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“What has gotten into you?” Matthew laughs, sticking his elbow into Gunwook’s gut a little too forcefully, his voice taking on an annoyed lilt. “Quit it, I’m working on something.”
Gunwook isn’t too proud to know when he’s pushed too far. He’s been trying to get Matthew’s attention since he arrived at Matthew’s bedroom door. Freshly showered and anxiety sitting like a stone in the bottom of his gut. His hands were shaky the first time he tried to get Matthew to look his way, perched on the edge of Matthew’s bed and prodding Matthew where he’s sitting in his desk chair, editing some video for whatever content the company has agreed to let him put out.
The third time he tried to get Matthew’s attention, Gunwook stood up. Wrapped himself around the back of Matthew’s chair, trying to coax him out with body heat. Matthew stuck his elbow into Gunwook’s gut and acted annoyed, temper rapidly shortening.
What has gotten into Gunwook?
He sits back down on the edge of Matthew’s bed, dropping to his back, staring at the ceiling. There’s a humiliating pressure behind his eyes. Almost shameful. Like he’s going to cry because his boyfriend told him no.
The heels of his palms press into his eyes, willing back the spill. He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He’s too old to act like this, no matter how many times Matthew tells him it’s okay for men to cry. Gunwook knows that. He’s just not the type to cry without good reason. He feels like it’s not earned tonight. He swallows down the bile in his throat.
“Now you’re going to be quiet?” Matthew snorts. He’s being a little mean. He’ll regret it in a second, Gunwook knows.
Gunwook doesn’t bother to respond, too busy focusing on his own breathing.
He hears Matthew’s chair creak when he turns. Gunwook drops his hands from his face, meeting Matthew’s eyes. Matthew’s expression has shifted from the intense focus he was pointing towards the computer to a soft, pinched iteration of concern. He frowns. His eyebrows pull together.
“What’s wrong, Gunwook-ah?” he asks, reaching out to set his hand on Gunwook’s knee. There’s the regret Gunwook expected. Matthew’s palm is warm.
“Nothing,” Gunwook lies.
“Baby…” Matthew looks at him condescendingly.
Gunwook shrugs.
Matthew sighs. He pulls his headphones off his head, turning in his chair just to drop them on the desk. He gets up, standing above Gunwook and patting his thigh. “Scoot,” he orders.
He has Gunwook well trained. Gunwook immediately follows directions, pulling himself fully onto the bed so his legs are supported. He brings his hands up in preparation to support Matthew before Matthew even climbs into his lap, straddling his hips. Matthew lowers himself like he’s going to kiss Gunwook, but he stops short, palms flat on Gunwook’s chest, just out of reach.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he demands.
Gunwook swallows, squeezing his eyes shut. He can’t look at Matthew and admit what he’s feeling at the same time. He’s too embarrassed.
“MAMA is tomorrow,” he croaks. He hisses when Matthew slides his hands up to cup his face.
“Mhm,” Matthew hums, encouraging. His lips graze Gunwook’s chin. His jaw.
Gunwook grabs Matthew’s thighs, fingers squeezing flesh to try to keep himself grounded. “It’s stupid, hyung.”
“Gunwookie…” Matthew warns, breath hot on Gunwook’s neck.
“I’m nervous about—” Gunwook chokes when Matthew kisses him, right over his pulse point. “I’m going to be shirtless—” he finally blurts, breathless.
Matthew stops kissing him. He backs up, bed shaking with the jerkiness of his movement. Gunwook peels open his eyes, clenching his jaw to try to bear the embarrassment.
“You’re worried about being shirtless at MAMA?” Matthew asks, still cradling Gunwook’s cheek in his hand.
Gunwook is blushing now. A furious burn. He nods.
Matthew’s eyebrows raise. “Gunwook-ah…” he says, tongue curling around the last syllable. “It was your idea…”
“I know. I told you it was stupid.”
“It’s not stupid, baby. It’s how you feel,” Matthew says. He takes a deep breath through his nose, running his hands down Gunwook’s shoulders, and then his chest. His stomach. Back up again. “Poor thing. You must have been making yourself sick all day.”
Gunwook whines— a twisted thing in the back of his throat. He squirms under Matthew’s touch, wishing it were more. Matthew is still teasing him, though. He knows he’ll have to wait until he gets what he wants.
“I’m here now, Gunwook,” Matthew purrs, dropping down again, his nose bumping Gunwook’s. When Gunwook tries to kiss him, Matthew moves out of the way. “I'll make it better, baby.”
“Hyung—” Gunwook complains, palming Matthew’s ass, a sad attempt to get Matthew closer to him. Matthew has stronger resolve than he does, though. It’s a fact of life. A fact of their relationship. Gunwook begs, Matthew teases. Gunwook wants, Matthew gives.
Matthew smiles. A smirk curling up at his lips. He shoves his hands up Gunwook’s shirt, rucking it up right under his armpits. Gunwook raises his arms automatically, waiting for him to take it off, but Matthew lets it sit for a second. “I see you shirtless all the time and you’re fine. Cocky, even,” he teases.
Gunwook frowns. Just as he lowers his arms again, Matthew pulls up. He manages to get Gunwook’s shirt off of him with only a little resistance— Gunwook slow on lifting up again.
“You love me,” Gunwook breathes through the scrape of Matthew’s nails against his bare chest.
“I do,” Matthew agrees. He shifts, moving his ass down Gunwook’s thighs. Gunwook makes a noise of complaint, but it quickly turns to a gasp when Matthew drops down and starts kissing up his stomach. He looks at Gunwook through dark lashes, smirk still hanging to his lips. “They love you too, baby.”
Gunwook pushes a hand through Matthew’s hair, moving it out of his face. “Not the same,” he mutters.
“No.” Matthew’s grin widens. “And that's how I like it.”
Something Gunwook learned about Matthew quickly— practically right after debut— is that he doesn’t like to share. He’s possessive to a fault. It extends to anyone he’s interested in at all. There was that painful few months after debut where Matthew was obsessed with Jiwoong, and anyone that tried to approach was at risk of getting their hands bitten off.
Matthew still won’t tell Gunwook what happened between he and Jiwoong back then. He says it doesn’t matter. Gunwook knows he’s right. What matters is that the second Matthew turned his obsession to Gunwook, he hasn’t wavered. Even when he’s teasing— trying to make Gunwook jealous— Gunwook knows that Matthew is his. He’s Matthew’s. Everyone knows that he’s Matthew’s. Matthew won’t let anyone forget. Not even their fans.
“Park Gunwook, look at me,” Matthew says, snapping Gunwook out of his head.
“I am,” Gunwook says. He licks over his bottom lip, flexing his hand in Matthew’s hair.
“You were zoning out.” Matthew cocks an eyebrow. “You need to pay attention. I’m going to show you that you have nothing to worry about. Can you do that?”
Gunwook nods, all the blood in his body gathering under his navel. He’s so easy where Matthew is concerned.
“Out loud,” Matthew says.
“Yes. God, please, hyung,” Gunwook chokes.
Matthew starts where he is. He traces his hands over each line of Gunwook’s stomach, kissing every spot the tips of his fingers dig into. “You’re so gorgeous, Gunwook-ah,” he breathes. He presses into Gunwook’s abdomen, mouth replacing his hand as soon as Gunwook flexes at the pressure. “Strong,” he says, smiling against Gunwook’s skin.
He flattens his tongue over Gunwook’s navel, licking a stripe up the center of his belly. When he gets to the bottom of Gunwook’s sternum, he stops. His fingers trail up Gunwook’s ribs, blunt nails dragging along his flank. Gunwook shivers. His cock is already filling out, hips twitching every time Matthew leans forward enough that his body grazes over Gunwook’s crotch. It’s maddening, only a second or two of contact before Matthew is gone again. He’s focused on Gunwook elsewhere for now.
“I love your chest. Your shoulders. You’re so big, Gunwook,” Matthew exhales, breath skating over Gunwook’s pec, the hair on the back of Gunwook’s neck pricking. Matthew takes two handfuls of Gunwook’s chest, squeezing until it hurts a little bit. Until Gunwook groans.
“Hyung,” Gunwook chokes, breath stuttering as Matthew noses at the underside of his jaw. “Kiss me.”
“Not yet, honey,” Matthew simpers. He’s full of shit. When he draws back so Gunwook can look at him, he’s beaming. Pleased with himself. “I’ll kiss you when I fuck you. Right now I’m admiring. No distractions.”
Gunwook’s next breath is embarrassingly rattly. His chest shakes from the force of it, straining against Matthew’s hands.
“Everyone is going to love it, Gunwook-ah. You’re so pretty, how could they not?” Matthew runs his hands over Gunwook’s shoulders. Down his arms. He takes time to squeeze each muscle, thumbs caressing the edges.
By the time he’s finished, Gunwook is sweating, beads forming on his upper lip and his hairline. He’s breathing like he just came back from a run. When Matthew finally pushes his fingers under the waistband of his sweatpants, Gunwook moans.
“I know…” Matthew coos.
He lifts himself up onto his knees, pulling his own shirt over his head and tossing it off the bed. He goes back to Gunwook’s pants afterwards, pulling them down slowly, centimeter by centimeter, letting the elastic catch on the swell of Gunwook’s cock. Gunwook lets out a pathetic sob, throwing an arm across his forehead.
“When you’re nervous tomorrow, I want you to think of this,” Matthew says lowly. He yanks Gunwook’s sweats the rest of the way down, leaving them around his ankles. Gunwook’s dick falls heavily against his stomach, painfully hard and leaking over with precum. He kicks his pants off his ankles, eager to give Matthew a full range of motion to work with.
“I’ll get hard on the stage,” Gunwook laughs. It turns into another moan when Matthew touches him, two fingers tracing around the base of his cock. Gunwook’s body aches. The strength of his want hurts. He’d never felt anything like it until he met Matthew, but now he feels it regularly. He likes the way it hurts. He likes waiting for Matthew to give him permission.
“That’s what your dance belt is for,” Matthew clicks his tongue.
Gunwook releases another stupid laugh. “No it’s not.”
“I know.” Matthew hums. He keeps tracing, eyes glued to Gunwook’s dick like he’s studying it. “This is just for me, isn’t it?”
“Yes, hyung.” Gunwook nods a bit too eagerly for his current position. “It’s yours, Cchew.”
Matthew gives Gunwook a pretty smile, eyes knowing. “I love your cock, Gunwook-ah. Fuck, baby…” He finally grabs it, small hand wrapping around him firmly, thumb dragging up the line of wetness drooling down from the tip.
Gunwook knows he has a big dick. He didn’t quite realize how big until he saw it in Matthew’s hand the first time, and Matthew looked at him like he wanted to swallow him whole. Gunwook’s cock looks obscenely thick when Matthew holds it, fingers stretched around the width. Gunwook can barely stand it, even after years.
“Don’t cum yet, I’m not done with you,” Matthew tsks. He flattens a hand over Gunwook’s stomach, pressing into the muscles twitching under his skin. He smirks before he dips down and kisses the head of Gunwook’s cock.
Gunwook honest to god whimpers. He can feel tears pooling in his eyes when Matthew pulls back, lips shiny with Gunwook’s mess. When he runs his tongue over his lips, licking it off.
“Matthew— hyung—” Gunwook chokes, brain dissolving into TV static.
“I know, sweetheart,” Matthew says, almost like he’s talking to a child. He drops Gunwook’s cock all at once, letting it smack against his stomach again. Gunwook jerks underneath him.
Matthew stands up, shedding his pants and underwear in one go, and reaching over to the top drawer in his desk. He’s so casual about it. So confident around Gunwook. Always has been— even in the beginning. Gunwook has always loved that about him.
He tosses a bottle of lube on the bed. The extra wet stuff. Gunwook knows he’s fucked when Matthew settles between his legs, wrenching them further apart. He drags a finger up the inside of Gunwook’s thigh, humming when he gets close to his center. “Hm…” he says, raising his eyebrows at Gunwook. “It looks like someone was doing my work for me.”
Gunwook’s throat hurts when he swallows. “I was trying to relax.”
Matthew laughs at him. It hits Gunwook right in the center of his chest, heart beating out of control and cock spilling another slew of pre-cum. “It didn’t work?” Matthew simpers.
“No.” Gunwook shakes his head. “I needed you.”
“Needed?” Matthew uncaps the lube, slicking himself up with a practiced hand.
“Need,” Gunwook corrects, breath catching. “Matt. Baby. Please.”
Matthew lines himself up. He knows Gunwook’s body well. Knows exactly what the limits are. He knows that Gunwook’s fingers are big, and long, and they’re more than adequate to open himself up. He knows that Gunwook likes when he fucks into him without checking to see if he’s fully stretched first. Gunwook has told Matthew all of it a hundred times over, desperate and blabbering. Reduced to a pile of bone and guts under the weight of Matthew’s eyes.
“I like when you ask nicely,” Matthew says sweetly. He pushes in, just the tip at first. It slides in with a little resistance. Gunwook cries out. “My perfect baby. Fuck, I love you so much,” Matthew exhales, shoving himself the rest of the way in.
He drops forward as soon as he’s inside of Gunwook. Kisses him hard and insistent. It’s so forceful that it takes Gunwook a second to catch up. When he does, he kisses back with the same fervor, warmth blooming from the center of his chest outward as he readjusts to the feeling of Matthew inside of him.
Matthew’s cock is much smaller than Gunwook’s. He’s a little under average, but thick enough for Gunwook to drool. Gunwook has always been incredibly sensitive while bottoming. He gets worked up from just one finger inside of him. Matthew’s cock is more than enough. It fills him up perfectly, curved just right to hit his prostate when they’re face to face.
Like he’s doing right now, drilling into Gunwook with annoying accuracy. Matthew aims for perfection in everything he does. This is no different. He licks into Gunwook’s mouth, tongue intrusive enough that Gunwook chokes a little bit.
Gunwook runs his hands over Matthew’s back. Up and down. To his neck. His face. Anywhere he can reach. He needs this more than he could even comprehend before he asked for it. He feels like a sunflower when he’s receiving Matthew’s sole attention. Blooming bright, and wide, and opening up for him almost desperately. It’s his favorite place to be. Even when he’s the one fucking Matthew, and he’s in the position of the sun— he knows he’s still the flower. Matthew flips the world upside down and occupies the sky, as he’s meant to. Gunwook wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Hyung,” Gunwook manages between sloppy kisses. A tear or two leaks out of his eye. Matthew breathes into his mouth, every thrust sending Gunwook closer to his peak, heat coiling in his gut. “Matthew. Woohyun-ah— fuck— hyung—”
Matthew swears in English. He never lets Gunwook call him by his Korean name unless they’re like this. Both of them entirely unspooled, on the brink of destruction.
“Tell me, Gunwook,” Matthew grunts, his breath wet against Gunwook’s cheek. “Tell me you know you’re beautiful.”
“I know,” Gunwook says, practically on the edge of a wail. He nods. “I know, hyung.”
“Say it, Gunwookie. Use your words.”
“I know I’m beautiful,” Gunwook sobs, a few more tears spilling out.
“Okay, you can cum, baby, you did so well,” Matthew breathes.
Gunwook is shoved over the edge immediately upon being allowed. His body seizes, head thrown back and toes curling. He blacks out for a second, the force of it rolling through him. His cock twitches as he spills over his stomach. Matthew takes pity, taking hold of him to stroke him through it, another wave hitting as soon as he’s touched. Gunwook didn’t know he could cum that much.
He can hear a muffled curse when he squeezes around Matthew, and then he’s empty, and Matthew is hanging over him, working his hand over his own dick until he finishes across Gunwook’s abdomen.
Their cum bleeds together, pooling in the divots of Gunwook’s muscle. Gunwook can only breathe, still coming back into his own head.
Matthew grins at him, chest heaving with exertion, eyes a little glassy. “If I took a picture of you right now, maybe you could see how pretty you are from my point of view.”
“Hyung,” Gunwook complains, making grabby hands. He’s needy after he orgasms.
Matthew laughs. He lifts his hands to his face, shutting one eye and pretending to hold a camera. He makes a shutter noise, tongue against his teeth, before falling forward, completely uncaring of the mess going tacky on Gunwook’s stomach. They’ll both need another shower, anyway.
Gunwook palms Matthew’s ass, humming into his mouth. “Thank you. I’m sorry I bothered you.”
“You never bother me,” Matthew kisses the corner of his lips.
“Don’t lie.”
“I love you,” Matthew says instead of retracting his statement. Saccharine. He smiles so goofily that Gunwook can’t help but laugh.
Gunwook smacks his ass, letting out a long sigh. “I love you too, hyung.”
“You definitely can’t think of this on stage,” Matthew teases.
“No. Definitely not.”
“But, what if you did?”
Matthew giggles maniacally when Gunwook smacks him again, tipping him off his lap.
He definitely will be thinking of this tomorrow. He’ll spend all evening trying not to think about it. It will prove so difficult that he’ll forget to be anxious. Matthew is so good at knowing what he needs it makes Gunwook a little sick.
“I love you,” he says again, because it always bears repeating.
“And I love you, Park Gunwook,” Matthew beams. The sun, laying beneath Gunwook in bed. “Now, kiss me or get lost.”
Gunwook obliges. Matthew has him well trained.