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“Whatever has captured your attention so, my treasure?”
The voice made me jump, my hands automatically closing the book I was holding around my fingers. My heart slammed around in the confines of my ribcage even after the initial shock had faded. I looked every bit like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar, feeling like I had been caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to do.
“Priest- you have got to stop doing that…” I sigh, pointedly ignoring their original question. Once the silence settled a little too thickly I spat out a pathetic response.
“Nothin’...just reading.”
My answer was not a satisfactory one if the look on their face was anything to go off on. Almost indiscernible from their usual expression save for the miniscule upper twitch of their left brow, something that would be impossible to see if not for the fact that I trained myself to pick up on such subtle details with them.
“And what is it you are reading, pray tell.”
That was the one question I had been trying to avoid. The second they had made their presence aware to me I had slammed my novel shut and held it close to my chest, hoping to hide the title from their piercing eyes. Knowing my partner as well as I did there was a good chance they had already seen the title before I could even process what was happening. The Priest had gotten better at asking questions even if they already knew the answer, small talk and all that, for my sake.
It just so happened that this is the one time I wished they forwent the courtesy.
Eventually I got too squirmy under the Priest’s unmoving gaze and caved. With a small, defeated sigh I pulled my book away from my chest and hesitantly held it out towards them. The Priest reached out with a leather gloved hand, chilled fingers brushing against mine as they gently took the book.
“I’m afraid I’m not familiar.” they admitted after looking over the title and not recognizing it.
As old as my partner is and the tremendous numbers of text they have read I did not expect them to know what this was right away. They did still read human literature from time to time but they were quite picky on what they actually spent their time viewing. Their time was their scarcest resource. Believe it or not, horror was not a genre they partook in often. The Priest much preferred books on philosophy and, and on rare occasions, religious texts. They found the human psyche fascinating.
It was for the better that they didn’t know what the book was right off the bat but it was only a matter of time before they found out. The Priest studied the book further and their eyes quickly landed on the author, a glimmer of recognition flickering through their endlessly black eyes.
“Ah. One of Clive Barker’s works.” the Priest stated simply as they handed the book back to me.
“Yeah.” I sounded oddly guilty.
Even though the Priest wasn’t a fan of human horror literature they were at least familiar with Clive Barker. It was kind of hard to not know about him when Barker had written many stories involving Cenobites and the Priest themselves after having a personal sighting of them. The Priest had inspired one of the author’s novella’s: The Hellbound Heart. Said novella then later led to movies and even more books that followed those.
The Priest had become a bit of a horror icon- well technically their knock-off had and at the very least read the original book. The misconceptions and inaccuracies were many but what else was to be expected of a mortal? There were entire organizations (cults) that attempted to understand Leviathan and his faithful but even after decades of existence they knew very little. The Priest had not watched any of the movies clearly, but they were at very least aware of them.
“Does this volume contain my character?” they asked politely as they flipped the book over in their hands to read the back.
Before you could even answer they had already read the entire back cover and was already scowling. Even though the character Clive Barker wrote as their budget replacement was a far mockery of what the Priest truly was, they still couldn’t help but feel slightly offended anytime they were referred to by that term. Pinhead.
If there was one thing the writer actually got correct it was that. The Hell Priest despised that name.
“Yeah, but it’s not like the original version he wrote or whatever. It’s like an alternate universe type thing. I don’t really know.” I admit with a soft shrug. Any shame had melted from my body long ago, muscles unknowingly relaxing the longer they remained in the Priest’s presence. As intimidating as any Cenobite was, there was an undeniable peace that came with being around the one I called my significant other. Despite all the very glaring power imbalances I was always an equal with them.
Scooting closer to the edge of the couch the Priest took that as their cue and promptly seated themselves snugly next to me. I naturally leaned into their body, even as their icy temperature caused a shiver to run up my spine.
“From what I think I understand, these books were written after the movies came out. Once Barker saw how much money you made when you were the big bad I guess he wanted to write you that way.”
I appreciated the way the first book and movie had been written. The Cenobites weren’t meant to be evil monsters, they just appeared that way because of human biases and the way we view life. It was poetic and not far from the actual truth. Obviously a lot of people didn’t see the Cenobites that way and just assumed the horrific demon creature had to be evil and the main villains. Oh well, I couldn't really blame Barker for doing what made him more money in the end.
“That does not shock me. Your kind reads the material they wish to and are prone to ignore anything that contradicts their personal views.”
The Priest’s gaze suddenly turns to me. Their face is as expressionless as normal but there might have been the slightest bit of curiosity laced in their gaze.
“This does not strike me as something you would usually partake in.”
I can feel the soft flush that comes to my cheeks at the callout. I knew it likely wasn’t a big deal at all but it was still a little awkward to admit to.
“Well…I was kinda hoping that reading this might help me not feel so lonely when I really miss you.” a chuckle wrenches itself from my lips as my cheeks grow hotter. “Didn’t really work though. Book you isn’t really you. Probably couldn’t be more different.
At some point through my explanation my gaze had drifted away from my partner and now lingered on the floor. Even as an equal it was easy to feel embarrassed around such a transcendent being. Being human around them could almost be embarrassing all on its own and unfortunately that’s what I always had to be. When I eventually forced my eyes back up to their face there was the smallest upturn of their lips, a small smirk.
“I am flattered, my heart.”
I could help but nudge their shoulder slightly, not caring if I literally didn’t move them at all even with the genuine shove I gave them. I was smiling as well but unlike them I was smiling like a mad man. Sarcasm. From them. Any sort of humor was extremely rare for them and I cherished any small moment of it.
“Yeah, yeah. Can you really blame me though. With how little you come to see me it’s practically neglect.”
The Priest turns to look at me fully, brow raised and head slightly tilted at my overexaggerated comment. A sly giggle wiggles its way from me and I only press myself further into their side. My chest was all light and bubbly, a feeling I swore was unique to the Priest. Knowing I was the only one capable of talking to them in such a manner without being harmed or even killed for the disrespect was a dizzying feeling.
I settle my chin on their shoulder, the softest of sighs escaping me as I practically deflate into them. I would lean closer if only it was safe to do so. The Priest was always hyper aware of their piercing and how close they were to my more delicate flesh but there was only so much they could do if I tried to nuzzle into them so far that I actually poke an eye out.
“It’s kinda weird trying to read it as you, really. I tried but I just can’t do it. It calls the you-not-you Hell Priest which is kind of disorienting.”
“What exactly do “I” do in this book?”
“Okay so- I think you’re on a warpath to wipe out all of humanity, I think? I’m not done yet and apparently this is the last book of the series- but anyways- you’ve killed like a lot of people. The book starts off with you killing all these magicians which are like actual humans with real magic not like the ones you hire for parties. That was kinda funny because you called one out for being a pedophile because he tried to call you cruel or something- but then it got kinda weird because you impregnated a woman just by touch.”
The Priest listened attentively, allowing me to rant and explain as much as I wanted. A good portion of our conversations were me talking and them listening. They were a Cenobite of few words and had no problems with letting me talk to my heart's content.
“I merely killed these people? Did they even open the Lament Configuration?”
“No. You just kinda showed up because you wanted them all dead. You were collecting all their magic stuff I’m pretty sure.”
By the look on the Priest’s face they were clearly not pleased that their literary adaptation was acting in such an undignified way. The real Hell Priest would very, very rarely just kill someone. Drag them to hell and bring them exquisite suffering for all eternity, sure, but to flat out kill someone would be utterly pointless. There were rules and regulations set for how they acted, a purpose behind all that they did.
“If it helps you killed them all very painfully. Lots of suffering. Technically the girl died giving birth though.” I cringe slightly at the thought. Birth was not pretty normally and I didn’t even want to imagine what it might be like trying to give birth in a room of multiple eviscerated bodies.
“I suppose I do possess the ability to create offspring should I wish it, although I find it hard to believe I would ever wish to do so.”
I didn’t question this new information much. I already accepted the fact that I would never fully
understand the extent of the Priest’s powers and I was okay with that. I could just trust they were super badass and move on.
“Oh yeah, and you let one live and took him to be your slave.” I added on before I forgot. I was expecting to see another soft exclamation of disgust from my partner but instead I received a brief nod.
“I do possess a few human slaves, it’s not that inaccurate.”
“What? You never told me that.”
“It was never necessary information to share. I did not foresee it being an easy concept for your human mind to be comfortable with so I did not bring it up.” the Priest spoke ever so casually. They did not lie to me or ever try to hide anything but I was also finding out they wouldn’t tell me things right off the bat unless I asked.
A part of me wanted to ask more but at the same time I really didn’t. I didn’t want to think about all the moral questions that might arise with the realization that my partner owned people. Like most things revolving Cenobites and their lifestyle I knew that I simply wouldn’t understand a lot being a human. There would be a reason my partner had slaves as there was a reason for everything they did, now whether that reason was justifiable or not was another question entirely. For now, I could leave that possible discussion for another time.
“Okay, setting that very concerning slave-talk aside for later, that was at the start of the book. Where I’m at now you’re getting fired I think. From being a Cenobite.”
If I knew the Hell Priest was not incapable of it I would have said they gawked.
“Fired? Does a human truly believe a position like that can be that simply removed?” there was undeniable disgust in their voice.
“Okay, fired might have been a bad word. Essentially you’re getting exiled because they found out you were collecting magic texts and items and you weren’t supposed to be doing all that. They mentioned something about how they should probably kill you but that would be too merciful or something.”
“Lord Leviathan did not approve of me collecting magic texts?”
“Oh there’s no Leviathan in the book. Not even mentioned. You’re just kind of a being of Hell in general.”
The Priest’s expression, probably one of the most expressive I’ve ever seen, could only be described as utterly baffled. Brows furrowed and mouth slightly agape They fully turned to look at me, fully shifting their body like the weight of my statement caused a physical reaction. When I first read about it, even I had been a little shocked. It was like trying to write a pope who had never even heard of God. There was nothing I could do to prevent the genuine laugh that left me.
The Priest allowed me to continue laughing at their expense until I eventually calmed down, giving me a very unamused look the whole time. Once I had finally settled again I moved to wrap both arms around one of their own, hugging it close and trying to appear as cute as possible to win their favor once again. Luckily for me I was always easy to forgive.
“This book must be burned for its vile acts of sacrilege.”
You can’t help but giggle but don’t doubt that they are being completely serious.
“Fine, but at least let me finish it first, I paid for it. Help me?”
Even after all this I was willing to test my luck. The Hell Priest gives me a look that I can only understand as a seriously? type look.
“You read faster than I do. Plus you can point out how stupid it is and explain stuff I might not know.” I attempt to give them my best puppy dog eyes to convince them to go along with it but they are not needed. Firstly, on matters where the Priest already has their mind set; no manner of pouting will change their mind. Secondly, they already struggle to deny me anything.
They hand over the book and I giddy go to find my place. Once I find it I hand the book back and settle in for the story that’s about to be read to me like I’m a child being tucked in for the night.
“The original purpose of the Channel Houses had long been forgotten. Many of them were completely empty. Some were repositories of chain-mail aprons and gloves that had been used on vivisections of the damned, the blood-gummed equipment tossed and left to the flies. Even they, who had fed and bred many generations there, had exhausted the usefulness of the stuff and gone.”
The Priest’s androgynous voice rolled over the words smoothly, their cadence never faltering for a second. I melted into the couch more and more by the second. I was a little ashamed to admit I was not paying great attention to the actual words they read as they continued reading. Just hearing them speak so much was enough, I didn’t need to understand what they were saying.
“Nobody now came there, except the Hell Priest, and even he had only come twice: once to elect a hiding place for his own contribution to the Order’s tradition of torment, the other to actually hide them away. In point of fact, it had been the sight of the bird on top of the wall that had inspired the simple but elegant solution of how he could bring the news–news he had spent many months studying and refining–to its recipients.”
My hands slipped lower down their arm and as if on instinct alone they moved to hold the book with only one hand, their voice never faltering once. Their now free hand rested palm up on their thigh invitingly. I had to fight the smile at how good they were getting at physical affection. Without any hesitation I slid my hand into their own, their fingers instantly curling around my warm skin. A genuine hum of joy left me as utter bliss filled every inch of me.
I much prefer reading the book this way.