Chapter Text
"W-where are we?" Atsushi asked, looking at Ranpo and hoped the detective would know. Moment ago they were sitting in the agency, waiting for their lunch, and now, they were in a void white room. The one perfect for his enxiety. He was already shaking under his skin, and it didnt help when he saw Ranpo open his eyes and look aroud for a bit too long.
"I may have an idea, but can't be sure." He explained and sighed. As he looked at Yosano, she just smiled.
"Dont worry, I think everything will be fine."
"You think?" Kunikida asked and looked around, trying not to see Dazai jumping around like a kid. "Right now my schedule is being destroyed AGAIN, and Dazai is BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS AGAIN!" He pointed the last words at Dazai, but he just laughted in run toward them.
"Ku - ni - ki - daaaaa! I am not being a pain in the ass right now, you know it. And if you want, Chuuya there can tell you what mean that I am pain in the ass, right Chibi!"
"YOU FUCKER- WHAT DID YOU DO NOW!?" Chuuya came to Dazai, ready to beat the shit out of the poor mummy. Dazai hid behind Atsushi, who didnt know what to do, while Akutagawa was staring him down out of jelausy. He was in a terrible position, honestly. Dazai smiling behind him, Port mafia executive trying to kill him, and Akutagawa... being Akutagawa. And where were they? Why were they here? He may be just a little scared.
"Heyyy!" Mori from behind waved Yosano, Dazai and Fukuzawa. They all just side eyed him and ignored.
"Why are we here?" Tanizaki asked, looking trapped between mafia, detectives and his sister.
"Poe-kun!" Ranpo laughted and started running towards his rival, who got jumscared almost as bad as his raccoon.
"And now, I can start!" A happy voice was heard. Happy... it sounded as happy as Dazais when he was in the mafia, thats how they all knew they were fucked. "Why youre here? Because I was bored. What will you be doing here? Seeing your traumas again! Who will be doing? Everyone who I chose to be my victim, when will you be doing? NOW! Yeeeeeeeyyyaaaaaa!"
"Is this some kind of ability?" Kunikida asked and looked at Dazai. Nothing made sense now.
"Ohhhh, you must be wondering why my little friend here is able to stay? Well, lets say it will all come to light when the time will be right."
Well now it all sounded even worse. Ability that Dazai cant nullify? That was bad. And why couldnt he nullify it? Everyone had questions they wanted to ask, but couldn't as the voice started to talk again.
"Okay, okay, well, I talk a lot, like A LOT, but I will try to tell you like a normal person... okay, I made a game, and it will literally be cards, on which you will have to guess where is the lie. If you don't guess right, you will have to watch the part, where you went wrong! Okay, bye, bye!!!"
Everyone just stared, Dazai raising his eyebrow and looking at Chuuya. "This guy or whatever it is, should learn how to breathe."
Chuuya smirked, thinking the same, but then in the air there materialized cards with names. They all were made like:
Name:
Surname:
Years:
Job:
Kills:
Family:
Picture:
And it had every one of them. First few were from the ADA. Atsushi, Kyouka and Kunikida and Ranpo, who all had a few of kills, but some things were wrong. On Kyouka's place for picture was Kenji, for Atsushi was written that he was sixteen, while for Kunikida was job mafia, and Ranpo's surname was wrong. I don't like this... it's too easy, Ranpo thought. He was staring at everyone else in the room, as Mori said what on the card was wrong, for each of them.
The next ones were Tachihara, Kenji, Naomi and Tanizaki. Tachihara's was wrong family, where it was written: alive. A cold joke, he chose to ignore, while at Kenji's was written zero kills, but even though he is a sunshine, it wasn't true, while Naomi and Tanizaki it was switched pictures. It was all way to easy. It started to make everyone feel uneasy. They were looking aroung, as they went on.
Gin, Yosano, Hirotsu and Higuchi. Family, job (it was written mafia, and she almost lost herself, when she saw Mori's smile), name and years. Fukuzawa, Mori, Poe, Akutagawa, and oh, now they understood why it was all before so easy. Under all the cards, there was now written that they to tell the right answer, and it wasn't hard, when it was for Fukuzawa job, for Mori years and Akutagawa family, but Poe... the only logicaly wrong answer would be kills, but who knew how many he actually killed?
He looked at Ranpo for help.
"You don't know the exact count, right?" He asked and his rival quickly nodded. Ranpo just sighed, looking for the best answer, but ended up looking at Dazai, who just grinned.
"Zero kills."
"WHAT!?" Everyone looked at him. They knew the guy with raccoon seemed nice, but zero!? Really!? He was a whole fucking terrorist! Only Ranpo seemed to understand the answer, so he succeed to keep Poe calm.
But Dazai, of course, just waved it off, as he went to explain it to the room, before they would be forced to watch how many people he actually killed. "He didn't kill anyone, as the only people who died and would be counted as 'his' kills, died because of the book, in which they would have to solve the case. So the kills were in their own hands, or the books'. The blood is not on his hands."
And room, somehow, let them go on. So they could get away with the wrong answers, if they explained why they were actually true? This made it somehow easier, if anything like that would come again. But now, the only ones left were Chuuya and Dazai. They looked at each other, both a little scared of the point that the other ones were so easy. And everything went cold when at Chuuya's name was written Bob.
"Bob?" Dazai smiled and looked at his dog. "Now I have a new name! And it's even more stupid than Chuuya!" (I'm so sorry, if anyone is named Bob, I didn't want it to be rude, but it's Dazai, ya know? Just don't come for me, please.) Chuuya rolled his eyes, and his eyes went big when he saw Dazai's card.
"A-ah? Dazai... can you explain?"
Dazai looked at the card and felt just so many eyes on himself. It was... interesting. He looked for the best way to explain, but the truth was... this was probably the only time he actually didn't know what to say.
Name: Shuuji
Surname: Tsushima
Years: 21
Job: detective agency, port mafia, assassination center
Kills: 17
Family: dead
Picture: (there was a little kid, knife in his hand, crazy smile on his lips and he was, well, covered in blood. And like it wasn't enough, he was dressed in black coat and around him there were bodies.)
"Ahem... ups?" Dazai laughted awkwardly, looking at Chuuya for help, but the chibi was still frozen on the spot, but not because of the name, job or even the picture. He was looking at his age, smile slowly forming on his lips.
"Wait... you're actually this young!?" He was grinning like an idiot.
Atsushi kind of just stood there, not knowing what to do. "H-how do you know this age is real?"
Chuuya gave him the best side-eye that Dazai had ever seen on the ginger. "Really? The wrog one it's obviously the kills. And honestly, since his ability doesn't kill, we can't even say he didn't kill. He did it with his own two hands."
"What if we say it was the gun that did it? Or a knife?" Kunikida suggested, looking at Dazai, who smiled out of shock of the informations that were being left for everyone here to see. It was Chuuya who answered for him.
"This piece of shit didn't only kill with gun and knife. Some guys he killed with his own hands. You know, choking and this..."
At this point Dazai honestly thought that his name was the least of the problem. So... what will they do with the kills? He didn't know how many people's lives he has taken. He was an excecutive, and even an assassin! What did they expect from him?
"Well... so... what do we do?" He asked, looking at the smartest people in the room. Even at Mori!
"The best is to guess, I think." Mori said, looking like he was already counting. "Your head count when you left the mafia was around hundred, give or take fifty. And that was only from the cases I gave you, so if you killed people on your own–"
"He did."
"Than probably add a houndred, just for sure, and we come on 200. If you were an assassin as well, and by the way you look in the picture, I would give another tfifty per year. How long were you an assassin?"
"Around eight years... oh, this is bad. But it wasn't really fifty per year, I think? At the start I did only about ten, and so for the next two years..."
"Okay, so that means, 200 and add thirty for those three years, 230, now for the next four years it's normal, so 430. But it's too norma and you probably didn't go from ten kills to fifty, so I guess... it's a little more and you quickly went from a cute but depressed kid to a murderer so I would say around 526 kills."
"This... better be right." Dazai sighed and Kunikida just stared. He knew his partner was ex mafioso, but this was still bad! He was almost as bad as Nakahara, who was close to thousand kills, but you have to understand the difference in their abilities. Dazai's was useless for killing, so that really meant that it was all on him, to kill them.
But what they heard as an answer? Laugh. Happy, kind of psycopatic. "Ha! Oh god, you guys were so close, but no. His kills are... ta ta TAAAA! Look!"
The card now changed, numbers for kills too high for Dazai to look at them.
"You call this close!? Close means fifty more, less, not 526 to FUCKIN 2464!" Kunikida finaly screamed with Tachihara as a back vocal. It was interesting to see Chuuya was this once not in the group of loud people.
He was still looking at the age, way too happy. "I can't believe you're a whole year younger than me... year and two months, ha!"
"Oh c'mon! So nobody is going to coment on his name? Job?" Higuchi looked at them, fianally letting Akutagawa have his peace.
"I mean," Mori looked abd smiled. "I asked him to tell me his real name. Only to tell me how he wants me to call him. Honestly, now his name is Dazai, only if he wants us to call him Tsushima?"
"No."
"Well, than it's all good. Now, shall we watch your kills?"
Mori seemed so happy, it made Dazai feel uneasy. Informations about his life were about to go out, for them to use it if they choose to.
"Well, about that... you got the kills wrong, but his life was covered in blood since very young age, so you will have to watch most of his life. Oh! And because I am a good person, some of your friends will come too! I'm so happy to help." As Dazai could learn to this point, he was sure it was about to get even worse. He didn't even have the voice to say anything back, he just chose to let it happen.
And who could know! In the next moment, in front of him was standing Fyodor, with his clown and Sigma. And this just became terrible.
"What I am... oh?" Fyodor smiled, as the person who made this room gave him all the memory of what happened here. Even this rat was about to find out everything. From the little talks, to the worst mental breakdowns he had.
Good god, this was about to be some terrible time to survive.