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“What was that?” Andy furrowed her brow, looking down at the flush editor in chief beneath her.
“What was what?” Miranda did not meet her gaze.
“That frankly impressive show of theatrics,” said Andy, moving the hand that had been between Miranda’s legs to brace herself on the bed. “You better not have just faked an orgasm.”
“I don’t know what you could be referring to, Andrea,” Miranda was still not looking at her, instead appearing to find the ceiling light fascinating. “Just because I do not scream and thrash as you do, doesn’t mean I failed to- as you’ve said.”
“You won’t let me go down on you and now- oh my god! Have you been faking it the whole time?” Andy sat up, “You could have just told me. Am I doing something wrong or is it-”
A hand flew to Andy’s mouth, “Is it because you’re not-”
Miranda wasn’t attracted to her. That had to be it. Or it was because Andy was a woman. Or fat. Or not a model. Their relationship was so new, but Miranda never failed to make Andy orgasm. The older woman seemed to relish it, spending one evening seeing just how many times she could get Andy off, until Andy was begging her to stop.
But then she wouldn’t let Andy return the favor. Andy had asked more than once to go down on her, but Miranda had kept rebuffing her advances. On top of that, every time it was Andy’s turn to pleasure Miranda, the entire thing was a quick affair, with Miranda panting and moaning at nearly clockwork intervals before gasping, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” and pushing Andy away. Andy could set her watch to it. Twenty minutes.
“Don’t be ridiculous Andrea,” Miranda began flippantly, but when she turned and finally met Andy’s horrified eyes, she stopped.
“It’s not you,” Miranda said, “It’s me.”
“That’s what you say when you break up with someone and it’s definitely them.”
“I would prefer not to break up with you if at all possible,” Miranda sniffed, “And in this case, it really is me. I’ve never been able to…”
She trailed off, vaguely waving her hand.
“You’ve never orgasmed?” Andy said, a bit too loudly, earning her a glare. Andy lowered her voice, “Like never never? But you’ve had three husbands.”
“All woefully inept,” Miranda said.
“What about, like, by yourself?”
Miranda blushed harder, looking anywhere but at Andy, “Over the years I’ve accepted that it’s not something I’m capable of.”
“Do you want to be? Capable of orgasming, I mean,” Andy drew closer on the bed, tucking her hair behind one ear before taking one of Miranda’s hands in both of her. “I don’t want to push you so this will be the only time I’ll ask but, maybe we could figure it out together? I’m really good at… completing tasks when I put my mind to it.”
Miranda glanced down at their joined hands, shoulders sagging as she exhaled, “You do tend to do the impossible.”
“I only want to make you feel as good as you make me feel,” said Andy quietly.
“Alright,” Miranda lifted her gaze to meet Andy’s, her haughty, imperious look back, “You have one month and then we’ll never speak of this again.”
…
If there was one thing Andy learned from journalism school, it was how to research thoroughly. And if there was anything she learned from working for Miranda, it was that thorough for everyone else was woefully lacking to Miranda’s standards.
So Andy did her research. She checked out books from the library about human sexuality, she read blogs and Cosmo and found everything horribly heteronormative and a little too male-centered. She scheduled time with sex therapist and peppered her with questions, even though Dr. Ziegler didn’t seem to believe that she was really asking for a friend and not too embarrassed to ask for herself. And then, she ordered sex toys.
Andy ordered every matter of sex toy, from vibrators to dildos and everything in between. She tested them on herself first, making sure they wouldn’t die in the middle of a session or be embarrassingly under powered.
Then, when the twins were at their father’s for a long weekend, she showed up at Miranda’s doorstep with a backpack so laden with toys and lube and even one copy of Playboy that would make even the most prolific prostitute blush.
“You seem… prepared,” Miranda commented, reclining in her bedroom’s windowseat, clad in that gray robe that made Andy go a little crazy.
“If you want to stop, just say the word,” said Andy, “I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
Miranda waved her concerns away, “I feel perfectly safe in your capable hands. I merely don’t want you to feel too disappointed when this great experiment fails.”
Andy crossed the room to knee at her feet, taking one of Miranda’s hands in hers. She had chosen to wear a blue babydoll Miranda had given her- one of the first gifts of lingerie Miranda had presented her with, commenting that Andy was oh so fond of cerulean, before pushing aside the lace and stroking her until Andy screamed.
“I only want to make you happy,” Andy said, “Anything you want, I’ll do it.”
Pulling her hand away, Miranda instead cupped Andy’s chin, rubbing the pad of her thumb lightly across Andy’s lower lip, “You already make me very happy. Come kiss me.”
Rising, Andy stood over her, forcing Miranda to tip her head back to meet her gaze. Ever so slowly, she leaned in, pressing the gentlest kiss to Miranda’s parted lips. It was soft and tender, far from the bruising rush of their first kiss, or the subsequent times Miranda had pushed Andy down on her bed and taken and taken until Andy was breathless and spent.
“I trust you,” Miranda murmured when they broke apart, and Andy smiled.
Miranda vetoed the strap on immediately, “Perhaps another day I’ll use that on you.”
“That’s not what this is about,” said Andy, blushing at the thought. Miranda then turned down the rabbit vibrator and dildo, and didn’t even grace the anal beads with a response.
Andy pulled out a small bullet vibrator. “Okay, how about this?”
“I do have one of those, I simply found it tedious. Good, however, for relieving wrist pain from work,” Miranda said.
“Okay after this we’re getting you one of those carpal tunnel braces,” Andy replied, thumbing on the toy and settling between Miranda’s legs. They’d spent the past fifteen minutes kissing, until Miranda was flush and breathless and Andy was horribly horny.
She picked the lowest setting, slowly dragging the smooth tip up and down the insides of Miranda’s splayed thighs. She kept her touch light, tempering the movements with soft kisses along Miranda’s hip bone and stomach. To her delight, Miranda’s breath would catch every time Andy’s lips met sensitive skin. But as Andy pressed the toy against the gusset of Miranda’s white La Perla underwear, Miranda stiffened and shifted uncomfortably.
Andy lifted her head, watching Miranda. She was staring at the ceiling, her cheating rising and falling with measured breaths. Through her underwear, Andy traced the vibrator along Miranda’s labia, circling near her clit, but never hitting that sensitive place. Miranda was flush, but her breath stayed steady, and there was still that tension in her body that Andy had only seen dissipate when Miranda was asleep.
“Let’s try something else,” Andy said quietly, kissing Miranda just above her navel. She turned off the vibrator, tossing it aside before crawling up Miranda’s body.
“It’s not my fault you have enough libido for the both of us,” Miranda huffed.
Settling on top of her, Andy began to softly pepper kisses down Miranda’s neck, careful not to leave any marks despite how badly she wanted to. She kissed just below her ear. Flicking her tongue out, Andy traced the pink shell of Miranda’s ear, smirking at the way Miranda inhaled sharply, and grabbed onto Andy’s arm.
“I’m going to take really good care of you, Miranda,” Andy whispered. Her mouth left wet trails down Miranda’s throat, and for once she was able to flick open the front clasp of her bra without any fumbling that Andy found embarrassing but Miranda always appeared amused by.
(“You’re like a horny teenage boy,” Miranda had teased one night on the couch- the book discarded and forgotten. “Just the sight of me sans brassiere and you’re off like a rocket.”
“Hey!” Andy made a face, but with only a few steady strokes of Miranda’s fingers in her cunt, she was gasping and orgasming humiliatingly fast.
“Mm just like that.”)
One hand flew upwards, fingertips sliding through Andy’s hair. Andy kissed her way down Miranda’s neck, between her breasts, nuzzling the soft skin there.
“I do like your mouth,” Miranda said breathlessly.
“Oh yeah?” Andy smiled, “Then you can have it, anyway you want.”
Andy pushed down Miranda’s underwear, sloppily, as she kissed one of Miranda’s pert nipples. Miranda made a little noise, something akin to a whine. Wiggling her hips, she managed to get her underwear all the way down, kicking them away. Her nails scratched at Andy’s scalp.
“We should have done this sooner,” Miranda managed.
This was Andy lightly sucking on one nipple then the other, her teeth scraping lightly against tender skin before soothing with her tongue. She slotted a thigh between Miranda’s legs. Andy was pleased to find Miranda hot and wet as she pressed her leg firmly against Miranda’s core.
“I tried,” said Andy between kisses, “You always pushed me away.”
“Less talking,” Miranda’s haughty command held little bite, but Andy obeyed all the same.
She reached out blindly, fumbling for another toy, pressing the on button until it buzzed to life. As she continued to worship Miranda’s breasts with her mouth, she moved the toy between Miranda’s legs. This time, instead of pulling away, Miranda’s hips bucked.
Miranda’s hand covered hers, guiding Andy to just the right angle. The toy she’d grabbed was a suction toy, mimicking the feeling of cunnilingus. Miranda moaned. Her skin was hot beneath Andy’s mouth, and Andy could feel each labored breath and every shuttering gasp.
“Don’t stop-“ Miranda gasped, hand tightening around Andy’s, digging her heels into the bed as her hips jerked. “Don’t- I- Andrea-!”
Miranda’s body tensed beneath her as hot liquid coated Andy’s hand, crying out. She clutched at Andy, trying to pull her closer before slumping back onto the bed, pushing Andy’s hand away.
“Oh,” Miranda groaned, lightly pushing at Andy’s shoulder, hiding her face in the crook of her elbow. “Oh.”
“That was amazing,” Andy murmured, kissing the corner of Miranda’s mouth, “You’re a natural.”
“Does this mean you’re going to be horribly smug?” Miranda asked as she sat up, looking at the wet spot on the bed, “Oh no-“
“No,” Andy kissed her, “It was perfect. You’re perfect.”
“Andrea, really,” Miranda admonished, glancing away, but Andy knew from the way she blushed and corners of her mouth pulled up, that she was just as happy as Andy was. She pulled Andy in, murmuring in her ear, "Next time, I want your mouth instead of that toy."