Chapter Text
Victoria Javadi is fucking tired. Not end-of-shift tired, but exhausted right down to the marrow of her bones kind of tired. She had stupidly thought that after the chaos of Pittfest shooting on day one, the rest of this rotation would be a piece of cake. She was gloriously wrong.
The emergency rotation was draining every last drop of life (and sanity) out of her. Most nights Victoria woke up with her blankets tangled around her legs, a sheen of sweat covering her whole body and mumbling something along the lines of “we need a chest tube” or “BP is crashing”. Victoria looked in the mirror each morning and didn’t see the reflection of a 20 year old, but someone older. Someone who’d seen more horrific things than most people would see in their entire lives. Each day she woke up, stood in front of the mirror, and caked on concealer to hide the dark bags under eyes, a bit of blush to add some colour back to her ever paling cheeks. Not enough for anyone to call her out on wearing makeup, just enough that no one noticed that she looked like the living dead. It worked too, no one ever noticed.
Victoria walked into the emergency room that morning, the waiting room already bursting at the seems with new patients to be seen. Blindly pushing through the triage doors, thinking only about the life saving coffee in her hand, Victoria Javadi walked straight into someone’s back. Promptly spilling said live saving coffee entirely down the back of the poor person she had walked into.
“Fuck, I’m so fucking sorry!” came hurtling out of Javadi’s mouth. Reaching for the the victim of the caffeine scented attack, Javadi noticed the red hair tied in pony tail and the army green coat slung across their shoulders.
Cassie McKay had turned around, her features immediately softening when looking at Javadi.
“Oh god, McKay, I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Are you burnt?” Javadi was rambling, her voice shaking just as much as her hands. “What can I do to hel-” Victoria’s words were cut off by Cassie gently placing her hand over Victoria’s mouth. Victoria took a breath and was immediately overwhelmed by the smell of Cassie. McKay’s hands were soft against her plump lips. Oh god she had just sniffed her coworker. Victoria might be going into cardiac arrest.
“Vadi, sweetheart, I’m fine. It’s just a little coffee, it wasn’t that hot anyway.”
Sweetheart.. If Victoria was on the edge of cardia arrest before, she’s just straight up dead now. She felt her cheeks getting warmer, and knew McKay would be feeling it where her fingertips rested on Javadi’s cheeks, hand still gently covering her mouth.
McKay’s eyes flicked down to where her hand was still on Victoria, a small smirk playing at her lips. Letting her fingers slide down, briefly landing on Javadi’s jaw, she gave a quick squeeze, before letting her drop fully to Javadi’s shoulder. Victoria was definitely dead.
“It’s okay Vadi, it’s not a big deal. Accidents happen. Maybe just watch where you’re going next time, yeah?” Cassie’s tone was soft, just like when she was teaching. Her hand dropping off Victoria’s shoulder, and casually back to her side.
“I absolutely will, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention at all, it won’t happen again I promise!” The words flew out of Victoria’s mouth a hundred miles a minute, the spot on her shoulder still warm from Cassie’s touch. Victoria’s hand were shaking, her heart beating a million beat per minute. She had just spilt hot coffee all over her coworker and mentor. Oh god, Cassie is going to hate her now. Hot tears pricked at her eyes, her breath hitched.
Oh no, not now. Please not now.
“Vadi, you okay?” Cassie’s voice was filled with concern. Looking up at her briefly, Victoria saw that concern mirrored in her face. The ringing in her ears started, the burning behind her eyes becoming unbearable.
Not here. Not in front of her. Pull it together Victoria!
Victoria said nothing more to Cassie. Ducking her head she curried off as quickly as she could, eyes scanning quickly for a nice quiet place to shove down the panic attack threatening to tear her apart at the seems. Nobody noticed her when she pushed into the supply closet, back hitting the wall next to the door. Victoria let herself slide down the wall, bringing her knees to her chest, head dropping onto her arms. Blinking rapidly, trying to force the tears back into her eyes. She took slow deep breaths, in 1, 2, 3 out 1, 2, 3.
Didn’t even make it to start of shift today! Pathetic. Nobody is ever going to take you seriously. It’s bad enough you look like a kid, now you’re going around crying like one too. And over for some spilt coffee? You’re a joke.
Victoria Javadi decided in that moment that her inner monologue was a bit of an asshole. A fresh wave of tears started, just as the door next to her opened gently.
“Vadi?”, looking up from her lovely spot on the ground, Victoria saw McKay staring down at her.
Victoria started pushing up from the ground, “I’m sorry I’m coming. Are they doing rounds already?” Quickly swiping at the remaining tears that were tracks down her face, she took another deep breath before looking McKay in the eyes. Her hold on her composure was weak at best.
Victoria took a step closer to McKay, just as McKay stepped fully into the room gently closing the door behind her. All of a sudden there was a mere foot of distance between them. The supply closet was by no means big, but right in that moment Victoria swears the walls closed in on them. Her heart rate picked right back up again, but this time it had nothing to do with a panic attack.
Oh god we’re so close, she can probably hear my heart
McKay’s eye scanned all over her face, stopping for a fraction too long on her mouth before flicking back to her eyes. Her brows furrowed, hidden behind messy bangs. Cassie opened her mouth and then quickly closed it again. Her jaw snapped shut with a click, the muscles tensing for a second.
She’s mad.. oh god she only clenches her jaw like that when she’s mad. Fuck fuck fuck
The panic was ripping back into Victoria, the ringing in her ears slowly picking back up again. Just as she was opening her mouth to start the newest onslaught of apologies, McKay finally spoke.
“Victoria, baby, talk to me. What’s going on?”
Baby. With that one word McKay had just decimated the flimsy hold on her composure. The sobs that Victoria had shoving down came tearing out of her throat. Tears flowed freely with no end in sight.
Cassie closed the last of space between them, wrapping her arms firmly around the younger woman. Victoria immediately folded into the hug, her face fitting perfectly into the crook of Cassie’s neck. Face turned slightly, nose and lips brashly lightly against Cassie’s throat. Cassie turned too, resting her cheek on the top of Victoria’s head.
“Baby I need you to talk to me. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours right now?” Cassie’s words were mumbled into Victoria’s hair, her hands rubbing soothing circles on the younger woman’s back.
“I’m sorry” sob “I just need” another sob “sorry”
Every word that left Victorias mouth was punctuated with a sob. Her breathing was becoming more and more erratic. She gave up on trying to talk, just tucked her face back in tighter to Cassie’s neck. Her hands gripped at the colour of Cassie’s green army jacket, pulling her impossibly closer.
“You’re okay sweetheart. Just breathe for me baby, can you do that?”
Victoria gave a sharp, jerky nod. Cassie shifted their position slightly, bringing her mouth down near Victoria’s ear.
“Good girl.”
Victoria’s reaction was instantaneous and completely involuntary. She pulled Cassie impossibly closer by the collar or her jacket, lips right up against the older woman’s throat, and she moaned.
Victoria felt Cassie tense around her, the red heads arms tightening for a second before going completely slack and dropping away from her.
Yet another chorus of fuck fuck fuck started jumping around in her head. Victoria pulled her face away from Cassie neck and took a small step back. Slightly further away from Cassie but still very much in her space, the apologies began once again.
“I’m so sorry, Dr. McKay. That was so unprofessional of me, I don’t even know where that came from. I’m sorry. If you want to report me to HR for harassment I understand.” Victoria kept her eyes on the ground, too terrified to see the anger that was definitely going to be on Cassie’s face.
Fucking hell what is wrong with me. I practically assaulted her when she was just trying to be nice. One hot mom calls me baby and I’m fucking moaning at her? God I am pathetic.
“Victoria, I’m not going to report you, baby.” Cassie’s tone was clipped, the last word slipping out like she wasn’t actually meant to say it.
Victoria’s head snapped up, her eyes finding Cassie’s face. They stared at each other for a few seconds. Cassie’s jaw clenched once again, her eyes flicking between Victoria’s eyes and her lips. Victoria lips parted slightly, tongue flicking out to wet them. Cassie tracked the movement.
“Cassie”, Victoria practically whined at her, taking the smallest of steps closer into the red heads space.
Cassie lifted her face to the ceiling, eyes closing, and exhaled through her nose. Victoria took another step closer, practically chest to chest with other woman. Cassie kept her face to the ceiling, exhaling deeply through her nose. Victoria’s hands found their way back to the collar of Cassie’s jacket.
“Cassie, please.” Okay she had definitely whined this time. Victoria was practically begging and she had no clue what she was even begging for.
Cassie finally dropped her face down. She opened her eyes to find Victoria so close in her space that she could see the lighter spots in her eyes, she could feels the hot pants of breathe on her face. Because, yes, Victoria Javardi was there panting and whining and Cassie hadn’t even laid a hand on her yet. Cassie closed her eyes again for second, before opening them again and nodding once to herself.
“Fuck it” and then Cassie was surging forward. One hand landing on Victoria’s jaw, the other knotting in dark hair.
There was nothing gentle about the kiss, Cassie was consuming her. The hand in Victoria’s hair gave a light tug, she moaned right into Cassie’s mouth. The hand in her hair pulled again, pulling their mouths apart and exposing Victoria’s neck. Cassie’s mouth trailed wet, open mouthed kisses down the column of her neck, her other hand slipping from Victoria’s jaw and sliding down to her waist. Each swipe of Cassie’s tongue drew another moan out of Victoria, getting increasingly louder.
“Shh baby someone’s going to hear you” Cassie murmured into her neck, ending her sentence with a scrape of teeth along Victoria’s throat. Victoria moaned again.
“Be a good girl and quiet down for me baby” Cassie’s hand that was occupied in Victoria’s hair slipped under the young woman’s scrub top, toying with the waistband of her pants. Cassie pulled her head back, looking at Victoria for a moment as her fingers started to slip under the waistband and into the top of her panties.
“Say you want this.”
Victoria was nodding before Cassie had even finished her sentence. Pushing the other woman’s hand further into her panties.
Cassie stilled, “Use your words, sweetheart”
“God yes, Cassie please”
Cassie smirked, dropping her down between slick folds.
“So wet and I’ve barely touched you” Cassie light out a light chuckle, fingers gentle circling Victoria’s clit. Another moan tore through Victoria, her hand coming up and clamping over her own mouth.
A knock came at the supply closet door, Victoria and Cassie both freezing immediately.
“Finish up in there you two! Rounds are starting.” Dana’s voice came through the door.
Cassie, still with a hand in Victoria’s pants, looked over shoulder and called back.
“Coming!”
Cassie straightened up, and slowly pulled her hand from between Victoria’s legs. Brining her fingers to her own mouth, she sucked once. Moaning, she pulled her fingers from her mouth, smiled at Victoria.
“So fucking wet for me.”
Cassie turned and slipped out the supply closet door, leaving Victoria trying to catch her breath. She looked at her watch 7:05am.
This was going to be a long fucking shift.