Chapter Text
The air of the Wiskayok High locker room clung to Jackie’s skin, an unfortunately familiar blend of sweat, and cheap deodorant. Her practice uniform, damp from the humid summer evening, stuck uncomfortably to her skin. She pulled a brush through her hair, the strands latching onto the brush, a tangled mess of what used to be effortless waves. Tonight’s practice had been a blur of drills. She moved when she was told to move, barely registering anything. Her lack of proper nutrition left everything feeling distant, and slightly unreal.
Shauna had sat the game out with some 'injury' sitting on the bleachers beside Jeff. Between drills, Jackie caught glimpses of them, Jeff leaning in way too close for her liking, Shauna’s jaw tight, their words sharp and hurried. It didn’t look playful. more argumentative if anything.
A quiet shuffling interrupted her thoughts. Misty, sitting on a bench across the room, shoving some random stack of papers into her pink backpack. Her blonde curls were a wild halo around her head, glasses perched on her nose, Misty, the teams equipment manager, she's usually a person of observation and rambling, although she was always weird. Tonight, however, an unusual tension radiated from her.
"Hey Misty,” Jackie prompted, a forced cheerfulness in the almost empty room. Most of the team had already cleared out, talking about cold showers and Friday night plans. The noise faded with them, hurried movements echoing. Tai and Van lingered quietly caught up in some conversation between the rows of lockers.
Misty’s head snapped up, "Hey.." her brown eyes, usually wide with curiosity, narrowed slightly behind her round frames. She gave a tight, uneasy smile. clutching some thick textbook to her chest. The movement was so tense.. so unlike her usual bubbly demeanor, Jackie paused, narrowing her eyes. Her brush hanging mid sweep.
“Jackie,” Misty’s voice was barely above a whisper, a contrast to her usual rapid fire delivery of facts about her interests. She pushed her glasses up her nose, a nervous habit. “Can I… talk to you for a second?” She stopped herself, pressing her lips together. “It’s kind of important.”
Jackie dropped the brush somewhere into her locker, the plastic clattering against the metal. A knot tightened in her stomach. Misty never ‘just talked.’ Misty delivered information, usually unsolicited and always impossible to ignore. She didn’t hover things or beat around the bush. this hesitation and the obvious discomfort, set off something uneasy in Jackie’s chest. Alarm bells.
But Jackie wasn't the kind of girl to let something show on her face. She quickly smoothed her hair back and straightened her shoulders, turning with a practiced, yet effortless smile bright, untouchable, perfectly composed.“yeah! what’s up?” She crossed her arms loosely, tilting her head just enough to seem patient and unfazed. Like she had everything handled. She always did.
Misty’s gaze darted around the locker room, as if checking for unseen eavesdroppers, though they were practically alone. At the far end of the locker room, Tai and Van lingered by the lockers, standing a little too close. Van murmured something that made Tai smile. Tai’s hand brushed Van’s arm before either of them pulled away. Jackie’s eyes lingered a second too long. Huh.
They headed out together, shoulders nearly touching, their low laughter trailing down the hall as the door swung shut behind them leaving Misty and Jackies all by themselves.
"It’s about… it’s about Shauna,” Misty finally managed, her voice hushing on the name.
Her best friend. The girl with the brown doe brown eyes. They’d been inseparable since kindergarten. Sleepovers, shared clothes, whispered secrets under blankets long past midnight. Jackie could read her without trying. The way her hand fit so easily into hers, how her laugh sounded when it wasn’t held back. the way she’d go quiet when something was bothering her, the way she always hovered just a little closer than anyone else.
For a moment, there was only Shauna.
Then reality rushed back in.
Misty chewed on her lower lip, her gaze fixed on some scuff mark on the tiled floor. “I… I saw something..” Then her words came out in a rush like a dam breaking. “Last night. I was… I was walking around the neighbourhood. don't ask okay, and I walked by Jeff's car.. then I heard… I heard noises.."
“Noises?” she repeated, her voice coming out flatter than she meant it to.
Misty nodded, words tripping over each other again. “Yeah, like I don’t know, I didn’t mean to listen. I swear. it just it didn’t sound like nothing, And the windows were kind of fogged up and I thought it was you at first but then the hair looked darker and I just I didn’t think about it until today”
Misty was always like this. Dramatic. Observant in the worst way, she was rambling. Of course she was rambling. Misty never told a story straight through she made it bigger than it needed to be.
Jackie’s mind snagged on mention of dark hair. Plenty of girls had dark hair. Half the team had dark hair. It didn’t mean anything. Misty probably saw a shadow and filled in the rest.
Shauna wouldn’t. Jeff wouldn’t..?
Her jaw tightened. “Misty,” she said carefully, keeping her voice even. “What exactly are you trying to say right now?"
Misty swallowed, like she wished she could take it back. Her voice wavered. “Jeff and Shauna were hooking up.”
Jackie’s heart hammered against her ribs. The words just sitting there.
Jackie stared at Misty, waiting for the punchline. This felt like the kind of story that ended with a sheepish shrug and a “but I’m probably wrong.”
Jackie let out a short breath that almost sounded like a laugh. “That’s ridiculous,” she said automatically.
“No,” Jackie breathed, the single word a desperate plea, denial against the undeniable truth etched on Misty’s face. “No. You saw wrong. It couldn’t have been them. Shauna wouldn’t… Jeff wouldn’t…” Her mind kept circling back to the car. The fogged windows. Jeff’s stupid car parked under the streetlight like it had nothing to hide.
Misty shook her head, just once. “It was his car, Jackie. I know it was. The dent on the bumper? and that broken headlight ” Her voice trembled. “And I saw her. When he leaned back, the light hit it. It was her.”
“I wish I was wrong, Jackie. I really do. But it was them." She sniffled, reaching for a tissue from her pocket. “I’m so sorry, Jackie. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to tell you, but… you deserve to know.”
A wave of nausea washed over Jackie. Her legs felt weak. Her knees nearly buckled. She lowered herself onto the bench before she could fall, Jeff. Shauna. The betrayal was a bitter taste in her mouth. She tried to picture her sweet, loyal best friend with the woman Misty had just described. but her mind kept rejecting the image, Shauna, who had always been so quiet, so unassuming, so… hers. and Jeff, the boy who held her hand in the hallway, who talked about the future like it was already decided, like they were inevitable.
“How… how do you know?” Jackie asked, her voice hoarse, barely a whisper. “How do you know they… they actually did anything?”
Misty’s gaze flickered away, a flush creeping up her face. “I… I heard sounds, Jackie. like Intimate... sounds. And the way Shauna was calling his name… it wasn’t just kissing. It was… more. Shauna was on top of Jeff, like.. going up and down" She clenched the tissue in her hands. “I’m sorry. I know this is awful.”
Jackie stared at the chipped paint on the locker door opposite her, her vision blurring. Intimate sounds. on top?? the words echoed in her head, each one a hammer blow. Shauna. Her best friend. With Jeff. Her boyfriend. The jealousy began to coil in her gut, twisting and tightening. It wasn't just the betrayal, it was the vivid imagery, the thought of Shauna on Jeff’s lap, Shauna’s moans mingling with his, Shauna’s body pressed against his.
A strange heat began to bloom in Jackie’s chest, spreading outward, not just anger, but something else, something unsettling. Maybe it was the shock and the sheer audacity of it. The sheer audacity of Shauna. Shauna, the quiet one, the one who always seemed to stand in Jackie’s shadow, had dared to take what was hers. Had dared to explore that forbidden intimacy. The intimacy she was saving till marriage.
Before she could think better of it, she leaned in and gave her a quick, awkward hug. Misty froze for half a second, clearly not expecting it, then hugged back too tightly, like she wasn’t sure how long she was supposed to hold on.
Jackie pulled away almost immediately, smoothing her hands down the sides of her shorts like she could reset the moment.
“Yeah,” she muttered, not quite meeting her eyes. “I’m… glad you told me.”
“I just thought you should know.” She zipped her backpack, hovering for a second like she might say something else, then thought better of it.“I should go. My mom’s probably waiting.” She offered a small, hesitant smile, then turned and hurried out of the locker room, leaving Jackie alone in the echoing space.
Jackie stood there for a long moment, the scent of stale sweat and betrayal filling her nostrils. The image of Shauna and Jeff, entwined in the dark, played on a loop in her mind. She pictured Jeff’s hands, the ones that had traced patterns on her own skin, now on Shauna. His lips, that had met hers countless times, now pressed against Shauna’s.
The anger surged, a visceral force. How could they? How could Shauna, her best friend, do this? A choked sound escaped Jackie’s throat, a mixture of a sob and a growl. She wanted to scream, to rage, to break something. But then, through the fury, another feeling began to surface, a strange, undeniable warmth.
It started in her stomach, a low thrum that spread downwards, igniting a flush across her skin. The thought of Shauna, usually so innocent, in such a raw, intimate act… it was shocking. And it was also… exciting.
Jackie walked to her locker, her movements stiff. She pulled out her gym bag, her hands fumbling with the zipper. Her eyes fell on a stray t-shirt, balled up and forgotten. It was soft, worn. She picked it up, feeling the fabric between her fingers.
The image of Shauna, messy haired, shirt untucked, Jeff's satisfied expression… it intensified the heat within her. She closed her eyes, and in the darkness behind her lids, she saw it clearly. Shauna, her head thrown back, her soft brown hair fanned out, her lips parted in a gasp.
And Jeff, his face contorted in pleasure, his body moving against hers, eugh.
A shiver ran through Jackie, not of cold, but of something hot and illicit. She clutched the t-shirt to her chest, the soft cotton a poor substitute for the warmth of a body. The jealousy, sharp and painful, twisted into something darker, something lustful. She imagined herself there, not as a heartbroken observer, but as a participant. Not as Shauna, but as Jeff.
She saw Shauna’s face, flushed and vulnerable, her doe eyes half closed. She imagined her own hands, Jeff’s hands, on Shauna’s skin. Tracing the curve of her hip, pulling her closer, feeling the give of her soft flesh. She imagined the scent of Shauna, blended with sweat and arousal. The soft sounds Shauna would make, her little gasps and moans that Misty had overheard.
Jackie’s breath hitched. Her body felt heavy, charged with an unfamiliar energy. She wanted to feel that power, that control. She wanted to be the one eliciting those sounds from Shauna. She wanted to be the one making Shauna gasp, making her eyes flutter closed in pleasure.
She opened her eyes, her gaze falling on a forgotten, sorta deflated football on the floor. It was too hard. She needed something soft. Her eyes scanned the room, landing on a pile of discarded towels. No, not right. Then, her gaze landed on the bench where she had been sitting. Her gym bag. And inside it, her fluffy, oversized throw pillow she sometimes brought for extra comfort during long bus rides to games.
She pulled the pillow out, it was soft, a welcome sensation. She clutched it, pressing it against her hips. The image in her mind sharpened. Shauna, on top of her, her body arching, her soft lips parted. Jackie imagined her own body, Jeff’s body, surging forward, pressing into that warmth.
A low moan escaped her lips, surprising her. The anger was still there, an undercurrent, but it was now intertwined with this raw urge. She closed her eyes again, the locker room fading, replaced by the intimate darkness of her imagination. She was Jeff. She was powerful. She was taking Shauna.
She began to move slowly, a rhythmic sway of her hips against the pillow, mimicking the motions she imagined Jeff would make. Her breath grew shallow, ragged. She felt the friction of the soft pillow against her jeans, and in her mind, it was Shauna’s body, warm and willing. She imagined Shauna’s fingers digging into her back, her nails leaving faint marks. Shauna’s breath hot against her ear, whispering his- no, her-name.
Her heart pounded, furious against her ribs. The fantasy intensified, becoming almost real. She felt the phantom weight of Shauna’s legs wrapping around her waist, the soft brush of her hair against her cheek. She imagined the way Shauna’s body would tense, then release, under her touch. The small, breathless praises that would escape her lips.
Jackie pressed harder against the pillow, her hips thrusting, a desperate, almost violent need surging through her. The betrayal fueled the fire, transforming the pain into a perverse kind of pleasure. She wanted to possess Shauna, to claim her in the way Jeff had. To make her moan, to make her cry out.
Her movements grew more frantic, more urgent. The pillow felt inadequate, yet it was all she had. Her mind raced, conjuring every detail of Shauna’s body. She imagined the taste of Shauna’s skin, the scent of her arousal. She imagined Shauna’s brown eyes, usually so composed, now clouded with arousal, staring down at her, begging for more.
A quiver ran through Jackie’s body, a build up of raw, unspent energy. Her muscles tensed, an ache spreading through her core. She imagined Shauna’s climax, a shuddering release beneath her, and in her own body, a mirroring wave of heat, a frantic, desperate longing.
With a final, desperate thrust against the pillow, a choked gasp tore from Jackie’s throat. Her body convulsed, a wave of intense pleasure washing over her, leaving her breathless and shaking. She collapsed onto the bench, the pillow still clutched to her, her heart still hammering.
The locker room was silent once more, besides the ragged sound of her own breathing. The fluorescent lights hummed overhead, casting a cold glow. Jackie lay there, spent, the phantom sensations slowly fading, replaced by a lingering shame and an even deeper, more complex cocktail of emotions. The betrayal was still there, a bitter taste, but now it was laced with a thrilling excitement she couldn't deny. Shauna. She had to confront Shauna. But first, she had to understand this new, unsettling desire that had been born.