Work Text:
It started, and ended, with a comment. A small one, a harmless one, but only if someone looked at it with rose-tinted glasses. Luca Haas tried not to wear rose-tinted glasses, he’d been desensitized to a lot of things people could say, but a pattern is a pattern. When Young and Holmberg joined him and Lapointe in the living room and ushered them to a private corner, he knew something was up.
“He said something again, didn’t he?” Dread pools in Luca’s stomach when Young nods.
“He’s drunk right now, so I don’t think he knows I heard, but Roz was standing right there and he definitely saw me.”
“What did he say this time?” The four rookies had started a small club sometime after the Hollander-Rozanov wedding last year dedicated to trying to figure out what was up with Hayden Pike. It started with the comment during his speech about Ilya stealing his best friend. Innocent, but it didn’t stop there, and the worst part is, they didn’t think anyone else noticed that when piled against each other there was a big mountain of what the fuck? With Hayden Pike’s name on it.
“Apparently he was talking to some of the Bears last time they were in Montreal, remember when some of Roz’s old friends came out here after? He said, I heard some interesting stories about your glory days. Some of them make me wonder when that glory really stopped.”
“What the fuck?” Luca’s eyes go wide and the other three freeze at the sound of Shane Hollander’s voice behind them. They turn, slowly, to face their alternate captain, who is standing arms crossed.
“Heyyyy, Shane,” starts Bergy, “Didn’t hear you there.”
“I was headed back to the kitchen when I saw a rookie huddle, so I wanted to check in. What did I just hear?” He hasn’t moved, staring each of them down with an intensity usually reserved for hockey. Young swallows audibly and side-eyes his teammates. “Because what I think I heard is someone talking about my husband’s glory days and I want to know who and why.”
“Can we go somewhere more private?” Luca asks, nervous about where this conversation will go, but already knowing they won’t be avoiding it anymore. Shane gives them each a long look before nodding. He ushers them into a spare room, shutting the door behind them, and training his attention back on his rookies who have taken up residence on the bed in the middle of the room.
“Start talking.”
“Well Shane, we, uh, overheard a conversation in the yard.” Bergy points to himself and Young. “And we needed to inform Haasy and Pointy.”
Young takes over, head hanging. “We didn’t know if we should bring it to you. We’ve been noticing things since the wedding and we don’t really know what to do with it, so we’ve just been gathering evidence.”
“What do you mean by noticing things?”
Luca picks up next, “Pike doesn’t like Ilya. Like, not just they don’t get along, like actually dislikes him. The way he chirps isn’t very nice.” He winces at his lackluster explanation.
“I know they fight like cats and dogs, but that’s not why we’re in here. This is something I missed,” Shane’s eyes narrow at the air in front of him. “I don’t like missing things. So tell me.”
“We don’t like him. Pike. We don’t like him, we think he’s rude to Roz and kinda an asshole when no one is looking. We try to avoid him at things like this, because otherwise we just hear all the comments he makes about Roz. One of us is going to punch him one day and we don’t want you to be mad.” Lapointe blurts out.
“He’s right.” Bergy’s voice is small now. “We don’t like some of the things he says about Ilya. We don’t know if it’s just cause he’s Ilya-phobic or something else, but most of the stuff he says comes across really mean. Like, below the belt mean, not just chirping.”
“It’s not really a secret that Roz likes to ragebait people, it’s his love language. Pike uses the ragebaiting as an excuse, we think, like, he started it I couldn’t help myself.” Young mimics Hayden mockingly.
“Yeah. Except we’ve never heard Rozy go low, he just says things and people tend to get upset, but it’s clear there are lines he won’t cross.” Shane is watching them with disbelief written across his face. He feels sick, thinking about his teammates avoiding his so-called best friend because they think he’s mean to their captain. The worst part is, they have the evidence to back it up because they’re right. Ilya has lines, standards. Shane has to tell him to knock it off occasionally, but Hayden is always the one who has to be told he’s gone too far. Shane hasn’t heard Hayden go too far in a long time, so he thought the message had gotten through to him. Apparently not, if the looks on his rookie's faces are anything to go by.
“Give me examples. Not that I don’t believe you, but I want details.” He tries to keep his voice from shaking in anger, unsure of his success. The rookies look at each other again, eventually prompting Luca to be their spokesperson.
“Well, there’s the smaller stuff that he says around you, like, you can do better or how he doesn’t know how you put up with him.” Shane nods, that had been around a long time, and was a sore spot between them after all these years, even after they had (mostly) tapered off, or so he thought. “And there’s the slut-shaming. At least that’s what it sounds like, sometimes it comes across as bi-phobic.”
Shane’s blood runs cold, he might not be the most socially observant person, but he always notices comments about their sex life, or Ilya’s sex life. Hayden Pike was saying things behind his back. He gestures for Luca to continue.
“He’ll get bored of you and move on, or he’ll realize being with a woman is easier, or you’re gonna get your heart broken and Pike’s gonna have to pick up the pieces. It’s only a matter of time before he cheats on you. That kind of stuff.”
Shane is sure his teeth are going to crack where they’ve been grinding together. “Anything else?”
“Did you know he tried to break you guys up?” Whatever he’d expected when he asked, that wasn’t what he was expecting. He thinks he would have heard about his best friend trying to break up him and his husband. Shane shakes his head.
“When we came by the camps this summer,” says Young, “We overheard him talking to JJ. JJ brought up when he used to try setting you up with guys, you know, and asked Hayden why he’d always been so eager to help JJ if he’d known about you the whole time. Pike just said it was all part of keeping the secret, but also he secretly hoped JJ would find the perfect guy and you guys would break up.”
“It seemed shitty, and I asked Young when we got home if he was trying to keep a big secret like that for me, what he would do.”
“I said I would make up fake stories about brain-eating worms before I tried to help someone set him up on a date.” More thing Shane kind of knows, but never had proper context lined up in his face, it’s like someone forced him to put on glasses for the first time.
He knows JJ hadn’t been deterred from trying to set him up until after the big reveal, but he hadn’t known about Hayden’s enthusiasm to help behind his back. His wish that Shane would just break up with Ilya if he found someone Hayden could like more than tolerate. It pissed him off, and the sudden memories of everything Hayden had ever said about Ilya to Shane, before and after he’d known, directly or implied. Shane’s blood was boiling.
Who did Hayden Pike think he was? What kind of authority did he have over Shane’s life that he thought he was free to pull strings behind his back? The man who was supposed to be his best friend, who was the first to know about Ilya, had kept their secret (badly, whispers a traitorous voice in the back of his mind). That man had never stopped being a dick to Ilya, had just made sure to keep it where Shane wouldn’t hear it.
Shane moves, standing to the side of the door, throwing it open and gesturing. “Ok, everyone out. Do not say anything to anyone, if you see Ilya, tell him we’re leaving in a few minutes.”
The rookies start to file out, Shane calls out a grateful, “Thank you.” behind them and shuts the door. He presses his forehead to the cool wood, taking deep breaths, until he hears a knock.
“Shane?” It’s his husband. Shane feels a tear slip down his cheek. “Shane. Our kids said you were in here and that you wanted to leave. Can I come in, moya lyubov’?”
Shane opens his eyes and steps back, twisting the doorknob to let Ilya push the door open. Ilya shuts the door behind him, concern written across his face.
“I thought you might be having panic attack, but now I’m not sure.”
“I’m angry.” Is all he can say. Ilya’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
“At me?”
“No.” Shane closes the small gap to bury himself in his husband’s chest. “Not at you.”
Ilya squeezes him back, still confused. “Why are you angry, lyubov?”
“What did Hayden say to you earlier?”
“What do you mean? Hayden says lots of things to me.” That makes Shane feel worse, and he takes a shuttering breath.
“In the yard about an hour ago. The boys already told me, but I want you to tell me.”
“Oh, Shane, is just chirping about my Boston days. He had drinks with old teammates who tell him stories, nothing serious.”
“Yes, it is. Serious, I mean. Ilya,” Shane pulls back to look at his husband with red-rimmed eyes, “I have just spent the last hour listening to all the things Hayden says about you behind my back. And I want to punch him, really, really want to punch him. How often does he cross a line?” Pain writes itself into Ilya’s face. “Be honest, Ilya. I hate the thought that he’s been hurting you and you haven’t told me because he’s supposed to be my best friend.”
“Is not often, but sometimes he will still say I am not deserving of you. Never around you, is true, but Shane, is not a big deal.” Ilya tries to shrug.
“Ilya. It is a big deal, it’s not just insulting to you, and I know that’s not all he’s saying, but it’s insulting to me. That he thinks I can’t decide who I want. He doesn’t get to decide if you’re good enough for me, I do.” Shane is pacing the room now, any sign of tears gone. “I’ve known you longer then I’ve known him, I’ve been fucking you longer then I’ve known him. And he thinks he can go behind my back and try to break us up? Shit talk my husband to other people, like he has any idea? I thought he would understand the most, he’s known the longest, but none of it matters to him. We’ve been married for a year and he still wishes we weren’t together.”
“Shane.” Ilya grabs his wrists, holding him in place. “Breath, please.” Shane does, letting his breath even out. “Are you ok?”
“I choose you, Ilya. I always choose you. Over everyone else, even Hayden Pike. I don’t want you to think you can’t tell me because you think I won’t believe you, and I’ll hate myself if you think that.”
“Shane, moya lyubov’, I do not think that. How about we go home and maybe we calm down. Then maybe we talk more, but at home this time.” Shane just nods.
“I don’t want to see anyone on our way out. I really don’t think I can say goodbye and if I run into Hayden right now, I will break his nose.”
Ilya swipes his thumbs under Shane’s eyes. He gets them out a side door and to their car, bundling Shane into the passenger seat before going back inside to say farewell to their host. Other than passing on a feel better from their rookies, the car ride home is silent, Shane holding one of Ilya’s hands and staring into the middle distance.
—
Their talk drags on for three days, because every time Shane thinks he’s done, he remembers something new and has to run his frustrations out on the treadmill. Ilya, to his credit, did lay out everything that first night. Explaining the things that really didn’t hurt and the things that still stung. Shane got the pleasure of telling Ilya about the years they hadn’t been out to anyone but Pike and what Hayden had tried to do behind their backs. That made Ilya angrier than even some of the things said to his face, upset that Shane’s support system hadn’t been as supportive as previously thought. Ilya was more pissed that Hayden hadn’t been able to see Shane’s happiness or misery during that time and actively tried to contribute to the latter with no care about causing his best friend pain, blinded by his own dreams about the kind of nice guy he thought Shane would be happier with.
Talking to Ilya was easy, but when their scheduled dinner with the Pikes was looming, Shane was still angry. And he can’t help but see an opportunity, so he pokes the bear, just to see.
Shane: I’m sorry man, we have to cancel tonight. Ilya isn’t feeling well.
Hayden: Damn, ok. We’ll miss you.
Hayden: Sure you don’t want to come by yourself? We’d be happy to have you.
Shane: I’m not leaving my sick husband home alone Hayden.
He doesn’t wait for Hayden's response. Ilya isn’t sick, actually he’s feeling better than he usually does, but two months ago Jackie was down with the flu. Shane let them cancel and asked if they wanted him to swing by with chicken soup or medicine. So Hayden couldn’t leave Jackie alone, but Shane should leave Ilya? Not a chance, even if his husband begged him to go. He decides they’re going to enjoy a night in and stalks off to find his husband, drag him to the bedroom, and ride him within an inch of his life.
—
Eventually, he has to see Hayden. Shane gets invited out to go on a run together, something they used to do before Shane moved to Ottawa. He knows he’s been avoiding Hayden, so he sees the opportunity to be outside away from confining walls and a chance to confront his best friend.
“Hey, man!” Hayden greets him brightly. “You’ve been busy. Getting too busy for your best friend?”
His tone is joking, but his words immediately set Shane on edge. “Yeah, busy. You ready to run?”
Hayden shrugs and starts jogging in place to warm up before taking off with Shane next to him. They finish a lap before Hayden speaks.
“Ok, what’s up with you? You’ve been acting weird.” Shane isn’t sure how to respond to that, unsure of where to start this conversation.
“What do you think about Ilya?” Hayden gives him a weird look.
“What do you mean, what do I think about Ilya? He’s Ilya, you know how I feel.”
“Yeah, I thought I did.” Shane grumbles under his breath; Hayden gets defensive.
“What’s that supposed to mean? You know how I feel, what’s going on?”
“What’s going on, Hayden, is that you’re right, the last time I asked you what you thought you told me you didn’t like him, but you supported me. I just thought you would have grown up between then and now.” Hayden looks taken aback. They’ve both stopped on the track, staring at each other.
“What’s going on Shane, I feel like I’m missing something. Rozanov’s fine, you’re in love and married.” He throws his hands in the air.
“So you don’t think I can do better? You aren’t waiting for him to get bored or cheat on me just so you can say I told you so?” Shane throws each accusation at the man, words taken directly from people who had heard them from Hayden’s mouth. “You didn’t try to encourage JJ to break us up behind my back? Any of this ringing a bell, Hayd?”
“Listen, I don’t know what the fuck Rozanov has been telling you, but-” Shane scowls.
“But nothing. Ilya didn’t tell me anything, you’re just assuming I must have heard this from him.”
“Who else would be telling you those things? Ilya doesn’t like me, but I thought he tolerated me enough to not try and turn you against me.”
“Turn me against you? Really?” Shane clenches his hands into fists, pressing fingernails into his palm. “Ilya does tolerate you, and until recently, he even liked you. But I’ve never had my own teammates sit me down to tell me that he talks shit about you where I can’t hear it. Ilya has never talked about Jackie the way you talk about him and I’m sick of it.” Hayden is pale now, realizing the seriousness of Shane’s tone.
“Shane, I don’t know what you’re talking about. We chirp at each other, that’s it, nothing serious.”
“Except it is Hayd. It is serious. Accusing him of cheating on me with a woman? Telling people he stole me from you? You don’t own me, Hayden. You don’t know anything about either of us if you seriously think any of that is harmless chirping. God, Hayden, I told you he was sick three days ago and your response was that I should just leave him behind to come to dinner.
“If I said half the things you say about my husband about Jackie, you’d kill me. You don’t get to decide I’d be better off with someone else. You don’t get to decide whether or not I can trust my own husband. And you don’t get to go behind my back and say any of those things to other people. Do you understand how insulting it is? To both Ilya and me?”
“It’s not a big deal, Shane. He chirps right back at me, he can take it. Besides, I’ve been your best friend longer than you’ve been dating.” Hayden’s neck snaps back with the force of the punch. Shane hisses his closing statement through his teeth.
“I have known Ilya Rozanov longer than I’ve known you, you know that. I have been in love with him longer than I’ve known you. No one stole me from anyone, that’s not how this works. I am not your child, I am not your doll, I am not someone who has handed over every life decision for approval. If you hadn’t figured out our secret, I don’t know how long you would have stayed in the dark. But then, at least, Ilya and I wouldn’t have been so carelessly outed. I will choose him every time, over everyone. So don’t think for one second that if I hear another foul thing out of your mouth about the man I love, I won’t do worse than punch you.” He starts to stalk off, away from Pike, towards his car. He stops and turns around. “I want to be your friend Hayden, but you’re not acting like a very good one right now. So until you’re ready to apologize to Ilya, and me, for everything and put a genuine effort into being nice, I don’t want to see you.”
He leaves Hayden on the ground, Ilya has a bruised and bloody fist to take care of.