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“Why, Theo, why did you have to be so dumb?” Liam asked through broken sobs, clutching the bloodied chimera in his lap.
It was supposed to be an easy mission. Get in, get some information about a possible threat, and get out. No one was supposed to know that Liam and Theo were there. The hunters weren’t supposed to be there. They were supposed to be all the way across Beacon Hills, distracted by Scott, Derek, and the rest of the pack. Liam and Theo were supposed to both make it out unscathed and alive.
“Scott! Scott, where are you?” Liam yelled, voice already hoarse from previous attempts to call for his alpha, or for Stiles, or anyone. But no one came.
The pack had come as fast as they could when the distraction didn’t work, but there had been so many hunters that night that it just made Liam feel completely alone. Only he and Theo, both of them bloodied and bruised, Theo worse for wear, all because he had to cover Liam.
“You’re gonna be okay, Theo, you’re gonna be okay,” Liam mumbled over and over into Theo’s hair, crusted with blood from a head wound, a strike from a pipe that should have been dealt to Liam.
“I'm not Liam. I’m not.” Theo sounded terrible, blood spilling from his lips, black and silver like mercury; some kind of wolfsbane poisoning, already past the point of no return. But Liam didn’t care; he wanted to keep fighting even if Theo wanted to give up.
“Don’t. Don’t say that, Theo, you’re gonna be fine.” Liam tried to convince Theo, but he also wanted to convince himself, yet he knew the chimera didn't believe him.
“Liam, listen to me. Listen to my heartbeat. I’m. Not. Going. To. Make. It.” Theo sputtered, trying to sound serious, as serious as he could be when he was riddled with bullet holes and wounds that weren't healing, no matter how much pain Liam took from him.
Liam listened to each beat as even as the last, no upticks or irregularities. Theo was sure that he was going to die. Liam listened again to Theo's heartbeat; it was slower than before, slower than it should be. Each pause in between beats was getting longer. Liam was sure that Theo was going to die now.
A figure ran in front of them, almost missing the bloody sight of Theo and Liam completely. But that’s typical when the figure weilds a bat and is named Stiles.
“Stiles!” Liam shouts, unable to move with Theo cradled in his lap, Stiles whipped his attention over to the bloody corner.
“Liam, oh my god,” Stiles says with his usual dramatics.
“Stiles, you have to get Scott. Theo needs another person to take his pain so he can heal.” Liam begged through more sobs.
“Yeah, I’ll find him. Just hang tight.” And just like that, Stiles was gone. As soon as he had appeared, Stiles was gone. Liam almost thought that he had imagined the whole thing, delirious from his own blood loss.
Liam waited, and waited. Still clutching Theo in his arms, his heart beat was growing slower, and slower.
“He’s not coming back, you know,” Theo mumbled as more blood seeped into the ground like the pavement was thirsty for more.
“You don’t know that, maybe he can't find Scott, he’ll be back any second, you just have to hold on.” Liam pleaded.
“Do you think that if Stiles of all people had the chance to let me die, you think he’d let me live?” Theo laughed, making the bullet holes that perforated his lungs wheeze with escaping air.
“Is that really what you want your last words to be? That you think someone would let you die. Theo, I’m not letting you die.” Liam cried as he finally let the tears he was holding back fall, mixing with the blood that covered them both, and dropped onto the ever-hungry ground.
“You’re wrong, it’s just, I wanted my last words to be…” Theo trailed off; the only sound heard was a raspy breath. A sigh as Theo’s body relaxed, his head lolled back to the point of being uncomfortable.
“Theo,” Liam’s voice broke the newfound silence Theo, wake up, this isn't funny,” Liam pleaded, shaking Theo as if any amount of movement would jump-start his heart again. “I need to say-” A sob broke through. “I need to say that, Theo, I love you.”
But what Liam said fell on deaf ears-dead ears. Liam listened again, going as far as to put his own ear to Theo's chest, and hearing silence. His own blood loss had started to take effect, and Liam’s vision grew darker and darker. Until it was black
____________________
On the day of the funeral, Liam dressed nicely, wearing the same suit he had worn to his grandfather’s funeral. His mom helped him fix the collar and tie. Then she handed Liam a small bouquet, three dark crimson roses, that made Liam’s breath hitch.
Liam remembered that dark red, soaking his clothes as he held Theo, and he remembered, as he watched that dark red run down the shower drain the next morning. But no amount of water and soap could wash away that night, like a pesky stain on your favorite shirt that won't go away. No amount of time could make Liam forget, Theo.
Theo’s funeral wasn’t held in any building of any denomination, because Theo wouldn't have wanted that. Theo wasn’t buried in any graveyard because he wouldn't have wanted that. But rather, he was buried in a plot of land owned by the Hale family, alone, only shaded by a large maple tree.
During the funeral, Scott said a few words that could be summed up as: he was my friend, he was my enemy, he was my ally, he was my ‘friend’.
The only person who really wanted to be there was Liam. Mason was only at the funeral to comfort Liam, Corey was only there because Mason was, Scott was only there because Liam hadn’t said a word since Theo died, and Derek was only there because his family owned the land. Liam saw Malia hiding in the tree line. The coyote poked her snout out of the bushes every so often. Stiles didn't even show; Liam didn’t want to see him, because it would be fight-on-sight.
Long after Theo was buried, his pine box covered in the same hungry ground that wanted him so badly, Liam sat in the fresh dirt staring not at a grave stone, because there wasn't one, but rather at where it would be. It all felt incomplete, not enough but all too much, and definitely all too soon.
____________________
Liam visited Theo every Saturday, sometimes declining plans entirely just to sit under the tree that shaded his grave. Some days Liam talked, some days he cried, some days he was silent like he was waiting for Theo to start the conversation or make a snarky remark about how quiet he was being, but every time there was silence, Liam cried.
Liam found a job with one main goal: to give Theo a headstone. Only having Theo’s name carved into the stone felt incomplete again. So Liam paid extra, even though Theo would have hated it, for a small engraving of a wolf. Liam didn’t know when Theo was born, so the headstone felt incomplete, nonetheless. Only bearing the words Theodore Raeken, born, left blank, died May 12th, 2018, under all was the picture of the wolf.
When Liam left for college at the end of summer, only a few months later, it felt like Theo was dying all over again. Visiting Theo randomly throughout the week, or sometimes a couple times a day, was what kept Liam going. Whenever he needed a break, Theo was always free.
____________________
As everyone had told him, “time will make it easier,” and Liam wanted to believe them, he really did, but it had been over a year now, and Liam still found it difficult. Getting out of bed, going to classes, trying to find time to be an actual person. It was all too much, and his days started to blend together with no real beginning or end.
It was another hard day for Liam; he woke up late, rushed to his second class, missing his first, and couldn't eat for the life of him. Liam didn’t understand why. He was doing so well last week and the week before that. It was only when he checked the date on his phone that he realized. It’s been two years. Two years since Theo Reaken died in Liam's arms. Two years have passed since Liam's confession fell on dead ears.
That night, Mason and Corey went out for drinks and to bring back some food, in hopes that they could get Liam to eat. Instead of going out to drown his sorrows in wolfsbane-poisoned alcohol, Liam was lounging on the couch of their shared apartment, crying, with trash TV buzzing in the background so that maybe the neighbors won't hear him through the paper-thin walls. Liam heard a knock at the door that sobered him up from his tears.
“Mase, did you forget your keys again?” Liam sniffled, only to get no response. “Mason? Corey?”
Liam stopped in his tracks, not by a sound but by a smell, soap Liam’s smelled that soap before. He smelled that scent when he and Stiles stalked Theo into the preserve, and he smelled that soap as he cried, burying his face into Theo’s hair, mumbling reassurances that he was going to be okay.
“Theo?” Liam rasped, a flood of emotions swept through him, and he felt one after another after another. Happiness, confusion, but Liam’s one true emotion is anger.
Liam flung the door open like a child ripping away the paper on their birthday present, revealing their gift. But Liam wasn't filled with excitement like a child receiving a birthday gift; rather, the anger that someone would feel if they had been lied to for two years.
“Hey, Li-” Theo greets with his ever-perfect smile, as if they hadn't been stained by blood two years ago. Only to be cut off by Liam’s swift, straight swing to his nose. Liam felt as cartilage crunched. Theo reeled back, bracing himself on the wall behind him. “Yeah, I think I deserve that,” Theo chutched his broken nose, blood seeping through his fingers.
“Two years!” Liam yelled, not caring if his neighbors heard him now. “Two years, Theo. Where the hell have you been?” Liam seethed, voice breaking with every syllable.
“I know that whatever explanation I give you isn't gonna be good enough, so if you want me to, I’ll just leave,” Theo said, hanging his head like a child being reprimanded.
Without a word, Liam pulled Theo into a deep and strong hug. It only took Theo a moment to rejoice, and he welcomed Liam’s tears that soaked his shoulder, just as Liam welcomed the blood that soaked his.
“I heard what you said, Liam, before you know,” Theo mumbled into Liam's shoulder.
“Before you died?” Liam said sarcastically. “I feel so stupid now,” he said, shaking his head, letting Theo go.
“Don’t be Liam I-”
“Maybe it’s better if you just go,” Liam said in a broken whisper. He turned back to his apartment when Theo caught him by the wrists.
“Liam, please, I don’t- I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you again. I didn't the first time, and I don’t want to now,” pleaded Theo. He made Liam face him, and he planted his hands on Liam's shoulders. “I didn’t want to leave Liam, I didn’t.”
Liam listened to Theo’s heartbeat, no upticks, no irregularities, just the steady beat of a dead man’s heart. “You’re not lying.” Liam managed.
“I’m not,” Theo smiled, making the dried blood on his lips crack. “Am I lying when I say that, that night I wanted to kiss you?” Theo stepped forward, closing the distance.
“No, you’re not lying,” Liam said in a hushed whisper, caring again if his neighbors heard them.
Then Liam closed the small gap between them, getting ever so closer with a kiss. Soft and gentle but so prominently desperate. A kiss could say a lot of things: I love you, I missed you, I thought you were dead for two fucking years, where the hell have you been? Liam hoped he conveyed it all.
“You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” Liam said when they finally broke apart.
“Let me guess, two years?” said Theo, planting a kiss on Liam’s jaw.
“Oh, longer than that,” Liam hummed. “We should probably get back inside. I don't know when Mason and Corey are getting back.” Liam said as he returned another kiss.
It felt unreal, maybe because it was, and Liam was just devolving into psychosis. Or maybe Theo really did come back from the dead. Liam couldn't tell what was real. But what he did know was real was that he loved Theo, and maybe Theo loved him. And when he wakes up tomorrow morning, maybe it’ll be on the couch with a take-out container of cold food in front of him and the TV still on. Or maybe he’ll wake in his bed, with Theo’s arms wrapped around him and the familiar smell of his soap lingering in the air.