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They’d discovered the kink by accident.
One night after a run gone wrong ended up with three people dead, Rick and Daryl decided to reconfirm their status among the living by having vigorous, enthusiastic sex. Rick pounded into Daryl from behind as if their very lives depended on the strength he was able to put into nailing Daryl’s prostate. Damn, but he’d gotten good at that in the months since their first awkward tumble.
Daryl was thankful, not for the first time, that the bed was screwed to the floor. Otherwise, the scrape of the metal frame traveling across the floor with every rough thrust would have woken half the prison – if the sounds of Rick’s loud groans didn’t have them awake already.
Afterwards, they’d just collapsed, naked and sated, on their shared bed and fell quickly to sleep, Daryl on his stomach buried underneath Rick.
It wasn’t until some hours later that Daryl realized Rick had never pulled out. He came to this realization when Rick started circling his hips and mouthing at Daryl’s neck, neither yet fully awake. Daryl was amazed how quickly his cock hardened and started thrusting his hips, pushing into the mattress under them, then back up into Rick. He eased one knee further up the mattress to give Rick more access and turned his head to plant a kiss to Rick’s lips. Rick dove in to Daryl’s mouth with his tongue, then moved off to bite his lower lip.
Daryl’s neck strained at the angle, so he turned his head back to lay on top of his arms. “Good morning to you, too,” he growled out.
“This is . . . Oh, God!” Rick said, coming fully awake and becoming horrified that he was taking advantage of Daryl. His sleepwalking was mostly under control now, he thought. This was something new and not at all pleasant. “Did I just start sleep fucking you?” He started to pull out and Daryl quickly reached back to keep him in place.
“Yeah, you did. And it’s pretty much the hottest thing that’s ever happened and if you stop, I will kill you.”
“Okay, okay,” Rick said, speeding up his hips.
Daryl pushed up onto his forearms and gasped in a breath.
“Am I squishing you?” Rick asked.
“A little, but I like it.”
“You do?” Rick asked skeptically. He knew Daryl didn’t particularly enjoy being touched, unless it was Rick doing the touching. But even then, he always wanted advance warning a touch was going to happen.
One time, Rick had thought he’d impress Daryl with all the silent walking skills he’d learned and snuck up on him while Daryl had been crouching behind a tree, waiting for a deer to cross by. Rick had put a hand on Daryl’s shoulder from behind and been instantly swept to the ground by Daryl’s leg. Daryl hadn’t even apologized.
“What the fuck are you sneakin’ up on me for?!,” Daryl had said angrily, helping Rick back up. “I thought you was a walker!”
So, Rick had known from then on that he needed to announce himself well before any touching occurred, just to be on the safe side.
“Yeah,” Daryl said, a bit surprised himself. “It makes me feel really, I don’t know, like calm or something.”
“I don’t know if ‘calm’ is what we are going for here,” Rick said, thrusting his hips more forcefully.
“I’m goin’ for whatever works, so shut the fuck up and lay on me,” Daryl said with a hint of irritation.
“Sir, yes sir,” Rick said sarcastically, but did as Daryl asked and took a bit more pressure off his arms and spread his weight over Daryl’s back instead.
Daryl groaned and came instantly, which made Rick come, too. That time, he remembered to pull out and collapsed next to Daryl face up. “So. . .” he said, looking over at Daryl hesitantly. “Hot?”
“So hot,” Daryl said fervently and reached over to grab Rick’s head and drag him into a kiss. “Breakfast?” he asked casually, and got up to dress and start the day.
Rick followed his lead and tried to ignore the persistent, gnawing feelings he had. He’d been into it in the moment, but the more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable he became.
They split up for their separate duties for the day and each worked hard – Daryl hunting outside the fence and Rick weeding his ever-growing garden.
That night, they curled up as usual, in their customary position with Rick as the big spoon with one hand over Daryl’s steadily beating heart. They routinely talked about their day in the dark before going to sleep. After a few minutes of conversation, there was a lull. Rick hitched a breath as if to speak, but nothing came out.
“Out with it,” Daryl grumbled.
“It’s just, are you sure that was okay this morning?” Rick asked. “It’s been buggin’ me all day. It’s not like I really gave you an opportunity to say yes or no.”
“Did I not tell you it was the hottest thing ever?”
“You did,” Rick agreed, “but . . . “
“But nothin’. You think too fuckin’ much.”
Rick persevered. He’d been thinking about this all day and if he couldn’t talk about with his lover in the safe darkness of their cell, he never would be able to. “I can’t tell you how many lectures I listened to on the force about rape. ‘No means no’ seems easy on the surface of it, but there’s more to it than that. An absence of no is not the same as yes. If someone is under the influence and not able to really think, it’s no even if it’s yes. A yes yesterday is not the same as a yes today. It’s not some sort of unlimited pass.”
“Rick,” Daryl said, pulling Rick’s arm more tightly around himself, “You didn’t do nothin’ I didn’t want you to do. You pretty much have that unlimited pass.”
Rick broke away and back up until his back hit the wall. “Don’t say that. No one has that power over you.”
Daryl rolled over to look at Rick. It was clear he was going to have to walk through this with him step by step. “You’re saying I have the power to say yes or no at any time?”
“You do,” Rick said, biting on his bottom lip.
“And you know I’m a good sight stronger’n you, right?”
Rick rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you’re strong.”
“Was I drunk?”
“No,” Rick said, starting to see the point Daryl was getting at.
“Were you holdin’ a gun to my head?”
“No.”
“So, I could’a stopped you at any point, right?”
“Well . . .” Rick started, then noticed Daryl’s severe glare. “I guess.”
“I could’a,” Daryl reaffirmed. “I didn’t ‘cause I didn’t need to. Didn’t want to.” He reached a hand to brush over Rick’s cheek. “I love you. I trust you. I ain’t worried you’re gonna hurt me. And just let me say again in no uncertain terms, it was the hottest fuck of my life.”
Rick let out a shaky, relieved sigh. “I love you, too.”
“I know you do. I don’t ever question it. You shouldn’t neither. And you know I ain’t lyin’ when I say I will never have a problem tellin’ you if you do somethin’ to piss me off.”
“I know that’s true,” Rick said, thinking back to all the times Daryl had told him off for one reason or another.
“So, believe me when I say that, if it happens again, it’s cause I want it to happen. Speakin’ a which --” Daryl rolled over to his stomach and dragged Rick on top of him.
“I don’t get how you like this when you can barely stand me touchin’ you half the time,” Rick said, but easily complied with Daryl’s unspoken order.
“I don’t get it either,” Daryl said with a groan as Rick laid his full weight on him. “It just feels good. And you know you like knowin’ I’m alive. You sure as fuck feel me now.”
“That’s true,” Rick conceded. “I don’t wanna suffocate you, though.”
“Just ease a bit off to the side,” Daryl said, wiggling a little bit. “There.” Daryl pillowed his head on his arms and fell asleep almost instantly.
Rick finally felt the circular conversations he’d been having with himself all day drift away and followed.
They didn’t use their new sleeping position every night, but whenever Daryl had had a bad day, something about being squeezed underneath Rick seemed to calm him.
And if, occasionally, Daryl encouraged Rick not to pull out after they’d had sex, Rick was not going to say anything about it. Feeling Daryl’s heartbeat reminded him that they were alive and safe. Being buried in him to the hilt was even better.