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Buck looks in the mirror as he wraps the end of his tie over the center, pushing the other end of it through the loop, and pulling it tight. After several hours on YouTube, he had finally learned how to tie his own bowtie and he was going to make sure everyone knew it.
He is the picture of perfection in his double-breasted, black blazer, a pair of nicely-tailored black slacks, and a his favorite pair of white Nikes. Honestly, he thinks he could be doing more, but Tommy had said that subtlety was best.
So he had listened — more or less. He thought that double-breasted was simple — and he wasn’t going to ask Tommy’s opinion on it.
Everything at this point was meticulously planned and ready for execution. Maddie was in charge of catering and making sure everyone was fed properly. Eddie was in charge of music and keeping the DJ in his lane. Hen and Karen were in charge of wrangling the children and making sure the didn’t cause any chaos. He can’t think of a single thing he had missed.
His room door is thrown open suddenly, slamming into the wall. He twists around, expecting bad news but all he sees is Tommy.
And he looks…well he looks dazzling. He had elected for a white blazer and dress pants, a navy turtleneck, and his cleanest pair of Chelsea boots. Buck had made sure of that, hiding his favorite — and dirtiest — pair of boots in a place he’d never be able to find them.
“Wha—“ He starts, but is quickly cut off by Tommy quickly turning around.
“Shit!” He slaps a hand over his eyes. “We’re not supposed to see each other before the aisle. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
Buck walks up behind him slowly, sliding a palm down his side and stops at his waist so he can place his chest against his soon-to-be husband’s back. “Hey,” he starts, placing a small kiss to to the back of Tommy’s neck. “What’s wrong? There’s nothing to be freaked about. Everything is going exactly as planned.”
Tommy shakes him loose, starting to pace around the room, a hand still covering his eyes. Buck can’t help but snicker, covering his mouth to try and suppress it.
It does not go unnoticed unfortunately.
“You’re laughing?! We’re about to make the most important decision of our lives. And you’re laughing? Jesus Christ!” He’s sure that everyone who has already arrived and is milling about the house can hear Tommy. Hell, he’s pretty sure the people in the backyard can hear him.
“Babe, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong! The last time I got this close, I left. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We weren’t supposed to get this far. You were supposed to see how much of a loser, loner I am, and then move on. I wasn’t supposed to be it for you. You were supposed to be with someone who really deserves it.”
Buck’s dumbfounded. He’s at a loss for words. This cannot be happening on their wedding day.
“I-I-I’m sorry?” He pauses, taking in a deep breath. “Wanna run that by me one more time?”
Tommy folds, collapsing on the couch, both hands covering his face now and groaning.
Buck sits on the other end of the couch, placing Tommy’s feet in his lap, making sure his shoes don’t hit either pant leg. “Tommy,” he say softly, sliding a hand up one of Tommy’s ankles and stroking it slowly.
“Tommy,” he presses harder, needing some kind of response. He gets another groan. “I’m gonna need actual words here.”
Tommy’s up and pacing again before Buck can stop him. His hands are still covering his face.
“I just—why me?”
“Are you serious?”
Tommy nods his head, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. This must really be eating him up. “I just can’t imagine a world in which you choose me. I-I-I’m such a fucking mess. And—god, you’re so gorgeous.”
“Well, thank you, but I’m not the only gorgeous one here.” He walks across the room to where Tommy is standing now, placing his hands on Tommy’s wrists and pulling his hands away from his face. He keeps his eyes closed. Buck could almost laugh about it. Almost.
“Tommy Kinard,” he starts, placing his hands to either side of his face. “I am marrying you because when I imagine my future, you’re always at the center of it. I can’t imagine living without you. Whatever future you’re imagining I would have if I left right now, doesn’t exist. It’s you; always has been and always will.”
Tommy’s breathing has slowed down, but he doesn’t open his eyes, so Buck takes that as permission to keep going.
“I see us, sitting out on the front porch in the early morning light. I see us barbecuing in the backyard with both of our families over. I see us, walking down grocery aisles and fighting over which type of cereal to get.”
He moves close to Tommy’s ear and whispers, “We both know my choice would win, but who’s counting?” And that gets him a small laugh. Progress.
“You’re in the garage fixing a car, sweaty and so so hot,” he gets an eye crack and winks. Tommy’s body shakes lightly with a suppressed laugh. “I’m in the front yard, making sure the flower beds look good. Also sweaty and so so hot.” Tommy pinches his side.
“Coffee on the counter, long forgotten. Toast gone cold. Champagne in the fridge. Sundays on the couch. Do I need to keep going or am I painting a convincing enough picture here?”
Tommy opens his eyes, a smile on his face. The kind that makes his eyes crinkle in the corners just the way that Buck loves.
“I think I get the idea.” He leans forward, leaning his forehead on Buck’s shoulder. Buck winds a hand around to the back of his neck and scratches at his nape.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.” He kisses his temple. “Do you wanna talk about it? Or is that a conversation for Dana?”
“I think I’ll save this one for the shrink. And then bring it home to you once some things have been figured out. Deal?”
“Works for me. Just as long as we circle back to it eventually. I never want you to feel like you’re inadequate in this about-to-be-marriage. Or in life.”
“I know, I know.” He groans, but it’s far less stressed than it was just moments ago.
“You’re so important to me, Tommy.” He moves Tommy’s head so they’re eye-to-eye. “You might be the most important person in my life.”
He watches as Tommy’s eyes well up with tears. “I’ve ruined everything haven’t I?”
“Absolutely not.” Buck uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears that have just barely fallen. “We have a house full of people who love us and want to celebrate us. I mean,” he waves a hand around, “your aunt flew in from wherever the hell it is that she lives. I think she deserves a party. Ya know…before she dies.”
“Evan!” He slaps his shoulder, but is laughing all the same. He wants to make Tommy feel like this forever. He just needs Tommy to believe it too.
Tommy wipes his face and takes several deep breaths in. Then he looks Buck up and down. And then he does it again. And then one more time.
“Wow,” he lets out slowly.
“Oh, what? This? Just a little something I cooked up. Nothing special.”
“You are the finest piece of ass I have ever seen.”
“Aww, you have such a way with words.”
“If we didn’t have a house full of people — and a very important ceremony to attend — I would take you apart right here, right now.” Buck can feel his cheeks warm, knows that he’s blushing.
He pulls a quick one, turning around and placing a hand over his eyes. “I’m sorry, but what was that about rules? Not seeing each other or whatever?”
“Brat.” Tommy placed himself against Buck’s back and leaned in close, pulling the lobe of his ear between his teeth.
“Rules are rules, I’m afraid.” Tommy sighs behind him and places a kiss to his neck. “I am going to marry the shit out of you.” Buck can’t help but smile in response, sure that Tommy can see it in the reflection of the mirror.
“I’ll see you at the altar,” Buck throws back before he hears the click of the door.
He removes his hand and gives himself another once-over in the mirror before deicing there’s nothing else to be done. He’s ready.
In a few moments, Maddie will come find him, do last checks, and walk him out to the backyard where everyone who’s ever mattered to him will be. And he’ll walk down the aisle and profess his love to the man he wants by his side for the rest of his life.
And then he’ll get to actually paint that picture he was talking to Tommy about. Forever.