Work Text:
It's nice, the way you say my name
Not very fast or slow, just soft and low
The same as when you tell me how you feel
I feel the same way, too
I'm very much in love with you
༄.°
Looking back wasn’t very easy, especially for Annabeth Chase.
It was already the 16th of July.
It had been seven years since the incident.
It had been seven years ever since she had seen Percy.
And it had been seven years since he had died.
Oh Percy, how I miss you.
Opening her box of trinkets— in it were five polaroids, a camcorder, an Altoid can with the initials AC+PJ written on it, a bracelet with a wave charm, a ring, and two letters inside.
Annabeth doesn’t even remember how it happened— it was a blur of tears, and incoherent apologies, but she could only remember one thing,
That she should have died with him.
—
“Annabeth, I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I-I can’t make it to Berkley with you”
And that's how it all began. She should have seen it coming, for fuck’s sake she was class valedictorian, she was always six steps ahead of everyone. But this was something not even she could have forseen.
“What?” Annabeth whispered, a lilt of sadness in her voice. “Percy, we promised to go to Berkeley together.” She heaved out, voice cracking from trying to keep her calm demeanor.
“I know,” said Percy, blue eyes brimming with tears, and oh how Annabeth loved looking into those eyes, she felt as if she could look at them forever.
“But mom, she- she’s seriously sick Beth, and I-i don’t know if..” Percy trailed off, tears falling as he collapsed into her sofa, breaking down in sobs. “Annie, I don’t even know if I can make it to college” He hiccuped, breathing unsteady due to the crying.
Percy and Annabeth have known each other since they were 12, and have been dating since they were 16. They already had life planned out together way before they had started dating— Annabeth would get her degree in Architecture in Berkeley, whilst Percy would get his degree in Social Welfare with her. They had been together throughout middle school and high school, so why not make it to college together.
“Percy,” Annabeth cupped his cheeks, wiping the tears from his face. “We can do this, we have to. Berkeley is the dream, our dream.” She whispered out, tears threatening to fall any minute.
Annabeth knew Sally Jackson before the kidney failure hit her. Annabeth knew how warm, bright, and strong willed she was. She knew that every time she would enter their apartment on the upper west side of the city, a waft of chocolate chip cookies would greet her, and as always, they’d be blue. She also knew that despite being bedridden and sick, she would have given Percy an earful if she knew that Percy was on the brink of giving up college.
“Percy, we can f-figure something out, I-I can help you with the expenses,” Annabeth fussed, pacing around her dorm room. Her father was a well known History professor and philanthropist, he had the money and connections, and he had always been good with Percy and Sally, maybe— just maybe he could–
Annabeth’s train of thought was cut when she heard Percy’s phone ring
“Hello? Percy Jackson speaking” Percy said, eyes bloodshot and voice wavy. “Hello Mr. Jackson,” answered a voice from the other line, sounding worried yet professional. “The hospital has called to inform you that we need to put Ms. Sally Jackson in for immediate kidney transplant surgery.”
A soft thud echoed in the living room as Percy had dropped his phone.
“Annabeth, I’m really sorry, I have to go,” he kissed the top of her head in a rush, grabbing his keys shortly after. “We can talk about this another day, okay?” Percy said, cupping her face into his hands.
Annabeth had never felt this safe, her brown eyes gazing at his soft, yet tear stained blue eyes. She was probably wrong to think it, but she thought that Percy had never looked as beautiful as he did now.
“I’ll come with you,” Annabeth said, planting a chaste but quick kiss on Percy's lips before grabbing his keys. “But I’ll drive.”
“Wise girl, you know I won’t–”
“Stuff it seaweed brain, I’ll drive.” She said with a tone of finality. “Plus, you don’t look like you’re in the proper state to drive right now.” Annabeth pressed.
“Okay fine,” Percy sighed, a slight smile tugging his lips. “But I’ll drive us back on the way home
They never made it home.
In fact, they never made it to the hospital on their own.
It was raining hard, and Annabeth barely saw the road, which made her panic, when a loud horn brought her back to her senses
“Annabeth, look out!”
White light poured into her tunnel of vision, and before she knew it,
Everything had gone dark.
—
She shot up, clutching her chest for air, the smell of antiseptic hitting her nose. The room was quiet, apart from her heavy breathing and the sound of the monitor beside her, which indicated that she was still alive
It all came rushing back to her. Percy, the truck, the accident. How the last thing she saw was Percy’s warning face before everything went black.
Oh
Oh.
Percy.
Taking in her surroundings, she noticed the cuts on her arms and the mask on her face, how long had she been out?
Then it hit her. The conversation with Percy in her room, the drive to the hospital, then the crash.
“Percy,” she muttered out. Percy was there when it happened. He had been beside her when the truck hit them. When it hit the passenger side of the car.
When it hit Percy’s side of the car.
Oh.
Oh.
“Fuck” Annabeth whispered out, pulling the dextrose off of her arm as she made a beeline to the door.
So many thoughts were racing in her mind. What day was it? How long had she been passed out? Where is Percy? Was he okay?
Tumbling out of the room, Annabeth ran towards the nearest nurse station, hyperventilating from her exhaustion
“E-excuse me” she breathed out, “What room is Percy in? Jackson, Perseus.”
The nurse in front of her shot Annabeth an exhausted, yet worried look
“Jackson, Perseus,” The nurse thought out loud, sorting through files and papers of which patients by the last name of ‘Jackson’ had been admitted in the hospital within the past few days
“Oh, I’m so sorry dear, it seems that we don’t have anyone by the name ‘Perseus Jackson’ in our data base” The nurse sighed out while taking a sip from the cup beside her
Worried, Annabeth frantically tugged at her braids, anxious and on the verge of crying. ‘Are you sure? Are you sure that nobody was admitted with me when I came here?” she glanced up at the digital clock. It was the 19th of July, 2:18 PM.
Annabeth had been asleep for over three days
“Three days ago,” Annabeth heaved out, desperation lingering in her voice, “July 16. Was nobody with me when I got admitted here?”
The nurse frowned, then she had this panicked look on her face, then a look of realization washed over her.
“Hey Tim? Didn’t we have a John Doe admitted last Tuesday?" The nurse asked, glancing again at her papers. “Oh yeah! The blonde one?” Tim, the other nurse said in between bites of his bagel.
Annabeth was stunned. John Doe? That gave her a sense of relief. If she could identify if it was Percy, they could go home and talk things over and maybe visit Sally after all of this was sorted. She made a mental note to call her father after identifying if the John Doe was really Percy.
“Uhm may I ask? What room was the John Doe admitted in?” she asked, a mask of anxiousness washing over her
“What room? Oh dear no– Hey Tim,” The nurse shouted out, trying to catch the man’s attention. “Could you page Cass over here and ask her to bring Miss..” The nurse looked at her expectantly
“Chase. Annabeth Chase”
“Miss Chase to the morgue” The nurse said with a tone of command
The morgue.
No. It can’t be.
He was alive, He was alive and that is all that matters.
When she gathered her thoughts, she was already on a wheelchair heading to the morgue.
The nurse who was pushing her, who she assumed was Cass, started speaking “Hey if ever you do identify him, I just want to say that I’m sorry for your loss.” Annabeth appreciated the sentiment, but she didn’t think Percy was dead. She never thought that.
It was like a mantra in her head; Percy is alive. He is alive and well. Over and over and over again, Annabeth was praying to whichever god was out there listening, hoping and wishing that the man she wanted to marry would live a long and fulfilling life with her.
Before she knew it, they had already reached the morgue and oh.
It was him.
There it was, a body roughly about Percy's height, covered in a white cloth.
A big guy with a white streak in his hair uncovered the body laying on the metal rack and thats she saw the face of someone she knew all too well.
She saw him— laying there, lifeless. His eyes, his blue beautiful sea-blue eyes which looked at her like she had hung the stars now glossed in this waxy, cloudy sheen, no sign that he was still alive. His soft blonde curls which she loved running her hands through, were now matted due to the blood in his head. The lips she used to love kissing were now sorrowfully pale. She cupped his cheeks, which once puffed up when he smiled, were now hollow. He was so ghostly cold to the touch and it made Annabeth scream. Anguish flooded her senses and she tried to shake Percy alive
“Percy wake up,” She sobbed, air barely making it to her lungs before she let out a frustrated scream
Why wasn’t he waking up?
“Percy,” Annabeth sobbed out, clutching the white cloth around him. “Percy, please, get up. Percy we still need to see Sally please get up.”
She couldn’t take it anymore. Seeing the love of her life, laying there, lifeless on a metal table, she didn’t have the strength to think anymore.
And all she did was cry.
She cried and cried, clutching the white cloth that was used to cover his body.
Hours passed, she was still sitting beside his body when the nurse who brought her in came inside the room
“Miss,” she said, voice low and comforting. “Its time to get you back to your room”
Annabeth sat up, smoothening out her hospital gown, glancing down at Percy, whose eyes she loved staring at, now shone in this unnatural, cloudy haze.
She took the time to memorize his features, imprinting it and memorizing them like a prayer, because even in death, he was still the most beautiful man she has ever looked at.
She leaned down and planted a long, warm kiss onto Percy’s forehead. “I love you so much Percy, I hope that you are safe and happy wherever you are, and I’ll see you soon okay? Don’t have too much fun without me.” She breathed out, a small smile forming on her lips as she planted another kiss onto his cold, chapped ones.
It didn’t take long before she had gone back to her room, and with her accompanied a cold feeling by her shoulder, which she had prayed was Percy, going back with her.
—
She opened one of the letters, this one being from their first anniversary.
When opening it. She was greeted with Percy’s messy handwriting, with smudges of blue ink coating the letter, it read;
To my dearest, Annabeth,
Happy Anniversary!! You know that I’m not really the best with words but I just wanted to say that this past year has been such a fun ride with you. We had our ups and downs but there was no one else who I would have wanted to share this journey with.
Meeting you was the best thing that has happened to me. From the start of our friendship to the start of our relationship, you have shown me what love really is, and you have shown me that this is the love that I have waited for and deserved.
I cannot imagine my life without you: I think I wouldn’t care about anything because you make me want to become a better person.
My heart and soul belongs to you. When I am with you, nothing else in my life matters Annabeth, it has and will always be you.
Happiest anniversary wise girl, and here's to many more years loving you.
Yours truly,
Seaweed Brain.
She snapped back to reality when a tear fell from her eye, smudging the “sea” in seaweed brain.
After putting the letter back, she grabbed the camcorder and opened it.
She clicked through dozens of videos, and landed on the first one.
It was a video of Percy playing and singing her favorite song— Bless the Telephone by Labi Siffre.
She pressed play, and in it, was Percy holding his old beat up acoustic guitar, a gift from his dad before he had passed away when Percy was 9
“Hey,” Percy said, nervousness in his tone.
“Hey back to you too handsome,” Annabeth giggled, tears streaming down her eyes
“This is my first ever video here ever,” Percy laughed, tuning his guitar while speaking to the camera. “And now, here’s my attempt to play Annabeth’s favorite song.”
Annabeth laughed, a mix of pain and comfort, pain because he wasn’t there to be with her in all of her ups and downs, and joy because she was happy that she had someone like Percy, even if it was just for a while, even if that “while” lasted for six years.
Percy started strumming, his voice resonating throughout her gloomy New York apartment.
“It's nice to hear your voice again,” Percy sang out, fingers carefully plucking and strumming to a tune Annabeth has loved and listened too for all these years
I've waited all day long, even wrote a song for you
It's strange, the way you make me feel, with just a word or two
I'd like to do the same for you
Percy eventually stopped strumming, breathing out an exasperated laugh, slapping his guitar. “Damn I sound so bad,” he chuckled out, plucking a few strings before he started playing again.
“No you don’t,” Annnabeth said to the camcorder. It felt like she was talking to Percy again. “Go ahead, keep playing.”
Percy started singing again, his warm voice echoing within her surroundings. “It's nice to hear you say ‘hello’”
I’ve waited all day long, even wrote a song for you
Its strange, the way you make me feel,
An office job to do, while im here writing songs for you
Annabeth loved this song, she had grown up loving it as her mother had always sung this to her as a lullaby. And who would have thought that years later, she would be dedicating this song to the love of her life.
Percy continued, “Strange how a phone call can change your day,” he paused, and then started strumming again.
Take you away, away from the feeling of being alone,
Bless the telephone
He stopped for a bit, stared at the camera and smiled. This signature boyish and mischievous, but yet charming smile that Annabeth has grown to love all those years ago showed itself again.
And with it, her heart clenched.
She thought, what would Percy have looked like if he had lived long enough to reach 25. Would he have a beard? Would he have been taller? Just the thought of an older Percy made her heart hurt in so many ways.
“Wow,” Percy voiced out, a slight smile playing on his lips. “Annabeth would kill me for butchering her favorite song,” He giggled out, then started playing again
Annabeth giggled. She remembered the first time Percy had shown her the video, he was flushed from the tips of his ears to the base of his neck, red with embarrassment, they were 15 at the time, a few months before she and Percy made things official, and the sentiment made Annabeth plant a kiss on his cheek. How she missed those young, fleeting moments she had with him.
“It's nice the way you say my name,” Percy sang, “Not very fast or slow, just soft and low,” his voice resonating throughout each word, making Annabeth feel the emotions in the song.
The same as when you tell me how you feel,
I feel the same way too, I’m very much in love with you.
Percy breathed in, a wave of nervousness and joy washing over his face before singing the last line’
“I’m very much in love with you”
The strumming eventually stopped, with a 15-year-old Percy looking at the camera with a soft smile.
“Wow, I knew I was rusty, but I didn’t think I’d be this rusty” He chuckled out, shaking his head.
“Oh well, hi camera! That was my attempt at singing and playing Labi Siffre’s Bless the telephone,” he said with a smile on his face. “Maybe I won't be showing it to Annabeth, or maybe I will— anyways, bye!” The video ended with a cut when Percy covered his hand over the camera lens.
Annabeth glanced at her clock, it read 2:36 PM. She could still make it to Montauk before sundown.
She grabbed her keys and changed into a fresh shirt, rushing out of her Manhattan apartment, not caring if she looked like a mess with hair sticking out of her bonnet, with tear marks streaking her face with puffy eyes, and leaving the house in nothing but one of Percy’s old band shirts, a pair of pjs, and uggs.
—
After a three hour drive, she sat in her car, the calm seas of Montauk making the silence a little less deafening. She glanced up at the polaroid picture of 17-year-old Percy with his thumb up, which was taken a few weeks before he died, now taped to her car mirror with dotted washi tape. She pressed along the tape, gliding her thumb along it, making sure it doesn’t fall off the mirror.
“Hey Percy,” She whispered, talking to the mirror. “It’s the 7th anniversary of your death,” She sniffed out, taking out a blue cupcake that she bought on the way to the beach.
Percy had always told her that when he dies, he didn’t want to be grieved, he wanted his loved ones to celebrate that he had lived a life with no regrets, and by lighting a candle on the day he lost his life, she felt as if she was doing his request justice.
“Happy death day Percy,” She sobbed, choking slightly on her tears, a slight smile playing on her lips, realizing how stupid she probably looks and sounds right now, “I love you so much, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.” She blew out the candles and ate the cupcake, neon blue staining her teeth as the mix of sweet sweet buttercream mixed with the saltiness of her tears.
After about 30 minutes of crying, she stepped outside of the car, the warm summer wind brushing her cheeks, the familiar scent of the ocean engulfing her.
And Annabeth thought that she had never felt at home as much as she does right now.
She took out a lighter and a letter, lighting it on fire. As she watched the ashes go up, she prayed that her message reached Percy, one way or another.
Annabeth was now 25. Graduated top in her batch in UC Berkeley, and is now an aspiring architect. But Annabeth’s life ended when she was 18, it ended when the love of her life died.
Annabeth had turned 19 without Percy. She turned 20 without him, and it was like that with every year that followed.
Percy Jackson will forever be seventeen, and that is something Annabeth Chase will have to live with for the rest of her life.
“I love you so much Percy,” She sniffed out, staring at the gentle waves of the blue seas of Montauk. “See you soon.”
Annabeth turned around and walked back to her car, a cold feeling wrapping around her, feeling like a hug she really needed.