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It started mostly because they were bored, and they knew better than to let Pete stay bored for long periods of time.
That's why they went along with Pete’s idea of fun, which mostly just appeared to be him being nosy, and asking questions.
“So,” Pete said, looking as though he was trying very hard not to rub his hands together in glee. “Patrick, are you a virgin? And if not, who did you lose it to?”
Patrick, having expected this at one point or another during the night, just groaned. “It's none of your business, but seeing as you’ll bug me if I don't tell you, no, I'm not. I was fifteen, and it was with a girl, and that's all you need to know.
Pete’s face fell. “You lost it before you met me? Okay but what about--have you ever been fucked by a dude?”
Patrick had already gone back to playing his Game Boy, though, and didn't answer. There were a few moments of silence, during which Pete’s face fell even further, and just as it looked like Pete was going to start sulking properly, Joe patted him on the back sympathetically.
"Well," he said encouragingly, "you may not have gotten Patrick's virginity but you got mine at least. That counts for something, right?"
Patrick and Andy stared at him as Pete appeared to perk up just a bit, and finally Andy broke the awkward silence and spoke. "What do you mean he got your virginity--when did that happen?"
Joe waved his hand, appearing unconcerned. "Oh, you know--I was fifteen and driving Pete around, and we were bored so I gave him a blowjob and then he fucked me in the backseat of the van. Afterwards he pulled his pants back up and slapped my ass, told me good job, but to get moving, he wanted ice cream. Good times."
Pete looked stricken. "That was your first time? Shit, Duck Hunt, you should've told me--I would've made it special."
Joe shrugged, "eh, I didn't mind. And who else can say that Pete Wentz fucked them and then took them out for ice cream and blowjobs before they went to a concert?" He paused, tilting his head thoughtfully. "On second thought, don't answer that."
Patrick wrinkled his nose as dropped his Game Boy back on the bed, his arms folded across his chest. "This conversation has made me more and more glad that I didn't lose my virginity to you, Pete, because seriously. At least my date had class and didn't spank me after sex."
"Oh, so he did it during, then? Cause I could do that for you if you--"
"Please stop talking so I don't have to punch you," Patrick said, and Pete obligingly shut up, as Andy sidled up to Joe, appearing vaguely concerned, but also interested.
Before Andy could say anything to him, though, Patrick had to go and ruin it.
“Anyways, at least now I know why Joe knows how to give blowjobs,” and that made Joe freeze, glancing up at Patrick and making throat cutting motion as Pete’s eyes widened and he turned to Joe accusingly.
“You had sex with Patrick?”
“Listen, it's a free country and you were off flirting with some girl and you left us alone in the van--what did you think would happen?”
“Not sex, that's for sure!” Pete turned back to Patrick. “Please tell me you didn't lose your virginity to Joe.”
Patrick was flushed, and appeared to be studying his nails closely. “Okay--Joe didn't fuck me in the back of the van when we were sixteen, and he definitely didn't give me my first blowjob and he definitely didn't let me fuck him a few days later."
Pete made a wheezy noise, not unlike the one the old van made when it was refusing to start.
When it was clear that he had been stunned speechless, Andy wrapped an arm around Joe.
“So,” he said slowly, “looks like I'm the only one who hasn't had sex with you…”
Joe grinned at him. “Wanna fix that? Cause I’m free right now, and it's a great boredom stopper.”
Patrick saved his game and turned his Game Boy off. “Can I join you,” he asked, perfectly polite. “My batteries are low and Andy has really nice hands.”
Pete made another noise, although this one sounded more like a whimper, as Andy smiled slowly and reached out to grab Patrick’s wrist to pull him closer, as Joe looked remarkably smug.
It was only then Pete snapped out of it, spluttering.
“Okay, there's no way I'm letting all of you have sex without me--no one's having sex unless I'm invited.”
Joe looked up at Pete from under his lashes, and said, faux coyly, “didn't you know? You've always been invited in my case. There's a party in my pants and you've got an engraved invitation.
He then flopped back on the bed and laughed, purely because of the stunned look on Pete’s face, although he stopped fairly quickly when Patrick took that as a cue to straddle his lap, shooting Pete a Look.
“You gonna join us or what? Cause that's all you're gonna get from us, in terms of an invite.”
Pete shut his mouth, and joined them on the bed.
Turns out that Andy’s hands were just as awesome as Patrick thought they'd be.
