Chapter Text
Hayden is invited to All-Star Weekend for the first time. He reckons it’s old hat to most of the other players by now, but since this is his first time he’s genuinely excited. He can’t wait to hang out with the other players, play in the skill games and of course play the game, which has for once been divided up between the two conferences.
He knows he’s not the best player on the Voyageurs. Shane is on another level and Hayden genuinely believes his teammate and friend is the best ice hockey player in the NHL right now. Hayden is not a flashy player or someone especially fun to watch. He’s not good at anything in particular. The reason he made it all the way into a Stanley Cup winning team is because he’s dependable and solid. He works hard, puts in the hours and always reaches a certain level of play no matter how the others are doing.
Admittedly, this season has been his best season stats-wise so far. It’s also not been Shane’s best season so far, who has been a bit more erratic and would be the first one to admit that too, so the focus shifts a bit more to others like Hayden. He can’t say he minds it and that he’s not enjoying it, because he is. It’s nice to be noticed and recognised! Hayden doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
Plus, it’s hard not to notice how pleased Shane is for him and how he almost seems relieved when one of the members of PR comes into the dressing room asking for Hayden instead of Shane. Hayden never wanted Shane to carry the press burden alone most of the time and he’s happy he’s being allowed to step in more.
“You’ve picked a great first year to be selected for All-Stars, Hayd,” Shane tells him as they board the plane together and sit down. “It’ll be great to be in Florida.”
It’s been freezing in Montreal for what feels like weeks now, so Hayden is also looking forward to a few days of sun. Unfortunately their schedule of away games hasn’t flown them towards any warmer destinations recently either.
“Was Jackie very disappointed that she couldn’t make it?” Shane wonders.
“She told me she’ll come next time,” Hayden says with a light smile. He appreciates that his wife thinks he’ll make it to the All-Stars game for a second time.
Jackie was very happy for Hayden when he told her he’d been selected for the All-Stars Weekend. Of course he wanted her to come as well, but Jackie had been more pragmatic about the decision and reasoned that with her pregnancy and the three other kids it made more sense for her to stay in Montreal this time.
Hayden knows he’s going to miss her terribly and that he’ll video call her every day. He also knows that it’s nice to have a few days to himself with the best players in the league.
Besides, with his romantic partner absent he does at leave have his partner in hockey with him. There’s no one else who he’d rather be with for his first All-Star Weekend.
Shane nods. “Next year, then,” he says with all the conviction that a best friend could muster, which in Shane’s case was always genuine. “I am assuming the NHL will realise Florida is a great hit so they’ll host it here next year too.”
Hayden concludes, not for the first time and definitely not for the last time, that he got so lucky that the Montreal Voyageurs drafted him. It gave him the career he dreamed of, it means he met the woman of his dreams and it even gave him a best friend who is ever-supportive.
“Any state with temperatures above Montreal’s average will be nice,” Hayden agrees. Thinking of Jackie still, he asks Shane: “Did you talk to Rose at all?”
Shane recently broke up with Rose Landry after a couple of months of dating. Most people are still speculating about it and Hayden doesn’t doubt Shane will get that from the other hockey players as well. He told Hayden after a recent game that they weren’t compatible. Hayden guesses the nature of their careers means they just couldn’t make it work.
“I messaged her today,” Shane says. “She’s jealous we’re going to Florida as well.”
“We? You and me, we? You mentioned me to Rose Landry?” Hayden is putting just a bit more emphasis on his excitement of being known by Rose, because he knows that Shane will find it amusing.
According to his grin he does find it amusing. He lightly shoves Hayden. “Be normal, Hayd. She is just a friend.”
“Please tell me about the next famous person you’re going to date, Shane, so I can practice being normal about it.”
Hayden expects Shane to tell him to shut up because he has no plans of ever dating anyone famous again, or perhaps to point out that Shane is actually famous as well. Shane doesn’t have much of an ego about being recognised, but he is aware that others would categorise him as a ‘famous person’.
Instead, Shane looks away from him the moment he finishes his sentence. Hayden swears Shane’s cheeks are turning red.
“Shane?” Hayden asks slowly. “Are you seeing someone else that’s famous?”
“No,” is the instant reply, only for it to be softened with, “I’m not seeing anyone right now, I swear.”
“I believe you,” Hayden says cautiously, sensing the conversation suddenly became a lot more loaded. “But if you were, I would be happy for you. No matter who it is. Regardless of whether they’re famous or not.”
It’s enough to make Shane glance back at him and smile. “Thank you, Hayden,” he says. “I’m really not. But if I am, I would tell you.”
Hayden has to trust Shane will tell him. Shane is very good at keeping his cards close to his chest, so Hayden sincerely hopes that when the time comes that he has something to tell, that he will actually do so.
They are among the last players to show up at the hotel. They get their room keys and head over to their rooms. Hayden takes his time changing his clothes and getting cleaned up before heading back downstairs to greet his teammates for the weekend, so he’s not surprised that Shane beat him to it.
What he is surprised by is where he finds Shane. He’s sitting at the bar with Ilya Rozanov.
Is this what happens during All-Star Weekend? Do sworn rivals become friends?
Hayden swears he’s never seen Shane exchange a single civil sentence with Rozanov before, never mind an entire conversation. Yet that’s exactly what’s happening in front of him. Both Shane and Rozanov are sipping from their drinks and at some point Rozanov starts to laugh at something Shane says. Shane doesn’t seem to mind Rozanov’s laughter, though.
Carter Vaughn, a right-wing player from the New York Admirals, appears beside Hayden. He witnesses the bizarre spectacle unfolding in front of their eyes alongside him for a moment before breaking the silence.
“Pike!” he says cheerfully. “Good to see you, man!”
“You too, Vaughn!” Hayden replies, accepting the handshake and subsequent half-hug.
“So that’s rare, isn’t it?” Vaughn asks, indicating Shane and Rozanov. “You would know. You share a locker room with one half of that rivalry.”
“This is very rare,” Hayden is quick to agree, thankful that someone else is seeing the same thing he is. He’s not hallucinating, then. “They don’t like each other at all. Shane is always mentioning how much he can’t stand Rozanov.”
Vaughn nods in agreement. “Scotty can’t stand him either,” he says, obviously meaning the Admirals captain Scott Hunter. “I imagine he’s good to have on your team, though. We’re finally going to be playing with him in the game at least, so maybe we can see some of it up close.”
For the first time since Hayden played in the league, the NHL decided they’re not doing Team Europe vs Team America anymore. Instead they’ve gone back to the conference format that Hayden thinks a lot more people will be interested in. At some point people will have had enough of Hollander vs Rozanov and will just want to see the players of the teams that are rivals playing with each other, rather than mixing them all up.
It does mean that Shane and him, and Vaughn and Hunter as well, are going to be playing on the same team as Rozanov.
“Maybe that’s why Shane is being friendly,” Hayden offers. “He knows they’re going to have to play together. I assume he also knows that none of us particularly like him. Someone has to play nice.”
It’s typical of Shane, who is chosen to be the captain of the Eastern conference team, to get a headstart on team bonding. Shane hates losing and won’t want to lose in the game against the Western conference either. Rozanov might be very annoying, but he is also a very good player to have on your side.
“I’d rather it’s him than Scott,” Vaughn says with a grin. “Do you want to go and find the others? We should grab a drink too.”
That’s a plan Hayden can definitely agree with. He joins Vaughn, who has clearly done this before, and after a stop at the bar (definitely not the one that Shane and Rozanov are still talking at) they mingle with the other players.
Hayden gets a chance to ask Shane about Rozanov after their team dinner. They head out and back to their rooms at the same time. Rozanov had only made one jab about Hayden’s selection for All-Star Weekend, so Hayden guesses he’s feeling nice.
“I saw you with Rozanov earlier,” he mentions, trying to sound casual. “I was surprised he wasn’t immediately telling you how weak your backhand is.”
Shane grins a little. “Oh, do you also think my backhand is weak, Hayden?”
Well, it’s not the best part of Shane’s hockey skillset, but Hayden assumes that Shane knows this too. “I don’t think there’s anything about the way you play hockey that anyone should consider weak,” he says.
“Thanks, Hayden,” Shane replies genuinely, like he isn’t the best player in the NHL. “Rozanov was fine. We were just catching up.”
Does anyone just catch up with Ilya Rozanov? Is that possible without him chirping you? Hayden has never experienced this.
“And how was he?” Hayden asks.
For some reason, that gives Shane pause. “I guess he was mostly asking about me,” he says. “He’s not a guy that talks very easily.”
All Hayden saw that night was Ilya Rozanov talking. One minute he was making fun of Scott Hunter’s age to his face and the next he was asking Vaughn about Gloria, his girlfriend, like he actually cared about that at all. The next time Hayden listened in after that he was trash talking Toronto’s team with a player from Toronto sitting three seats away from him and then he somehow had to mention he had the best hotel room of them all, at a corner on the twelfth floor.
“He’s a dick,” Hayden says, like it’s an inevitable conclusion. To him, it is.
To Shane, it seemingly isn’t. “He really isn’t so bad,” he protests mildly. “He’s just very…European.”
Hayden has no idea what that means. He doesn’t think Shane is going to get any more specific if he asks, though.
“I guess that does take some getting used to, after years of playing against the Europeans,” he offers instead, making fun of the Europe vs America format once more.
Shane cracks a grin. “I’m glad they changed it,” he says. “I was getting tired of that format. I think this is better.”
They part ways in the elevator, since they’re both on different floors, and Hayden calls Jackie as he makes his way through the hallway and towards his room.
By the time he sees Jade and Ruby on the videocall, Hayden has forgotten about Shane’s conversation with Ilya Rozanov. Arthur is already in bed, but the twins insisted on staying up so they could see him before bed. He tells them a bedtime story and sings them a lullaby.
Once they’re asleep, Jackie and him talk for a while longer. He tells Jackie about the dinner and about how welcoming Vaughn was. Hayden guesses he was somewhat afraid that people were going to act like he didn’t belong at the All-Star Weekend, but between Shane commenting on next year and the others greeting him like an old friend rather than a new face he’s been reassured.
Hayden falls asleep with Jackie on the phone, still sleeping better with her than without her, and lets the impressions of the day fall away.
After the skill games and the All-Star game, that the Eastern conference team won, most of the players find each other at the downstairs bar at the hotel for one last drink. Most of their flights leave early in the morning, so there’s not much of a chance for a last catch-up over breakfast. The very early flights also don’t make for ideal conditions to go out, so the hotel bar is a compromise for many of them.
It doesn’t seem like the early flight stopped Ilya Rozanov from going out, though, because he’s nowhere to be found.
“I don’t know about you guys,” one of the defensemen from Ottawa says. “I think if I was on a team with Rozanov full-time, I might really like the guy.”
This remark naturally gets met with some good-natured ribbing and someone calling out ‘you wish!’ from the other end of the table. Hayden is pretty sure that it takes more than Ilya Rozanov to make Ottawa a play-offs contender, but he shouldn’t judge.
“Dykstra has a point,” Vaughn says. “If he was on our team, we would be defending him. Marlow doesn’t like him as much as he does for nothing. Besides, he’s not a bad guy. He’s just weird.”
“European,” Hayden says what Shane told him at the start of the weekend.
“Exactly.” Vaughn points at him. “This guy gets it.”
They go for another round. Hayden switches to water and even gets a few players to join him. The rookies and the second year players at least aren’t allowed to drink yet either, so not even half of the table is drinking alcohol at this point. It’s a very sensible group of people. Shane would very much approve, Hayden thinks, but he’s not here either.
That’s something that Scott Hunter points up. “Pike, where’s your boy?” he asks.
“In his hotel room,” Hayden says immediately. “Knowing Shane, he’s studying film. He’s figuring out how we’re going to beat Columbus, I assume.”
“He’s very dedicated,” Hunter says.
“Just like you,” Vaughn says, clapping Hunter on the back. “And you’re both very focused too. Which is why I was so surprised to hear about Hollander with Rose Landry.”
Vaughn raises his eyebrows speculatively and everyone is looking at Hayden then. It’s not like he’s ever going to tell anyone about what happened with Shane and Rose. He knows very little about it, but he also knows that Shane told him more than he told most people, J.J. and undoubtedly his parents included. Hayden does not intend to break Shane’s trust.
“They were really good together,” Hayden agrees. “But with her shooting schedule and Shane’s dedication to the Voyageurs they couldn’t make it work. They agreed to stay friends. I think they still text.”
“Rose Landry, though,” a player from Columbus says. “I would work the hardest I ever worked to make sure my relationship worked out if I was dating Rose Landry.”
Hayden has heard many chirps by now about how Shane supposedly ‘fumbled’ Rose Landry, never mind that it was an adult, mutual decision on their side. He understands that Rose is universally beloved and considered to be attractive, but it should matter far more that Shane and Rose couldn’t make it work, discussed this and came to the conclusion they should be friends.
Thankfully he doesn’t have to think of something witty to say, because a defenseman from Pittsburgh says “And that’s why he’s going to beat you in the next game!” and the rest of them laugh.
The conversation naturally goes back into hockey then, a topic Hayden is far more comfortable with. They discuss who they think are likely contenders for the play-offs and who they think should, not will, win the Cup, if they can’t pick their own teams. Hayden doesn’t like it, but he honestly and begrudgingly picks Boston, and gets the appropriate amount of laughter for it.
When he returns to his hotel room it’s still early enough to be considered a reasonable hour, though he definitely missed Jade and Ruby’s bedtime. Maybe Jackie is still up so he can call her, though. He missed her badly, like he always does when he’s on the road and is caught in a quiet moment like this.
He walks into the hallway from the elevator and, much to Hayden’s surprise, finds Shane exiting a room. Shane’s hotel room isn’t on this floor. Shane looks wrecked in the best way possible. It’s not something that Hayden has ever even seen hints of with Shane before. Shane is a very composed and put together person normally. He doesn’t think Shane wants anyone seeing him like this either.
Oddly, he also looks wrecked in the worst way possible, like something is heavily weighing on him that he can’t shake. He’s clearly going through something. Hayden wants to ask him about it and see if there’s anything he or maybe Jackie can do.
Then he hears Shane tell the person in the hotel room goodbye. “Good night Ilya,” he says in an undertone Hayden has never heard before. The closest tone he remembers is when Shane talks to his children, but it’s not nearly the same. It’s very fond.
Ilya. Rozanov.
Who is in a hotel room on the same floor as Hayden. Who Shane has been talking to. Who obnoxiously kissed Shane on his cheek when he assisted a goal Shane scored during the game. And who was notably absent, just like Shane, when they gathered at the hotel bar earlier.
Shane is dating Ilya Rozanov. That’s where he keeps disappearing whenever they play in Boston. That’s why he never sticks around when they play Boston in Montreal. And that’s who is saved in his phone as Lily.
The door closes. Shane turns and spots Hayden immediately.
Hayden spots the flash of panic on Shane’s face. It’s a blink and you miss it expression, one he can only recognise because he’s seen it on Shane before. If it were anyone else walking into Shane they would probably have believed whatever excuse Shane is currently coming up with, because they don’t know him. But Hayden does.
“Rozanov and I were just -” Shane starts.
Hayden shakes his head. “You don’t have to tell me,” he blurts out, interrupting Shane’s excuse. “If you don’t want to.” He needs to do better than that, so he clears his throat and continues. “But I meant what I said on the plane, Shane. I am happy for you if you’re seeing someone. No matter who it is.”
Mostly, he cannot overemphasize how weirded out he is by this turn of events, but he can’t say that out loud right now. Shane looks terrified. Hayden’s first response is clearly crucial and he’s afraid he’s fucking it up.
“Are you…are you sure?” Shane asks, looking him up and down.
Hayden can work with that. “Of course,” he says immediately. “I care about you and I want you to be happy. If Roza- I mean, if someone is making you happy, then I support that.”
“Right,” Shane says, breathing out deeply. He looks like he’s sensing a crisis has been averted at the last minute. “Okay. We should... Should we talk about this? Do you want to talk about this?”
“Let’s talk in my room,” Hayden says.
He’s half-convinced Rozanov can hear this conversation word for word at the other side of the wall and is laughing at both of them. He definitely knows that they shouldn’t be doing this in a hotel hallway where any hotel guest, but also any of this year’s NHL All-Stars, can just walk in at any moment.
Shane nods weakly, which Hayden takes to mean that he agrees they need to get out of here. Hayden quickly makes his way to his own hotel room, unlocks the door and lets Shane in first.
Because they’re leaving first thing in the morning Hayden already tidied up most things. The clothes that were thrown over the armchair in the corner in the morning have already been put back in his bag and the bed has been made by housekeeping. Hayden indicated the armchair so Shane can sit and sits down on the bed himself, turning towards Shane.
“So you and Rozanov?” Hayden asks, breaking the silence that threatens to linger.
“No,” Shane says, then backtracks immediately. “Yes. But it’s not what it looks like, Hayd, I swear.”
Hayden, to be honest, has no idea what it looks like. His mind has been coming up with possibilities, the one more insane than the next, since he saw Shane leave Rozanov’s room. He knows that Shane is in a relationship of some sort with Rozanov, but it’s all blanks otherwise.
Shane’s shoulders are hunched inward and he seems to be curling up on himself, looking a lot smaller than he is in the armchair. It’s a contrast to what he looked like when he came out of Rozanov’s hotel room, when he was a lot more loose-limbed. Hayden really doesn’t want to know what happened in that hotel room between Shane and Rozanov, but it had clearly done Shane a lot of good. He isn’t relaxing anymore, that’s for sure.
“How long?” Hayden ends up asking in the end, though he can make an educated guess.
Shane makes a low noise in the back of his throat. “I - I don’t know. I don’t know what it is now. I don’t know what we’ve been.”
That gets Hayden’s defenses up immediately. “Is he leading you on?” He pauses to think about the last couple of months, about Rose, and adds, frowning: “Were you leading him on?”
“No,” Shane says before burying his head in his hands. “It’s complicated, Hayden. We hurt each other before. I recognise that now. But we’re trying -” The words are muffled and Hayden hears him sigh. “We’re trying,” Shane decides.
Hayden isn’t good at this. Shane never talks about relationships with Hayden. In fact, the only one that talks about relationships with him on any sort of deeper level is Jackie. She always knows the news about his teammates’ relationships before he does, so he goes into the locker room prepared.
This is the time to start learning, though. Shane needs him to get this right.
“Let’s uncomplicate it,” Hayden says, trying to get through this conversation by trying to figure out what Jackie would do. Jackie would narrow it down to the gist, he thinks. “You care about him, right?”
“Yes, I care about him,” Shane confirms, still talking in his hands.
“And Rozanov -”
“Ilya,” Shane corrects him, so muffled Hayden can hardly hear him.
“And Ilya cares about you.” It’s more a statement than a question in this case.
“Yes, I think so,” Shane says.
It can’t be that simple. Hayden knows that. But why can’t they at least use that as a starting point and go from there? Hayden is going to have to take weeks to wrap his head around the idea of Shane and Rozanov together, but what matters far more is that Shane has been in some sort of relationship with Rozanov for years and has always hidden it. Hayden can process this complicated tangle later. It doesn’t need a definition right now. He needs to untangle it with Shane first, because Shane seems to be spiraling.
“Does anyone else know?” Hayden tries. “About the two of you?”
Shane finally lifts his head again, though he doesn’t look at Hayden for longer than a few seconds. “No,” he says. “Just me and him. And you, now. And I guess Jackie when you’re going to tell her later.”
Shane is right and Shane knows he’s right, but Hayden is going to protest it regardless. “If you don’t want me to tell Jackie, I won’t tell her,” he says. “But she can keep a secret. She would never tell anyone, Shane.”
He nods a little, still looking miserable. “It’s just -” he starts and pauses, fidgeting with a loose thread on one of the pillows against the back of the armchair. “It’s not safe for Ilya to go back to Russia if it ever comes out that he’s with me.”
It’s not just the NHL then, Hayden realises. The NHL is enough of a reason for Shane and Rozanov to want to keep the relationship under wraps until they have it figured out and know what they want, but Russia’s policies complicate things much further.
Shane seems to take Hayden’s silence as an invitation to continue. “Ilya also mentioned that his father is sick and I think he’s downplaying it. So he has to be able to go back to Russia, for when he needs to.”
Well, Shane is definitely deeper in this than Hayden anticipated if they’re already talking about their families and Shane can tell when Rozanov is downplaying something. This is something he can uncomplicate for Shane, though.
He moves to the edge of the bed so his knees almost touch Shane’s and clears his throat.
“Rozanov will be able to go back to Russia when he needs to, Shane,” he says. “No one is going to find out about this, whatever this is, until you decide you want them to. It’s been years,” he shudders to think how many years, being honest, “and no one found out. That’s not about to change. You will be fine. Rozanov will be fine.”
“Do you really think so?” Shane asks, sounding hopeful.
“Yes, I really think so.”
No one is going to guess Shane and Rozanov are together. It’s such an unlikely situation that Hayden didn’t realise it until it was happening in front of his eyes, and even then he was still looking for alternative reasons. Even now he’s only eighty percent sure that this is real. The other twenty percent of him assumes he’s asleep and about to wake up from this very strange dream.
“So you’re okay with me being gay?” Shane asks, voice sounding small.
“Of course,” Hayden replies immediately. That’s a question that doesn’t need any second thought. He doesn’t consider it something for him to be okay with, but that’s semantics that Shane doesn’t need from him right now. “I recognise this wasn’t how you wanted to tell me, but I’m glad I know.”
“Why?” Shane asks, eyebrows frowning.
“Because now we can actually talk,” Hayden says. “When it’s the two of us, I mean. We don’t have to talk about girls. And you can talk to me about it. It’s Rozanov, so that part will take some getting used to, but the principle stands.”
They can be honest with each other now. Jackie can stop trying to set Shane up with her friends. Hayden can stop asking him about women.
Shane’s shoulders relax a little and he’s even smiling when he says: “We can still talk about girls if you want to, Hayden.”
“I was talking about girls for you!” Hayden protests. “I only want to talk about one woman, Shane.”
Shane’s smile grows a little. “Well, I only want to talk about one person as well,” he admits. “So I guess we can both talk about our… Person.”
“Our partners,” Hayden suggests.
“I would like that,” Shane says. He’s smiling fully now.
When they land in Columbus, Hayden has two messages from an unknown number.
Thank you for being so nice to Shane, the first one says. The second one follows up with At least mediocre player is not mediocre friend!
Hayden shakes his head as he messages back We’re still beating you in Montreal next game.
The reply is instant. I would not count on it, Pike
Grinning, Hayden saves the number as ‘Shane’s Lily.’