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Sometimes Akaashi wished he was still in Communications.
It seemed like such a long time ago. He knew it had only been a few years that he’d been promoted to Ops, but it felt like a lifetime. Communications had been fairly easy, the most complicated thing he’d had to do was fix computers and phone lines. But now, in Ops? No such luck.
If he fucked up, if he was a second late in seeing something, someone could die. There’d been a few cases when someone almost did. The very first time he’d been in Ops had been spent listening to an agent struggle to breathe, not knowing if the person he could only hear and not see would live to see another day. There were times when all communication was lost, and he could only watch as enemies surrounded a friend without being able to direct them to safety.
He’d watched people die. People he’d never met, people he’d shared smiles and conversations with.
He’d watched people overcome impossible odds and emerge unscathed. It was incredible. He’d feel elated for days.
‘Days’ being the operative word. Not nights.
*
“I’m pinned down!”
“Fuck it hurts!”
“Help me!”
“I can’t move!”
“I’m dying.”
*
Akaashi woke up with a start. He sat up, his chest heaving, cold sweat making his skin clammy and uncomfortable. Once he took in his surroundings, he glanced at the alarm clock on his bedside table. 3:46 am. He had six more hours and fourteen minutes before he was on shift again.
From where he stood, sleep didn’t seem like it was going to happen for the rest of the night, so he got out of bed and headed for the kitchen.
As he was filling himself a glass of water, his thoughts wandered over to the two agents currently out on a job. Bokuto and Kuroo had departed two days ago, so by all calculations, they should be getting started on their infiltration.
Despite being in a t-shirt and loose pants, he put on a pair of shoes and headed towards the Ops room. If he couldn’t sleep he might as well do something productive.
Once he reached the room, he stepped in and saw Ennoshita turning all systems back online after their usual post-night shift reboot. “Good morning,” he greeted, taking a seat by the side of the room.
If Ennoshita startled, he didn’t show it. “Good morning! I thought you weren’t on duty until 10?” he replied, glancing at his watch. “It’s only four.”
Akaashi shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep. I thought I might see if there’s anything I could do.”
With a smile, Ennoshita logged the system back on before turning back to Akaashi. “Actually, I can’t stick around, so if you’d like to, you can oversee Echo’s op? Yamaguchi was supposed to be on duty now, but he’s sick so…” he trailed off, looking at Akaashi pleadingly.
Akaashi nodded. “Sure. Can you get someone to cover my shift, then? As much as I think sleep is for the weak, I think I might be running out of steam before noon.”
Ennoshita nodded so enthusiastically Akaashi briefly wondered if the man’s neck would hurt later. “Of course! Thank you so much!”
Akaashi waved him off, heading out again to turn the coffee machine in the adjacent break room on. “It’s fine. I’ll put some coffee on, I’ll be back in a minute to get started.”
Ennoshita thanked him profusely, then finished his round of the room and left. Ten minutes later Akaashi, with a fresh cup of coffee, sat in front of his terminal and logged in, quickly pulling up mission schematics and reading through them. Once he was finished getting acquainted with the specifics, he put on his headset and turned it on to the correct frequency. “Echo, this is Mission Control. Status report?”
A scuffle, some curse words and a ‘thud’ later his question was answered. “Evening, Akaashi!”
“Hi, Akaashi!”
“Shut up, Bo, adults are talking. We’re good, just getting started.”
Akaashi rolled his eyes. “Copy that. What’s the status on your target?”
“Building’s clear, just some light security around. Should be in-and-out, easy peasy.”
“Akaashi, I was wondering—”
“Oh my god, are you fucking serious right now?”
“Shut UP, dude! Anyway, Akaashi, I was thinking, maybe we could go out for coffee or something when I get back? Or, like, dinner? Whatever you want, I mean, if you want.”
“Smooth. Real smooth, Romeo.”
“Shut. UP. No one’s talking to you!”
Akaashi cracked a smile. “Are you asking me out on a date, Bokuto-san?”
“Um. Y-yeah. Yeah. I am!”
“Jesus fucking Christ. Way to be confident. Dudes dig confidence, bro. You’ll get there eventually.”
“Hey, just because you can’t get that cute guy from accounting to go out with you—”
“That is fucking it!”
Akaashi listened to their lively bickering and fighting with a smile. He let them carry on with what he assumed was minor wrestling for a couple of moments before clearing his throat. “If you two are quite done,” he began, waiting for the scuffle to end before continuing. “Bokuto-san. As flattered as I am, this is not the time.”
Silence reigned for a full minute. Then Kuroo began cackling.
“Shot down!”
“Shut up, that wasn’t a ‘no’! It wasn’t a ‘no’, right? Akaashi?”
Even though no one was there to see him, Akaashi hid his blush behind his coffee cup. “No, Bokuto-san, it wasn’t a ‘no’. You’re welcome to ask me again once you’re not on active duty. If you are still interested, that is.”
Kuroo’s cackling stopped immediately. “Holy shit.”
“YES! See, I told you it wasn’t a ‘no’! Akaashi, I’m definitely asking you out properly once we get back, mark my words!”
“Noted,” Akaashi replied, pulling up security feeds and blue prints of the building Bokuto and Kuroo were meant to be infiltrating. “The next guard shift will be in ten minutes. You will have a fifteen-minute time frame to get in, copy the hard drive, set the explosives and get out.”
“Copy that. Bo, you wanna take the boom-stuff or should I?”
“I’ll get it. I’m feelin’ lucky today.”
“I’m happy for you, bro.”
“Aww, thanks, man! You’ll always be my main man. My homie. My brother from another mother.”
“You meme a lot to me, too, bro.”
“Please focus on the mission,” Akaashi reminded them, staring mournfully at his empty coffee cup. “In case something goes wrong, there’s an extraction team half an hour away.”
“Please, like we’d need one.”
“Don’t jinx it, bro. I’ve got a date to plan.”
“…Dammit, Bokuto. You’re not supposed to say ‘jinx’, that’s gonna jinx it!”
“You just said it twice!”
“Please stop talking and get going already. Five minutes until shift change.”
“Copy that.”
“Would you say you’re more of a flower-guy or a chocolate-guy?”
Having hijacked external cameras from the neighbouring building, Akaashi could track their descent from the roof to the floor they were headed. “Flowers. I’m allergic to chocolate.”
“Shit, really?”
“Yes. Stop, security on the floor you’re about to pass,” he instructed.
The agents stopped immediately and waited for the all-clear. Akaashi took the moment to find the quickest route from their entry point (43rd story window, of all things) to the office of their target. “Alright, you’re clear to continue. Five floors down, then you’re at the 43rd floor.”
“Alrighty, that’s a ‘no’ on the chocolate, then.”
“You should’ve just turned him down, Akaashi. He’s gonna be insufferable.”
“My sincerest apologies, Kuroo-san. Once you enter the building, go through the room and to the hallway. The target’s office is the third door on the left. I’ve set up a loop for the cameras, so as long as you’ll be done in fifteen minutes, you won’t be seen,” Akaashi breezed, his fingers flying over the keyboard.
He briefly wondered if he should’ve taken his mother up on those piano lessons when he was seven, but dismissed the thought as quickly as it had come up. Instead, he watched as the two rowdy field agents cut a large, round hole in the glass and slipped in easily. He tracked their movements with the building’s cameras, keeping an eye out for any stray security guards. “No one on this floor. You’re clear to proceed.”
“Come on, bro, time to do what we do best.”
“Annoy people and break shit?”
“…That too. Kuroo, bro shambo over door-kicking rights?”
“You’re on.”
Akaashi listened to their quick game of rock-paper-scissors, which ended with Kuroo winning, if the annoyed huff Bokuto made was any indication. “Please don’t cause too much damage.”
“We’d never!”
A loud thud rang through their connection, followed by the sound of a door hitting the wall on impact.
“Whoops. My foot slipped.”
“Of course it did. Eleven minutes remaining, get a move on.”
“Right. Bo, set the explosives, I’ll get the hard drive.”
“I’ll show you a hard drive.”
“You asked Akaashi out not ten minutes ago and you’re already cheating? You’re a horrible human being.”
“Akaashi understands that it’s bros before hoes, don’t you?”
Oh, he couldn’t pass this up. “Oh, so am I the ‘hoe’ in this scenario? I’m starting to reconsider my yes.”
Kuroo couldn’t comment on his reply on the account of being too busy laughing his head off.
“No! I didn’t mean that! Of course you’re not a hoe! You’re, you’re an angel! You’re the furthest thing from a hoe!”
“That’s nice. Could you concentrate now? Nine minutes.”
“Hard drive copying, 23% done. Bo, check yourself before you wreck yourself.”
“I feel like the distribution of salt around here isn’t exactly equal.”
“Oh, I don’t know, I was kind of getting some real sodium chloride-thirsty vibes from you.”
“Did you fucking just ‘I crave that mineral’ me? I knew you had a tumblr, you shit!”
Akaashi sighed, rubbing his eyes. His lack of sleep was already beginning to get to him, and it was only… Jesus fucking Christ, 4:32 already? He was about to remind the two bickering agents of the passing of time when all the screens in the room went black. His heart skipped a beat.
“Echo, I’ve just lost all visual. Be advised, all visual is lost. Rebooting system now,” he immediately announced, hitting the speed-dial button for Daichi in the intercom system embedded in the desk. “Daichi-san, please come to Mission Control at your earliest convenience,” he stated as calmly as he managed, as per protocol.
After Ukai Jr. had left to apparently coach high school volleyball teams (why volleyball, Akaashi had absolutely no idea), Daichi had given all on-base staff a specific set of protocols according to departmental duties. For Ops, one of the protocols was that he was to be informed of any hardware malfunctions or other problems that occurred during active operations, however minor they may be.
Akaashi and other analysts found the protocols extremely helpful. It was reassuring to know that they weren’t on their own if a disaster occurred.
His headset was still operational, so he heard all that happened on the other end. “We’re all set, the copying’s at 75% already, so it shouldn’t take much longer.”
“Explosives set, timer’s at 8 minutes. It’ll start on your mark, Akaashi.”
His terminal finally came back online. He was still lacking a video connection, but he had thermal imaging of the building. Akaashi’s blood ran cold when he spotted the team of armed men heading straight for Bokuto and Kuroo’s floor. “The loop is not online anymore, I repeat, the loop is offline! Hostiles heading for your location, ETA 3 minutes!”
“Mother--! How?!”
“Everything on my end went dark,” Akaashi explained hurriedly, bringing all systems back online and his screens back up. “Are you armed?”
“Handguns, one spare clip each. How many guys are we talking?”
“Twelve,” Akaashi counted, “standby, I’ll contact Extraction.”
He flicked his headset to the next open channel. “Mission Control to Foxtrot. Requesting immediate extraction for team Echo, I repeat, immediate extraction.”
“Mission Control, this is Foxtrot. Heading for Echo now, ETA 26 minutes.”
“Copy that, Foxtrot. Switch to channel 27.86 for direct contact with Echo.”
“27.86, copy that. On our way.”
Akaashi switched back to Kuroo and Bokuto’s frequency. His ears were immediately assaulted by rapid gunfire and cursing. “Echo, status report!”
“We’re pinned down in the office! Kuroo’s got the hard drive copied up ready, you got us a ride?”
“ETA 26 minutes, can you make it to the roof?” Akaashi asked, furiously working to get back into the building’s security systems so he could see what was happening.
“We can’t, unless we get out and into the hallway. There a ventilation shaft or something we could get into?” Kuroo grunted, sounding like he was pushing something heavy.
Akaashi pulled up the building’s schematics. “There’s a shaft right above the desk. If you can access it, you should be able to crawl away from hostiles,” he replied.
There was a moment of silence before Kuroo sighed. “You mean the desk I literally just pushed in front of the door?”
Akaashi blinked. “Probably. Can you get to the vent? I don’t have full access to the building’s cameras yet, I can’t see you.”
“Come on, bro, I’ll give you a boost,” Bokuto offered.
The brief shuffling, cursing, and banging led Akaashi to determine that Kuroo was up on Bokuto’s shoulders working to get the vent open.
“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re heavy!”
“What, did you expect me to weigh nothing like a little girl?”
“Kinda, yeah.”
“That little remark aside, you know what we would’ve needed?”
“Don’t you fucking say—”
“Some rope. That would’ve made this a whole fuckload easier.”
Akaashi finally restored the connection. He could see the twelve men in the hallway, banging on the door. “Please stop bickering and get out of there. They’re getting something to ram the door with,” he cautioned.
Through the camera in the office, he watched as Kuroo finally got the panel open and pulled himself up. Once he was inside, he reached down to grab Bokuto’s outreached hand and pull him up.
He also had the best view when several bullets penetrated the door and made themselves home in Bokuto’s stomach.
Daichi arrived just in time to see everything unfold on the big screen. “What the—How did this happen?!” he shouted, grabbing a headset for himself and flicking it on.
Akaashi shook his head. “I don’t know, I’m sorry, I—Foxtrot, what’s your ETA?” he cleared his throat, ignoring Daichi’s incredulous look in his direction.
“ETA 15 minutes.”
“Step on it!” Kuroo hissed, managing to lean down far enough to grab Bokuto’s arm and pull him back upright. “I’m sorry, Bo, I have to pull you up!” he apologised in response to the short gasp of pain from his partner.
“Fuck me sideways, up the ass with a pineapple!” Bokuto cursed as he hefted himself up.
Akaashi and Daichi could no longer see the two, as they both were now in the vent. “How bad?” Daichi asked, voice calm as ever.
“I count three, no, four shots in the gut,” Kuroo replied. Bokuto grunted, and the distinct sound of duct tape being unrolled was heard.
“I’m taping him up for the trip upstairs. Akaashi, where’s a safe enough spot to get out of this fucking vent?”
With shaking fingers, Akaashi searched through the schematics for an exit point. “Head west until there’s another exit,” he advised, “you have a direct route, they’ll have to go around the building to get there. When you get out, head straight up however you can.”
“Copy that,” Kuroo replied. “Come on, bro, we gotta go.”
For the next few minutes, all Akaashi and Daichi could do was listen to Bokuto’s increasingly strained breathing and Kuroo’s concerned encouragements.
Akaashi couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so awful. If only he’d gotten the cameras back sooner. If only he’d never lost the connection to begin with!
His train of thought came to a screeching halt when Daichi muted both their headsets and sat down next to him. “What happened?” he asked. He looked serious, but there was no trace of blame or anything even remotely accusing in his tone or expression.
“The video feed was cut. I don’t know why, but I will find out,” he promised.
His eyes widened when Daichi’s hand landed on his shoulder and he felt a small, comforting squeeze. “Let’s concentrate on getting them back before we figure that out, shall we? Focus on your job, worry about your friends when they’re on their way home.”
Akaashi nodded numbly, turning back to his screen. Daichi unmuted their headsets. “How are you holding up, Bokuto?”
“J-just fucking peachy, boss,” came the strained response.
“You should be close to the exit by now,” Daichi said, inspecting the schematics. “Akaashi, can you make them disappear?”
Akaashi clenched his fists, getting to work. “Yes, sir. Re-establishing the video loop now.”
With a few keystrokes, he had recorded a piece of footage long enough to keep them off the radar.
“Alright, we’re at the exit. Are we clear?”
“Loop entering feed in 3, 2, 1, now. You’re clear, please exit the vent and make your way to extraction point,” he announced.
Through their screens, they saw the plate on the ceiling of an empty office bulge with each kick Kuroo directed to it. It soon fell off, and Kuroo hopped down. He reached back up to help Bokuto out.
Akaashi’s heart skipped a beat when he saw Bokuto. He was paler than he should be, with several rounds of duct tape covering the wounds on his stomach. Akaashi guessed that there was plenty of blood, but the black clothing masked all stains. “Head for the elevator.”
“Negative, head for the stairs,” Daichi intervened. “If you take the elevator, you’ll be sitting ducks.”
Akaashi looked at Daichi in outrage. “With all due respect, sir, Bokuto’s in no shape to run 20 floors!”
“I can do it, Akaashi. We’ll take the stairs.”
“Extraction will be waiting for you when you get there,” Daichi assured them.
“Yeah, ‘cause it’s gonna take us forever to get there,” Kuroo piped up, kicking the stairwell door in and lifting Bokuto’s arm over his shoulders to help him.
“You’re kicking shit an awful lot today, I feel.”
“Well, what can I say, it’s that kind of a day.”
“That rhymed, you nerd.”
“Don’t you ‘nerd’ me, Mr Bee Movie!”
“Excuse you, that movie’s a fucking classic!”
“There’s nothing that even makes sense in that fucking bizarre film!”
Akaashi found their constant bickering incredibly comforting. If it weren’t for the occasional grunt or moan of pain, he would’ve thought Bokuto was alright.
Somewhere around the 57th floor, the duo’s pace slowed down considerably. Bokuto was barely able to keep himself upright, and the brunt of his weight rested on Kuroo.
“I forgot getting shot hurts this fucking much.”
“Hang in there, Bo, we’ve only got, like, 6 stories to go. You can do it.”
“I’m really dizzy.”
“I know, but you gotta stay with me.”
“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi piped up.
“’Kaashi?”
“Bokuto-san, do you remember how we met?”
Daichi glanced at him, nodding. Akaashi was determined to keep Bokuto up and talking. “Do you remember?” he asked again.
“’Course I do,” Bokuto replied. Akaashi could hear the smile in his voice. It broke his heart. “I thought you were a ghost.”
“Remind me why exactly you thought I was a ghost?” Akaashi continued, ignoring the questioning look Daichi threw him.
“I kept seeing glimpses of you around base, but when I looked again you were gone, every time.”
Kuroo caught on to what Akaashi was doing, and doubled his efforts in moving them closer towards their extraction. “Dude, you were so annoying! He literally ran into the training centre and told me he saw a fucking ghost, did you know that?”
“I did not,” Akaashi smiled.
Bokuto laughed quietly. “Me and ‘Roo went looking for you, but every time I saw you and tried to get his attention so he could see you too, you were already gone.”
“It was a busy day,” Akaashi shrugged. “I thought I someone was tailing me all day, but I saw no one.”
“I kept thinking you must either be a really hot ghost or an angel, ‘cause you were so pretty and so… gone.”
Akaashi’s cheeks flared up. He cleared his throat. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Tell him what happened next,” Kuroo prompted.
“Oh yeah, it was really funny.”
“Not to me.”
“Shut up, you thought it was funny.”
“What? Tell me?” Akaashi tracked their progress on his screen, noting that they were so close to the roof exit.
“So, ‘Roo finally asked me what this mysterious ghost-guy looked like, and when I described you—”
“To excruciating detail,” Kuroo interjected.
“—he punched me and said ‘that’s Akaashi from Communications, moron!’”
“You had me chasing his ass all day when you could’ve just told me what he looks like from the start!”
“Then you just… walked in, wearing that black-pants and white-shirt combo you always wear and were, like, ‘Bokuto-san, I need you signature on these reports’, and that’s when I knew.”
Akaashi frowned. “Knew what?”
He didn’t receive an answer. “Knew what? Bokuto-san?”
“Fuck, I think he passed out,” Kuroo replied instead, stopping to lift Bokuto over his shoulder for the last two floors. “Is our ride here? Because I don’t think we’ve got the time to wait around!”
Daichi responded, seeing that Akaashi was too shocked to function for the moment. “They’re landing now. There’s a medic on board.”
“Thank fuck! He’s bleeding a shit ton.”
“I’m not sure that’s an accurate unit of measurement, but I’ll take your word for it,” Daichi sighed, rubbing his temples. “Christ, it’s not even five o’clock yet.”
Akaashi overrode the electronic lock on the door well before Kuroo made it all the way there. The only sounds audible were Kuroo’s laboured breaths and the steady whirring of the helicopter rotors.
The moment Kuroo reached the helicopter and deposited his unconscious partner to the tender care of team Foxtrot’s medic, Akaashi remotely cleared the timer on the bombs Bokuto had set in the office and set them off without further ado.
“Mission Control, this is Foxtrot. Agents on board, heading out now.”
“Copy that, Foxtrot, good job,” Daichi said. “Mission Control out.” He flicked both their headsets off, leaving the channel open on speakers so they could still monitor the situation.
Akaashi visibly deflated, melting on his chair as he removed his headset and rubbed his eyes. Daichi watched him for a brief moment. “Why are you here? Your shift doesn’t start until ten,” he asked the question that had been plaguing him since he woke up to his voice asking him to come to Mission Control.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Akaashi replied, deciding honesty was his best bet. “Well, I was sleeping, then I woke up. I came here to see if there was anything I could do, and Ennoshita asked me to cover for Yamaguchi. He’s sick, sir.”
Daichi lifted a hand in a peaceful manner. “It’s fine. You’ve had a long night. Go back to your room, try to get some sleep,” he instructed.
Akaashi sighed. “With all due respect, sir, I don’t think I can sleep,” he admitted.
“I understand, but I’d rather you try to get some rest,” Daichi insisted, making it clear that it was more of an order than a request. “Suga probably has something to help you sleep, if you’d like. I’ll let you know how Bokuto’s doing as soon as I know more.”
With a resigned nod, Akaashi took his headset off and stood up. “Thank you. Excuse me.” He took his coffee cup back to the break room, rinsed it and set it back in the cupboard before heading back to his rooms. He didn’t even think about going to Suga-san for sleeping aids. He’d tried them, and he’d hated the way they made his head fuzzy in the morning. He’d rather have no sleep than a fuzzy brain.
Reaching for the door handle made him finally see the tremor in his hands. Clenching his fist, he steadfastly ignored it and stepped in, heading straight for the bathroom once the door was shut and locked again. He turned the shower on and, without thinking twice about it, took his shoes off and stepped in.
He closed his eyes and stood under the spray, letting the water drench his clothes and clear his mind.
He had no idea how long he’d been standing there when he blinked back to awareness and shut off the water. After removing his wet clothes and drying himself off, he went to his bedroom and grabbed a pair of loose pants from his closet before pulling back the covers on his bed and crawling in, pulling the duvet up to his ears.
No matter how much he tried, sleep evaded him. He curled up and tried very hard not to think about what had transpired.
He was woefully unsuccessful. He kept hearing the pained noises Bokuto had made, the laboured breath, the way he’d curled in on himself when the bullets hit…
Akaashi bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood. It hurt, but it didn’t help. He wiped away the tears that had snuck out onto his cheeks. He wasn’t supposed to cry. He wasn’t the one bleeding because of a mistake someone else made. He wasn’t the one who might die because someone couldn’t keep their systems online.
He covered his mouth to muffle the sobs threatening to break free. He should be out there trying to find out why his system crashed instead of lying in bed crying about it!
But as hard as he tried, he couldn’t get up. Every passing minute made his body feel heavier and heavier, the thought of getting out of bed and going to work seeming an impossible feat.
Eventually he fell into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.
*
Sugawara turned off the recording of the borderline catastrophic operation with a sigh. “Do we have any idea as to why our system crashed?”
Daichi shook his head, pointing at the pair of feet visible from beneath the main console. “Nothing conclusive.”
“It’s definitely not a hardware problem,” the person beneath the console piped up. “Everything’s in tip-top shape, boss. I’ll check our servers and then move onto software.”
The way the man crawled out and straightened up fluidly made Sugawara think of a cat. However, had he not known the short, brown-haired man with sharp, intelligent eyes, he might’ve thought his personality matched his calm façade. A housecat, however, was a completely different from a tiger.
Sugawara raised a delicate eyebrow, glancing at the clock on the wall. “I’m surprised you’re up at this hour, Yaku. I would’ve thought you’d be sleeping.”
“I was,” Yaku replied easily, rubbing his eyes tiredly before saluting the two of them and strolling out, presumably to the server room in the basement.
Sugawara made a mental note to have a talk with the technic about proper sleep schedules and turned back to Daichi. “Have you gotten an update on Bokuto’s condition?”
“Yes,” Daichi sighed, rubbing his temples. “He’s in surgery. They said he’s in the clear if he makes it through the operation.”
“And Kuroo?”
“Refuses to leave his side, as expected. I gave him permission to stay, provided that he keeps us informed of any changes.” Daichi took out his phone, checking if there were any messages he might’ve missed. There were none, so he looked up at Sugawara and put his phone away. “Did Akaashi come see you?”
Sugawara shook his head, frowning. “Was he supposed to?”
“Not really, I just suggested it to him.” Daichi glanced around to make sure the room was empty before continuing. “He said he didn’t think he could sleep, and I suggested he come see you for some sleep aids. Suga, I don’t think he’s been sleeping much lately,” he said.
“I’ve noticed the same,” Suga agreed, concern written all over his face. “I’ll talk to him later today, see if he would mind a few days off, or someone to talk to.”
Daichi nodded, then smiled and hugged Suga. “What would I do without you?” he asked, enjoying the warmth he always felt around Suga.
“Crash and burn,” Suga replied, as always.
*
When Akaashi woke up, it was already well past noon. He stared at the clock on his bedside table, his mind dull with sleep. It took him a while to remember he wasn’t two hours late for his shift, but that Daichi had told him to take the day off.
He would’ve stayed in bed if not for the rather insistent knocking on his door around fifteen minutes after he woke up. With a quiet grunt, he rolled out of bed, pulled a sweater over his head and shuffled to the door.
Sugawara’s smile greeted him when he opened the door. He wanted to slam it right back shut, but seeing as how A) Sugawara-san was his superior, slamming a door on his face would be very disrespectful and he’d been taught better, B) Sugawara-san was also his physician, it would be unwise to anger him, and finally, and maybe most importantly, C) Suga-san was a friend, and Akaashi did not slam doors on the faces of his friends.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Sugawara asked, his smile changing into one of concern instead of the usual friendliness he displayed.
“No, I was awake. Would you like to come in?” Akaashi opened the door further, stepping aside as an invitation.
“If you don’t mind,” Sugawara replied, waiting for Akaashi to shake his head before walking in. “I brought you some tea I found from Switzerland.” He held the small box out to him.
Akaashi took the box with a small smile. “Thank you. I’ll make us some,” he offered, closing the door and heading for the kitchen.
Sugawara looked around as he took a seat on the couch. The walls were empty of any posters or pictures. Akaashi had plenty of books, he was glad to notice. Not many movies, though. Then again, he’d never pictured Akaashi as a movie-watching person.
“Akaashi, how long have you worked here?” he called, glancing towards the kitchen before getting up and wandering over to the bookshelf.
“Five and a half years, three of them in Communications, the rest in Ops.”
Sugawara raised his eyebrows, scanning the titles. “Can I be direct?”
Akaashi stepped back into the living room area, carrying a small tray loaded with two cups of tea and a plate of cookies. “When are you anything but?” he raised an eyebrow, setting the tray down on the coffee table and sitting down.
Sugawara smiled. “I suppose you’re right,” he admitted. “How are you doing? Both Daichi and I have noticed that you’ve been looking tired for a while now. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”
Akaashi paused. He’d seen this coming a mile away. “I’m fine, Suga-san. If this is about last night, I’m well aware that I made a mistake. I would be working on finding out why had Daichi-san not told me to take today off.”
Sugawara’s smile dropped and he sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh. “Akaashi, it really wasn’t your—”
“Fault? I lost the connection, the system crashed on my watch. Bokuto got shot on my watch. How is that not my fault?” Akaashi snapped. “I don’t even know if Bokuto’s still alive!”
Sugawara grabbed Akaashi’s hand, alerting the younger man to the fact that it was shaking. “Listen to me. First of all, Bokuto’s alive. In critical condition, but alive. Secondly, it was not your fault. Yaku found out someone hacked us.”
All anger and self-hate slowly drained out of Akaashi as confusion replaced them. “What? How?”
Suga shrugged before shaking his head. “The hacker most likely got in during the shutdown, and there was no way you could’ve known that. You couldn’t have stopped the security men from shooting, and you couldn’t have stopped Bokuto from getting shot.”
Akaashi had no words. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. The nagging feeling of guilt came creeping back and he had no way of stopping it. “But… I should’ve known there was a breach. I’m a senior analyst. It’s my job,” he insisted, yanking his hand out of Suga’s grip.
“No. The fact that you’re a senior analyst doesn’t mean you’re psychic. You’ve been in Ops for two and a half years now,” Suga ventured. “It’s an awful lot of responsibility for someone as young as you. Your work has been exemplary, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t help but wonder how you’re dealing with the stress.”
Shaking his head, Akaashi handed one of the cups to Suga and rested the other one on his knee. “Fine,” he evaded.
“Uh huh,” Suga replied, taking a sip casually. “I’d like to apologise in advance for what I’m about to say.”
Akaashi frowned. “I, uh… Apology accepted?” he hesitated.
Suga set his cup on the table politely, then turned to face the younger man. “Akaashi, I respect you and value as a friend and colleague, but there is no way in hell you’re fine. Please, please tell me what’s going on?”
Akaashi bit his lip. Suga went to put a hand on his shoulder, but he flinched and the cup resting on his knee fell to the floor, shattering on impact. His eyes widened and his hand covered his mouth on instinct. “I’m sorry!” he squeaked, sliding down to kneel on the floor and pick up the shards.
Suga slid down as well and helped him quietly. Once they’d gathered all the biggest shards, he looked up at Akaashi. “I’m sorry. I’m going about this the wrong way. I was going to be calm and collected and ask if you wanted to talk to me about what’s obviously bothering you, and I yelled at you.”
Akaashi sighed, staring at the shattered remains of his third favourite cup on the carpet. “You’re right. I’m not alright. I have nightmares of people dying while I sit there and do nothing,” he whispered.
“Akaashi,” Suga whispered, placing a hand on Akaashi’s shoulder. “You don’t ‘do nothing’. You make sure they have backup and an extraction plan in place. If there’s no way out, if an agent’s dying, they’re not alone. What you do, when you stay with them, it helps. They know they’re not alone. What that does to your mental well-being, however, I can’t even imagine.”
“You’re right,” Akaashi said. “You can’t imagine what it’s like, listening to people you know, people you call friends die, while all you can do is listen and watch. There’s nothing you can do to help them, and nothing I say means anything.”
Suga pulled Akaashi into a hug. The younger man tensed up, but relaxed after a moment. “It means the world to them to know there’s someone listening. Everyone I’ve spoken with agrees with me. The work you and everyone else in Ops do is probably the most important work in this entire agency,” Suga spoke with quiet certainty.
“Then why do I feel like it doesn’t matter?”
The question was loaded with the weight of the world. Suga felt like crying. “It matters, Akaashi.” He tightened his arms around the younger man’s shoulders, not entirely sure if it was to Akaashi’s benefit or his. “Is there anything I can do? If you want to talk about this, I’m more than happy to listen. If you want to take some time off, that’s also an option. Whatever you need.”
Akaashi nodded, prompting Suga to release him from the vice-like hug. “Thank you, Suga-san. I’ll think about it. For now, though, I’d like to continue working as I have.”
Suga smiled and nodded, taking his tea and handing the cup to Akaashi before clearing the shards from the carpet and taking them to the kitchen. After he’d discarded the shards, he began brewing a new cup. His phone chimed with a new message, interrupting his thought process.
12:38
Daichi: Bokuto’s stable. They’ll keep him under observation for a few days until they’re sure he can be moved. Kuroo’s staying, I’m sending Noya to take him some fresh clothes. Tell Akaashi Yaku says the hacker triggered one of his fail safes and that’s what caused the blackout. Yaku also said he will “burn the guy’s house and destroy his crops for bringing dishonour to his cows”, whatever that means.
Suga smiled. Another message came in before he had a chance to tell Akaashi the good news.
12:39
Daichi: Yaku’s on his third ‘triple shot caramel macchiato’, or whatever it is that Ennoshita’s supplying him with. I’m slightly concerned. I’m cutting him off.
“Daichi says Bokuto’s stable,” he glanced into the living room, smiling to himself when he caught the way Akaashi perked up visibly. “He’ll be in the hospital for a few days, but once he’s cleared we’re moving him back here.”
Akaashi let out a relieved sigh. “That’s good to hear.”
Suga rolled his eyes at Daichi’s newest message, taking his now ready tea and walking back to the couch. “Yaku says the hacker triggered one of his fail safes, that’s what caused the connection to fail. He’s working on finding them as we speak.”
Akaashi nodded, taking a sip of tea. He rather liked the head of Communications. Sure, he could be rough around the edges, especially if he hadn’t slept in a while, but he cared deeply about his co-workers and making sure everything on their end was running smoothly.
A random thought occurred to him, something he remembered from his time in Communications. “Did he mention cows in some way?”
Suga blinked. “Um, yes, he did,” he hazarded, raising an eyebrow and opening the message again. “Apparently he said that he will ‘burn the guy’s house and destroy his crops for bringing dishonour on his cows’,” he read.
“Sounds like Yaku-san,” Akaashi confirmed.
Suga decided to ignore the obvious change of subject and carry on. Akaashi would talk to him when he wanted to. He took a hearty sip of tea before grabbing a cookie off the plate on the coffee table. Suga was about to comment on the technician’s unhealthy habits when his phone chimed a third time. “What now?” he muttered, opening the message.
12:46
Daichi: Where do you keep your tranquillizers? He’s not responding well to being cut off.
The medic heaved a deep, heartfelt sigh. “Unruly children, that’s what you people are.” He finished his tea and ate the cookie quickly before putting his phone back into his pocket. “I should go make sure Daichi doesn’t ransack my office for sedatives. That is not the way to deal with a feral cat,” he joked, enjoying the small smile that appeared on Akaashi’s face.
“How do you deal with a feral cat?” Akaashi asked out of curiosity.
Suga walked to the door with a shrug. “I usually give them a treat and wait it out. This time, however, I might have to make sure the treat includes something ulcer-friendly.”
Akaashi nodded, setting his cup on the table. “Thank you, Suga-san.”
Suga turned to look at him from the door. “Don’t let it get too much. Nightmares are a way for your mind to warn you when you’re pushing yourself too hard. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to me, I’d ask that you find someone you’re comfortable talking to, if only to get some peace of mind. You don’t have to try and deal with this alone.”
“I’ll think about it,” Akaashi said. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” Suga prompted.
“How would you treat a wounded owl?”
Suga contemplated on the seemingly innocent question. It was fairly obvious that Akaashi wasn’t talking about the nocturnal avian creatures. “With time, patience and plenty of affection,” he eventually said, giving Akaashi a meaningful look before leaving to see what exactly was the fuss all about.
Akaashi stared after him for a few moments before clearing away the dishes and going back to bed.
*
Daichi rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Remind me again why I hired you?”
“I’m low maintenance compared to, say, Kuroo?” Yaku guessed, his eyes glued to the screens in front of him, fingers dancing across the keyboard.
“Oh, right,” Daichi muttered. “Silly of me to forget. Are you—”
“Close? Oh, no, I’m just shopping on Amazon. On your account, of course. Nice wish list, by the way, very kinky.” The technician rolled his eyes. “What I do know is that this person is not from the company our dear friends infiltrated last night. This is someone else, and they tried to access our employee records.”
“Jesus Christ.” Daichi felt a headache slowly making its way into existence somewhere in the back of his head. The sensation was significantly eased by Sugawara’s hands sneaking into his back pockets. “Hello,” he greeted, glancing over his shoulder to see the familiar smile.
“Hello,” Suga greeted back, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “How’s it going?”
“He’s working on it,” Daichi nodded towards Yaku, who pointedly ignored them. “And on your end?”
“Problematic, but getting there,” Suga replied, not wanting to go into details with Yaku there. He wasn’t in the habit of gossiping about his friends.
“This is going to take a while. I’ll call you guys when I know something,” Yaku promised, taking a sip from the large cup next to the keyboard.
Daichi nodded, then led Suga out of the room. They’d long since decided it was better to just let the technician do his thing without watching over his shoulder. Plausible deniability went a long way, Daichi had discovered.
They decided to camp out in Daichi’s office for the time being. Once behind closed doors, Daichi asked about Akaashi’s condition as he sat behind his desk to start filling out the incident report.
“Akaashi’s on his way to a nervous breakdown if we can’t help him,” Suga explained, sitting on the edge of the table. “I told him I’d be happy to listen, and asked that he finds someone to talk to if he doesn’t want to talk to me. I also told him that we’ll give him all the time off he needs.”
Daichi ran a hand through his hair. “Alright. Best we deal with it as soon as we can and as delicately as we can. Could you find out if he’d like us to arrange him an outside therapist?”
Suga mulled over the idea for a moment. “I can do that. He probably wouldn’t mind it, or at least oppose it as aggressively as few other people we know.”
“Don’t even remind me,” Daichi groaned and leaned down to rest his forehead on his desk. “Can I just take a nap now?”
Suga patted his head comfortingly. “There, there.”
*
Akaashi lied on his bed, idly tinkering with his phone. His finger hovered over his contacts, specifically over Kuroo’s name. Before he could convince himself otherwise, he tapped the green phone icon and set the phone on his ear.
After a couple of rings, Kuroo answered.
“’Sup, ‘Kaashi?”
“How’s Bokuto-san?” He didn’t believe in beating around the bush.
Kuroo was quiet for a moment, making Akaashi’s brain go haywire until he sighed and spoke again. “He’s going to be okay. He’s in the ICU, just got out of surgery. Doc says with a few weeks rest, he’ll be as good as new.”
Akaashi sighed in relief. “That’s good to hear. Do you know when you’ll be moved back to HQ?”
“No idea. Probably a few days, maybe a week.”
“Do you think it’d be,” he paused, looking for the correct phrase for what he meant, “presumptuous of me to come see him?”
“Worried you’ll miss out on that date?”
He could practically hear the smirk on Kuroo’s face. It was annoying. “Of course not.”
“Of course not. Nah, he’d be glad to see you. I bet he’d jump up and dance. Actually, if you’re coming, I’m gonna tell the nurses to pump him full of drugs so he doesn’t do that.”
With a small smile, Akaashi made a mental note to ask Suga-san for a few days off so he could go see Bokuto.
“Hey, can you bring me something to read? I think Noya’s only bringing clothes and stuff. And a charger. I’ve only got, like, 10% battery left.”
“Sure. If I remember.”
“Akaashi, don’t be so mean!”
Akaashi hung up, feeling hell of a lot better than he had an hour ago. Now all he had to do was pack a bag and ask Suga-san for some time off.
He wasn’t dumb enough to be stubborn about asking time off. He knew his head was not where it was supposed to be, and he couldn’t risk making a mistake that could cost someone their life. Last night had been terrifying, and he wasn’t about to repeat it.
*
When Bokuto woke up, it was to the sound of a low, steady beeping. The room was dim, and the surface he was laying on was soft and… clean? He cracked an eye open and looked around, recognising the white walls and monitors as things usually found in hospitals.
His mind was fuzzy and nothing hurt, which was a clear sign that he was on the good stuff. Now if he could just remember why exactly…
Oh, right. THAT’S why. Well, getting shot sucked balls, but in his line of work, it wasn’t exactly unexpected.
“Bokuto-san?”
Speaking of the unexpected. “Akaashi?” Turning his head to his left, Bokuto saw the slender, dark-haired figure and decided then and there that he was on the really good stuff.
“I suppose morphine could be described as ‘really good’.”
Oh. He said that out loud, didn’t he.
“Yes you did. How are you feeling, aside from obviously high?”
“I’m good,” Bokuto smiled lazily, reaching out to poke Akaashi’s shoulder to further confirm his new suspicion that the man was indeed sitting in the uncomfortable-looking plastic chair by his bed.
Akaashi raised an eyebrow and patiently waited for him to be done with the poking. “Are you done?”
Bokuto nodded slowly. “I think so. Did you come see me all the way from base?” He smiled, letting his hand dangle over the bedside.
“I did, but it’s not that far away. It only took three hours to fly here,” Akaashi replied.
“You flew three hours to see me?” His smile widened. “Aww, I knew you liked me.”
Akaashi bravely ignored the heat in his cheeks and shrugged. “Well, I recall agreeing to go on a date with you, so I suppose I do.”
“You liiike me,” Bokuto drawled. “You like-liiiiiiike me.”
The door opened and Kuroo walked in. He took one look at the dorky grin on Bokuto’s face and the blush on Akaashi’s cheeks, then promptly turned on his heels and walked right back out.
Bokuto didn’t even notice. Akaashi rolled his eyes.
“Yes, Bokuto-san, I like you. Go back to sleep, I’ll be here.”
“Yes, sir!” Bokuto sighed with a smile, allowing his eyes to slip shut. He was back asleep under five minutes.
Akaashi watched as he slept with a small smile. Around ten minutes after Bokuto had passed out again, Kuroo opened the door again and poked his head in. “Is it safe?”
Akaashi looked at him with a deadpan expression. “Yes.”
“Oh good,” Kuroo smirked, stepping inside and closing the door after him. He held out a cardboard cup towards the younger man. “Got you come coffee.”
“Thank you,” Akaashi accepted the coffee gracefully, taking the lid off and blowing on the steaming liquid before taking a sip.
“So,” Kuroo began conversationally, “were there confessions of undying love and tears? Because if there were, I might be forced to barf.”
Akaashi rolled his eyes. “No need to resort to such extreme measures. We simply established that my feelings towards Bokuto-san are of the positive sort.”
Kuroo stared at him. “Seriously? ‘Of the positive sort’? Why can’t you just say you like him like a normal person?”
Akaashi huffed. “You’re not wrong, Kuroo-san.”
“I very rarely am,” Kuroo admitted sagely. His mirthful expression sombered momentarily. “Look, I’m not one for chick-flick moments, but I wanted to talk about what happened.”
Akaashi’s heart skipped a beat. Whatever relief he’d felt after his talk with Suga-san dissipated, the guilt and anxiety beginning to creep back from the depths of his mind. “I’m s—”
Kuroo raised a hand to silence him. “That’s not what I meant. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I wanted to thank you for getting extraction on the move that fast. If they’d been five minutes later, I don’t think Bo would’ve made it,” he explained, glancing at Bokuto briefly.
Akaashi saw the worry and fear in Kuroo’s eyes, try as he might to hide it. It was clear as day, especially because he felt the same fear. His heart clenched all over again.
“So, um,” Kuroo muttered, rubbing the back of his head and evading Akaashi’s attempts at eye contact, looking at the floor instead, “thanks. For doing that. And keeping him awake for that long. It helped.”
For a few minutes, neither of them spoke. Kuroo was silent out of embarrassment, Akaashi of astonishment. Eventually the younger man managed to get his brain back on track. “I, uh. I’m glad I could help. I’m sorry for losing the connection. If I hadn’t, I would’ve spotted them coming at you.”
Kuroo shook his head. “You know what? Just let me say thank you for saving my best friend’s life, alright? The hack was unavoidable, you reacted quick enough to get us the hell out of there, and you sure as hell weren’t the one to shoot him. So, in summary, there’s nothing to apologise for. Thank you.”
Two simple words were enough to bring down the shaky walls Akaashi had built around his mind. He bit his lip again, clutching the cup to keep his hands from shaking.
“You okay?” Kuroo asked hesitantly.
Akaashi shook his head and looked up at Bokuto, who was sleeping peacefully for the time being. “No, but I will be.”
*
Yaku rolled his shoulders as his laptop worked before him. He’d set up an algorithm to track the hacker. So far there’d been nothing, as the culprit had routed and rerouted themselves through practically 20% of the world’s signal towers. It was infuriating, but Yaku wasn’t worried. The hacker was good, but he was better.
His laptop pinged as the algorithm recognised another cell tower, this one in Malaysia. “Kuala Lumpur?” Yaku scoffed, shaking his head. “As if. Let’s see where you really are, shall we?”
While the program looked for his current nemesis, Yaku checked on the firewalls and other safety measures he’d built around their system. One of those safety measures was a line of code that made the system cut itself off from all outside contact and revert back to internal network if certain files were in danger of being compromised. He’d designed that code himself. It had worked. The files remained safe, but the short blackout had almost cost an agent their life.
Yaku decided not to think about it until he’d slept for at least fourteen hours.
After ten minutes, the laptop pinged again, this time repeatedly. The technician raised an eyebrow, turning to his laptop with interest. “Where are you…” he muttered, opening the small window that had appeared on the corner of his screen.
The IP address and the corresponding physical address made the victorious smile melt off his face and sent him scrambling for his phone.
Once the call connected, he ignored the polite greeting on the other end. “Boss, we’ve got a problem.”