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The grandfather clock in the halls ticked well past midnight. About four hours until he should be awake and on patrol.
About eight hours before the princess from the ally kingdom would meet with the prince.
And yet instead of resting properly, he was currently being dragged by the arm down the castle halls, stumbling after an overenthusiastic and very much not supposed to be awake crown prince.
Now he has protested plenty! Even now as they neared the stairs to a tower. It was a new moon, casting only faint shadows across the ground, their footsteps pattering against the marble floors like dumb little kids. Stars spattered the sky, twinkling proudly each time he glanced through the windows taller than the both of them combined.
“Your highness, remind me why this is necessary?” Tsukasa mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.
“I refuse to let summer pass without witnessing the stars together at least once!”
“We have autumn, winter, spring and even years to come…”
That made Rui pause, a conflicted and wistful expression flickering onto the prince's face for a second. Tsukasa felt something stir.
A few moments passed before his highness snapped out of his stupor.
“Yes, but summer's my birthday and not any other season. June 24th.”
Tsukasa was dragged on with renewed vigor behind Rui, swallowing a yell.
“But it has passed, it is nearing the end of August and you are to meet your suitor in a week.”
Rui's expression fell, stretching out a growing —uncomfortable— silence between them. Round the spiral stairs up the turret they had claimed with pillows, plushies, and trinkets littering the floors. The candle they’ve brought years ago is a mere stub, barely enough to last them a night now.
It was childish, it was comforting, it was—
Wrong.
“Your highness… It was not of my intention—”
“Do me a favor, drop the titles, call me Rui.”
“— I am not of the same rank as you.”
“It was an order.”
Tsukasa stiffened, Rui was no longer gripping his arm nor hand or anything.
To say he didn’t want to was a lie, but even being here was wrong. To call upon the prince as if they were friends? Wrong, it was wrong. They knew better, were expected to.
“…… Kamishiro..”
“Rui.”
“You know it can’t work.”
“You know you want it to.”
He does.
The knight drew in a breath, grabbing Rui's hand and guiding him out onto the balcony, nudging a few pillows to settle the prince down on the pile. He knelt down, his own scarred hands hidden by gloves holding up pristine ones, the boy, stolen away by duty and status in front of him, presenting a confused expression.
Tsukasa placed a gentle, selfish kiss on the royals knuckles, the two barely visible in the shadows of night. But he caught the hitch in breath and the exhale of a chuckle.
“Are we to watch them now, Tsukasa-kun?”
“As you wish, of course.”
Rui pulled him up, the two leaned against the railing gazing up at the expanse of ink littered with dots of light. It was a common sight, but they searched for constellations. The tales immortalized in stars.
Tsukasa never made time to familiarize himself with such, deciding on his role as a knight since young. So he took on the passive role, following the prince's hand, nodding along to facts poured out in impeccable vigor.
There was Sagittarius, near it Capricornus and Scorpius. Above the scorpion was Ophiuchus and Serpens, even higher located Corona Borealis and even Hercules. Tsukasa never managed to really figure out how such shapes correlated to the creatures they weave legends for.
His highness’s knowledge was truly admirable.
Rui had formed a triangle with his hands, looking back at the knight.
“Tsukasa-kun? Look, those three brighter stars, the Summer Triangle.”
”Hm?” He blinked, gaze tearing away from Rui’s face back at the sky. “Oh right, right… Summer…”
”It’s formed by constellations actually, Vega in Lyra, Deneb in Cygnus, and Altair in Aquila. It’s bright enough to be seen even on the nights when the moon shines brightest,” The prince placed his hands down on the railing, playing with the cuffs of his sleeve. “I don’t think you celebrated the Star Festival this summer either… At least you returned alive," Rui's gaze and voice fell, a spark of hope lingering. "There's always next year anyways.”
“You told me it was about star-crossed lovers.”
“Indeed, it was.”
“Tell me again. I forgot the rest.” Tsukasa muttered quickly, ducking his head down.
Rui’s response was a fond breath, barely audible over the pounding heartbeat resounding in the blonde's ears. The view from the balcony showed the gardens, hedges and flowers trimmed and arranged in a radius around a fountain nestled in the centre. The far corner laid a small flower bed, the prince's personal little area, right beside the stone steps leading to a gazebo.
“... Orihime and Hikoboshi are represented by Vega and Altair respectively, and Deneb is often seen as the magpies that reunite them every 7th of July,” Rui's voice faded into the forefront of Tsukasa's mind. A pretty one, each word comparable to birdsong, perhaps a magpie.
The two neglected their duties once married, only to be separated by the king.
A weird tightness settles in him at the thought.
“Are you content with your summer stargazing now?” Tsukasa stood up straight once Rui's silence made him uneasy, backing away a step from the balcony.
“Very, but..” Rui turned around, hand outstretched, stopping midway from reaching out to the knight's sleeve. “Stay here a while longer.”
Glittering citrine eyes sparkled, holding the blonde's gaze unwavering. His eyebrows were drawn together slightly, almost pleading in a way. Tsukasa shook his head.
“It’s late, I have morning border patrol in a few hours. Your suitors are coming as well, no? Get yourself prepped, and don't just hide those eyebags with layers of makeup.”
“There's enough cushions here. Count it as a Tanabata wish.”
“Your highness—”
“Just tonight.”
Tsukasa sucked in a breath, the stubborn yet desperate expression carving away at his defenses, making him want to give in. Neglect their duties the way Orihime and Hikoboshi did.
“I'm sorry.”
The prince’s hopeful expression dimmed. The soft smile straining and hands dropping to his side limply.
It hurts, it pains the knight to crush the gentle bloom with hands that don’t dare touch said flower adorned with thorns without gloves. He was a coward and yet nurtured h̶i̶s̶ this rose to grow only to neglect and allow its petals to wilt. He shouldn’t get to experience this. This… thing with the crown prince. Tsukasa is no noble, no princess, not even a woman. Yes, he is an esteemed knight of great charisma and duty, but even he is still undeserving of Rui.
He does not want to gain that love only to shatter it completely, inevitably.
“I see,” Rui sounds dejected, yet somehow the tiny drop of hope is what pierces his heart with thorns instead. “...Tomorrow? Or, perhaps any other time?”
Tsukasa does not like to lie. “Sure.”
His heart should not melt at that smile, he should not wish his words were true instead.
I pray you do not look at me that way.
He feels his stomach churn, he wants to cry.
How can you adore me with such vigor?
He doesn’t hate it. No, he envies it. The prince expresses himself so boldly, so proudly. All Tsukasa sees when staring into those eyes is love. It feels sickening.
Rui nods happily and moves to grab Tsukasa's hand, their fingers intertwining.
“Then I'll see you in the morning, Tsukasa-kun,” He doesn’t notice the visible turmoil, perhaps just doesn’t mention it, and Tsukasa thanks him internally for that.
The knight only returns the small nod, afraid all words will only fail him. They walk back inside, stepping gingerly over pillows and blankets covered in a light layer of dust. All the plushies that crowded this place have been tucked away, their previous bustling hideout now a ghost town. Tsukasa paused once he only heard his own footsteps descending, turning around to see Rui conflicted at the top.
“Your highness?”
Rui's eyes averted back to their hideout, smoothening his nightwear. “Give me a moment, let me retrieve something.”
The prince returned, a golden puppy toy with a star on its rump gathered in his arms this time. Although..
“You forgot its companion, didn't you say they're a pair?”
“Do you want it? I'd like the puppy.”
“Oh, if you wish, I suppose—” Tsukasa froze at the chuckle, catching the wayward kitty toy tossed at him.
“A simple yes was enough,” The prince finally descended, fingers finding their way around Tsukasa's hand like something meant to be.
“Oh.”
Tsukasa stumbled down the stairs once more, gaze fixed on purple hair bouncing to each step. How he wishes to abandon duty and status, to lo—
To serve. Of course, foolish thoughts they were. Tsukasa could almost laugh at himself.
Rui only spoke again as they stopped at the doors to his chambers, he let go of their interlaced fingers staring at the simple handle.
“Thank you for escorting me, Tsukasa-kun,” The prince dipped his head with a smile, pushing the door slightly. “Goodnight then. I'll see you tomorrow?”
The knight nodded, hands tightening around the softness of the cat.
“Good night,” He responded as Rui slipped away into the room, the door closing with a soft sound, his voice trembling on the last word. “Rui.”
It would've been nice to hold on to that rose for longer. He swallows a disgusting feeling back down his throat, hoping it'll dissolve in his stomach.
It rained the next year during Tanabata, the lovers never reunited.