Archive of Our Own

He never thought his best friend to be cruel, and he never would've if he didn't leave like it was nothing, only scribbling a sorry excuse of an explanation onto a crumpled piece of paper.

Dad wants to move the business back to Korea. 

No way to communicate with him once he was gone, not even a proper goodbye. Nothing. Mark tried to call his number the second he found the note Donghyuck left under his pillow the day after their last ever sleep over, but all he got was:

We’re sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service—

When Donghyuck had first moved to Mark’s school at the start of 9th grade, the boy instantly clicked with him. They were a part of the smaller group of Korean students in a high school in the Chicago suburbs so naturally, they grew close. Mark helped Donghyuck expand his English knowledge, and in return, Donghyuck became his best friend, the one that would eventually become the first and only person Mark loved romantically.

One thing Mark’s old friend group would joke about was how he and Donghyuck were practically attached at the hip. They weren’t wrong either; he and Donghyuck were attached at the hip. If one of them went somewhere, so did the other. If one wasn’t there, then the other was sure to be missing as well.

Their closeness was one of the main reasons as to why Mark’s feelings towards Donghyuck turned into romantic ones. He saw him as a place of comfort—someone who saw and understood him in a way no one else ever could.

And then, a few weeks after their high school graduation, he was gone. 

Just like that.

And Mark was left with messy handwriting on a crumpled up piece of notebook paper.

。°。°。°。°。°

Even now, six years after Donghyuck left him, Mark still isn’t over him. While he tries to forget him, it’s hard to forget the person you called your best friend and soulmate. He has tried dating other people—men and women—but none of them felt like him.

None of them had his contagious laugh, none of them remembered every little thing about Mark, none of them ever got to know Mark well enough to be able to tell what he is thinking without him needing to say a word.

Sometimes, Mark feels pathetic for not being able to get over Donghyuck. They never even dated—Donghyuck never knew how Mark felt. He never knew he was his gay awakening. But even so, there’s still a Donghyuck shaped hole in his heart.

Sometimes Mark thinks about what could’ve been had he confessed to Donghyuck all those years ago. It’s something that keeps him up at night, and also a conversation he always finds himself having when he and Johnny go for drinks after work.

Mark met Johnny at his job, they’re both translators at the same agency. However the relationship he and Mark have is nothing like coworkers, but close to one of brothers. He’s the person Mark can rely on for anything, and also the only one who knows of Donghyuck and everything that comes with Mark’s feelings towards him.

“I just—” Mark sighs, setting his fork down with a soft clink. “I don’t know, Johnny.”

Johnny swirls his wine around in his glass, taking the final, long sip before setting it down. “Mark, are you really going to hold onto him forever? I mean, he left you. Like you didn’t mean anything to him.”

Mark drops his head onto his hands, no longer hungry. “I know that. It’s just… I can’t see anyone like I saw him. Don’t you remember Joshua? He broke up with me because he could tell I didn’t love him.”

“And before him, there was Alina,” Johnny adds, shaking his head. “Didn’t she break up with you because you forgot about her?”

“I didn’t forget about her.”

“But she wasn’t your priority.”

Mark peeks up at Johnny through his fingers, meeting his friend’s sympathetic gaze. He’s right. Alina was someone Mark liked, but never loved. She wanted marriage, kids, a future with him. But Mark just wanted to get over Donghyuck. Wanted to forget him.

“Look, all I’m trying to say is that maybe it’s… time to move on. I know you tried a few times, but I think you gave up too quickly.”

Mark swallows, straightening up in his chair. “You know how people are these days, Johnny. All they want is sex. Or money. It’s kinda hard to fall for someone who looks for those things before they even look at me.”

Johnny hums. He got lucky in the dating scene and found himself a boyfriend a few years before he met Mark, but he still understands where Mark is coming from. “I think the right person will come to you naturally.”

“Like how you found Ten?”

“Yeah.”

Their conversation fades from Mark’s love life to less interesting topics, until they’re sat on Johnny’s couch, watching some movie they found after scrolling through various streaming services. It’s one of those romance movies where love at first sight is very much real and the love interest is some perfect man who can’t ever seem to do anything wrong and practically kisses the ground under the main character’s feet.

“This is kinda stupid,” Johnny comments, yawning dramatically when the love interest shows up to the main character’s house in the rain. “And dramatic.”

Mark huffs a laugh, taking his glasses off to clean them with a loose napkin on the coffee table. “Well, that’s what happens when you choose a movie called “Season of Love.”

“It sounded interesting.”

Mark rolls his eyes, fixing his glasses back onto his face. “I think Ten is getting to you. He only ever watches these kinds of movies, doesn’t he?”

The older man sighs. Mark is right—his boyfriend is more into romance than he is action or thriller. “Yeah. But I watch them because it makes him happy.”

“Yuck.” Mark sticks his tongue out in mock disgust, chuckling when Johnny makes the same face back at him. “We could’ve just watched a Spider-Man movie or something…”

“You and your Spider-Man. Haven’t you watched like every version or something?”

Mark nods, a fond smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah, me and Donghyuck would—” he pauses, his smile and shoulders dropping, expression turning into one of an abandoned puppy. “…do movie marathons,” he finishes, despite the ache in his heart and the twist of his stomach.

He doesn’t notice when Johnny pauses the movie, the thickness of the air between them almost becoming too much for him to handle. That singular memory of him and Donghyuck laying on their stomachs under the covers of Mark’s bed while they watched movies on Mark’s crappy Chromebook is enough for him to think of all their other moments—the time they went to the water park, the time Mark taught Donghyuck to swim, the time he held Donghyuck’s hand at the hospital after he broke his arm while playing in Mark’s backyard. 

That day at the hospital was the day Mark realized his feelings for Donghyuck. The way his heart ached so badly seeing the poor boy cry his eyes out at the pain of his broken bone made him want to make sure he never even got another paper cut. It made him want to protect Donghyuck from every bad thing in the universe, made him want to make sure Donghyuck only saw the pretty parts of life.

He looked so fragile, but his hand never let go of Mark’s, his hold tight despite the way he trembled. He—

“Mark,” Johnny says, snapping him back to reality. “Dude, are you okay? You’ve been staring at nothing for the past five minutes.”

“Oh.” Mark huffs an awkward, forced laugh. “Have I? I’ve been tired these days. Sorry.”

Johnny stares like he doesn’t believe him. “About what I said earlier—”

Mark stands abruptly, knocking over a throw pillow in the process. He picks it up, straightens it on the couch, and turns to Johnny. “It’s okay. I’ll just go now, I’m sure Ten will be home soon, right?”

Johnny nods. “You know he doesn’t mind when you stay over though, right?.”

“I know.” He walks over to the kitchen table where his coat lies over one of the chairs. “I just want to be alone tonight.”

Johnny stands, following Mark to the doorway. “Alright, man. But tell me if you need anything, okay? You’re free to come back and talk if it becomes too much for you.”

Mark forces a smile, putting one arm through his coat, then the other. “What are you talking about? Everything is fine, I swear.”

“You froze after you mentioned Donghyuck again. I don’t think it’s fine.”

Mark swallows, then clears his throat. “Right…” he slips his shoes on, not bothering with the shoelaces, shoving them into the sides of his shoes instead. His car isn’t far anyway. “Well, I’ll see you later.”

The older man nods, opening the door for Mark. “See you.” 

Mark doesn’t wait for the door to close. He waves once and then he’s gone—down the hall and out of sight before Johnny can get another word in.

Ding

Johnny: Hey

Johnny: You left before I could tell you, but one of Ten’s friends is interested in meeting you.

Johnny: You can say no if you want to, but he’s a sweet guy. I would give him a shot, maybe he’ll be the one?

Johnny: Here’s his contact info: [ UNKNOWN CONTACT ]

。°。°。°。°。°

It takes Mark a few more days before he finally contacts the person Johnny said wanted to meet him.

His name is Renjun, an interior designer who likes gardening but hates bugs.

He and Mark have been texting for a little over a week, and Mark can’t say he’s not sweet like Johnny said he was. He’s interesting and seems to appreciate Mark’s stupid jokes, so naturally, they end up going on that date Renjun mentioned in one of their first conversations. 

The date isn’t anything too fancy—just dinner at a local Mexican spot Renjun said he wanted to try. Mark still dresses up though, anything too crazy, but enough to say he tried. 

When Mark picks Renjun up to go to dinner, the vibes are immediately off. Not that there’s something off about Renjun, but rather it feels like he’s going to eat with a friend, not a potential partner. 

Despite the initial throw-off, the conversation between them runs smoothly, from what they each do for work to their future goals in life. One thing Mark definitely likes about Renjun is that he knows what he wants. He’s dating to marry, though same-sex marriage isn’t valid in China, it definitely is in Illinois, and he plans to take advantage of that to settle down and eventually adopt a cat or maybe even a child.

“What about you?” Renjun asks, taking a sip of his horchata and making a pleased expression at the taste of the milky drink.

“Honestly, Renjun, I don’t want kids,” Mark replies, watching as the man’s face drops slightly. 

“That’s understandable,” he says, setting his cup down. “It’s not a big deal breaker for me.”

Mark smiles, though it’s mostly forced than it is natural. He definitely doesn’t see this date going anywhere. He glances away, his eyes locking onto the rice that has mostly gone cold on his plate. The food at the restaurant is good—well seasoned and warm. It feels like home, though Mark hasn’t ever been one to eat Mexican food, it’s still comforting.

The waitress comes over after both Renjun and Mark have finished eating, taking their plates and then bringing the bill at Mark’s request. He pays for the meal, putting his coat back on and helping Renjun’s into his after watching himself struggle with his bracelet which caught onto the fabric of his coat.

“Ready to go?” Mark asks, pushing in his chair. Renjun nods, following Mark out the restaurant and back into his car.

The drive to Renjun’s place is mostly in silence, due to Mark trying to find a way to tell him that he thinks they’re better off as friends. Yeah, they’re quite compatible, but Mark really can’t see anything other than a good friendship with Renjun.

Once at the parking lot of Renjun’s apartment building, he sighs, putting the car in park to turn to face Renjun.

“I really enjoyed tonight—”

“Renjun, I think—”

They both pause, laughing softly at their perfect timing.

“You first,” Mark offers, his fingers quietly tapping on his steering wheel.

“Right.” A soft flush washes over the apples of Renjun’s cheeks, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I really enjoyed tonight,” he starts, and Mark’s stomach drops.

Crap. He’s going to want a second date, isn’t he?

“I really like you, Mark,” He continues, his cheeks darkening in color. “I want to try us, maybe we can go on another date?”

Mark blinks, an awkward smile flashing on his face before it drops again. He really didn’t want to let Renjun down like this. He’s sweet and pretty, just nice to be around. But he shouldn’t lead him on like he did with previous partners as he tried to get over Donghyuck, it’s not fair to someone like him—not that it was fair to his exes either. 

“Renjun,” he starts softly, trying to phrase his rejection gently. “I don’t think I can… see you as anything more than a friend.”

Renjun’s face drops.

“I’m sorry. You’re a lovely person and I had a great time, but I don’t see myself feeling anything romantic for you.”

He nods, giving Mark a sad smile. “I understand,” he says quietly, taking his seatbelt off. “Thank you. For dinner, and for giving me a chance.”

“There’s no need to thank me,” Mark says. He feels bad. He really does, but he can’t force his feelings, God knows where that has gotten him before. “It was a pleasure meeting you. We can still be friend’s, if you’d like.”

Renjun never messaged Mark again.

。°。°。°。°。°

The following weeks pass by in a blur, and Mark eventually forgets about Renjun. (If only he could do that for Donghyuck.) On some days, the pain was less—more like a quiet ache that came back only when he saw something that reminded him of Donghyuck. He thinks he’s made progress, until it all gets flushed down the toilet.

At work, of all places.

Mark got a client who recently moved to Chicago from Korea, and apparently, it’s not his first time living here. It sounded like an oddly familiar situation to Mark, but what are the chances, right? Many men around his age are Korean, and many of them move around over the course of their lives, so surely, it couldn’t possibly be him.

Somewhere deep inside Mark, past the parts of him wishing it were Donghyuck, he secretly hopes its not him. He doesn't think he can face him like this. He doesn't think he can face him at all.

He’s already running late to their first meeting, his coffee that is responsible for his tardiness almost spilling out the small opening at the top of the to-go cup. He knocks on his office door before letting himself in, greeting the man with a “hello,” and a “how are you,” like normal.

“I’m good,” he says, standing to greet Mark properly. “You?”

Mark’s shoes make a disgusting, high pitched screech against the polished floor as he freezes, the sound of the man’s voice slapping him in the face. 

He gulps, turning his head slowly.

It’s as if time stops the second he lays his eyes on the man before him. That tan skin, those pink lips, round eyes, and of course, that constellation of moles that run from his left cheek down to his neck. Mark gulps, his eyes widening and his lips parting as if he were going to say something, but the words get caught in his throat.

Donghyuck. Donghyuck is right here, in Mark’s office. Like it’s completely normal for him to just… show up. 

“Mark?” Donghyuck says first, his expression a mix between horrified and excited, though Mark can’t tell which one of the two it is for sure, and it scares him. “Mark, is that you?”

He’s definitely excited. He has to be, or else he wouldn’t be throwing himself at Mark, his arms wrapping tightly around his neck, scent filling Mark’s nostrils.

“Donghyuck,” Mark manages to murmur, his hands firmly gripping onto Donghyuck’s waist, but not to pull him closer. To break the contact. “Donghyuck, what are you… why are you here?”

Donghyuck backs up, clearly noticing the distance Mark wants between them. “I’m back!” He says, his smile becoming a little sheepish when he realizes Mark doesn't look nearly as excited as he does.

Mark swallows hard, his hands still on Donghyuck’s waist, grip loosening slightly. He doesn’t know what to say. His best friend—or should he say ex-best friend—is in his office, looking for his services. This isn’t right.

It has to be a dream, right?

Mark blinks once, twice, and when Donghyuck doesn’t disappear, his heart starts racing, blood rushing to his face. Every memory, every feeling—romantic and platonic—returns to him.

“Mar, are you okay?”

There it is, that damn nickname. 

Donghyuck would always call him anything but his name. Melt, Milk, Mart, Mar, Mel, basically anything that sounds close to Mark, but isn’t quite Mark.

Donghyuck’s hands come up to gently frame Mark’s face. He has become more touchy, apparently. 

“Seriously, you’re so red.. are you okay? Do you have a fever?” He feels around Mark’s face and neck, frowning when he doesn’t feel Mark’s temperature out of the ordinary.

Mark’s hands drop from Donghyuck’s waist, his professionalism suddenly returning to him when he remembers that he’s at work, and Donghyuck is still a client. “Um.” He grabs Donghyuck’s wrists, pulling his hands away from his face. “Sit down, please.”

Mark takes a deep breath to compose himself, his eyes glued to the dark wood of his desk before they finally glance up, meeting Donghyuck’s gaze. He looks so… different. Well, not different as in unrecognizable, but more like… his boyish features were replaced with more delicate ones. 

Donghyuck’s hair isn’t dark brown anymore, but instead a warm, honey brown that complements his tan complexion. His lips are fuller, pinker, his eyes still round and doe-like, but they lost some of the mischief they once carried 24/7. His skin is definitely smoother now, free of the acne he battled in high school, and Mark kind of wants to reach out and run his thumb over those four little moles on his cheek, kiss every single one while he whispers sweet words straight on his skin—

…Okay. So the feelings are definitely still there. And this new appearance definitely isn’t helping him hide them. If anything, it’s only exposing him. His face grows redder, all the way up to the tips of his ears where he’s sure he could evaporate water with the amount of heat radiating off of them.

Mark clears his throat, taking a sip of his coffee that ends up being too bitter and burns his tongue. His face scrunches up at the sting, and Donghyuck laughs at his reaction.

“You okay?” He asks, his tone playful as ever.

Mark nods, forcing the scolding hot coffee down his throat, burning it in the process. “So,” he clears his throat once more, but the lingering sting makes it ineffective. “You’re here because you need a translator, correct?”

Donghyuck hums. “Yeah, but we can talk about that later.” He leans forward, propping his chin up on his hand, those big doe eyes staring up at Mark. “How have you been?”

“Donghyuck,” he tries to warn, but fails as that pretty look resurfaces the memory of those puppy eyes Donghyuck once gave him whenever he would convince Mark to do something neither of them should’ve been doing. “I’m working, you’re paying to meet me right now. Let’s not waste your money and actually talk about the services you need.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes in that way Mark recognizes as playful. It tugs at his heart, though Mark wishes it didn’t. Because while that was an annoying thing Donghyuck once did as a teenager, now it’s… kinda hot.

He probably shouldn’t be thinking that, though. He’s at work, he needs to be professional. Right now, Donghyuck is just another client, not his ex best friend and definitely not the person he can’t get over.

“So, why do you need a translator?” He asks, trying not to drown in the amount of emotion he’s experiencing solely because of the man sitting across from him.

“It’s my dad’s company that wants a translator,” Donghyuck explains once he realizes Mark won't budge. “They need someone who can translate legal documents and stuff.”

Mark hums. “I can’t help you with that, but I’ll give you the information of someone who can.”

Donghyuck blinks. “What? What do you mean you can’t help me?”

“Well,” he starts, sliding over a business card to a different department within the agency. “I do financial translations, not legal.”

“Oh.”

The clock on the wall ticks softly, filling the silence they fall into. Donghyuck looks… disappointed. Almost as if he wasn’t even there for a translator. His eyes drop to the card on the table, then flick up to Mark’s still expression. He grabs the card, forcing a small, polite smile.

“If that’s all,” Mark starts, trying to ease the tension. “Then we can wrap this up. I’ll put on your file that you’re not my client anymore—”

“Wait,” he interrupts, a worried look washing over his features. “When can I see you again?” Mark’s professional facade falters for a moment, and Donghyuck continues, “Can I have your number? So we can catch up. Like before.”

。°。°。°。°。°

Mark stares at the contact on his phone, unsure of how he got here. It feels unreal, honestly. To have Donghyuck’s current contact information like he didn’t cut him out of his life with barely an explanation. Part of Mark is upset. Upset that he didn’t tell him anything about leaving back then, upset that he’s so different and Mark wasn’t there to grow with him, upset that he’s acting like nothing has changed. As if he never left.

He shuts his phone off, instead staring at the three stripes of lights that wash over his otherwise dark ceiling. The sight is oddly soothing. Maybe it’s because it’s something Mark is so used to seeing every night, or maybe it’s because it’s the one thing that never really changes.

He tries to sleep, but only ends up tossing and turning, his mind replaying his interaction with Donghyuck earlier that day. He still can’t believe Donghyuck is back. After all these years. 

In movies—or rather, poorly made soap operas—they often say that the heart beats the name of the person you love. And while Mark knows that could never really happen, it feels as though his heart beats Donghyuck’s name with the way it’s banging against his ribs like it used to when he was a teenager. 

Though the racing of his heart is the same, the person who it’s racing for isn’t. Donghyuck and Mark didn’t speak much earlier, but Mark could tell. Donghyuck has changed in more ways than just his appearance. 

。°。°。°。°。°

Mark doesn’t text Donghyuck. Actually, he even thinks of deleting his contact off his phone. It feels so wrong to have it, because his heart aches for the Donghyuck he once knew—not for the Donghyuck that suddenly showed up at his job.

A few days pass and Mark thinks he’s in the clear. He can pretend he never even saw Donghyuck, that the man he saw was just a stranger with his name, his face, his voice. 

But of course, the universe has other plans for him.

The first thing that goes wrong on his already busy Saturday is that the coffee shop he often frequents is closed for whatever reason. It’s fine, Mark can just go to another store. No big deal, right?

It is, in fact, a big deal.

Who does he run into at the packed, overpriced coffee shop? Donghyuck. And he looks somehow even more breathtaking than he did the last time Mark saw him. 

Donghyuck’s outfit is mostly covered by his long coat, but the coat is cinched at the waist, accentuating his figure. A figure Mark definitely isn’t used to. Last he remembers, Donghyuck was a scrawny boy with bad posture who played too many video games. But now? Now he’s someone Mark can’t take his eyes off of, even if he’s trying his best to not be noticed.

True to his unlucky fashion, he does end up getting noticed.

“Mark!” He says, his smile bright and sweet. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Mark nods, shuffling up in line. 

Donghyuck falls into place next to him, and no one complains about him cutting the line, probably assuming he’s with Mark. “Sorry I haven’t texted you, by the way. I’ve been busy settling into my new apartment.”

That intrigues Mark. He was under the impression Donghyuck had been in Chicago longer than Mark was aware of. “You just got here?” he ends up asking.

Donghyuck nods. “Yeah, about a week ago.”

“And they already have you working?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “You know my dad. But it’s not that bad, really.”

Mark hums, itching to ask more, but it’s his turn in line. He orders his coffee, and somehow ends up buying for both him and Donghyuck, who gets three different kinds of baked goods as if he were the one paying. 

They sit at a table they were lucky enough to find in the busy establishment, and for a second, Mark finds it eerily similar to dates he has been on. The one-on-one conversation that flows stiffly as they try to get used to each other once more.

“So,” he clears his throat, trying hard to not stare at Donghyuck and his radiating beauty. “How are you liking the city?”

Donghyuck takes a nibble at the muffin he ordered, making a little noise that signifies he enjoys the treat. “It’s nice,” he says, smiling in a way that makes Mark’s stomach do a back flip. “But it’s so different from the suburbs from when we were kids.”

“Yeah.”

“It kinda reminds me of Seoul,” he continues, taking a sip of his coffee. “The fast paced living, I mean.”

Mark nods, but that word stings. Seoul. The place Donghyuck ran off to after graduation. His mind fills with an excessive amount of questions. How was Donghyuck’s time there? Who did he meet? How did he spend his time? Had he… found someone there? Did he fall in love? Was his heart broken for the first time? Did he—

“Enough about me,” Donghyuck says, cutting Mark’s thoughts short. “How about you? How have you been?”

Mark gulps down the last bits of his drink, trying to calm the tremble he already knows his voice has. “I’ve been okay. Went to college, got a job, and that’s pretty much it.”

Donghyuck hums as if he were expecting a different answer. “And… Did you find someone?” He asks, lowering his voice slightly, though it’s highly likely no one around them cares about their catching up. “Like, a partner?”

Mark stares at the curious eyes in front of him, and for a split second, he sees that look Donghyuck would always give him all those years ago. “N-No,” he mumbles, biting the inside of his cheek at the stutter. 

Donghyuck raises a brow. “So you haven’t dated? Not a single person?” His tone and expression are skeptical, like he doesn’t believe a word Mark is saying. 

“I mean…” Mark shuffles in his seat, glancing away from Donghyuck’s intense gaze. “I have dated. It’s just they never really… lasted.”

Donghyuck’s body relaxes against the chair, almost relieved that Mark isn’t dating. “I see.”

Mark hums. He wants to ask Donghyuck the same—had he dated anyone? Is he dating someone? But the words get caught in his throat, and he can't find the courage to ask. Before Mark can add anything or excuse himself like he planned to because he doesn’t think he can bear being near Donghyuck for more than half an hour a day, Donghyuck speaks, his calm voice cutting through the thick bubble Mark put himself in.

“Are you doing anything after this?”

Yes. Mark has a lot of things to do, actually. He has some work stuff to do, as well as some furniture shopping to do because that crappy dinner set he bought off of eBay broke right as he sat. He really should be productive today—

“No, I’m not busy.”

…There goes his productivity.

。°。°。°。°。°

The last place Mark expected Donghyuck to take him was his apartment. There are boxes everywhere, some still neatly packed while others are opened up like Donghyuck’s apartment was looted. It’s honestly a mess, and he’s starting to realize why he was dragged there. 

“Sorry for the mess,” Donghyuck says with an awkward laugh, pushing a half torn bag into the trash can. 

Mark swallows, the state of Donghyuck’s living arrangement already giving him a headache. “It’s fine.” He carefully places his coat on a plastic hook that is messily latched onto the wall. 

“So… why did you bring me here?”

“I was hoping you could help me,” Donghyuck says, biting his bottom lip in that nervous way he always used to. “Not the mess. I just need help building a few things.”

Mark hums. He’ll probably end up cleaning around the apartment anyway, not that Donghyuck can’t do it himself, but because he can’t possibly work under these conditions. 

“Follow me,” he says, already headed towards his bedroom without even waiting for Mark’s agreement. Mark follows anyway though, and thankfully, Donghyuck’s bedroom is more organized than his living room—probably because he spends the better part of his time in there. His mattress is on the floor, and next to it is a big box, which Mark assumes is what Donghyuck needs help with.

“My bed is kinda big.” He pats the box, giving Mark a small smile. “Could you help me build it? Please?”

Mark blinks. He’s okay at building things. Sure, it’s just following instructions, but it still takes him forever to get it done. This is definitely going to take him at least a couple of hours… and then Donghyuck will probably ask for his help elsewhere.

He agrees, despite the slightly icky feeling of being so near Donghyuck again, but not able to tell what he’s thinking anymore. That and the ache of not even getting an apology from him. 

“Wow,” Donghyuck murmurs, looking at Mark’s figure appreciatively when he takes his hoodie off after about an hour of moving heavy wooden pieces around while Donghyuck sits there and occasionally hands him a screwdriver. “You’ve really filled out since high school.”

Mark looks down at himself, huffing a laugh. What he wore under his hoodie is anything but revealing—just a simple t-shirt, though this one is one of the unfortunate ones that shrank a little in the dryer. “Not really,” he mumbles, focusing on the placement of a screw rather than the heavy stare coming from Donghyuck.

“Mm. I disagree,” he says, scooting closer. “Do you work out now?”

“A little,” Mark replies, wiping the sweat beading at his forehead away. God, Donghyuck’s bedroom lacks ventilation. “I go to the gym with Johnny a few times a week.”

Donghyuck’s posture straightens. “Johnny? Who is Johnny?”

That tone… it’s familiar. But Mark can’t quite remember when it was that Donghyuck last used it. Was it the time in senior year when a girl confessed to Mark? The tone gets Mark to turn his head towards Donghyuck, only then realizing how close he had gotten.

“He’s my coworker. And friend,” he clarifies, swallowing hard before shuffling away, pretending to need a piece he doesn’t actually need yet.

Donghyuck nods, but he’s still squinting slightly. “Okay.”

“Could you uh… open the window or something?” Mark asks, fanning himself. “It’s hot in here.”

Donghyuck hums and gets up, his knee brushing lightly against Mark’s back, but it’s enough for him to straighten up, a shiver running up his spine despite the heat he just complained about.

Mark stands up with a heavy groan. It only took him three hours and a couple of progress damaging mistakes to build Donghyuck’s bed all by himself, because even though he had said Mark was only “helping,” Donghyuck didn’t do a thing of actual building. It’s fine though, Mark likes helping like this, even more if it’s Donghyuck he’s helping.

“This is a good spot for it, right?” Mark asks, secretly hoping Donghyuck says yes, because he really doesn’t want to move it. Donghyuck has an awfully large bed, especially for just one person. It makes him wonder if maybe he doesn't live alone.

“Yep,” Donghyuck says, padding over to where they had moved his mattress. “I just need the mattress on it now.”

"You better actually help this time."

Donghyuck laughs, grabbing onto the other end of the mattress and lifting it at Mark's call. “Oh come on. I’m not that bad, I can do this much.”

Mark shakes his head, secretly also laughing at Donghyuck’s dumb little pout that he actually finds quite cute, though he’d never tell him that to his face, or else Donghyuck might start to abuse the power he has over Mark. Again.

Donghyuck flops back onto the mattress with a heavy sigh once it’s in place, acting as if he didn’t do more than just talk Mark’s ear off for the past few hours. “That was tiring,” he complains, grinning at Mark’s sigh. 

Mark hovers, not sure if he should sit or not.

“Sit,” Donghyuck says, patting the mattress firmly, and only then does Mark sit down on the very edge, not wanting to disturb even if he was invited.

Donghyuck snorts. “What kind of sitting is that?” He reaches over, grabbing Mark’s arm and tugging him with all his might, forcing him to lay on his side, their noses inches away from touching.

The air in Mark’s lungs instantly leaves him, his heart already beating wildly. This position… it reminds him of the sleepovers they’d have, how sometimes—though kinda creepy—he’d watch Donghyuck’s sleeping form, admiring his cute features.

Those cute features now, while still cute, are a different level of beauty. Something Mark never thought was possible on a man, yet here is Donghyuck, looking like an angel with those loose, honey brown curls framing his face so prettily.

He gulps, eyes dropping to Donghyuck’s plump lips for a moment as he begins to speak.

“I’m sorry,” Donghyuck murmurs softly, his eyes searching Mark’s intently. “For leaving you so suddenly.”

Mark doesn’t say anything. Not that he can, anyway. If he tried, his voice would probably come out in an embarrassingly high pitch.

“I didn’t know how to tell you, Mark,” he continues, his voice lowering into something more intimate. “And… I had no way to contact you after I left. I didn’t know I wouldn’t be able to use my old phone once I left the country.” Donghyuck’s voice thins out, and all they do is stare, speaking with their eyes like before.

“I hope you can forgive me.”

Mark gulps. His cheeks are probably bright red by now, and his heart definitely hasn’t calmed down yet, but he reaches out anyway, pulling Donghyuck into a tight hug. “Of course I do,” he whispers into his ear, then nuzzles his nose into his shoulder. 

He smells really good, he thinks. 

Donghyuck’s arms wrap around Mark’s waist, pulling him close until every bit of their bodies are touching. “I missed you, Mark.” 

“I missed you so much.”

The hug goes on for well over five minutes, neither of them quite ready to let go. Maybe it’s because Mark has been helping Donghyuck for a few hours already, but he nearly falls asleep in his arms. That, or it’s the almost overwhelming feeling of safety he has being in Donghyuck’s arms that gets him sleepy.

“Mark?” Donghyuck finally whispers, his hands gently running up Mark’s back. Throughout the hug, Mark somehow ended up laying half on top of Donghyuck, and it was getting a little suffocating. “Mark, I can’t breathe.”

Mark immediately lets go of Donghyuck, supporting himself on his elbows, all while Donghyuck lays under him, his face all flushed. 

He looks so… pretty? Maybe not pretty, but Mark doesn’t have another way to describe him. If he could think of a better fitting word for the way Donghyuck looks under him, like he’s meant to be there, he’d definitely use it. There might just not be any word in existence to perfectly capture Donghyuck’s essence. He watches Donghyuck’s throat work as he swallows hard, and for some reason, that sends all the blood in his body back into his face, turning him into a beet.

“Sorry,” he coughs, getting off of Donghyuck, sitting next to him instead. 

The mattress dips under Donghyuck’s weight as he sits up as well. He isn’t making eye contact with Mark anymore. Weird. He’s been good at looking Mark in the eye all day. Maybe almost too good.

“It’s okay.” Donghyuck shifts, hands in his lap. The air between them grows tense, not an uncomfortable tense, just tension that comes with not acknowledging the shift between them.

“You—”

“I’m gonna—”

They both freeze, lips parted mid-sentence. Mark swallows, getting reminded of the date he had with Renjun not too long ago where the same exact thing happened. And like then, Mark says, “You first.”

Donghyuck clears his throat, and it’s clear that whatever is unspoken between them is weighing down on him too. “You should stay,” he says. “It’s getting late.”

Mark considers the offer, even if he was already sure he’d leave. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle being near Donghyuck much longer today. “Thanks,” he starts, giving Donghyuck the best smile he can muster at the moment. “I think I’ll go though. I don’t want to bother.”

“You’re not a bother,” Donghyuck shuts down the idea immediately, standing up so fast he gets a little dizzy. “Stay.”

Mark nibbles on his bottom lip. Why is Donghyuck so insistent on him staying? “No really, it’s fine.”

“Okay,” Donghyuck breathes, stepping closer. “I’ll walk you out.”

。°。°。°。°。°

Did Mark give into Donghyuck’s apology too easily? 

This is what has been swirling in his brain ever since he tucked himself into bed and shut the lights off. He had done a pretty good job at thinking about everything but the fact that he immediately forgave Donghyuck without even talking about it further, but now that it’s just him and the dark silence of his bedroom, he can’t escape the thoughts anymore.

Was he too eager to forgive? Or was he never upset about it in the first place?

Yes, he was. Very, actually. For the first few weeks after Donghyuck left, all he felt was an ache in his chest that manifested into anger towards his best friend. Why would he just… leave? Did he not care about how Mark felt? 

But those feelings soon left him, as reality sunk in. He wouldn’t have his best friend in his life anymore, and he had no option but to move on.

And then he wasn’t able to.

And then Donghyuck returned. 

What was he supposed to do? He can’t stay angry forever. Hell, he couldn’t even stay angry for more than a month before he realized the hole Donghyuck left in his heart.

A deep sigh slips past Mark’s lips, and he turns over to his other side as if he were one of those rotisserie chickens at Costco. The ones that are constantly rotating. 

Yeah, that’s how Mark feels. Like a damn chicken. And not just because he’s tossing and turning through his sleepless night, but also because he couldn’t say much to Donghyuck after his apology. Because he couldn’t muster the courage to tell him he missed him too. Because he didn’t just lean down and kiss him when he was basically pinning him down to the bed earlier. Mark doesn’t know if Donghyuck likes him back—he probably doesn’t, given how long they’ve been apart. 

But the temptation to kiss his best friend—if he can even call Donghyuck that right now—was still there. Is still there. Because why would someone walk around with the prettiest, most plush pink lips and expect people to not want to kiss them? 

The room grows warm, and Mark can’t help but wonder… what would Donghyuck look like under him? He already knows how he looks under him because of earlier, but that was clothed. What if he wasn’t? What if he was flushed from the heat, lips parted in soft moans as Mark—

Mark blinks, catching the thought before it can turn into something further. That’s definitely enough for one night.

。°。°。°。°。°

When Mark wakes up the next day, it doesn’t feel like he slept at all. Though he doesn’t remember dreaming anything, he does wake up… disturbed. As if he were some high schooler again. 

He really shouldn’t be having these thoughts about Donghyuck, especially not now when they just reunited.

If Mark is honest, he still can’t tell if he forgave Donghyuck way too easily. While his reasoning from the night before is still pretty valid in his opinion, he still can’t help but feel like maybe they should’ve spoken more on the matter.

Not much he can do now, he guesses.

Mark’s day actually goes better than he expects today. His favorite coffee shop is actually open, it isn’t as busy as usual, and by the afternoon, he’s done with his work and all he has left to do is go browse furniture stores for a new dining set. He was supposed to do that yesterday, but then Donghyuck happened. 

Speaking of Donghyuck, he actually messaged Mark earlier. But because he was focused and very determined to get his work done, Mark didn’t get the chance to reply. That was kinda rude of him… it’s been two hours since Donghyuck messaged. He should at least check what he said.

Donghyuck: Mark

Donghyuck: Are you busy today? I kinda need help again…

Mark sighs softly. Either Donghyuck is gonna make him build something again, or he’ll be stuck helping him clean.

Donghyuck: You can say no if you want to

Donghyuck: I just want to see you again.

Oh. Well just because Mark sighed doesn’t mean he was going to say no. 

Maybe he’ll regret this, but…

Mark: I’m free.

Mark: Your place again? 

Mark: Or do you want to meet somewhere else?

Donghyuck: I’m actually at IKEA right now… do you think you can meet me here?

Mark’s eyes snap up, his neck twisting in every direction as he tries to spot Donghyuck’s car in the park lot, forgetting how big the IKEA parking lots are and the fact that he doesn’t even know what Donghyuck’s car looks like. 

He sinks back into his seat, unbuckling his seatbelt to hopefully ease the tightness in his chest after his heart started racing so fast. Donghyuck definitely isn’t good for his heart’s health.

Mark: Oh wow, haha

Mark: I’m at IKEA too.

Donghyuck: Really? Do you think we’re at the same one?

Mark: Most likely. I doubt you drove 40 minutes to the other one.

Donghyuck: Come inside then! Let’s meet up.

Mark shuts his phone off, shoving it into his pocket before getting out of his car. He makes sure the alarm is on before heading inside, and lo and behold, there stands Donghyuck, looking like a lost puppy. It only takes Donghyuck a few seconds to spot Mark, and if he really were a dog with a big fluffy tail, Mark is sure it would be wagging like crazy. 

Donghyuck meets Mark in the middle, a big smile plastered on his face. “Mark,” he says, eyes flicking around Mark’s face, studying his features carefully. “You’re here.”

“You called,” Mark replies smoothly, his hands casually fit in his pockets to stop himself from reaching out and ruffling Donghyuck’s hair or maybe even squeezing his cheek.

Donghyuck’s smile falters for a second, his cheeks taking on a light pink hue. “You said you were already here.”

Mark blinks, only there realizing how upfront that sounded, like he would drop everything for Donghyuck. Which… maybe he would. But that’s not the point here.

“Right,” he shifts on his heels awkwardly. “I was.” 

“What a coincidence, though,” Donghyuck says, following Mark to the escalator. “I was sure you wouldn’t be able to come.”

Mark smiles sideways, glancing down at Donghyuck. He looks so cute like this, he thinks. Like a little teddy bear. “I’d come if you asked,” he admits, stepping off the escalator once they get to the top. 

Maybe he’s being a little too direct, a little too obvious. He doesn’t even know if Donghyuck likes men, yet he can’t help himself. He’s always been the slightly shyer one of the two, so this level of direct… flirting—if he can even call it that—surprises Mark too.

Donghyuck blinks, a small smile flashing on his lips before it disappears, replaced by him clearing his throat loudly. “You have a way with words,” he murmurs, walking alongside Mark through the room sets, barely paying attention to any of the furniture being displayed. “You’ve always had a way with words.”

The mattress dips under Mark’s weight as he sits on a bed in one of the prettily decorated rooms, trying to distract himself from Donghyuck, who keeps making it hard to breathe. “Yeah…” he mumbles, fingers splaying on the soft duvet on the bed. “Hey, this is a nice blanket.”

“That’s a duvet,” He says, sitting down next to Mark, then flopping back like he’s back at home.

“Same thing,” Mark shoots back, glancing down at Donghyuck. “Aren’t you getting too comfortable?”

That earns Mark a soft giggle, his stomach doing a flip when Donghyuck sits back up, resting his head on Mark’s shoulder instead. 

“Should I do this, then?”

Mark shrugs him off gently, standing up and wiping invisible dust off his jeans. “You should get up,” he says, walking over to the connecting bathroom, hoping it’ll hide the way his ears immediately turned red at the littlest bit of contact.

Unfortunately for Mark, Donghyuck follows him all the way into the standing shower, their chests nearly touching from how little room there is. 

“I’m up now,” he says, voice quiet like he’s telling Mark a secret. He gulps, pressing slightly closer. “…what now?”

Mark nearly chokes at the closeness. It’s nothing like the hug they shared the night before or the hug when they first reunited. This is invasive, but not in a bad way. In a way that makes Mark want to just pull Donghyuck in, until every bit of their bodies are touching, lips slotted together, fingers curled in hair—

“Mark?” Donghyuck’s hand gently frames Mark’s jaw. “Hello?”

“Hi,” Mark whispers back stupidly, grabbing Donghyuck’s wrist and carefully removing his hand from his jaw. It feels like his skin burns where Donghyuck touched it. “Let’s.. let’s go check out some other spots.”

Mark brushes past Donghyuck before he can even get a word in, leaving him to follow Mark out of the room.

They continue walking around aimlessly, neither of them really looking for what they came to buy. The conversation between them is smooth, but it carries a slight edge—the same one that formed between them on Donghyuck’s bed last night.

“What did you need to buy, anyway?” Donghyuck asks, browsing the plushies after they somehow ended up in the kids section. 

Mark watches Donghyuck pick up a cheetah plush, examining it carefully before putting it back down. “I need a dining table,” he says, grabbing the same plush Donghyuck did. “Well, more like chairs for my table, but I might as well replace the whole set.”

Donghyuck hums.

“Did you want this?” He asks, waving the plushie in the air. 

A smile spreads on Donghyuck’s lips. “No,” he says, stepping into place next to Mark, completely ignoring the whine of the kid who wanted to look at the plushies they cover by standing there. “You should get it. It suits you.”

Mark scoffs, but he can’t help the stupidly wide smile that appears on his face. “What does that even mean?”

Donghyuck shrugs, taking the plushie from Mark’s hand. He marches off, leaving Mark to stand there with some random little kid and an embarrassing flush taking over his face.

It takes them about two extra hours for them to finally get to the showroom that actually has the stuff Mark’s looking for. They didn’t get lost on the way there—well, maybe they did a little bit—they just kept getting distracted by everything else in the large store. 

The feeling of just existing near Donghyuck, walking around a store without having anything to worry about reminds Mark of back then, when he and Donghyuck would hang out and do nothing just to be together. The memory kinda hurts, but he ignores the feeling, instead letting himself sink into this new one with the new Donghyuck.

“This is a nice table,” Donghyuck says, pulling out a chair and sitting on it. “But the chair is kinda hard.”

Mark snorts, pulling out a chair, taking a seat for himself. “Well, yeah. It’s a wooden chair.”

“You know what I meant,” he says with a laugh and an eye roll, scooting his chair in like he would if he were eating dinner. “It’s a good size, though.”

“Yeah,” Mark agrees, his hands running over the smooth, polished wood. He glances over at Donghyuck, who is already looking at him.

Would now be the time to ask Donghyuck more about back then? He thinks before he can block the following rush of thoughts that flood his brain.

While Donghyuck did already apologize and seemed sincere enough, Mark can’t help but feel like his apology was incomplete, like it was missing something that could change his entire perspective on Donghyuck just… leaving. 

What would he ask, though? He can’t just demand something he isn’t completely sure exists, and he also can’t accuse Donghyuck of something because he doesn’t know what feels off, if anything at all.

If he found out, would it fix the part left damaged inside of him, or would it shatter him completely?

“I’m hungry,” Donghyuck complains for the fifth time in the past ten minutes, panting dramatically as he helps Mark load the table and chairs he did end up buying into his car. “Let’s go to dinner,” he adds, eyes sparkling, probably plotting to make Mark pay for his dinner.

Mark huffs a laugh, climbing into the driver’s seat, Donghyuck following to his window. “I have to take this home,” he says as the window rolls down. “Plus, I have dinner plans already…”

Donghyuck’s face drops. “What? With who?” He asks, leaning forward slightly, his face inches away from Mark’s. “You said you weren’t busy today.”

Mark swallows. He wasn’t busy, however sometime around when he and Donghyuck were looking for the table in the downstairs area of the store to buy it, he had texted Johnny, remembering he hadn’t told him of Donghyuck’s return yet. Sure, he could technically tell him over text, but Mark feels like this is something he needs to say in person and hopefully, Johnny can help him with the whole mess that is his feelings about the situation.

“Johnny,” he replies simply, moving to put on his seatbelt to avoid Donghyuck’s skeptical eyes. 

“Johnny?” Donghyuck echoes, brows furrowing slightly. He sighs, standing up straight and running a hand through his hair. “Okay. I’ll see you next time.”

Mark nods, his heart sinking as he watches Donghyuck’s figure retreat to a different section of the parking lot. He begins to drive, but he can’t help but wonder why Donghyuck looked so upset.

。°。°。°。°。°

Johnny’s apartment is the same as ever, but Mark is anything but. It only took him approximately an hour and a half to go from okay-ish to not okay whatsoever. Obviously, this is all because of Donghyuck. More specifically, that look he gave Mark.

Or should he say looks? Because Mark swears that since yesterday, the looks Donghyuck has been giving him have been anything but normal. There’s this fire in his eyes, one that isn’t anything like the old mischief from back then. It’s almost possessive? It definitely intensifies whenever Mark mentions… Johnny.

The first instance was obviously the day before when Mark mentioned Johnny and Donghyuck got all quiet, his brows twitching in that way they would when Mark would—very rarely—beat him in a game during high school. The second was at the parking lot earlier, and that time, it made Mark’s stomach drop and it also confused the hell out of him. Because why would Donghyuck get upset over Johnny? He’s never been the type to get jealous over Mark’s friends.

Jealous… was Donghyuck jealous of Johnny?

“The pizza will be here soon,” Johnny says, plopping down on the couch next to Mark. He glances over when Mark doesn’t reply, his eyes glued to the coffee table, hands clasped together so tightly that his knuckles turn white.

“Hello?” He nudges Mark’s knee with his own. “Mark?”

Mark blinks, snapping out of his thoughts. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Sounds good.”

“Did you even hear me?” The older asks, leaning back into the couch. 

Mark swallows, his throat suddenly dry. “Um…”

“I said the pizza will be here soon.”

“Right. Thanks”

Johnny lifts a brow at the heavy sigh Mark lets slip past his lips. “What’s wrong with you?”

“…Nothing.” Mark mumbles.

“Bullshit.” He pokes Mark’s lower back, knowing it’ll get him to straighten his back due to his ticklish nature. “Tell me.”

Mark lets out another sigh, his back hunching again despite Johnny’s help. “Donghyuck is back.”

“What?” Johnny shoots up, looking at Mark like he just grew two extra heads. “He’s back? Since when?”

“Last week, he said,” Mark continues, sinking back into the couch as well, mirroring Johnny’s position. “But I’ve seen him three times already.”

“How did you find out?”

“He was my client.”

Johnny’s eyes widen so much that Mark fears his eyes might fall out or something traumatizing like that. “He was your client?”

“Yes.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “He needed our services for his dad’s company, but he didn’t need what I specialize in, so I transferred him to a different team.”

Johnny hums.

Mark’s mind immediately goes back to the past two days—the looks, the apology, the touches, the way some of Donghyuck’s words feel like they have a second meaning Mark isn’t sure he wants to decipher. "And, gosh."

Johnny snorts. “What, is he some ten out of ten now?”

A low whimper leaves Mark, his hands coming up to cover his quickly reddening face. “No, Johnny. He’s like a twenty out of ten. No, actually. No scale is big enough to measure his beauty.”

Johnny gasps. Like, audibly gasps, the kind that would be heard from the crowd during a crucial scene in a Shakespearean play. “So what I’m hearing is that the feelings never left, huh?”

“You already knew that,” Mark groans.

“Well, yeah. But I assume they’re different now that you’ve both grown, right?”

Mark nods. “It feels… strange, honestly. Like I’ll wake up and he’ll be gone all over again.”

Johnny doesn’t add anything more, just lets Mark continue because clearly, his friend needs someone to listen to him more than he needs advice.

“I just…” he hesitates. “I can’t see him like I did before. Does that make sense?”

Johnny nods, and he takes that as a sign to continue. “I don’t necessarily mean it in a bad way, I mean he apologized and everything, and sometimes it feels like he didn’t ever leave. But when I’m left alone with nothing but my thoughts, I can’t help but wonder what his life was like in the years we were apart.”

A silence follows after Mark finishes speaking, and he doesn’t dare to look at Johnny. Not because he’s scared he’s being judged—he knows Johnny wouldn’t judge him—but because he’s embarrassed at the fact that he’s this worked up over Donghyuck when the guy probably isn’t even thinking about him.

“He didn’t explain anything, Johnny,” Mark sighs, running his hand though his hair again, frustrated. “He only apologized. I forgave him on the spot and I still don’t know if I did too easily.” He finally looks over at Johnny, his expression exhausted. “Is it too much for me to ask for more?”

“More of what?” Johnny finally speaks, his tone one of someone who already knows the answer, but is asking anyway. “More explanation? Or more of him?”

The question wakes something in Mark. Another question, not to Donghyuck or Johnny, but to himself. What does he want from Donghyuck? He’s been too focused on Donghyuck and what he did in Korea when really, he should be trying to understand himself, and all these feelings he’s been harboring since the day he realized he was in love with Donghyuck.

“Damn,” he murmurs, his expression thoughtful. “That’s kinda deep.”

Johnny’s phone dings with a notification telling him the pizza arrived. “Well, yeah,” he says, standing from the couch with an exaggerated groan. “You can’t expect a good outcome if you’re only willing to go surface level.”

As the older man goes to pick up the pizza, Mark is left on the couch, lips parted as he realizes that Johnny is right. He needs to untangle everything related to Donghyuck, before their friendship continues like nothing ever happened. Like Donghyuck never left.

。°。°。°。°。°

All Mark wanted to do was get back home in one piece. 

He got off work, annoyed by the way his last client spoke to him and with the fact that it just had to start snowing on his commute back home. It’s not that Mark hates snow—he actually enjoys it. However it simply wasn’t helping his already sour mood. 

His original plan for the rest of the day was simple: pick up dinner—because he definitely is not cooking a thing—go home, and enjoy it all by himself in the comfort of his warm and cozy apartment.

And then, Donghyuck texted. At first he wasn’t going to check because, well, he’s a responsible adult who doesn’t text and drive. But he had just arrived and parked at the fast food place where he was going to get a cheap and lazy dinner from. Luckily for Mark though, Donghyuck’s text brought an invitation for a warm, home cooked meal. Naturally, he accepted the invite. While he is still in a conflicting spot regarding Donghyuck, he could push it to the side for one night.

Or so he thinks.

Mark arrives at Donghyuck’s apartment shortly after getting his message, just barely missing the snowstorm that had been talked about on the news all week. 

Donghyuck’s apartment is notably cleaner now, especially compared to the state it was in the week prior. He actually has his living room free of the cluttering boxes, neatly decorated with a few fake plants and a large rug that has to have cost well over a few hundred dollars. 

“You cleaned up?” Mark asks, more to make conversation because it’s pretty obvious Donghyuck cleaned around his apartment. He slips off his jacket, shaking off the bit of snow he caught on his way in. 

Donghyuck hums, padding over with an extra pair of slippers for Mark to step into once he kicks his shoes off. “Yeah,” he says, placing the slippers in front of Mark. They’re these cute, kitten shaped, calico patterned home slippers. “I got you these,” he adds, beaming. “For when you visit.”

That makes Mark’s heart go crazy. “Why is Donghyuck acting so cute?” Is the only thing he can think of as he steps into the plush slippers, wiggling his feet in them as he gets used to them. “Thank you,” he ends up saying instead of something stupid like “You’re cute.”

Donghyuck simply nods, and it’s then that Mark realizes Donghyuck has his own cute slippers, except his are puppy shaped, not kitty shaped. 

“You have your own?” He asks, his tone amused.

Donghyuck nods again. “They’re cute, right?” He shifts from one foot to the other, almost nervously. “They came as a pair, so naturally, I thought of us,” he adds, voice quieting at the meaningful admission.

Mark laughs it off softly, but he can’t deny the flutter he feels in both his stomach and his heart. He’s been in love with Donghyuck for nearly ten years now, and yet it’s the little things like this that reignite the flame all over again—even if it wasn’t going out to begin with.

They eat dinner together. No phones, no movies, no distractions, nothing. Just them and the conversation that carries such a smooth flow that it makes Mark forget Donghyuck ever left. But of course, that comfort has to be ruined.

“So, did your dad’s company ever get that translator you were looking for?” Mark asks. He has been wondering ever since he directed Donghyuck to a different department, but he just never found the time to ask. What better time than to ask when they’re already talking about everything and nothing at once?

Donghyuck nods, neatly stacking his and Mark’s plates up to make it easier to clean in a moment. “Yeah, but someone else went to the appointment, not me.”

“Oh?” Mark perks up, intrigued. “How come?”

“Someone from the legal team went,” he explains, his eyes darting to his phone as it lights up with a notification. He picks it up, smiles and lets out a quiet laugh, but doesn’t answer—just places the phone on the table again, screen facing down this time. “They were gonna end up using the services anyway,” he continues, like that small pause and light giggle didn’t set something off in Mark.

He stares for a moment. Who texted Donghyuck? And why did he laugh? Why didn’t he reply? Is it even fair for Mark to ask? He should probably let it go, clearly, it’s nothing—

“Who was that?”

Donghyuck blinks, clearly taken aback with the sudden question and the intensity in Mark’s eyes. He clears his throat softly, avoiding eye contact. “Just a friend.”

Mark hums, but he’s biting the inside of his cheek so hard he almost whines because of it. Just a friend? What could the friend have said for Donghyuck to giggle at it? Wait… what friend? From what Mark knows, Donghyuck doesn’t speak to the friends they had in high school anymore—they all thought Donghyuck was an asshole for just leaving them like that.

Was this “friend” from Korea? 

Mark shakes off the thoughts, instead moving to help Donghyuck clean up. He’s here to be with his friend, for God’s sake. There isn’t a need for him to get jealous and worked up over someone who isn’t his. 

They clear the table and wash the dishes in silence. Not a heavy silence, just a comfortable one that they’ve gotten used to being in long ago. Mark washes the dishes, and Donghyuck dries them, their hands occasionally brushing when Mark passes a plate, causing sparks to go up his arm and through his whole body.

It’s fine. He’s used to this—or was used to this. This being these fleeting touches with Donghyuck. He can handle it. He did it back then, he can do it now.

What neither of them realize while stuck in their own little silent bubble is how much the snow outside has picked up. It’s only until Donghyuck’s windows shake from the sheer strength and velocity of the winds that both their heads snap towards the windows.

“Oh,” Mark breaks the silence first, his hands still all soapy from washing the dishes. He rinses and dries them off, brushing past Donghyuck and towards his window. “It’s getting bad out there, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says from behind as he approaches. “It’s barely visible.”

Mark swallows, glancing back. “I should get going, then,” he says, but his tone is hesitant and a little too quiet for his own liking. Truthfully, he’d rather stay with Donghyuck just a little bit longer, maybe they can fall back into that zone where both of them seem to forget about the distance of six years between them.

Donghyuck immediately shakes his head. “No, are you crazy?” He says, brows furrowed. “It’s barely visible,” he repeats, this time with a little more concern in his voice. “How will you drive under these conditions?”

Mark sighs. “But if I go now—”

“No,” Donghyuck cuts in, voice softer but still firm. “It’s dangerous, just…” he reaches out, his hand gently wrapping around Mark’s arm. “…stay.”

Mark’s throat goes so dry he almost chokes. His eyes flick down to where Donghyuck’s body heat is slowly spreading onto him, his cheeks turning a rosy pink. It’s not like staying over at Donghyuck’s is unusual at all. At least, it wasn’t back then. Now… It's a little different.

“…Okay,” he ends up agreeing anyway, because who is he to deny those cute puppy eyes coming from Donghyuck? Plus, it’s not like this is anything weird—it’s just a friend giving another friend a place to stay during a storm. Nothing weird.

They continue the night, moving from the kitchen cleaning to Donghyuck’s couch, which is now so much more comfortable than it looked, given the amount of boxes he had stacked on the poor thing. It’s nice. Simply talking with Donghyuck like he used to, the old jokes they had resurfacing as they reconnect. Like, really reconnect. They talk about their old school, old friends, old memories that became special to the both of them. It’s healing, in a way, because slowly, Mark starts to feel that Donghyuck-shaped hole be filled once again. Maybe this is what he needed.

Eventually, the sun dips, though they couldn’t really see it because of the snowstorm that is still going on, even hours later. Donghyuck leaves to shower, and Mark stays on the couch, not wanting to move from there. He should be getting comfortable anyway—he’ll be sleeping there, after all.

When Donghyuck gets out of the shower, he peeks out of the bathroom. His hair is all wet, and the water honestly looks like it was paid to look good on him as it makes his hair all messy, drips down his forehead and neck and slim shoulders…

“Are you going to shower?” He asks, fully stepping out with just a towel wrapped around his waist. It’s normal. Nearly every guy does that. No big deal. “I have extra towels and some clothes that’ll fit you.”

“It’s fine, I’ll shower when I get home tomorrow,” Mark starts, but gets interrupted by the scoff-like noise Donghyuck makes. 

“And get into my bed all stinky?” He shakes his head, looking almost disgusted. “Hell no, Mark. Get in the shower.”

Mark blinks. “Huh? Donghyuck, I’m not sleeping in your bed.”

“Yes you are,” Donghyuck responds like Mark sleeping in his bed is the most obvious thing ever. “That couch isn’t made for sleeping.”

“It’s comfortable enough—”

“My bed is big enough for two,” he interrupts again, arms crossed over his chest. Mark’s eyes snap down to Donghyuck’s towel-clad waist. When did it get that small..? He felt it the first time they hugged two weeks ago but… damn.

“Hello? Are you getting in or not?”

Mark’s eyes snap back up, and he hopes his face isn’t as red as it feels. He hums, because he knows if he answered in words, his voice definitely would’ve cracked. “Yeah, coming.”

By the time Mark steps out the bathroom—freshly showered and wearing the clothes Donghyuck dropped off for him—the lights in the kitchen and living room are already off. He makes his way to Donghyuck’s room in the dark, careful not to trip over his own feet in the process. Once he makes it to the room, he closes the door behind him, awkwardly shuffling towards the bed.

“Where should I leave this?” He asks, holding up his damp towel and swallowing hard when Donghyuck’s eyes trail over his body before landing on the towel.

Donghyuck points behind Mark, saying, “Just on that hook over there. Next to mine.”

The small walk over to where Donghyuck pointed didn’t do a thing to help Mark calm his racing heart. Even though he and Donghyuck have had multiple sleepovers where they slept in the same bed before, something about this time feels so… different. Like the calm before the storm. Donghyuck’s bed creaks under Mark’s weight as he climbs onto it, settling nearly on the edge, leaving a large gap between him and his friend.

Donghyuck snorts when he turns his head and sees Mark practically falling off the bed. “What are you doing?” He reaches out, pulling Mark closer by his arm, ignoring his groaned protests. “You’re gonna fall off like that, silly.”

“I’m fine,” Mark mumbles, his cheek pressing against the edge of Donghyuck’s pillow. Donghyuck definitely pulled him way too close, Mark can feel their breaths mixing in the little gap between their faces. He clears his throat, flipping over onto his back.

Donghyuck doesn’t turn off the light yet, just dims it and lets the strong winds outside fill the silence between them. Neither of them say anything for several minutes, and at some point, Mark thinks Donghyuck already fell asleep. But when he turns his head, he finds those brown, doe-like eyes staring back at him like he’s the most interesting thing Donghyuck has ever seen.

Something about them—about this moment—brings that sharp pang of jealousy Mark felt earlier. The feeling he thought he compressed and got rid of the second he caught himself. And before he can stop himself, he whispers:

“Did you reply to him?”

Donghyuck’s breathing doesn’t waver. “No,” he whispers back, his voice steady, but his eyes carrying a level of uncertainty that almost spells itself out.

“Why not?” Mark follows up, unable to stop the words from spilling out his mouth. He has never been this impulsive. He has always been one to calculate his next moves, all to not make a mistake and ruin everything.

Donghyuck sighs quietly. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t like him,” Mark blurts, quiet but sure. He almost immediately regrets it, especially because of the way Donghyuck reacts. His brows furrow and his lips dip into a small frown.

“You don’t know him.”

Before Mark can stop himself, he scoots closer, eyes momentarily dropping to Donghyuck’s lips which had stayed parted after he spoke. “I don’t like that he made you laugh like that, Hyuck.”

The way Donghyuck swallows hard is visible, same with the way his touch trembles when he reaches up, grabbing Mark’s bicep gently. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move. 

But then he does. 

His lips slot against Mark’s in a slow, unsure kiss. At first, Mark doesn’t react. But when he does, it’s with all the feelings left buried over the years. All the touches he wished he got, all the things he wished he said, all the times he wished Donghyuck was his, and only his. Mark’s eyes flutter closed, his hand moving under the covers to grab Donghyuck’s waist, pulling him close enough where their bodies are pressed together so tightly that they both know there is no going back from this.

Donghyuck parts his lips in a silent invitation, telling Mark to deepen the kiss. To claim him. And claim Mark does, his tongue slipping into Donghyuck’s mouth, tasting the same minty taste in Mark’s own mouth from the toothpaste they both used after their showers. 

Mark breaks the kiss first, panting heavily against Donghyuck’s lips. He doesn’t open his eyes, but he can feel Donghyuck’s stare. Mark doesn’t think he wants to know how Donghyuck looks right now—it’ll force him to face his feelings. Face himself. Face the fact that he can no longer just be friends with Donghyuck.

“Mark—” Donghyuck begins to whisper, but gets cut off by Mark’s lips, demanding another more intense kiss. He leaves no time for Donghyuck to breathe, his tongue parting his lips, wanting in again.

Donghyuck lets him. He encourages Mark, even. His hands come up, tangling in Mark’s hair as he parts his lips again and their tongues meet messily, exchanging saliva rather than words. Actions rather than feelings.

Somewhere between the wet clicks of their mouths moving in sync and their hands wandering each other’s bodies, Mark ends up on top of Donghyuck, supporting himself on his elbows on both sides of Donghyuck’s body. The position is reminiscent of the day Donghyuck apologized. Only this time, Mark acts on the desire he had back then, and Donghyuck doesn’t deny him. He pulls him closer, his hands dragging down Mark’s back over his shirt, sending shivers down his back despite the warmth of the room.

“Donghyuck,” Mark finds himself mumbling, feeling like he’s watching someone else control his life, and he’s just watching. His hand slides under Donghyuck’s shirt, fingertips feeling the warmth of Donghyuck’s soft stomach. It drags up his shirt, until it’s scrunched up right at the top of his chest, leaving him nearly bare for Mark’s eyes to take in. 

He stares. He can’t help himself—Donghyuck is genuinely breathtaking. Even in the dim lighting, Mark can see every little mole sprinkled on his smooth, tan skin that stretches over every dip and curve of Donghyuck’s body. He wishes he could switch his brain off.

"What if Donghyuck wishes I were someone else?"

The thought flashes in his brain breifly, but it's enough to drain the last bit of hope that this could be something more out of him.

Mark’s eyes continue their path up Donghyuck’s torso, until they land on his face—flushed, devastatingly beautiful, and so, so sure. He gulps. He has never seen that level of intensity in Donghyuck’s eyes. He has never seen his eyelids weighed down with desire like that. And he’s not sure he’ll be able to handle the thought of Donghyuck ever looking at someone else like that. 

For now, maybe he should turn his brain off. Let him feel, not think. He has done it before, and he can do it again.

Mark doesn’t take Donghyuck’s shirt off fully. Even if they’re about to have literal sex, that little detail feels all too intimate. And so does kissing Donghyuck during the act. So, after getting permission from him, Mark strips him of everything but his shirt, then flips him onto his stomach gently. If he can’t see him, then he won’t think about the way he wants to hold him tight and make love to him until they both pass out, sore and satisfied. 

“Lube,” Mark breathes, his voice foreign in the heavy silence. “Do you have lube?”

Donghyuck nods, his hair covering the better part of his eyes. Mark can tell he doesn’t like it, but why he isn’t saying it is something Mark can’t tell, and that itself is scary enough for him to not even ask. 

“In the drawer on your left,” Donghyuck mumbles, his voice muffled from the way his cheek is pressed against his pillow. “Condoms are in there, too.”

Mark reaches over, opening the drawer and pulling both the small bottle of lube and the condoms out with one hand, nearly falling over onto Donghyuck from the weird positioning. Why Donghyuck has an unopened box of size small condoms at the ready is a mystery to Mark, and unfortunately, they aren’t his right fit.

“Um.” Mark clears his throat softly. “These won’t fit.” He pauses, not knowing if he wants to know the answer to his next question, but he asks anyway, not wanting to have unsafe sex with Donghyuck. “…Do you have a bigger size?"

Donghyuck’s ears grow noticeably red—even in the lack of light—but he nods, voice quiet when he speaks. “In the same drawer.”

Mark sticks his hand back into the open drawer, until it bumps into another box. He pulls it out, and thankfully, these fit.

He almost asks why Donghyuck has different condom sizes just stocked up, but he doesn’t. Who Donghyuck fucks in his free time shouldn’t concern him.

He shouldn’t feel jealous over his friend.

Mark is careful when he spreads Donghyuck’s legs, squirting some lube onto his finger and warming it up before tracing his entrance. His finger slides in with a bit of resistance, and Donghyuck lets out a shaky sigh at the intrusion. 

“Tell me if it hurts,” he murmurs, thrusting his finger in and out slowly, until Donghyuck’s hole loosens up around the first one, allowing for a second finger to slide in, easier this time.

“O-kay,” Donghyuck responds, his hand holding onto the pillow next to him like it’s the only thing keeping him sane.

The preparation goes smoothly. No more words, just deep exhales from Donghyuck and the sound of the wind picking up outside the apartment. It feels distant, and while Mark hates that he isn’t kissing and holding Donghyuck close in a moment as intimate as this, he knows that’s not his place. 

This is just sex. Between two friends.

Not weird at all.

When Donghyuck can take three fingers with no problem, only letting out soft moans when Mark brushes past his most sensitive spot, Mark lowers his face down, lips nearly pressing against the back of his ear.

“Are you ready?” he asks in a low whisper, his hardness aching in the pajama pants Donghyuck lent him.

“Yes,” Donghyuck whispers back, glancing at Mark through the mess of his loose curls over his eyes. “I’m ready.”

Mark pulls back, freeing himself of his pants and boxers at once, tossing them someplace he’ll find later before settling back between Donghyuck’s legs. He strokes himself once, twice, then rips open a condom packet, rolling it onto his length and spreading more lube onto himself.

“On your knees,” he instructs quietly, not realizing how demanding his tone really is. When Donghyuck does as he says, lifting his hips but keeping his head buried in the pillow, Mark lines up, his cock circling Donghyuck’s hole gently before slowly pushing past the tight ring of muscle.

Donghyuck’s legs tremble lightly, and he tries to breathe deeply in hopes to loosen up further. Mark pushes in inch by inch, until he’s fully seated, letting out a low groan of relief. His hands go to hold Donghyuck hips, and then he notices it—cute little back dimples that basically invite Mark to press his thumbs into them as he slides out of Donghyuck, then sinks back in. He repeats the motion over and over again, building a steady rhythm, the sound of skin slapping on skin and their combined moans filling the room.

Mark feels like he’s in another world. Not just because Donghyuck feels incredible, but because he just can’t wrap his head around the fact that he’s fucking his best friend. If he’s being honest, he still hasn’t quite fully processed the fact that Donghyuck is back at all. But here he is, hips slapping against the swell of Donghyuck’s ass as his thrusts get harder and faster, chasing the peak of his pleasure.

“Shit…” He curses softly under his ragged breath, watching as Donghyuck’s back arches beautifully, his cries growing louder and louder with each thrust. It doesn’t take long before Donghyuck’s legs give out slightly, and Mark uses it as an opportunity to wrap his arms around him, lifting him so that they’re both kneeling and he can bury his face in Donghyuck’s neck as he thrusts up into him. 

“M-Mark—” Donghyuck chokes on a moan, his head hanging low as if ashamed. He lowers his hand to his flush, neglected and leaking cock, stroking it quickly and in sync with Mark’s thrusts, his moans turning into frequent whimpers he can’t stop from spilling out.

The way Mark’s fingers dig into Donghyuck’s hips is so rough that Mark almost feels bad. But he can’t help himself, because his roughness might be the only thing keeping him in check—otherwise, he might mistake this for something that it’s not. He sucks on the side of Donghyuck’s neck to stop himself from moaning too loudly, leaving a purplish red mark that shines with saliva in the dimly lit room.

A few more thrusts and he’s close, so close. But he can’t come before Donghyuck. Mark reaches one hand down, meeting Donghyuck’s own hand on his cock, stroking it fast and roughly until Donghyuck’s whole body trembles in Mark’s arms as he spills all over their hands and the bed, white stripes of release painting the areas. 

Donghyuck collapses onto the bed, and Mark pulls out, tugging off the condom and stroking himself until he comes too, spilling all over Donghyuck’s pajama shirt.

。°。°。°。°。°

The morning comes before Mark realizes it, blinking slowly up at the ceiling. That dream comes back to him the second his vision unblurs, and it’s almost as if he can feel Donghyuck’s tightness around him, hear his desperate moans. Mark is a little disgusted with himself. Did he seriously have a wet dream about his best friend even after he fed and then gave him a place to stay? What, is he a teenager again? 

At least it was just a dream, or else he wouldn’t be able to face Donghyuck ever again.

Mark shakes the thoughts away, turning on his side in Donghyuck’s direction. He blinks once, twice, and then feels like he can’t breathe.

Donghyuck… is naked. Or at least he’s shirtless, from what Mark can see is uncovered by the blankets. 

He tries to justify it. Tries. Maybe he got hot in the night and took his shirt off. That’s not odd at all, the heater was cranked up due to the snowstorm. 

But no, there’s no reason Mark can come up with for the hickey he very clearly remembers leaving the night before. It’s big. So fucking big. What was Mark thinking, leaving such a big, red—almost purple—hickey on Donghyuck? That’s definitely going to be hard to cover up.

The hickey is really the last of Mark’s problems though. How the hell did he and Donghyuck even end up having sex? One second they were getting ready for bed, and then the next, he had Donghyuck on his knees, crying out Mark’s name like his life depended on it.

How is he going to explain this? He can’t just go up to Donghyuck and say: “I’ve actually been in love with you for nearly ten years and hearing you talk about someone else made me so jealous I had to take matters into my own hands by fucking you into next week.” That’s just… stupid. And also super risky. It could quite literally end their friendship. 

What if Donghyuck doesn’t like him back and was simply pent up and Mark just so happened to be the easiest fuck? That’s a possibility…

Donghyuck stirs next to Mark as he gets lost in “What if’s,” and other imaginary scenarios that are highly likely to never happen. He blinks slowly at the wall, then, thinking Donghyuck is still asleep, peeks over his shoulder. They make brief eye contact before Donghyuck fully flips around, only then realizing Mark is spacing out so hard he didn’t even notice him move.

“…Mark?” He calls out, his voice quiet and strained from the previous night’s activities. 

Mark’s eyes snap back into focus, and his face goes red before he can even get a word out. He clears his throat roughly. “…Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck shifts around on the bed, bringing the covers up to fully hide his body. “Good morning,” he whispers, tucking half his face into the blankets as well.

The sight makes Mark’s heart skip a beat. Donghyuck is seriously the most adorable thing he has ever seen in his entire existence, and for a moment, his mind drifts to his ideal life. The one where he gets this sight every morning, the one where he gets to cuddle Donghyuck close instead of laying on opposite sides of the bed.

“Morning,” Mark mumbles back, fighting the urge to reach out and fix Donghyuck’s messy bed head. 

Realistically, they should talk, ask the age-old question: “What are we?” But that’s easier said than done. Because how often does fucking your best friend lead to a stable relationship? Not very often, is the answer. And with Mark’s luck in previous relationships—though that was mostly caused because he can’t get over Donghyuck—he doesn’t want to risk trying something only to end up losing him. For good.

“Did you sleep fine?” He asks, carefully sitting up in a way that won’t disturb Donghyuck. He glances down, a wave of relief washing over him when he sees he at least put his underwear back on.

Donghyuck nods, but quietly adds, “I’m sore, though.”

Right. All Mark did was clean him up and then knock out right after doing so. “Do you want pain medicine? Maybe some water?” He asks, because he’s insecure in their relationship, not some asshole who won't even offer support after the act.

“Yeah. That would be nice.”

Mark slips out of bed, picking up the pajama pants Donghyuck lent him the night before and puts them back on before walking out the room in search of water and pain medication. He stops at the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water before he realizes he doesn’t know where Donghyuck keeps his medicine. Thankfully, it doesn’t take him long to find the pills in Donghyuck’s bathroom, but then Mark realizes one more thing. Drinking medicine on an empty stomach will probably cause Donghyuck a stomach ache…

And so he returns to the kitchen, only to find the majority of Donghyuck’s kitchen to be ingredients, and not ready to eat foods or snacks. Maybe he should try to cook him something quick and easy, it doesn’t need to be complicated. 

The gas stove fails to turn on a few times before Mark finally gets the burner on, letting out a small cough at the smell of gas filling the kitchen. He waves it off with his hand, then gets to putting some bread to toast in the oddly fancy toaster Donghyuck has. He fumbles around with the different settings before finally lowering the bread into the toaster, trying to not think too hard about the fact that Donghyuck’s toaster has a screen on it. How much did that thing cost?

He shakes off the thought, instead returning his focus to the stove. The pan is nice and warmed up now, so he adds a little oil, cracking two eggs in there and stirring them up. He almost forgets to season it, and he kinda wishes he did, because while he’s usually good at putting the correct amount of salt and pepper, he didn’t expect Donghyuck’s pepper grinder to be so loose. Hopefully Donghyuck likes peppery eggs… because he was definitely a little heavy handed with it.

In Mark’s focused state, he doesn’t even hear Donghyuck waddle out the room, now dressed back in his pajamas from the night before but with a small blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He pads over to Mark, standing behind him as he watches the eggs intensely so as to not burn them.

He clears his throat once, and Mark doesn’t hear him. He tries again. Still no answer. “Mark?” Donghyuck finally calls, gently trapping Mark’s shoulder with his finger, backing up as Mark jumps slightly.

“Donghyuck?” He glances over his shoulder, looking pale as if he just got jump scared. “Why are you out of bed?”

“You were taking a long time. So I came to check if you were okay.”

Mark hums, taking shaky breaths to try to calm his racing heart. Donghyuck really caught him off guard. “I’m fine, Hyuck. Aren’t you the one in pain?”

Donghyuck glances away, shifting from his heels to the tips of his toes. “It’s not that bad…” His gaze returns to Mark’s back once the other has stopped looking at him. “What are you doing?”

The bottom of the pan screeches uncomfortably as Mark shifts it from the burner he just turned off to one that is a little cooler. He transports the eggs to a plate, then goes to grab the toast that was ready a few moments ago before turning to Donghyuck.

“I made you breakfast,” he says, his voice a little shy. The color returns to his face, though a pink hue is now taking over his cheeks and ears. “I didn’t want you to get a stomachache because you took medicine on an empty stomach.”

Donghyuck blinks, his eyes glossy like he’s about to cry. A small smile creeps onto his lips, giving him this warm, almost loving expression. “Thank you,” he murmurs, his eyes more on Mark’s face than the breakfast he prepared.

Neither of them make conversation as Donghyuck eats. They just sit in silence, and for them, it’s enough. Maybe it’s because Mark is still trying to wrap his head around this entire situation, or maybe it’s because he’s slowly starting to realize that maybe it doesn’t require as much thinking as he believes it does.

It sounds wrong, though. Mark has always been one to think things through, even to go as far as planning his entire day by the hour. It’s helpful and honestly perfect for him. But for the past few weeks, he’s been thrown into this world of going with the flow with anything regarding Donghyuck and he can’t deny that he feels free in those moments. Turning off his brain for a few hours while he enjoys the company of his best friend again after so many years is honestly addicting, and it makes him reconsider just how much he micromanages his own life.

Donghyuck sets his fork down with a soft clink, glancing sideways at Mark. “Are you just going to watch me eat, or are you going to eat something too?”

“Oh.” An awkward smile flashes on Mark’s face before it disappears just as quickly as it came. “Um. I’ll eat at home. Actually—I think it’s time I go.”

The chair scrapes against the flooring softly as Mark gets up, pushing the chair back in carefully like he’s afraid it’ll break if he doesn’t. Donghyuck frowns, watching Mark stumble back into his room then reappear with his clothes from yesterday on.

“I put what you lent me in your hamper,” he says, quickly tugging his jacket on. “I’ll see you—”

“You’re really leaving?” Donghyuck interrupts, his frown deepening and his brows furrowing in a way that makes Mark’s heart drop at the possibility that he hurt Donghyuck. 

“Y-yes?” Mark replies, voice quiet. Truth is, he doesn’t want to leave. He wants to stay with Donghyuck until Donghyuck gets sick of him and kicks him out. (Which probably won’t ever happen, but Mark assumes it will one day.)

Donghyuck’s eyes drop to his empty plate, a quiet “oh,” leaving him in a small, sad tone. “Okay.”

。°。°。°。°。°

Days blur into weeks, and before Mark knows it, it’s already been a little over a month since he last saw Donghyuck in person. They’ve been texting daily, and it’s through those late night texts where Mark learns a little more about this Donghyuck. At first, hearing his heavily summarized stories about Korea hurt a little, as there would be times where Donghyuck would say things and assume Mark understood, only for Mark to not understand. But then things softened, and Mark found himself getting kind of excited to hear about Donghyuck’s life without him. 

(Or maybe he was just excited to talk to Donghyuck.)

Either way, things seem to have returned to normal between the two of them, and Mark almost forgets he and Donghyuck slept together. Well, he doesn’t actually forget about it. Who could? But at least he doesn’t feel as iffy about it as he did the first few days after the act. Maybe it’s because Donghyuck doesn’t bring it up, or because there isn’t some kind of tension between them because of the fact that they had sex.

Which is actually perfect for Mark, because not only does he get to keep Donghyuck close, but he also gets to invite him places without the awkwardness he had expected to come after their little moment.

Mark: Hey

Mark: My mom’s birthday is coming up in a few days

Mark: I know you’ve only been here in the city area, but I was wondering if maybe you’d want to come? My brother is throwing a party for her…

Mark: Let me know if you're available, it’s on Saturday.

Now all Mark has to do is wait for a reply from Donghyuck, and he’s all set. At first, he was just gonna go to the party by himself, but then he got to thinking. He and Donghyuck can revisit some of their teenage memories together if they go back to Mark’s childhood home, and then maybe it can give them that last push to close the gap between them fully.Because while they definitely feel close again, Mark can tell there’s still this small bit that has yet to be filled. 

Donghyuck: Hi Mark

Donghyuck: Oh, it’s her birthday already? Gosh, it’s been so long…

Donghyuck: Of course I’d love to go! What should I get her?

Donghyuck: Do you have a present for her? Maybe we can go shopping together ^^

Mark’s screen lights up with Donghyuck’s messages, and a small, fond smile spreads on his lips. Donghyuck really does text the way he speaks. It’s so cute… 

Mark: I was going to get her something after work today

Donghyuck: What time do you get off?

Donghyuck: Let’s shop together. I’m scared I’ll get her something she won’t want or like. 

Donghyuck: I need to impress your family!!

Mark chuckles as more messages flood his screen. He can practically see the way Donghyuck’s thumbs fly across his screen as he types fast and sends multiple messages in quick succession.

Mark: You impressed them a long time ago, Hyuck.

Donghyuck: 😳😳

Mark: I get off at six. Can I pick you up?

Mark’s fingers tremble slightly after he sends that message. It feels a little too similar to what he’d say to people while they’d plan their first date on Bumble or some other dating app like that. 

Donghyuck: Yeah

Donghyuck: I don’t work tomorrow, it’s Friday

Mark: Lucky..

Mark: I work every weekday.

Donghyuck: Perks of working for my dad, I guess

Mark: Right, I forgot you work for him still

Mark: Well, I have to go now. 

Mark: I’ll see you tomorrow

Donghyuck: See you!

Mark shuts off his phone, feeling satisfied with how that went. He was a little afraid Donghyuck would say no because it’s been so long, and maybe he might think that Mark’s family still holds some kind of resentment towards him for leaving so abruptly. While he wouldn’t exactly be wrong about the resentment, it’s not Mark’s family that holds it, but their old friend group. Luckily, Mark doesn’t talk to any of them anymore, so that shouldn’t really be a problem. 

。°。°。°。°。°

It’s snowing again when Mark gets to Donghyuck’s apartment on Saturday morning, his overnight bag neatly placed in the back seat along with the presents he prepared for his mom’s party as well as a small fruit basket and a bouquet of flowers—items he usually brings whenever he visits. It takes Donghyuck about fifteen minutes after Mark arrives to finally come down, holding his own overnight bag and gifts. 

Donghyuck puts his stuff in the backseat right next to Mark’s, then gets into the car, settling in the passenger seat. “Hi,” he says with a light smile, his nose and cheeks already growing rosy from the short amount of time his face was exposed to the chilling winter air. 

“Hey,” Mark replies, trying hard not to focus on the way Donghyuck’s face looks so cute and squish-able with the flush that slowly disappears once he warms up. “Ready to go?”

Donghyuck hums, pulling the seatbelt over his body. “Yup, all good.”

They begin the hour drive to Mark’s childhood home, Donghyuck connecting his phone to the car and playing a few songs they used to listen to during high school. The highway is surprisingly empty, probably because it’s 9 A.M. on a Saturday, but that makes the drive all the better. It’s just Mark, Donghyuck, and all their memories gradually coming back as they get closer and closer. 

The emptiness of the highway slowly fills out with trees and shrinks to two lane roads, the town square with the ice cream shop Mark and Donghyuck would frequent on the weekends coming into view on Mark’s side.

“Look over here,” he says, stopping at a red light at the intersection right outside town square. 

Donghyuck gasps dramatically, and Mark chuckles at the way he turns his head like he’s at bingo and the last number he needed to win was called. 

“Oh my god!” He leans over slightly, the soft, floral scent of his shampoo filling Mark’s nostrils. “I remember that! Have you gone recently? Is their ice cream still good?”

Mark shrugs. “I don’t know, I haven’t been since you left.”

Donghyuck settles back into his seat properly, a small frown growing on his face. “Oh…”

The light turns green, and Mark continues to drive. “We can go later, if you want to. The party doesn’t start until five.” He glances over at the time on his car’s screen. “It’s barely even eleven, I doubt we can’t sneak out for like thirty minutes.”

That brings the smile on Donghyuck’s face back. “Really? Okay. I’ll hold you to that.”

“Go ahead, I won’t break my promise.”

Donghyuck brings his hand to his mouth as he laughs lightly, eyes full of that mischief Mark missed so much. “You’re promising now? You realize I won’t ever let it go if you don’t take me later, right?”

Mark shakes his head, his voice taking on a challenging tone. “I told you, Hyuck. I won’t break my promise.”

Donghyuck doesn’t say anything else, just leans his head back against the headrest, unable to keep a stupidly fond smile off his lips, his eyes glued to the side of Mark’s face like he’s waiting for him to look over at him.

By the time they get to Mark’s house, the light snow that had started in the early morning finally settles, leaving a thin layer of powdery snow for them to leave footprints on as they make their way up the driveway with their things. Mark rings the doorbell, and Donghyuck hides behind him, clearly nervous to reconnect with Mark’s family. The front door swings open, and Mark gets pulled into a tight hug before he can even get a word in. 

“Mark, you’re here,” his mom says into his jacket, her voice muffled but it doesn’t hide the excitement in it. “How was the trip over?” She asks, pulling away just enough to rub her hands up and down Mark’s arms like she’s making sure he’s real.

“It was good,” Mark replies, pauses, then adds, “I had someone to keep me company.”

“Someone to keep you company?” She echoes, trying to catch a peek around Mark. “Your girlfriend?” She whispers, though she’s not as good at whispering as she thinks she is, because Donghyuck can hear her perfectly well, and can feel the disappointment that is to come once she realizes it’s him and not some other girl. “Let me see her.”

“It— he… isn’t a girl,” Mark murmurs, still not moving out of the way. 

“Ohh… so your boyfriend?” His mom shakes her head with a small smile on her face. “That’s not a problem. Let me see him.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend either—”

Mark’s mom gently pushes Mark out of the way, freezing as soon as Donghyuck comes into view. He holds his presents and bag in his hands, looking like he wants to disappear entirely. 

“…Hi.”

She gasps, stepping out of the house, not caring for the groan Mark lets out when she pushes him out the way again. “Donghyuck… is that you?”

Donghyuck swallows, preparing himself for the scolding that’s to come. But it never does come, instead his face is gently framed by her hands, the same ones that used to peel him and Mark fruits whenever they’d hang out after school.

“Where have you been?” She asks, her eyes tracing over his features, studying him carefully. “My goodness, it’s been so long… look at you now, all grown up.”

Donghyuck nods, letting himself melt into her delicate touch. “I was in Korea, didn’t Mark tell you?”

She shakes her head, her thumbs gently brushing over Donghyuck’s flushed from the cold cheeks. “No, Mark didn’t tell me anything.” She pauses, a small, almost pained laugh slipping out. “Actually, after you left, he locked himself up in his room all summer. Didn’t come out until it was time for him to move into his own place for university.”

Donghyuck’s eyes flick up from Mark’s mom’s face to Mark’s, and now Mark is the one who looks like he wants the ground to swallow him whole. “…Really?” 

“Really,” she confirms, finally letting go of Donghyuck’s face. “He grew so stubborn. Not even those ice creams you two would get could lure him out of his room.”

Donghyuck swallows hard, a wave of guilt washing over his features. “But don’t worry,” She continues after seeing the look on his face. “Everything must be good now, right? Since you guys are dating and all?”

Mark’s face immediately goes red. He exchanges glances with Donghyuck again before clearing his throat to get his mom’s attention. 

“Mom… I told you we aren’t dating.”

The way she turns slowly is almost comical, her face twisted into one of shock. “You did?” She asks, voice careful and almost disbelieving. “When?”

“When you asked if he brought his girlfriend,” Donghyuck responds for Mark, unable to look both of them in the eye.

“Oh.” She shifts awkwardly between the two, feeling bad for the tension she caused. She quickly recovers though, patting them both on the shoulders. “Let’s just go inside now, you two must be freezing.”

Mark nods, moving out of the way for his mom to enter the house again. His eyes meet Donghyuck’s, and he mouths a quiet “sorry,” before stepping into the house himself.

The house is a little different than Donghyuck remembers it, but it’s nothing too shocking. He and Mark slip off their shoes, and then make their way upstairs to Mark’s bedroom. 

The second they step in, it feels like they went back in time. His room is exactly the same, as if time froze after they both left. Mark’s bed stays in the same spot in the corner, a short dresser fit under the window with the same clutter Donghyuck swears was there during the night of their last ever sleep over.

“It’s identical,” he finds himself mumbling as he shuts the door with a soft click, the floorboard under him creaking just the same way as before.

“Yeah,” Mark breathes, shuffling over to the bed and sitting on it, bouncing a few times as if to test its strength. “I only stayed in this room two months after you left. I guess my parents didn’t touch it.”

Donghyuck continues to explore, pressing his fingers to every surface he can reach like he’s exploring something new. “Did you not visit in six years?”

“I did,” Mark answers, getting up from the bed and walking over to Donghyuck for no reason other than to stand next to him. “But I didn’t really move much either.”

Their breaths mix when Donghyuck glances over his shoulder, only to find Mark to be standing right behind him. He clears his throat softly, turning his head back to try to stop the pink flush that creeps up his neck and onto his cheeks and ears. 

He picks up a random folded piece of paper on the top of the dresser to distract himself, opening it only to find the words that have been haunting him for years written in messy black letters.

Dad wants to move the business back to Korea. 

“…why do you still have this?”

“I don’t know,” Mark admits quietly, his breath fanning over the back of Donghyuck’s ear. “I thought maybe one day it would bring you back, I guess.”

Donghyuck sniffles, and suddenly his arms are wrapped around Mark’s waist, holding him so tightly that it’s hard for him to breathe.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs into Mark’s shoulder, holding him close like he’s afraid he might be the one to leave this time. “I.. I really didn’t know my phone number would change… I thought I would be able to talk to you.”

“Donghyuck,” Mark says softly, wrapping his arms around him and holding him as gently as one would with a baby. “You already apologized…”

“I know,” he says, peeking up from Mark’s shoulder, eyes glossed over. “But I still feel horrible. Especially now that I know you locked yourself up… I must’ve made you go through so much.”

Mark cracks a small smile, unable to help it because of how cute Donghyuck looks all teary eyed and pink-cheeked. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Stop lying,” he grumbles, squeezing Mark just a little tighter. “I know you, Mark. And I definitely don’t doubt you put your life on pause because you were upset.”

“When have I ever—” 

“In eleventh grade, second semester,” Donghyuck interrupts, a pout forming on his lips. What he doesn’t know from back then is that the reason Mark shut himself out for a few weeks in eleventh grade was because Donghyuck made this new friend, and Mark was sure he liked Donghyuck. He was jealous, and he couldn’t handle it.

“That was… different.”

“Sure it was.”

Mark groans, rolling his eyes simply for the dramatic effect. “It was.”

“I never said it wasn’t.” Donghyuck counters, his eyes shining with something other than unshed tears. 

“You don’t believe me.”

Donghyuck blinks. Mark blinks back. And suddenly he realizes how they are—all wrapped up in each other’s arms like it’s nothing. Like Mark didn’t use to avoid every little touch from Donghyuck in fear he’d feel just how hard his heart would beat around him. But now here they are, chests pressed together, faces inches apart, and Mark can’t tell which heartbeat is his, and which is Donghyuck’s—they’re both beating in a slow, almost therapeutic rhythm.

They’re quiet for a few minutes that feel more like hours, slowly inching towards each other like they can’t help but to be pulled closer like magnets. 

Donghyuck opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again, his voice barely audible when he speaks. “Are—” he starts, only for them to break apart when a soft knock comes from Mark’s bedroom door, splitting them up before they can even see who it is.

The door creaks open slowly, as if the person were wary of them doing something in the bedroom together. Once fully opened, Mark’s brother blinks at them standing awkwardly right in front of the bed, Donghyuck’s hair all messy, Mark’s shirt wrinkled from where Donghyuck was holding him.

“I’m not interrupting, right?” He says, and it’s clear he’s fighting back a grin based on the way he looks at them with a look that says he knows everything, even if nothing was happening between them. 

Mark clears his throat, glancing over at Donghyuck once, trying to convince himself that Donghyuck wasn’t also leaning in for something he probably shouldn’t be thinking of right now. “No, you’re not,” he replies after nearly having to tear his eyes away from Donghyuck.

Mark’s brother hums. “Good. Well all I was gonna ask you is if you can come help put some decorations up? Dad took Mom to the store to distract her and I want to decorate before she gets back.”

“Okay,” he says while nodding, then turns back to Donghyuck, lowering his voice just slightly. “You can stay here if you want to.”

“I’ll go with you,” Donghyuck says, not wanting to be left alone in Mark’s room. “I can, right?”

“Yeah, come along,” Mark’s brother cuts in, leaning against the doorframe and observing the two like he’s slowly putting things together with each second that ticks by. He gives them a smile that says too much, then turns on his heels and leaves them to follow behind.

。°。°。°。°。°

After a little over an hour later, only the living room is left to decorate, looking bland and bare in comparison to the dining room and kitchen which are filled with balloons, streamers, and other basic birthday party decorations. The party itself isn’t all that special—only close relatives and a few of Mark’s mom’s friends—but Mark and his brother have to go all out for her. She’s their mom, after all. 

Mark carries the nearly empty box of party decorations to the coffee table, setting it down with an exaggerated groan that makes Donghyuck giggle behind him.

“Heavy?” He asks, walking over and peeking into the box, only to find the bottom of the box to be barely covered with the little amount of decorations left. “You’re dramatic,” Donghyuck says, side-eyeing Mark like he isn’t the more dramatic one of the two.

“I’m tired,” Mark shoots back, grabbing the last bag of balloons and the air pump, reaching down to grab Donghyuck’s hand. “My brother and I have been doing all the work,” he explains, pushing the supplies into Donghyuck’s hand with a fake, sweet smile. “And you’ve just been sitting there, looking pretty.”

Donghyuck blinks. Mark blinks, too.

He clears his throat. He was supposed to have thought that. Not actually say it outloud. “…Um. What I meant to say was that you should do something too.”

Donghyuck blinks again, then nods wordlessly before turning sharply and plopping down on the couch.

Mark swallows, gaze lingering on Donghyuck for a little longer than necessary, watching as red creeps up his pretty neck. The same neck he—

Fuck. Mark thought he forgot about that. Well, he didn’t. But he did. Or at least, he tried to, because oddly enough, things were just dandy after they had sex. So why is he thinking of that now of all times?

He shakes the thought away, instead digging out the last colorful “Happy Birthday” banner out of the box. 

“Mel,” Donghyuck whines after successfully blowing up three balloons. When Mark doesn’t reply, he tries again, this time trying to sound more frail than before. 

“Mark, I’m tired.”

Mark glances over, holding back a laugh at the sad yet somehow cute sight before him. “You’ve only gotten three done,” he says, sticking more tape on the banner in an attempt to stop it from falling like it has been. 

“Okay? I’m still tired,” Donghyuck counters, setting the plastic pump on the coffee table, then massaging his hand like he’s been severely injured.

Mark laughs, taking a step back from the wall to admire his work with a satisfied expression on his face. He walks over to where Donghyuck sits, the couch sinking under his weight as he takes a seat next to Donghyuck, their knees brushing briefly before Donghyuck pulls away like Mark electrocuted him.

“Let me see,” Mark says, extending his hand palm up. Donghyuck places his hand in Mark’s, his delicate fingers slipping between the gaps of Mark’s. 

“I.. meant the balloons,” he clarifies, cheeks heating up at record speed. Donghyuck makes this small, quiet squeak, pulling his hand away immediately.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, grabbing the bag of balloons and shoving them into Mark’s hand with a little more force than necessary.

Mark starts pumping air into a balloon, cursing under his breath when it slips off the tip and flies out of his hand. He grabs it again, quickly pumping air into it and tying it when he succeeds in filling it. “You’re so dramatic,” he says, mirroring what the boy had said to him earlier while flicking the balloon towards Donghyuck. 

“No I’m not,” Donghyuck says with an eye-roll. “I’m tired.”

“From what, exactly?”

“From sitting here and looking pretty,” he replies teasingly, a cheeky grin spreading on his face. Mark can only sigh at his response, and Donghyuck’s grin only widens, clearly proud of himself.

The rest of the decorating goes by in silence. Comfortable silence, but a little rough around the edges and Mark’s sure it’s the small bit of tension that has been simmering underneath the surface since that day. It’s not enough to make things awkward between them but it’s definitely enough to be heard in the moments of quiet when there’s nothing to laugh about and nothing to say, other than what they’re both avoiding.

They finish their job, and Donghyuck is the first to sink into the couch, sighing in relief now that he doesn’t have to be getting on chairs to stick balloons onto the ceiling. “Mark?” he calls, eyes still closed from when he dramatically wiped the nonexistent sweat off his forehead.

“Hm?” he replies, plopping down on the couch next to Donghyuck, careful to not let their knees brush like before.

Donghyuck swallows, opening his eyes only to stare ahead but he can feel Mark’s gaze on his face. “I’m… kinda nervous,” he admits with a little laugh he forces out of himself. 

“Why?” Mark asks, though he's sure he knows the reason for the sudden nerves. In reality, there’s no reason for Donghyuck to be nervous—it’s just Mark’s parents and a few family friends Donghyuck has met before. But where Mark assumes his nerves come from is not the people themselves, but how they’d react to him being back, given he left abruptly, and left them with teenager Mark who didn’t know what to do with not only his unreciprocated feelings, but also how to go about losing his best friend as quick as he did.

“I guess I’m scared of what they’ll think,” he mumbles, fidgeting with his thumbs like he’d always do whenever he did something wrong. 

Mark hums. “Because you left, right?” He was right, and even though this might not be the situation to be celebrating that, he feels glad—happy, even—that he  can still read Donghyuck like before.

“Yeah,” he says, finally looking over at Mark, their eyes meeting for more than the brief second they have been the entire day. “Because I left.”

。°。°。°。°。°

The level of noise that parties bring always manage to amaze Mark. Though his mom’s birthday party isn’t like the ones in college with music so loud he would feel it in his lungs, it’s still rather loud in the dining room, all her friends chatting away like they don’t have a weekly book club where they gossip more than discuss the books they read. He never has fun at these kinds of gatherings—it’s all people his parents know, after all. But he still tries, putting on a smile for the aunties.

Thankfully he and Donghyuck are used to these kinds of events, their moms dragging them to parties or hosting their own. What neither of them are used to is the amount of questions Donghyuck gets from everyone—where he went, how long it’s been, whether he’s staying.

By the time the guests thin out and the music softens into background noise, Donghyuck’s smile has gone a little stiff, his voice a little too quiet.

The sound of water running fills the kitchen’s silence, Mark washing the dishes in hopes to not think too much about it. About Donghyuck, about them. He fails, though, calling over Donghyuck to help him dry the dishes though he usually leaves them on the drying rack to air dry. Donghyuck walks over with a dry towel, taking the wet plates and cups Mark passes him, drying them off before placing them on the rack without even questioning why he’s leaving already dry dishes out to dry.

Maybe bringing Donghyuck wasn’t the right thing… Mark catches himself thinking, and then shoots it down immediately. He promised himself he wouldn’t overthink that way anymore—it doesn’t benefit him or Donghyuck in any way. And yet, a part of him still believes that. That bringing Donghyuck wasn’t the right call. He looked uncomfortable after twenty minutes and he stuck to Mark the entire time. His chair at dinner scooted extra close, arms brushing, his hand holding onto the back of Mark’s hoodie when they greeted people, even down to the way he spoke—softer than usual with a look in his eyes which told Mark how much he hated being asked the same thing over and over again, only to be met with sympathy. Or worse, judgment.

Mark considers saying something. Not anything deep or something that would make Donghyuck even more uncomfortable, but before he can think of what to say, Donghyuck is already gone, the towel he used to dry dishes left in his spot.

There’s a tree in the backyard of Mark’s childhood home. It never grew big enough to house the tree house Mark and Donghyuck would dream of whenever those became popular in their teenage years. But even so, that mid-sized tree became their spot outside of Mark’s room where no one bothered them, and the main road was far away enough to where the sounds of cars and the occasional bus became background noise and not something annoying. This is the spot Mark immediately thinks to check when he realizes Donghyuck left without a sound, grabbing his as well as Donghyuck’s jacket before heading out into the backyard.

It’s not a large area back there—it just seems so because they never got a fence installed after their old one started to deteriorate due to age—so it doesn’t take Mark long to spot footsteps in the snow leading to the tree, revealing Donghyuck who stands there like he’s trying to turn back time.

“It’s cold,” Mark says, opening Donghyuck’s jacket and placing it over his shoulders before he can react. “You’ll get sick.”

Donghyuck doesn’t seem startled by Mark, even if he barely made any noise as he approached him. “How did you know I was here?” He asks, still staring into the pattern the dark bark of the tree makes. 

Mark sighs, one hand still on Donghyuck, his thumb rubbing small circles on the curve of his shoulder absentmindedly. “There aren't many places to go in the house,” he replies, voice matching the quiet of the night. “And plus,” he pauses, almost like he can feel the way Donghyuck’s expression shifts slightly, though he can’t see his face. “I know you, Donghyuck. Only you come to this spot and stare at this tree like it might start moving if you look hard enough.”

He hums, then echoes Mark’s words so softly that Mark almost doesn't hear him. “You know me.”

Mark doesn’t say anything, deciding that maybe Donghyuck needs silence, space. He did come out all by himself, after all. Maybe. Maybe? Ever since Donghyuck came back, there’s been one thing in Mark’s mind. It isn’t the endless questions he has of the time they were apart, but rather the fact that sometimes he can read Donghyuck and it feels like he never left, and sometimes—like now—he doesn’t know a thing about what is going on in that pretty head of his. And he hates that. Hates not knowing what he’s thinking about. He hates how much of a stranger he feels like at times.

“We should go back,” Mark murmurs after a few moments, hands shoved into his pockets, nose and cheeks gone pink from the cold. 

“Yeah.”

The floorboards of Mark’s bedroom creak softly under their weight as they navigate the room in the dark towards the lamp on the bedside table. Mark switches the light on, momentarily being blinded from staring directly into the light bulb. He takes a step back, then flops onto his bed, groaning softly as he feels the tension in his body melt into the mattress below him. Donghyuck stands next to him, not sitting but not moving away, almost as if there’s something he’s debating on saying or not.

“Something wrong?” Mark asks, voice flat but not unkind, just tired. 

Donghyuck shakes his head, and pads over to Mark’s closet, opening it like he owns it. He digs around on the bottom left shelf inside the small space, pulling out the air mattress he somehow remembered was there, though it was never really used because he and Mark always used to share the bed. 

“What are you doing?” Mark asks, still not entirely convinced Donghyuck is okay, but he doesn’t push it. He stands when Donghyuck doesn’t reply, walking over to the closet himself. 

“You don’t need that,” he comments, watching Donghyuck struggle to pull the folded up mattress from the tight space in the corner. “Just sleep on my bed.”

Donghyuck freezes, and in what feels like milliseconds, his ears go bright red. He clears his throat, sitting on the floor rather than crouching down like he was before his legs got tired. “Are you sure?”

Mark nods, then realizes Donghyuck can’t see him, so he speaks instead. “Yeah. We used to do it all the time, I don’t see why not.” 

“Okay,” Donghyuck says despite his initial hesitation. He gets up from where he sat, wiping off his bottom from any dust he might’ve picked off the ground.

Mark blinks at his back, the feeling that something really is off sinking deeper and deeper. “I’ll shower first,” he says in order to distract himself. “You just get comfortable.”

Donghyuck nods wordlessly, and Mark heads off to the bathroom, towel and pajamas in hand.

The room is nearly pitch black once Mark shuts the lamp off, leaving only a sliver moonlight shining through the parted curtains. They shift until they get as comfortable as two grown men on a twin sized bed can get, the fitting a little tighter than either of them recall. Mark stares up at the ceiling like it might have the answers on how to calm his racing heart. With the way he and Donghyuck’s shoulders are pressed together, he prays that he can’t somehow feel his abnormally fast heartbeat.

He sighs, closing his eyes to finally get some rest. His body and mind are exhausted from the day, but somehow, he can’t quite drift off to dream land, and it’s clear Donghyuck can’t either based on the way he shifts every other second.

Mark thinks about saying something, but Donghyuck beats him to it, his voice as quiet as a sigh.

“Are we going to keep pretending like nothing happened?”

Mark’s throat goes dry. “What?” he whispers back, almost as quiet—if not quieter—than Donghyuck.

Donghyuck swallows, trying again. “That night. At my apartment…” he trails off, then continues the shake in his body audible through his voice. “…When we had sex.”

Mark turns his head, eyes meeting Donghyuck’s in the darkness of the room. He blinks, Donghyuck’s pretty face coming into view once his eyes adjust to the lighting. The first thing he notices is the way his brows furrow with a slight up curve, the way his lips are pressed into a fine line like he’s afraid of what he just said. Mark inhales shakily. He knows he can’t avoid the conversation forever—it was dumb of him to think they’d move on like nothing happened.

“What do you want to do about it?” he ends up asking, needing to grasp Donghyuck’s thoughts before he can measure what response would be the most appropriate for their relationship and what Donghyuck wants it to become. 

Donghyuck shifts to be fully on his side, his entire body facing Mark. “I don’t know. What do you want?”

Mark huffs a laugh, mirroring Donghyuck’s movements to face him too. “You can’t just repeat my question in response.”

“Yes I can.”

“Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck gives him a playful eye-roll, and suddenly the atmosphere doesn’t feel as tense as it was a few moments ago. 

“Let’s do this,” Mark whispers, a confidence he didn’t know he had surfacing from deep within him, probably because he realized that this doesn’t have to be as scary as he’s making it out to be. It’s Donghyuck, after all. His best friend for years. “We’ll say it at the same time, okay?”  Donghyuck nods and Mark stares at him with a fond smile he doesn’t even know is on his face. 

“I have feelings for you,” Donghyuck murmurs, and Mark doesn’t say anything despite the fact that he was the one to suggest they say it at the same time.

“What?” Mark breathes, still having not been prepared to say it yet. 

“You said we—” Donghyuck hisses, his face going completely red. “You..”

“No— I’m sorry,” he says, rushing to apologize, eyes wide. “I.. wasn’t ready yet. I was on two.”

“What?”

“I was counting to three…”

Donghyuck lets out a groan that’s too loud for the time of night, burying his face in his pillow, wishing to just disappear. Or maybe explode and traumatize Mark as revenge for setting him up like this.

Mark props himself up on his elbow, hovering over Donghyuck slightly. He places his other hand on Donghyuck’s back, rubbing it softly. 

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the same way,” he whispers, cheeks burning. “I have feelings for you too, Donghyuck. I like you— love you? I… I don’t know,” he blabbers, unable to stop himself from doing so because of how quiet Donghyuck is, his body completely frozen.

“I mean, I’ve liked you for so long that I—”

To Mark’s surprise, Donghyuck laughs. He laughs. While he’s busy trying to chase the confidence he had for a split second only for it to disappear the second he started blabbering. His cheeks go redder than they already were, lips pressed into a fine line.

“Oh, Mark,” Donghyuck breathes, scooting closer. “You’re dumb.”

Mark blinks, confused and slightly offended.

“In an endearing way,” he clarifies softly, his hand coming up to gently cup Mark’s jaw like it’s something precious, his touch feather light. Donghyuck sucks on his bottom lip slightly, eyes searching Mark’s until he finally finds the right thing to say.

“I was scared just now,” Donghyuck admits. “But now I realize I shouldn’t have been.” He pauses briefly, watching Mark’s body un-tense, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “You felt the same, didn’t you?”

Mark nods, only then letting himself lean into Donghyuck’s soft touch like a small kitten who craves comfort.

“Come here,” He whispers, letting go of Mark’s face to open his arms invitingly. Mark scoots closer, until his arms are locked loosely around Donghyuck’s waist, forehead pressed into his shoulder. He exhales shakily, his hands wandering up Donghyuck’s back aimlessly. Mark’s body melts against Donghyuck’s, and for a brief moment, he thinks back to when they were in Donghyuck’s apartment for the first time, hugging and leaving everything unsaid. 

“I missed you,” Mark says into the soft fabric of Donghyuck’s pajama shirt. “I’m sorry.”

Donghyuck laughs. It’s not humorless, but it also isn’t full of joy. It’s just a small, warm noise that makes Mark’s stomach do a flip. “What are you apologizing for?”
Mark pulls his head away from Donghyuck’s shoulder, looking the boy in the eyes. “For making you wait, I guess.”
“I’m the one who–” He starts, but gets cut off by the slight brush of Mark’s lips against his.
“I’m not done,” he whispers, then pulls away again to enjoy the expression Donghyuck makes when speechless–a little confused but very cute.
Mark clears his throat, then continues his earlier apology. “What I meant was I’m sorry for hesitating.” He reaches down, grabbing Donghyuck’s hand and intertwining their fingers loosely. His heart is beating so hard against his ribs, and he almost backs down. But he knows that it’s now or never.

“I just… overthought everything since you got back. I overthought forgiving you, I overthought the way you pretended like you never left, I overthought that night we shared.”
Donghyuck swallows but doesn’t say anything, and Mark takes it as a sign to continue. 

“But you know what I realized?” He sighs, a small–almost sad–smile spreading on his lips. “I realized that I think too much. About the future, about the things that probably won’t ever happen.”

Mark goes quiet when Donghyuck still doesn’t say anything or move, and for a moment he thinks Donghyuck might’ve fallen asleep. But when he leans in, his hair brushing against Donghyuck’s and their breaths mingling, he finds Donghyuck looking right at him, eyes all glossy. 

“What.. what’s wrong?” he asks, already rushing to figure out what he said that might've upset Donghyuck.

Donghyuck shakes his head, finally speaking. “Nothing is wrong,” he says, voice soft and small. “I just– you really haven’t changed, have you?”
Puzzled, Mark asks quietly, “What do you mean?”
“You're always assuming things, never checking to see if they might be true," he explains gently, dropping Mark's hand to wrap that arm around him, pulling him closer again. "But…" he lowers his voice to a sure whisper. "Please don't assume I'll leave you. Ever."

Mark drops his head to Donghyuck’s shoulder once again, trying to fight the rush of emotions that washes over him. He doesn’t know how Donghyuck does it every damn time, but somehow the boy manages to say the right thing—always manages to read him in a way no one else can.

"Okay," he breathes, eyes fluttering closed under the comfort of Donghyuck's presence. "I won't," he promises softly. Mark knows that most times, he can't quite control this stupid tendency of his to overthink. But having this kind of reassurance from the person he's been in love with—even when they were apart—is a kind of security no breathing exercises or other anxiety calming exercises could ever give.

Neither of them add anything else to the conversation. They don't need to. Instead, they lay in each other's arms until Mark drifts off into a peaceful sleep, Donghyuck following shortly after.

。。°。°。°。°。°`

Either someone came into Mark's room in the early morning or he simply forgot to shut the curtains all the way, but a pesky line of light shining directly in his closed eyes wakes him rather rudely, making him shift to bury his face in the safety of Donghyuck's chest, causing him to stir awake too. Sleeping with someone is always rather enjoyable in the night, but it gets uncomfortable when morning comes and they're both sweaty from how close they were all night. Somehow though, that doesn't seem to bother Donghyuck this time. Because when he fully wakes up, all he does is smile and snuggle closer than Mark already has, not knowing if Mark is awake or just instinctively seeking even more of his body heat.

"Hyuck," he grumbles, his air getting cut off when Donghyuck accidentally presses his chest a little too firmly against Mark's nose. "Hyuck, I can't breathe."

Donghyuck gasps softly, shifting immediately to let Mark breathe. "Are you okay?" He asks worriedly, like he actually did any damage instead of putting Mark exactly where he wants to be.

"I'm okay," he reassures, a lazy smirk spreading on his face. "I put my face there on purpose, you know."

"You—"

"Shh.. now go back to sleep," Mark whispers, his warm breath tickling Donghyuck's plump, kissable lips. His eyes briefly flick down to that pink mouth, remembering how soft and pillowy it felt against his own that night a few weeks ago. He shakes the thought away though he knows how Donghyuck feels, he doesn't want to rush things. "It's still early."

Donghyuck pouts slightly when he realizes where Mark's gaze is fixed. "Are you going to do something?" He asks, watching Mark watch him. "Or should I actually go back to sleep?"

Mark swallows thickly at the invitation. Maybe it is okay to kiss his best friend—they've done much more before anyway. And plus, they're both aware of their feelings for each other, they're just unlabeled. So really, it's okay.

He doesn't waste another second after the small justification he does in his head, leaning in and slotting his lips against Donghyuck's, not caring for morning breath or anything like that. The kiss is brief but sweet and the feeling of Donghyuck's plush lips against his lingers even after they break apart.

Donghyuck giggles, and it feels like they're back in high school, doing something they're not supposed to be doing. Mark gently pulls Donghyuck in for another longer, deeper kiss, his tongue darting out to gently trace the line between Donghyuck's bottom and top lip without actually entering.

"Mark—" Donghyuck murmurs between the soft clicks of their kisses, pressing his hands against Mark's chest as if to push him away, but not actually doing anything. Mark simply hums in response, too lost in the sensation of Donghyuck's warm body against his.

He only pulls away when he thinks he hears a distant call of his name. His suspicion is proved to be correct when his mom's voice gets louder as she gets closer to his room, causing him to reluctantly part from Donghyuck, beating her to the door and opening it enough to where his body covers the view into his bedroom and Donghyuck who watches with a shy smile and rosy cheeks.

When Mark eventually returns to the bedroom after following his mom out, it's to tell Donghyuck to get up for breakfast. Once washed up, they both head downstairs and Mark tries to ignore the look his mom gives him when the both of them take a sit at the table. Breakfast goes normally, though Mark can't shake the feeling that his mom might've seen something she probably shouldn't have based on the fact that she won't stop glancing between the two of them and giggling to herself. After their talk last night, nothing really happened—other than them cuddling in their sleep, so that's probably what she saw. And knowing Mark isn't necessarily the touchy type… yeah, it makes sense why she's acting the way she is.

"So," Mark's mom starts, helping Donghyuck pick the breakfast plates off the table. "How long are you two staying?"

"We're leaving in a few hours," Mark replies, murmuring a small thank you to Donghyuck when he hands him the plates to wash. "Probably around…" he glances at the clock before continuing. "Noon."

"Noon?" She frowns slightly. "Why so soon?"

"Mom," he chuckles quietly, handing Donghyuck a plate to dry, the scene reminding him of the night before, only this time Donghyuck shoots him a warm smile when their fingers brush instead of avoiding eye contact like before. "We have jobs, you know."

"I know," she sighs. "I just thought you'd stay longer. You haven't visited as much as you promised you would." Her gaze meets Donghyuck's, and her frown only deepens. "And plus, Donghyuck is back now. I wanted to see more of him."

"I'll bring him again."

Mark's mom sighs again, this time more dramatically. She walks over to where Donghyuck stands, taking the towel he's using to dry the dishes away from him. "Oh, honey. You don't need to dry these, they usually air dry anyway."

Donghyuck lets her take the towel from him."I just felt like I needed to do something," he explains, giving her an awkward smile.

She hums. "Well if that's the case, why don't you go tidy up the living room a bit? It's still a little messy from last night."

Donghyuck blinks. That's what he gets for saying he needed something to do. "Okay," he says, stepping out of the kitchen knowing she probably sent him off to talk to Mark in private. He hopes its not about him—the guilt from leaving still hasn't fizzled out completely.

Once Donghyuck is out of sight, Mark's mom turns to her son. "You know," she begins, eyes tracing the sharp lines that make up Mark's side profile. "You're a lot like your dad when he was your age."

The water stops and Mark dries his hands off. He hums, knowing this already—his mom used to always tell him and his brother stories of her and their dad during their days dating.

"And not just your handsome looks," she adds, continuing to look at him with that familiar fond glimmer in her eyes. "Your personality too. I think between you and your brother, you definitely took more of your dad's personality."

Mark's brows furrow slightly. He's never really thought he was much like his dad. Looks wise, he definitely is, and so is his brother. But personality wise? If anything, he thought was more like his mom. "What do you mean?"

"He used to hesitate a lot," she explains, glancing away from Mark and instead staring at the doorway leading to the living room, as if trying to stare at something—or someone—in specific. "We were already dating a few years at your age, and yet he still hesitated when it came to proposing."

Mark hums again, having heard this story multiple times over the years.

Noticing Mark's silence, she continues, taking it as a sign to do so. "He knew from the start what I wanted. Marriage and a family." She laughs, looking back at Mark. "And yet he still second guessed it until I confronted him, thinking he didn't want anything deeper with me."

Mark doesn't reply, and she doesn't add anything else for a few moments, letting her son soak up her words. Finally, she speaks again, hoping he gets the message.

"What I'm trying to say is… don't wait until the last moment, okay?"

He thinks about her words, and then finally realizes he probably isn't as slick as he thinks he is. A soft flush washes over his cheeks and he clears his throat, nodding. "Yeah. I got it, mom."

She smiles, patting Mark on the shoulder. "Good. Now go help Donghyuck, I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

。。°。°。°。°。°

The parking lot of the ice cream shop they spoke of the day before is rather empty when they pull into a spot, the cold air rushing into the warmth of the car when Donghyuck steps out, shivering slightly and second guessing his decision to get ice cream during the heart of winter. Despite the cold, they go into the shop, the familiar jingle ringing above them as they step inside, that one scent neither of them can describe but feels equally nostalgic to the both of them filling their senses, and for a moment Mark swears he's back to the last day they hung out before Donghyuck left, laughing and joking over a sundae they shared because they could only afford one sweet treat that day. He smiles to himself, shaking the memory away in hopes to make a whole new one with Donghyuck.

They step up to the counter, Donghyuck giving his order first, then Mark, who pays for the both of them like usual, only this time he earns himself a smile so sweet from Donghyuck that his stomach does a flip.

Once they get their orders—cookies and cream for Mark, chocolate for Donghyuck—they sit at a table in the corner.

"It's so empty," Donghyuck says quietly, glancing over at the few employees who look to be around the age Mark and Donghyuck were when they were regulars. "I feel like I should be whispering or something."

Mark laughs, taking a spoonful of his ice cream. "The library is across the road, Hyuck."

Donghyuck can't help but join Mark in his soft laughter, a warm feeling bubbling up in his chest though the store, ice cream, and outside world are all rather cold.

They don't spend much time in the shop after having finished their ice cream. There's not necessarily a reason to rush back to their apartments, but they do so anyway, waving good bye to the town square as it slowly shrinks until it's completely out of view. It's not long before the trees around them thin out, and more lanes get added to the road as they get on the highway.

Music plays from the radio—something soft that neither of them know the name of but don't mind listening to, making the drive rather peaceful. The highway isn't awfully full, and there's enough clouds in the sky to block the sun from completely blinding them.

Like their drive over, Donghyuck is quiet enough to where Mark thinks he might've fallen asleep—they did wake up early for absolutely no reason. But when he glances over, he finds Donghyuck already looking at him like he was about to say something.

Donghyuck blinks, and then finally speaks, sinking back into the seat and averting Mark's gaze in an attempt to seem unbothered.

"That was nice."

"Mhm."

"Visiting, I mean," he adds, quickly looking over at Mark again, knowing his eyes are definitely back on the road now. "I missed your family."

"Yeah."

Mark swallows, knowing he sounds uninterested. He isn't, he's just trying to figure out what Donghyuck is dancing around by making this stiff conversation. What Mark assumes is this: Donghyuck wants to ask about them, about what they are now after everything. Especially considering the whole confession the night before.

"So—"

"—what do we do now?"

Donghyuck's eyes widen, and Mark grins like he just won the lottery. "How did you know?" He asks, equally as shocked as he is impressed.

"I was wondering the same thing," Mark explains, wishing he weren't so busy driving so that he could look at Donghyuck's pretty face, which he assumes looks adorably confused and—hopefully—flushed. The image of Donghyuck's cheeks going all rosy because of him hasn't left his head since the day he saw it happen for the first time.

Donghyuck hums, relaxing into the seat for real now. "So?"

"Well." Mark's hold on the steering wheel tightens, his hands going sweaty and his heart beginning to race, suddenly getting nervous to ask his best friend of many years out, though he knows his chances of getting rejected are probably in the negatives. "I want to take you out."

A sudden silence falls over them, and Mark swears his heart stops beating. Thankfully, Donghyuck says something, his voice so quiet Mark almost misses it.

"Yeah, okay."

Okay? That certainly wasn't the reaction Mark was expecting. Sure, Donghyuck can't exactly jump in joy and run three laps inside of a moving car, but 'yeah, okay'? That's too small of a reaction. Where's the enthusiasm?

Not knowing if he should push, Mark does anyway, feeling a little… hurt at the lack of reaction. "Okay?"

Donghyuck nods as if Mark is looking at him, which he actually is, sparing a second away from the road ahead to glance over only to find Donghyuck hiding his face behind his hands. Even though he's trying to hide from Mark, Mark can still see the flush on his neck and ears, as well as the way his cheeks lift from how hard he's smiling.

He reaches over, eyes back on the road but hand now on Donghyuck's thigh, squeezing it lightly without thinking much of it.

"Hyuck?"

Donghyuck squirms slightly in his seat, pulling a hand away from his face. "Yes?" He manages to squeak out, carefully peeling Mark’s fingers off his thigh, only to then have his hand captured in the warmth of Mark’s.

"Is something wrong?"

"No," he replies immediately, not wanting Mark to get the wrong idea. "You're just…" he glances down at their hands, his heart nearly skipping out his chest. "Very forward."

Mark laughs quietly. "Forward?"

"Yeah," Donghyuck says, nodding. "If anything, I expected to be the one to make the first move."

"I don't know what I'm doing," Mark admits softly, finally turning the car into a smaller street leading away from the highway. "And… I'm actually really nervous."

A perfectly placed red light comes into view, and Mark takes the few moments they have there to turn, finally looking into Donghyuck's eyes like he's wanted to the whole drive. "But… I'm trying. I really want this to work. I want us to work."

The red hue on Donghyuck's cheeks mellows down into a soft pink, his lips turning up into a small smile, his eyes fond. "I want us to work too," he replies with all the confidence he has in them in his heart.

The light turns green again and Mark continues driving only this time, it's with one hand, the other busy holding Donghyuck's, fingers interlaced and rested on top of the center console.

It's not long after their second confession within the past day that they pull up to the parking lot of Donghyuck's apartment building. Mark parks the car, though he isn't going up to Donghyuck's apartment—he just doesn't want Donghyuck to go yet. Donghyuck seems to feel the same way too, not making any move to even unbuckle his seatbelt. He stares at his thumb, the way it wraps around the steering wheel, his other fingers hidden by the bend of his hand. He really doesn't want to let Donghyuck go—though he knows they'll probably text by the time he gets back to his own apartment—these not-so-new feelings making it even harder to separate since now he knows how Donghyuck feels about him.

"Mark?" Donghyuck calls, hand shifting under Mark's.

Mark glances over and nearly melts, still in disbelief of everything that has happened between them in the past day. "Yeah?" He clears his throat, voice slightly hoarse from his throat going dry after keeping quiet most of the drive.

"So… about taking me out."

"Oh." He nods, turning to fully face Donghyuck, eyes big and bright with determination. "Whenever you can. I'm free on the weekends, but if you're not I can make time for you during the week too."

Donghyuck bites back a shy giggle, strange flutter rising in his chest at the sight of Mark being so willing for him. "I'm free on the weekends too. And on other days, just after six pm."

Mark nods again, already planning their first date. First date. He can't even wrap his head around the fact that he and Donghyuck will be going on their first date pretty soon. Just thinking about it makes his heart race. "Okay. So… I'll see you on Saturday then? We could go out to eat, or you can come over. Like a date at home, you know? Or maybe we can go to a museum—do you still like those?"

Donghyuck laughs, the sound warm and soft. "Slow down, Mark," he says between small chuckles. "You don't have to plan everything right now, you know."

Mark takes a breath, it taking Donghyuck to interrupt him for him to realize he started blabbering again. "Right, yeah." He gives Donghyuck a sheepish grin.

"I should go now," He says, voice softening something that makes the nerves in Mark’s heart calm instantly. "I'll text you, okay?"

Mark reluctantly lets go of Donghyuck's hand, murmuring a small "bye," as he watches the boy slip out the front seat, head to the back to grab his bag, and then wave before walking away. He stares until Donghyuck's figure is no longer visible, and only then does he think that he should've helped Donghyuck with his bag.

。。°。°。°。°。°

Through the week, they text as promised, but they don't discuss the date much. Mark, though, spends every second when he isn't actively using his brain for something work related to plan it. He has thought of many things they could do—dinner, movies, visiting a museum, or maybe even visiting those holiday light displays in the city. But with each idea came its flaws.

Dinner is too basic. And he's been on enough dinner dates to know that they're kinda boring. But if it's Donghyuck, he doesn't mind. He's sure they'll fall into their usual conversations full of stupid jokes and smart remarks. Still, he doesn't choose that as his main idea to surprise Donghyuck with.

If anything is more basic than a dinner date, it's definitely a movie date. While it's special in its own way because of the memories they share from when they'd have those movie marathons as teenagers, it's still not date material. They can watch movies at home.

Who the hell actually likes museums? Is what Mark asks himself when he thinks back at the conversation they had in his car a few days ago. He means no disrespect to people who like them—Donghyuck—but it's still a last resort idea.

The only idea he sees fit for their date is the holiday lights. He knows a lot of parks in the area that set up these beautiful displays with many lights and decorations. But the biggest flaw with this idea is that the amount of families there will be crazy. That, and they need to go when it's dark out, and he doesn't want Donghyuck to suffer from the cold.

Even though Mark literally just opposed to being out in the night and in the cold, he still is stuck up on one idea. The idea being: ice skating. Does he know how to ice skate? No. Not a clue. Does Donghyuck know how to ice skate? He does. He did. Mark doesn't know if he still remembers how to, but he definitely remembers Donghyuck practically begging him to go ice skating with him all of winter break junior year of high school, because he had learned how to when he was younger and desperately wanted to show off. Back then, Mark was too scared to ice skate. What if he fell? He was sure to fall, and he didn't want the pain and embarrassment that comes with doing so. But now, Mark is a grown man. And he's determined to ice skate if it means seeing Donghyuck happy.

Mark searches the internet for some outdoor skating rinks as those tend to be decorated, so it's like the holiday lights idea but better. After not much searching, he comes across The Ribbon, which looks big enough to where they won't be overcrowded, and the price to skate isn't too bad. He buys their tickets, and suddenly he's more excited than he ever thought he would be for ice skating.

。。°。°。°。°。°

Saturday comes far too slowly for his excitement and way too quickly for his nerves. All week, Mark has been a mess of good and bad nerves. Some may argue that the all nerves are good nerves in this case—it shows he cares and what not. But constantly thinking about every possible scenario should definitely be categorized with the bad stuff, because he can't help but think of all the ways he could embarrass Donghyuck or maybe even put him off.

Whether Mark likes it or not, though, Saturday comes around and he can't do anything to stop it for the sake of his worries.

He wakes up in the morning way earlier than he usually does. Like, work day levels of early. Who gets up at seven in the morning on the weekend willingly? Only a man who doesn't know if he's more scared or excited. The second his eyes crack open and take in the beautiful view of his wall in the dark, he can't sleep any more. He tosses and turns in an attempt to get a few more hours of shut-eye, but it's to no avail. He just can't sleep knowing of his plans later in the day. Tired yet wide awake, he slides out of bed, deciding to do something good with himself to kill some time.

Mark stands at the bathroom mirror, staring at his half-naked self as he debates showering now or later. Showering now means he'll fully wake up and start the day fresh but that also risks him getting sweaty throughout the day. Showering later means he might be groggy for a few hours, but he'll be fresh for Donghyuck. Then again, they are going ice skating in the winter with their winter coats on, so they're bound to get sweaty anyway…

He does end up showering, and then proceeds to spend the day doing things that require the least amount of movement to avoid building a sweat up, his plans on being productive completely flying out the window just so he can smell good for Donghyuck—though he'll surely put on a enough cologne before leaving anyway.

Around 3 P.M., Mark texts Donghyuck, letting him know what time to be ready without telling him what they're going to do, only instructing him to dress warmly. He then gets ready, sifting through his closet multiple times until he decides on straight-fitting khaki jeans, paired with a cream colored crew neck layered on top of a white shirt. It's a simple outfit, and jeans might not be the best choice to go ice skating in, but after searching the internet (Reddit) for advice, many say that sweatpants would be ideal, but he doesn't want to wear sweatpants on his fist date with Donghyuck.

By 4 P.M., he's ready to go. His heart rate is already elevated by the time he gets to the car, so he takes a few moments to breathe, because he definitely needs to right now. He reminds himself that it's Donghyuck, not some random person he found off of a dating app or something. That manages to calm Mark down, as he knows Donghyuck. Knows what he likes, what he doesn't like, how he acts, how he jokes, everything. So the possibility of Mark ruining it is pretty low, and that is really his only fear.

Mark arrives at Donghyuck's apartment, unsure if he should go up or not. In the end, he decides to head up, having bought Donghyuck a small bouquet of flowers on his way over. They aren't much—just some available at the store—but he just wanted to bring something for him. If memory serves him correctly, Donghyuck used to be quite the romantic in their high school days. Or at least as much of a romantic a teenager can get through cheesy movies and K-dramas.

He decides to not text Donghyuck, instead knocking on the door with his heart racing so fast it might leap out his chest. But oddly enough, it calms when Donghyuck opens the door, those pretty eyes peeking through the crack as if shy.

"Mark? You’re here early," he says, voice softer than usual. "Um… give me a moment."

Mark swallows then nods, watching as Donghyuck retreats back into his apartment. He shifts the bouquet from his right hand to his left, then back to the right one again, only stopping when he realizes the movement is making a few loose leafs fall off and onto the carpet of the hallway.

His attention is drawn back to the door when it swings open again, revealing Donghyuck, who looks absolutely precious—even more than he usually does—his hair styled differently than usual in loose curls that frame his face perfectly, bangs parted to show his forehead. Mark swallows softly, eyes trailing over Donghyuck's soft features as well as his outfit, which is pretty similar to Mark's, though his coat is definitely more stylish than Mark's old puffer.

"Hey," Mark breathes, cheeks heating up slowly but surely. He extends the bouquet with both hands, regretting it slightly as he knows he probably looks silly doing so. "I… I got you these."

Donghyuck's eyes drop to the bouquet, which isn't the prettiest he's ever seen, but the shine in Mark's eye and the way he chews on the bottom of his lip while waiting for him to react is better than any kind of exotic flower or expensive gift.

"Mark…" He smiles, his cheeks matching the shade of one of the prettier pink flowers in the bunch. "You didn't have to," he murmurs, taking the gift from Mark's hands. "Thank you so much. Let me find a vase, okay?"

Mark nods, and Donghyuck disappears back into his apartment for a few minutes, returning with that same smile that makes Mark feel like he's a teenager, exploring his feelings for Donghyuck all over again.

"Ready to go?"

Donghyuck's nods, and then he takes Mark's hand, their fingers intertwining.

"So, where are we going?" Donghyuck asks once he's buckled up, turning his head to face Mark, who is already looking at him with that fond look on his face that hasn't left him since the week before when they confessed.

"It's a surprise," Mark replies simply.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, but a smile still spreads on his lips. "Why are you being secretive?" He asks in a whine. "Just tell me."

Mark shakes his head, still smiling foolishly. "No, it'll ruin the surprise."

He leaves it at that, turning back over to actually be able to watch the road as he starts to drive, occasionally stealing glances at Donghyuck, who sits there chatting about something completely unrelated to their date, proving he didn't really care about not knowing—just as Mark suspected—and really only wanted to whine for the fun of it.

Donghyuck's eyes scan their surroundings as they get to the park where the ice rink is located, looking slightly confused but still content. "We're not there yet," Mark comments, parking the car and turning to Donghyuck when he notices his silence. "Come on." They step out the vehicle, and Mark guides Donghyuck by the hand towards their real destination—the rather large and semi-full ice skating rink.

He glances around again, eyes widening before turning to Mark again, an adorably wide grin plastered on his face. "Ice skating? We're going ice skating?"

Mark's heart does that little flutter it does whenever Donghyuck smiles at him like this. "Yeah," he says, voice so soft it almost scares him.

Donghyuck squeals softly, but then his smile drops. "But… I thought you were too scared to skate. You used to always say you didn't want to risk it."

"I'm fine now," Mark replies as if he isn't shaking in his boots just thinking about all the things that could go wrong. He's a grown man now. He reminds himself this over and over again. He can do a bit of skating.

Donghyuck blinks, then that delighted smile returns, making his pretty features even more angelic to look it. "You know how to skate now?"

Mark swallows. "No."

"Oh."

"You can teach me."

Once the both of them have their rental skates sorted out and put on, they waddle over to one of the entrances. Mark has already stumbled over twice while trying to get to the ice, but he pushes through it, telling himself it'll all be okay once he's on the ice. Donghyuck steps into the rink easily, taking a few moments to get familiar with the ice again. Once familiarized, he slides over, waiting for Mark to enter after him.

Mark gulps and almost backs off, but he doesn't, instead stepping onto the ice and immediately gripping onto the railing. Donghyuck laughs at that, finding the way Mark is hunched over and looking like one of those frozen shrimps hilarious.

"Stop laughing and help me," Mark huffs, nearly tumbling over when he tries to straighten up again.

"Okay, okay," He giggles, gliding over to assist his poor date. "Well firstly, stop shuffling in place. You're just gonna fall over that way."

Mark groans quietly. "Maybe this wasn't a good idea," he mumbles, but follows Donghyuck's instructions and manages to straighten up.

Donghyuck shakes his head, biting back the urge to tease Mark for how bad at this he already is. "Nonsense," he ends up saying instead, gently reaching down to grab Mark's hand. "I'll teach you, okay?"

Mark nods, one hand in Donghyuck's, the other gripping onto the railing, putting all his strength there to avoid crushing Donghyuck's hand.

At first, Mark isn't just bad, he's horrible. But after a few breaks and Donghyuck's gentle guidance, he starts to get the hang of it, gliding a little more comfortably without feeling like he's about to fall face first onto the ice.

Thankfully, there aren't a ton of people on the part of the rink where they are at—just a few families and couples skating by—so when Donghyuck finally convinces Mark to let go of the railing and only hang onto his hand, Mark actually does it. It feels scary to let go of the railing at first, but then it becomes less frightening and more fun to glide alongside Donghyuck, fingers intertwined.

"You're good," Donghyuck says, looking at Mark with those soft eyes he always melts for. He snorts, "And to think you were scared."

"I still am scared," Mark replies, sounding annoyed but looking anything but, cheeks all rosy from both the cold and Donghyuck's gaze. "But I guess it's not that bad."

The sun starts to set when they glide over to the side for a break, their breaths coming in short gasps after a near fall that almost made them both tumble over. Donghyuck laughs at nothing at particular—maybe their situation, or the way Mark's hair is all messed up under his beanie—and Mark smiles too, heart pounding in a way that doesn't have anything to do with the exercise they've been doing for the past hour or so.

"Cold?" Mark asks when Donghyuck shivers, cheeks and nose a soft pink that compliments the warm tone of his skin. Donghyuck nods, then scoots closer, tucking his arms under Mark's arms and around his waist, completely trusting that he won't take them both down. He peeks up at Mark through his lashes, and Mark's breath gets caught somewhere between his ribs and throat.

"What is it?" He hums, not realizing how wide his eyes might be as they cause Donghyuck to laugh again, warm and gentle.

"Nothing," He mumbles, resting his chin on Mark's shoulder, hugging him completely and not caring for the curious eyes of the group of little kids that glide past them. "Just happy."

Mark wraps his free hand around Donghyuck, fingers gently digging into the soft fabric of his coat. "I'm happy too," he whispers back, hoping Donghyuck heard him but unsure due to how quiet his voice came out. Luckily, he did hear him, as he pulls his head back, blinking up at him in an almost curious manner.

Donghyuck's tongue flicks out to wet his pink, plump lips, and his voice comes out soft and sweet when he speaks. "Can I kiss you?" He asks, cheeks turning a darker shade of pink right as the words come out his mouth.

Mark hesitates for a breath, lips parting wordlessly. But he doesn't need to say anything to accept the request, leaning in to press a gentle yet sure kiss to Donghyuck's lips, feeling how he parts his lips after a handful of seconds against Mark's. The kiss doesn't last very long, nor is it all that deep, but it carries more weight than any of the other ones they've shared, like it's sealing something that has been left open for far too long. When they part, neither of them say anything, just share air and gaze into each other's eyes like they're the only ones in the rink.

Mark clears his throat softly, breaking the calm silence between them. His fingers curl a little tighter around the railing, the coldness of the metal grounding him before he finally allows himself to ask something he's been wanting to for God knows how long.

"Is it too early to ask you to be my boyfriend?"

Donghyuck blinks once. Twice. Then his eyes widen with something that reads like horror. "Have we… not been dating this whole time?"

Mark pauses, now confused, too. "What? Since when—"

"Since we went to your mom's house last week," Donghyuck cuts in. "I thought— that night when we talked… I thought that was us agreeing to date."

Mark gulps, thinking back to that night as well. While technically they did confess to each other, they never confirmed anything, so he didn't think—

"And then in the morning, you kissed me! Twice!"

"Yeah, well—"

"Mark!" Donghyuck huffs, looking embarrassed yet somehow still a little amused.

"Okay, well if you thought we were dating," Mark starts, then quiets his voice down to avoid nosy people from glancing in their direction. "Why did you get so flustered when I asked you out?"

"B-because!" Donghyuck says, stumbling over his own words in that adorable way he does whenever he's nervous. "I was like 'Oh, this is our first date as boyfriend's,' so I felt a little shy because it hit me that we were finally dating."

Mark can't help but laugh at Donghyuck's reasoning, the way his face became a blushing mess back then now making sense. He sighs softly. "And here I was, all nervous that I'd do something today to make you not want to date me. Like fall in an ugly manner or something."

Donghyuck laughs too, the absurdity of the situation taking away from his embarrassment from the miscommunication. "God, I would never not want to date you because you fell in an 'ugly' manner, Mark."

A sigh of relief leaves Mark, though he already knew—for the most part—that Donghyuck isn't as shallow as to not want someone based on the way they look while falling.

"So…" Donghyuck murmurs, leaning closer. "Are you going to ask me now?" He whispers, looking excited and even a little nervous.

Mark nods, clearing his throat again for dramatic effect. "Donghyuck," he starts, leaning in as well, his forehead pressing against Donghyuck's gently. "Will you be my boyfriend?" He doesn't see or hear Donghyuck's response, instead, his lips are met with his again in a kiss he can only describe as perfect and life altering, though slightly sloppy.

As much as Mark wants to deepen the kiss and pull Donghyuck in, exploring his mouth until they're both hot and breathless, he doesn't, leaving it as something sweeter rather than deep and exploratory. There's children at the rink, after all. And he'd much rather do that in the comfort of either one of their apartments where they're warm and tangled up in each other's arms.

Donghyuck pulls away, a thin coating of saliva on his bottom lip which he licks away with a small smile. He unwraps himself from around Mark, his hand going next to Mark's on the railing to steady himself and his wobbly legs. "We should keep skating, hm?"

Mark nods, glancing at his watch and realizing they have a little less than an hour left in their session. "Yeah," he says, shifting uncomfortably. "One moment."

Donghyuck's eyes drop. "Oh."

The car is almost as cold—if not colder—than the air outside when Mark and Donghyuck finally make it back inside, shivering while waiting for the heaters to do their job. Mark turns to Donghyuck, eyes trailing over his soft features appreciatively.

"Did you have fun?"

Donghyuck nods, and Mark watches as his slightly messy hair bounces gently. He reaches out, flattening those soft curls which fly in all kinds of directions with soft strokes. "I had a lot of fun," he says, instinctively leaning into Mark's touch. "But now I'm hungry."

Mark hums, pulling his hand away when he's satisfied with how Donghyuck's hair looks—not that he wasn't before, but his messy hair would definitely distract him while driving because of how lovely it makes the boy look. "We can go eat something, since we're already out."

"I want to go home," Donghyuck says, and Mark frowns. "Oh, don't look at me like that," he coos softly his own hand reaching up this time, slowly tracing the defined line of Mark's jaw with his fingers. "I'm inviting you over."

"So, we'll eat at yours?" He asks, and Donghyuck nods.

"Yeah. And we can continue our date indoors. It's getting late and dark and much colder."

Mark agrees and then turns away, not because he wants to stop looking at that beautiful face which belongs to his boyfriend, but because he has to drive said boyfriend home so that they can continue with their silly little date.

Donghyuck's hand creeps over and grabs onto Mark's arm simply because he wants to, and it makes Mark smile to himself and think about how they're really together now. Boyfriends. He never thought he'd be able to say that's what he and Donghyuck are now.

。。°。°。°。°。°

A soft light flickers through the room as Mark scrolls through the third streaming service of the night, not finding anything neither of them are all too interested in watching. Donghyuck sits beside him, head on Mark's shoulder, legs curled up on the couch. He watches Mark switch to another streaming service and yawns, clearly bored. "Maybe we should just do something else," he comments absentmindedly, fingers playing with a loose string on the stitching along Mark's sleeve.

"Like what?"

"I dunno."

Mark shuts the TV off, setting down the remote on the coffee table before leaning back on the couch, causing Donghyuck's head to slip off his shoulder. He pouts, then gets comfortable against Mark again, sighing dramatically.

"What's wrong?" Mark asks after very clearly being prompted to do so. "Is the date boring now?" He adds, voice more quiet. "I'm sorry."

Donghyuck shoots up, looking guilty. "No— not at all. I was just being dramatic, but I'm enjoying this." He grabs Mark's hand, intertwining their fingers carefully. "Really, I am."

Mark gives him a small smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes, instead looking quite sad. "You sure? You know you can tell me if you're not enjoying it."

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, looking more playful than annoyed. "There you go again," he murmurs, shuffling close enough to where his legs are half way on Mark's lap, like he's deciding whether or not he wants to sit on him completely. "Being a dummy and over thinking everything." He leans in, pressing an innocently soft kiss to the corner of Mark's mouth. "Stop worrying so much, me being bored right now won't suddenly make today bad."

Mark smiles sheepishly, his cheeks flushing a soft pink at the touch. He doesn't have much to say to Donghyuck other than he's right, and that he's aware that a little bit of bordem won't ruin their time together. But instead of actually saying that out loud, he leans in for another kiss—a proper one, this time—their lips brushing against each other's shyly. Donghyuck sighs into it, his hand coming up to cradle Mark's jaw, thumb caressing his cheek so gently that it makes him melt into the connection even more.

"I know," he breathes once they part for air, watching Donghyuck's eyes roam over his features. "But I can't help but worry."

"Stop worrying," Donghyuck whispers, pressing his forehead against Mark's, bangs tangling with his. "Just for now, at least." He swallows, stealing another small peck from his boyfriend's lips, sucking on the bottom one gently before letting go. "Pay attention to me instead."

Mark follows closely behind Donghyuck as if hypnotized, and as soon as the door to the boy's bedroom door shuts closed behind them, he can't keep his hands to himself anymore. He pulls Donghyuck closer by the waist, spinning him around and dipping his head down to that spot he realized was sensitive on that night a few weeks ago, sucking gently and drawing a soft gasp from Donghyuck's parted lips.

If there's one thing Mark didn't like about their date today, it wouldn't be anything about the date itself, more so the fact that he was itching like a teenager to do something—anything—to make Donghyuck make those sweet sounds he made the one time they fucked. He tried to suppress such thoughts all throughout the date, but seeing Donghyuck's smiling face and flushed cheeks only made him wonder… what would his face look like while making said sounds?

Donghyuck's arms wrap around Mark's neck, inviting him closer as they slowly make the short trip from the door to the bed, Donghyuck landing on it softly and immediately scooting back to give Mark room to climb on top of him. Mark supports himself on his elbows, eyes tracing each soft line and gentle curve of Donghyuck's beautiful face, committing it to memory.

Their lips meet slow and exploratory, parting with soft sighs as Mark's tongue runs along Donghyuck's bottom lip, tasting the lingering flavor of green onions that garnished the meal Donghyuck made them. Outside, his hands slide down Donghyuck's sides, then carefully under his shirt, feeling the softness of Donghyuck's warm skin against his palm. Donghyuck's fingers curl in Mark's hair, ruining the style he tried so hard on within seconds, pulling gently on the dark strands as he gets lost in the sensation of Mark's body against his own.

"Mark," Donghyuck gasps, back arching slightly when Mark's thumb brushes over his nipple, causing it to harden under the fingerpad instantly. He whines when Mark touches it again, pinching the sensitive bud soft with purpose. "Mmh, n-not there…"

Mark pauses at Donghyuck's small whisper, not wanting to push things too far for their first—well, second—proper time together. "You okay?"

Donghyuck nods, cheeks flushed beyond belief. "Yeah," he breathes, pushing his chest against Mark's hand despite his earlier complaint. "I like it. It's just sensitive." Mark hums, carefully rolling the small peak between his fingers experimentally instead of pinching it, knowing he did it right when he draws out a very pleased yet soft moan from Donghyuck, his brows furrowed and eyes fluttered closed, those long lashes casting light shadows on his red cheeks.

He continues on, leaving Donghyuck's nipples alone for just a moment as he tugs his shirt off completely, taking in the sight of him laying so prettily under him that it almost feels unreal.

"Take this off" he whispers, slowly pulling Mark's shirt up to reveal his lower abdomen, eyes glued to the faint trail of hair disappearing into his jeans. Mark obliges, pulling his shirt off completely to allow Donghyuck's hands to wander about, fingers sliding up Mark's sides, over his chest and onto his shoulders, feeling their broadness with feather light, almost worshipful touches. His fingers travel up to the back of Mark's head, pulling him down to capture his lips in a slow, delicate kiss, their lips both barely brushing before fully melting into each other.

Mark breaks the connection, wet lips tracing each little mole down Donghyuck's body, starting at the four cute ones on his cheek, down to the ones on his neck, then chest, and finally stomach, until he gets stopped by the waistband of his pants. His hands move on their own to the silver button keeping Donghyuck's jeans shut, but he stops himself and glances up at Donghyuck, who hasn't taken his eyes away from Mark since the second they stepped into the bedroom.

Realizing what Mark wants, Donghyuck nods—slowly at first, and then more confidently. Mark's fingers are slow when he pops open the button and unzips Donghyuck's pants, the sound practially echoing in the room filled with only their breathing. Mark pulls Donghyuck's pants and underwear off in one go, earning himself a small, surprised squeak that caught both him and Donghyuck off guard from how high pitched it was.

Donghyuck squirms on the bed slightly, thighs pressing together as if to hide himself, red washing over his face and neck. "Stop staring," he mumbles, finally tearing his eyes away from Mark now that he's comepletely bare and unable to look him in the eye anymore.

"You told me to pay attention to you," Mark replies, tone all soft and soothing in that way that both calms Donghyuck's heart and makes his stomach flip at the same time. "And you're too beautiful not to stare," he adds, and it's clear each word is genuine, the look in his eyes telling Donghyuck as much.

Donghyuck's hands come up and he covers his face, attempting to hide the redness of it. "I know I did," he whispers into his skin. "But it's making me shy now that I'm naked."

Mark hums, hands running up and down Donghyuck's soft thighs, making the boy shiver. He lets go of Donghyuck's soft body to step out of his own clothes, then reaches for the drawer where the lube and condoms were stored the last time they did this. Opening the drawer, Mark counts only one box of condoms—the ones that actually ended up fitting him.

He climbs back on to the bed and between Donghyuck's legs, spreading them to be able to properly open him up. Before doing anything, he can't help but ask: "What happened to the other box?"

"Huh?"

"The condoms. The smaller box."

Donghyuck pauses, hands falling from his face. "Oh. Those." He swallows, then murmurs almost inaudibly, "I got rid of them."

It makes sense he threw them away, Mark thinks, and he almost doesn't ask anything else but the curiosity has been eating at him since that day—why did Donghyuck have two different sizes of unopened condoms?

He really wasn't planning on being this nosy, but... "Why did you have that other box?" He asks quietly, unable to help himself.

Donghyuck swallows, looking like he wants to disappear from the face of the earth.

"They were for you," he explains quietly. "I didn't know your size so I just… guessed."

Mark's heart nearly stops at Donghyuck's whispered explanation. Thinking back to their first time, there really wasn't anything going on between them that indicated they would end up sleeping together, so was Donghyuck… hoping for it? And that also means Mark's earlier jealousy—which he pushed away, or at least tried to push away—about Donghyuck sleeping with other people really has no reason to exist, because he wasn't actively having sex with anyone else.

Mark doesn't know if he should be finding this hot, or cute, or if he should be as happy as he is about Donghyuck wanting him and only him, but he is. He's so fucking happy that he doesn't even hear Donghyuck's calls of his name, looking both worried and slightly amused.

"Hello? Mark?"

Mark blinks, wiping the stupid grin that spread on his face off. "Yeah?" He replies, voice slightly hoarse.

"Are you gonna continue or just stare at me for the rest of the night?"

Mark chuckles, pressing a kiss to the tip of Donghyuck's nose before popping open the bottle of lube and squeezing a generous amount of the gel onto his fingers. He warms in his fingers before lowering his hand between Donghyuck's legs. "Spread a little wider for me," he says and Donghyuck listens, giving Mark more room to get closer, finger pads rubbing at the tight rim of muscle before pushing one digit in. "Tell me if it hurts," he murmurs, pulling out then sinking back in, curling his finger to carefully open Donghyuck up.

Donghyuck exhales shakily, small little grunts rising from deep within his throat and coming out high-pitched, the sound going directly to Mark's almost painfully hard cock.

"Good?" He checks, pressing another lightweight kiss to Donghyuck's face, this time to his flushed, heated cheek. Donghyuck nods, and so Mark keeps going.

A soft whimper leaves Donghyuck's lips as Mark pushes in a second finger, his hole stretching around it perfectly, making soft squealches with each thrust of the lube-covered digits. He tries to close his legs when Mark's fingertips brush past a certain bundle of nerves, but he pushes them back open, pressing soft kisses to Donghyuck's collar bones while continuing the stretching of his boyfriend's hole.

"You're doing so good," he whispers, his own cock aching for attention as well, but he knows Donghyuck's pleasure and comfort should come first so he ignores it, instead continuing to carefully suck and bite at Donghyuck's neck as a distraction instead. Donghyuck tilts his head back into the pillows, messy bangs falling away from his face to reveal the way his brows are knitted together, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.

Mark makes sure to take his time to get Donghyuck nice and ready for him, until he has Donghyuck practically begging him to get inside him already.

"Please," Donghyuck gasps when a his hole hugs a third finger, walls fluttering around the intrusion. "Mark…"

"Yeah?"

"I-I'm ready," he pants, reaching down to grab onto Mark's wrist, stopping the movements that bring him such pleasure. "Come on, put it in."

Mark gulps, looking down into Donghyuck's big, glossy eyes, not sure if the stars in his eyes are because he's looking at Mark, or it's just the light reflecting off of Donghyuck's brown doe-like eyes. He leans down, stealing a kiss from those pink, heart-shaped lips, pulling away before Donghyuck can return it.

Slowly, he slips his fingers out of Donghyuck's entrance, wiping them off on the blanket and making a mental note to change the bedsheets once they're done. He rips open a condom packet, rolling it on and lathering his latex covered cock with a generous amount of lube before lining up with Donghyuck's ready hole.

"Tell me if it hurts," he whispers against Donghyuck's lips, slotting them against his as he slowly pushes past the tight rim of Donghyuck's hole. He groans into the boy's mouth, the heat and tightness of Donghyuck's body nearly driving him insane.

For some reason, it feels different this time around. Maybe it's because of the way Donghyuck's arms wrap around his neck, or maybe it's because Mark knows how Donghyuck feels about him now. Whatever it is, it makes Mark's heart race, his hands trembling lightly as he pulls away, fingers carefully holding Donghyuck by the waist like he's something precious—which, he is—before slowly pulling out, then sinking back in.

Donghyuck's ankles lock behind the small of Mark's back, eyes kept closed while Mark builds a steady pace, making him whimper with each thrust hitting right near his prostate. Mark can't keep his eyes off of Donghyuck's face, how his brows furrow, his lips parting with each moan that progressively gets faster. The sight is too much for him—too pretty, too perfect, too right. It's like this is what he's been living life for.

Not for sex with Donghyuck, but for this level of closeness to him. This feeling of connection that goes far beyond just physical.

He leans forward, gently bending Donghyuck in half, fingers digging into the soft flesh of the back of his thighs, thrusts growing faster without loosing their purpose or care.

"O—oh!" Donghyuck cries out, eyes cracking open, meeting Mark's heated yet fond gaze.

"Fuck, you feel so good," Mark pants, hips snapping forward, continuously burying himself deep into Donghyuck's tightness, barely even able to hold back his eye roll at the sensation of Donghyuck's walls fluttering around his cock.

Donghyuck's fingers tangle in Mark's already messed up hair, gently tugging on the messy black strands that slowly dampen with sweat from the repeated movement. "Kiss," he pleas breathlessly.

Mark immediately shifts forward, wrapping Donghyuck's legs around him again to give himself more room to lean down, meeting Donghyuck in a wet, messy kiss, their moans and saliva mixing together. The wetness of their kissing fills the room, along with the soft creaking of Donghyuck's bed, and the slap of Mark's hips against the boy's plump ass.

"Mark—" Donghyuck gasps, breaking the kiss while panting heavily. "Right there," he cries, eyes rolling back when Mark's cock nudges at his prostate over and over again, making him see stars. "Angh.. there— fuck, please," he grunts and begs, not knowing exactly what he's begging for, just knowing that it feels right in this moment.

Mark's brain goes fuzzy at the sound of Donghyuck's whiny voice. He has always known that Donghyuck's voice is a little higher-pitched than his, but each little noise coming from him now sends electric shocks down his body, and knowing that he's the reason Donghyuck making such sounds inflates his ego just a little bit.

Donghyuck's hands shift from the back of Mark’s head to his shoulders, fingers digging into the warmth of his sweaty skin. His whole body trembles and bounces lightly with each thrust, ignored cock aching between their bodies, the only attention it gets coming from the way their bodies rub together.

Mark's hand drops between the two of them, taking Donghyuck's slippery cock in his fist and stroking it in time with the light slaps of his hips. He runs his thumb over his sensitive slit, eliciting louder, more needy moans and whines that only make him double down on his efforts, cock driving into Donghyuck's hole like a man gone mad.

"Ah— Ma—ark— I'm so close," Donghyuck cries out, eyes filling with hot tears of pleasure and overwhelming emotion. Mark watches as a singular tear drops from the corner of Donghyuck's eye, leaving a wet little trail on his reddened cheek, only then understanding why people are into crying during sex. It might just be the single best thing he has ever laid his upon. Maybe it's because it's Donghyuck—the person he's been in love with—or maybe it's because Mark is the reason he's crying out of sheer pleasure, but he's sure as hell enjoying the sight before him.

His hand speeds up, strokes growing sloppier as it gets harder for Mark to hold his release back. "Baby," he pants, the endearment slipping out so naturally that neither of them notice. "I-I'm close too," he admits with a shaky voice, hips slowing to a deep roll rather than messy slaps against Donghyuck's flushed ass.

Donghyuck whimpers at the new sensation, eyes rolling back. His cock twitches helplessly in Mark's still moving hand, drooling all over his lover's fingers. With one final broken cry, he spills onto Mark's skin and his own stomach, painting them with white stripes.

Mark groans at the sight of Donghyuck coming all over himself and his hand, stroking him through it and continuing his slow, deep movements against Donghyuck's hot walls.

It doesn't take very long for Mark to finish too, spilling into the condom with a low moan and a soft curse, his eyes never leaving Donghyuck's heavy-lidded gaze.

Mark pulls out, tugging off the condom and tying it before collapsing next to Donghyuck, pulling him flush against his chest, fingers splaying against his sweat-covered back. Though he pants heavily, he buries his face in Donghyuck's neck, inhaling his scent deeply.

Meanwhile, Donghyuck lays in Mark's arms, his own weakly curling around Mark's waist, holding him close despite the immense heat he feels running through his body. He blinks, still in a daze after the most passionate encounter of his life, lower back aching deliciously, not letting him forget even a second of the satisfaction Mark gave him.

A few moments of comfortable silence passes between the two before Mark pulls back enough to look at Donghyuck's sweet expression, a hand coming up to gently brush away the bangs that stick on his forehead.

"You okay?" He asks, voice and body still trembling from the intensity of his orgasm.

Donghyuck hums, lashes fluttering up at Mark prettily. A lazy, fucked-out smile spreads on his kiss-swollen lips, the sound of his voice coming out weak and slightly strained when he speaks. "I'm great." He coughs. "I might need some water, though."

Mark nods, gently releasing Donghyuck to then slip off the bed, making the slightly awkward and very naked walk from the bedroom to the kitchen, returning with a glass of water for him. He fights Donghyuck's whines, lifting him just enough to where he's sitting properly in order to not choke while drinking.

"I could've laid," Donghyuck mumbles, and then proceeds to chug down the cool liquid like his life depends on it, gasping for air dramatically once he's done.

Mark shakes his head, laughing quietly. "And choke? No thank you."

"You're dramatic," he says as if he didn't just drink water in the most extra way imaginable. "Nothing would've happened."

"I just want you to be safe, don't fight me on this."

"I'm not fighting you, I'm just saying." He goes to lay down again, but Mark stops him, tugging him by his arm until—reluctantly—he gets up, groaning. "Maaark. I want to cuddle, what are you doing?"

"I'm cleaning up," Mark replies like it's the most obvious thing in the world—which, it is. Who sleeps on sheets as dirty as the ones on Donghyuck's bed?

"Just change the blanket," Donghyuck says, shifting from one foot to the other, the floor creaking softly beneath his weight. "Nothing got on the actual sheets.

Mark hums, but takes a moment to asses the state of the sheets anyway, only agreeing with Donghyuck when he feels the boy's arms wrap around his waist from behind, soft lips pressing kisses to his back.

"It's okay, really."

After a pause, Mark finally makes his mind up. He'll do as Donghyuck says—only change the top blanket since nothing leaked anywhere else—as well as wipe them both down to ensure maximum comfort while they cuddle.

Once both the bed and they are nice and cleaned up, Mark tugs on an extra shirt Donghyuck lent him, as well as some loose shorts. He climbs into bed and Donghyuck follows directly after, tucking himself under Mark's chin, breathing softly against his skin. Mark runs his fingers through Donghyuck's soft hair, carefully undoing a few tangles that were made in the process of their earlier activities.

Donghyuck whines quietly when Mark pulls on a particularly difficult knot. "Sorry," Mark whispers, his fingers working even slower to get rid of that pesky bit of hair.

Donghyuck sighs against Mark's neck when his boyfriend can finally run his fingers through his hair without getting caught, his whole body melting against Mark's, now fully relaxed. He doesn't know what time it is or how long it's been since he and Mark weren't touching each other in some sort of way. What he does know is that he's sleepy and that he might just pass out any second now.

Seemingly reading his mind, Mark continues to play with the soft honey brown curls on Donghyuck's head. "Sleepy?" He asks, feeling his own eyelids start to droop under the weight of tiredness.

Donghyuck hums, the sound low and barely there, and it's clear he's already half way to dreamland. Mark huffs a fond laugh to himself, whispering a soft "good night," before letting sleep take over him completely—his mind and body melting together with Donghyuck, limbs tangled together lazily under the covers.

。。°。°。°。°。°

A stripe of morning light filters through the crack of Donghyuck's curtains, poking at him until he stirs awake with a small groan, attempting to shift away from the source of his discomfort. He turns but pauses, feeling a warm weight around his waist which holds him down to the mattress in a way that doesn't feel forceful, but instead rather comforting.

With a bit of effort, he manages to turn around fully, nose rubbing against Mark's, his soft, even breaths tickling his lips. Donghyuck's eyes wander, realizing he's never seen Mark this close and unguarded. Gently, he trails a finger over the the arch of his eyebrow, down the bridge of his nose, and on the very subtle and lightly rough stubble forming above his upper lip.

Mark's mouth twitches, and soon enough, his eyes crack open with slow blinks while he adjusts to the light.

He doesn't say anything at first—just stares at Donghyuck like how he stares at him, eyes all soft and, if they could be, full of stars and love and everything pretty because that is how he feels now that he gets the chance to wake up like this—Donghyuck in his arms, blinking up at him with those beautiful doe-like eyes.

Mark has never been fond of the color brown. A lot of the times it's a little muddy and, in his opinion, doesn't pair well with a lot of other colors, given the fact that he finds only one shade to be even remotely pretty. Donghyuck's eyes aren't of that specific shade, but they're certainly the most gorgeous pair of eyes he has ever looked into—all round and cute and inviting.

"What are you doing?" Is the first thing he says, paired with a small laugh when Donghyuck continues to run his fingers through the barely-there stubble on his chin and above his lip. Mark's hand comes up, fingers wrapping around Donghyuck's wrist to stop his curious touches. "Stop that," he says with another huffed, slightly rough laugh. "It tickles."

A warm smile spreads on Donghyuck's pink lips, his entire expression nearly melting Mark into a sappy, goopy puddle. "It feels nice," he murmurs, his fingers continuing to gently scratch at Mark’s chin like he's petting some sort of cat, despite Mark's protests.

"Nice?" He echoes, deciding to just let Donghyuck touch his face because there's definitely no way he can stop him now. "It's scratchy."

"But you look handsome," Donghyuck admits in a small, almost shy voice. Mark's brain buffers. He knows for a fact he has look crusty—it's expected after he had such a nice night of sleep.

"Oh, don't give me that look," Donghyuck says when Mark doesn't respond and just stares like he said something completely out of line.

Mark sighs, both content and slightly amused. He tucks Donghyuck's head under his chin to stop him from continuing to scratch him like he's some kind of house pet, and also to just hold him close, even if that's what he's been doing all night.

A while later and Donghyuck is off to the bathroom to do his morning routine, leaving Mark all alone on the bed. He feels at peace laying back on the bed all spread out while staring up at the ceiling.

And then he doesn't.

There's just one little thing that's been bugging him since Donghyuck got back to Chicago.

That being his life while they were separated.

He knows that Donghyuck technically doesn't owe him an explanation—he already apologized for leaving so suddenly in the first place. But part of him can't help but be curious.

Did Donghyuck think of him while he was gone? Or did he just move on?

It's something Mark has thought about a lot, especially since that day at his parents house. There's no way Donghyuck just… suddenly fell in love with him right as he got back from Korea. Were there lingering feelings from back in high school? Or did he really just fall for Mark out of nowhere?

The floor creaks softly under Donghyuck's weight as he steps back into the bedroom, bangs slightly damp from when he was washing his face. He glances over at Mark, then makes his way to his side, the mattress sinking slightly as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

"What are you thinking about?"

Mark considers asking Donghyuck everything that's been weighing down on him, but he hesitates, afraid he might scare Donghyuck off or something. His hesitation is evident in his face, his lips forming a small frown without him even realizing it's there until Donghyuck points it out.

"What's wrong?" He asks, tone quieter than before. He looks both curious and worried, brows slightly furrowed as he tries to figure Mark out.

"Nothing is wrong," Mark mumbles, eyes finally meeting Donghyuck's.

"Something is wrong," Donghyuck insists, grabbing Mark's arm and forcing him to sit up. "Or at least something is bothering you." He takes Mark's hand between both of his, his skin soft and warm and comforting.

"You can tell me." He pauses, cheeks flushing just slightly. "I'm your boyfriend now."

Mark swallows. Donghyuck's gaze has always been a little intense for him—making his heart flutter and his knees weak—but this time, it's the kind of intensity that makes it impossible for him to lie—though he isn't really ever able to lie to Donghyuck anyway.

"I was just curious," he starts, fidgeting around with a hangnail on his free hand until Donghyuck takes that one too, squishing both of Mark's hands between his own.

"About?"

Mark's heart skips, nerves washing over him. It's now or never—or he might just keep his questions to himself for the rest of eternity and wonder about Donghyuck's life in Korea even after death.

"Did you… ever think of me?" He breathes, looking away, unable to maintain eye contact any longer. "When you were in Korea." He adds, voice small and shy and completely unrecognizable, even for him.

"I did," Donghyuck replies honestly, then clears his throat softly. "A lot. I don't think there was a day where I didn't think of you."

Mark bites the inside of his cheek. If Donghyuck thought of him so much, why didn't he bother reaching out? He suppresses that thought. Mark could've tried to find him on Instagram or something. But instead he tried to move on. Donghyuck isn't really to blame here.

It's as if Donghyuck read Mark’s mind, voice lowering to something that sounds almost a bit ashamed.

"I did find you on social media," he admits, eyes dropping to their connected hands. He traces a vein that stretches across the backside of Mark's hand, his touch feather light as he uses the feeling to ground himself. "I think it was four years ago. I found your Instagram one night after having a little too much to drink at some party."

"I went to DM you, but then I chickened out," he continues with a stale, sad excuse of a laugh. "I thought… I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore."

Mark's heart drops, and suddenly he feels even more guilty for everything. For getting upset and even mad back then whenever Donghyuck first left. For trying to move on from him. For not trying to look for him. For ever assuming that Donghyuck would be heartless enough to just throw their years of friendship away without as much as a second glance.

He frees his hands from between Donghyuck's and pulls him into an awkward hug. Feeling the stiffness of his body, he adjusts them, Donghyuck comfortably on his lap as Mark wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him close.

"I'm sorry," he says into the soft fabric of Donghyuck's shirt. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" He asks, voice dipping into that low, shaky tone that Mark immediately recognizes as Donghyuck holding tears back. "I'm the one who left. Why are you apologizing?"

"I feel guilty."

Donghyuck swallows. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Mark gives a watery laugh. "I did. I tried to move on from you. I was so desperate to move on."

"But you didn't," Donghyuck counters, his little smile slowly creeping back onto his lips. "So it's okay."

"It's not," Mark insists. "I could've looked for you—"

Donghyuck cuts him off, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of Mark's mouth. "It's okay," he repeats. "I said it's okay, so that's that." He pinches Mark's cheek, watching it redden under his touch until Mark makes a small noise from deep within his throat. "Stop beating yourself up for things that you can't change."

Mark blinks, chest feeling lighter than it has in years. "You're literally doing that too."

"I'm allowed to." Another small kiss is pressed to the corner of Mark's mouth. "You're not."

He pouts slightly. "That's not fair."

"Yes it is." Donghyuck smile finally reaches his eyes. "I know how to control myself. You'll just spiral until you either shut down completely or let it eat you up whole."

Mark sighs, giving in. He knows Donghyuck is right. But something they have in common is stubbornness, so he won't be letting this go until the both of them are completely unraveled and guilt-free.

Donghyuck hums in approval of Mark’s compliance. He runs his thumb a little over Mark's top lip, feeling the small bit of stubble again.

"Now let me kiss you," he mumbles. "Before you shave this off."

"My teeth aren't brushed yet—"

"I don't care," Donghyuck whispers, already leaning in and capturing Mark's lips in a slow kiss, his fingers tracing the line of his jaw.

Mark's fingers carefully dig into Donghyuck's sides through his shirt, both to hold him in place and to make sure that this is truly his real life now.

If he were to tell his little eighteen-year-old self that the same Donghyuck who left so abruptly is now currently on his lap, kissing him lazily and without a rush in the world, he wouldn't believe Mark. Mark can barely believe it's true himself. There's one thing Mark does know for a fact, though. And that is that he doesn't regret letting that little part of him that still believed Donghyuck would return live, because if he didn't and managed to move on, then he doesn't think he'd be here now with Donghyuck in his arms, completely his.