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“Damn it…" You groan, observing the lifeless fan from your seated position on the bed in this room. The smell was starting to disgust you.
The black cloud around you didn't make things any easier. You didn't like letting your emotions overwhelm you at all. The summer of 1989 was particularly stifling, making your skin irritating and sticky due to the mix of your sweat and the little fresh air that remained in this room.
You quickly got up and headed toward the bathroom. As you turned on the faucet, you let the water flow, using one of your free hands to gage its temperature with your fingers. Lukewarm. Taking a deep breath and placing your hands in the shape of a spoon under the stream of water, the lukewarm water brushed against the palm of your hands. You put it on your face shortly after, which you had lowered to an appropriate height to avoid spilling the liquid everyplace.
You felt a pleasant sensation for a brief moment, from the second the water touched your skin until it quickly evaporated and left behind a sticky and frustrating feeling on it.
Calm down.
You spent ten minutes repeating the same thing to yourself, after leaving the cramped room that would serve as a bathroom for you and Robin for the next two days. The idea of sharing this bathroom and room with Robin suddenly gave you a headache. You choose not to let this negativity get you down.
From the corner of your eye, where you were lying on your back in your bed, you caught sight of your travel bag (the small one) on the small dining table, which was decorated with three chairs. The thot of sitting on one of them made you wrinkle your nose in disgust, but that wasn't the task you desired to accomplish. No, what you wanted to do was take the small plastic bag with the white powder that Eddie had given you before this trip. It was in that bag. Generally, you prioritized alcohol to soothe your nervous system and allow you to float like the bohemian you were. That's what Robin called you.
You head toward that bag, unzipping it which produces a muffled sound, the opening revealed the contents of that bag to you. You could see your silk panties scattered here and there, your sketchbook, your makeup bag, and your broken mini fan tucked away in a corner. This bag didn't contain all the items you wanted. Your other belongings were still in the RV that was parked precisely in this motel's parking lot.
Opening your makeup bag and taking out the small round box that holds the blush. There was no trace of solid powder inside anymore, no, instead, there was this little plastic bag, carefully folded into quarters. You grabbed it and unfolded it. You specifically chose the thin straw that was near your mascara, also in a plastic bag, a matter of hygiene.
Looking at the table, you hesitated, are you going to do it here, on this surface? The rejection was instantaneous, it was unthinkable that you would do it on this table without knowing its past. You took a card from your wallet, then headed toward the bed.
Positioned with the bag between your thighs and the card in hand, you delicately and thoughtfully grasp the already opened small bag. It's drugs, it's cocaine. Indeed, it wasn't the ideal solution, but you had gotten used to it. Eddie wasn't the first dealer you'd dealt with. There was nothing sad about this drug use, you simply enjoyed that feeling of euphoria and levitation that this substance gives you.
Yes, you are an artist. Indeed, you enjoyed manipulating acrylic, exploring textures, hues, and their narratives. You loved the fresh and worn paint that would end up on your clothes from the canvas. You appreciated the various creative methods that art, painting, and drawing had in common for many years. As a young woman full of life, brimming with energy and sparkling, there was a hidden inclination within you, a little secret.
Robin already knew about your preference for this drug. She keeps the secret. You had already suggested it to her with well-elaborated and positive arguments, but she insisted that the last substance she had tried had significantly affected her. Your friend did not reveal the details of this experience to you, she remained stable and preferred simplicity in the explanation. You sometimes considered the darkest possibility, how that moment from the past must have had such resonance to see her with eyes lost in unexpressed fear. You respected her, having understood the importance of words.
And you were doing that thing she refused to do, you had already done it since that trip that was already 5 days ago. It was your first nite at the motel. Robin and Dustin had headed to the bar located a few miles from the motel. The thing was that the girls there would never leave you.
You observed the fine and medium white powder scattered on this card. It wasn't complicated, you were used to it. Tilting your head, you inhale the contents of this powder with the straw between your fingers. It was irritating, it caused discomfort in your nostrils, but you persevered. Inhale the last particles while keeping your eyes closed.
The effect usually occurred within the next three minutes. So, you waited. You were lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling while breathing deeply, starting to savor what you had just realized. The fatigue caused by the headache began to dissipate and disappeared after two minutes.
There was stimulating action, without you realizing it, your body temperature increased. Your heart was racing slightly more than usual. Your throat no longer seemed to evoke the dryness you constantly perceived, and your stomach felt less empty. Then, the following minutes were devoid of thought. Your saliva also began its journey thru your tongue, teeth, and palate.
You knew that after 40 minutes you would want more, but you weren't that twisted. You were aware of the dangers and your own guidelines, it was just a matter of 40 minutes, just bliss afterward you can have a drink and possibly handle the sketchbook you had brought with you.
Your thoughts overlap, you were thinking about Robin, Dustin, what they were doing. If they were having good experiences. You could have joined them, but you chose to stay here. The bar didn't seem very appealing, so you quickly decided to turn around. There was only you left...
The image of a young man with chocolate brown hair and large, captivating eyes appeared in your field of vision, Steve. Steve Harrington and you were always present in the rooms. He, of course, had his room that he shared with Dustin, the room located right next to yours.
Then, several questions crowd in. What does he do? Is he bored in the same way as you? By squinting your eyes, you observed the ceiling, the light suddenly hurt your eyes, but you persisted in thinking. Thinking about this man who clearly didn't have much respect for you.
You chuckled a bit as you recalled what had happened two days ago. At the beginning of this trip, you thot that this cute boy hadn't really welcomed you well. The days that followed seemed to confirm this impression, making you believe that he didn't like you.
In short, two days ago, you made a mistake. As an artist, you enjoy manipulating your pencils and brushes. Indeed, Steve's cap, apparently "expensive enough to buy you a car," had ended up in your hands during the beginning of the trip. Robin was there, by your side, at the time of the events. You were already working on pastel drawings in your sketchbook. It was a fantastic idea to add a touch of color to the plain white cap that was sitting on the table in front of you.
You had made a drawing on it, more precisely of a cowboy boot. The empty street, visible thru the windows, had inspired you. You knew it, your beautiful boot was perfectly drawn. Robin shared the same opinion.
The next day, you heard a scream, a man's scream accompanied by curses and kicks, like a child struggling. A man's voice accused Dustin, then Robin. As soon as you chose to leave the small bathroom, all eyes were on you. Dustin pointed at you, you repeated the gesture on yourself with an innocent and perplexed expression, amused. "She did it, Steve." Then, Harrington gave you one of the darkest looks you could get from someone.
Sniffing twice, you left your cozy spot. You headed toward the small refrigerator located in front of you, facing the wall, opened it, and took out your bottle of Absolut Vodka. You had brought it with you to share with Robin, but your thoughts had evolved in the meantime.
You weren't someone who looked for conflicts or dramatic situations. You sought forgiveness as much as possible. You didn't want to be judged unfavorably, especially when they didn't really know you and formed mistaken ideas because of childish mistakes.
Your vision was slightly blurry at the edges, but that didn't stop you from leaving your room and closing the door behind you. Your role was clear, to acknowledge your past mistakes in the presence of Steve Harrington, your best friend's friend, and seek his forgiveness, which he will accept. You know it.
You danced to his door, jumping on your feet and counting to three repeatedly. The warm air fills your lungs, while the delicate kimono of your satin pajamas subtly moves with the wind.
One, two, three.
With a gentle smile expressing your happiness, you knocked on the door. Two knocks loud enough to be heard. You heard nothing but the sound of the soda machine hissing downstairs, the man at the front desk whistling, the two repeating endlessly.
A simple click, the lock opens, the handle lowers to reveal a door behind which a man stands before you. When your eyes met, yours widened slightly with drug-induced excitement, while Steve's narrowed. Goodbye to the perfectly round eyes, hello to the look he had been giving you for two days.
Shaking the bottle of alcohol near your head with one hand, you give him a charming smile, "Would you like to have a drink with me?" Those eyes narrowed further, observing you from head to toe with an expression marked by discontent.
"No, I'm busy." It comes out short and dry. He wasn't in the mood to share your radiant joy. "And I'm waiting for Dustin." He didn't hesitate to add, just before starting to close the door.
You stopped him.
"I think I owe you an apology, I'm here for you." You began. As you let your eyes explore his face, "I'm giving you a gift." Your soft laughter came out, without any kind of malice or mockery. Steve looked at you strangely, as if you had just spoken to him in another languages.
"I don't consume that." Liar. Your eyes landed on the interior of the room at the same instant, where a bottle was left on the table. You couldn't make out the brand of it, but your memory did. Genesee beer.
"The most popular in the country, yeah, it's really delicious." You say calmly, glancing at Steve.
He opened his mouth, stepped back, then moved forward asking, "What-what? What are you talking about?” You could see him fuming with anger, and it made you laugh. "What's wrong with you?"
"You're lying, I can see the open beer on the table." With a chuckle, you pointed at the subject of the joke. You then moved forward, accompanied by a discreet snicker, brushing past a Steve who was staring at you with astonishment, frustration, and vulnerability? "Wowwwww…The room is awesome, you guys are lucky!” Steve was still there, at a respectable distance, holding the door firmly as your head poked out of the opening. You turned your head back and forth, the space was no larger than the one you shared with Robin, but well-arranged enough to allow for easy movement.
"Wait, step back-what are you doing-" Steve raised his voice, placing a hand on your shoulder, pushing you back. "You're not coming in." He was demanding, you were in another dimension.
In your alternate universe, you furrowed your brow, the intense light, slightly blurry but it was magnificent. It produced a lighting effect ideal for a pictorial representation. You start to consider taking a mental picture of the image. Steve puts an end to your artist illusion.
"I think I've been pretty clear...I want to be alone.”
"You didn't say that. You don't want to share my alcohol, that's what you told me.” You replied, leaving Harrington speechless, the big man was unable to retort. "And, I just want to forgive myself, we could get along better...I mean, get along better, yeah!" Your lips pursed into an expression of sadness, while your eyes filled with hope.
The young man standing before you was scrutinizing you with deep silence, trying to find an answer in your gaze. It was evident that there were many things going on in his mind, you gave him time to think. As you moved backward while turning in place, you became aware of the life in front of you by showing patience. You were waiting. Waiting for him to agree to invite you inside.
You begin to admire the brilliance of the stars, the splendor that lies behind them. Throughout the process, you could hear footsteps moving inside the room. A minute had passed, he was back, you could already perceive what was about to happen.
"Okay...you can come in. Come.” When you turned around, Steve had his hands on his hips, chewing on his inner cheek. (From where you were, you could see the yellowish, fuzzy light of the room reflecting on one side of his face, he was attractive, you knew, incredibly attractive.) His bored expression tickled your skin, but in a pleasant way.
"You're a good boy, Harrington." Steve stood near the front door, blocking it to allow you to pass. He scrutinized you carefully, lowering his eyes and showing thoughtfulness. You floated, turning your body slightly several times while inspecting the room, finally inside.
The brightness was blinding. You heard the sound of the door closing behind you, now you're near the table where you placed your larger bottle next to Steve's. He no longer looked at you, slowly advancing toward you, precisely toward the table, hands in his pockets, gaze faintly fixed on the ground.
Steve was used to avoiding your eyes during moments of tension and disagreement, you recognized this habit at that precise moment. Steve had settled casually into the chair next to you, legs spread apart. He grabbed his bottle, fiddling with the neck. He was content to wait.
You began.
"Okay, so, I wanted to forgive myself for how I annoyed and hurt you these past few days. We got off to a bad start.” You recounted, as you sat down, taking your place on a chair, now seated to Steve's right.
He raised his eyebrows, you continued, "I'm sorry for sharing my talent on your Laurent Polo cap-"
"Polo Ralph Laurent." Those eyes turned toward the adjacent door, just as his forearm abandoned its resting position on the table to make a superfluous movement in the void.
"Yeah, that's what I said-" You began, a little indifferent to his reaction.
"You didn't say it." He was persistent, making a face. As if it should be significant, as if you should take note.
He turned his attention back to his beer, not looking at you anymore. You think. "I'm ready to pay you back." With a smile, you looked at Steve, he didn't spare you a glance.
"No." It was immediate, a total rejection. You opened your mouth, ready to persuade him. He finally looked at you, his eyes were lowered. He soon resumed his hobby, manipulating the ring of his bottle with his fingers.
Aware of this communication gap, you let out a deep sigh while covering your face with your hands. "You could take my apologies with a little more tenderness, Harrington."
"Steve...it's Steve...Don't make me feel old.” You took your hands away from your face, letting a storm of strands of your hair cover it. Steve made a disgusted face, grabbed the collar of his drink to bring it to his lips, and sucked down the contents. He looked at you as he did so.
"You're right." You offered him a simple answer with a beautiful smile, getting up shortly after. "A glass? Is there one here..." You asked the question, brushing against the table, taking small steps towards...you don't really know where. You remained frozen in place, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, your gaze fixed on the bottle of Absolut Vodka that sat calmly on the table. "Whatever." You muttered, took your freedom, and opened the bottle.
The liquid brushed your tongue, the tenderness of the alcohol blossomed in your mouth. It was pleasant, you appreciated it a lot. It was necessary to be generous. "Do you want some?" As you lower your head toward Steve, who was still sitting, you offer him the bottle. Welcoming and smiling, the young man makes a gesture of embarrassment toward your bottle. He made another move toward his bottle, "I have enough." A simple smile of sympathy on his face, his eyes shifting from your face to his beer.
"You're right, but me...I would have accepted in your place." You started to laugh, twirled, and wandered with your bottle in hand across the room. When you turned around, you noticed a slight smile on Steve's lips. You considered that a triumph. "You're smiling or I'm hallucinating." You started to move forward, slowly heading in his direction, your eyes squinting more and more.
"You're hallucinating...maybe you should wake up." It should have been cold, should have made you back away, but it was the opposite. You started laughing again, it was light, joyful. "Why do...you make things up."
"Yeah, sure." You nodded in agreement, settling back into your chair. Your bottle was placed on the table, your hands closed into a fist that you placed under your chin. You had a serious expression again, observing Steve out of the corner of your eye before turning your head in his direction. "Tell me, is it so difficult to accept my apologies? Hmm?? You are quite stubborn-"
"I accept." It had happened quickly, he was also tilting his face slightly toward yours. Observing your expression, you weren't even aware of your proximity. He could have simply leaned in, tilted his head to your level, and you would have been face to face.
"Robin will be happy!" You burst out, a weight lifted off your shoulders. "We could-"
"Your eyes..." The yellowish glow of the lamp, suspended above you, illuminated your eyes. It was possible that your pupils were visible. "Are you on drugs?" He quickly said. He was incredulous, his eyes wide, as if it were a revelation.
"Hmmmm, yeah...you've never done drugs or what…?" You laughed while avoiding his gaze, overlooking the fact that only Robin knew about this habit. Then you fall silent. From the corner of your eye, you could see Steve, who was staring at the ceiling, shaking his head. A guilty look was on his face. "Wait...you've never done drugs? Like never?" You teased him, you knew he was hiding something.
The young man was now observing the table, then the ceiling, as if he was searching for words. "It's illegal." That was the only thing he uttered, his suspended hand rising, sweeping thru the wind. Steve flashed a smile, showing his teeth, with a casual demeanor, all while staring into the distance. Liar.
"I have some, I'm not in prison." You joked, letting yourself appear serious for a moment before bursting into laughter. "You can tell me the truth, Steve." You lean forward, hands flat, palms facing the table. With a meticulous look, the way your hands seemed was strange.
Taking a glance at Steve, he was staring at his beer with a goofy smile on the corner of his lips. He blinked repeatedly, let out a nervous laugh before letting out a sigh. "I have already...taken drugs." With that, you nudged his shoulder with joy, faced with his confession.
"You see, I don't bite!" You mocked again and again. Harrington was staring at you, his head bent over his bottle that he was rolling between his fingers on the outside. "I took some, like, 10 minutes ago?" You had looked for a clock, but your gaze was somewhat clouded by the euphoria that was coursing thru you. "Do you want some?" That's kind of you, you thought.
"Yeah, no. I've been clean for a long time.” He declined the offer, staring at you as he sank further into his chair, turning a bit more toward you, his legs spread even wider. With one hand placed on one of those thighs. One of his knees was in contact with yours. Total relaxation. "But that looks...good." Steve looked you up and down, lingering particularly on your thighs highlighted by your short nightgown.
It was only a fleeting moment, as he looked away. Clearing his throat, the young man observed his surroundings before touching his face with his hands. He let out a sigh. "Are they going to sleep there or what..." He was talking about the two idiots.
"It must be fun...why didn't you go with them?” You asked innocently, looking at those large and virile hands that still rested on his face. You crossed your legs. Steve noticed this movement, because when he opened his hands, his eyes were on your legs. He looked elsewhere, biting his cheek.
"I know Robin...she'll want to introduce me to a girl or make me do something crazy that I'll regret the next day." Steve, after explaining, took his beer and then placed it on his lips. He gulped down the rest of its contents, scrutinizing you. Your face.
You tightened your legs further, slightly shifting from your seated position. "It's all a story of men, excessive alcohol, arguments, control...sex." You laughed at yourself, emphasizing the last word. Frequenting bars exposed you to rough hands and ill-intentioned men.
"Yeah..." Steve sighed, softly. He puts his empty beer back on the table. You were staring at him intently.
You are now sitting across from him, your legs crossed between his, a suitable distance, however. "Hmmm…Robin told me that you haven't really seen each other since 198-" You nodded slightly, restarting a conversation. At the same time, you turned around to grab your bottle, took a sip, and then it was stolen from you. "Hey!"
Harrington was the thief. His head was slightly tilted back, highlighting his Adam's apple. You shifted again in your chair, unsure of where to put your hands. However, you didn't want to look stupid, seem affected.
"I needed it, sorry." That was his excuse. He offers you your alcohol, you accept it. You took a sip. Steve stood up, you watched him with keen attention. He pulled on his t-shirt, which had lifted with the movement, a descending thin black mark was clearly visible. It stopped at the top of his pajama pants.
You turned around, facing the wall in front of the table. Taking advantage of the opportunity that the bottle of alcohol is on the table, you start to speak. You silently moved your lips to spell the words. "Kill me." It had been a few months since you'd had sex with a man, and that was the first explanation for what you were feeling (a sudden heat that ran thru your whole body, sweaty palms, heavy breathing). But there was also perhaps another cause related to what you had ingested earlier.
Steve grumbled about the lack of comfort of the chairs, then he headed toward the edge of the bed to sit there. He glanced at you, you responded with a smile, "I don't think they'll be back right away so...share the bottle with me?" Harrington suggested, a foolishly attractive smile on his idiot face.
You smile too, raising your eyebrows, you reply, "We stay fair." You pointed at him, standing up with the bottle in your hand. You stared at him, he raised his hands in a gesture of retreat.
Sitting, you maintained an appropriate distance from him. It wasn't his idea. Steve moved closer to you. Your shoulders were touching, you could feel his breath against the side of your face as he bent slightly to grab the bottle you were holding. You had watched him with wide eyes, given that he was taller than you, so you had to tilt your head slightly to see him properly. You find yourself biting your lower lip, captivated by Steve's as he takes another sip from your drink.
Okay, so it's really hot, like shit. You shouldn't look at him like that, normally you came here to bring peace, not to express a lack of sex.
By staring at the horizon, you focused your attention on everything except the individual standing five centimeters away from you, a little too close. The table was lit by a yellowish glow, it was beautiful. Painting! Breathing, his perfume...cologne...the floor! So many people have walked on this beautiful floor. He has an alluring scent, you dream of getting drunk with him, in a bed, your face nestled in the crook of his neck as he whispers naughty words in your ear. Okay, stop.
"You should drink some...I'm about to finish it." Steve shows no consideration for you, as if he simply has to tolerate your presence while waiting for your two friends to arrive. Nevertheless, you could perceive that he was trying to be kind.
"Uh-" Your eyes were distant as you looked at him, you switched from the bottle of alcohol, to the floor, to him. You felt stupid, feeling that way about a man like Steve had to be like the world was upside down. You joked about it, "Steve isn't selfish, well..." You used humor to calm your sexual desires. Steve rolls his eyes.
"You know...I would really like to accept your apologies, like really…but if you continue to talk to me like that- I don't think it will ever happen, ever.” He turned slightly toward you to face your profile. Those hands danced in synchrony, tracing his words, he likes to use his hands, you've noticed.
"It wasn't my intention, I didn't want to hurt you...again." It was like a dream, for you, you hadn't done anything wrong, but Steve's look conveyed the negativity he felt because of you. "Relax, Steve, it's not good for your health."
You had then also turned toward him, but you had settled on the bed, your legs folded under you.
"You're starting again..." Steve turned around abruptly, your presence was suffocating him. He placed his fingers on the bridge of his nose, thinking with his elbows resting on both knees. You were trying to justify yourself, a "What did I do" escaped you, he beat you to it, "Stop acting like you know everything. You know nothing, nothing, nothing about me. I don't even see why Robin invited you to come on our friends trip, our! You see, that, that was for Dustin. Dustin, Dustin Henderson, you know him? No." Steve reveals his resentment toward you, leaving you speechless. He had raised his head to address the wall, thus avoiding meeting your gaze.
"You don't know how to look people in the face, do you? When you're a man, you look your opponent in the eye. You don't avoid his gaze, you lose the fight otherwise.” In your voice, there was no trace of anger, you were simply scolding him, no longer able to tolerate his cowardice.
But you struck a nerve with Steve. Harrington had frozen on the spot, staring at the wall in front of him, then he continued in an annoyed voice, "If I don't look at you, it's because I can't stand seeing you anymore-"
"Lie-" You cut him off. He didn't like that.
"Look, look, you're starting again. You have no idea, no proof that it's a lie-yeah-you know what, I'd like to be alone. It's not hard to ask, is it?” Steve was showing cruelty and harshness thru his words, he had no subtlety in his remarks. You wanted to say mean things to him, to make him shut up. However, you didn't want the negativity to take over you. You remained silent and got up, getting out of the bed.
Steve did the same, but with a sigh and without ever looking at you. As if you were invisible, or a monster he's trying to avoid so he doesn't get exposed in his lies. Weak, you wanted to shout at him.
You placed the bottle on the table, the impact of the drug now pounding in your head. "I'm going to that bar, meeting Robin and Dustin there. I consider them both as friends, both of them. Of course, I'm not a bad person-" You wanted to avoid your negativity being revealed thru him, but it was beyond your strength, "I'm also going to take advantage of this evening to find a good guy who doesn't criticize me, doesn't hate me, in-”
"Yeah...anyway, I don't have to hear this-you could leave-”
"-in order to have sex with a perfect and handsome stranger!" You exploded, turning directly toward Steve who was already watching you with a raised eyebrow. He pretended not to have seen you by turning his gaze toward the wall. He ran a hand thru his impeccable hair, making it even more alluring. You hated that feeling while also finding it seductive.
"Fine, do that. I don't give a damn about your sex life.” Steve turned around, heading toward the bathroom, pointing at you with a certain nonchalance. He was clearly showing indifference. "Close the door properly when-"
"You're just a jerk, an asshole, the cliché of the rich idiot who looks down on those who only show positivity in every situation. You annoy me...annoy me so much. Look at me when I'm talking to you!” You were now shouting, exhausted. Steve immediately turned around to look at you, his eyes wide and his eyebrows raised. He tried to say something, but no sound came from his lips, only perfect silence.
A silence fell in the room. The only background noises were the sounds of your both breathing. Your chest rose and fell, your breathing had intensified. There was a kind of challenge in both of your eyes, an implicit challenge. You suspected he was hiding something, it was similar to when he had lied to you about his drug use. He was looking everyplace with those eyes, but not at your place.
It's exactly the same right now. His eyes flickered between the front door, the table, you. You persisted in staring at him, waiting for a more appropriate response from him. You were no longer going to take the initiative in dealing with these problems.
"You are disappointing." You broke the silence. You discreetly observed the Absolut Vodka waiting to be finished on the table. It was time for you to leave.
You turn around, ignoring the unfinished alcohol, getting ready to leave. When you opened the door, footsteps rushed toward you. Like a natural agent, you start to slow down.
A hand turned you around, the other slammed the door, closing it. You let out a cry of surprise. Steve immediately grabbed your face between his hands, pressing his lips against yours in a brutal and careless manner.
You directly moved your hand to his cheek without any delicacy.
He turned his head, suddenly stepped back, his hand touching the injured cheek. "Bipolar asshole!" You shouted out of breath.
You couldn't believe what you were seeing. Your breathing was labored, you couldn't catch your breath. Even under the influence of the drug, your vision seemed just as clear, without any blur.
"I'm sorry, I-" When he removed his hand from his injured face, a reddish mark was visible. Nice slap. Steve looked like a beaten dog, you didn't accept it. Instead, you hit him again on his chest. He took another step back. You were following him. “Stop hitting me, I'm-”
"You treat me like shit and think I'm going to accept that, you're completely nuts." This time you were surprised by yourself. No one was allowed to precede you. Especially not Steve Harrington. "That's not gallant at all." You raised your voice, then calmed down.
Steve straightened up, looking at you with eyes seriously filled with apologies. "I'm sorry." He said, out of breath, in total despair. He had intended to say something else, but his lips only slightly parted.
"Sorry, why?" You asked him the question. You are patient, even if it took him an hour to apologize, it wouldn't bother you. Steve Harrington had to realize how much of a jerk he had been to you since the beginning of this trip. "I need more."
Steve licked his lower lip, looking around, "I'm sorry for acting like the worst possible jerk...I'm sorry for treating you badly for no good reason. I'm an asshole, okay? I know, I know it very well. I haven't been the most gallant, I have no reason to have behaved like that. It's just that-just...it drove me crazy. It drove me crazy to still be the one they tell at the last minute. I made you experience what I wanted to give as anger to Robin...you don't deserve it. I grew up that way. And…and-” He stopped, hands on his hips, searching for the words in your eyes, "I hated that way you have of seeing the good in everything. I said it, I admit it. I'm not the happiest of men. I made mistakes that still weigh on me mentally. I try to have the best attitude for Dustin or Robin...but I can't- it eats me up. I'm a fucking weakling... I just needed to breathe with my friends. You—the girl who knows how to keep a fucking smile and laughter throughout an entire day. How...it's none of my business anyway. I just want to tell you that I'm a idiot who doesn't accept having-"
You cut him off, "People who control their emotions? Who knows that life is screwed but also knows that every day counts. That every day is a new beginning. I smile at life and reject all negativity because I know it eats you up until-"
"You end up like me." It was his turn to cut you off. He remained at a considerable distance from you. With his hands on his hips and an intense gaze, he studies you attentively. In reality, he had always acted this way.
You shook your head, "No...I've seen worse, Steve." You honestly admit. It was silent.
A more pleasant silence took place. This one focused on two individuals, each with their own problems and solutions. "I'm sorry, Y/N." Those were Steve's last words. He was waiting for you now. Your answer. Your reaction.
You were rocking forward on your feet. A smile formed on your lips, "You see…when you want to." You moved forward, placing yourself directly toward Steve, nearby. You could feel his breath brush against your eyelashes, your cheekbones, "I accept your apology." You say as simply as possible.
You didn't expect to be involved in another conflict anymore. You understood who Steve was and the reasons for his being that way. His past was none of your business, but his eyes expressed enough for you to perceive his vulnerability in the face of these reminiscences.
A discreet laugh escaped your lips. You place your hand on his chest, gently tapping it several times with your index finger. Your gaze, which was directed downwards, rose to meet those large eyes of a strangely green and brown hue, "But you shouldn't have kissed me like that. A gentleman wouldn't even dare. The woman first, isn't it." You added.
Steve glanced at you before simply nodding while staring at the horizon, thus accepting your words. His tongue touched the corner of his mouth. He was scrutinizing you again, with a genuine appreciation of what he was observing. You took advantage of it.
It was you who was the first to place your lips on his. It was softer than the last time, even softer. He took advantage of it, measuring your waist with one hand resting on the small of your back, holding you against him. You could still smell his cologne, the taste of the alcohol you had shared lingered on his lips.
The moment of sweetness quickly turned into a rushed and eager kissing scene. Steve had solicited you, his tongue touching your lips that you accepted. Your tongues intertwined, dancing in harmony. It was excellent, you thought, damn excellent. You sighed, Steve pivoted your bodies so that you ended up with your back facing the bed. Then, those hands were omnipresent, just like yours. Steve stroked your hair, the small of your back, the shape of your breasts above your nightgown. Your nipples were stimulated, you let out a pleasant sigh because of the sudden shiver you felt under the effect of his hand there.
You wanted more.
Your hands, in the process of ruining Steve's hair, abandoned him. You stepped back. Facing perplexed eyes, you pointed to the edge of the bed. Out of breath, you said, "Sit down, I'll get undressed." Your tone seemed both hoarse and controlled, rather authoritative. Observing the place you were pointing at, Steve looked at you a second time before starting to follow your order.
You started with what covered your skin, your kimono actually. You confidently slipped it off your shoulders, as Steve stared at you without any scruples. He hadn't moved yet. The kimono fell to the floor, thus finding itself floating. Then it was also your nightgown. You grabbed a strap, but hesitated, turning your gaze toward Steve who already had his eyes on that side. He felt your gaze. When he met your eyes, he widened them before complying with what you had asked him to do. Harrington took off his t-shirt on the way, letting you admire the sight of his muscles contracting in action. So you took the opportunity to take off your nightgown.
You were only in your underwear. No bra in sight. The cool and airy wind caressed your delicate skin.
As you turned around, you discovered that Steve's eyes were already fixed on you, he was watching your back intently. For him, it was captivating, "Come here." He whispers, his voice low, letting his desire show. You follow the orders, but you don't move very quickly and he quickly goes crazy. "I can't wait, Y/N." Steve grabbed your waist with both hands and guided you between his bare legs. He had taken off his pajama pants when you turned your back to him. He was only wearing his black boxers. You weren't embarrassed when your eyes lingered a little too long in that area. You were aware that he was in pain.
You squeezed your thighs together, Steve's eyes had moved between them. He savored the scenery, moistening his lower lip with his tongue.
"A little patience." You were mocking. Steve had approached you a bit too quickly, which led to both of you falling onto the bed. You were on top of him, laughing, and he was laughing too. It was pleasant. Your hands, resting on his hairy chest, carried your body in the company of Steve who wrapped his arms around you. You got the queens back. "Patience has a price." You recounted.
Putting you back on your feet on the floor, in front of the edge of the bed, Steve was left lying in front of you. He didn't move, he kept his legs apart. You took a deep breath before getting on Steve. You were well positioned. Really great.
You were moaning simultaneously, your wet and sensitive core in contact with his boxer shorts that covered his crotch. You weren't in direct interaction yet, but that was enough for you to lose control. "Oh my god, Steve." You would sigh with contentment, he had grabbed you by the waist, pressing a little more here. He also starts to moan, letting his head fall onto the bed, his Adam's apple rising and falling.
And that was just the beginning.
You were now kissing his right cheek, the place where it had been hit. Funny to remember. Steve slid his hands over your ass, gripping the flesh as you leaned in to press your lips against his. You kiss again. Steve moved your pelvis forward, your clitoris felt good as it was massaged thru his boxer shorts. Steve persisted in this back-and-forth, kissing you with his tongue that explored every corner of your mouth.
Your bare breasts were touching his equally bare chest, and the hair that covered his torso was driving you crazy. You grabbed those shoulders hostage, and Steve took advantage of the situation to flip you both over.
He began to descend when you were lying on your back, you had no words to say. Steve continued to kiss the skin of your neck, sucking, leaving marks that you knew would show up tomorrow morning but you didn't care. He moved down until he reached your breasts, "You are so beautiful, Y/N." The young man observed the landscape that lay before him. Your nipples hardened under the effect of his warm breath on them, which didn't make the task any easier.
"You're going to make me blush, Steve." You joked, wriggling beneath him, too impatient. "Don't wait an eternity either..." It came out breathless because Steve's hand, which was previously above your head, traced the curve of your waist. His eyes were fixed there, on your red lace panties.
Finally, he captured one of your nipples with his lips and let out a moan. In the process, you grabbed those hairs at the back of his head. Playing with those strands and moaning, you tilted your head back, the ceiling beckoning you with a dizzying effect. The drug was the fucking master key to access sex heaven.
You felt everything. Those hands exploring your stomach before teasing the edges of your lingerie, his lips attacking both of your breasts. He slid your panties from side to side, teasing you. He continued moving down, bringing his lips to the trembling skin of your stomach.
Then your panties disappeared, flying across the room. You lift your head, gazing indistinctly, almost like in a dream, at the scene before your eyes. Steve's head was almost buried between your legs, releasing a sigh over your most delicate area, your clitoris. "I'm going to enjoy this, so deal with it." It was a warning.
He grabs your legs, placing them on his shoulders, sinking deeper, his nose brushing against your throbbing bud. "Oh my-" You suppressed a sigh as you grabbed one of the pillows to place it over your face. Steve had started.
He moved his tongue, licking and sucking your wetness. "You're fucking wet...for how long have you been like this, honey." You groaned. Cried into the pillow, cheeks flushed and burning with heat and by the waves of pleasure that shook your body.
Afterward, Steve continues to focus on your clitoris. He wasn't kidding about his warning, he intended to stay there for a while. The missing pillow on your face, as well as your hands, met Steve's hair, touching the part above his nape. Steve had inserted one of his fingers earlier, his thumb circling your clit as you reached the peak of your second orgasm. Steve's use of his tongue was really something. First one finger, then a second, both sliding into you while the other stimulated your sensitive spot.
He suddenly rises, leaving his position between your legs to reach the height of your face. Those fingers were still down there, he was watching you, mouth slightly open, overcome by a burning, sharp delight. "You like it, huh?" He started whispering in your ear, lowering his nose further down afterward. He brushed the surface of your jaw until he reached your chin, "Tell me you like it, that you feel good for me, babe...say it." He placed a chaste kiss on your jaw.
"I...I like it-oh my god, Steve please." It was choppy, which makes you blush, you suddenly feel tiny compared to him. You already were, but the outline of his body captivated you wonderfully.
"Please what?" Steve was playing innocent, his lips brushing against yours, waiting for a cue to continue. Those fingers still didn't stop their movement in the space between your legs, you tried to close them but Steve opened them again. "Keep your legs open for me." You reached your second orgasm there, your skin was heating up, and you placed your lips on Steve's, who was on the lookout.
His tongue was licking your lower lip. You grabbed his jaw to place his face right in front of yours, then you bit his lower lip. It was thrilling, you could still feel your excitement throughout your entire being. You wanted more, always more.
But Steve stood up to his full height, making you frown. Those fingers that were inside your pussy found their way to his mouth, where they were sucked and licked, while he looked out the window covered with blinds. You crossed your legs, even more excited down there. Your gaze drifted to his crotch, where he seemed to be suffering thru the fabric. His hand suddenly appeared, kneading the area. You looked up, and Steve's eyes were already watching you, your relaxed figure sprawled on that bed.
He took a slight step back, grabbed both edges of his boxer shorts, and pulled them all the way down. The sight made you gasp. "How-"
"Don't worry, you'll take it well, won't you, hon." You stared into those attentive eyes, a mischievous smile adorning his lips swollen from your embraces.
You've already had sex with many guys, and there was nothing exceptional about them, it was always an average-sized penis. The effect was good, but nothing really special. But the situation was different for Steve, he was damn big. You laughed, unable to hold back a slight chuckle, the alcohol and illicit substances weren't much help in tempering your hallucinations (It was obviously a hallucination, right?). You stared at the ceiling, which had a yellowish tint. The warm hue turned into a total, icy black. The lights were off.
Turning your head, surprised, toward where Steve was standing, you noticed that he was no longer there. Powerful hands grabbed your bent legs to spread them. Steve was positioned between your legs, "Make some room for me, will you." With that, you leaned on your elbows and sank back onto the bed, the blanket tickling your back.
He positioned himself comfortably between your legs. You rest, letting your hands roam over his chest. It was damn hot as too intensely thrilling.
As a reminder of the situation, Steve gently tapped your stomach with two fingers, you looked up to meet his gaze. An interrogation tormented him, you quickly perceived that, "I take the pill."
He whispered something low that was inaudible to you, but seemed to express acceptance.
Steve detached your hands from his chest, you showed your discontent. In response, he leaned toward you. You didn't like the position and didn't want to have sex that way at first. "We'll switch." You let it slip, breaking the silence.
"What are you-woww wait!" With your knee, you press his hip, your hands push his torso, you turn. You were now on top of him, straddling him. Steve was staring at you with wide eyes, bewildered by what you had just accomplished.
"Don't look at me like that, I like being on top." You simply say, holding his sex between your hands, placing your entrance at the same height.
It was quick. The head was fully submerged, but the rest wasn't. You took the necessary time to adjust to its size. Steve accompanies you, his hands placed on your waist. "You are so...so big, oh my god-" When his entire length entered you, you let out a moan of pure pleasure, mixed with a sense of relief. Steve, who had been silent throughout the procedure, also let out a groan. He was impatient, you were so stuck that it was starting to kill him.
"Move...please." He whispered, with a certain authority. It pleased you to see him panting, full of desire. You leaned in and placed your lips on his. Light and quick. Another one that was intensifying, but you interrupted it by stepping back. You were getting ready to move.
You groan collectively. You pick up your pace, Steve has placed his hands on your hips. You will only do that for the next few minutes.
No one among you considered the danger of sharing the bed, when Robin and Dustin could arrive at any moment. But you had to live in the moment, it was the time. It was the forbidden feeling that gave it spice.
At some point, Steve was turning you around. He was now on top, concealing you and quickening your pace. He was entering faster and more carelessly. He knew it, you both needed each other. Your breaths were uneven, moans echoed in the room, the sound of your activity was perceptible in the space, it was unsettling.
Steve was kissing you, capturing your tongue with his lips to suck it. You were getting wetter and wetter down below, the effect Steve's body had on you made the sound of your wetness more pronounced.
"Damn-Steve!" You groaned, almost screaming. The young man chose to cover your scream with his mouth. It was endlessly sensual and interminable.
"I'm going to speed things up..." Steve whispered, sliding one of his hands to uncover your still swollen and red clitoris, he placed his thumb there, drawing incessant circles.
You were seeing stars, it was excessive. You grabbed his wrist, vibrating from your two orgasms. He stimulated your sensitive area so effectively that you closed your eyes, savoring the sensation and emotions. "Hold on like that, darling, I'm the only one who can give it to you." A possessive undertone escaped his lips, he whispered in your ear. His voice, his breath brushed against your ear. You felt his tongue brush against your earlobe.
You had already reached your limit, there was only surplus left now. Steve kept going in and out of you faster, he had stopped playing with your clitoris. You were enduring the last few minutes of this sexual encounter well. "I'm...fuck, hold on like that." Steve released, between his teeth, placing his lips in the hollow of your neck, sucking on the reddened skin. Your pleasure intensified without ceasing, you were fulfilled, you were doing wonderfully, and Steve was soon going to reach the same peak of enjoyment as you.
After insult upon insult, you felt the warm fluid wash inside you. He groaned, completely dropping his face into the hollow of your neck. He tickled you with his nose, which made you laugh.
"Why are you laughing?" His voice sounded muffled and breathless, a bit amusing as well. He was piqued by curiosity.
"Your nose is tickling my throat." You laughed, pushing his shoulder to make him sit up, but he remained still. He remained lying on you, in this way, relaxed. "You're crushing me."
"You won." Steve announced after one minute. He emerged from you, pulling himself up in the process. He left your softness to return to those feet on the ground. "I could take a picture of that..." Harrington blurted out. Despite the dim lighting in the room, you could feel Steve's gaze scrutinizing your silhouette.
"Shut up." You say, moving to sit down. "It's too dark to see anything." You added, observing the nite that surrounded you.
"That's what makes all the effect. Your silhouette...it's beautiful from where I am.” Steve confided in you, watching you, even when you were sitting, he liked your silhouette.
"Thank you." You react gently, blinking in his direction. You felt that gaze on you, which seemed to linger a bit too long. The atmosphere was still charged with tension and permeated with the scent of sex.
"I...I'm going to take a shower, you can come with me, you can clean yourself up." Steve declared, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. You observed your surroundings, the drug consumption was over, nevertheless you could still feel the imprint of the alcohol within you.
"Yup." You simply reply and stand up. Steve suddenly moved away when you appeared in front of him, naked and sweating from the effort you had just exerted. You began to observe the tall man in front of you, who seemed lost in thot as he stared at the front door.
You brushed those shoulders with your hands, with delicacy and care. You drew his frame toward you, he let himself be drawn. Steve turned his attention to you, his hands first resting on your waist and then on your lower back to draw you closer to him, "I really enjoyed the sex with you...you're good." You whispered to those lips.
"Me too." Steve whispers it in your ear before simply pressing his lips to yours in a pure kiss. "I had too much doubt about you." The young man joked, slapping your rear vigorously with his hand, he started to chuckle, "You're crazy and good in bed. Two beautiful combinations.”
You were so captivated by his voice and cologne that, despite his slightly sweaty appearance, his scent remained the most prevalent. "Crazy...yeah, I am." You whisper with little importance. Your eyes were heavy.
Steve pushed the strands of your hair that fell over your face to take it in his hands. He placed a tender kiss on your cheek, "We'll take a shower together, yeah?" Steve slid his nose against your cheek, like a whisper.
You simply nodded, "I'm the first.", you clicked before pushing Steve away. As you moved toward the bathroom with nonchalance, you heard Steve burst into laughter behind you before starting to mimic your movements.
When the bathroom door closed behind Steve, you knew it wasn't over yet.
Next day, 9:39 A.M., Nevada.
"So you're going to tell me you spent the nite at her place just to talk? I don't believe you, Robin, not at all.” Dustin and Robin were talking as they walked toward the motel.
They thot they had left you and Steve in peace in your respective spaces. Robin already thot of you, awake and drawing things in your sketchbook. Dustin had Steve on his mind. It wouldn't be surprising to find him sleeping in the motel bed, him, Steve, who had declared he preferred sleeping in the RV, categorically refusing to share a bed with his best friend. Everyone has their limits, and this was too much.
"No, you didn't understand, Dustin." Robin cracks, rolling her eyes. Their steps were in harmony, they moved as if life was of absolute serenity. "We talked and we did...the plus eighteen thing, sorry but I don't want to hurt your childish ears." Robin turned to Dustin, the wind whipping thru her hair.
Dustin stopped abruptly. Robin was walking forward with a slight smile. She was aware that she had upset him, "I'm eighteen, Robin. Eighteen! I'm not a child anymore!” Dustin shouted after the young woman as she continued on her way nonchalantly.
"Say what you want, kid, but your nite spent playing games proves it!" Indeed, Dustin had spent the nite playing video games with a group of young people aged 16 to 17. They were hanging out on the street and what started as a conflict turned into a good relationship. Robin had gone to this young woman's place, leaving Dustin and these children behind.
"Adults play too, Robin!" Dustin was singing behind her.
Robin quickly climbed the motel stairs that led to a higher level, where your rooms were located. Dustin moved at his own pace, observing the RV along the way. For a moment, his curiosity was piqued and he headed toward it. He was going to see if Steve had kept his promise.
Robin continued on her way, Dustin having informed her of his departure. As she climbed the stairs despite the pain in her foot, the young woman observed the sky where the sun was rising and shining.
At the first two doors, she crossed the threshold of Steve and Dustin's. Robin checked in front of your room by simply opening the door. "Miracle." She exclaimed, pushing the door inward, but her smile immediately faded at the sight before her.
There was no one around. You weren't there on the bed. Robin's heart began to beat frantically in her chest. "Y/N!", she shouted, maybe you were in the bathroom. At that place, the room was empty. "But where are you!?"
Dustin pushed the door of the RV, having tried to peek inside thru the windows obscured by curtains that completely hid the interior. He frowned as he observed his surroundings. There was no one around. Then he started to smile, he was a genius. He was aware that Steve had finally spent the nite in the room during his absence.
Dustin, with a smile on his face, stepped out of the RV, ready to wake his friend in a charming way.
Robin left the hotel room. Dustin was at the bottom of the stairs, ready to climb them. "Dustin!" Robin called him, "Is Steve okay? Can you call him, I can't find Y/N!" Robin spoke in a loud voice so that the boy wearing sunglasses could hear her as he slowly climbed the stairs.
"I don't know, you'll just have to ask him." Dustin gave her a mischievous smile, pointing at his room door.
Robin frowned and stared at the door in front of her, approaching to knock. Robin was terrified, she feared your disappearance. Although the upside-down was over, the young woman continued to have nightmares. It was illogical, but the fear persisted, knowing that you often liked to walk alone in nature.
Fear turns into frustration as she considers Steve's irresponsibility. Robin was aware that Steve wasn't particularly fond of you, but the fact that he didn't even take care of you during their absence, despite her instructions for him to check on you from time to time, exasperated her.
She then knocked twice on the door, two knocks. Not a sound, then she forced the door open. She was frozen by what she saw before her. There was no sign of Steve inside. No one. Robin began to move thru the room, scrutinizing every corner.
The young woman caught sight of bare feet, of a size that only a man can have, emerging from the back of the bed. She took a gasping breath, "Steve?" Robin said, worried. Was it really him? She moved forward slightly, then suddenly stopped, losing her patience, "STEVEN!" She yelled. Dustin heard her as he was coming upstairs, heading peacefully toward the bedroom.
The scream made you tremble and pulled you from your sleep. You were lying on Steve, chest against him, but when you got up, you found yourself straddling him. You were naked and squinting at the first contact with the daylight that came thru the opening of the front door.
"Y/N!" Robin's eyes were wide open, really wide open, her face betrayed surprise. She didn't expect to see you here, much less in this state. You quickly grabbed the pillow next to you on the bed. Slightly embarrassed by your bare chest exposed in front of Robin.
Robin took a step back, a glint of suspicion in her eyes. "Where is Harrington, Y/N?" You sharply tap Steve's torso, who sits up just as quickly with squinted eyes, messy hair, looking nothing like something perfect anymore.
Robin let out a scream. It was a scream of pure horror. “Oh my fucking god STEVEN!” She pointed at Steve first, then at you. Stammered using unintelligible words and facial expressions of anguish and shock, without grasping the meaning of it all. In her eyes, you were enemies.
Dustin entered the room, his hands in his pockets, whistling, clearly in a good mood. However, he stopped abruptly at what he saw in front of him. You waved at him, a small "hello" with a soft laugh. Those eyes were even bigger than Robin's, "I'm going to get a soda from the vending machine..." He simultaneously stepped back, also gesturing to you, a bit uncomfortable, before turning around, his eyes trying to erase what he had just seen.
Steve was constantly in a state of semi-sleep, he would wrap his arm around your waist while scanning his surroundings, not quite grasping what was happening. Finally, until his eyes focused precisely on the individual standing before him. "Oh-Hey, Robin!" Steve gave her a dazzling smile. Not at all embarrassed by this scene.
"You're friends now?!" Robin, visibly uncertain, pointed at both of you.
You observe Steve, who in turn looks at you, and both of you burst out laughing, leaving Robin perplexed and even more on edge.
"We're good friends now!" You laughed, carefully pushing Steve's hair back. Steve laughed incessantly, glanced at Robin who was staring at him with cold, narrowed eyes.
The man stopped laughing, stared at a point then at Robin with furrowed brows, completely lost, "What?" Steve complained while sketching an ironic smile at the corners of his lips, while Robin stared at him, arms crossed over her chest.
"You could have told me you had a crush on her from the beginning-," Robin began with a forced smile, while Steve stared at her, sticking his tongue out in the corner of his mouth, agreeing with what she was saying, "-I could have stopped her from coming on this trip." The young woman finishes her statement, leaving Steve with a collapsing smile.
He frowned and gave you a furtive glance, nodding, Steve spoke up, "That would have been a good idea." You both laughed together, which made Robin stomp her foot and mutter a curse against Steve before leaving the room, slamming the door behind her. That intensified your laughter with Steve's.