re glad you had a good time today, Lilybean,” Liam says with kiss to her forehead as he settles her onto the bed.
Louis grabs the quilt, draped across the lower end of bed, and tucks it around Lily’s shoulders. “Have a good nap, Lilybug,” he whispers softly as he brushes away a few strands of hair that have fallen into her face and kisses her temple.
“Love you. Missed you lots,” Lily mumbles drowsily.
“Missed you too, sweet girl. Love you,” Louis answers with a smile. One more kiss from both of them and then they are closing the door behind them.
“I may be biased here but that little girl in there is the best thing to happen to this world,” Liam says, slipping an arm around Louis’ waist as they make their way down stairs.
“Huh, how about that? I was just thinking the same thing.”
“Love you, Lou.”
“Love you too, Li.”