Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“This summer sucks.”

Jaebum is leaning on the counter, obviously talking to nobody in the empty convenience store.

His behind hurts from sitting for hours, so now he’s holding his weight on his elbows instead, feet lazily gliding over the smooth surface of the floor. He sighs at how smooth it is because even though he already thoroughly cleaned it about two times since the start of his shift, he was considering cleaning it the third from how bored he was.

The heat wasn't really helping his mood either, the skin of his forearms sticking to the tabletop and sweat rolling down his nape, collecting in the back of his shirt. The AC definitely makes it bearable, but it’s still incredibly annoying to deal with. He readjusts his uniform apron, hoping the action will let some air through, though it shows as useless so he just awkwardly starts playing with the name tag that is pinned to it. Jaebum then redirects his focus to the clock hanging on the nearest wall, checking the time, and is relieved when he sees that night will fall soon and with it the temperature will lower. A mere degree or two, but nevertheless meaningful to the currently-sweating-a-lot Im Jaebum. 

Realizing the actual hour, he is surprised at the lack of customers during the time he spent here. Yeah, it is, like, mid July and it is the vacation season, but there should be neighboring people stopping by for ...ice cream at least. He figures his coworker got the most of them during the morning shift and he’ll probably ask him about it the next day – if he catches him. He rarely meets him as the kid is always running off to cram school, the same reason Jaebum is stuck with the afternoon shift this whole summer. He doesn’t mind though, since it’s not like he has much to do anyway: his parents at the countryside to help out his grandparents with the renovation of their house, he decided to stay behind and earn some money, and, well, also to take care of their pet cat. Those were the only duties he had (excluding the nags from his mother to take care of himself and eat well), and only two duties meant a lot of free time to use up in many different ways, however, Jaebum was feeling rather ...uninspired for the past few months. So, the only thing he was looking forward to this season was the daily 3 on 3 he played with these kids from his school after work, but… even that got ruined recently.

“THIS SUMMER SUCKS,” Jaebum now growls in the back of his head recalling how he sent off his best friend Mark to the airport the other day. The guy, other than being a really good friend, is also his teammate and an insane baller, as he uses some tricks he’s learned in the States.
His other teammate, Jackson, has some nice skills too, but for all that he just can’t dunk the way Mark can – every time Jaebum saw Mark hanging off the rim it felt like the guy was in slow motion, backboard shaking accompanied by the creaking of the metal hoop; the image mostly leaves Jaebum in awe.

Thus, waving his best player goodbye as he leaves for America to visit his family made Jaebum’s blood simmer quietly. Not only that, the guy was probably going to apply for some scholarships there and Jaebum tries really hard not to think about it, determined to avoid the subject forever – if time allows him to. Unlike Mark who is now finishing his fourth, Jaebum is in his third year of high school and this is probably the last carefree summer he will ever get. He sighs again at the way he is wasting it, though he can’t really help it in any way.

Jaebum’s chaotic train of thought is interrupted by the buzz of his phone. He looks around to see if he can check it undetected and finds himself awfully stupid for doing it. He then just flips the phone out, scrolling through the notification bar and sees Jackson’s name. Uneasy, he opens the message:

hey, jinyoung messaged me back


It took Jaebum a moment to decode what Jackson is talking about. He replies a disinterested, oh?


yeah, he wants to come over today. can i bring him along to the cage? 

Jaebum ignores the immense amount of emojis thrown around in the message.


sure, whatever, he clicks the send button.


okay great!!

More emojis.

Jaebum drops his phone at the counter ready to dismiss all of the following buzzing, Jackson probably asking way too many question about way too many things. He’s just going to reply later.

His thoughts already scatter again:


Jinyoung. That’s funny. His boss’ name is also Park Jinyoung, and he’s this guy in his forties super obsessed with organic food and suspiciously fit for a man of his age. Jaebum respects the senior a lot, but the way he threatens Jaebum’s health every time he is snacking away during his short break makes his eyes roll all the way into the storage room located behind him.
Jaebum wonders if this Park Jinyoung will annoy him the same amount. Considering Jaebum’s past experiences with people, it is very likely.

Jaebum spins the keys hooked around his index finger as his other hand waves at his boss, Park Jinyoung the senior, who is loading some boxes of green tea on his bicycle. The man nods and the boy just shakes his head smirking as he walks away from the entrance of the store he just closed and locked.

The yellow lights and damp air following him as he walks remind him of this dream he had this morning, but he just shrugs it off, instead imagining the boys already shooting hoops and playing around. It was the four of them: Yugyeom, the youngest and tallest and equally annoying and smug; Bambam, Yugyeom’s classmate and best friend and also a tall guy although real skinny so Jaebum usually knocks him out of his way real easy; Youngjae on the other hand is about the same height as Jaebum, kinda quiet except for when he laughs real hard at his jokes and remarks; and Jackson the classmate who is also younger than Jaebum but just a few months – still, Jackson probably respects him way more than any of the goddamn kids that are on the opposing team. In any way, being the oldest let Jaebum get away with a lot of bossing around which he, of course, loved the most.

He caught himself looking forward to finally playing again tonight, as Jackson found them a teammate. Jaebum really loved the kids and all, but lately he wasn’t enjoying participating in their conversations and was rather missing the way they used to shut up and just play. Luckily, the hangouts lasted a few days only, Jackson finding a replacement pretty quick. He didn’t tell Jaebum much about the boy, just that he goes to this other school as he lives in the neighborhood across the highway over-pass and that he used to play soccer. The reason why he took an interest in basketball, Jaebum did not know and neither was interested in knowing. He just really wanted to play ball, whatever condition.

The Cage was just a ten minutes walk away from the store, and from his home a mere five minutes, so he could see both his building and the court walking down long stairs, the concrete warm under his soles. He runs his hand through his caramel, dyed blond hair enjoying the view of buildings and night lights, closed shops and parks packed in between them. Coming off the last step, he can already discern the wire fence rectangling the basketball court, the nickname Cage originating from it. Walking faster and getting closer, he can now see three figures apparently fighting for the ownership of the ball, dribbling loudly. Tracing his fingers along the wire he sees it is indeed Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom, more pushing at each other than playing. He reaches the door and opens it chuckling at the way the boys are trying to get a hold of themselves in his presence. Instead of giving them much attention, he looks around.

“Where’s Jackson?”


“Ah, he hasn't arrived yet,” although he is only two and not three years younger like Yugyeom and Bambam are, Youngjae is the kindest to respond.


Jaebum raises an eyebrow, though pouts disinterested as he casually grabs the ball away from Bambam to shoot a hoop and he feels content when it flawlessly goes through the steel rim. The kids around him clap and cheer and Jaebum pretends it doesn’t feed his ego. He then detects a fourth clap and it is travelling to him far from behind his back, so he turns around to see the source and it is Jackson, estatically entering through the door on the opposite side of the Cage.
A boy at his side. Not clapping.
Jaebum already feels annoyed.

“That’s our boy Jaebum!” Jackson is loud as he walks and it echoes through the empty but heated air.

Jaebum ignores him and examines the boy beside him, walking the same pace only a step behind. The first thing he notices on him were these big ears sticking from his black messy hair and Jaebum had to swallow down a laugh over them. He then checks out his strong calves and guesses soccer just does that to you. He was dressed casually: a t-shirt, some knee length shorts and converse sneakers; same as Jaebum.

Well, at least he is tall, he thinks to himself.

They are now standing right in front of the five of them, and Jaebum really wants to ask What is...this? out loud real bad, but instead says a simple “Hey.” He then throws in a smirk to nevertheless stir things up.

The smirk drops when he sees how unamused the boy across from him looks as he says “Hi. Park Jinyoung,” waving a hand and barely glancing at him. Alright, he didn’t expect the guy to drop at his knees in awe of his shot just now but the least he could do was look him in the eyes. Jaebum was probably about to blurt out something inappropriate and dumb when he, thankfully, got interrupted by Jackson.

“He’s gonna play with us tonight. He’s a bit inexperienced, but let’s all do our best, alright?”

He ruffled Jinyoung’s hair and the boy just gave him a sour look. Jaebum, for some reason, feels ticked off already – his tongue moving, pushing his jaw to the side. Jinyoung finally takes a notice of him at that moment, however Jaebum turns away before giving him a chance at any reaction.

He lifts the ball off the asphalt, speaking loud and clear as he faces them all again.

“Okay. Let's do this then.”

Jaebum notices Jinyoung’s eyes narrow in the background.

He dribbles the ball once. He throws it at Jackson. Jackson catches it and smiles real wide.

Jinyoung barely managed to follow the game. Yeah, Jaebum didn't expect him to shoot perfect or at all , but he badly wishes Jinyoung was at least able to pass the ball properly. He knew it was new to the guy, still, this was pretty sloppy for someone who is likely used to teamwork and sports.

Jaebum then wonders what Jinyoung looks like on a soccer field.

His shoulder slams into Yugyeom’s as he jumps trying to defend and, even so, Bambam scores, the ball gently hitting the backboard and falling into the basket, net rustling. Jaebum glares at Jinyoung as soon as his feet reach the floor and Jinyoung just responds by giving him a What the fuck? look. Jackson notices the inexplicable tension so he laughs audibly, desperate. The guy also throws in a cheerful comment but Jaebum doesn’t really hear it as he flaps the hem of his shirt, trying to cool himself.

Jaebum eyerolls at yet another air ball Jinyoung accomplished and grunts when he thinks about the score. Now his grand irritation transparent, the boys start cheering.

“Come on, hyung!”

Jaebum doesn’t get why the kids are cheering for the opposite team and considers hitting them all in the face, one by one. He throws them a look as a warning, but then there’s Jackson draping an arm over his shoulder and Jaebum isn't sure if Jackson is trying to whisper to him or it’s just his usual hoarse voice acting.

“Hyung, it’s just a game... Try and have fun.”


Jaebum wishes it was just a game to him, but his mind doesn’t work as simple as that.

It gets foggy during moments like these. His mind does but not his body, the limbs move on their own, guiding him to wherever he is aimed to. Jaebum is never sure what is in control, him, or something that is supposed to be him but actually ...isn’t. He only knows that whenever he wishes for something, he will get it no matter the cost – whatever happens in between is usually in a daze, and he deals with it later.

He hums and simply walks out of Jackson’s hold, stealing a glance at the source of his frustration and the boy is already gazing at him, eyebrows furrowed as his hands are busy with closing a water bottle he probably just took a sip from. Jaebum feels his throat tightening as he looks away from Jinyoung, and he motions the kids to continue the game.

He was about to steal the ball from Bambam, however, the kid headfakes and Jaebum curses under his breath as he turns around to see where the ball went. He thanks god when he sees Jinyoung catching the ball instead of Youngjae, and then curses again as Jinyoung shoots instead of passing to either Jackson or Jaebum himself.

It’s a brick and all it took Yugyeom was a gentle push for it to enter the rim and score. Jaebum groans as he tugs on his own hair walking away, trying really hard not to say something too mean; at this point he’s getting a headache from how annoyed he is.

He turns back around to see the kids uncomfortable, although still celebrating. Behind them was Jinyoung getting a hand at the ball bouncing steadily on the ground and Jackson consoling him, a few taps on his back.

But no, Jaebum will not accept this – being unskilled is one but being stupid is a whole other thing. His legs move on their own as his eyes focus on Jinyoung and in a few steps he is standing right in front of him, gently moving Jackson out of the way, though not so kind.

Jinyoung seems unsurprised when Jaebum starts, and loud.


“You ever heard of passing?”

The boy drops open his mouth, his reply seeming ready, though Jaebum doesn’t give him the chance to speak.

“The ball? Y’kno?”

Jinyoung grinds his teeth now, however, Jaebum is still going on.

“I mean, I don’t expect you to know how to play, boy, but the least you could do when you stand there lost as a lamb is let me or Jackson handle it.”

Whatever response Jinyoung had planned seemed to have gotten dropped, as he just let go of the ball, face now blank, body moving to walk out of the Cage.

“Alright, hyung. Then you don’t need me on the team.”

The boy is already a few steps away when Jackson catches up and grabs him by the wrist, mumbling something in his ear. Jaebum watches Jinyoung and the boy is looking right back at him over Jackson’s shoulder where the guy is still leaned down, so near his neck.

Out of nowhere, he feels a presence next to himself and it’s Youngjae, silent and probably trying to show some support despite not knowing what to say. Yugyeom and Bambam on the other hand are amused, discussing, although silently and from a distance so Jaebum can’t really hear it.

Now it’s Jaebum’s turn, Jackson leaving Jinyoung’s space to invade his, lightly pushing at his chest and forcing him to walk slowly backwards, leaving the crowd.

“JB, please.”


Him and Jinyoung are still exchanging stares, eyes tense and mouths barely moving.

“Hyung,” Jackson finally makes him look away.


“Me and the kids know you, we know you don’t really mean it but,” his friend glances back at Jinyoung, “he doesn’t. He, uh, he gets hurt easily so try and back off a bit, okay?”

Jaebum crosses his arms at Jackson’s suggestion, if not order.

“Come on, you know Mark didn’t like you acting like this either.”

He feels his eyes widen yet quickly close in a sigh.


“Fine,” he groans, undoing his arms and walking past Jackson to rejoin the group.

As he gets closer, Jinyoung keeps his distance by taking a step back, his right hand holding his left elbow, resting on his stomach. Jaebum wants to say something, but when he looks the boy in his eyes something shifts in his abdomen, so he goes to grab the ball instead.

“He promised to be nice,” he hears Jackson say to Jinyoung, this time very loud and clear, and Jaebum shakes his head with a scoff as he starts dribbling the ball.

Another day at the convenience store and Jaebum passes the time by thinking about last night’s events: he kept his mouth shut in the end, even as they lost the game, though that doesn’t mean he didn’t pass a few curses at the gloating Yugyeom who was dancing around him the whole way home. At a corner, they all waved goodbye to Jinyoung and Jackson who was going to walk the boy to the bus stop, and Jaebum stood there, hands in his pockets, looking quite disinterested. Disinterest is what he at least wanted to feel, so he did his best to show it.

Jaebum suddenly misses Mark now. He grabs his phone and opens the last text message he received from him, the one where he let him know he boarded the plane. Jaebum wonders if Mark is happy right now, finally reunited with his long-distance girlfriend, probably taking her out on a date. Then he calculates the time difference and realizes Mark is actually asleep by now and decides to try and video call him tonight when he gets home after some basketball.

When he arrives at the court, everyone is already present.

Jaebum usually arrives last, as he has to close the store, and the boys play a few games by themselves or chat until he gets there. Sometimes his boss gives him additional chores so he stays late and doesn’t even catch them at the court. Still, the hangout is casual and on his way home anyway, so not meeting up isn’t really a problem.

This time he’s caught them, and he wipes his mouth, drying it from the water he just had a taste of from the nearby drinking fountain before shouting out a greeting.

The boys wave at him in response. Of course, all of them except for Jinyoung who is just watching him from afar from where he’s sitting on the bench, the one that’s lined along the inner side of the wire fence. Jaebum ignores the stare, slamming the door open as he makes an overly dramatic entrance and he can hear the sound of metal shaking mixed with the boys’ hysteric laughter. He glances over back to Jinyoung, checking if he laughed too, and he sees this curl his lips formed but can’t decide whether it is a smile or not. He wasn’t even supposed to look; Jaebum liked the stoic of his humour, always waiting for the punchline – he doesn’t giggle before the joke is over and he doesn’t look for reaction. This time, however, was an exception.

Even though he doesn’t know why.

Jinyoung did much better tonight, only slightly getting on Jaebum’s nerves, and Jaebum kept his promise of being nice. He said nothing when Jinyoung fake passed to him and instead threw it to Jackson (who in the end just threw an in-n-out), he said nothing at the turnovers, at the stolen balls. He only cutely smirked at Jackson, showing him what a nice guy he was, but still subtly glared in Jinyoung’s direction.

Just as Jaebum was trying really hard not to think about the score difference, Yugyeom groaned in the background exclaiming he’s thirsty. Jaebum, tired, goes to sit down on the bench while the kiddos decide on a break, proposing they take a trip to the nearby store and get some soft drinks before it closes.

“Wanna come, hyung?” Jaebum recognizes the soft voice as he stretches out his legs, still sitting.

“Nah, Youngjae, I’ll stay behind. I stood all day,” he laughs, indicating he needs some rest.

Youngjae laughs along. “Okay, hyung, want me to get something for you?”

Jaebum thinks about it for a second before making a decision. “Yeah, get me some Sprite if they have any.”

Youngjae nods, smiling, and Jaebum can’t help but smile back at the kind boy.

Even though he is only eighteen, Jaebum feels like a fatherly figure to the neighboring fifteen-year-olds, almost sixteen-year-olds he spent time with in the Cage. They all even started hanging out at school, the kids waving to him and Jackson from various classrooms, calling them over to chat. Jackson goes to Jaebum’s class, so he was the closest with him. They frequently sat together and Jaebum felt they started becoming really good friends. However, he avoided him tonight, because the guy was always standing with Jinyoung, no matter where they were. Jaebum didn’t feel like getting close to that.

“So Junior, you want something?” he hears Jackson’s voice, and suddenly realizes Jinyoung is standing right next to his straightened legs.

“No, no, I’m fine,” Jinyoung says with a sweetest tone in his voice and the feedback makes Jackson nod and turn around, leaving the Cage along with the kids.

Jaebum eyerolls as Jinyoung joins him on the bench, but then realizes something else his ear picked up earlier and decides to asks about it in his best mocking voice.

“Junior? ”

He is surprised when he sees Jinyoung squirming in his seat, blushing a little, and just giving him a simple answer.


“It’s just a nickname.”


The boy was looking straight ahead, away from him, and Jaebum got sick of it so he too looked away.

They sat there for a while, silent. Jaebum regrets not going to the store and also doesn’t get why Jinyoung chose to stay behind when he clearly saw Jaebum sitting alone on the bench. He bends his knees back, feet dragging over the dirt on the floor while Jinyoung starts gently rocking his right leg, seeming to contemplate something.

Maybe the silence wasn’t that long, maybe the awkwardness just made it seem as such; whatever the case, Jinyoung just broke it by standing up and heading towards the ball that was still lying in the zone. He walks slowly, picks it up and calculates the distance before shooting a hoop. The ball hits the rim gently, but bounces right back, and Jinyoung lets out a barely audible sigh before it hits the ground again.


Jaebum laughs very audibly.

“You need practice.”

Jinyoung glares at his smirk, realizing Jaebum’s jerk mode is back on when he stands up to get closer and watch. The boy won’t let it get to him though, he just throws the ball again and this time it hits the backboard but thankfully falls through the metal hoop right away.

“Lucky,” Jaebum teases and Jinyoung now breaks.

“You know you’re a jerk, right?”

He said it grinning yet Jaebum felt as if the boy could bite him any moment now.

“Sure,” he confirms as he grabs the ball and passes it to Jinyoung, letting him shoot some more.

The boy sneers and dribbles before making a shot, even jumping a bit as he does it.

“I can’t imagine you ever having a girlfriend,” he says. The ball bounces off the backboard into Jaebum’s hands.

Jaebum feels unusually flustered, but doesn’t show it. “I had a girlfriend,” he defends, passing the ball again.

“Oh, really?” Jinyoung says with a scorn. He shoots.

“Yeah,” Jaebum catches the ball. “Girlfriends. Multiple even.” He passes it again.

Jinyoung watches his throw hit the net instead of falling through the rim.

“But I bet you never had a girlfriend,” Jaebum keeps going.

Jinyoung catches an another pass from Jaebum as he replies.

“I did. ”

Jaebum cocks a suspicious eyebrow, watching Jinyoung throw the ball.

It rolled over the rim now, falling down next to it instead of through it and ended up in Jaebum’s arms. He throws it back to the boy and notices this look on his face and is unsure what it means. The boy then smirks.

“I even had a boyfriend.”

He shoots and finally gets a clean score, the ball flawlessly going through the rim, barely touching the net. It hits the ground loud, and the noise echoes as it bounces. Jaebum feels his eyes widen and jaw dropping and he doesn't even try to hide it.

“No way,” he finally says and also figures he probably should've thought of something else to say, though the guilt is gone when he sees Jinyoung’s smug smile.

Then something else comes to mind.

"Wait… so you and …Jackson…?”

Jinyoung seems briefly shocked at the question, though it only lasts a short second before the boy opens his mouth, grinning.

“I don’t kiss and tell.”

Jaebum feels his muscles stiffen, not knowing how to react. Jinyoung suddenly seemed uncomfortable out of nowhere, but before Jaebum could say anything, the sound of metal rasping interrupts the moment. He turns around and sees the kids shouting and waving around with full plastic bags.

“We got some snacks too!”

Jaebum feels good today.

He had some regular customers at the start of his shift, and having a chat with them kinda improved his mood from doing alright to doing great. There was this old couple he sees every other day and he helps them load their stuff onto their carts every time. They’re the sweetest people Jaebum knows, and he always works cheerfully around them. The only thing he had to deal with is the fact that they keep offering to set up a date with their granddaughter for him and Jaebum never knows how to politely refuse, feeling utterly embarrassed.

Speaking of embarrassing, the other night suddenly replays in Jaebum’s head:

After his conversation with Jinyoung, he avoidantly stepped away to fight for his bag of chips with Jackson, ultimately and quickly winning. He took the bag and his can of Sprite to sit at the corner of the bench, hiding from Jinyoung behind the kids and silently drank and ate, watching them but keeping his gaze down. The guys are used to Jaebum getting quiet like this, so they didn’t ask any questions. He just had to avoid looking Jinyoung in the eyes.

Jaebum just couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that Jinyoung kisses boys.

The next few days felt equally uncomfortable, coming from both parties.

However, what was unexpected was the way that the awkward tension actually helped – Jaebum had to keep his distance, which resulted in him not trying to get at Jinyoung at all times. Thus, soon enough the air calmed down and the two of them were now able to hold an actual conversation, much to the group’s surprise, though no one spoke about it.

They talked about the weather, they talked about Jaebum’s job, about Jinyoung’s school; regular things. Going from completely ignoring each other to looking at one another when speaking felt weird at first, it still does, they just ...got used to it as days passed by.

Though, all of this didn’t mean Jaebum had no complaints about Jinyoung’s game.

Jaebum ignores the groans and headshakes coming from behind him as he yells at Jinyoung; them stepping away at the side, close to the wire fence. Jinyoung is defending himself intensely, but Jaebum is still not convinced in whatever the boy across from him is saying.

Additionally, it was sort of …hard to concentrate. Now this close and probably more relaxed so he was able to notice these things, Jaebum saw that Jinyoung had …interesting lips. Not ones you usually see on a guy. Not ones you usually see on a girl either.

They just… looked too good.

He snaps back when Jinyoung swings a hand between them, obviously gesturing to the place he claimed Jaebum was standing when they slammed into one another and Jaebum started voicing his dissatisfaction. Jaebum wasn’t sure what his point was mentioning that, so he just repeats what he said the last time, only wording it differently.

Despite the tension, Jinyoung seemed amused, letting Jaebum finish his sentences, ready to figure out a new response to every of his nonsensical views. Jaebum never felt they were wrong let alone nonsensical, so he also never stopped forcing them, waiting for Jinyoung to comply. Thing is, Jinyoung waited for Jaebum to comply to him, it being a never-ending process that everyone present was forced to watch.

Actually, the crowd got so bored of watching that they started to comment freely.

“Look at them, fighting like husband and wife.” It’s Yugyeom’s voice. He’s laughing.

“You mean husband and husband ?” Bambam laughs with him too.

Jaebum glances over only to see Jackson’s eyeroll. The guy always looks tense whenever Jaebum and Jinyoung get like this though at the same time, for some unknown reason, he keeps himself out of it. Jaebum wonders if he should ask him about it as he blindly grabs at the fence next to him, liking the feeling of cool metal under his fingers. When he looks back at Jinyoung the boy has a weird expression on his face as he speaks but, as always, Jaebum can’t read it.

“Maybe we should switch,” he hears Youngjae’s worried voice now, “if Jinyoung’s on our team maybe they will fight less.” It is a whisper aimed for Jackson, yet Jaebum nevertheless picked it up and decided to respond, right in the middle of Jinyoung talking:

“I am NOT going to give you my husband,” he barks as he turns to them, and even though the last part of the sentence was supposed to be harsh ridicule, the word came unexpectedly soft out of his mouth. Loud laughter spreads across the group; Jaebum even hears Jackson’s trademark shriek of a laugh. He didn’t expect such a grand reaction so he stared at the boys for a moment while they held their stomachs or hit the nearest person standing on the shoulder, still laughing hard. He sighs at the scene and turns his head back to face the front of him but there finds a much more confusing thing instead – the look on Jinyoung’s face. The boy seemed to be blushing, standing flustered and at a lack of words. He looked at Jaebum with wide eyes and tugged at the material of his shorts where his arm was casually holding onto.

Jaebum’s hands shake nervously and his tongue suddenly feels dry so he tries swallowing, desperate to get some spit on it. It works, so then he throws an arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders, pulling him along as he walks back towards the crowd of four boys.

“A-anyway, let’s play already”, he says, ignoring the way his skin burns where it can feel Jinyoung’s shirt and the heat underneath it; the sensation disappearing when he drops the arm down.

Neither of them look at each other. Eventually, the kids stop laughing and one of them gets the ball.

Jaebum wonders if he’ll miss the boys tonight as he locks the store down.

He takes a step back to check if all of the lights are off, and they of course are; Jaebum just has a bad habit of checking everything not twice, but at least five times. It meant that he is great with responsibility, but also always stressed over it. The first aftermath is nice, the second ...not so nice.

Jaebum actually felt like going straight home and passing out on his bed – he had a long day, closing at 11pm after his boss asked him to clean out the storage room. His back ached from lifting heavy boxes all evening, and he still felt as if he was choking from all the dust even now, outside the store. Despite it, he decides to check the court. It’s on his way home anyway.

 

His lungs feel heavy as he drops his legs one by one down the stairs.

The yellow lights don’t feel so welcoming now. Jaebum suddenly isn’t sure if they ever did.

 
He squints at the Cage searching for movement but sees none.

Of course, they’re gone by now, he thinks to himself as he gets closer, realizing he feels kind of disappointed he missed them.

He makes plans to text them in their group chat when he gets home.

A bit chilly tonight, Jaebum is glad he brought his hoodie along to work. He feels comfortable having his hands fisted inside the pockets as he walks around.

He almost passes the Cage like that when he notices something in the corner of his eye.

Did they leave something behind, he wonders; it wasn’t unusual for the kids to forget a bag or a water bottle, letting it sit alone on the bench. Getting a few steps closer, he realizes something is sitting on the bench, but it isn’t a thing – it’s a person.

“Jinyoung...ah?”

The person doesn’t move, staring at the phone screen in their hand. Jaebum walks through the door and is now certain that the person staring at their phone indeed is Jinyoung.

“Jinyoungah?”

It’s just that he doesn’t hear him.

Jaebum walks straight up to Jinyoung, stopping in front of the boy’s legs, and looms over as he repeats himself.

“Jinyoungie?”

The boy jumps at the sight of Jaebum’s sneakers underneath his phone, and jumps yet again at proximity of their faces.

“Hyung!” he yelps, removing an earbud.

Jaebum is still looming, his back bent but it surprisingly doesn’t hurt at the moment.

“What is my husband doing here?” he smiles. Jinyoung shyly laughs.

It kind of became an inside joke – ever since Jaebum called Jinyoung his husband in a sad attempt to get back at the kiddos’ remarks, the same kiddos decided not to let him forget it ever again. He figured he should better join them than fight them by using the nickname all the same, all the time, though... truthfully… it sort of grew on him during the past two days.

“I just,” the boy starts elaborating, “I just thought I should be here, if you were to stop by.”

Jaebum straightens himself, giving Jinyoung a flushed look.

Jinyoung looks away. “I-I don’t have a bus for another 20 minutes anyway.”

Jaebum feels like smirking. “Why did the boys leave you behind?”

“I told them to go ahead without me.”

“Oh.”

“They were tired and cold.”

“I see.”

Jaebum was about to ask if Jinyoung was cold too before he realized that the boy was wearing a hoodie too, a dark blue zip-up one, though he wasn’t sure why it was a zip-up since it was zipped all the way to the throat and he could’ve just worn a regular hoodie.

Then, he notices the hanging earbud.

“Whatcha listening to?”

“Some ...Chris Brown,” Jinyoung stutters as Jaebum already grabs the free earbud and seats himself next to Jinyoung, giving it a listen.

“Ah, it’s ‘Beg For It’?” he grins, recognizing the lyrics.

“Yeah, I dunno,” the boy is anxiously scrolling through his phone, “I was just looking for something to play.” Jaebum watches him go through the playlist, peeking at it.

“Play this,” he leans in at one point, their shoulders brushing, and taps a finger onto this quite familiar song title visible on the touchscreen of Jinyoung’s phone.

“‘Take You Down?’”, Jaebum suddenly feels Jinyoung’s breath on his cheek and decides it’s too much so he pulls away, also removing the earbud out of his ear along the way. It’s sort of shaky.

“Yeah, give it a listen,” he says as he hands it back to him; the boy accepts it and gives Jaebum a muddled look before putting it back into his own ear.

Jaebum slides aside to lean his body onto the fence, enjoying the cold distance he just created between them. He splays his legs, careful not to touch Jinyoung’s, and plays with the strings of his hoodie, tugging on them as he feels the thin wire pressing against his spine.

He doesn’t feel as troubled anymore, so he decides to wait for Jinyoung to finish listening to the song like this. Right then does he sense something hitting his heel and first he is afraid it’s Jinyoung nudging him but the boy is still, focused on his phone. He looks down over his knees to identify the kick and notices a basketball near his feet – it probably rolled over from under the bench where Jackson usually leaves it. Jaebum lazily pushes it around with his leg as he glances over to check whether the song is ending soon.

Wait, was he always this impatient?

“I didn’t think you’d like this kinda stuff,” Jinyoung suddenly chuckles and Jaebum eyes at his hands, handling the phone to apparently lower the volume of the song. His fingers were long and made Jaebum want to examine them.

Jaebum interrupts his own stare to be somewhat taken aback by the boy’s assumption.

“What did you expect me to listen to?”

Jinyoung too looks confused, not expecting the question.

“Honestly...? I don’t know," he laughs.

Jaebum smirks as he kicks the ball, letting it bounce and roll off in an unknown direction and pushes a hand inside his hoodie pocket to get an item from it.


“Listen to this,” he goes as he lets himself freely yank the cable jack out of Jinyoung’s phone to plug it into his own. Jinyoung might’ve said something about the action, only Jaebum ignores it as he leans his elbows onto his knees, quickly going through his music library until he finds the song. He was about to play it, however something enters his line of sight – it’s Jinyoung’s hand, and a earbud inside of it. Jaebum registers that the boy is offering it to him and his mind says a loud no but his body is already pushing it into his ear and pressing the play button.


A minute or a two in of listening the song together, Jinyoung asks: “Who is this?”


He sounds so close.


The phone in one hand and his chin in the other, Jaebum feels his chest hurt when Jinyoung leans his head onto his shoulder blade. He gives up support of his one arm to get a hand on Jinyoung’s knee, wanting to push away, yet... he doesn’t do it.

Glancing over he sees Jinyoung looking at him, now nervously, and again it’s kind of too close but this time Jaebum just taps his knee twice, somewhat strained.

“Frank Ocean. The song is ‘Dust’.”

He also quickly but gently rubs it.

“I’ve been listening to him lately.”

Jinyoung shifts slightly closer to brace himself upon his shoulder better.

“It’s nice.”


Jaebum feels ...embarrassed, so he starts talking, hoping it’ll clear his head.

“Though, I started listening to Chris Brown when these hyungs gave me their CDs."

“Hyungs?” Jinyoung asks and when Jaebum glances at him again the boy’s eyes are focused on Jaebum’s eye moles. He is used to people looking at them, but Jinyoung was staring. Openly. Jaebum clears his throat before speaking again.

“Yeah, this b-boy crew, they used to hang out in this neighborhood.” He feels … nostalgic?

“I was a kid compared to them, so now they are all adults. Those that pursued dance moved away. Others are working full time, having families ...or whatever. I don’t really know.”

Is he talking too much?

“Anyway, I guess they taught me what they could the time we spent together.”

There is a relief of heat on his back when Jinyoung straightens himself to pose a question.

“Wait, does that mean you can b-boy?”

His eyes wide, the boy seemed not to believe it which of course annoyed Jaebum, resulting in him wanting to snap at Jinyoung, but the desire passed quickly when he realized how interested the boy actually looked.

“Wanna see?” he grins, half-joking.

Jinyoung nods, starting slow but ending ecstatic, and Jaebum is standing up, surprised.

“Wait”, he laughs, “I haven’t done this in a long time,” and walks over the court.

When he arrives at the center, he feels his legs move on their own and even though he isn’t sure if it’s the right way, he trusts them. Following the beat in his head, his left hand goes down, the momentum moving his one leg to push the other into the air, and his hips swing as now both of the legs fly stretched into the front, his right hand landing onto the ground – he manages a rotation or two, but as soon as he thinks he’s got a hang of it he loses balance completely and roughly falls down on his back, elbows scraping down the black asphalt underneath him.

There is a weird sound in the background and Jaebum realizes it is Jinyoung’s loud laugh, he just hasn’t heard it before.

“Are you alright?”


The boy is still laughing, though Jaebum hears footsteps too.

He pathetically laughs along.

“I should’ve stretched first.”

From where he is still lying on the ground, he now sees Jinyoung towering over him. The boy is grinning as he asks another question.

“Was that a flare ?”

“Yeah, how did you know?” Jaebum is curious.

The grin turned into a smirk. “I learned a thing or two when I was in the States. About two years ago.”

“Ah, wow,” Jaebum acts impressed, still laid on the ground.

“Shut up,” Jinyoung laughs, playfully kicking Jaebum at his side.

He then offers a hand, however, Jaebum doesn’t even see it, focused on the night sky above him.

Jinyoung relaxes his arm, still looking down.

“Are you just going to stay down there?”

“Yeah," Jaebum feels comfortable. Also silly. “It’s warm,” he smiles.

“Let me join you then,” Jinyoung is seating himself next to the still lying down Jaebum.

He glances at Jinyoung, then at the watch on his wrist. “Your bus is arriving in two minutes.”

Jinyoung crosses his legs, arms falling over his lap as he looks up at the stars.

“I’ll wait for the next one.”

Jaebum feels bored as he dusts an infinite amount of shelves at the convenience store.
He also wishes he could play his own music instead of listening to odd radio hits playing on the not-really-working-but-still-can-play-audible-music speakers that are lined across the ceiling.
To pass the time, Jaebum started humming. When he noticed that the song he’s been humming for a while was actually the song he played for Jinyoung last night, he started reliving the event of walking him to the bus stop later that same night.

They walked casually, though at a kept distance. Jaebum only sometimes dusted off some dirt off of Jinyoung’s back and when he did it, Jinyoung’s features formed a smile but also moved themselves out of his vision. The filth was from when the boy laid down next to him after deciding to wait for the other bus – that bus was another thirty minutes away, and they spent most of that time lying on the ground, parallel to each other, silent.
It was pleasant, lying there on the asphalt warmed up by the non-stop daylight sun. They weren’t touching, however he felt Jinyoung playing with the material of the loose ripped sleeve of Jaebum’s hoodie. They weren’t looking at each other either, just staring at the starry sky above.
It was so pretty, stars shining amidst the dark. Still, for Jaebum, it soon enough became a little too much: the dark blue seemed too heavy, as if it was going to drop on him, hard, and the shiny white was so far up it felt as if it was going to disappear right away.

He ran a hand across his face and rubbed the eyes gently trying to get a hold of himself.

“You alright?”, he heard the now familiar voice. He knew the boy was looking at him.

“Yeah, just tired”, he said, not moving the hand from his eyes.

There was a slight tug on his sleeve and even though it was so little, Jaebum is sure he hadn’t imagined it. Nothing followed though.

Jaebum almost jumped when another Park Jinyoung intervened with his reminisce.

“Sorry for making you stay overtime last night”, his boss smiles nervously, a hand behind his head.

“No, no, hyung, it’s alright”, Jaebum started disagreeing by waving his hands, along the way waving the cloth he was using too, the action spreading dust between them. He stops it quickly as he detects this look in his boss’ eyes and goes to quickly finish his sentence too: “It’s my job.”

Park Jinyoung the senior also waves a hand now, smiling, though Jaebum isn’t sure if it’s also in disagreement or just to send off the fine particles.

“No, it was wrong of me to make you stay that long.” Seems to be the former. “So I’ll let you off early tonight,” the man nods.

Jaebum is overjoyed at the thought of playing more rounds with the boys today and maybe even having some extra sleep.

“Thank you so much, boss.”

Today is not bad, not bad at all, and maybe tomorrow will be even better.

He is at the court. Inside the Cage, more specifically.
He is standing, but it seems hard to do so.
It is happening near the center circle, not inside of it, though quite close.
The air is too damp, too hot, he can feel the cold sweat rolling down his back faster than usual and it is making him uneasy.

It always starts like this, yet every time he becomes aware of it it’s way too late to wake up.

The yellow lights are dense above his head and he sees it getting mixed with the fern green of the trees – actually, no, not mixed, it is layering, right over him. His legs grind right into the tough gray asphalt underneath him and he wishes it was only color but it was texture too, he felt every move around him and his knees bend but he does not fall yet, he is still held together by the wire fence, the Cage closing in on him, or at least he thinks he is.
His back drops backwards and he feels his guts move underneath the exterior as he hits the suddenly firm ground, his shirt sticking into it from sweat and dipping into every hole and crack and it won’t stop going down. He arches his back to relieve the stress but his feet just can’t, just won’t leave the gravel and he can hear the sound of his sneakers sliding against it rough and it makes him dizzy, ultimately ending in his head turning to an unknown direction as he can’t recognize anything around him, it being in a blur.

And then it comes.

His back presses onto the ground farther but it is no longer hot, nor notched – it is so light, so thin underneath him and it breaks, his body falling in.
It’s the coldest water, at least it feels like water, though it is more like heaven when Jaebum opens his eyes and only sees this beautiful shade of baby blue surrounding him. The only thing that is warm, and it feels just right – how warm it is, is this grip around his wrist and that’s where he realizes he was pulled inside. Inside of what? There are no edges to be seen, nothing but the blue that is slowly turning into murky gray as if someone is turning off the lights. The heat is disappearing along with the lights and he turns around to see who it is but before even seeing a silhouette, he wakes up in cold sweat.

It keeps happening.
Jaebum’s been having this same dream over and over again for two months now, almost all of summer. He doesn’t know where it came from, he doesn’t know where it’s going. All he knows is that every goddamn time he turns around there is no one to be seen. He either wakes up right away, or firstly sees the gray under him turn into a dark black; although that way he at least wakes up slow so he doesn’t feel like he’s dying as soon as he opens his eyes.

This is going to be a bad day.

Jaebum is definitely having the worst day at his job today.

Not only did he wake up late due to Youngjae forcing him to play this new MMORPG with him until 3:40am (and having the nightmare of nightmares), he also had to suffer an almost heatstroke as he ran to get to the convenience store on time and take over his shift from his coworker who in addition made sure to get as passive-aggressive as ever on the topic of Jaebum being behind schedule.

As if all that wasn’t enough, he now had to deal with these punks roaming around his store – punks being these older guys Jaebum knew from school. They went to Mark’s class and literally all of school was avoiding them, not wanting to get involved in any way possible. Thus, the only thing they were famous for was getting into fights with students from other local schools.

When he thinks about it, he recalls that one of those schools might have been the one Jinyoung goes to.

Were it up to Jaebum, he would already punch one of them if not all three of them and later brag about it to Mark. However, it isn’t. He had to keep the store and its reputation right, even at the cost of his own pride.

So that is what he did, he shut his mouth, carefully following the ... customers , making sure they don’t make a mess, as they always did, wherever they went.


Just as Jaebum started feeling thankful for the seniors not recognizing him, he saw them murmuring something to each other, and then the most annoying one stepped out to him.


Fuck, he groans internally.

“Don’t we know you?”

The we is ridiculous and Jaebum already had to bite on a laugh.

One of his companions steps out before Jaebum even thinks of a response.

“Yeah, hyung, he was the one that punched me last semester—”

“Don’t lie”, Jaebum breaks his whining off, “I only shoved you. I don’t go around punching people.”

He checks out the guy. “Especially if they are this shorter than me,” he smiles. Smugly.

He can’t help it. Jaebum is sure his sense of humour will get him killed one day.

Of course, they don’t find it as funny.

“You looking for trouble, huh?”

Oops. They seem mad.

These kind of things amuse Jaebum, so it’s alright. Although, this is probably not the time nor the place, so Jaebum tries to keep himself together.

“Nah, I’m just doing my job here,” he points at his nametag, “so just get whatever you need and let’s proceed to the checkout.”

 “Oh really ?” the guy now seems amused and Jaebum is the one getting angry instead.

The guy throws a hand down one of the shelves and knocks the articles down in one sweep. It was just snacks, bags of chips and such, so it wasn’t that much of a deal. However, Jaebum did not know how far this can go – after all, there were three of them and only one him, no matter how tall he is.

Was this doomed to go the wrong way since the beginning or did Jaebum fuck up, as he has a habit of doing?

After they violently sent down a few spinning racks, Jaebum was able to lead the gang, if it can be called as such, outside, because they were dumb enough to think they could do more damage to him out of the store while all Jaebum did was worry about the goods inside of it and not getting fired over them being damaged.

Standing cautious, he waits for the guys to reach him and already try to throw punches at him. He ducks easily – he is quite flexible and also used to getting into unnecessary fights so he knows how to avoid unnecessary hits too.
The gang gets annoyed at the way Jaebum is dodging and decide to finally group and grab him by his biceps, deciding which one will punch him in the stomach while the other two hold.
And just as Jaebum sighed in embarrassment over getting caught by three idiots there is a familiar sound behind him – it’s a bike bell, and Jaebum tries really hard not to laugh.

They ran and split off at the sight of Jaebum’s boss, the adult being incredibly built and even bigger than Jaebum. He yelled something at the kids, getting off his bike, while Jaebum was occupied with catching himself on the floor as the guys dropped him, going we know what class you are and we know where you work, we’ll just visit ya, threats spreading down the street as they go. Jaebum just laughs, lifting himself up, not believing what just happened.

“Are you alright?”

His boss seemed so worried standing next to him, while Jaebum doesn’t think he can put into words how funny this all was to him.

“These punks,” he now shakes with laughter.

He is so …tired.
After all the ruckus, Jaebum still had to stay and clean up after the idiots that messed up his workplace. Boss was pretty nice to him, feeling sorry for Jaebum having to deal with all of it, but nevertheless needing help with putting the store back into place.
It stopped being ridiculous and, now, Jaebum was only feeling angry.

Just plain, simple anger was what was plaguing him all the way to the court. He even thought of going straight to the apartment, his current frame of mind being a mess, but something just dragged him into the Cage. His own two feet, yes. As to why, he doesn’t know.

Sitting scattered and chatting, the boys were happy to see him walk through the door, however, his facial expression just shut them all down.

“Hyung, you OK?”

Yugyeom is getting close posing the question quietly and Jaebum just walks out of his reach.

“Yeah, I’m fine, why,” he is asking, but not waiting for an answer.

The basketball is already in his hands.

“Let’s play,” he violently passes the ball to Jackson and even though the boys seem uncomfortable, they probably assume Jaebum is just having one of his usual moody days and do their best to ignore it as they play.

Jinyoung started messing up again.

He just started getting better why the fuck is he doing this again, Jaebum’s head is filled with roars. Not understanding, he looks at Jinyoung, openly, and in response the boy quickly glances away.

“What the hell,” Jaebum murmurs, annoyed. He keeps staring at him until Jinyoung at last looks back at him, yet he instantly breaks the eye contact again. It looks like ...fear? Hell no, the boy was never afraid of Jaebum no matter how much they fought at this same court. He is just acting dumb for some reason.

Jaebum was able to clear himself out of Bambam’s way and it was the perfect moment for Jinyoung to pass to him. However, Jinyoung instead turns to Jackson on the opposite side of the court and makes it possible for Youngjae to snatch the ball away from him and the kid scores a bank shot.

Jaebum’s jaw hurts so he moves it to the side to ease the stress, his tongue licking at his lower row of teeth. Why won’t he pass to me, he thinks but doesn’t voice as he watches Jinyoung from the side. The boy doesn’t even glance at him now.

When Jinyoung disregarded him for yet another pass, resulting in Bambam and Yugyeom accomplishing an alley oop, Jaebum walks over the court, feeling his every step against the gravel. He is directed to Jinyoung, his eyes on him too.

Jinyoung’s eyes are firm on the ball.

Why won’t you look at me?

“Why are you such a fucking ballhog?” he yells at him and it feels familiar, almost homey.

Though something new is tinted too. He doesn't like the unknown feeling, so his hands go up as soon as Jinyoung gives him the honor of his gaze – Jaebum quickly shoves him, hard, making the boy take a few steps back to regain balance.

“What the fuck?” the younger’s feedback is thunderous as he steps forward to retrieve his space.

The kids are already intervening, talking over the two of them, especially Jackson who is already in Jaebum’s face but Jaebum doesn’t hear any of them, his sentient only seeing Jinyoung now; everything else feels blurry.

It is the same as his dreams. And he is drowning.

He almost walks through Jackson, making way for himself to push at Jinyoung’s shoulders again.

“You know what I mean.” Somewhere, deep down, Jaebum wasn’t sure himself what he meant.

“No, I don’t ,” Jinyoung pushes at him back, although very light. Not because he can’t manage better; it’s because he won’t give into it further and that pisses Jaebum even more.

What’s with this distance now?

“Yeah, you do,” he shoves him harder and perhaps it was even too hard as Jinyoung hit the ground then, sound of grating asphalt against his soles accompanied with a couple of thuds of his elbows catching him. It seemed painful.

Jinyoung snarls.

“You have fucking ANGER ISSUES,” he shouts as he bends his knees, berserkly even, aiming to get up back on his feet.

Jaebum is panting feverish as he watches Jinyounh get straightened with the help of Jackson and Youngjae. The boy rocks himself out of their hold as soon as he is standing.

“I don’t have to put up with this bullshit,” he gives Jaebum this glare that feels like a drop of cold water on him, liters and liters of it and Jaebum’s legs start giving out.

Despite it, he is silent as Jinyoung loudly and quickly leaves the Cage, banging the door behind him for no other reason than emotional. Jaebum’s eyes follow him and also see Jackson move to reach the boy, then suddenly turn back around fast to find Jaebum where he still hasn’t budged. Hands forming fists, he storms over and it makes Jaebum think the guy will punch him, however, there was no strike, Jackson just grabbed at his shoulder real tight and, with such painful honesty, growls “What is your problem?" and Jaebum knows that is the nice way of asking “What the hell is wrong with you?” because he has heard it a hundred times before.

Jaebum’s throat is dry, Jaebum’s mind is dry.

He needs to fix this.

“Wait, I’ll,” he barely swallows, “I’ll talk to him.”


Running out before Jackson even approved, he looks around as he walks, searching for Jinyoung’s figure and finally spots it at the drinking fountain some dozen meters away.

Jaebum walks slowly, not wanting to make the boy feel imperiled.
Or maybe from his stomach being so curled with guilt.

When he gets closer he sees Jinyoung inspecting this red, burning scrape on his forearm that went all the way down to the elbow.

“Fuck,” he blurts out, “I’m sorry.”

He is now standing a bare distance away from him on the other side of the fountain, opposite from where Jinyoung was leaning onto it.
The boy seemed to want to ignore him, but eventually stole a glance.

“Whatever.”

Jaebum wanted to respond to that real bad, however his teeth are clenched hard so he just shifts his weight from one leg onto the other.

The silence is so painful and Jaebum desperately tried to think of something he could say to break it. Jinyoung was faster anyway.

“Why isn’t this shit working?”

The language and the tone of his voice show how mad he is. Though he did speak to him.

Jaebum is a bit lost before he figures out what Jinyoung is talking about. The boy most likely wanted to wash down and cool his graze, still, he seemed not to know that the fountain malfunctioned all the time. The boys were used to the fact and didn’t really rely on it so they always had some water bottles on them. Jaebum chuckles, lightly, and then it comes to him that he probably shouldn’t so he suppresses it.

“It happens all the time.”

“Yeah, I see."

Jinyoung seemed on fire. Well, at least he wasn’t so cold anymore.

“You gotta wash that,” Jaebum states the obvious, buying time until he thinks of something better to say, and skips on another glare of Jinyoung’s.

“I know,” Jinyoung didn’t even notice Jaebum’s mouth lingering, “I’ll just do it at home.”

The boy moves slightly, wanting to walk back to the Cage and Jaebum stands in his way before he does.

“No, please, that is, like, an hour away, and that looks like it’s going to bleed.”

Jinyoung lifts his shoulder a bit, twisting his arm, and gives the scrape another look as Jaebum continues.

“Come to my place, it’s just five minutes away,” he proposes. “We’ll clean it. Properly.”

Jinyoung seems unenthusiastic at the thought, so Jaebum reassures him with an addition to his offer.

“Then, you can go home.”

This time, he gets a consideration instead of suspicion.

“Alright,” the boy says calmly though distantly, finally stepping beside Jaebum to walk towards the Cage.

Jackson is already in the metal doorframe, his arms draped on the top part of it, giving the both of them wary looks.

“You okay?” he whispers to Jinyoung as the younger pushes past him to reach the bench.

Jinyoung hums confirming, still sounding stressed, and grabs his keys and phone off the cold metal top of the bench. Jackson, registering, asks: “You going?"

“Yeah,” Jinyoung pulls the phone into the lower right pocket of his shorts, the one that it at the side of his thigh, and the keys into his right pocket that is situated just above his knee. “We’re done for today.”

“Let me walk you to the bus stop,” Jackson is still in his space and Jinyoung waves a hand to maintain the distance.

The kids awkwardly stand around the bench, getting their stuff too, so unbelievably slow from the uncertainty of the situation. Even unsure, they seem eager to leave the tension that was suddenly raised in their Cage.

“No, it’s late and you guys should go home already,” Jinyoung replies and the air is still ridiculously heavy. “I’ll go wash myself at Jaebum’s and then I’ll take the bus.”

Jackson scowls at Jaebum over the boy but seems to trust Jinyoung’s word more than anything. He glances once more at Jinyoung to check one last time and when he sees him nodding his body finally relaxes.

“Alright,” he sighs, roughing his hands into both of his pockets and uncomfortably makes steps to leave the Cage.

The kids look at one another, having conversations with their eyes, their body movements in contrast with Jackson’s who is already meters away from the metal fence as he picked up even more speed, probably from distress.

In a collective conclusion, they move out, the last kid being Yugyeom who couldn't help it and awkwardly threw them a “Bye, hyungs!” which was probably supposed to be taken light, yet all Jinyoung and Jaebum were able to do was look away and slightly nod.

He never felt this sick walking in his life.

The guilt was eating Jaebum up whole. He isn’t used to the experience, always finding that justification goes with his action. This time though… he really went too far.
Hence, he really wanted to say that he is sorry again, however, Jinyoung hasn’t looked at him once the whole walk toward his building and although the boy was now much calmer, he still seemed ...tense.
So Jaebum also felt tense, not talking, not even moving towards him too close. He barely made him accept his offer, he didn’t want to ruin it by making a rash decision ...especially after the earlier one.

Finally arriving, they walk up the numerous stairs; reaching the fourth floor where Jaebum’s apartment was. Even though was just a five minutes walk, it felt like an hour instead and Jaebum only recognized that when he unlocked the door and sensed immense relief.

“Shit, watch your step,” he almost trips over his welcoming cat.

Jinyoung almost trips over his cat, too. The boy immediately crouches as Jaebum closes the door. Barely seeing it in the low dark, Jaebum notices that he tried to pet it.

“Wow. Cute.” He sounds impressed.

Jaebum feels himself slightly smiling at the sight of a slightly cheered up Jinyoung.

“What’s its name?”

“Nora.”

“Well, I don’t think Nora likes me,” Jaebum even gets a small chuckle, but when his acquaintance stands up tall beside him he again feels chills even in the hot air of his hallway.

“This way,” he points him to the small kitchen on the near left when they take off their shoes and he steps into the room in front of him to switch on the lights. Now lit from the one simple light bulb, Jaebum can see the living room from the kitchen island and he feels nice in his small apartment. It’s just the three of them, his parents and himself, so it’s quite cozy. Well, four of them, counting Nora.

He looks over his shoulder to see Jinyoung anxiously watching him so Jaebum turns to the sink, reaching for the tap. When he turns the handle, he runs his forearms under it and the fresh water is so cold against his skin, the blood underneath cooling and spreading numbness up his arms; it’s quite relieving. He moves the arms away, shaking them off and motions Jinyoung to come closer as he wipes them off his shirt.

“Come, it’s cool enough.”

Jinyoung lifts his elbow up, looking at the wound one last time, and steps forward to dig his hand into the sink. He slowly moves his elbow under the water and hisses at the pain, though he barely flinches. Jaebum notices the small wince, so he supports with a gentle hold of his hand to still the boy’s arm. He did it without even thinking and when he does think about it, it’s too late to pull away.

It just came natural to him, no matter how nerve-racking it felt. Touching Jinyoung, that is.


“Does it hurt?”

The face Jinyoung makes at him definitely tells it does.

“It’s just… uncomfortable.”, the younger responds.

He’s lying again. Looking away too.

Why does that make Jaebum so out of place?

“Let me go find some gauze,” he finally finds an excuse to let go.

Jinyoung protests by saying ”No, hyung, it’s fine,” yet Jaebum doesn’t even hear it as he ventures into the bathroom. He finds it in it’s usual place, the box lying next to the laundry, and when he comes back around holding it he sees Jinyoung shaking his arm to dry it and closing the tap with the other. The boy stands watching Jaebum roll out the bandage. His eyes seem so desolate.

“It really is fine,” he repeats himself, “don’t worry about it.”

Jaebum shakes his head.

“Come here,” he taps onto the tabletop next to him, “the lighting is better.”

Jinyoung, although reluctant, gets closer taking one, two, three slow steps and leans his hips onto the edge of the kitchen island. He’s slouching as he brings his elbow up for Jaebum to see.
It looks bad and, he wasn't lying, the lightning really was better so Jaebum could see every single little cut that was caused by ...himself, personally.

His teeth grit as he evaluates the length of the gauze and starts wrapping Jinyoung up – from the base of his elbow all the way up to the wrist. He isn’t used to mending other people like this, he is only used to wrapping his own ankles and knees from when he used to dance, so it took a while and some frustrated grunts to finish it properly. The whole time Jinyoung was painfully quiet and painfully pressed against the tabletop, keeping distance. Jaebum didn’t even think about crediting the action to something because he knew it had to do with what happened just a half an hour ago, so he just disregards it as he grabs the strings of the gauze and ties it down to keep it in place. However, when he lifts Jinyoung’s arm to tug the knot to additionally secure it, the boy moves abruptly. Seemingly, in pain.

“What is it?” Jaebum jumps, already worried.

Jinyoung laughs it off dry. “Nothing, really, just my back—”

“Let me see,” Jaebum doesn’t even let him finish and instead spins the boy with a swift pull at his wrist. Jinyoung’s hands are at the tabletop as Jaebum lifts his t-shirt up to check for injuries.

He spots it.

“Ah, it’s a bruise.” A small one.

“I told you it was nothing—”, again the boy gets interrupted as Jaebum starts rustling up his shirt, moving it over his head and hence muffling his voice.

“I need to see if there is more,” he examines the boy’s back and, fortunately, it’s clear of any hint of a trauma. Jinyoung is surprisingly silent during this, slowly rustling the rest of the shirt off down his arms, though Jaebum can see his hands clutching at the counter edge to such an extent his fingers are turning white. The boy was pressing his whole body so hard against the brink.

Does he really hate him this much?

Jaebum’s hands join him at the edge, gripping it beside his fingers and he sighs, gently and carefully leaning his head onto Jinyoung’s shoulder. The boy tenses, but doesn’t draw back.

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum feels desperate. “...Was I scary?”

He feels and hears Jinyoung swallow under him.

Before the boy tries to say anything, Jaebum continues apologizing.

“I’m sorry, my mind just went blank and I—”

His head suddenly loses support so he lifts it up only to see Jinyoung turned around and facing him again. When their eyes meet they both widen them in shock from how close they were, Jaebum’s hands still at the tabletop edge and Jinyoung’s hips still pressed hard against it too.

They do not move. Jaebum only felt his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest.

He opened his mouth wanting to say something and he might’ve made a sound probably going “I...” but he doesn’t hear it, his thoughts only focused at the look in Jinyoung’s eyes and his also opened mouth where the boy breathed briefly and hitched.

His eyes flicker towards Jinyoung’s lips once more before he does something really, really stupid.

He leans down and presses a kiss onto them, heat spreading through his already warm body and it makes his heart hurt and knees weak.

Ideas of walking out, turning around and walking out of the room and out of the apartment, leaving Jinyoung behind just to get away from this as soon as possible haunt his head at once.

But, before he manages to even quiver, Jinyoung is kissing back, so ...so lightly.

His lips are moving against his own feel so soft Jaebum wants to die. He wants to taste more of it so he moves away with the aim of breathing in and licking his lips and as he does it his eyes don’t shy away from Jinyoung’s half-lidded gaze.

“What the hell...?”

“I don’t know...”

He kisses him again and as his lips are wet now they are sliding against each other so nicely, their flesh meeting quick and moist. Jaebum feels himself shake. He uses the chance when he falls deeper into Jinyoung, making him whine, and he licks his way into his now slightly opened mouth.
Is this supposed to be happening, Jaebum is confused, his mind spinning with a vast amount of thoughts although majority of them are about how good Jinyoung’s tongue feels against his own. The way Jinyoung now slightly bites at his lower lip makes Jaebum a little less bewildered. However, the burn of Jinyoung’s fingers then wrapping around his wrist ultimately erases any left trace of confusion.
The boy lifts his hand off the counter and Jaebum gasps against his mouth when he makes it leave it to cup his bare hip instead, Jinyoung shyly whimpering at the touch. Fuck, Jaebum thinks, shuddering, the skin so soft under his slow caress and his thoughts get even wilder. He wants to move away so he could look at him in the eyes once again but feels too afraid to break the kiss; although it is rough and wet, it feels so so fragile.

Jaebum wasn’t sure if Jinyoung was too loud or if his apartment is just too quiet at the moment. Nevertheless, it makes him crazy – Jinyoung whines at every move of Jaebum’s tongue, in between panting so low against his mouth, making Jaebum want to get closer and closer.
His hips move on his own, forward, as they usually do when he makes out, though this time something takes him by surprise: a hard line against his groin and he belatedly catches on to Jinyoung getting very aroused from all this.
Jaebum’s heart drops and his lungs feel smothered by the sensation, making him wheeze and slightly pull away but when Jinyoung tugs him back by the hem of his shirt he feels himself getting hard too. Their loins are now completely pressed together against the kitchen island and Jaebum can't help but mewl a bit at the warmth, blush crawling throughout him whole. He feels Jinyoung smiling against his mouth and wants to shove him to the ground again, yet, the want is… not quite the same.
His hand creeps up Jinyoung’s hip to reach the low of his back, fingers gliding against the sweat, and the boy lets a sound exit though his nose. It sounds like a suppressed moan and Jaebum can’t believe his heart's still beating as he moves Jinyoung against himself and his legs to step out of the kitchen. Jinyoung slides his arms around Jaebum’s neck, complying to his movement, and kisses him silently the whole way he dragged him to his room.

He pushes open the door with his back, them flimsily losing balance and Jaebum holding them tight together to regain it.

”You’re taking me to bed?” Jinyoung sighs, smirking onto his lips.

Jaebum swallows hard at the connotation of his words, yet he doesn’t give him the pleasure of an answer – he just throws him onto the mattress, the boy on his back, watching him from the pillow and breathing quietly. Jinyoung’s shirtless body and the bandaged arm resting on his stomach as he eyes for Jaebum’s next move makes him nervously fist his hands. He senses himself hesitate, but, it already came this far, and, it’s just the two of them here, both seeming to want it, even though Jaebum still isn’t sure how far that it implies…

He doesn’t care, he already misses the taste of his tongue just standing here, contemplating.

Kneeling his way onto the bed, he positions himself over Jinyoung and bends down, hands supporting the weight of his torso at the pillow, each on either side of the boy’s head. They both look at each other as Jaebum breathes in and then hunches over to make their lips meet again.

The more they kiss the sloppier it gets, panting into each other as they feel their wet tongues.
Jaebum feels Jinyoung’s arms slither around his upper back, fingers feeling his spine over the material of his sleeveless shirt and giving it a slight heave. Jaebum gives in, shifting his weight from his hands to his elbows and laying his body on top of him. Jinyoung’s hips are so warm, his arousal again rubbing against Jaebum’s, and he can’t help but steadily grind against the boy. It results in low moans, shared in between their kisses, and Jaebum can’t believe how good, how fucking good it feels, it makes him want to scream in awe.

It gets even better, Jinyoung now sliding his fingers down the wet fabric of Jaebum’s shirt and reaching for his ass. Jaebum’s mouth and hips stutter, unsure if he should like this, but when Jinyoung presses him down onto himself he decides he definitely does like this.
His crotch is so heated in between Jinyoung’s groin moving up to him from the bottom and hands guiding his movement from the top. Their kisses get wild along the way, now freely and playfully biting at each other, Jaebum tracing his lips down the side of Jinyoung's face and reaching his jaw. When he, cautiously at first, licks at his neck Jinyoung’s mouth is free to moan and the fact that he whispers hyung as Jaebum starts dragging his open mouth behind the boy’s ear makes him muffle a groan against his skin.

He didn’t feel his body, he only felt the sweat around it and Jinyoung’s fever underneath and damn it’s getting too hot. He hastily removes his torso from Jinyoung, taking off his shirt and the look on Jinyoung’s face as he observes his now naked body makes him anxiously bite his lower lip, but he also drags it into a triumphant grin soon after. He was about to lean in for another kiss when Jinyoung disentangled his legs from under Jaebum and proceeded to kneel before him instead, pecking him kittenishly before shoving him onto the mattress where he was lying just now.
The boy unhurriedly slid down his shorts, all the way to his ankles where he rocked them off to the floor next to the bed, and delicately straddled him, Jaebum losing his mind at the sight of this wet spot on the younger’s briefs. He shivers even more when Jinyoung drags his hips and the boy’s buttocks flush around his dick.
Jinyoung holds his balance with hands against Jaebum’s stomach as he slightly ruts against his length. He is looking at him quite confident and Jaebum is ashamed over not being able to look down at him in response as he usually did, not when the boy is straddling him like this, making him swallow with every little move of his ass. He can’t help but roam his hands down the sheets to Jinyoung’s thighs, clasping them.
The confidence is enthroned as Jinyoung teasingly smiles.

“Is this your first time?” he asks, though it’s not mean.

“No, of course not,” Jaebum sounds agitated, despite.

“I mean,” Jinyoung almost chuckles, “with a boy.”

Jaebum is silent at this, barely gulping down a dissatisfied growl, and Jinyoung grins wide taking it as an answer. The boy leans down then.

“Don’t worry,” he whispers in his ear, and slides his lips downwards, kissing wet at the skin of Jaebum’s neck. He sucks this spot at the collarbone next, dragging his tongue down his chest and even teasingly flicks it over a nipple – Jaebum lets out a small groan and Jinyoung sneers a short laugh against his abs before pressing kisses into them too. He kept crawling down and Jaebum could see his ass hung in the air as he did it, and he can’t help but wonder how he hadn’t noticed it before, down at the court, during play. It looked so thick and so tight, especially from this angle.

When the boy starts tasting the meat of his hip bone, fingers hooked at the waistline of his shorts, Jaebum feels his ribcage shake and he feels frantic but gently glides his hands to Jinyoung’s shoulders now, rubbing thumbs into them.
The boy flicks his eyes to his, mouth still attached to the skin, and then moves it downward fast and starts attentively kissing Jaebum’s crotch over the denim.

Fuck, this is happening, Jaebum thinks to himself as the boy lifts himself up and undoes the button of his three quarter shorts, tugging them down along with the underwear. Jinyoung licks up the length of his now bare cock and Jaebum inhales so deep his clavicle throbs. The boy does it so tortuously slow, attaching his fingers too and holding it nicely against his lips. As he exhales leisurely and also tremulous, Jaebum drags both of his hands through Jinyoung’s hair, fingers going behind his head when the younger closes his mouth around his tip and moves down, accepting it.

Jaebum can’t believe the boy he met two weeks is now going down on him, but he also doesn’t believe how much he liked it and how much he’s been wanting him this close ...ever since the first night. However, he never knew it was purely sexual. He… he hoped it wasn’t.

Still does.

He tugged on the boy’s hair when Jinyoung drew his mouth against him in a way that made Jaebum close his eyes and lifts his hips up, his glans hitting against his throat. He swears under his breath opening his eyes, worried about the reaction, but the boy only whined, seeming to even like it. He flops his head back to the pillow as he thinks of numerous times he unconsciously did this and every girl he hooked up with almost choking at it, however Jinyoung here took it like a goddamn champ, fuck, he even enjoyed it. Jaebum could definitely get used to this.

Just as Jinyoung played with his tongue some more and Jaebum was losing himself, the boy heaves as he leaves his crotch to mirror Jaebum’s torso with his own. Jaebum looks up to him too and tries not to stare at his spit slicked lips.

“You got some lube?” the boy is direct.

 Jaebum feels his chest catch fire so his mind takes over, properly replying a slow "Yeah."

He was shocked himself that he had it, he actually discreetly slid it into his backpack in the convenience store once after a shift, feeling unexpectedly horny that day. He of course payed for it, and only took it because he knew he was going to be home alone for a long time and realized he hadn’t had sex for almost ...a year now. He was ready to play by himself this summer, barely hanging out with any girls, no parties in sight either. Couldn’t even imagine it could get useful any time soon, especially in a situation like this.

“It’s here,” Jaebum turns to the nightstand, and panics when he doesn’t see it next to this book where he usually left it. “Fuck,” he leans up looking around until he finally spots it standing down by the bed instead. “Ah, here.”

“Great,” Jinyoung seems relieved too as he slides his briefs down his pale hips, lifting one of his knees to move them down all the way.


Jaebum’s heart pounds nervously when he sees where this is going, though he does pass Jinyoung the lube bottle.

Kneeling over him again, Jinyoung nods a thanks as he accepts it and gets some onto one of his hands before carelessly tossing it away. Jaebum watches him get a hand behind his back but it’s a short show as Jinyoung leans down to kiss him again, quite gently actually as he was too busy moaning to slide a tongue in. Jaebum is impatient, he slides his hands to cup the boy’s face, holding his jaw close to he can reintroduce his tongue. Jinyoung whines at Jaebum’s aggressiveness, the one arm supporting his weight almost dropping.

He abruptly breaks the kiss straightening himself and kneeling taller. Neither say anything as Jinyoung grabs Jaebum’s dick and positions himself right over it, slowly getting down.

The boy closes his eyes as the older enters him and god, it’s tight, also wet, and Jaebum groans so deep he feels it spread onto Jinyoung’s hands where they are laid flat against his stomach.

Jinyoung’s eyes are still closed as he bows a bit, getting a better angle at the slow and slight rolling of his ass – up and down. He only opens his eyes when he straightens his back, now sitting flush, and he watches Jaebum looking at him.


“Feels good, huh?” the boy smiles.

Jaebum nods unashamed, gulping.

Jinyoung now moves his hips faster, Jaebum barely containing his moans against them, and shuts his eyes again in pleasure.

Even though he doesn't know what to think of the fact that the two of them went this far, Jaebum can now only acknowledge the way Jinyoung’s dick is hitting against his own abdomen as the boy moves it over his groin. He wants to go ahead and touch it, but somehow gets scared, not knowing how should he do it, so he looks up to Jinyoung still unsure and instead gets distracted.

Moving up onto one of his arms, he watches Jinyoung’s open, swollen mouth as the boy whimpers. Jinyoung notices the shift underneath him and looks straight at the older boy now, shivery moans through his nose as he slows his movement down, but Jaebum only stares at his red, tempting lips. He slides his free hand onto Jinyoung’s hip, the boy shuddering at his touch, and goes to kiss him again, making way for his tongue to make it messy.

They were moving so slow now, only thing moving a tad faster being their tongues, making out so nice and deep as they fuck.


Suddenly, Jinyoung quietly moves away a bare few centimeters away and whispers, his hips proceeding with the slow rhythm, “Jaebummie hyung... you like kissing a lot?”

Jaebum feels like a spotted kid in a play of hide and seek but still nods, kind of politely.

Jinyoung smiles in the half dark of the room. “I like your kisses,” he responds and moves back to his lips, arms now slid around his nape.

One hand on the boy’s hip and other at the bed, supporting him, Jaebum lets Jinyoung do most of the grind for a while as he balanced himself over Jaebum’s shoulders. However, when Jaebum’s hips started thrusting up by themselves at some of Jinyoung’s moans, he feels his gut furiously heat up so he pants back into the boy’s mouth. The boy hums, kissing him some more until he lifts himself up, both his hips and his mouth leaving Jaebum’s.

“Come on,” he kneels next to him, motioning him to get up.

Jaebum is uncomfortable at this shift of dynamics, him usually yelling at and ordering Jinyoung around at the court since he was the experienced one, but now it’s the opposite – Jinyoung is leading him throughout all this. Not that Jinyoung didn’t have his way around in the Cage, it’s just that this was another type of domination. At any rate, Jaebum desperately wants to turn it around.

So, when Jinyoung was about to lay on his back instead of him, Jaebum went ahead and grabbed him by the hips to stop them in the air, fixating Jinyoung on his knees. The boy catches himself on his hands and looks over his shoulder, flustered.

“What? Hyung—"

He was probably supposed to end that sentence, but he got interrupted with Jaebum thrusting inside of him, hence the moan that left his mouth instead.

“Are you close?”, he slowly slides in and out as he asks.

Jaebum has to determine his superiority. Even if he gained it just a few seconds ago.

”Yeah,” Jinyoung sounds discontent, although also shaky, “sur—”

“Fuck,” he then moans, interrupted as Jaebum snaps his hips against him now repeatedly and digs his fingers into his hip bones. The sight of Jinyoung dropping his head down in pleasure moaning into his crossed arms at the pillow makes Jaebum’s hips stutter a bit and just as he regains his pace he sees Jinyoung sliding an arm down the sheets to in between his legs. Something about Jinyoung jerking off to Jaebum going hard inside of him is driving him to the edge and soon enough his gut is seething and he cums.

Jaebum internally curses at how fast this happened as he works his way through it, but when he spies white release spreading underneath the boy he’s still holding he feels himself relax.

He barely pulls out and lets go, his knees flexing down just to drop his torso on the side. He quickly turns on his back, still breathing deep in a try to get some air. One of his shoulders pressed against the wall, the cold feels good and brings him back to his bed instead of just feeling Jinyoung or sweat.

“Sorry about the sheets,” he hears and turns to the boy beside him.

Jinyoung is lying on his back too, only a bit curved, avoiding the now drying stain in between them.

Jaebum throws a wrist over his own forehead, wiping the sweat off though not giving it too much attention.

“I’ll change it in the morning,” he mumbles, forearm still over his eyes.

“Gross,” Jinyoung complains jokingly and Jaebum now slides the arm away.

“It’s your mess, you’re the one that’s gross here,” he looks at him however the boy is smiling so he looks away, turning to the wall.

He senses movement somewhere at the end of the bed though he doesn’t search for it with his eyes. He pulls up his boxers with his hands, and the shorts he lazily rocks down with his legs.

“But where will I sleeeep—”, the boy was whining but stops as he turns his head from where it’s bent over the mattress edge to look at Jaebum, “I can sleep over, right?”

Jaebum squirms at the question, repositioning himself only to lay the same way again on the bed. He observes Jinyoung as the boy finally found his briefs laid next to the bed and stood up to put them on. When he is done he puts a knee at the bed, however, he freezes there, waiting, as he realizes Jaebum hadn’t answered his question yet.

“Yeah,” Jaebum finally says, “just,” he lifts himself with his elbows, “wait a bit,” he drags himself off the bed.

He stands next to the boy as he rustles some covers down to the end of the bed and proceeds to tow off the sheets, giving them a lazy tug. When they leave the bed completely, he throws them onto the floor immediately and brings the pillow, that kinda fell off with the action, back into its place as he flops back onto the now bare mattress.

Jinyoung lays next to him, seeming less nervous. He isn’t afraid of touching though, his legs entangling into Jaebum’s.

Out of nowhere, it’s so hard to keep his eyes open.

Closing them, Jaebum groans in response to Jinyoung scooting over.

“It’s hot,” an open protest.

Jinyoung chuckles and gets even closer, elbowed on his side.

“Don’t cool off,” he runs a hand through Jaebum’s sweaty hair, “I like the warmth.”

Jaebum manages a low laugh. “I’m just so tired.”

“Yeah,” Jinyoung laughs too, still going through his strands.


The last thing Jaebum feels and remembers are five warmths, Jinyoung’s fingers repeatedly stroking their way from his damp forehead to the top of his head, so gentle.

Jaebum wakes up. Rather rampant too.

Did he have a nightmare again?
If he did, he has no memory of it.

The wall in front of him seems white but not light enough. He turns over his shoulder and checks the time on the clock that was hung on the opposite wall – it’s way too early, a bare dawn smiling though his window. He heard passing cars and, as always, the sound comforts him. He was about to turn back around when his eyes focus on something else.
Jinyoung was laying right next to him, though their bodies weren’t locked anymore. He had this thin cover over his stomach and seemed to be peacefully sleeping on his back.
Was he cold? When did he get the cover? How long was the boy up after he fell asleep?
Jaebum feels bad for drifting off so fast. He can’t blame himself, he really was tired after a long day and ...maybe not so long but equally stimulating night. Still, he regrets not saying anything about it when they laid themselves in bed afterwards. Just, too exhausted, he couldn’t even think about it, couldn’t think of whether or not he even ...regrets it.
He thinks about it now and decides that he definitely does not regret it.

He isn’t sure when he fell asleep again.

Jaebum wakes up to the white wall again. To something else too.

It’s warm, going down his back.

It’s Jinyoung’s touch.


He hopes he didn’t flinch and startled the boy, though giving the continuous action, he seemed not to do it.

The touch is sliding up and down his bare back, slowly, the skin of Jinyoung’s fingers feeling nice against his own skin. Jaebum closes his eyes again, enjoying it, especially the way the boy tarries at his lower back. Though, after a couple of rounds, it doesn’t – it slides all the way down and now caresses Jaebum’s buttocks. He almost chokes containing a laugh and his lungs burn. But, when Jinyoung’s hand stops being hesitant and starts feeling him up properly, he couldn’t lie to himself and think it didn’t feel quite good. Actually, he lets him do it for a while, still pretending to be asleep and not noticing. The touch was only slightly sexual, the boy never went to touch him too inappropriately. He hardly grabbed him too, only slid his palm over the surface at a slow pace.

When Jaebum felt himself getting a tad bit aroused, he made a waking-up groan and slightly stretched out, making it as believable as he could. It seemed to work, as Jinyoung immediately and expertly pulled his hand away. Jaebum again almost laughs but is able to fight off the urge and he rubs his still sleepy eyes, turning over his shoulder.

Both Jinyoung and the sun were staring at him now – the first from the pillow and the latter from the window. He basically ducks into the shadow of Jinyoung’s head, hiding from the rays, and now they are at a face-to-face level.

“Hey there, husband,” he mutters, and can’t help but look at these crinkles that formed around Jinyoung’s eyes as he smiled.

Without warning, Jinyoung sits up. Sun hits Jaebum’s face again and he growls because of it. Jinyoung probably didn’t notice, as he just spoke out.

“It’s so hot, even this early.”

“Yeah,” Jaebum agrees as he opens his eyes, squinting, and watches some sweat rolling down Jinyoung’s spine.

“You can shower if you wanna,” he says as he glances at the bandage still rolled around the boy’s arm, “I’ll go turn on the AC.”

Jinyoung, when he turns to look at him, has a cute smirk on his face.

“We can go shower together,” the boy’s smile amplifies now.

Jaebum’s eyes widen at the invitation.

“Ah”, he leans up.

“...sure.”

As Jaebum went to the living room to turn on the AC in advance, he saw Jinyoung through the open door of the bathroom. The boy was examining the room and Jaebum watched him as he walked until he reached the door frame. They were both still in their briefs, sweaty for hours and ready for to at last get some water on them. Jinyoung looked at Jaebum when he closed the door behind him and the boy maybe smiled as well but Jaebum didn’t see it as he got too flustered to stick around and instead went to turn on the shower. He sticked his hand under the stream, checking the temperature, and he knew Jinyoung was taking off his underwear behind him without even looking.

“Is this okay?”, he turns to ask but Jinyoung is already stepped out next to him and checking himself.

The younger makes a face as he says: “A bit too cold.”

Jaebum quickly readjusts and sees the pout disappear from Jinyoung’s features.

“Mhm, good.”

The boy is already entering as Jaebum rocks down his briefs and goes ahead to join him. He stands silent as he watches Jinyoung raise his head, water hitting his face and hair. The younger’s profile and the ornament of endless droplets sliding down it makes a wonderful image Jaebum doesn’t think will leave his head in a while. A sudden thought draws away his attention to Jinyoung’s arm and he grabs it by the wrist, pushing him out of the water’s reach, kindly.

“Watch out for the bandage,” Jaebum warns, feeling the spray of the shower head hit his back now. He still held the younger’s hand mid-air, though not over their eye level.

“Ah, I forgot,” the boy runs his free hand through his hair, getting some water out of his face.

“I guess I should just hold it up,” Jinyoung continues and swings his swathed arm up over his head, and Jaebum never lets go so he gets pulled along, their bodies dangerously close now.

Jaebum hears Jinyoung swallow but is too busy staring at his pretty, dripping mouth. He really wants to kiss it. He wonders if it would be okay if he did.

Jaebum agrees with a vaguely winded nod and helps by keeping it up, almost pinning it to tiled wall. He feels his eyelids get heavy, though his mind is more awake than ever when he sees Jinyoung’s eyes flickering to his own lips, his desire reflected.

He goes in for a kiss and, wow, it tastes as good as it did last night. Jinyoung’s breath hitches against his mouth when Jaebum gets carried away and pushes himself closer, in the process pressing the boy’s back flat onto the cold tiles, and he uses the moment to tongue his way in.

Yeah, Jaebum hadn’t kissed anyone in a long while, but at this moment he could swear no one in the world kissed better than Park Jinyoung – this Park Jinyoung whom, at the moment, he had pinned down in his shower and whose neck he had against his lips.

As Jaebum traced his lips down the boy’s collarbone, he saw that Jinyoung got hard from his touch. He already assumed from the whines, but seeing it with his eyes was a whole other thing. He almost stares for a second before he goes back to kissing again and the reluctant hand from last night disappears – he goes to freely touch him now and the moan that he induces doing it rolls sweet into his ear and he inhales hard at it, lips at the boy’s jaw now.

Jinyoung doesn’t wait, his unoccupied hand roams into the air until it grabs at Jaebum’s crotch and starts jerking him off, slow. In response, Jaebum instantly goes back to Jinyoung’s lips and kisses him mercilessly, both of them exchanging breaths and tongues.

His body shivering both from the cold of the confined room and the mutual touches, his head spins with the echo of their sounds and the taste of their spit combined. Jinyoung leisurely thrusting into the circle his fingers formed also adds up to the feeling and he groans-whines out of his mouth, moving himself to bite his lower lip.

The boy tilts his head backwards, exposing his throat and Jaebum noticed earlier that Jinyoung likes it when he does it so he drags his tongue down his jawline, accepting the request. He finishes it off with sucking a light bruise underneath his ear and when he moves back to look at it he sees the whole image of Jinyoung watching him from under his eyelashes, wet hair and wet skin, the hickey visible. His body is jerking from the way Jaebum is working him down there but he never breaks the stare they are sharing for a full moment now.

He doesn’t break the stare but suddenly the look in his eyes shift and Jaebum registers that he must be doing something good with his hand and he makes certain to continue it until he sees Jinyoung come apart underneath his touch. The boy doesn’t give him the pleasure of seeing it all the way though, he instead chokes a whimper before shutting it down with the older’s lips, stepping closer, and Jaebum feels the boy cum and loosen the grip around his dick but it doesn’t matter as Jaebum cummed anyway just from the sound Jinyoung made while still latched onto his jawbone.

After sharing some breathless looks, Jaebum finally lets go of Jinyoung’s arm, though the boy doesn’t let it drop, he puts it over his shoulder dragging him back and they kiss again.

Jaebum was lazily rolling on a clean t-shirt as his eyes were searching for a second shirt to give to Jinyoung. The one he was wearing was the last one that was hung on the chair by his desk, so he went ahead and took one from his closet. Holding it gently in his hand, he left his room to go back to the living room where he left Jinyoung. The boy was sitting on the couch in these boxers Jaebum already gave him after they got out of the shower and dried a bit. His hair was still damp, since they made out in the shower for another half an hour; all until the hot water started running out. Reclined, Jinyoung watched Jaebum as he walked in from the hallway and handed him the shirt.

“Here,” Jaebum offers.

Jinyoung accepts with a nod and puts it on at once. Meanwhile, Jaebum sits next to him and rustles his hair some more with the towel that was left lying on the armrest up till now.

Grabbing his phone at a buzz, Jinyoung stares at it, typing, while making an anxious face.

Jaebum leaves the towel and watches him, curious.

“Everything alright?” he asks, head bowed to look at him.

Jinyoung glances back and smiles before responding.  “Ah, yeah. Just letting my mom know I’ll be home soon.”

Jaebum swallows at the casual tone in the boy’s voice.

“She knows… where you are?”

“Ah, no,” Jinyoung laughs petite, “she is just used to me sleeping over at Jackson’s when I miss the last bus.”

Jaebum’s heart kind of hurts when he recalls that he walked him to the bus stop himself only once.

“I just text her I won’t be home for the night and it’s fine.”

“So, you do this often?” is what Jaebum wants to ask, but he doesn’t do it.

It was something that burned his mind ever since he woke up.
Jaebum knew Jackson was just a good friend. He saw it later on as they all hung out and the air wasn’t as tense. He recalls the way he instantly assumed the two of them had a thing just because they are close and Jackson ...is a boy. The way Jinyoung let it slide and even teased him made it even worse. He felt rather embarrassed over it though he never found the nerve or strength to comment on it.

Now, he only wondered whether this was the first time Jinyoung used Jackson as an excuse for not sleeping in his own bed. He assumes it isn’t. Although stays silent.

Absorbed in his thoughts, he is late to take notice of Jinyoung staring at him, still reclined on the couch, head now slanted onto the cushion of the back. The phone was out of his hand, dropped next to his seated thigh.

“What?” Jaebum stares back at him and he wants to try and make it as casual as Jinyoung did so he too leaned his back onto the cushion. Their faces are close now and he blushes a little, still, he isn’t sure Jinyoung noticed.

Although calm, even tad smiling, the boy seemed deep in thought. Jaebum might’ve made an impatient face at him as Jinyoung quickly wet his lips, hurrying himself.


“I,” he starts and stutters, “I think I like you.”


The admission straight in his face, Jaebum feels his face heat up even more.

They were so close Jaebum saw his reflection in Jinyoung’s eyes. He focused on the brown and shiny around it instead and found it kind of hard to breathe for the moment.



He wants to say it, he wants to say that he might like him too but it won’t come out.

Jaebum’s mother always told him he had trouble conveying his feelings, yet, he never believed her. Pushing the idea away, he convinced himself that he was simply bad at words. It lasted for years, all until now, now when he had the words yet no ways to say them.

Somewhat moving his jaw, feeling the slight grind of his teeth, he just stares at the boy.

He felt weak.

“Can I kiss you again?” is what somehow leaves his mouth.

A confused look on his face, Jinyoung holds his stoic gaze despite the lack of an actual response from Jaebum. The boy holds his hands laid over his bare thighs, fingers curled, as he tries to figure out what to think of the situation.


“Yeah, okay,” a consent is what he came up with, and with it Jaebum leans in and presses his lips against his, not giving much attention to how nervous Jinyoung looked as he did it.

The younger kissing back so soft, Jaebum drags a hand around his waist and brings them even closer. Jinyoung made some cute noises as they kissed with tongue and Jaebum secretly caressed some of his skin; arms and thighs where they were bare.

When he pulled back away, he gave Jinyoung a really small smile, a close-mouthed one, but he knew he saw it as the boy smiled back, crinkles forming around his eyes again.

Standing up quickly and leaving the boy seated, he walks toward the kitchen.

“Are you hungry?” he asks but doesn’t seek over his shoulder for a response.

“I ...guess?” Jinyoung sounds a bit hazy.

Jaebum opens the fridge and digs his head in, hand holding his balance at the door.

“You like eggs?”