Chapter Text
I've been walking in the moonlight, looking for you
- Jaymes Young
‘So, you know how I’ve basically been a model employee for the past month?’
Jinki sighs as he hears Kibum’s tone of voice. He knows whatever Kibum is about to ask him, he’s going to say yes anyways, but that doesn’t mean he’ll make it easy for him.
‘You mean, if I suddenly develop amnesia and forget about the time you dropped a full cup of iced caramel latte in my lap? Or the time you accidentally forgot to ring up the order for that handsome customer?’ Jinki doesn’t even look up from where he’s busy unloading the industrial dishwasher in the kitchen.
‘Oh, so you thought he was handsome too?’ Kibum’s tone turns teasing with a little edge of curiosity to it. Kibum has momentarily forgotten about whatever he wanted to ask Jinki, in favour of teasing him with this new information.
Jinki hasn’t openly admitted to finding anyone handsome in the last half year so he figures it must be a little surprising to hear him suddenly admit to it so easily. Jinki does a half-hearted attempt at defending himself, even though he knows it’s useless.
‘Yah, I could go on, you know? And that’s completely beside the point, I mean objectively I guess one could say he was handsome.’
Kibum is silent for a bit and Jinki looks up to find him leaning semi-nonchalant against the door post.
‘Ohh I see. You didn’t just think he was handsome, you thought he was attractive.’ He raises one eyebrow and Jinki tries his best to keep his face neutral.
It doesn’t fool Kibum.
Of course not.
‘I’ll tell him you said that when I see him next. Also, I’m taking some leave tomorrow. Pretty please?’ he adds, and Jinki’s eyes turn wider, not putting it past Kibum to do exactly as he’s saying and indeed tell the stranger -who he has now learned is someone Kibum knows- that Jinki finds him not only handsome, but attractive.
‘What?’
Kibum just smirks devilishly, ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’
He saunters off, but not before saying, ‘and by the way, I didn’t forget to ring up his drink. I paid for him!’
Jinki considers going after him but quickly decides against it. Once Kibum has put his mind to something it’s nearly impossible to get him to change his mind. Jinki is still waiting on the day someone will turn Kibum as speechless as that one handsome customer admittedly turned Jinki into a tongue tied fool.
He was really handsome. Exactly his type too. He had dreamy eyes, white blonde hair and dark brown eyes and Jinki only talked to him for exactly two minutes.
It doesn’t take a mastermind to see through Jinki when he gets like that. Fortunately, it doesn’t happen often or his reputation will sink deeper than it already has. Not that he really had one to begin with.
Jinki resumes washing, shaking his head while spending what is probably a little too much time recalling how that particular customers’ looks had nearly knocked him off his feet. Then he tries to push his thoughts aside and goes to close up for the day, making sure everything is in order before he checks the schedule for tomorrow. Someone crossed off Kibum’s name from the list and put down Taemin’s.
Well at least he’s arranged for someone to fill in for him.
Jinki knows Kibum is dependable, of course. How could he not? He remembers it now as he turns of the lights and locks the store. How he fell apart and how Kibum was the one to pick up the pieces. He's more than a little thankful that he was there for him, together with Minho.
It's why he lets Kibum get away with so much even though he probably shouldn't. He just can't help it, he wants to express his gratitude in some way at least. Kibum barely let's a thank you out of Jinki’s mouth before he's already waved it off. Beneath all that fierceness Kibum always shows the world, there is a softness that sometimes astonishes even Jinki.
Taemin came in as a newbie not much later, blissfully unaware of Jinki’s emotional state and it proved to be exactly what Jinki needed at that time.
Jinki had to teach him the absolute basics of being a barista, but Taemin listens well even though he always looks like he's lost in thought. He's a smart kid and Jinki is in awe of how quickly he's become so good at his job. And if Jinki is being honest, Taemin has become an integral part of his life as well. He’s wormed his way into his heart with his soft, graceful demeanour and somehow also clumsy and forgetful nature.
Jinki’s heart is warm as he walks home alone in the dark. He thinks of how far he’s come, and how he likes his life a lot more these days than he did six months ago.
The handsome customer is there again today, with a date that Jinki is pretty sure is a different one from last time. Not that he’s really paying attention though. It’s just that this one has ginger hair and Jinki knows the last one didn’t, so it has to be a different one.
He watches with a disapproving scowl as Kibum puts 'cute redhead' on the cup instead of a name and then Taemin is suddenly next to him when the pair walks over to a little table for two in a corner of the shop.
‘Makes you wonder’, he begins, and Jinki already knows whatever comes next won't be good. 'Doth the rug matcheth the drapery.'
Jinki hides his surprised snort and Kibum, who walked over just in time to hear it, rolls his eyes.
'Where did that come from?' Jinki asks and Taemin shrugs.
'Been reading some Shakespeare.' He says and Jink is inclined to believe him, but Kibum interjects,
'That’s not Shakespeare, that’s Downton Abbey.'
Taemin is not even listening anymore but Jinki laughs. ‘I didn’t know you were a Downton Abbey fan, Kibum-ah.’
‘I’ve watched an episode or two. You should know, hyung, I made you watch it with me.’ Kibum quips back casually and Jinki’s laughter dies as he awkwardly scratches his neck. He feels a little caught as he usually doesn’t really pay attention to whatever Kibum puts on the television whenever he forces him to watch something with him.
He’s quick to apologize but Kibum tuts and shakes his head.
‘Don’t worry hyung, I love you anyways.’
Jinki looks away, cheeks warming as they always do when someone unexpectedly expresses their affection towards him. He never knows quite what to say and feels like too much of a burden sometimes to readily accept it. It’s still nice to hear though. And Kibum knows him, and is never offended when Jinki doesn’t say it back.
Jinki’s thoughts are suddenly interrupted when the handsome customer approaches them. Jinki is about to ask if he needs anything, when Kibum asks the same question first. Jinki is a little frustrated before he realises it’s completely ridiculous so instead he makes himself useful by rearranging the rack of baked goods. The blonde is wearing distressed dark jeans, and a sleeveless top with some band name on it Jinki doesn’t recognize. It’s objectively not anything special and yet Jinki’s gaze lingers just a little too long.
‘Taemin-ah, Jonghyun wants a mocha latte.’ Kibum shouts over and Taemin nods and sets to work under the watchful eye of Jinki. Usually he mostly mans the counter since it involves less actual barista skills, and Taemin is freakishly good with numbers, but since today is a quiet day it’s good for practice. Jinki tries not to think about how he now knows the handsome customers’ name is Jonghyun. He has the weird urge to say it out loud, but berates himself quickly before he can make a fool of himself again.
Taemin does a decent enough job, but as he finishes off with the milk foam, he overfills the cup which will make it impossible for Jonghyun to pick it up without spilling.
‘Taemin-ah, that’s too much,’ Jinki sighs, and he throws what he hopes is an apologetic smile towards Jonghyun. ‘I’m sorry, he made it too full, shall I walk it to your table for you?’ he offers, but Jonghyun shakes his head and shrugs.
‘It’s okay, I have a strategy.’ He says, and then Jinki watches in surprise as he crouches down and puts his lips on the edge of the cup to slurp some of the liquid off. Some of the foam stays behind on his upper lip and Jinki can’t help but stare at it.
So adorable. Is his first thought.
Jinki feels his neck heat up because Jonghyun is here on a date for god’s sake and Jinki doesn’t even know him.
But then Jonghyun’s cheeks turn a little pink when he catches Jinki’s gaze and he lifts his arm to wipe away the milk foam with his sleeve. He grins sheepishly.
‘Sorry, I must look a little ridiculous, right? Did I get all of it?’ Jonghyun catches Jinki’s gaze with a questioning look in his eyes but Jinki feels like he just ate enough balls of cotton to fill up his entire brain and replace any coherent thought he might’ve had in his life.
Taemin answers before Jinki can compose himself.
‘Yup, you’re all good. Although one might argue it’d be good strategy to leave a little bit for your date to wipe away.’ He says, and Jonghyun turns his attention towards Taemin and laughs.
It’s a nice melodic sound and Jinki suddenly wonders if his own laugh sounds even remotely as nice and beautiful as Jonghyun’s does.
‘I like the way you think.’ Jonghyun says and nods at Taemin when he carefully picks up his coffee. Just before he turns, he catches Jinki’s eyes again, who has been standing there dumbstruck the whole time, and he winks.
Jinki feels his neck and ears heat up and he is glad that Jonghyun has walked away already before he can see the aftermath of his spontaneous little action.
He’s in shambles.
Just from a wink.
Jinki collects himself by cleaning the counter with a little more vigour than is probably strictly necessary. From the corner of his eye, Jinki can see Taemin watching him curiously.
‘Hyung, have I ever told you you’re very cute?’ Taemin comments, and Jinki closes his eyes and sighs, wondering when he will ever get a moment of peace.
‘Ssshh. Hyung is having a little crisis at the moment Taemin-ah, leave him be.’ Kibum says and Jinki can hear the teasing edge to his tone.
Jinki must admit, he is indeed having a crisis, though it doesn’t feel like a little one because he is currently watching Jonghyun walk towards the table where he’s sitting with his date, and he is thinking very inappropriate thoughts about the width of his shoulders and the way his arm muscles are on full view in the top he’s wearing.
He mumbles something about doing inventory and hides in the storage room the rest of the day, like a coward.
He curses at himself inwardly the whole time, because why is he so scared of finding a random person attractive? It’s not as if it’s a crime. It’s a completely normal thing and yet, Jinki feels entirely out of his depth and deep down he knows why.
On his way home that night he finally admits it to himself.
It’s the first time he’s felt something like this in six months. The first time since the breakup he finds someone attractive.
And it scares him.
Now, logically, Jinki knows he wants to put himself out there again at some point. It’s just that he thinks he’s not ready. He’s happy in his own little corner for now. Life has finally calmed down, he feels like himself again and he’s too scared of losing that to risk anything right now.
In the end, as he gets into his bed and stares at the words in his novel without comprehending anything, he decides to try and not take it too seriously. His thoughts are not illegal and he’s not harming anyone.
He just has to make sure Kibum and Taemin leave him alone.
‘Who do you think you are, Jinki? You’re a coffee shop owner, you’re my boyfriend… What are you besides that? You went to uni and then never did anything with the degree. You have a voice like an angel and yet you let your days go by like this, the same thing day in day out.’
Jinki starts crying already, tears spilling over onto his cheeks, down to his chin where they drop onto his apron. He’s clutching the soft cotton of it now, as if it’s armour that will shield him from the way Daeyoung’s words are doing irreparable damage to his heart.
‘I like being those things.’ Jinki tries weakly.
Daeyoung sighs and Jinki feels terribly small as he sees the obvious disappointment on his face.
‘It’s what you made yourself believe you like, Jinki. It’s better this way, it’s better if we let each other go, or we’ll only hurt each other.’
No. Jinki thinks. Daeyoung is doing all the hurting. Jinki is the one who is currently having his life turned upside down by the one who is supposed to love him.
Daeyoung turns around to leave and despite it all Jinki feels an intense urge to stop him, to try and convince him to stay.
As if he’s somehow sensed it, Daeyoung hesitates and then looks back at him.
Jinki waits, desperately clinging onto the last string of hope he has left. He wants to wake up from the nightmare that is this moment, he wants Daeyoung to tell him it’s all some kind of joke. That of course, he loves him and of course, he is enough.
Instead, what comes out of Daeyoungs mouth are words that Jinki can’t seem to forget, even months later they haunt him like a nasty little mantra he is unable to shake.
‘Just please, promise me you’ll finally make something of yourself, Jinki-yah.’
Jonghyun comes by again. Without a date this time. He hangs around Kibum by the counter for a while, complaining about his dates, and tells Kibum and Jinki about the guy that wouldn’t take the hint that Jonghyun wasn’t interested.
‘The redhead? He was cute though.’ Kibum comments, but Jonghyun makes a face.
‘Looks aren’t everything. Besides, he said I resemble a dinosaur.’ He starts pouting, and it’s instantly clear Jonghyun doesn’t like that description.
‘You do kind of look like one though.’ Taemin says, voicing his thoughts without filter as usual. Jonghyun’s look shoots daggers at him.
Taemin just shrugs.
‘I think you look more like a dog, actually.’ Jinki interjects.
Jonghyun looks at him surprised, as if he hadn’t expected him to respond. Then he frowns.
‘A….dog?’
Jinki realises how it sounds and quickly scrambles to phrase it more positively.
‘Yeah, uh, like a puppy, you have those cute puppy dog eyes.’ The minute the words leave his lips he regrets them and Jonghyun’s eyes widen and he’s actually speechless.
Jinki wants to die.
Taemin snorts and Jinki starts stammering.
‘I just- I just meant you look… nice.’ Which is not a worse thing to say but also definitely not as smooth as it could have been.
‘Oh, thank you.’ Jonghyun beams as him then, and surprisingly enough it seems genuine. Jinki blinks at him, momentarily taken by the way Jonghyun’s smile lights up his face.
‘I… you’re welcome.’
At that point in the conversation it would be natural for Jonghyun to leave or order something but instead, he seems to be in deep thought, considering something.
‘Do you allow dogs in here?’
The question catches Jinki off-guard enough that he just blurts, ‘huh?’
Jonghyun grins a little self-consciously, clearly aware of the randomness of the question.
‘It’s okay if you don’t! It’s just that I usually walk my dog in the morning and I would love to be able to get a coffee during the walk.’
The idea of Jonghyun coming in to the shop every morning appeals to Jinki more than he wants to admit. ‘Oh right, of course! Yes, we do. You can bring him in anytime.’ Jinki reassures.
Jonghyun beams and adds, ‘I’d love for you to meet her!’
Jinki nods and is then unfortunately interrupted by a new customer wanting to put their order in. Jonghyun steps aside and waits patiently, watching him the whole time. Jinki finds he doesn’t mind it. He feels a little more at ease now having Jonghyun around. He’s already friends with Taemin and Kibum, making getting to know him a little smoother. Jinki is in his element here, the coffee shop is his domain, where he feels the most confident.
What also helps is that when Jonghyun doesn’t blatantly flirt with him he can pretend he isn’t as attracted to him as he is.
He finishes off the order for the customer with some pretty latte art and hands it over with a smile.
Then he turns to Jonghyun again.
‘So what’s her name?’
He asks, genuinely wanting to know more about the dog.
Jonghyun leans over the counter and looks at Jinki as if he’s considering something. Jinki waits patiently, trying not to feel like he’s being appraised.
‘I’ll tell you her name, but only if you tell me yours first.’ Jonghyung says it like they’re conspiring something together, mischief written on his face, on his stance, in the way he holds Jinki’s gaze.
‘Did Kibum not tell you my name?’ Jinki asks, genuinely confused. He could have said something a little more smart, or perhaps even matched Jonghyun’s energy, but it’s too late for that now.
‘Well, he did. But not your full name, and I always like to hear it from the person themselves.’ Jonghyun explains, then looks up at him full of expectation. Now that he is this close, Jinki has an opportunity to study him more closely and Jinki notices his eyes are less dark up close, and that Jonghyun is a little bit shorter than him.
‘Lee Jinki.’ Jinki says, and bows.
Jonghyun smiles, nods, and does the same, then says, ‘Kim Jonghyun. It’s nice to meet you.’
By the end of the day, Jinki closes up on his own again, and as he walks home he notices it’s fully dark now. The days are getting shorter and shorter but despite his lack of sunlight exposure, he still feels energized and as he gets home he dusts off his running shoes and goes for a run like he used to do at least three times a week. It feels good. So good in fact, that he even does some warm-up stretches he remember from his pilates classes. It’s like talking to an old friend again, all kinds of memories suddenly creeping up at him from the back of his mind, some welcome, some very much not. Still, he goes to sleep feeling tired in a nice, rewarding kind of way.