Chapter Text
Jax woke up slowly.
At first he didn’t know why.
The room was warm. The blanket was heavier than the thin, regulation circus ones in his own room, and something faintly floral — Pomni’s natural scent — clung to the pillow under his cheek. He stayed there for a second, eyes still closed, letting himself drift in that unfamiliar, fragile feeling of comfort.
Then his arm shifted across the mattress.
Nothing.
His eyes opened.
He turned his head.
Empty.
The indentation beside him was still there, slightly warm, but Pomni was gone.
Immediately his brain went to the worst place possible.
He pushed himself up on one elbow.
“Pom-Pom?”
No answer.
The door was cracked open, a thin sliver of hallway light cutting across the floorboards. The quiet in the room suddenly didn’t feel peaceful anymore. It felt wrong. Like the circus after an adventure ended — too still, like something had been taken.
They’d fallen asleep talking. About nothing and everything. Music they both barely remembered but somehow knew the words to, the backstage piano room, the dumb what-ifs they liked to pretend were possible. What they’d eat first if they ever left. Whether sunsets looked the same outside.
At some point she’d leaned into him, hesitant at first, like she expected him to shove her away.
He hadn’t.
He wasn’t supposed to care this much about waking up alone.
This whole thing was supposed to be casual. A you use me, I use you arrangement. Either one of them could walk away if it got to heavy. To real.
At the start she’d just been entertainment — the new girl, the walking anxiety attack, someone easy to tease to pass the endless time. Another toy in his personal collection of distractions.
Then she got too close.
And he did what he always did.
He pushed her away.
Mocked her, denied everything, laughed it off, told her to stop looking at him like she understood something she couldn’t possibly understand.
That should’ve ended it.
Anyone else would’ve backed off.
Pomni didn’t.
She stayed.
And by digital god she kept looking.
Through every sharp comment, every carefully timed joke, every time he pretended he didn’t remember the music room or the way she held his sleeve after nightmares, she kept choosing to stand next to him. Not scared of him — scared for him.
Little by little she pried apart the mask he’d spent forever perfecting.
And...
He let her.
She made a home in the hollow spaces he never let anyone see, filling quiet corners of his thoughts until she was there even when she wasn’t. Until waking up without her beside him felt wrong in a way the circus never had.
And Jax realized, with a slow tightening in his chest, this was exactly why he’d never wanted someone to matter.
But.....even he couldn’t walk away from this.
Worst of all, he didn’t want too.
----
After having his existential-crisis moment, Jax slowly sat up, swinging his legs off the bed and dropping his elbows onto his knees. He buried his face in his hands and let out a long, heavy sigh.
He felt exhausted.
Not the kind sleep fixed — the kind that lived behind his ribs.
Rubbing his face, he muttered groggily,
“Okay, cool… love waking up to mild panic.”
The door handle clicked.
He froze.
The door opened slowly and Pomni slipped inside, carefully easing it shut behind her like she was afraid even the sound might wake someone. She leaned back against it, eyes closed, breathing a little heavier than normal.
Jax noticed immediately.
She looked worn down — not just sleepy, but drained. One hand rested absentmindedly over her stomach, thumb gently rubbing small circles like she didn’t even realize she was doing it.
Pomni stretched her arms over her head, trying to wake herself up.
Her oversized sleep shirt lifted just slightly.
Jax stopped moving.
His breath caught in his throat.
There it was — small, soft, but unmistakable now.
Her baby bump.
Not late-night conversations anymore. Not hypothetical. Not something they could ignore tomorrow.
This was real.
Jax’s chest tightened so suddenly it almost hurt.
For once, he didn’t have a sarcastic comment ready.
Pomni opened her eyes and noticed him staring.
She jumped.
“—Jax! I-I thought you were asleep!”
Her hands quickly tugged her shirt back down over the pink striped boxers she’d “borrowed” from him.
“Sorry — I didn’t mean to wake you.”
He didn’t answer right away. He just looked at her like the world had shifted and only he felt it.
After a quiet beat he finally said, low,
“…You left.”
Not accusing. Just tense.
She shuffled toward the bed, clearly bone-tired.
“I felt nauseous again. So I went for a walk. I didn’t want to wake you.”
She climbed back into bed, curling onto her side, already sinking into the pillows.
Jax watched her settle in before speaking.
“You should’ve woken me.”
She gave a weak, sleepy chuckle.
“You get really grumpy when you wake up.”
He smirked faintly.
“I do not get grumpy. I get in character.” He placed a dramatic hand on his chest.
Pomni gave him a flat, unimpressed stare.
“You threatened to toss Gangle into the digital lake because they looked at you weird.”
“Hey! They shouldn’t have looked my way.”
“She only has two expressions.”
“…Yeah well.”
She smiled softly — but it faded when she noticed how quiet he’d gotten again… and how his eyes kept drifting back to her stomach.
Pomni gently poked his shoulder.
“…Jax?”
He didn’t answer at first. Instead, he shifted closer to her on the bed.
His gaze flicked down again.
“…It’s bigger.”
Pomni rested her hand over it.
“Yeah.”
A quiet stretched between them.
“You feelin' okay?” he asked.
“I mean… I guess.”
“What’s that mean?” he said, brow raising.
“It’s just morning sickness. And I’m tired all the time,” she admitted softly.
Jax gave a small huff.
“You look like $h!t”
“I feel like $h!t.”
Normally he would’ve followed that with a smug comment.
Instead, he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.
“…This is actually happening,” he muttered.
Pomni understood instantly.
He wasn’t scared of the baby.
He was scared of caring. Of losing.
Of finally having something that mattered.
So she did something bold.
She gently took his wrist and guided his hand toward her stomach.
Jax tensed.
“Pom—”
She smiled warmly and squeezed his wrist.
“You won’t hurt anything.”
He frowned quietly.
“That’s not what I’m worried about.”
But he didn’t pull away.
His palm rested there, stiff at first.
Just warmth beneath the fabric.
Just her slow breathing.
His voice dropped, softer than she’d ever heard it.
“…I’m not exactly qualified for this.”
“Me either,” she said gently. “But you stayed.”
He glanced at her.
“You didn’t at first… but you came back. You didn’t make me handle it alone.”
Her thumb brushed over his knuckles.
“That’s already enough.”
His eyes stayed fixed where his hand rested.
“…You sure you want me doing this with you?”
There it was.
The real question beneath every joke he ever made.
Pomni scooted closer and leaned her forehead lightly against his shoulder.
“I didn’t pick you because I didn’t have other options,” she whispered.
“I picked you because you care — even when you try really hard not to. You’re there when it matters.”
She gently motioned for him to look at her.
He did.
Pomni leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
Not dramatic.
Not rushed.
Just reassurance.
Jax went still — then slowly exhaled a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.
His fingers shifted slightly over the small curve of her stomach.
“…I’m still gonna be bad at this,” he murmured.
Pomni giggled softly.
“So am I.”
He let out a quiet breath.
“…Okay,” he said, voice softer than usual.
“Then we’ll just be bad together.”
Pomni laughed under her breath and relaxed into his side.
This time, Jax’s arm wrapped around her automatically, pulling her gently against his chest — protective without thinking.
After a moment of peace he added quietly,
“If you go on another nausea walk without waking me… I’m coming with you.”
“But you hate mornings.”
“I hate worrying more.”
“…Okay.”
Pomni settled under his chin, her breathing slowly evening as exhaustion pulled her under.
But Jax didn’t sleep.
Not for a while.
He kept his hand resting over hers on her stomach, like if he moved it the moment would disappear. The circus still existed — chaos, adventures, Caine — but in this quiet room something finally felt real.
“…This is ours,” he murmured.
Pomni, half asleep, smiled.
And Jax stayed awake just to make sure she’d still be there when she opened her eyes again.