Work Text:
Hajime felt his back aching as he looked to the computer, the numbers all mixing into one huge block of black text. The watch on his wrist marked three in the morning, but he still felt unsure of stopping his work. Hajime always finished his deals with at least one week of anticipation, but Ran was supposed to meet an arms supplier in two days and he still hadn’t finished the outline of their demands. He had been working on that contract for about two weeks, but every time he sat in front of the computer, his mind went blank. Hajime knew that he needed a break, but he didn’t feel deserving of one.
He sighed, saving the file before turning off the computer; it was useless to work at such a state of mind, and the risks of him committing a mistake were higher than he would like to admit. He didn’t trust himself to drive back home, so he simply turned off the lights and laid down on the couch he had in the office — courtesy of Kakucho, who claimed he slept more there than at their place anyways.
God, he missed his boyfriends. Kakucho was in Thailand to accompany Mikey in a meeting, and although Hajime called him everyday, he still missed having him by his side. He rarely even saw Ran those days because of this stupid contract. He knew no one could make him relax like them, and he also knew he was needing that. So, before he could drift off to sleep, he texted Ran quickly, asking — demanding — for him to be free tomorrow night.
Hajime unlocked the door and walked inside like a zombie. He had a headache, his back still hurt, and he hadn’t eaten anything in the last twenty four hours. He hadn’t even drank water; all he had in his stomach were two Red Bulls and a Monster. He would honestly feel like passing out if he hadn’t already become so used to that awful routine. Even Ran and Kakucho had lost weight with how exhausting Bonten was, so it was no surprise to Hajime to see that his ribs were showing when he took his clothes off.
He stood naked in the bathroom, looking at his own reflection. There were bags under his eyes, his nails were chopped, and he looked so, so tired. There were moments where Hajime wondered what the hell Ran and Kakucho saw on him. That was one of those moments; he felt so ugly, so broken, so empty.
“Koko?”
Hajime didn’t turn, being able to see Ran’s reflection in the mirror. He was wearing sweatpants and a tank top, which allowed Hajime to see the intricate pattern of his tattoo. He had that concerned look in his eyes, the one he would give to Hajime whenever he locked himself up in his office and didn’t pick up any phone calls.
“Koko?” He repeated, but didn’t move.
“Hey.” Hajime replied. “Didn’t see you coming.”
Ran nodded, stepping inside the bathroom. He carefully put his hands on Hajime’s shoulders, massaging it. He felt as his boyfriend relaxed slowly to the touch, his eyes closing and a soft sigh escaping his lips. Ran moved his fingers all the way to the other’s neck, applying some pressure to the tense spots.
“What can I do for you tonight, Koko?” He asked, but Ran already knew the answer: Hajime needed to bleed.
“You know what to do.” He whispered back, eyes still closed.
“I do.” He replied with a smug smile; there were advantages to knowing someone for so long, and Ran took pride in being able to understand Hajime so well.
They headed to the bedroom, the absence of Kakucho so clear and unfortunate — but Ran would take good care of Hajime, and maybe even send some evidence of it, just so Kakucho wouldn’t feel so left out, of course. Hajime, being already naked, took his usual spot in the bed, not failing to notice that there was already a towel on it, the stained one they always used.
Ran got rid of his tank top, knowing Hajime had a thing for his tattoos. He then grabbed his favorite knife, the one Izana had gifted him for his eighteenth birthday, and moved towards the bed, kneeling on it. He sat on his heels, and took his sweet time looking at his boyfriend. He dreamed of the day he would drop to his knees and ask Hajime and Kakucho to marry him, but he also knew that, in Bonten, it would only mean danger for them. Their relationship was no secret to the other executives, but no one else aside from them knew about it. It was stupid to fall in love in such a world, but Ran couldn't help himself, not when it was Hajime and Kakucho.
Hajime was skinnier than ever, his eyes looking so tired. Ran would take care of him, as he always did. His left hand reached for Hajime’s thigh, caressing it. The right one held the knife, and he moved it until the blade was on top of his stomach, just barely touching it. He watched as Hajime sucked in a breath, anticipation showing in his face. Oh, Ran loved that game, loved to have the Hajime Kokonoi under him, bleeding in such an intimate way, begging for more. He loved to cause wounds and clean them up, to break and build that man he was absolutely devoted to. But it wasn’t the time to get sentimental; he had a job to do, and Ran always completed his tasks with perfection.
He dragged the blade slowly through Hajime’s stomach, a thin cut appearing. The blood began showing, but not enough — not nearly enough. Ran knew that Hajime didn’t enjoy the feeling of skin being cut on the same spot over and over again, so he moved his hand a bit upwards, keeping the knife in the same position; he liked being symmetrical. He did another cut, this time deeper; he saw white before the red began bleeding out. Hajime moaned, his eyes closed, the remaining eyeshadow and liner finally being visible, the red of his makeup matching the one of his cuts. Ran wondered if he would cry red, painting such a beautiful picture.
He leaned down and licked the blood, savoring it. It was fucked up, he knew that, but he loved it and he knew so did Hajime. It was their way of showing affection; dysfunctional, but it worked. Ran moved his hand again, keeping the same distance from each cut, and cut Hajime’s skin again.
“Ran.” He called, eyes closed and tears threatening to spill. “I need more, please, please.”
“I got you, Koko. You know I do.”
This time, he took the blade to Hajime’s thighs, where most of his scars were. He knew Hajime preferred discreet places to have his wounds, so they never did it in his arms. Ran kissed his inner thigh, and then used the knife right above Hajime’s left knee. He felt hands grabbing his hair — his boyfriends were still mourning the fact that he no longer had braids they could hold into — and pulling at it, and Ran knew it was an incentive to keep going. He did as Hajime wanted; the cuts on his left leg getting deeper, but in a controlled way. Ran knew what he was doing, knew what the limit was. He knew, also, that part of their whole thing was the aftermath.
Hajime’s chest began rising and falling quickly as the tears finally escaped from his eyes. Whether it was from pain, pleasure, or frustration he didn’t know. All he knew was that Ran was making him feel good, and that was what he needed right now. He pulled on Ran’s hair again, moving his head so they could face each other.
“I need you inside me. Now.”
“Let me clean you up-”
“Now.” He insisted, a sob escaping. “I’m tired, Ran, I need you, I really fucking need you.”
Ran didn’t respond; his actions would always speak louder anyways. He put the knife away and moved to the bedside table to get lube and a condom, coming back to the bed to see that Hajime’s makeup was already ruined. He knew it was a delicate moment, but god he looked so hot like that.
“Love you.” He whispered against Hajime’s lips. They weren’t the type to use those words frequently, it was more Kakucho’s thing, but it was true and Ran felt as if he needed to say it before Hajime got lost inside himself. Hajime opened his eyes, as red as his eyeliner and the blood pooling on his body, and he smiled between the tears, the sincere and unapologetic smile he reserved for very few people.
“I love you too.” He whispered back.
Ran smiled as well, and then got back to work. He poured lube on his fingers and then inserted one inside of Hajime. His other hand went to his boyfriend’s stomach, fingers messily spreading the blood through his skin. He knew touching the fresh scars made it ache, but Hajime enjoyed it like that. He moaned as Ran’s finger turned into two, as his other hand made pressure on the open wounds.
Ran pulled away when he felt it was enough, and then put on the condom. He moved so he was sitting down, and then patted his lap, indicating he wanted Hajime to ride him. It was going to hurt, he knew, but Hajime wanted it. He needed it. He moved his legs around Ran, positioning himself on top of him, and slowly sinked down. The blood on his legs was dripping down, and they both moaned at the sight of it.
“It hurts so good.” Hajime murmured, his hands on Ran’s shoulders to help him move. “Thanks, Ran, I-” He was interrupted by a moan, and that again made Ran smile. He loved doing a good job, especially when it came to Hajime and Kakucho.
“You look absolutely stunning covered in blood, Koko.” His hands were on his waist, their movements slow and sensual, dragging their pleasure for as long as they could. Hajime leaned in for a kiss, and in Ran’s mouth he could taste his own blood.
They moved in complete synchrony, Hajime’s nails digging into Ran’s shoulder, making him bleed as well. Ran’s mouth moved to his neck, kissing and biting as Hajime began picking up speed, needing his orgasm. Ran followed his wishes, thrusting up to meet him. The tears hadn’t stopped falling down on Hajime’s face, but his mouth was open and moans of pure pleasure were escaping.
“Close?” He asked, breathless. Hajime nodded, his eyes closed. “Me too, love.”
The pet name always made Hajime melt, and this time it came in the form of a high pitched moan. Ran kept moving his hips, chasing his own relief, but he used one hand to jerk Hajime off — his boyfriend deserved to come first, after all. He reached his orgasm quickly, some drool escaping from his open mouth. Still, Hajime kept moving, helping Ran out. Even when he wasn’t in his right mind he was still considerate, and that was one of the many qualities of the man Ran was proud to call his boyfriend. He followed right after Hajime, biting his shoulder to contain a groan.
Ran helped Hajime to get up, his legs wobbly. The blood had luckily not escaped from the already stained towel, so they didn’t need to change the sheets. He got up himself, throwing the condom away, and then reached for Hajime’s hand.
“Want a shower? I’ll clean your wounds first, don’t worry.”
“Yeah, thanks.” He said, sniffling. “Thanks for everything.”
“I’m always here for you, Koko, I hope you get that into your thick skull.”
Hajime smiled, and that was more than enough to Ran. They made their way to the bathroom; Hajime sat at the edge of the tub and Ran kneeled in front of him. The cuts weren’t particularly deep, but he knew better than to not take care of them. He used a wet towel to clean them, and when the bleeding stopped, he guided Hajime inside the shower. They didn’t usually use the tub after those sessions; Ran was scared of the mixture of fluids causing an infection. It was better to just use running water.
He turned the faucet on, letting the water heat up before coming under the shower with Hajime. He kissed his boyfriend’s forehead and then reached for the soap. Ran kneeled down again, cleaning the wounds carefully. Hajime didn’t mind the pain of the aftercare; he actually found the best part of it all. When the cuts were clean, Ran gave the soap to Hajime, letting him wash himself first.
“Do you want me to wash your hair?” He asked, softly.
“Not today. I wanna sleep and doing it with wet hair is not good.”
He nodded. After they both finished showering, Ran dried the wounds before putting gauze on them, strapping them down with some tape. Hajime used to go to bed with the cuts still open, but after Kakucho insisted that they should be more careful, they began patching him up. They went back to the bedroom, and while Hajime got himself in a clean set of pajamas, Ran took the towel to the washing machine. He then put on the same sweatpants he was wearing before, and hopped into the bed, where Hajime already was.
“Was it helpful?”
“As always.” Hajime smiled. “You’re the best. I can always count on you to take care of me.”
The sincerity of it all took Ran by surprise; Hajime was usually quiet after sex, preferring to just sleep to try to forget his frustrations. He moved closer to his boyfriend, hugging him and kissing his cheek, making him smile. He honestly didn’t know what else to say, so he hoped once again his actions would make up for his lack of words.
They fell asleep together, the exhaustion knocking them out. When they woke up, Hajime thanked Ran again before heading to his office. Their routine continued, as chaotic as always, but there was comfort in knowing they had one another despite it all.