Work Text:
“I would give anything to change this fickle-minded heart
That loves fake shiny things”
You had majorly fucked up. You had put the entire team in danger, just because you didn't follow your orders. If there was anything you could do, you would go back and change the mistake you had made.
The mission had started off at a HYDRA base in Florida. Fury said that there was intel there that you needed to get. Of course you had been called in to help. You were one of SHIELD’s best hackers and assassins, under Natasha of course. She and Steve, your long time boyfriend, had been called in. Steve had mainly been called because he wanted to see if he could find any information on Bucky.
After the debriefing, you all made your way to the quintet that was waiting for you. As soon as you were on, you went to the pilots seat and started it up. Once you were in the sky, you made your way all the way down to Florida. On the way, Steve gave you your orders. All you had to do was go in and hack into their main computers to get the information you were told.
The computer itself had many layers of protection that you would have to get through so their wasn't really a lot of people guarding it. That's what Natasha and Steve were for. They would go in and handle anyone that came in your way.
As you landed, you cloaked the ship and snuck your way in. There were only a few people in your way, but you were able to handle them with ease. It didn't take long at all to find the computer. Both Nat and Steve decided to guard the doors in case anyone came and found out what was going on.
It took you a little while to get through all of the walls, but you were able to do it eventually. After that it was relatively easy to find the files. They were encrypted, but you'd be able to fix them when you got back to the tower. You moved the files to the USB and started to close out of them when you saw something. It caught your eye and made you pause.
From what Russian you learned, the file read ‘inhumans’. The call to take it was too hard to ignore. Your curiosity got the better of you and you moved it to the USB as well. As soon as it was completely moved, loud beeping from the compound filled your ears. Your eyes widened in shock and you quickly took what you had and ran to the door.
Steve and Nat were both there and looking at you. “What happened?” They both asked.
“I don't know. As soon as I moved the second set of files the alarm went off.” Steve's eyes narrowed at you.
“What do you mean ‘second set of files’?” He asked.
“One of them looked interesting and I copied it. There must have been an alarm on it.” The glare he sent you told you everything you needed to know. He did not like what you had done and he was disappointed.
“Stop looking at me with those eyes
Like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why”
That all had happened over two weeks ago. It had been two weeks since the three of you escaped that compound on the brink of death.
After the alarm tripped, HYDRA agents came out of nowhere and attacked. There were too many of them for you all to make it out unscathed. Bullet wounds, knife wounds, even burns had come from the encounter. If Natasha hadn't called for backup, none of you would have made it out of there alive.
Since then, Steve hadn't once spoken to you. He barely even looked your way at all. When he did, all you could do was see the anger and disappointment. It hurt you more than you ever thought it would.
Steve was usually so nice and kind to you. You loved each other with everything you had and it was the best feeling in the world. For all of that to be taken away with one mistake…it made you feel like the epitome of shit.
“I'm only human can't you see
I made, I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything's okay
Cause I got it (ooh)
[I’ll] never be like you”
All you wanted was for things to go back to how they once were. Everything before the mission had been going so well for the both of you. Now…all you could feel was regret over everything that happened.
If only you had listened to Steve. He had many more years of battle than you had. He knew that just doing what you were told was the easiest and safest way. You sulked to yourself as you thought of Steve.
He was perfect. He would have never made a mistake like that. Nope. He would have followed his orders and got the mission done without risking anyone's life. You wanted to believe it was because he was enhanced with the serum, but that wasn't true. He was human just like you. You just so happened to be the one human who endangered other people's lives.
“How do I make you wanna stay?
Hate sleeping on my own, missing the way you taste
Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you”
It was easy to tell he was plotting your separation. Never had he gone this long without talking to you. He'd gotten angry some times before, but never like this. To be completely honest…you missed him.
He was so close, yet so far. You both lived in the same building and on the same floor, but he avoided you like the plague. It made nights hard for you.
Before, he would sleep in your room every night and hold you close to him. You didn't know if you would ever have that again. It made you feel worse than you could ever imagine. You couldn't handle that.
As you were lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice someone walk up behind you. “(f/n).” You turned around quickly to look at him. Steve was standing there in all his glory. You could only stare at him in shock. This was the first time he had actually talked to you since it happened. It felt so good to hear his voice again.
“Y-yes?” You stuttered out while standing from your place on the couch.
“Can we…talk?” Your face fell. You knew what was going to happen. It was only a matter of time before this happened. You knew it. He was going to break up with you.
With a deep breath, you nodded softly. He started walking towards his room and you followed him. He held the door open for you, and you walked in. The soft click of the door made you realize how bad the situation was. You really just wanted to make him understand.
“Baby, baby please believe me
C'mon take it easy
Please don't ever leave me”
He started to speak, but you cut him off. “Before you say anything, I just want to tell you that I am sorry…for what happened two weeks ago. It was stupid and idiotic. I put the whole team in danger and I can't apologize enough. I almost got us killed and you don't know how guilty I feel. I think about it everyday. It haunts me. I swear if I could go back in time and change what I did I would. I never intended for that to happen. If I would have known…i-if I w-would have only l-listened t-to what you said…none of t-this w-would have ha-happened.” Sobs were threatening to break through, but you bit them back. Tears were freely flowing down your cheeks as you looked at the ground.
“(f/n)-“
“I'm falling on my knees
Forgive me, I'm a fucking fool
I'm begging, darling, please
Absolve me of my sins, won't you?”
The sobs you were fighting to hold back broke free. You couldn't hold them anymore.
“I'm s-so s-s-sorry! I should h-have listened! I'm a-an idiot! Idiot, idiot, idiot.” You managed to get through the gut-wrenching sobs. You suddenly felt his arms around you and you melted into him. He held you as you sobbed against him.
Eventually, you were able to get it together and calm down. You pulled away from him and looked away as you wiped at the tears. Now you were just embarrassed. That sob story probably meant nothing to him.
“I'll understand if you still want nothing to do with me. I'm-“ You stopped when he suddenly turned you around and pulled you close to him. The feeling of his lips on yours made your body immediately relax. You had missed him so much.
When he pulled away, you opened your eyes and looked at him. He was smiling softly down at you. “I could never stay mad at you (f/n). I love you too much to leave you over a mistake. I forgive you.” He said while hugging you tightly.
You smiled into his shirt and hugged him as tight as you could. “I love you too Steve.”
“I'm only human can't you see
I made, I made a mistake”
You were so glad he had forgiven you. You were absolutely sure that he was leading you here to end the relationship. Thankfully he hadn't. Now you would make sure that you never lost him again.