Work Text:
You're moaning in your sleep again, "Lilly.. Lilly..." This time it's her name.
You pull your hand free from down your pants, staring at it in the dark. Half-asleep, your eyes adjust. It takes far too long to recognize your digits as slick. You didn't even know you could do that in your sleep, let alone how.
Over your bathroom sink, a water bottle is poured into a rag. You’re conscientious about washing up. Conserving water is a priority nowadays.
Once the bottle cap is on tight, and you're scrubbing your hand, your mind wanders. You doubt the walls are that thin. Your room neighbors Lilly's, and she definitely would have been acting differently around you by now. Maybe avoid you. Maybe confront you. You weren't sure which she would do or which you'd dread more.
Using your flashlight to check if you’re clean, you consider the possibility that maybe she's just asleep. Anyone would be at this hour. At least, when things were normal. Between the anxiety, poor sleeping conditions, and hunger, it's impossible to get decent sleep anymore.
But you still hope she’s asleep. You’d rather turn than wake her up. Especially doing what you were doing…
…
You need to stop thinking about that. Now. For your sanity. Mainly for your dignity.