Chapter Text
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The sky was pink.
Erwin smiled at it. It was a yellow blue when he had stepped into the chess club, Levi's kiss still warm on his cheek before he got his ass handed to him by Armin. He walked through the market, picking up a long loaf of bread, apparently belonging to Frankreich, which was a new trade partner with Hizuru.
"Baguette," said the young girl handing it to him.
"Baget," said Erwin, his Eldian accent clunking the more delicate syllables together. She shook her head, giggling and Erwin mouthed the syllables of the word carefully as he walked along, eyes tracing the pink orange horizon. Levi would know how to say it, he thought fondly, and more importantly he would like the round circles of bread the loaf would make with his tea.
"Darling I'm home," he said, toeing his shoes off. He lifted them by the lip, peering at the underside to see if any wet mud had caked under them. Levi was curled up on the loveseat, his head resting on the armchair. His mouth was slightly open, drool slipping through his lax mouth. Erwin smiled, reaching down to tuck his hair behind his ear.
"Sweetheart," he murmured, kissing his cheek. There were little wrinkles by Levi's eyes, hints of smile lines. He smiled so much more now. Erwin's heart felt like it could split open like overripe fruit. He pushed his thumb against Levi's mouth, brushing away the dried drool caked by the corner. "Darling, you won't sleep at night if you sleep now."
"Piss off," slurred Levi. His cheek nudged against Erwin's mouth greedily, and Erwin let himself fall onto his husband, swallowing the little oof Levi let out as he sank atop Levi's sleep soft body. His arms curled around Erwin's shoulders, hanging limply over them as he let himself be kissed, over and over and over again til his eyes started getting more alert.
Infinitely better than winning any games, thought Erwin as Levi nipped at his mouth gently, ending the kiss.
"How was chess?"
"Armin won," said Erwin, a little grumpy but Levi was soft like dough as he blinked up at him. His eyes were drowsy, mouth wet and lax as he peered up at Erwin. "He'll make Eldia proud. I can see him becoming a grandmaster."
"Mm," said Levi. He sighed softly. "How many more times do you have to get humiliated til you stop going there?"
Erwin smiled at the hidden plea in there. Don't leave me alone.
"I have a few more in me, but the end is nigh" said Erwin. He nodded to the groceries he had dropped in favour of waking his husband up. "Got a new type of bread in the market. It's a baget."
"Baguette, you oaf," muttered Levi, eyes sparkling.
"Yes well your tongue has always been more nimble," said Erwin, biting his upturned nose gently. Levi snorted a laugh, peering at it with the corner of his eyes.
"Mom will like it too," he said sleepily. His eyes brightened with challenge. "Kenny won't."
"And that's truly unfortunate," said Erwin, miffed at the mention of his uncle-in-law, "for what does it take to impress Kenny Ackerman indeed. Apart from Uri of course."
"Not you," said Levi crisply. Erwin bit at his smirking mouth til it softened into a smile. He held Erwin's face tenderly, reaching up to knock it gently with his forehead before settling down like a pleased cat.
Erwin closed his eyes, burying his face in Levi's warm neck. His hands stroked Erwin's back gently. For how dramatic their size difference was while standing, it evened out strangely well while they laid down. A yawn pulled at his jaw and Erwin pressed a tired, sticky kiss to Levi's neck.
"Don't sleep," whined Levi, "I want to try the bread before class."
Erwin laughed, poking his ribs. "Glutton."
Levi blinked up at him imperiously. Erwin pressed another kiss to his mouth before getting off his husband. The kitchen was spotless, and Erwin put the flowers in a tall glass that was overflowing with other flowers Erwin had previously gotten him. He sighed as he sat on the floor, his knees protesting. "Time is not on the side of my bones."
"Gonna die, old man?" asked Levi, amused.
"We are growing old, aren't we," asked Erwin rhetorically. He smiled as he cut the bread carefully, careful to make sure the crumbs caught in the thin wrapping. He got a rewarding, if slightly condescending pet to the head for his troubles. "What a privilege though, my dear, to see another day with you."
The hand in his hair stilled. A sob choked through his husband, rattling his frame.
Erwin frowned, twisting to stare at his husband. "Levi!"
There were tears pouring down his husband's face, but there were other things that caught Erwin's attention before that- the long scar running across his face, the milky white eye, the hand in his hair that suddenly felt like it was missing fingers.
Erwin reached to touch his face shocked and suddenly flinched back. The living room, the home Levi had meticulously made for them fizzled, like sand slipping through an hourglass. The endless abyss was staring at him, bright with stars. It was purple and blue, stars gleaming across the endless sky.
Erwin struggled to move in the sand. He was alone, all alone, nothing else but him in the desert- he had read about it in his books, the desert, how dark and dry it was but he was trapped in the sand, upto his waist, struggling to stand up.
A sob caught at his throat. He had died on the roof at Shiganshina as the 13th Commander of the Scout Regimen- or had died on his the floor of his home, grandmaster turned history professor? Only one man knew the answer to both and he wasn't there-
"Levi-"
He had both his arms…but in one life he didn't…and in another he had-? He flexed his fingers. A scar shimmered on his hand- but was it the scar Captain Levi gave him, when Farlan and Isabel died? Or was it the scar left behind when he had been distracted kissing Levi and held the knife from the wrong end on their first date?
Was he going to die a final time in the sand? Panicked, he twisted, trying to break free but the sand was all encompassing and it felt like it multiplied, weighing him down into the earth.
"Shh," came a soft female voice. Erwin stared up through his tears, his vision blurry. The woman was blond, her bangs swaying softly in the desert wind as she touched his forehead. "Don't wake up, sweet boy. It's the only comfort I can offer you."
Erwin blinked again and suddenly he was back in his house. He was lying on the couch. There was a dark haired woman gently tiptoeing with his groceries and flowers away.
"Kuchel?" he croaked, his voice scratchy. The blond woman, the desert abyss, the quicksand the endless stars suddenly seemed like a dream.
He glanced down at his hands. There was a solid gold band on his left ring finger. It had been there for ten years. A kitchen knife scar from when Levi's mouth was so shy and new against his, Erwin had grabbed a knife blade first from his hand.
"Didn't mean to wake you up, sweetie," she said smiling apologetically. Her eyes were just like Levi's, grey and angled. Erwin stared at them, feeling a latent sense of panic. "Just putting these away."
"Where's Levi?" he demanded.
Kuchel flinched. Erwin cringed a little at how loud his voice was but the panic on his face seemed to reassure his mother in law.
"He's teaching the kids boxing," said Kuchel gently. "It's Wednesday, remember?"
Wednesday. Boxing with Mikasa and Annie.
Of course, he thought, slowing his breathing down. Of course…
"Sorry for yelling," he said apologetically, jumping to his feet.
"Bad dream?" asked Kuchel sympathetically.
"Like you wouldn't believe," muttered Erwin, taking the groceries from her. He smiled at her, trying to come off as reassuring and not manic. "Got this new bread- apparently it's from Franchreich. Levi said you'd enjoy it."
"I have them too," said Kuchel, eyes far away. "Terrible, terrible dreams. How can a human being survive in the dark like that…it feels like my bones are melting and my baby is just watching me die."
"Kuchel?" asked Erwin warily.
Kuchel blinked.
"Terrible thing, the mind," she said, pithy smile on her face.
"Simply awful," agreed Erwin, placing his hand on her back to guide her to the table. "That's why we have bread."
Kuchel laughed. "Funny boy. Alright then, let's have this famous bread."
Erwin smiled, staring down at the loaf of bread in his hands before he reached for the knife again, pretending he didn't feel oddly grateful about having both his arms.
PR 1987, March ☾
Shiganshina District, Eldia.
Mikasa Ackerman was a small child. She was more hair than face, and more clothes than body, drowning in all of it as she sat in front of Levi and Kenny.
Pieck's arm was wrapped protectively around her shoulders as they'd walked her back to the quarters. People had whispered, hissed as they walked past. Kenny had glared, but it didn't do much except put a lag on their conversations- †hey started hissing the second the Ackermans and Pieck were out of the way.
"You don't have to be scared," said Pieck soothingly, rubbing her arm.
Mikasa's eyes were flitting around the studio. Her eyes lingered on the many Titan figurines, sculptures of Lady Ymir, engravings of old Eldian murals. Her eyes flitted to Levi's, grey meeting grey. They moved right past him, like water, even before Levi could even think of trying to smile for the scared little girl.
Kenny and himself, thought Levi awkwardly, were terrible for this job. Despite Levi's brief stint with being a woman, he felt mildly like he was staring at kiln that was about to blow up. Mikasa's fingers were twitching slightly, empty.
"What is that?" asked Kenny, brusque. "What is she doing with her hands?"
Before Pieck could reply, Mikasa glared up at Kenny through her dark lashes and bangs.
"I'm sitting here," she said. "You can ask me."
Kenny arched an eyebrow. "Okay, what are you doing then, princess?"
Mikasa blotched angrily at the nickname but lifted her little nose into the air, haughty. "Knitting. I packed away my needles in my big suitcase by mistake."
"That's good," said Levi, as Kenny groaned and started pleading with Pieck to take her to the seamstresses. "You like doing it?"
"My mom does it," said Mikasa.
There was an uncomfortable silence at the present tense. Mikasa caught on it.
"Used to," she said, a chilling amount of self awareness. Her voice didn't reflect it, wobbling despite her brave, stoic face. She stood up, small and swimming in her oversized clothes. Levi recognised the dress as a slightly older style- perhaps her mothers, something fancy she wore to come to her new family. He wondered absently if when he had come to Kenny, if they'd draped him in something that belonged to his mother. "Can I please see my room?"
The Daily Eldia
Titans of the Marleyan Empire vs Titans of the Wall Faith
Marco B., PR 1987, March ◐
It was the night of the waxing gibbous in January of 1987 PR when a gunman stormed a rowing facility in Karifa, killing two people and injuring eight. The man did not plead guilty, claiming that the deceased and the injured were Eldian Titan shifters, and their advanced height was proof of the Eldian eugenics back at play to bite back against the devastating trade deal signed with Marley the decade before. The deceased in question however, despite their advanced height, were MEAF and Hizuruan citizens. One of the deceased had an Eldian half grandparent. The threat of Eldia's Titans and the First Rumbling is so engrained within the psyche that there is still pushback to the few decade old prohibition blood type enquiry.
Children fear them. Adults write plays for them and continue to fear them. Some venerate them as demons. Titans as we know them are a class of prehistoric shapeshifting monsters that once killed almost all of humanity.
Or were they?
Modern Eldian churches stand to this claim, calling it a flagrant act of racism to imply that Titans were of Eldian blood only, or that they were even real. The Wall Faith believes in the Titans much like a parable of faith, of trust, akin to the Judeo-Christian Marleyan myth of David vs Goliath- the entire Marleyan empire, filled to the brim with Eldian child soldiers, who couldn't take over the tiny island sometimes known as Paradis.
"If you look at the descriptions of Titans," said a priest, choosing to stay unnamed, "they represent a spectrum of the human condition. The Armoured. The Behemoth, the Colossal. The Beast. When you see how they're represented, you can tell they represent a variety of vices. The Walls existed to protect the believers from them, and to protect the outside world from the harm caused by them."
When questioned what spectrum the Female Titan would represent, the priest shrugged and chose not to comment.
It has only been a decade since the world population has reached half of the population it was at the time of the Rumbling. The Wall Faith has been dedicated in trying to push the image of a Rumbling not infact led by 5 to 50 meter tall monsters but instead of technological advances and internal strife that lead to the loss of nearly 80% of human life.
"Eldia was misunderstood by the old Marleyan empire," said the priest. "Eldia remains the only island to harbour vast resources of iceburst and was in certain areas, much more ahead in terms of technology than Marley had anticipated. Marley and the rest of the world was still mining for crude oil, unable to soar the skies without copious damage to the natural environment when soldiers in Eldia were using jetpacks made of iceburst stone and no external knowledge."
The Wallists of Eldia, much unlike the faiths found in the mainlands of the Marleyan Empire seemed to believe that a story was about its message and not about the independant character. Apart from the Lady Ymir who they all worshipped, everything was merely a metaphor meant to convey a larger message common to the dour, sincere folk of Eldia.
To Marley, the Rumbling still remains a threat, almost two thousand years later. Eldian candidates have only stopped being checked for heightened electric conductivity upon forced injury a few decades ago. Higher government positions still require all candidates to submit blood reports checking for Eldian heritage.
The Rumbling to Eldia is merely a fable set to the backdrop of a geopolitical war that decimated most of the world. Children in Eldia are named fondly after keynote figures from the myths. It wouldn't be uncommon for one to step into the quaint island and hear of a dozen of Armin's or Connie's- or a hundred little Mikasa's, the most common name on the island for a good two millenia.
All names, except perhaps a singular one. Speaking of him was almost tantamount to public terror in Marley and some areas in Hizuru.
When asked to condemn Eren Yeager, the priest hesitated.
"The loss of life is condemnable by any and all faiths," said the priest. "The Wall Faith isn't in defiance to this either. Eren Yeager was brought down by Armin Arlert the First, a commendable act by a formidable man who then went on to preach Eldian innocence to the world."
But? enquired the interviewer.
"Eren Yeager was merely the instrument of the Lady Ymir," said the priest.
The Lady Ymir of the Wall Faith, who was deceased two thousand years before the Rumbling had even occured?
The priest spread his hands. "Armin the First never expounded on the true nature of his conversation with Zeke Yeager. However, it is specified that Eren Yeager understood something about Her that Zeke simply could not. Two brothers, held on a choice between death and not being alive and Death won. Could you make that choice? The choice between having your existence ended or not having existed at all?"
The Wallists regard death as a natural concept- all living things must die eventually and thus, the Rumbling, conceptual as it was, was the end to something that existed, in contrast to the truer horror of what Zeke Yeager's intention was- to end the Eldian bloodline with infertility. The Wall priests call it the difference between a snuffed out candle and an unlit candle. Both, not on fire, but only one undergoes transformation.
Zeke Yeager did not see his vision come to fruition- the last man he had a conversation with, Armin Arlert did not seem to regard genocide or sterilisation in any high steed. Instead, Post Rumbling, Armin Arlert married and proceeded to have children with Marleyan defector Annie Leonhart who then spread the globe far and wide, travelling to Franchreich, the Deutsches Reich, the Middle East Allied Forces, the Hind and several other places. They live private lives, choosing not to comment on the existence of Titans, their personal convictions on the Wall Faith or the umbrella of protection that Eldia enjoys with Marley. Within the walls of the Eldian court, there exists a fine line of discontent between the fanatic faith in the Walls and the work carried out by the scientific unit sponsored by the Nations for Peace Federation, sponsored predominantly by the Marleyan Empire and the Middle East Allied Forces (MEAF).
To read more about Dr. Hange Zoe's work and the proof of the Rumbling, go to page 3.
The Daily Eldia,
OPINIONS:
ACKERMAN FAMILY TAKES IN ORPHANED NIECE— Continuation of the Ackerman artist dynasty?
Pg15
MIKASA ACKERMAN— Top Ten Names to NOT name your daughter, two thousand years post Rumbling
Pg11
The Hunt for Brutal Murderer from Shiganshina Outskirts failed— daughter of victims unable to recognise any sketch by the Royal Police.
Pg7
.
.
.
.
Princess Historia and Queen Frieda stun at Common Earth Ball, Mitras— Should Eldia pull out of Common Earth Deal with Hizuru and Odiha?
The Falling Marley Empire— Rise in Anti-Eldian sentiment expected after reduced trade after opening of new shipping route bypassing Marley?
PR 1987, May ◯
Shiganshina District, Eldia.
"This sounds fucking annoying," muttered Levi, fixing the respirator over his head. It buzzed with his breath, and there was an infuriating moment on every exhale where he could feel the warmth of his own breath push back against his already sweaty face. "Why can't I just put the cloth on my face like I usually do?"
"Cause you look stupid," said Mikasa sagely. Levi batted at her, still glaring up at Kenny. She rolled over absently on the floor, perching her chin on the flat of her palm. "He's right though. It's not like we're in the studio daily to get silicosis. We're more likely to die of hunger than of collapsed lungs."
"The two of you brats want to take that risk?" wheezed Kenny angrily. "It's from the royals, stop cribbing. And don't say that, you eat well."
"Eat well?" scoffed Mikasa, sitting up indignantly. "Scraps, almost rotten food-"
Kenny sneered. "Oh, is the princess not accustomed to-"
"Enough," said Levi flatly. Kenny scowled as Mikasa glared at him. "Can the royal family stop giving us masks and instead some work."
"We'll get a big order in a few months for lamps and animals, maybe a few Titans for the fair. It's good livin'," grunted Kenny. "Bein' ungrateful ain't getting you more work, is it?"
"Good livin'," mocked Mikasa sarcastically, tossing her hair over her shoulder. Kenny opened his mouth but she rolled over swiftly, stomping her way out of the room.
"You weren't half as much of a cunt growing up," muttered Kenny. He slid down the wall, his hat going askew as he peered at Levi.
"Give her some time," said Levi, staring at the ceiling. The dust motes in the studio were always more defined, the particles in the air thicker and more vibrant. Some days glitter from the paints would beam little rainbows into the flooring. "It's barely been a month."
"You're not gonna win some Best Uncle award, shortstack," said Kenny. He paused, looking a little uncomfortable. "They feeding her scraps?"
"She doesn't eat when they call for dinner," said Levi. "She goes after, when everyone is gone."
"Why?"
Levi shrugged. They all had their oddities. The Ackermans, he thought resentfully, was less of a family and more of a title for the royal family's little collection of oddballs.
Kenny sighed and titled his head towards where Mikasa had stormed off. Levi closed his eyes for a second, drawing on his own patience. He pictured his house, quiet and green, waves lapping at the distant stone, a specific shade of blue as the afternoon sun started climbing down the horizon.
He stood up, dusting his pants as he walked towards the alcove outside their studio. The area outside the staircase gleamed bright gold, enhanced by the yellow of the circular stained glass above. Mikasa was sat in the hollow, legs stretched out, silent tears brimming over her huge dark eyes as she quietly clicked her needles together, putting together what looked like a very misshapen leg.
It seemed deliberately ugly. Levi had seen her other crocheted dolls- he was privately very touched by the one she had made of him immediately after making her little ones of her parents.
"Who is that?"
"'s Kenny," she sniffled. Fighting back a laugh, Levi sat down next to her. Mikasa leaned her head against his shoulder.
"I wanna go home," she whispered. Levi bit his lip, staring at the 4 individual, ugly toes she'd decided to give Kenny.
"There's no one at home," whispered back Levi. It was a strange feeling, trying to comfort Mikasa about a home he never knew existed. They never told the full story to Levi, but he heard it from the news, from whatever people hissed at them, from what was first told by the Pieck when it happened and described it to Kenny- family murdered, the 11 year old Mikasa found shell shocked outside it by a doctor who was passing by a different house, traffickers-
It seemed kinder than to say "There is no home."
Not to Mikasa. Her lip trembled, uncharacteristic, miserable. "I should- I should go home and stop- stop bothering Kenny and y-"
Her word broke in half as she cracked, sobbing as Levi rubbed her back. Levi kissed the crown of her head, letting her crawl into his lap clumsily.
"I'm sorry," she cried, wet and sticky against Levi's collarbone. "I heard Kenny- I don't want to be- a cunt-"
"Kenny is the cunt," promised Levi. He prodded at her little doll. "You should give him two toes on the next foot."
Mikasa laughed wetly, still shaking in his arms. She seemed weak and Levi tutted, grabbing her thin wrist in his hand.
"You can't keep eating the shit that the cooks are going to throw out," scolded Levi, rocking her a little. "That's why you're tired and sad."
Mikasa shook her head. The light from the marble staircase reflected back on her jet black hair like an oil spill, like if Levi tilted her head back, it would make rainbows.
"Why don't you eat with the other kids?" asked Levi, trying to be gentle. It was hard, he thought crossly, considering he was raised by Kenny, but Mikasa did not seem more distressed by his questions.
"Everyone there has a family," mumbled Mikasa. "Everyone has their family or their mentor come get them after dinner and I don't know anyone and I don't want to tell anyone-"
"What do you think we are, idiot," scolded Levi.
Mikasa glanced up at him. Levi tutted, smoothing down her hair that had gotten agitated by her sitting against the rough stone wall.
"You don't have to tell the other kids anything," said Levi. "I never told them either."
"But how do you make friends?"
Levi shrugged. "Didn't really want friends."
Mikasa's lip quivered again. "But I do."
Levi sighed. Mikasa made another soft sound, like a wounded bird and Levi tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Tell you what, I'll come get you during mealtimes," said Levi. "And you can be my friend. Okay?"
Mikasa glowed. "Your friend?"
"Yes."
"Your first friend?"
Levi privately made a note not to tell Hange about it. "Yeah kid, why not."
"That's so embarrassing," giggled Mikasa. "You're so old and you've never had friends?"
Levi pulled away threateningly. "I can go back to having none."
"No!" squealed Mikasa, still giggling. Levi liked it when she sounded like a child- she was an unnervingly composed and stiff for the most part. "Okay, we're friends."
Levi nodded decisively. He helped her up, bending to fix her skirt. It touched the tip of her knee, shorter, he suspected, than when she had first bought it.
"You know what kid, I think you'll grow taller than me," said Levi.
"That doesn't sound very hard," admitted Mikasa, giggling again when Levi glared at her. She reached for his hand, clasping it tightly as she gathered her doll and her needles again to make their way back to the studio. Levi let her climb up onto the ledge before fixing her respirator mask on her face.
"We'll try doing loops today," said Levi, handing her a chisel and hammer along with a piece of limestone. He quickly sketched some intersecting loops. He watched her eyes narrow behind the giant mask, carefully hammering away. She was precise but slow, but Levi did not mention it as her mask steamed with the leftover tears on her face.
He set up his own station for carving out trinkets for the festival. The palace commissioned their work quite a while before the fair, and the fair was just a way for them to earn a little money on the side. It was quiet repetitive work, and him and Mikasa fell into a rhythmic routine, Mikasa's little chuffs of laughter brightening the studio when one of them went out of beat.
"Do you really think the Titans existed?" asked Mikasa curiously as Levi carved out a groove between the eyes. It looked fearsome, like it was rising out of the block of limestone.
"It doesn't matter what we believe in," said Levi.
"Would be funny if they did," said Mikasa. "That would mean the Wall Order is lyi-"
Levi arched his eyebrow at her. Mikasa stopped talking and pretended to zip her mouth shut.
"Tell you what," said Levi lightly. "We can go to my house sometime."
Mikasa sat up excitedly, talk of the Walls lost. "Your house?"
"Yeah," said Levi. "The patronage gives you an estate after 3 years."
"An es-state," said Mikasa dreamily. "What kind of es-state-"
Levi crinkled his nose at the way she broke the word. Mikasa grinned and immediately swung her legs, chanting es-state, es-state, es-state as Levi started hammering at his Titan a little harder.
What kind of estate, he wondered before snorting to himself. Whatever land is unusable. The house he had, in the middle of nowhere was by a stream that burbled out into an estuary. The nearest district was Karanese, at about fifteen miles of distance. The land was protected by its large, old trees, unsuitable for farming or development. Kenny's house was closer to the capital city, more modern, more expensive, if he deigned to sell it off. He had scoffed incredulously as Levi signed off on the plot of land in the forest.
Levi didn't care. He liked his house in the woods, he liked taking his time away from Kenny, the studio, the dust, the clink-clink-clink of the chisel to go patch his house. To cook the meats and vegetables he bought from outside the castle. To spice it more than the royal chefs did, til his eyes were watering. To go stare at the blue, blue sea, waiting for it to turn that specific shade that no amount of lapis lazuli could recreate.
"Levi," said Mikasa, snapping her fingers.
"That's rude, brat," said Levi catching her hand. She scoffed at him, swinging her legs as she lifted her stone to show clean, neat loops. "Good work. You're gonna have speed up though, if carving in 2 dimensions is taking you so long, it'll be harder when you have to chisel sculptures like this."
The dinner bell rang. Mikasa froze, before very stiffly fixing her skirt. Levi finished putting a final groove by the Titan's eyes, letting her adjust herself.
"What sort of Titan is that?" asked Mikasa, a forced casualness in her voice.
"Just one of the Colossals," said Levi dismissively as he walked over to the tap, washing his hands off the dust and grime. He pulled off his respirator, before turning to glance at Mikasa. "Come along now."
Mikasa didn't say anything but her eyes glowed as she grabbed his hand a little too tightly.
"I'll come get you when you're done, okay?" said Levi quietly as they made their way to the table where the apprentices were loudly making a ruckus. "You don't have to make any friends. Just eat well."
Mikasa nodded, eyes set like she was about to go into battle.
"I'm over there," said Levi, pointing at the table farther away where the tenured artists were sat. "You can signal to me when you're done, okay?"
Mikasa nodded again before swiftly hugging him. Her small head bumped under his chin, rather painfully, but Levi patted her back before she determinedly went to stand in the line for food. The other kids quietened for a second as she marched over, tall and silent but the chatter picked back up eventually. Her shoulders relaxed and she glanced across at Levi.
Levi nodded at her once before making his way to the much more annoying, drunk table of artisans, and philosophers. He arched an eyebrow at the new face that Hange was screaming at.
"-but it doesn't make sense, does it," demanded Hange, half splayed across the table. "What the hell kind of allegory is a Titan?"
Pastor Nick sniffed self righteously. "It's an allegory of struggle. The walls are constructs of the mind that the royal family has proven to rise above through our faith in our Lady Ymir-"
Hange scoffed. "Oh okay and 80% of humanity getting crushed is an allegory of what precisely?"
"It isn't literally crushed-"
Hange nearly flung themselves at Nick, barely held back by Moblit. "We're still finding bones to this date-"
"Focus on your dinner, Moblit," advised Levi, sitting down next to the man. "Why is the clergy with us today?"
"Fuck if I know," muttered Moblit, hooking his hand through Hange's elbow. He glanced at the kids table where Mikasa was eating stew with great dignity, back perfectly straight. Other kids seemed to marvel at her. A redheaded girl was looking ambitiously at her pile of chicken and potatoes. "Good to see Mikasa with the kids."
"Yeah well, you know us Ackermans," said Levi as Hange thrashed indignantly in Moblit's hold, shouting more facts about the Rumbling at Nick who seemed to get more and more sweaty under his collar. "Real people's people."
Hange stopped gesticulating wildly to peer at Levi.
"Oh hi there," they said, their voice bright and soft, completely at odds to the snarling growl they had while talking to the pastor. Nick seemed to appreciate this diversion as he hastily grabbed his tray and moved farther away to sit with the soldiers unit who did not seem to lunge at him on sight. "Oh Mikasa is here too!"
Moblit tugged at their arm and Hange slumped back at the table, grinning as Levi reached over to scrub at their arm with a paper towel. Moblit huffed self rigteously, pulling his arm away once he realised Hange wasn't going to try follow Nick to the other table to kill him.
"I don't know how many times I need to tell you this, Dr. Hange but you cannot keep jumping any member of the clergy as you see fit," said Moblit crossly.
Hange smirked at Levi. "Hear that? Dr. Hange. I'm in the doghouse today, Levi."
Moblit banged his head against the table.
"Take it up with Pieck, you won't be getting any sympathy from me," said Levi bluntly. Hange barked a laugh, petting Moblit like he was a stray dog. Much to Levi's disgust, Moblit seemed to enjoy that, peering at them sideways with barely concealed affection.
"Oh neither of them can stay too mad at me," said Hange cheerfully. "Oh that reminds me, Levi, you would enjoy what I have come up with. I was trying to carve down the core of one of the Old Wall fragments and the hand drill did not work, so Moblit and I have found a way to reprocess the iceburst stone to make a self powered drill."
"Sounds good," said Levi. "I'll come test it out."
Unlike Kenny or Mikasa, Hange did not need much prompting to talk. It was relaxing, as Levi nodded along to how Hange's previous alchemic experiments with iceburst stone had lead to them having a more stable byproduct that could conduct electricity more reliably without much incident. He glanced back at the table where Mikasa was smiling shyly at a blond boy, who seemed to be in awe of her.
Moblit caught his line of sight, placing his hand on Hange's. Hange huffed a great big sigh before seeming to realise they hadn't eaten in their fervour.
"She seems to be making friends," they said encouragingly. Levi wordlessly passed Moblit his sweet in exchange for Moblit's cup of green tea. "That's good, I was wondering when she'd come down. Is she excited for the festival?"
"I guess," said Levi. "She asked about the Titans earlier today. If they were real or not."
"Makes sense," said Moblit, shooting Hange a warning glare before they started their tirade again. "She grew up away from Mitras right? They don't really care farther down there. Small village gods, some New Age Religions coming up. The Wallists aren't really their problem."
"Duhsn' mat'r," said Hange, mouth full. Levi glared, pushing his palm against their mouth to shut it. Hange pouted, swallowing heavily.
"Doesn't matter," they started again. "They did exist."
Levi shrugged. It didn't matter to him, it never did really. They had old effigies and descriptions of walls, of Titans, of the Founding Titan and the Lady Ymir and of Eren Yeager. None of it mattered 2000 years in the future. There weren't any walls, except symbolic stumps of where they allegedly used to be and crumbled remenants that were marked as historic sites. There were footprints that were revered as proof. There were priests like Nick who believed that the Titans were more of a symbolic interpretation of the oppression of the Eldian empire. People bought the Ackerman's statues of the Titans as some sort of amulets and wards for their houses.
"Who does it affect," asked Levi. "I don't really care about who believes and who doesn't."
"I mean," piped Nifa from farther down the table. "You should, shouldn't you? Why would anyone buy your fuck ugly statues if they didn't believe?"
"Modern art," suggested Hange, sniggering as Nifa threatened to stab them across the table. Levi sipped at his tea, peering into the glass at the dregs of it when he caught Mikasa's little hand in the air, waving at him across the hall. He nodded, ruffling Hange's hair as he stood up.
"Don't be a pest to Pieck and Moblit," he said curtly.
"Can I be a pest to you, instead?" asked Hange flirtatously.
"You can maybe stop smelling like roast garlic potatoes before you try that next time," suggested Levi, before making his way to Mikasa. Mikasa was scuffing her shoe against the wall, trying to look aloof but her eyes were bright as she made her way to Levi.
"Bye Mikasa!" squeaked a small voice from the table. Levi glanced up to see the blond boy she was talking to waving enthusiastically at her. The table caught on and suddenly everyone was piping little goodbyes to Mikasa who glowed, waving at them like the little princess she was as she skipped by next to Levi.
"Did you have fun?" asked Levi, a little indulgent as Mikasa preened next to him.
"I made a friend," she confessed, eyes sparkling.
"The little blond brat?"
"Armin," she said, saying his name carefully. "He's apprenticing as a scribe."
"Well yes, I didn't think he was going to be one of the guard," teased Levi lightly. Mikasa punched him in the side, huffing as they made their way to the quarters. Kenny was shelling fruit, glancing up awkwardly as Mikasa froze at the door.
"We gettin' fruit now?" asked Levi, eyebrow arched.
"The hell does that mean," demanded Kenny. He reached for his flask, taking a hearty swig, grey eyes still fixed on Mikasa. "They grow on the damn trees, don't they?"
Mikasa nodded stiffly. "Thank you."
Kenny grunted. "Don't go to sleep on scraps, princess."
Mikasa stuck her tongue out at him before running up to the table and stealing a pale white fruit. She smacked a kiss against Kenny's cheek.
"Thank you," she said, before magnanimously adding, "I'll remove your toes."
Kenny sat up, alarmed. "Now what the hell does she-"
"Don't worry about it," said Levi, sitting on the chair opposite him. He smirked as Kenny resumed shelling fruit. "You gettin' sentimental at your age, oldman?"
Kenny threw a peel at his head that Levi caught, still smirking.
"Ackerman's gotta look out for each other," said Kenny, oddly stern, before he scratched the nape of his neck, sheepish. "Not used to…having a lil' girl again. Fuck. I was barely around when Kuchel grew up."
Levi stiffened. He didn't like the knowledge that Kenny had fucked off as an apprentice to the Royal family while his mother died in childbirth away from his grandparents home. It wasn't Kenny's fault- his mother had long left the house before Kenny had started earning patronage and had never disclosed that she was an Ackerman. It was only after her death that Kenny had found him, all of five years old and taken him in.
Shaking his head, Levi reached for the knife in Kenny's hand that had started shaking. There was no use dwelling in the past. His mother's remains were at peace, in a beautiful porcelain vase on the mantle of his house, soothed to rest by the tinkling brooke by the house.
"Go get some rest, old man," said Levi quietly. He could hear the waves splashing in his head, the crickets singing. "I'll get the fruit for both of you."
Kenny stared at him for a long second before standing up and retiring to his room. Levi let the candle in the room flicker, his mind faraway to his little house by the big ocean as he shelled the fruit in silence.
It was quiet. Levi was holding vigil, his eyes heavy. Of course, he thought angrily, of course now would be the time his insomnia also failed him.
"Levi," rasped the figure. "Come to bed, darling. I'm fine."
"You're not," said Levi curtly. "You're not, you're delirious- laughing at Titans being humans, trying to solve-"
"My arms feel empty," murmured the body. It huffed a laugh. "Arm, now, I suppose. I'll say Levi, losing my arm in reality was much faster but I cannot seem to let go of it in language. It clings to my speech in many ways. I guess the final loss of it will be my naturalisation to it in diction, don't you think?"
"Shut up," muttered Levi. "Go to sleep. Fix yourself, Commander, this is embarrassing."
"Commander," repeated the body lightly. "That's all you call me nowadays. Is that all we are now, my love?"
Levi swallowed heavily. "This is what you wanted."
"Mm," said the body. "Won't you let me be selfish as I die? Can I not pretend to have both the world and you right now?"
"You're not dying, you dumb fool," snarled Levi, ignoring the genuine lance of panic in his chest. "You're going to survive and you're going to win, do you understand?"
The body laughed. "Maybe I should name you Commander next. That was very rousing. Very well, beloved, I promise to survive the night, if-"
Levi scoffed. "Gambling here too, bastard?"
"But of course," said the body grandly. "I'll live every day of my life, if you just stopped calling me Commander and called me by my name. I might even live forever, Levi. My heart is after all beating for you, yes?"
Liar, he thought hatefully, hating that He had turned him into one too, that Levi could lie as easily about hating him as He did about loving him. Oh he was sure the body thought it loved Levi. That was the beauty of His lies. Even He believed them.
"Levi," whispered the body. "My love."
Fuck.
He leaned over the body, pulling the sheet down, ready to see his beautiful eyes, his beautiful body, his beautiful face. He knew what he looked like so well that he could not even remember what any of it looked like, just that when he woulds see him, he would know-
A scream left Levi.
He couldn't see the man under, there was nothing, not even bones, not even the bones that he had kept away, nothing, nothing, nothING, NOTHING, NOTH-
Levi jerked up, right as the scream from his dream got knotted in his larynx, stuck like a ball in his throat. The night was dark, not as dark as that room. It smelled like the pine cleaning liquid and not of antiseptic and rotting flesh.
He sank back against his bed, reaching for the crochet doll Mikasa had made for him before closing his eyes again. There was no point dwelling- after all there was nothing to dwell on. Levi let the hot drop of his tear drag across his skin, wondering absently, like he often had, why it was there at all.