Chapter Text
Life had been good for Ilya and Shane ever since they admitted they were, in fact, deeply in love with each other. Even though their relationship remained a secret from the rest of the world, they were happy. They still had to make phone calls in private and send text messages that needed to be deleted afterward, and their rushed meetings lasted only a few hours, but everything felt different now, it felt secure.
Well, that was true until about a month ago.
Ilya was concerned, no more like terrified. Ever since spending the summer with Shane at his cottage, he'd felt better than he'd ever felt in his entire life. Shane, which had seemed like some far-fetched fantasy, had actually become reality. He loved Shane, and Shane loved him. They reached their happy ending, right? Nothing could go wrong now!
Shane's recent mood shift was probably nothing, right? He was probably just stressed about the horrible season the Metros were having, it had nothing to do with him, right?
Ilya had been on edge for weeks, overanalyzing their every interaction and text message. This internal struggle began to affect his time on the ice. In a game against the Admirals, Scott Hunter paid the price for Ilya's mental torment. That got him in the sin bin. Twice.
Truthfully, he probably would've ended up in there anyway. Ilya liked messing with the NHL's oldest and wisest player.
After having to take time off the ice and costing his team the game, Ilya figured it was time to talk things out with Shane. He wasn't sure what was bothering him, but there was definitely something. Most of the time when they sent each other texts, Shane seemed fine, and he acted normally. It wasn't until things got heated… that Shane began to act strangely. He seemed hesitant and at times, even scared. Or maybe nervous?
Ilya likes to think he knows Shane very well. Why wouldn't he, after all, it’s been years. But for some reason, he couldn't quite decipher what was wrong this time.
There had been other instances where he thought Shane had been acting weird, but things were different back then, they weren't lovers, as Ilya liked to say. He felt like he had more to lose this time.
He laid himself bare to Shane, and so had he. They were completely honest with each other for the first time. They were in a committed relationship now, he’d met his parents, hell, he would even go as far as saying he loved his parents and was pretty confident they loved him too. Ilya had gained so much more than just Shane, for once, he had stability.
Ilya hadn't wanted to push Shane for answers, but his behavior was getting harder to ignore. Before all of this weirdness, it had always been easy to initiate something with Shane, I mean, their entire relationship began based on rivalry and sex, but now, whenever Ilya even attempted to sext Shane, he would very quickly and at times very obviously change the conversation.
On the rare chance they would both have time to FaceTime with no annoying teammates in the room to bother them or catch them red-handed, they usually had phone sex, but now…nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Well, they'd obviously talk and gossip about other teams and players, but whenever Ilya tried to initiate some much-needed phone sex, suddenly Hayden Pike was on his way back to his and Shane's shared hotel room.
After being shut down so many times, Ilya was getting desperate in more ways than one. On one hand, he was scared Shane was done with him, that he'd grown tired of him. Maybe he finally realized he was beautiful and perfect, and that he shouldn't be having some secret love affair with someone like him, his rival. It was the insecure and abused part of him that spun such unrealistic stories in his head. The more rational part of Ilya knew that it couldn't be it.
Why would Shane put up with him and stay with him for years if he wasn't as crazy about him as Ilya was? Why would he text him every morning and night if he didn't still love him? If his feelings had changed, Ilya didn't think Shane would fuss over his small injuries from games or doordash him his ‘horrible’unhealthy junk food he loves eating. There was no way he'd keep Cokes stocked in his house, or find a way to always have his good Russian vodka at hand.
He loved him, he was sure of it. So what was bothering him so much? It's got something to do with their sex life, that's for sure, they hadn't done anything in so long.
So long in fact that when Ilya was scrolling through intsagram he ended up jerking off to a workout video Shane's media team made him upload. It had been a while, and Shane had just looked so good in that video, they'd filmed him stretching and then squatting down with weights.
God, the camera was right behind him, Ilya turned the volume up, and could hear him groan under the pressure. He thought back to the sounds he makes in bed, fuck, he was going crazy. He could see the sweat drip down his neck and into his shirt and wished he could climb through the screen and lick it off.
Yeah, it had definitely been way too long. Ilya knew his thoughts were filthy, but once his hand found its way down his sweats, he couldn't stop.
Whoever filmed Shane working out was trying to kill Ilya, he was sure of it. The way they zoomed in on his form while squatting had him cursing under his breath. His ass looked so good in those thin shorts. He thought back to how Shane would ride him, at first he was so shy and timid, but eventually caved in to the pleasure because he wanted Ilya that much.
The way he would slam himself down hard on his cock even after he came, knowing it would overstimulate himself, drove Ilya insane. He was always so eager to please, eager to please me, Ilya thought. That thought is what drove him over the edge, spilling his release all over his phone screen.
When it came to cleaning up, he felt off and guilty. Here he was fisting his cock to an innocent video of Shane when he wasn't sure if Shane even wanted him in that way anymore. While there was a part of him that was afraid of what their conversation would entail, Ilya was so desperate to fix things, for the sake of their relationship and his dick. He was certain they needed to talk as soon as possible.
Initially, Ilya thought maybe if he seduced him enough and let Shane come to him, that maybe, just maybe, things would just go back to normal. But things didn't work out that way.
In those days, he got shut down on the phone. Ilya had worn tank tops that showed off his arms, the same arms he knew Shane loved. He'd caught him staring at his biceps so many times over the years and at the veins of his hands.
Ilya even went as far as pretending to have spilled his protein shake on himself. It was a silly mistake, really, and he was just so clumsy, well, he obviously needed to change now! with his phone propped up ofc, accidentally giving Shane a full show of him discarding his shirt to the floor, only leaving him in his grey Nike sweatpants, clearly outlining his half-hard dick.
Shane had a good view of Ilyas Abbs and the happy trail he frequently liked to follow.
For a second, Ilya thought he succeeded in getting Shane to initiate something, but just as he'd caught Shane staring him down with lust-ridden eyes, Shane abruptly stopped and said, “You should probably shower, that smoothie probably had all sorts of sugar. I’m sure you're sticky.” After sending Ilya to the shower, he quickly hung up. .
Ilya had stared at his phone in disbelief, his hot, sexy boyfriend just left him high and dry. Again. He was left frustrated and slightly insecure.
He thought of that moment now, using it as a reminder and way of convincing himself that it's a good thing he's texting Shane. Ilya decided to ask him to grab some dinner and talk once he landed. They were both scheduled to be in Montreal. He knew Shane would worry about them being seen out in public together, but Ilya assured him he would find some place lowkey. With little to no convincing, Shane agreed, and now all there was left to do for Ilya was get on the plane and wait to see him again.
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As soon as Shane had seen the message, he knew he was fucked, he had to come clean soon. Get dinner and talk? Since when does Ilya Rozanov want to ‘talk’ after not getting laid for over a month?
He knew Ilya was going to bring up his weirdness, and he was trying to prepare himself. How in the hell was he going to explain himself?
He had been thinking of so many different ways to phrase this for weeks! Every sentence he came up with made him feel like a freak, nothing felt right. Shane had tried to tell Ilya a few times but chickened out last second, leaving him to sound all dumb and awkward, obviously guilty of something. He knew Ilya was pretending not to notice, and he appreciated it, but Ilya deserved some answers.
Truthfully, it was not as horrible as Shane made it out to be in his head. It was just new and different…
It started the last time he and Ilya slept together, on a spontaneous whim. Shane had gone to see Ilya after one of his games against San Francisco. He had exactly one day before he was needed back with the Metros, but Shane just missed Ilya too much and decided to make the long journey anyway.
Ilya had a particularly bad day that day, he was pissed, it was so obvious, Shane could see it from the way he stood all tense and broody. Shane had watched the game in a hotel room while he waited for Ilya, and it definitely explained his foul mood.
Two of the players from San Fransico seemed to have some serious beef with him, they did just enough to provoke him without getting a penalty, and ofc since Ilya isn't one to sit still, he dropped his gloves immediately and went for it.
That got him sent away quickly, the cameraman zoomed in on Ilyas's scowl while he sat in the bin. Shane couldn't help but smile. He found himself admiring every part of Ilya, he was so inlove with his short-tempered asshole hockey player.
The game ended, and Boston had won despite Ilyas fight. After he had showered and changed, Ilya went to the hotel room where a very impatient Shane was waiting for him.
Shane could see the tension in his body and knew Ilya was still high on the adrenaline and anger from the game, but that didn't stop him from reaching out and kissing him.
He wanted Ilya right now, angry or not. Shane pushed him against the door, trying to kiss and feel his body as much as possible. Ilya, channeling all his frustration into his lust, flipped the roles and had Shane against the door in seconds.
Shane knew Ilya was taking out his frustration on him, and for some reason, it made him harder than ever before. He was being so rough with him, their teeth clashed at times, and Shane was having trouble breathing or even moving in between.
Ilya had a tight grip on his hips and had put his knee between Shane's legs, keeping him planted against the door. He felt Ilya kiss down his neck, slightly sucking and nibbling, clearly trying to reel in some anger.
Obviously, there had been times before that one where Ilya had been rough, but it was never like this, so blatantly obvious. He had never crossed a line he drew for himself. He tried to be gentle and caring, he wanted Shane to feel safe.
Before things escalated, Shane could see the realization of his roughness on Ilyas face. He immediately softened up and reeled in some control. That's when Shane had a realization of his own.
He didn't want Ilya to control himself or be gentle, he wanted him rough and unrefined. He wanted Ilya to use him for his own pleasure. He wanted him to dominate him completely.
God, it made him feel like such a freak. After discovering that part of himself, he began to fantasize about it all the time. He thought of those hands he loved, rough and vieny, he imagined them on his skin, in his hair, and wrapped around his neck.
He wanted to tell Ilya about his newfound revelation, but he couldn't bring himself to, he was too embarrassed. Every time things would get heated between them, Shane spooked himself and shut everything down in fear of revealing his sick desires in the heat of the moment.
Shane realized it was becoming increasingly obvious that he was avoiding anything sexual and that he should come clean, but it was just so hard, he wasn't very good at expressing himself or trying new things, so this scared him.
There was a part of him that found comfort in knowing that it was Ilya who brought out this side of him, Ilya who loved him deeply. Ilya, who treated him with such care and gentleness that he had the restraint to pull back in fear of hurting him.
He knew Ilya would never purposely hurt him or treat him that roughly, not without asking him to ofc.
Shane decided it was time to reveal his secret and be honest with Ilya.
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Ilyas plane landed in Montreal early in the afternoon. After checking into his hotel and taking a quick shower, he was on his way to Shane's.
Shane was waiting for him in his living room, tracking his location every 5 seconds. He paced back and forth nervously while practicing what he was going to say. He was going to get this overwith. Tonight.
Everythings gonna be fine, he chanted over and over again in his head.
When he saw Ilyas Uber pull up into his driveway, he decided to sit down on the couch and try to feign nonchalance, but it really wasn't working.
When Ilya stepped out of the car and reached Shane's door, he took a deep breath and punched in the entrance code.
He was getting some answers out of him. Tonight.
Shane stood with the sound of the door opening. He was still nervous, but he hadn't seen Ilya in almost a month, and his love for him overpowered his nerves, so he rushed over to him.
Ilyas's hands found their way onto shanes hips as they shared a short but tender kiss.
“Hey,” Shane whispered against Ilyas's neck, “Hi,” he said back.
“I didn't expect you to get here so early,” Shane said, finally stepping away from Ilya.
“Oh, so you want me to leave?” Ilya joked, “Shut up, you know that's not what I meant.”
“I took early flight, wanted to see you,” Ilya said earnestly, and at that, Shane smiled. Ilya had missed him, too.
It was barely 3 pm, way too early for dinner, plus Shane really didn't want to go out anyway. “It's a bit early for dinner, no?” Shane said nervously, “What if we talk here and maybe eat later?”
“Whatever works best for you,” Ilya said, moving closer towards him again. That short kiss wasn't enough for him, he wanted more, he wanted everything when it came to Shane. He was greedy that way.
Ilya found his way back to Shane's lips and pushed him down towards the couch. For a moment, Shane let him take control and capture his mouth in a storm of kisses. It had been so long since he felt the weight of Ilyas's body on top of his that he felt lost in their lust.
It wasn't until he felt Ilyas hand snake up his shirt in an attempt to grope his chest that Shane freed himself from his daze. He caught his hand with his own and repositioned himself on the couch. Ilya followed with a frustrated groan.
“I thought you wanted to talk?” Shane asked, “yes but I also want you.” Ilya said while placing his hand on Shane's thigh. Shane gently pushed his hand off and turned to look at Ilyas perfect, handsome face.
“Well, I think we should talk first, okay?” Ilya picked up on Shane's seriousness and remembered his own mission, “okay yes.” Shane stayed quiet, “You say you want to talk, yet you do not say anything,” Ilya said while chuckling.
Shane took in a long breath before slowly letting it out, “Um, well, you know.” Ilya shifted his head forward in a questioning motion. “I do not know actually, this why we talk, yes?”
Shane's hands fisted the fabric of his shorts in an attempt to calm himself. Noticing this, Ilya grabbed Shane's jaw and forced him to look at him. “Shane, it's okay. Say whatever, whatever you say, whatever you want, is okay.”
Shane searched Ilyas's eyes for reassurance and found sincerity. He was going to be okay, Everythings okay, he thought. He loosened himself from Ilya’s hold.
Before he lost confidence again, Shane said, “You’ve noticed, right? My weirdness, I mean, it's probably hard not to, right?” Shane bit his lip and looked down a bit.
“Did I notice my boring boyfriend acting more boring? Yes, obviously yes.” Ilya hoped his joke would relieve some of the tension, but Shane was still stiff as a board.
Shane looked up again, “yeah I thought that, well, I just wanted to tell you there's a reason.” Ilya nodded at him, encouraging him to keep going.
“God, this is so hard,” Shane said under his breath. Ilya put a strong hand over his shoulder, massaging it, hoping it would help him relax. Shane nodded at himself, internally hyping himself up.
“Do you remember the last time we slept together? Back after San Fransico?” Ilya stopped and thought back to that horrible game, he had gotten so angry. Those players had so much shit to say. The only bright side to that day was his cute, freckled boyfriend waiting for him.
Ilya thought back to their late night randevu, how Shane had pushed him against the hotel door, and the way he had eagerly flipped them around so he could be on top. He spent a moment recalling the night while Shane watched with curious eyes.
Ilya suddenly felt so stupid. He had been so pissed off that day that he was overly rough with Shane, after realizing he tried softening up, but maybe he hadn't. Maybe he had hurt him, and he didn't even notice, fuck, he was such an idiot.
Had he scared him off? He felt terrible.
“Oh my god, Shane, I'm so sorry, I feel terrible. Is this about how rough I was? Am so sorry, sweetheart. Did I hurt you?” Ilya asked while still mumbling a string of apologies.
This was not going in the direction Shane had hoped. He looked at Ilya and shook his head, “What no! That's not, no, I mean that's not what this is about.” he was babbling, “No thats not it, it's different, I mean like I wasn't hurt, you know? It was …the opposite?”
Ilya looked at Shane, face full of relief followed by immense confusion.
“What do you mean by opposite?” Shane turned away, getting very embarrassed before he even got the words he wanted to say out.
“I mean, like opposite, you know, like I didn't hate it,” Shane confessed. At that, Ilya began to gain some clarity, but still needed confirmation from Shane. He needed to hear the words come out of his mouth.
Ilya fienged confusion still, “And what does that mean?” Shane licked his lips and could feel the flush that was creeping up his neck, “Are you really going to make me say it?” He looked at Ilya with pleading eyes, but as soft as Ilya got with those pretty brown eyes, he couldn't give in. He wasn't gonna treat Shane that way unless he specifically asked for it, he didn't want there to be any possibility that he was hurting him.
“Say what?” Ilya asked, fuck, Shane felt like he was going to die of embarrassment. He timidly looked up at Ilya and said, “I like it when you're rough, I want you to be, more than that, actually.” he was running his mouth again, he knew it, but he couldn't stop himself.
“I want you to be as rough as you want. I can take it, just… use me,” he said at the end, surprising even himself. There it was, out in the open, his darkest, filthiest fantasy out in the open.
Shane felt like he was on fire. He finally built up the courage to look Ilya in the eye, and he found him already looking at him with a shit-eating grin. Oh god, this was a mistake, this is so embarrassing, I shouldn't have said anything, he kept repeating.
Shane stood up abruptly and headed for the door. “You know what, sorry that was dumb, I shouldn't have said anything, do you wanna grab dinner? Yeah, let's do that, let's grab dinner instead.”
As Shane reached for the door handle, he felt Ilya wrap his hands around his waist and his breath against his ear. He stood incredibly still, bracing himself for Ilya to make fun of him or something.
Ilya pressed himself against Shane’s backside, making sure he felt every inch of him. “Don't run away after saying all that.” Ilya lightly tugged at Shane's ear and peppered kisses on his neck.
“What?” Shane said, confused, did this mean Ilya didn't think he was a freak?
“You said I can use you, right?” he practically purred in his ear, “yes” Shane said quietly.
“Well then, let me.” Ilya moved his hand inside Shane's shirt and ran it up his toned stomach, feeling every ridge.
Shane's breath hitched when he felt Ilya lick the side of his neck, “Do you know how many times you’ve left me hard and made me deal with it alone?”
“How many?” he was breathing hard. Ilyas's hands roamed his body, as if he were trying to memorize every part. He groped his chest. Fingers pulling at his sensitive nipples, taking the bud between his fingers, and lightly tugging again.
“Too fucking many”, He turned Shane around, his hands made way to his neck, then the curve of his face. He held him possessively, and he forced his mouth open with one of his thumbs.
Shane instinctively swirled his tongue around the finger, clearly pleasing Ilya.
“I've thought of fucking this pretty mouth of yours for weeks, you gonna let me?”
Shane nodded eagerly, and Ilya led them back to the couch. He sat himself in the center, legs spread open as he pushed Shane down to his knees. Shane stayed there, waiting for Ilya to give him directions.
“What are you waiting for? Suck it,” He demanded. Ilya then forced Shane's head ontop of his aching bulge.
Shane looked up at him, eyes full of lust. He kissed the outline of his cock through his sweats, making Ilyas's head fall back against the couch. The feeling was far too intense for it having been so long. He continued to suck on the thin cloth, leaving a damp spot on it.
Growing frustrated, Ilya tangled his fingers in Shane's hair, gripping him harshly. “I'm not gonna sit here and let you tease me, Suck it.”
Shane's hands quickly reached for Ilyas's waistband, fumbling to remove all the clothing that kept him from doing as he was told. Ilya still held a tight grip on his hair, the slight pain had his own cock straining his shorts.
He licked his red, angry tip, tasting him for the first time in a while. He took him into his mouth, and as he tried to build up a rhythm, Ilya jerked his hips up, making him take all of him at once. Not even letting him adjust, he rocked his hips fucking his face.
The brutality of it made Shane moan around him. Ilya kept a harsh pace, constantly hitting the back of his throat, he had so much spit spilling from his mouth. Shane looked up at him, eyes welling up with tears.
“Fuck you look so good like this sweetheart,” Ilya mumbled as he buried his dick as far as he could into Shane's mouth. The compliment had him pushing his groin against the couch despreate to find some sort of friction.
“No. You don't get to feel good. Not yet. Not when you’ve left me like this for so long.” Shane only whined in response, he made himself hold still, only focusing on making Ilya feel good.
“Look at you, rutting against the couch like a dog in heat. Are you that desperate for my cock?” Shane's loud moans sent vibrations around Ilya. He pulled out to hear him.
Shane caught his breath, spit falling from his mouth, “Fuck, yes.” Ilya took himself in his hand and pressed his tip against the corner of Shane's mouth. He spread beads of precum against his lips, then slapped his dick against his cheek. “Beg for it.”
“Please, Ilya,” he moaned and bucked his hips into the couch again. Ilya tugged on his hair as a reminder. “What did I tell you?”
“Im Sorry, Please. Ilya, please let me have it.” Shane peppered kisses along Ilyas's cock as an apology. The sight was outright pornographic, he was such a slut for his dick, for him.
“Good boy, He finally pushed himself back inside Shane's welcoming mouth. “Touch yourself. Now”, Ilya watched as Shane hurriedly palmed himself over his shorts, the feeling so overwhelming that he felt himself leak even further. He was so turned on it was unbearable.
Ilya watched Shane struggle to take him. It was an image he wanted imprinted in his mind forever. So beautiful and so perfect, taking him, pleasing him.
He's mine, Ilya thought. All fucking mine. He hit the back of his throat in such a delicious way that it made him dizzy with pleasure.
“You like being my little slut? Hmm? You're doing so good for me, you're so pretty like this. Letting me use your mouth to feel good, you're so sweet.” He forced Shane's head down rapidly, chasing his release.
Shane was gagging around him, choking on his cock, but he didn't care, he didn't stop. He just kept thrusting.
Shane finally freed his leaking cock from his shorts. Ilya being rough was already driving him over the edge, but hearing him praise him was what drove him mad. He collected the spit falling from his mouth to slicken his own cock. He whined as he slid his hand over himself.
“Oh fuck, you love being used like this dont you?” Ilya hissed through clenched teeth, “God, your mouth was made for me, your entire body, just for me.” Shane continued to take him into his mouth while he fucked into his own hand.
Ilya watched as Shane jerked himself off, quick and desperate. He watched as he tried so hard not to gag around him, but he was simply too big to avoid it. Tears had fallen from his pretty brown eyes and onto his freckled cheeks.
God, how he loved his freckles, his eyes, his everything.
He was getting close; he could feel the familiar coil in his stomach, the tightness in his balls.
“Fuck Shane im gonna cum” Ilya grunted out. His thrusts were becoming erratic.
“I'm gonna cum down this pretty little throat of yours, I want you to swallow it all, don't let it fall on the couch, I know you don't like messes.” He held his face in place and relentlessly thrusted into his mouth.
Shane didn't usually swallow, but the way he demanded him to convinced him instantly. He picked up his own pace, he gripped himself firmly all the way from the base, and then moved his hand up towards his tip. He teased himself, wanting to wait for Ilya to cum first.
He wanted to see him come undone, to know he pleased him, to know he was his good boy.
Ilya thrust his entire cock into Shane's mouth one last time and let ropes of cum go down his throat. He moaned loudly, his thighs shaking lightly from the intensity of his orgasm. His breath was ragid still coming down from his high.
He forced his eyes open, he watched Shane bring himself to climax cumming all over his shirt and hand, his own release still lingering on the corner of his mouth. He reached out his hand to him, gathering the white substance with his thumb.
Shane was still a whimpering mess by his knees, his mind clearly hazy and looking completely fucked out.
Ilya slid his thumb into Shane's mouth, making him clean every last drop.
“I did say all of it.” Shane licked it eagerly. Ilya finally untangled his other hand from Shane's hair. He caressed his face, wiping the leftover tears and spit that were left on his pretty face.
Ilya took his thumb out of Shane's mouth and leaned over to kiss him. His tongue explored his mouth, tasting himself in the process. Shane returned the kiss eagerly, finding comfort and confirmation in it. He had done well.
Breaking away from Shane, Ilya brought him up from his knees and onto his lap, holding him tightly. “That was so fucking good, Shane.”
“Do you really think so?” Shane asked shyly, “Ofc sweetheart.” He kissed him again and rubbed circles on his back, making sure he felt okay.
After a while of just enjoying each other's company, they decided to clean up. Shane's shirt was ruined, so he opted to just throw it out. The room smelled like sex, and their hair looked insane. They were not leaving the house anytime soon.
“What if we doordash mcdonanlds?” Ilya always went for the greasy foods, Shane, on the other hand, avoided them like the plague. He gave him a knowing look, but Ilya only pretended to pout.
“Ugh, you're the worst,” he gave in, “Just order me something semi-healthy.”
“I can add extra Onions to your burger, onions are healthy!” Shane luaghed completly giving up on trying to deny him of his fast food, he could deal with a greasy burger occasionally. He would do anything for Ilya, he was still madly inlove with him after all.