Chapter Text
The winding roads never seemed to end. Each turn led to another, filled with a view of nothing but trees. They were a sickening green color. They looked too unnatural, not real. It was nothing like home, this whole country was nothing like home. And Lovino desperately wanted to demand the coachman turn them around right this instant! But he couldn’t, he knew that. His request would go unanswered and ignored. This trip was too important, one that would hopefully bind two countries together.
It was so boring to be cooped up in this tiny space for such a long time. There was absolutely nothing to do. Even talking got boring after doing it for hours. So, the young boy rested his head against the window. Looking out at the scenery with an unimpressed side eye, partially zoning out. Everything had started to blend together, blurring as Lovino’s eyes unfocused and his mind drifted. He couldn’t tell when one tree ended and when the next one started. What was a bush and what was overgrown grass?
Whenever a rock got caught under the wheel of the coach it would shake the whole thing. Jostling the three residents in it around. Making Lovino’s head rise and smack against the glass. It would snap him back to reality, the small ache growing after each hit to the window. Adding to the grimace on his face. It was the only thing that was keeping him awake. That, and the sound of his brothers quiet snoring.
Lovino turned his head, watching as his younger sibling slept peacefully, despite all the bumps on the road they were hitting. He had his head softly resting against their dad’s arm. One that was held firmly in place to not disturb his sleeping son. Lovino loved to sleep, he would do it all day if he could. But Feliciano was somehow worse. He could sleep through almost anything, he had seen it firsthand. Their dad would practically have to drag him out of bed before he even bothered to crack an eye open. It must be because there was no pressure put on him. He had no responsibilities and Feliciano knew it. He was too young, eight to be exact.
Not that Lovino himself was much older. Only by two years did he have his younger brother beat. But he felt all the pressure in the world pushed onto him. Sometimes it got suffocating and there was no one to turn to, not fully anyways. Feliciano lived a blissful life and truth be told whenever he got to spend proper time with the younger one Lovino always felt…refreshed. He was welcomed into a dizzying world of whimsy and fun, for a brief period of time he was allowed to be a kid. Lovino wished he could live in that world every day. He had no memory of what life was like without his brother. And although he wouldn’t admit it, he really wouldn’t have it any other way.
He loved his baby brother.
And so did their dad. His eyes shifted slightly higher up, seeing the stern and exhausted look on his poor father’s face. He had always been like this, constantly stressed and distant. It only made sense; there was no queen for him to share his burdens with. Just a man who was left on this earth alone with two sons to raise and a country to run.
It would be a lie if Lovino said he didn’t want to know his father more. He so desperately wished that when he held out his hand it would be met with his dads. Holding it with a warm and gentle touch. To let him know that he’s safe and loved. But that was never the reality. His hand was always met with a vast cold emptiness as he watched Feliciano take his spot. Happily swaying their dad’s arm as they held his hand tightly. The two laughing like Lovino didn’t exist at all.
There was a time it wasn’t always like this. Sure, he had no idea how Roma treated him as a baby, but he knew it had to be kind. There were distant memories in Lovino’s mind of the two of them playing. Laughing at nothing while he sat in Roma’s lap because that’s the kind of thing you do with your father. But when Feliciano got older…well he proved to be better than Lovino in every way. And suddenly he wasn’t his dad’s little boy anymore. He was just his son.
Even with his cruel stare, his dad had to have loved him at one point.
With a small huff the brunette turned his head back towards the window. Surprised to see that the nature that had previously filled the view had been replaced. They were higher up now, Lovino could see the whole town all the way up here. The sight pulled a quiet gasp from him. He put his hands on the window, pressing his face against it to try and get a better view. It was hard to see, the stone bridge they were on abstracted most of his sight. But he knew given the proper chance to see it the sight would be stunning. It was clear that at any second, they would be stopping at their destination. And Lovino was excited to finally be there. To get out of the carriage and stretch…
“Lovino.”
The unexpected voice caused the boy to jump, a small yelp escaping him. He turned quickly, being met with his father’s eyes staring intently at him.
He spoke with such an intense tone, like Lovino had done something wrong. “When we get to the castle, I need you to be on your best behavior.”
“Sì papà- “He nodded along with his words to show his full understanding but was quickly cut off. Leaving him with a frustrated frown.
“No Lovino. I mean it. You can’t argue with anyone, you have to be respectful.” He emphasized his last point. As if the young Italian couldn’t fathom the idea of being nice to anyone. Sure, Lovino wasn’t always the sweetest kid, but he had his rare moments. Especially when it came to his father’s work. “I need this meeting to go well. Don’t ruin it for me! Why don’t you try…to be like your brother for once, okay?” There was a softness in his tone, but it was laced with a harsh order, not a suggestion.
Lovino glanced down at Feliciano, pain swelling up in his chest at the sight of him. He bit the inside of his cheek then looked back up at Roma. Nodding again, but this time it was quick and full of attitude. “Sì papà!” He repeated. His voice had turned sour, clear annoyance dripping from the start to the end of his words. Earning him an angry look from his dad.
“Don’t use that tone! Lovino, dico sul serio. (I'm serious.)”
He raised his voice, it was common for him to do that while talking to Lovino. But before he could lecture his son any further, the small body pressed against his started to shift. A yawn from Feliciano was what broke the rising tension. As he raised one arm in the air to stretch while his other hand rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes.
Any anger that had previously been on Roma’s face instantly melted away as he watched his youngest stir awake. Being replaced with soft eyes and a familiar smile, a look Lovino wished he would be given.
“Papà?” The tired voice spoke up. “Are we there yet Papà?”
“Almost Feliciano, we’re about to be there. Did I wake you up?” His voice was full of care, it felt like whiplash from how quickly he could change his whole demeanor depending on which son he was talking to.
“No papà, it’s okay!”
“Good.”
Lovino’s frown deepened as he crossed his arms, sinking deeper into himself. He fixed his eyes to the outside, that way he didn’t have to watch the scene next to him. He watched as the castle that had seemed so small from the bottom of the hill get bigger and bigger the closer the coach got to it. The coachman's voice was muffled, but it was clear they were slowing down. Lovino could only assume the horses had been told to stop.
There was movement as the coachman got off his seat. Climbing down to steady the animals pulling them along. Before making his way to the side Roma was on, opening the door swiftly and standing to the side, leaving room for the three of them to exit. This part was always so awkward. Lovino was placed at the very end of the coach, meaning he was forced to slide on the small bench until it was his turn to finally hop out. Except ‘hop out’ was more, take a leap of faith and hope you don’t land funny.
He watched his father climb out effortlessly, reaching his arms in after to grab onto Felicianos waist and hoist him out after. Squeezing the kids sides to earn helpless giggles as he squirmed in Roma's grasp.
“Papà no!” He said in-between squeals of joy. “Stop tickling me!”
Roma chuckled, putting the young boy down before turning to Lovino. Watching as he inched himself to the open door, his tongue stuck out in concentration. The Italian felt a pair of eyes on him and looked up at his dad. An unsure look crossing his face.
“Do you need help Lovino?” His face turned red an embarrassment but he nodded anyway. “You’re older, you shouldn’t need to rely on me for these things.”
“I’m not much taller than Feli though!”
With a sigh Roma reached his hand out, offering it to his oldest. “I suppose you’re right.”
Lovino looked at it with uncertainty. Like if he reached out to take his dads hand he would pull it away and laugh in his face! But as he slowly raised his own hand, Roma’s didn’t move. A sort of giddiness spread through Lovino’s body and for the first time since this trip started, he smiled.
He clasped their hands together and hopped out, stumbling only a little bit as he reached the ground. Holding onto the firm grasp from his dad for as long as he could before it was swiftly swept away from him.
“I need you boys to listen to me while we’re here. This place is new. And I need the German’s to see how trust worthy Italy can be.” Roma spoke loudly. Making sure both kids heard and understood him.
Lovino muttered under his breath. Normally him and Feliciano stayed home while their dad went out to these meetings. Sometimes he would be gone for days on end. And the boys would be watched by an extra amount of caregivers. Who were forced to listen to what Lovino said, he was the soon to be king...in years. But it was still thrilling to have everyone listen to him for once. Honestly, Lovino loved those days more than anything. It gave him and his brother a chance to really bond. Without anyone putting them down. He had been so excited for his week or so of being ‘the man of the house.’ But unfortunately they were forced along on the trip this time. Lovino guessed that whatever was being discussed was so important that Roma needed the extra sympathy points of being a single father.
Roma’s hand quickly grabbed his shoulder, pulling him and Feliciano close. Lovino looked up, an eyebrow raised to question why he had so abruptly shoved the siblings. But his question was quickly answered as the sound of shoes on the rock like ground echoed out. He looked forward, The royal family offering welcoming smiles to the Italians.
Right, he was expected to be like Feliciano. With a side glance he saw the younger one smiling wide and waving. So that's just what he did. He bunched his eyebrows together and forced his own crooked smile with a small wave. It was probably clear he wanted to leave. Whereas Feliciano was beaming! Like he was seeing a puppy they would be able to keep, not some random place in Germany.
“Hallo” The older man - the king presumably - spoke calmly. “Was the ride over okay?”
“It was really long!” Feliciano spoke up. “Super duper long! I slept through a lot of it though so it really wasn’t that bad! But I think your English may be a little off, you say ‘hello’ not ‘hallo!’ It’s okay though, my English isn’t all that good either.”
“For someone who’s English isn’t good you sure are speaking a lot Feli-“ Lovino said but got cut off as Roma laughed loudly, obnoxiously. Clearly forced with irritation.
“Excuse him, he is my youngest. He’s only eight and loves to talk. Especially now that I am teaching him English.”
The older German man laughed. “Ah, it is okay. I understand how kids can be.”
Roma looked relived for a split second. “You have a kid, yes?”
“One, she doesn't always live with us though. The first queen wasn’t from Germany. So she chooses to visit her family in Hungary every now and then.” He smiled brightly despite Roma's pained expression at the mention of the first Queen. Knowing all too well what it was like to loose a wife.
The German King looked down at the two young Italians. “What is your name?”
“Feliciano!”
“Feliciano...’hallo’ is how you say ‘hello’ in German.”
The young boy gave a look of bewilderment at the statement before erupting into a small fit of giggles. “That’s such a silly way to say that! Hallo!”
“Hallo.” The king gave a small nod as he watched the joy radiate off the boy. Turning to Lovino with the same bright smile. “You are?”
“Lovino sir.”
“Ah, you must be his older brother?”
Lovino’s eyebrows rose and he nodded. “I am” He didn’t say any more. Even as the king looked at him with expectation. When no more words were spoken he shrugged and looked towards Roma. Who was smiling cheerfully.
“It wasn’t a trouble for you to come here was it? Me and my wife are much too old to travel back and forth anymore.”
“Oh no, it was no trouble at all!” Replied Roma “Now I hope that the conclusion we come to will make it worth it.” He spoke as if what he was saying was a joke, winking at the couple for a better affect. Even as they laughed Lovino knew it was serious. Whatever Italy needed from Germany seemed important, why else would they be here?
The woman next to the man lowered her head to chuckle at his words. “I’m sure you will leave feeling satisfied. Now, would you like to come in?” She turned her body to the side, extending her hand towards the huge doors behind her.
“Yes, I would love to.” Roma gently nudged his sons, urging them to walk.
Lovino thought the outside of the castle was big already, but as they walked inside he realized just how huge it really was. The floors were practically shining, they must be cleaned every day! Not only that, but it seemed like every surface in the building held some kind of reflection to it. Sure, his house was neat and always clean. But compared to this? Well, their castle was filthy. His jaw dropped slightly as he looked around. Feliciano audibly “ooo”ing at the site in front of him.
A throat clearing snapped their attentions towards their dad. Who looked irritated at their wandering eyes.
“Ragazzi (Boys), stop staring!”
The queen in front of them shook her head. “No no, its quite alright. We don’t mind if they look around.”
Feliciano hopped on his toes. “Oooh, you really mean it? We can?” He grabbed his dads hand tightly and tugged on it excitedly. “Papà, come on! We have to look!”
Roma let out a breath mixed with a laugh. Shaking his hand away from his son and placing it gently on his head. “I think he means look with your eyes, you don’t need to go anywhere” His attention was brought back up. “I apologize, my sons have never left Italy before, this is their first time out of the country.”
An understanding look crossed over the couples faces. “I see, well I’m glad our lovely Germany can be the first experience for them.”
Lovino crossed his arms, resisting the urge to eyeroll. Was every royal meeting filled of overly nice words and laughs? He puffed his cheeks out, wanting nothing more then to leave. It’s not that the place was bad, the trip had just been long and so far...not worth it. Leaving his town for the first time was supposed to be fun. But all he’s done is get yelled at and looked down on.
Roma clapped his hands together, the noise echoing though the fairly empty yet large room. “Destro! (Right!) Should we start our discussion?”
The woman opened her mouth slightly from surprise. “Are you not tired? Me and my husband understand if you’d wish to rest first.”
“I'm fine, I’d rather start our meeting now. But I'm sure my boys would be more than willing to rest.”
The adults laughed, so did Feliciano. But Lovino was pretty sure he didn’t actually find it funny. He just wanted to be apart of the laughter.
“Well, we have a room for them. Someone will show them to it.”
Almost as if on cue a servant dressed in such ridicules looking clothes stepped next to the king. Looking too uptight to be taking care of two children. Regardless he motioned for the boys to follow him.
Feliciano had to be walked to him, he may be a bubbly kid but he was still relatively shy. Untrusting of the strange man who wanted to take him away from his father. But upon hearing Roma's reassurance he happily crowded the workers space.
“Lovino.” His dad spoke with an edge to it. “Non essere uno stronzo. (Don't be an asshole.)” With that, he turned away from his sons, leaving them behind in favor of following the German couple to...wherever it was important conversations went down.
Lovino couldn’t suppress his eyeroll as soon as dad had his back to him. He had barely said anything! He was nice, he even smiled! Just like Feliciano. He had done nothing wrong, nothing to get that kind of reaction! Sometimes he thought Roma was mad at him simply for the sake of being mad.
But why him?
.
.
.
Lovino sat on the bed he had been given for the few days he would be in Germany. Kicking his legs with an absent mind. He was looking down at his lap, where his hands rested palms up. He was holding a small rose brooch, one that his mom had given him many years ago. He brought it everywhere with him, it brought him comfort when the world seemed too loud. And here in this different country he needed it more than ever. Lovino tried to listen to what his brother was saying to him as he ran around. Talking about whatever came his mind, or admiring the room they had.
With a quiet groan Lovino fell back, hitting the mattress with a small thud. He put the hand holding the brooch on his chest. While his other hand laid on the bed below him. The sheets felt silky under his hand. And he couldn’t help himself from running his fingers over the fabric. Closing his eyes, letting the mindless jabber of Feliciano act as white noise. Slipping into a state of consistent hand movements to feel the cold and smooth blankets. It was all calming. He let out a quiet hum to himself. For the first time sense they had been out of Italy Lovino felt almost at peace.
“Lovino!!”
His body jolted at the sudden closeness of the voice. His eyes shooting open as Feliciano jumped onto the bed, landing next to him on his stomach. He put his head in his hands, raising his legs to kick them as he laid there. Lovino frowned at him.
“Fratello!! Don’t look at me like thattt.” His brother whined. Earning an even deeper frown from the older Italian. Although his eyes showed no real anger.
“Were you even listening to me? I was telling you all these things but you weren’t responding!” Feliciano’s eyes drifted to Lovinos’ hand on his chest. “Loviiiii, what are you holding?”
Lovino looked slightly shocked before looking down at his hand, clutching onto the rose brooch tighter. Then he looked up at Feliciano’s wide gaze and sighed. He let himself relax as he propped himself up on one elbow. Releasing his grasp to reveal the object in his hand.
Feliciano gasped in delight and reached his hand out to take it. But Lovino quickly pulled it away. “You can look. But you can’t touch.”
“Oh...okay. It is very pretty fratello! Where did you get it? Who gave it to you?”
“Mamma.”
Feliciano gasped again, with a bit of a squeal added at the end. “It is beautiful!” The young Italians eyes softened to a more curious look. “Lovi, what was she like?”
Lovino took in a long slow breath, closing his hand and laying on his back again. Sliding his hand under the pillows on the bed to put the precious brooch in a safe spot. When he was done he brought his hand back out, keeping it close to his body. “I don’t know Feli.”
Feliciano smiled sadly and reached out, grabbing ahold of his brothers hand with a gentle touch. Lovino squeezed it, keeping his gaze on the ceiling.
“Papà never talks about her. And when she died I was too young Feli, I don’t have a lot of memories. But I remember her being kind.”
“Did she love me?”
Lovino’s heart ached. He would do anything to see his mom again, hear her voice, feel her embrace...to feel loved. ”Sì, she loved you very much.”
At the words Feliciano’s turned soft, letting go of his brother’s hand in favor of helping hold his head up again. For once silence fell between two of them. And Lovino hated it. It felt unnatural to not have Feliciano talking every second. The air between them full of melancholy and sadness. He didn’t want to feel sad, not now. So, he did what he did best and let the sorrow in his chest fester into mild annoyance as he spoke up again. Breaking the tension in the room.
“What did you want Feli?”
“What?” He looked confused but quickly remembered what he had previously meant to say before getting distracted. “I'm bored...”
That's something they could both agree on. “Can’t you look around more?”
Feliciano shook his head with aggression, his lips pushing forward in a pout. “No fratello no! The room was sooo cool at first. But I’ve looked at it all already, there’s nothing new!! Sono annoiato!!” He let his head fall from his hands, face planting down onto the bed. Spreading his limbs out like he had died, flailing them around as an extra measure to get Lovino’s attention. Letting out a muffled cry of annoyance.
Lovino couldn’t stop a smile that tugged on his lips. He ruffled his brothers hair before sitting up. “Alright! You don’t have to be so loud about it!” He pushed himself off the mattress, adding a little hop as his feet landed on the floor. That made the younger Italian lift his head just high enough to peak at his brother with one eye.
He walked around the room briefly, double checking if there was anything they could use to entertain themselves. But unfortunately the room was clearly not meant to house little kids. So it held nothing of interest. That gave Lovino an idea, if there was nothing in here...then surely there would be something out of the room. The castle was huge!
Feliciano’s gaze followed him as he walked over to the door, hesitating before pulling it open with as little noise a he could make, not that it would matter much. No one would hear a little door down these long halls. Feliciano quickly shot himself up. Using his arms as support so he didn’t fall back down. “What are you doing!? That nice man told us we had to wait in here until they got us for dinner!” Lovino didn’t seem to notice him though, as he poked his head out the door to look both ways. “Fratello!!”
“Quiet Feliciano!” He snapped, looking back at his brother. “If you’re so bored why don’t you come with me?”
Feliciano’s eyes widened, as if that was the most insane question he had ever been asked. “Because that would be going against the rules!”
Lovino rolled his eyes. “Feli It’s fine, we’ll look around really quick and come back! No one will notice we even left!”
At that his younger one gave an almost pleading look. “What if we get in trouble?”
“We won’t! The place is too big for them to even suspect we’re gone! No one will know, fidati di me (truest me) Feli...It will be fine!” He stared at his brother with a hopeful expression, contrasting the one he was being given.
There was a few seconds of silence but eventually the younger Italian gave in, rolling onto his back and getting off the bed. Running up to Lovino and gripping onto his hand. Normally he would hate this, as much as he loved his brother he wasn’t a terribly touchy person. But the boy was happy he even convinced his brother to leave in the first place, to go against what he was told. It felt cruel to deny him the comfort he may need. So he held Feliciano’s hand tighter and sprinted down the hall. Hoping that the two of them could find something to do without getting caught.
It wasn’t long before they got lost. All hallways started to look the same, throwing the boys off with every turn. Despite that, they couldn’t stop laughing. At first there was panic when they realized they couldn’t find their way anywhere. But it quickly disappeared because, well, they were together. It wasn’t as scary to be in a maze when they were hand in hand. So they filled up the quiet halls with their jokes and laughter.
They were running when Lovino was suddenly pulled back as Feliciano abruptly stopped. Pointing to a glass door, hopping up and down with excitement. Paying no mind to the fact he had accidentally flung his brother back into him.
“Lovino look look!”
“Dio, Feli you can’t just stop like that! I slammed into you!”
A guilty look flashed on his face. “I’m sorry, please don’t be mad!” But Lovino didn’t look mad at all. Maybe a little annoyed, but mad? No. And Feliciano knew this, a mutual understanding. So as quickly as he looked upset a smile spread across Feliciano’s face, pointing towards the door with even more eagerness. “Lovi! Look, we can go outside!”
He tugged his older sibling towards the glass door. And Feliciano was right, it did lead outside. But not anywhere cool, just to a small balcony that probably looked out at pretty gardens and statues, just like their house. But at the same time...the German castle had been a lot different than the one the boys were used to in Italy.
Carefully, Lovino took the curved handle in his grip and turned it. The sun sending a warm wave over his body as soon as the door was opened. It felt refreshing, instead of the stifled air trapped in the rooms of the building. He stepped outside and took a deep breath, a small smile on his face.
The warmth of the sun was quickly replaced with a harsh cold blow of the wind. Making him let go of Feliciano’s hand in favor of wrapping his arms around his stomach. Holding tightly to warm himself up. He followed his brother to the edge of the balcony, putting his arms on the stone railing and leaning on it slightly. Looking forward to see if the sight would be worth staying outside in the cold to watch.
Honestly the view that he was met with was breath taking. It wasn’t fully a garden they were staring at, no. It was a large empty field, with some areas having large patches of grass while others were floored with sand. There were trees that lined it, with flower bushes at the base of them, adding color to area. Small paths were made in-between the plants for someone to take a stroll if they so pleased. Lovino thought it was beautiful. Maybe he would be able to walk those paths. To get a better view of the flowers. He loved looking at life, especially in such delicate objects like plants. Watching them sprout from a seed to a bright flower everyone thought was pretty and loved. Only to dull and wither with time. Even with all the water and sunlight given to it. It was so fascinating and all so alluring.
But what really caught his attention were the groups of men in different areas. They were all yelling in German, so Lovino couldn’t tell what was being said. They all looked so stiff, each group doing their own thing. Some were using weapons, such as swords and bow and arrows. While others were seemingly warming up, or even punching and kicking the air.
It all looked so dumb to Lovino. Yet he couldn’t seem to look away.
“Hey! Was machst du? (Hey! What are you doing?)”
A voice called out, making the Italian jump. Pulling him away from his thoughts. The voice had been too high pitched to be an adult. But he was pretty sure he and his brother were the only kids here. So who and most importantly where did the voice come from.
“Ignorierst du mich? (Are you ignoring me?)”
Lovino scrunched his face up in confusion and finally looked down. Meeting the eyes of a young boy, probably around his age. Never once had there been a mention of another kid in the castle. Only the princess, but he had assumed that he wouldn’t be seeing her.
The boy had his hands on his hips. Looking up at Lovino through squinted eyes, with an almost angry look. He was wearing the same clothes the other men were wearing, almost. His were more battered up and dirtied. However it was clear he was with the strange men.
He looked so strange...his hair was so blond it looked white. Or maybe it was just white! It was confusing, he was too young to have grey hair! And it looked like his eyes were a reddish color, Lovino was pretty sure that wasn’t natural. At least not in Italy. He stood out, that's for sure.
“I don’t speak German” He finally yelled down, unsure if the boy would even know what he was saying.
It took a second, but eventually the boys features relaxed. “You’re not from here! I can tell.” Despite his childish voice he had a rather thick accent when speaking English. It was strange to see that voice come out of him.
Lovino scoffed, ending it with a huff. “Why? Because I don’t speak German?”
He shook his head, smirking when he was done. “Nein! Because you’re watching us! Nobody watches us up there other than the king!”
“Us? But you aren’t doing anything.”
At that the boy looked offended. Putting one of his hands on his chest, recoiling his head at the same time. “I am! I’m just taking a break.”
The Italian didn’t reply, he just raised a questioning eyebrow. Earning an annoyed groan from the German.
“I’m so awesome that I’m ahead of where I’m supposed to be! So they let me have breaks, unlike all these losers!” He pointed a thumb back at everyone else who were still working behind him.
Lovino put his head in one of his hands, listening with amusement. “But you’re so young! And they’re all old!”
The German shrugged with annoyance. “So? I can still do everything that they’re doing, that is how awesome I am!”
“What are you guys even doing?”
At that the white haired boy lit up. Raising a hand up in the air, like he was holding a sword. The pose probably looked cooler in his head than it did in real life. “Training!”
“Training?”
“Ja, training! Can you not tell?”
The brunette took in a heavy breath, looking back at the groups of men. It made more sense now that he knew what was happening. “No, I don’t watch the knights at home.”
“I knew it!” The German boy brought his arm down in a fist. “Isn’t that awesome, I could tell you weren’t from here just by looking at you! You don’t look German at all!”
Lovino scrunched his face up, taken aback by the sudden reaction. “You don’t have to be a jerk about it! I don’t want to be here anyways!”
“I’m not ‘being a jerk’ I’m just telling you how awesome I am! Why are you here anyways if you don’t want to be here?”
The Italian shrugged with attitude at the questions. The conversation hadn’t gone on for very long and Lovino could already tell this kid irritated him. “My papà, he’s talking to the king and queen! Trying to figure out something for Italy…I don’t know..”
The German boy scrunched his eyebrows together, narrowing his eyes as Lovino spoke. “Your dad is…?”
“Roma..? My papà is the king back in Italy.”
“Scheiße!” The boy’s eyes widened in terror. Stiffening his body, arms firmly pressed to his sides. With an attempted neutral expression he lowered his upper body, bowing before Lovino. “I didn’t know you were a prince!”
A strangled gasp escaped Lovino. His own eyes widening as he stood up straight. Looking down at the German with an uncomfortable expression. No one usally bowed for him, and when they did it wasn’t as awkward or panicked like this. “You really don’t have to do that-“
“-Forgive me for my previous remarks, I hope it does not influence how you see the German royal family!” Even his way of talking was getting more formal!
“Its fine! Cavolo…stand up Per favore!”
Hesitantly the German listened, bringing his head up to look at Lovino first before standing straight again. He kept his body stiff and at attention still. Almost as if he didn’t believe it was really fine. And he would get in trouble for listening to the young prince before him.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me that sooner!” His voice was stern, with less cockiness in it now.
Lovino looked confused, raising his hands up to gesture ‘I don't know’ before letting them fall. “What do you mean? Tell you what, that my dad’s a king?”
The German looked at him like the answer was obviously yes. “Ja! That you’re a prince, I wouldn’t have acted so casual if I knew!”
“Well I didn't think it was that important! I don’t go around telling everyone that! Do you go around telling people you’re a knight?”
The pride in the Germans voice came back, even his face shifted to one of arrogance for a brief second. “I do actually! I’m one of the youngest, isn’t that awesome of me?”
Before the brunette could reply another voice interrupted him, startling him with a loud high pitched gasp. The noise made the German bite his lip to cover up the snickers he let out, only stopping when he noticed the glare Lovino was giving him.
“You aren’t a knight Gilbert.”
Lovino turned around, the person who had interrupted them was the man who had shown him and Feliciano their room. He felt his stomach drop, they had been caught. After he promised they wouldn’t!
“Hey! I’m better than everyone else...I might as well be anyways.” The boy - Gilbert - spoke up, looking embarrassed to be called out.
“And you, Prince Lovino-“ It was the Italians turn to look embarrassed. “-aren’t supposed to be out here.”
With an eyeroll he spoke up. “Mi dispiace! (I am sorry!) We we’re bored, you couldn’t have expected us not to be in a room like that! And there was still time before dinner!” He gestured towards Feliciano, hoping it would help take some of the blame off him. Except...when Lovino turned his head Feliciano wasn’t there anymore. His eyes widened as he spun in a circle, trying to find where on the balcony his brother could have gone. But to his despair, Feli was gone.
He let out a noise of frustration and stomped his foot, but his face didn’t match his display. Lovino looked worried, concerned even. He slammed a hand onto the balconies ledge, pointing an accusatory hand at Gilbert. “Where did my brother go you jerk!?”
He looked shocked with a bit of irritation in it and pointed at himself. “Why would I know?!”
“Because you were looking at us! You came up to us and started talking. You would’ve seen when he left!”
Gilbert simply shook his head, crossing his arms as he did. “Nein actually! It was just you when I even noticed you staring at us!”
Lovino ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Had he really been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Feliciano run away? When had it happened? How long has he been gone? Not only had Lovino convinced Feli to leave the room and break the rules, but now he was missing! His dad was going to be so pissed off! Already, Lovino could feel the dread of being yelled at.
He looked desperately at the German worker, hoping he would be the saving grace to his brothers disappearance. “My brother! You know where he is right?”
The small hope he tried to hold quickly disappeared as the man shook his head, responding with a simple “No.”
Well, he had attempted to say more but Lovino impulsively ran past him. The only thing on his mind now was finding his brother. He had no time to sit and talk! At least that’s what he told himself. When he got back into the castle he looked around frantically before picking a random direction and sprinting. Calling for Feliciano a few seconds apart. Hoping the silence would be filled with a response. Praying that he hadn’t gotten lost, or worse. Already found. He wouldn’t be able to stand the guilt of getting his brother in trouble for the sake of filling a few hours with his own amusement.
It would be worse if he was with their father. Things would get twisted so easily and all the blame would fall on Lovino. Maybe it really was all his fault. How had he gotten so in his head that his brother wasn’t even a thought, like he wasn’t there at all!
Lovino had been lost in the castle before, just a few minutes ago him and Feli were trapped in the halls. But they hadn’t been trying to find anything other than something to do. Now Lovino knew, when trying to actually find something it made every room feel like a labyrinth. Each unanswered call left a bittering taste in his mouth. The name starting to sound more like a curse then his baby brother who was nothing but an angel. God, this place was horrible! Why did people choose to live here!?
He ran down a flight of stairs, into a small area that lead outside. The same place where all the German knights were training. Lovino looked around at the people, desperately searching for a kid with brownish red hair and slightly tanned skin. But all he saw was a bunch tall blond haired, pale jerks (probably)! If Feliciano were here it would be obvious.
Lovino’s panic started to rise as he stood there, not moving.
He was supposed to take care of Feliciano, he promised! Oh God, he was the worst. No wonder Roma hated him so much. He was incapable of doing anything! He couldn’t keep his eyes on Feli, he got too into his head, and now he was lost! This wouldn’t have happened if they were in Italy. Why did they come to this stupid country? Why did they leave the room? Lovino’s eyes started to burn as helpless tears pooled into his eyes. His mind racing with the worst possibilities as his body lightly shook.
A hand placed itself on his shoulder lightly, startling him and making his head snap to the side. Part of him was hoping it would be his dad. And that he could hug his leg and cry into it while he was reassured that everything was okay. That Feliciano would be found safely, and it wasn’t his fault the boy had gotten lost. But instead he was met with the white haired, red eyed German who he had been talking to earlier. Gilbert, the same boy who had been the reason he was in this mess in the first place!
Lovino used his forearm to wipe his eyes, glaring at the boy who was taller then he had expected. “What do you want!?” He shouted.
A little taken aback, Gilbert took his hand off Lovino’s shoulder, crossing his arms instead. “Why are you so upset? I’m trying to help you!”
“Why would you help me!?”
Gilbert took a deep breath, it was clear the Italian was frazzled, but he didn’t need to be yelling so harshly. “I have a brother too, If he went missing under my watch I’d be freaking out-“
The brunette cut him off with a loud gasp. He stomped his foot on the ground and shook his head aggressively. A tantrum no one should have to watch a prince throw. “You’re making it worse idiot! I know I lost him under my watch, why would you remind me of that!” He turned on his heel and tried to walk away, anywhere really. But Gilbert didn’t hesitate to follow him.
“Okay fine, bad choice of words! But my point is still the same! I want to help, it’s my job! And I’m still on a break!”
“But you aren’t a knight! This isn’t your job!” Lovino spoke with bitterness. “I’d rather ask one of them for help before going to you!”
A scoff was the response he was given. Which was soon followed by actual words. “What did I even do?!”
“You were the reason I lost him! I was talking to you and not paying attention to him. So no, I don’t want your help!”
“He wasn’t there when I saw you though! He left before!”
“Stai zitto!”
“What?”
“Shut up!!”
As he walked to get away from Gilbert he saw a small barn he hadn’t noticed before, one that was in its own little area with only a few men standing by it. They were holding the reins of horses who were being walked in and out, some men were fitting what looked to be armor on horses, while others simply stood around.
Feliciano liked animals. And this was the only lead that Lovino had. So he changed his mindless path to walk towards the barn with purpose. Ignoring whatever Gilbert was yelling behind him. Hoping and more importantly praying that his brother would be there.
The closer he got the more questioning looks he received from the workers by it. But no one bothered to actually say anything to him, they probably knew who he was. That or they saw Gilbert following him and figured that the young German boy had everything under control.
Lovino stopped in-between the large doors of the building, Observing as the white haired jerk raced to stand next to him. Why was he so adamant on helping him? Maybe if the conversation hadn’t been ruined they would be on friendlier terms. THEN Lovino could understand why he was helping. But that wasn’t the case at all. The Italian ruined what was nice out of panic.
Gilbert raised his hand, pointing to a corner where two kids were happily chatting. Well, one was talking. The other just smiled and nodded as he listened. He had blond hair, he was wearing the same thing Gilbert had on. In fact, he sort of looked like him. Just younger and more awkward, unsure of how to stand or talk to the other person. Who looked exactly like...
“Is that your brother?” The German asked.
And as if God himself answered Lovino’s countless prayers, it was his brother! A wave of relief washed over him upon seeing his brothers smiling cheerful face. His body reacted quicker than his mind, and he couldn’t stop himself from running over to Feliciano and wrapping him in a tight hug. “Feli! Sono così felice che tu stia bene! Perché sei scappato? Perché non hai detto niente!? Non fare così, idiota! (Feli! I'm so glad you're okay! Why did you run away? Why didn't you say anything!? Don't be like that, you idiot!)”
Feliciano stumbled backwards from the impact of the hug, blinking a few times as he processed what had suddenly ran at him. It wasn’t until Lovino pulled him to arms length did his brain register what had been yelled. “Lovi, va tutto bene! (Everything is fine!) I promise! You had stopped talking and looked really happy, so I didn’t want to ruin it for you! I just saw the yard and really wanted to be down there! But I got lost, I totally didn’t know where I was going...but that’s okay! I managed to find the stairs that came out here, and then I saw the horsies! So I had to come pet them, but I was told not to...that made me sad, and Ludwig helped cheer me up! See? It’s okay Lovi, I told you!” Feliciano talked like if he stopped he wouldn’t be given the chance to talk again. Which was fair, Lovino wasn’t happy with him.
“You can’t just run off on your own! Papà will get mad! I thought you were gone forever, jerk!”
The younger Italian frowned, clearly upset that his brother was reacting the way he was. Even after what he told him. But Feliciano didn’t protest, he listened and nodded along.
“I told you I would help you find your brother!” Gilberts voice cut in obnoxiously. “And I did! I’m going to make an awesome knight!”
Lovino turned his head harshly, shooting an annoyed gaze at Gilbert. He seemed to be doing that a lot today. He let go of Feliciano to march over to the German with his hands balled up at his sides. When he reached the boy he shoved a finger towards him, poking his chest. Enjoying the way Gilberts smile faltered. “You didn’t do anything! You followed me over here just to be annoying! I would’ve found him with or without you!”
Gilbert put a hand up to cover where he was being poked agressivly, the force of it genuinely hurting him. “Hey! I totally helped, I pointed him out did I not?”
“I’m not blind!” Lovino let out an angry huff and threw his arm down. Storming back to Feliciano and grabbing his hand to start walking away. But his brother didn’t move.
“Oh, fratello! I want to stay and talk with Ludwig! Please!!”
Lovino turned to look at him, giving a questioning glance before looking over at the blond haired boy next to him. Right, he had almost forgotten he was there in his anger. As much as he wanted to give into Feliciano’s request, today had turned terrible! He just wanted to take his brother back to their room and wait like they had been told.
“No. I’m taking us back to the room...if I can even find it!”
“Do you need help? Me and my brother practically know every room in the castle, awesome I know!” Gilbert waltzed over and wrapped an arm around Ludwig, who let out an annoyed sigh. But wrapped his own arm around Gilberts waist. Clearly not as annoyed as he was letting on.
Lovino was almost happy Gilbert said something dumb and arrogant. It meant he didn’t have to look at Feliciano’s sad, pleading face. “I don’t want your help! I can find it myself, just like I found my brother! Now go away!”
He tightened his grip on Felicianos hand and started to walk away again. This time his brother followed him. Lovino kept his gaze fixed forward even as he heard Feli cry out a bye to the two Germans they were leaving behind. It made Lovino feel bad. He didn’t mean to upset his brother, but he needed to get away from this stupid barn. The last few days had been rough, but it was just leading up to how horrible today was! A whole carriage ride just to be forced inside one room, one that totally sucked. Who thought putting kids in a bland room was a good idea!? If they had properly been taken care of and given what kids needed...then all of today, this whole mess wouldn’t have happened.
As they walked out of the barn Lovino noticed the sky had started to turn to colors of pinks and yellows, a sign that the sun was setting. The warmish weather had begun to turn to nothing but cold as the minutes they spent outside, walking back to he castle went on. It meant that dinner was going to be done soon, and they needed to get back inside quickly before the king and queen found them. Or worse, his dad.
Hopefully the butler guy wouldn’t say anything to them...
Lovino dreaded the idea of being told on by a grown man, it filled him with a mixture of worry and a lingering anxiety. He hated the pain in his chest that it left, it was suffocating. He swallowed hard, Forcing all he was feeling into one simple emotion. Annoyance. Because...well...this whole situation was annoying! He wanted to go back to Italy so badly. To leave Germany and never look back! His feelings, or his one forced feeling. Only grew as he struggled to find the room they were staying in. Opening random doors in hopes that it would be found, what else was he supposed to do? He had already refused help and would not go looking for it now!
Eventually that tactic worked. As he opened one of the many doors a wave of relief washed over him as he saw familiar luggage neatly put down at the end of two beds. Lovino walked in, letting go of Feliciano’s hand so he could follow him in after. And with all the anger he could muster, Lovino slammed the door shut.