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Donald clutched the mic as his friends strummed the opening chords.
First audition gotta make this big.
"Hear my voooooooice-"
"Ew no I'm gonna stop you there. Yikes my guy"
Mark beaks held one palm in the air like a stop sign while texting in the other, not even looking up from his device.
"But we didn't even get to the best part!" Panchito said
"Exactly! My sick dance break" José jumped to center stage of Beaks' high tech lavatory to skip to his part.
"WHAT!? NO! My soul crushing solo! Obviously!" Panchito argued.
Donald laughed nervously, holding his microphone at his center as his bandmates butted foreheads and growled insults back and forth. They were always at each others throats competing but why couldn't they keep it together for two seconds to nail a sponsorship!
"I'll show you conceited!" Panchito barked, pushing back Zé with his guitar, which he flipped to avoid, causing Panchito to stumble to the ground. Donald went to help the rooster up and the dancer moved towards Beaks.
"Mr. Beaks. If you'll allow us to continue I am certain the beautiful melody of the samba would bring an audience to your musical application"
Beaks typed on his phone disinterested.
"Yeah Mmmhmmm I'm sure. But I don't have time for your garbage mexican music, m'kay? No way hosé"
"Você é desrespeitando samba!" Zé sneered in offence. Donald slid up and pushed him out of Beaks face, still muttering in Portuguese.
Beaks disregarded this and took steps out of the washroom as the intruders bickered. Panchito took this opportunity to try a pitch of his own. He strummed his prized acoustic baby as he strolled charmingly behind.
"I am certain this app of yours would be thrilled to have such stars as Panchito Pistoles preforming. I can even give you my single for free if you would like a taste of my solo act"
"Free?!" Zé protested from Donald's grasp.
"SOLO ACT?!" Donald yelled, dropping the parrot (his beak slamming on the hard white tile).
Panchito didn't hear the boys over his aggressive playing and loud screeching singing, to which Mark Beaks closed his maw.
"Also neeeooooo. Waddle, and by extension, Waddlefy, are innovation at your fingertips." he waved his phone at the trio and pressed a button on the music app, playing electronic dubstep over the speakers. Panchito covered his ears and cringed. This wasn't real music, he grumbled in his head. He cheered and shot finger guns into the sky as the beat dropped in a horrifying concoction of beats and air horns.
Employees from all over randomly stopped their activities to boogie and the billionaire turned with a smirk to Panchito. "This is real music Pocho. That guitar stuff is so, bleh"
Panchito's beak flew open in the most dramatic gasp, clutching his precious instrument tight. Donald swooped in to try and salvage the deal, "Ok no strings then! How do you feel about accordions"
He smiled nervously as he took his own instrument out to try and wow their crowd.
"Betrayal!" Panchito shouted as the duck danced. He looked around for his Brazilian friend to back him up but he had disappeared.
"Dónde se ha ido José!?" Panchito asked, looking around for the parrot. His worry dropped to deep shame and disappointment as he found Zé dancing with the waddle employees, enjoying the pitiful excuse for music.
"DOUBLE BETRAYAL!" He yelped, head turning between Zé having fun and Donald still stealing his spotlight.
"Ah-cha-cha-acha chacha-whOOP"
Donald yelped as a security guard dog picked him up and his toothy nervous grin only expanded staring into their stern expression. "So...heh... We'll start with 1 million then?"
Donald was tossed right out of the door with Panchito dragged just behind by the same body guard, who was thrown on top of Donald.
"Get OFFA ME!" He demanded, pushing his bandmate away. Dusting himself he looked around, noting only Panchito by his side.
"Hey where's José" Donald huffed.
They heard pleading echo from inside before the green bird was hurling towards them, knocking both back down to the ground.
"Qué Cabrón es ese tipo" Panchito sighed, shoving Zé off to stand up. He hung his thumbs in his holster before taking out his phone. "I am so blocking him and his company from all my accounts"
"We will never get funded now" Zé despaired
Donald protested, "Oh come on there are plenty of other rich schmucks in town!"
"Why do we not just ask your fabulously wealthy Uncle already?" José questioned
"We don't need Scrooge guys! We can make this fame on our own!"
.....
They shared looks of unease as child millionair Doofus Drake stared unblinking at them for what seemed like hours. Breaking in was easy enough, the only forms of defense were two stressed out parents who let them come up with a calming melody from Panchito and a some sweet talking from José.
Breaking in was the easy part. Even their performance went off slightly well as the child sat in his pool judging them silently for ages. Finally the boy removed himself from the pool and creepily approached.
"So? Uhm. Did you like it?" Donald asked, hopefully. He heard whimpers from Louie about this kid being... off, but money was money where he was standing.
Doofus stood inches way, piercing into the presumed band leaders eyes. Sweat dripped down and he gulped, the kid still not saying a single word; He only breathed awkwardly. A moment later he released Donald from his social paralysis and stood behind his dear theremin.
Echoes of mystical notes echoed from the instrument.
"I enjoyed your musical tirade. Reminds me of the music Gamimama once loved when she was still on this earth."
(Despite there being no one else in the room, the Cabs flinched as they swore they heard Gamimama echo through the room)
"You are a musician too?" José inquired
"You LIKE US??" Panchito, far more boisterously declared.
"Oh yes. And your music is pleasing to me. I could..."
The millionaire was cut off by a chipper voice on the other side of the deck.
"I liked it very much as well!" Boyd chirped.
The hymns of the theremin abruptly stopped and Doofus stomped over to his little brother. "NO you are not allowed to enjoy things I enjoy. They broke into MY house not yours!"
"I'm sorry brother, but they are very good."
Drake began a tantrum, spouting, "No! Stop it they are MINE not YOURS! If they are not mine then they are NO-ONES!"
He gritted his teeth like a lion establishing territory, but Boyd just looked at Donald with a small frown. "I am very sorry Louie's Uncle. I didn't mean to ruin your audition."
"LLEWELLYN?!" Drake screamed with a vengeance, head boiling red as he took a good look at Donald once more, connecting the dots on the person before him. It was seconds later that the Cabs where being chased around with a golden broom as Doofus Drake screamed like all hell.
"OUT OUT OUT YOU VERMIN OF LLEWELLYN! BEGONE!"
As he ran away, Donald tripped and stumbled, hurling off the rooftop deck. José jumped off after him, using his umbrella as a parachute to glide them both down. Panchito looked back at the crazed child and yelled, "I will NOT be singing at YOUR birthday party!"
Donald and Ze emerged from the bushes as Panchito descended down, plummeting into the foliage like a stage dive leap of faith. The others held out their hands to catch him but the rooster only took them back into the bushes with him.
"At least we know our signature move of friendship still works." José remarked, removing leaves and Panchito's feathers off his person. Panchito shook his fist up at the mansion. "Rotten brat. He just got a Panchito birthday package for free"
"Why does a child like that get to be rich but not us" Zé grumbled.
"He was born rich! Fortune favors the lucky." Donald added, thoughts of his cousin distantly crossing his mind. Maybe Gladstone could lend them the money he was always winning the lottery. But then that would still be stealing off his family instead of doing this himself. And Donald desperately wanted the band to be his thing. Enraged at their failures, Donald threw his hat on the ground. "Why wont anyone listen to us!"
A red hand touched his shoulder, stopping his rageful spat. "Do not loose hope, mi amigo. We just need the right audience."
Zé joined him on the other shoulder. "Yes if only Donald knew a very rich and successful person who could contribute."
"Oh yes. A very famous and influential Scottish billionaire you may know"
"NO! NO SCROOGE!"
The two backed off and Donald huffed out the burst of anger.
"Why not!" Zé whined. Panchito just tilted his head in sudden confusion.
"Wait Scrooge?"
The duck and parrot glared at his owlish expression.
"I was thinking Glomgold."
José hung his head in his hand. Obviously they should skip all this work and go butter up Scrooge! But Donald nodded along to Panchito's thinking and they were soon on their way to Donald's old employer performing.
Glomgold relaxed in his gigantic bath, patting his shark on the fin. "Aren't you a little perfect sharky who's gonna cause Scrooge's demise. You are yes you are"
He pet and pampered his shark in the bubble bath when the lights went out and music echoed through his bathroom.
"Eh? I smell a scheme..."
"Hear my voice"
"AHHHHHHHH WHO ARE YOU. WHAT ARE YE DOING IN MY HOUSE!?? SHARKS!!! GET THE INTRUDER FOR DADDY!"
The cabs ran out being chased by crazed sharks.
"Who keeps sharks in their bathroom!" Panchito yelped
"This was a bad idea bad idea!" Donald screamed between his typical intonations of terror.
"Nice sharky, good sharky!" José yelled to the shark.
"Stop being nice to the shark!" Donald snapped as they made it through the doors and he kicked the shark back. It whimpered but flopped away.
"You have a lovely home!"
"José!" Donald and Panchito gripped in unison
"What he does!"
Donald dusted himself of and bowed his head with a defeated grumble.
"Man I can't believe that didn't work. Who would've known the revenge crazed billionaire with things to steal would be that mean to intruders" Panchito huffed in actual suprised.
"Man that was the third rich guys bathroom we've been kicked out off..." José remarked before, turning his gaze towards Donald, who was looking more and more jaded at each failed attempt.
"So..... Scrooge?"
He inhaled and answered, "Fine. Let's go bother Uncle Scrooge"