Chapter Text
It was around 6:43 on a crisp autumn day, the kind where the leaves crunched underfoot. Luther and his two catmen left the house to restock on some necessities, leaving you, Sebastian, and Randal behind.
For the third day in a row, you three found yourselves watching some cheesy anime show, what humans might call “Netflix and Chill.” A pretty trivial activity, or so you remembered.
You weren’t even sure how you ended up in the Ivory household. It all just sort of happened, and for whatever reason, you didn’t care enough to question it, and neither did they— who just let you stay. You even had your own room of sorts. It had been a year now, and you’d gotten used to it. Sebastian had been here longer, but it was clear he hadn’t.
“I really like her! Best ass in the show, kukuku!” Randal paused the screen and pointed at a random character. The character’s hair, eyes, and skin looked suspiciously like yours.
“T… that’s a cartoon, Randal,” Sebastian muttered.
“It’s NOT a cartoon, dear Sebastian. It’s an ANIME!” Randal shouted, his voice booming in Sebastian’s ear, causing the poor pet to flinch and slump to the other side of the couch. Randal, sandwiched between you two, may not have been the best seating arrangement.
“He’s not wrong, sir,” you said, pointing at the 2D girl on the screen.
“I mean… how do you even… like a fake character like that?” Sebastian’s voice was soft, almost to himself.
Randal’s trademark wicked grin spread across his face, like a more ginger, slightly twisted version of the Cheshire Cat.
“I have my reasons and methods, my sweet, sweet (Y/N). Common normies like you could never understand!” He said, completely ignoring Sebastian.
You and Sebastian exchanged a look of confused disbelief. Randal didn’t resume the show, and a cold, awkward silence descended as everyone waited for someone to speak.
“I mean… she has no clear… present assets,” Sebastian finally said, quieter than usual, and almost to himself. It was the most forward you’d ever heard him.
“Because it’s not hentai we’re watching, Sebastian! My willy can still get all silly from the imagination!”
You winced. That was… a statement you could’ve gone without hearing, but you couldn’t help but respond.
“You guys are weird. I think I’m a pretty organic gal who needs her stuff right in front of her to really feel it.”
Definitely a conversation best had without Luther in the house.
“I… used to have magazines back home…” Sebastian trailed off, but Randal immediately cut him off with a loud ‘tsk’.
“Well, speaking of ‘organic’, girl, I could just have you.”
Another beat of silence followed as you gave Randal a flat, unamused look, your eyes half-lidded and your lips pursed in dissatisfaction.
“…Really?”
Sebastian looked like he wanted to leave more than ever.
Randal’s smirk never faltered as he closed his eyes and swung his arms behind his head— all too pleased with himself.
“Yesss, uh! You look exactly like Sakura-chan, (Y/N)! If I ever need her physically, I can just go to you, my dear doll! Ku, ku!”
''... Can you honestly get any weirder?'' You replied nonchalantly, as you subconsciously melted into the couch.
''Admit it, (Y/N), you wanna serve your awesome friend. Who is so awesome, in fact, he'll even allow his pet to come with!'' He vaguely gestured at Sebastian, pulling a paper crown out of nowhere and placing it on his own head, his gesture mimicking a worthy king- or in his case, prince, holding a cane.
''What?!'' Sebastian blurted out involuntary, clearly louder than he may have intended, while you just sat there with the same, bewildered yet ''okay, I guess, I am not surprised.'' expression.
''Very clear, verification if (Y/N)'s ass is as great as Sakura-chan's. Time..''
He glanced at the clock on the wall for a second before turning back with his composed expression and pose. ''6:56, date..'' Another unsure pause. ''Today.''
It didn't take long for the two to analyze you taking off your dress. You wore the same damn white frilly thing all around the place. All the time. It was somewhat.. odd to take it off for once. Underneath you had just your panties and a bra. That Sebastian and Randal seemed to admire.. deeply.
Like, woah, even Sebastian was ogling. You didn't even know that dude had a penis.
''See? It's getting good, kuku!!''
You rolled your eyes, but the corner of your mouth twitched .. whether from amusement or embarrassment, you weren’t sure. Randal was leaning forward like a manic art critic, one finger tapping against his chin as if he were analyzing the damn Mona Lisa instead of your half-dressed self.
Sebastian, on the other hand, looked like a cat caught in headlights. He wasn’t even blinking.
“Okay, Randal,” you finally said, arms crossing under your chest. “That’s enough. Evaluation’s over. You’re not the damn king of hornyland.”
“Correction!” Randal chirped, springing up from the floor with all the grace of a caffeinated raccoon. “I am the king, and this kingdom runs on curiosity and cultural appreciation! This is research!”
“Research my ass.”
“Exactly!!” He pointed at you triumphantly, as if you’d just proven his thesis.
You gave Sebastian a weak glance, hoping that he'd somehow catch your hint and push Randal to give it up by coming up with something even more stupid to stimulate his chicken brain.
He shared eye contact for a minute, before looking at Randal.
''Randal.. I believe the examination will be more thorough and precise.. if the subject undresses completely.''
''Ahhh. Very well, my faithful pet, then be it!''