Chapter Text
“Portland could be cool.”
It’s a soft mumble around midnight, when she and Tobin are hunched over bowls of cereal — Frosted Flakes and Cinnamon Toast Crunch respectively. Tobin scrunches her nose.
“Portland?”
Alex mindlessly clinks her spoon against the glass bowl. Then she remembers the sleeping Kelley on the couch, and she halts her movement. “Yeah. I don’t know. I was just thinking about it. With the allocation coming up and stuff.”
As with most things, Tobin takes her time carefully mulling it over. “So you want to stay out West, huh?” a playful smile finds her lips, and Alex shoots her one in return.
“Sorta,” she says honestly, not particularly drawn in by the cities that deal with temperatures below 50 degrees in the wintertime. “How about you? Any ideas?”
Tobin swirls her spoon through her milk, irritating the residue of cinnamon still lingering in the bowl. “I mean, Jersey’s always a safe fallback,” she murmurs, and Alex tells herself she doesn’t feel her heart begin to sink at the prospect of living across the country from her best friend. “But the more I think about it, the more I think that might not be what I want.” Her gaze is focused on the wood of the dining table, but Alex’s gaze is focused on her.
“So...are you saying...”
“I’m saying….maybe you’re not wrong,” Tobin interjects softly. She rises from the table and lightly knocks Alex’s shoulder before setting her cereal bowl in the sink. “About Portland.”
+
Alex isn’t a morning person.
Her two roommates, unfortunately, are. So at sunrise the next morning, she finds herself grumpily punching in the code to close their garage door as Kelley and Tobin lead the way to Manhattan Beach on their bikes.
Her mind is still foggy when they’ve ridden two blocks, yearning for the warmth of her pillow when Tobin looks back at her with a goofy grin. “You good, Al?”
“What?” Alex calls out, despite having heard her loud and clear. “I’m fine.”
“Lighten up, Sleepyhead,” Kelly taunts, the pace of her pedaling quickening. “I knew I should’ve doused you in water to wake you up. Tobs wouldn’t let me.”
“You’re funny,” Alex deadpans, the bags under her eyes feeling heavier and heavier with each house they pass. A stifled laugh attempts to leave Tobin’s throat.
“Don’t worry, Kell, I got this,” she says. She shoots Alex another quick look before her eyes set on the road in front of her. “First one to the beach doesn’t have to do dishwasher after dinner.”
+
(Alex doesn’t have to do dishwasher after dinner.)
+
“This is something I’ll miss,” Kelley muses as the three of them silently admire the way the sun bleeds against the horizon, the warm colors a sharp contrast from the dark ocean beneath it. “The sunrise, I mean,” she adds for good measure. “Not you two.”
Alex leans into Tobin’s side with enough weight that Tobin’s body begins to tip over, therefore lightly knocking Kelley down into the sand.
“You’re assholes.”
The reminder that the three of them could very well get separated in just less than a couple months; Alex doesn’t like it. Her curiosity gets the best of her. “Where do you wanna go, Kell?”
Kelley shrugs. “Wherever they want me.”
Alex nods her head to keep herself from flickering her eyes to Tobin, who’s mindlessly drawing patterns in the sand beneath her with her finger.
Alex wishes the decision was that easy for herself, too.
+
“You wanna take me? ”
Alex barely looks up from the take-out Chinese food they ordered for lunch because — I can try and make some pasta again — Alex, you’re a really good friend and everything, but frankly, you suck at the whole domesticity thing — Kell, don’t be mean …… I’m gonna call Manchu Wok just in case. I think they’re open at 11. “Yeah, of course.” She shrugs, balancing her chop sticks in between her fingers. “I could use some company, and Kelley’s gonna be in Georgia so there won’t be any hard feelings.”
Tobin contemplates deeply. “Oh, well, yeah. Sure, Al.”
Alex shoots her a thin smile. “You seem surprised.”
“A little,” Tobin admits, pinching the styrofoam box between her thumb and pointer finger. “I mean, you’re Alex Morgan, you know?” she locks Alex’s gaze with bright, brown eyes. “You’re everyone’s superstar. You’re cool.” Her grin falters slightly. “I’m just — I’m just Tobin.” Her voice is heavy, but she plays it off with a laugh. “I don’t know.”
Alex suppresses a frown, slightly hurt that she would perceive that as a bad thing. “Well, I like Tobin,” she says casually. “A lot,” she adds. “Even if she’s Team Jacob.”
Tobin smiles, throwing in an eye roll for good measure. “Well, then I’d be honored.”
+
They head back to the beach after lunch.
This time, in the SUV with Kelley and Tobin’s surfboards packed into the trunk, along with one of their old ones Tobin brings for Alex — just in case you change your mind about not wanting to go further than waist-deep water.
Alex can count on her fingers how many times she’s ever changed her mind about that — zero, if she’s being specific.
But the thought is so considerate, so Tobin, that she allows it. Every time.
And every time, when they unload the car and Tobin’s juggling two surfboards under both of her arms, Alex quickly offers to help, only to be brushed off with a Don’t worry Al, I got it from Tobin and a Chivalry isn’t dead from Kelley.
They go about their usual routine; Alex tanning on a long beach towel while Kelley and Tobin race to the ocean to see who can conquer the biggest wave. Or in their words — the most gnarly.
Every few rounds or so, Alex will peek out into the horizon to find Kelley taunting Tobin until Tobin manages to knock Kelley off of her board. She shakes her head and lowers her gaze to the sand, as if it’ll hide the endeared smile on her lips.
They’re idiots. Really, really big idiots. But Alex figures that’s what she loves most about them.
After a while, her eyelids start to feel heavy behind her sunglasses, and she begins to doze off until saltwater is splashed all over her legs. “Hey.”
“Al, who nailed that last wave better?” Kelley bends down in front of her face, water from the tips of her hair dripping onto Alex’s sunglasses.
Alex groans before pushing Kelley away with one of her hands. “I fell asleep,” she slides her sunglasses above her head and slings a lazy arm over her eyes to block out the harsh waves of the sun. “And even if I saw, I wouldn’t be dumb enough to actually tell you.”
“She just gave it to me,” Kelley ignores her completely, and Alex doesn’t have to open her eyes to know Tobin’s shaking her head with a knowing grin. “You owe me an ice cream cone.”
“No, I don’t!” Tobin attempts to sound serious, but anyone in nearby vicinity can hear the laugh in her voice. “I told you I forgot my wallet back at the house.”
Alex finally lowers her arm and finds herself face-to-face with Tobin’s tan, long legs. “Ok, a few things I feel like shouldn’t have to be said, but I’m saying them anyway.” She oversells her struggle as she props herself up on her elbows. “One; Kell, a wager is only valid if the other person agrees. It can’t be onesided.” — I didn’t know there was a rulebook — “Two; Tobin, your wallet has been in the center compartment of the car for the last two weeks.” — Oh. — “Three; I’m reclaiming my title as best roommate because I’m taking your butts to the ice cream truck on the pier.” — Yo, sick.
+
Of course, they make it a competition.
“It’s not fair,” Tobin mumbles lowly as Kelley gloats her victory in front of their faces. “I’m really prone to brain freezes.”
+
Alex is the first one out of the shower when they get back.
She uses the secured privacy to drop herself down onto the couch and boot up her laptop, staring blankly at her search engine before slowly typing in apartments in Portland.
She sees a few reasonable ones she really likes — all located downtown, but a short drive away from the beach. And no, she doesn’t like them just because she knows a certain, ocean-loving friend of hers would like them, too.
She likes them because they look like they’d make a good home. For her. For them.
Alex doesn’t realize how many tabs she’s opened until Tobin casually strolls into the room with wet hair, plopping onto the couch before Alex has the time to close them all out. “What’s up, Al?”
“Nothin’,” Alex quickly minimizes the browser page, her finger ghosting over the trackpad once she’s looking at her home screen; a team picture taken in the locker room after the gold medal match in London.
“I really like that one,” Tobin sighs as she nestles into Alex’s side, the smell of her fresh shampoo wafting through the air. “Everyone’s so happy.”
“Yeah,” a smile automatically graces Alex’s lips. “That was a good day.”
There’s a few beats of silence between them afterwards, and Tobin’s uncharacteristically the one to break it. “So Portland, huh?”
A light shade of red flowers Alex’s cheeks. “Um — “
“Sorry,” Tobin adds quickly, her voice getting tight as though she’s overstepped her boundaries despite only saying three words. “I wasn’t snooping, I swear, I would never — “
“Tobs,” Alex breathes out a smooth laugh, “You’re fine.”
Tobin’s nerves shift to embarrassment, and she presses her forehead against Alex’s shoulder. “I’m an idiot.”
“No, you’re not.” Alex murmurs into the crown of Tobin’s hair, then she pulls the tabs back up. “You’re just curious.”
Tobin curls deeper into Alex’s side and cocks her head to study the screen. “Seems like you got your mind set.”
Alex shrugs. “Not yet.” She swallows deeply. “You know last night, when I brought up Portland, I — I don’t want you to think I’m trying to persuade you one way or another. Choosing a team and stuff. Only ‘cause it wouldn’t be fair.”
Tobin links Alex’s arm between both of hers and tiredly hides her face in the crook of Alex’s neck. “Mm, I know, Al,” she mumbles. “But if I’m being honest, I think I’d miss you too much if we were apart.”
That last part is laced with shyness to the point it’s almost inaudible, but Alex can clearly make out every single syllable. “Yeah. I’d miss you too much, too.”
Tobin takes a look at the screen again and points to a small, two bedroom apartment Alex had marked. “I like this one. Close to the beach.”
Tobin’s in such close proximity her eyelashes tickle Alex’s skin whenever she blinks.
The bigger flutter, however, stems from Alex’s heart.
Because it — almost — looks like Portland has a fighting chance at being her and Tobin’s next home.
+
They help Kelley pack.
“This is my shirt,” Tobin frowns as she plucks a faded, blue UNC shirt from one of Kelley’s drawer.
“Oh, yeah, I stole that when you bet against Stanford during that one football game because it pissed me off,” Kelley says casually.
“Petty,” Tobin mutters, then she tucks one end of the shirt into the back pocket of her denim shorts.
“We’ll miss you,” Alex continues folding the clothes Tobin and Kelley blindly toss into the suitcase.
“Don’t worry kids, it’s only for a couple weeks, Mom will be back soon,” Kelley quips. Then her voice softens. Just a little. “I’ll miss you, too. Only around a couple months left together when I get back.”
Alex almost tells her she’s acting like she’ll be moving across the country. She bites her words back realizing that may just be the case. “Don’t say that,” she murmurs lowly. “That makes me sad.”
“C’mon, Al. Just because I don’t get to annoy you 24/7 doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying.” And the comedian is back, this time prompting an entertained laugh out of Tobin.
“Promise you won’t ever get cooler roommates than us,” the midfielder requests, worn out from attempting to help pack when she curls into Kelley’s bed.
Kelley shoots her a funny look. “Not a chance in hell.”
+
It’s quiet when she leaves the next morning.
Tobin props herself onto one of the kitchen counters and hides a laugh behind the sleeve of her hoodie when Alex attempts to make them some pancakes.
“These look amazing, Al. Good job.”
+
“...........”
“...........”
“Uncle Bill’s Pancake House?”
“I’ll get the keys.”
+
“Chen’s gonna request Kansas City.”
Tobin’s hunched over her phone on their way home from breakfast, and Alex taps her thumb against the steering wheel of the car. “Really?”
Tobin nods. “Close to home, I guess.”
Alex flicks on her turn signal, and the air is coated in silence as they wait for the light to turn green.
“Oh — I listened to this song for the first time in forever yesterday.” Tobin punches a key on the center console to switch the car’s audio to Bluetooth.
Alex smiles, because she likes this. She likes this thing they do — find a song they like, play it for the other, add it to one of their many collaborative Spotify playlists.
Right now they’re working on one Tobin decided to title the feeeels yo .
Tobin clicks her tongue as she scrolls through her music, a tendency Alex has noticed only surfaces when she’s about to play a song she’s afraid Alex might not like.
Home by Phillip Phillips hums through the speakers seconds later, and Alex’s heart beats hard against her ribcage.
If there’s one thing she’s learned about Tobin, it’s that when she doesn’t know how to put what she’s feeling into her own tangible words, she attempts to subtly express it through her music.
“Just know you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home.”
+
“You were right.”
Alex is falling asleep to a Barcelona game when Tobin emerges from the kitchen and takes a seat next to her on the couch. “Huh?”
“You were right,” Tobin repeats. “Portland could be cool.”
+
They stay up late apartment hunting.
They keep half of the ones Alex found the previous day, plus a few more on the reasonable side.
“This is ridiculous,” Tobin grins into Alex’s shoulder. “I know there’s no way of being sure we’ll be allocated together, but — I like this, Al. Building a home with you.”
Warmth pricks at Alex’s veins. “Yeah. Me too.”
+
Tobin stalks out of her room later than usual the next morning, a blank look on her face as she grabs the box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and pours herself a bowl next to Alex at the kitchen countertop.
“Morning, Tobs.”
Tobin utters a response after a half-beat long pause.
She’s out of it.
Tobin’s never out of it during the morning. She lives for the early hours of the day.
Alex drops it.
+
“I don’t have anything to wear.” Tobin’s voice is defeat tinged with embarrassment after lunch. “For the premiere tomorrow. I left all my nice clothes at Perry’s apartment in Brooklyn.”
Alex’s gaze lifts from her laptop, her lips contorting into an amused smile. “You wanna go shopping?”
Tobin purses her lips. A hard pass.
“I’ll have something you can borrow, I promise,” Alex reassures. “All of my clothes look better on you anyway.”
“Shut up, Al,” Tobin says playfully. “Thanks, but shut up.”
Alex laughs before sinking underneath her covers and patting the spot on the mattress next to her. “Snuggle with me.”
Tobin does.
“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Alex buries her face in Tobin’s hair. “I’m always, always, always gonna be here.”
Tobin remains silent. Then, finally, “Yeah. For sure.”
There’s a catch in her voice, as if she wants to say something else.
She doesn’t.
+
Alex drives them to their favorite restaurant near Manhattan Beach for dinner, home of the sickest burgers ever — Tobin’s words.
The hostess recognizes them from previous visits and goes to grab three menus, halting her movements when she realizes Tobin and Alex’s usual third party is missing. “Date night, huh?”
Tobin bites down on her bottom lip to reduce the grin twitching onto her lips. But she doesn’t deny it.
Neither does Alex.
+
“Alex?”
“Mm, yeah?” Alex wipes the grease off her hands with her napkins. “Are you finishing your fries?”
“Huh? Oh — no, go ahead.”
“Cool.” Alex reaches over the table and swipes two before dipping them in ketchup and stuffing them into her mouth. She notices how Tobin falls silent, her lips thinning. “You were gonna say something?”
“Oh, yeah, right,” Tobin feigns realization. Alex almost frowns. She hates that. When Tobin thinks something she has to say is so insignificant that she deems it as not worth saying at all. “It’s kind of random, but — I just — I wanted to tell you that I like this.” She’s vague, and her leg bounces under the table. “I like what we have between us, whatever it is, and — and I like sharing these moments with you.”
Alex smiles sweetly. “Hey, Tobs.”
Tobin looks at her closely with big, brown eyes.
“I like it, too. All of it.”
+
It’s 12:32 in the morning when the door to Alex’s bedroom door creaks open.
“Al? You up?” Tobin asks, a nervous air to her voice.
Alex sighs against her pillow. “Yeah, what’s up?” When Tobin doesn’t respond right away, “C’mere.”
Her feet shuffle against the floor, then the mattress of Alex’s bed dips down with her weight.
Then, her arm’s around Alex’s waist, and her head is nuzzled in her neck. “I have to tell you something. But, like, don’t be mad, ok?”
Alex frowns. “Ok.”
“Um,” Tobin fiddles with the hem of Alex’s shirt. “I got — I got a call this morning from Paris Saint Germain.”
…… “Oh.”
“They made me an offer.”
Another beat of silence. “Tobin — Tobin that’s amazing. That’s so incredibly amazing. Are you taking it up?”
Tobin shakes her head promptly. “No. I don’t know. I’m still thinking. I’d be gone for six months.”
“I’m so proud of you,” Alex says honestly, while the thought of having to be without her person for six whole months causes her heart to sink. “Why would you think I’d be mad?”
“Because — because we’ve been talking about Portland so much these past couple days, and I just — I don’t want you to feel like that’s something I’m flaking on. Building a home with you — it’s what I wanna do. But, like, this opportunity. You know?” Tobin’s rambling, and that’s when Alex knows she has to smooth things over before they get worse.
“Tobs, I could never be mad at you. You know that,” she whispers. “If this is what you’re supposed to do, then this is what you’re supposed to do.” The hairs on her arm prick as she feels Tobin’s breath on her neck. “Me and Portland — we’re not going anywhere. We’ll wait for you.”
Tobin smiles. “You and Portland. I like that. I like that a lot.”
+
Breakfast is comfortably quiet the next morning, save for Tobin’s loud, crunchy chewing.
Alex tells her she scheduled hair and makeup for both of them at 5:30, and Tobin mumbles a quick response, the edges of her lips dipping down into a pout when cereal milk begins to dribble down her chin.
Alex giggles at the sight, stifling it quickly when Tobin glances at her with defeated eyes. “It’s not funny, Lex.”
“I never said it was!” Alex claims, all while an entertained smile sits on her face. “C’mon, what’s wrong? It’s not a big deal, it didn’t even drip onto the table or anything.”
“It’s not that, ” Tobin takes her crumpled up napkin to wipe at her mouth. “Look at me, dude. How am I supposed to go with Alex Morgan to a movie premiere if it’s so easy for me to look like an idiot?”
“Hey, never call yourself that,” Alex reprimands softly. “And stop bringing yourself down like this.” She adds quietly, “I don’t like it.”
Tobin has this look on her face; like she doesn’t believe her, and she wants to expand on why.
She settles for going back to her cereal.
+
Tobin throws on one of Alex’s maxi dresses, her hair still in a tangled bun before they get their hair done.
Alex grins in approval.
“Look ok?” Tobin stands there awkwardly, shifting on her feet.
Alex nods. “Really pretty, Tobs. Really pretty.”
Tobin playfully rolls her eyes in typical Tobin-fashion. “Shut up, Al,” she says as she stalks out of the room.
Also typical Tobin-fashion.
+
The limo ride is quiet.
Tobin’s gaze out the window is intent and concentrated, as if she doesn’t drive by these same roads whenever she, Alex, and Kelley decide to go out.
Alex wraps her fingers more securely around the clutch in her lap. “Tobin,” she whispers, and Tobin whips her head around, the tips of her curls grazing Alex’s face. “You’re good?”
Tobin shrugs, as if nothing’s wrong. “Yeah. Duh.”
Alex reaches over the middle seat to hold her hand anyway.
Tobin’s grip is urgent and tight.
+
“Alex! Alex, over here! Alex!”
Tobin’s eyes flicker. They flicker everywhere, because she doesn’t know what to do.
“I’m just gonna take some pictures,” Alex tugs lightly on her dress to pull her aside, and Tobin nods. “It’ll be super quick.” Tobin nods again.
“You look really nice, Al,” Tobin smiles shyly. “Go get ‘em.”
Alex shoots her a grateful look. “Hey, Tobs.”
“Mm?”
“I’m really happy. To have you.” She pauses quickly. “You know — here. To have you here. With me.”
Tobin’s eyes are warm; they calm for the first time that night. “I’m really happy, too. Now go,” she coaxes. “Show them how pretty you are.”
+
They get separated.
Alex is doing a quick interview with — E! she thinks? Or is it People? — when she realizes Tobin isn’t following a few feet behind her like she has been.
Her eyebrows draw together, and she goes looking, ignoring the voices of reporters and photographers fighting for her attention.
She finds her by the official movie poster, looking up at it curiously.
“Hey,” Alex quickly fishes her phone out of her clutch and nudges the arm of her agent. “Take a quick picture of me and Tobs?”
“Alex, we have to get moving — “
“One picture,” Alex urges. “C’mon.” She stands in front of Edward, and Tobin smirks before standing in front of Jacob.
Alex loves the picture so much she walks by more photographers to set it as her wallpaper.
+
“You’re good?”
The pads of Alex’s fingers press softly into Tobin’s waist as they make their way into the theater.
Tobin ever so subtly leans into her touch, her muscles relaxing. “Yeah. I’m good.”
+
It’s nearly 2 in the morning when Alex finally slides underneath the safety of her covers.
Tobin emerges from the bathroom minutes later, her curls tied back into a non-committal bun as she wordlessly wraps herself in Alex’s arms.
Alex sleeps well. Really, really well.
+
They fall into a rhythm.
Wake up with tangled limbs and wrinkled sheets.
Bike to the beach and watch the sunrise.
Race back to the house to pour bowls of cereals to occupy them while they clear out the DVR in the family room by catching up on any Barcelona games — and occasionally an Arsenal game, Alex hates to add.
Go back to the beach. Watch Tobin as she becomes one with the waves.
Begrudgingly let Tobin convince Alex to sit on the extra board she lugged along in the car. You don’t have to surf, Al. But I love the ocean, and I love talking to you.
Talk. About Portland. About Paris. About everything.
Blast their favorite playlist — t & a. — so loudly on the way home with the windows rolled down that people strolling on the sidewalk stop to crane their necks.
Poke Tobin until she finally sings along to a song.
Pretend to admire Alex’s cooking until they give up and order take-out for dinner.
Call Kelley to tell her how much they miss her and to say hi to her family.
Convince themselves it’s normal when Tobin keeps her toothbrush and glasses in Alex’s bathroom every night — to save me a walk — before climbing into Alex’s bed as naturally as she would her own. Convince themselves best friends do that.
Fall asleep together, quickly and blissfully.
+
Alex has a lot of routines.
This one with Tobin is her favorite.
+
“5130 miles.”
They’re stuck at a stoplight on their way to the beach. Tobin’s flip flops are toed off, and her feet are propped on the dashboard. She clicks off her phone, and it falls onto her stomach. “What was that?”
“5130 miles. From Portland to Paris.”
Alex frowns as she releases her foot off the brake and presses softly onto the gas. “Doesn’t matter.” A lie. “I’d travel all those miles for you. Every single one.” Not a lie.
+
Tobin’s procrastinating packing for her weeklong trip back home for Thanksgiving.
Alex watches with entertainment as the older girl fiddles with the zippers of her suitcase, essentially doing everything and anything but open it up.
“Come have dinner with my family,” she suggests quickly. Tobin’s eyebrows lift.
“Huh?”
“My family. They’re driving over the night before you leave.”
“I don’t know, Al.”
“C’mon,” Alex tucks herself into Tobin’s side, and they lay there on the floor together. “They love you. You know they do.”
And Tobin does what she normally does whenever they find themselves in this position; smiles into the crown of Alex’s hair. “Ok. I will.”
+
Alex tries to cook.
“Tobs, can you taste this for me?” she forks a piece of her attempt at a grilled chicken breast and feeds it into Tobin’s mouth. Tobin chews thoughtfully from her usual seat on the kitchen counter.
“Mmm. It’s uh — it’s some of your best work, Al.”
“Tobin, you know I love how nice you are, but I’m gonna need the truth on this one.”
“Maybe ask your parents if they can pick something up on the way.”
+
Alex hides her frown when Tobin gets sandwiched in between Jeri and her mom at the dinner table.
“Relax, Lex, you get her every day, just give us tonight,” Jeri teasingly ruffles her hair, and Alex swats her hand away before sliding into a seat next to her dad.
Jeri’s right, she figures. Because if things with Portland work themselves out, then she and Tobin will have all the time in the world to just be themselves. To just be Tobin and Alex.
+
Unless, of course, Tobin decides to go to Paris. The back of Alex’s mind refuses to let her forget that.
+
Their decision to settle in Portland together is announced while Alex is scooping her second serving of chicken.
“So Tobin, come the allocation, are we gonna see you back home in Jersey?” Mike inquires curiously.
Tobin’s gaze lifts from her plate, a tiny smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. “Actually, Alex and I are both gunning for Portland.”
“Portland,” Jen muses. “Sweet.”
Pam adds, “Well, that sounds great. You two would be a powerhouse.”
“Yeah, should be pretty cool.” Tobin shrugs easily before her eyes find Alex’s across the table. “A new home, for the both of us.”
+
Alex stalks into the kitchen with the rag she used to wipe down the table after dessert when she spots Jeri and Tobin playfully bantering for room in front of the sink.
Her heart swells.
+
She opens up her Twitter minutes after her family’s SUV pulls out of the driveway.
alexmorgan13: Amazing dinner with my amazing family... Welcome to the fam @TobinHeath #sofullcantmove
+
Tobin’s grin is swallowed into Alex’s shoulder as they plop into Alex’s bed together.
“It’s an honor, Al.”
+
“Have a safe flight. Call me when you land.” Alex helps Tobin with her duffle bag, which, in her opinion, is about 10 pounds too light for a 7 day trip. “And remember, you’re allowed to recline your seat, ok?” she smirks. “I know you hate thinking you might piss off the person behind you, but you won’t, I promise.”
Tobin lightly rolls her eyes. “Noted.”
“I’m serious. It’s a long flight, I want you to be comfortable.” Alex reaches out to adjust the snapback on Tobin’s head so it’s less lopsided.
Tobin takes a long time to adjust her duffle bag on her shoulder, despite the line of cabs accumulating behind her to drop off their riders. “I’ll miss you, Lex.”
“I’ll miss you, too.” Alex hides her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants. “I’ll keep your side of the bed warm.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Tobin says through a laugh.
Alex pulls her into a tight hug. “Tell everyone I say hi.”
“Will do.” Tobin rubs softly at her back before pulling away to look at her. “Only seven nights.”
“Yeah.” Alex shrugs with attempted nonchalance. “Only seven.”
“You can count ‘em on your fingers.”
“Thanks for the reminder, Tobs.”
“Sorry. I just thought it’d make time go by quicker.”
“And you’re right,” Alex sports an endeared smile, because of course Tobin would think of that. Her thoughtful Tobin, who tries so hard to find the light and goodness in any situation. “You are. Now go catch your flight, I don’t want you being rushed through the security line.”
“Right, right.” Tobin clears her throat. “See you, Lex.”
“See you. Remember, a call when you land.”
“I’ll remember, Mom, don’t worry.”
+
The house is quiet without her two best friends.
Alex wishes they were there so she had a dumb fight to break up over FIFA — wishes there were piles of cleats, flip flops, and sneakers to trip on not only by the front door but in select parts of the living room.
Plus, with the two of them gone, she’s stuck with dishwasher.
Alex hates dishwasher.
+
It’s the third morning without either of them when Alex drags herself to the beach to watch the sunrise.
It bleeds into the horizon, and it’s beautiful.
She takes a picture to prove it.
+
Kelley O’Hara, Tobin Heath
Today 6:41am
Miss you losers
Attachment: 1 image
Kelley O’Hara
Pretty. Not as pretty without me. But pretty ;)
Tobin Heath
dope as hell. So jealous
+
Alex spends all of 14 minutes after breakfast staring at Kelley’s and Tobin’s surfboards in the garage.
She could try it. Just one little wave.
No. Bad idea. Really bad idea.
+
An old one is thrown into the backseat before she heads back to the beach.
+
She doesn’t surf.
She takes the board out and sits on it comfortably, the same way she and Tobin did just the week before.
She hopes it’s something they’ll keep on doing, even when they’re in Portland.
+
Tobin’s face is blurry and nearly swallowed by her hoodie over Facetime.
“4 sleeps.” She holds up four, long fingers. “We’re down to counting on one hand, Al.”
Alex holds up four fingers in return, smitten. “4 sleeps,” she confirms.
+
She spends Thanksgiving at her parents’ house, tagging along with Jeri to help run grocery errands for their mom.
“I’ve missed this.” Jeri props her shades over her head when they reach a yellow light. “I’ve missed you.”
Alex smiles sadly, because this pause on her life — away from soccer, away from her friends — makes her realize how much she misses her family, too. “Me too, Jer.”
“Dinner last week, though. Made me realize you’re in good hands.”
Alex’s cheeks warm. “Yeah. I am.”
Jeri nods. “Oh, and Lex?”
“Hm?”
“Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Happy Thanksgiving, dork.”
+
Her phone lights up with a text message, just a few minutes before midnight, New Jersey time.
+
Tobin Heath
Today 8:54pm
Thankful for u, al. every day
+
The first night Tobin gets back, she slips into Alex’s bed again, as if they’ve never skipped a beat.
They giggle like little girls when they hear Kelley’s feet padding in front of the door, followed by a — If I hear you kissing or something, I’m dismantling Tobin’s bed and dragging the pieces out to the hall.
They don’t fall asleep right away.
They lay there for awhile, safe in each other’s arms.
+
“Al?”
“Yeah?”
“I like you the way other people like their girlfriends or boyfriends.”
+
“I like you like that, too.”
+
The first kiss isn’t hungry. It isn’t lustful, it isn’t sensual.
It’s simple. It’s soft. It’s quick.
It’s them.
+
“So...you two are, like, this thing now?” Kelley doesn’t bother to swallow the bite of her waffle before the words are uttered from her mouth.
Tobin sips loudly on her orange juice.
“Yup.” Alex says with a pop. Tobin grins into her glass.
Kelley nods in approval. “Sick.”
+
Tobin’s been on the phone in her room for nearly an hour when Kelley’s curiosity gets the best of her. “Trouble in paradise already?”
Alex nudges her leg roughly with her foot before snatching the remote from Kelley’s lap. “PSG.”
Kelley’s eyebrows shoot up quickly. She chooses not to press it too much. She doesn’t have to. “She decided?”
“Not yet.” Alex’s voice is small as she scans through channels.
In a rare moment of seriousness, “Al, I know you two literally just started dating, or whatever, but — in the chance she goes, you’re strong enough to get through it. Both of you. Hate to brag, but if anyone were to know that from firsthand experience, it’d be me.”
Alex finds solace in the words. Even the light humor of the last bit. She pauses her channel hunt. “Thanks, Kell.”
“Mhm.”
“You’re our rock, you know.”
“Oh, shucks, Ms. Lovebird.”
+
Tobin emerges from her room with an unreadable expression on her face.
Alex and Kelley eye her expectantly.
“Waves look sick today. You guys in?”
+
“They’re looking for an answer, like — relatively soon.” Tobin brings it up before Alex and Kelley can work up the nerve to ask. She digs her toes even deeper into the sand. “Before Christmas. Ideally.”
Kelley’s shoulders slump in Alex’s peripherals.
Alex knows why; the need for a decision — it makes it all feel more real.
And if she’s being honest, that really, really sucks.
+
“I don’t like thinking about an America without you in it.” The words tumble out sleepily, minutes after they decided to call it a night.
Tobin’s face hides in the curve of Alex’s neck with no intention of finding its way out. “I know.”
“But that doesn’t — that shouldn’t change things.” Alex’s hold on Tobin tightens, as if if it doesn’t, the midfielder will slip through her fingers. “Whatever you choose to do, I’m gonna be by your side. You know that, right?”
Tobin’s lips press ever so lightly onto Alex’s skin. “Yeah. I do.” She breathes softly. “That’s what makes this all easier.”
+
“It’s Christmas!”
“It’s December 1st, Kell.”
“Christmas.”
+
Tobin Heath
Today 12:01pm
Any requests on what tree u want us to get?
umm. a green one would be sweet
Noted.
+
The 3 of them decorate it together, Alex scrounging up old ornaments while Tobin and Kelley try not to chop off their own fingers making impromptu snowflakes.
Kelley’s taking a bathroom break when there’s a soft tap on the back of Alex’s shoulder.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Tobs.”
“Um.” Tobin brings a hand up to her face to wipe away the red of her cheeks. “This one’s for you.” She timidly extends her hand to hold out a small snowflake with a sloppy heart cut out of the middle.
A warm smile presses onto Alex’s lips. “Thank you.” She leans forward and brings Tobin in for a light kiss.
Tobin grins against her mouth, then a groan comes from the direction of the bathroom.
“Gross, moms.”
+
“Alex. Alex, wake up.”
Alex blinks awake groggily, her eyes searching for the time on the alarm clock. 2:52. “Tobin, go to sleep.”
“I can’t.”
Alex hums lowly before nuzzling into Tobin’s side. “Try.”
“I can’t.” Tobin repeats it simply. “I’m going to Paris, Al.”
5 words. 5 words to drain all the sleep from Alex’s eyes. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Tobin’s breath is short, and it shakes. “You don’t hate me, right?”
Alex’s chest starts to hurt. “Of course not.” Her forehead presses itself against Tobin’s temple. “Tobs, I’m never gonna hate you. So never think that. Ok?”
“Ok.”
The silence of the room thickens.
“Remember what I said. Portland and I — we’ll always be here for you.”
Tobin plays mindlessly with the tips of Alex’s hair. “I know, I know.” She breathes deeply. “I just miss you already.”
“We’ll be fine.” Alex answers the question she senses Tobin’s too nervous to ask. “Paris is far, but we’ll be fine. We will.”
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” Tobin says it more for herself than anything else, and Alex knows that. “You and me. You and me are gonna make it.”
+
She tells Kelley while the three of them juggle a ball the next morning, minutes after the sunrise.
“For real?” Kelley loses her eye on the ball, and it plops in the sand.
Tobin nods.
“I’m gonna miss you, bub.”
“I’ll miss you too, Kell.” Tobin’s smile is genuine, soft, and tinged with sadness.
“My number one surfing partner, always. No offense, Al.”
“None taken.”
+
“They’ll allocate me like everyone else.” Tobin reassures during lunch. “Portland’s still looking pretty good.”
Alex chews thoughtfully on her last crouton.
“So both coasts get to be repped by at least one member of the dream trio,” Kelley’s voice is light.
“Sky Blue is official?”
“Everything but.”
“Take care of my home for me.” Tobin flashes Kelley a grin from across the table, and Kelley musters a laugh in between bites of salad before tossing a napkin at her longtime friend.
And Alex — Alex thinks about how she’ll miss all of this. She’ll miss all the meals, all the dumb banters Tobin and Kelley manage to make out of nothing. She’ll miss getting annoyed when Kelley leaves Stanford sweatshirts littered around the living room, and she’ll miss reprimanding Tobin when her longboard takes up space in front of the shoe closet, which neither of her roommates ever bother to utilize because — I’m wearing these flip flops again tomorrow, Al — and — c’mon you know how stinky my cleats get when I keep them in there .
She’ll miss how they were never LA’s, but LA became theirs.
+
“What’s the plan for Christmas?” Alex lets Tobin slant her legs across her lap.
“I fly out to Jersey the morning of the 25th.” Tobin slides her fingers behind her glasses to rub tiredly at her eyes. “How ‘bout you? Your parents’ place?”
“Mhm.”
“Dope.”
“Yeah.” Alex fascinates herself with a loose thread on Tobin’s sweats. “Hey, um — I was, like, thinking about things and I was — I was wondering if you wanted to spend Christmas Eve together. Kell flies back home earlier in the week, but I don’t know. I thought it’d be cool. Just you and me.”
An eager smile grows on Tobin’s lips. “Yeah. Yeah, that’d be sweet, Al.”
+
“You’re getting a bracelet, dude, not an engagement ring. Just, like, chill a little.”
Alex ignores Kelley as she lowers her face to get a better look at the jewelry displayed in the enclosed glass case. “It’s not just a bracelet, Kell,” she frowns. “It’s the last thing I’m giving her before she gets on a plane to the other side of the country. I want it to be one she remembers.” She catches Kelley’s eyes soften through her reflection in the glass.
“Well, when you put it like that, it makes me sad,” she murmurs, dejection infused into her voice. “Not cool.”
+
Kelley gets Tobin a renewed subscription to her favorite surf magazine, and Tobin pulls her into the tightest hug Alex has ever seen when they’re dropping Kelley off at the airport. “Love you, dude.”
“Alright, alright, we don’t have to get sappy. I’m going to Georgia. It’s not Paris or anything.” It tumbles out of her mouth before she even thinks about it, and she eases up when she catches the slight falter of Tobin’s grin. “I love you, too, Tobington.” She pulls her into one more hug, then she does the same for Alex. “Make sure she doesn’t get too good at FIFA, alright?”
“Got it.”
“Also, please no fornicating in any common living area, I really — “
“Bye, Kell.”
“Bye losers.”
+
The house feels the same way it did the last time Kelley flew back home; quiet, emptier. The only difference is now there’s a Christmas tree in the living room with two tiny presents placed neatly underneath.
Tobin hops quickly into the shower, her flip flops strewn in a path behind her, and Alex decides to reprimand her for it later before making a beeline to the Nature Valley bars in the pantry.
The box is bulky, and her eyebrows frown. Alex’s hand pulls out a tiny mistletoe, a tag cordially attached.
Tobs hates Nature Valley bars and loves surprises. Ur welcome
-Kell
+
They get the confirmation on Portland while Alex is starting the car, and Tobin nearly stumbles and drops her board juggling her phone between her shoulder and her ear.
And suddenly, Alex’s torso is sticking out the open window of the car, and Tobin’s rolling on her tiptoes to engulf her in a kiss that says — We’ll be home.
+
“I leave the end of January. I know that only gives us about a month, but I can still help — with like, apartment listings, apartment shopping , I mean — whatever you need, Al. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it. Ok?”
The words come at 100 miles an hour, and Alex reaches over the center console to place a soft, relaxed hand on Tobin’s bouncing knee. All the love in the world infuses itself into her smile. “Ok.”
+
They spend 92% of the 23rd in bed, the other 8% belonging to taking turns making a trip to the kitchen for food.
“We missed the sunrise,” Tobin mumbles into her pillow, knocking her ankles against Alex’s. “Good thing you’re even prettier.” She’s grinning as she says it, then she’s grinning against Alex’s lips.
“I’d miss it every day for you,” Alex’s thumb brushes tenderly across one of Tobin’s cheekbones. “And not just because I’m not a morning person.”
Tobin laughs, her smile infectious. “Al, this is what I’m gonna miss.” Her fingers curl around the back of Alex’s shirt. “These moments that no one else gets to miss. Because they’re just for you and me.”
Alex’s next breath is harder to swallow. “ I’ll miss them.” Her fingers get lost in the tangles of Tobin’s hair, “And I’ll miss you, and your smile, and your eyes, and your damn tan.”
Tobin laughs at that last part.
“It’ll be a lot cooler over there. You might lose it.”
Tobin smiles at her warmly. “There are worse things to lose.”
+
Tobin’s hunched over the kitchen counter scanning a magazine, a Santa hat lopsided on her head as Alex fumbles a few feet behind with the mistletoe from Kelley.
Before she can piece together what she plans to do with it, Tobin’s neck is craned around, and her eyebrows are cocked. “What’s good?”
“Um,” Alex lamely looks down at her hands. “Well, uh — “
“That’s a mistletoe.”
“Yeah. Yeah, it is.”
A silence infiltrated with Tobin’s smugness fills the air between them. “You should hold it above your head, so we can kiss.” And this one time, Tobin’s the one that leads, balling a gentle fistful of Alex’s red and green plaid shirt and tugging her closer.
Alex licks at her bottom lip, then does as she’s told, holding it high above them before their lips find each other for the gazillionth time that week.
(Yes. Gazillionth.)
+
“I’ll go first.”
They sit cross-legged next to the tree, and Alex outstretches her arm to hand Tobin her present.
There’s a smitten smile on her face as she feels out the small box, shaking it teasingly. “Car keys?” she jokes, and Alex laughs.
“Open it, Tobs.”
Tobin does carefully, then her normally-defined jaw goes slack.
A silver bracelet, with a single charm — a seashell.
“To remember this. All of it,” Alex explains. “I don’t know if you’ll be able to bike to the beach every morning to see the sunrise, and I know this isn’t the same, but — it’s a start, I guess.”
“Yeah. Yeah, it is,” Tobin validates. “Can you put it on me?” she asks, and Alex scoots them closer together, her fingers gently hooking the latch around Tobin’s wrist. She takes Tobin’s hand and raises it to her lips. “Thank you. I love it.” Tobin rearranges their hands so she can have her turn kissing Alex’s. “Um, here.” She timidly gives Alex her present, a box around the same size as her own, but with a slightly messier wrapping job.
Alex takes her time opening it, marvelling at how light it is.
It slips out before she realizes it, and she has to fish between her legs to retrieve it.
It’s a plane ticket to Paris. Dated and paid for.
“I told you I’d miss you too much if we were apart,” Tobin mumbles. “This might make it a little easier. It was kinda hard, you know with the new league’s schedule still being made, or whatever. But — don’t worry, if that doesn’t work out — if it doesn’t work out, then I’ll pay for another one. I just — Paris, you know? City of love. Or at least, I think it is.” She shakes her head to regain her train of thought, and Alex bites down on the inside of her cheek to conceal a smile. “I guess I feel like you should be in the city of love with — with the person you love.”
She says it so quietly, Alex has to strain her ears to make sure she hears it right. “So you gave me this ticket.”
Tobin’s voice almost sounds like a laugh when, “Dude, I love you. I love you with everything I am, and everything you are, and everything this world is.”
“That’s a lot of love,” Alex says simply, and Tobin sucks in her bottom lip with a nod. “It’s a good thing I love you even more.” Her fingers splay over Tobin’s knees. Tobin looks at her with sparkling eyes.
“Always a competition with you, huh?”
+
Their first time isn’t one for the romance enthusiasts.
It’s during the end credits of Home Alone, TV muted so Alex can focus on Tobin’s breath, and the crease of her brow, and the pinkness of her lips.
It’s giggles and questions and clumsiness.
It’s love.
+
“I’ll be back New Year’s Eve morning.”
They stand at the airport much like they did before Tobin left for Thanksgiving. “6 sleeps.”
“You can count ‘em on your fingers,” Tobin echoes from before, and Alex nods with a grin.
“Yeah, I can. Alright, you know the drill, call me when you land.”
“Ok. Love you, Lex.”
“Love you, too. I’ll see you soon.”
+
Alex spends a quiet Christmas with her family, just the way she likes it.
She, Jeri, and her dad beat her mom, Jen, and Ryan in 5 rounds of Taboo before tying them in a game of Headbands — I said a mammal, Jer. Dolphins are fucking mammals. — We’re not talking about this anymore.
+
Tobin sticks true to her word, her flight landing at LAX in the late afternoon of the 31st.
Kelley greets her in typical fashion. “Welcome back, sucker. I get shotgun today.”
+
“Let’s go to Simmzy’s,” Kelley suggests, sticking an ankle out to hold the door for a straggling Tobin. “I get a free round of beers ‘cause I beat that guy in a shots competition, remember?”
Alex does. It was their first time going out to a bar ever since they moved into the house, and Kelley caught the attention of a guy fresh out of college who called her a lightweight.
(Kelley’s a lot of things, but she’s not a lightweight. The guy found out the hard way.)
+
Tobin, on the other hand, while able to hold her liquor, still gets rosy-cheeked after a few drinks.
She tries to hide it under the bill of her snapback, but Alex spins it backwards on her head for easier access to her lips because, “I think you look really cute.”
+
“No sleep.” Kelley slams her beer glass onto the counter of the bar and grabs onto Tobin’s shoulder. “We don’t sleep tonight, and we watch the first sunrise of 2013 together. Deal?”
Tobin nods in agreement, abruptly sticking her arm out as if to initiating a team huddle. “Deal.” Kelley’s freckled hand slaps on top of hers, and Alex is the last to follow.
“Deal.”
+
“10!”
Tobin gnaws on the tip of the noisemaker trapped between her teeth.
“9!”
Alex tugs it out softly and sets it down on the wooden counter behind them.
“8!”
Tobin’s eyes dart down to Alex’s lip, plump and pink with alcohol.
“7!”
Alex brings her hand up to softly caress Tobin’s cheek.
“6!”
Tobin lets her.
“ 5!”
Alex wedges one of her ankles in between both of Tobin’s so they’re standing in closer proximity.
“4!”
Tobin’s fingers get tangled in Alex’s hair and curl around the back of her neck.
“3!”
Alex lets Tobin’s free hand settle on the curve of her back.
“2!”
A familiar grin stretches across Tobin’s face as the inches between them begin to dissipate.
“1!”
Like so many other times before, their lips naturally mold together.
“Happy New Year’s!”
+
They’re sobered up by 1 am, but Kelley still calls a cab outside. “I’m an idiot, but I’m not stupid.”
+
Keeping to their promise, they don’t sleep. Instead, they race to their rooms to throw on clothes to play a scrimmage in, and Tobin snatches a ball from the shoe closet before they’re grabbing their bikes from the garage.
+
They go to another end of the beach further away from their usual spots, lowering one of the volleyball nets for an impromptu tournament of soccer tennis.
Kelley silently walks to Tobin’s side of the net, and when Alex shoots her an offended look, “You scored a game-winning goal in the 123rd minute of an Olympic semi-final. I think you got this covered.”
And to Alex’s satisfaction, she does. For 3 rounds. Then her friends’ competitive mode kicks in, and they edge her out for the next 4.
“New year, new winners,” Tobin holds a hand up in the air, and Kelley high-fives her proudly.
For all the times Alex has mercilessly beaten them in board games, she lets them have it.
+
It’s quiet when the sun rises. Tobin even halts her ball-juggling to soak it all in. She’s fiddling with the charm of the bracelet Alex gave her for Christmas, and while Alex knows she should be happy Tobin’s wearing it, it just makes her sad.
Because it’s a reminder. They only have 21 left to see together.
+
Kelley’s out with a friend that’s in town when Tobin and Alex decide to go apartment shopping.
“I texted Allie, she said she could use the extra bedroom. She’d help with rent, especially with me not moving in until the summer,” Tobin hops onto the side of the cart Alex is pushing. Alex shoots her one look, and she’s back on the ground.
“Ok, that’s awesome,” she says. “You want to choose some decor for the living room?”
“Like — like a lamp, or somethin’?”
Alex rolls her eyes, “No, Tobs. Like, I don’t know. A painting, a picture. Something that goes well with what we already have.”
Tobin’s lips purse. “That’s cool.” She points to a bulk of abstract paintings taking up a full shelf.
“Really?” Alex scrunches her nose with judgement. “You don’t think they’d clash with the — “
“ Al, you said I could choose,” Tobin hops back onto the cart, a teasing smile at her lips. “Plus, I don’t know, maybe whenever you walk by it, you’ll think of me.” She shrugs.
Alex’s edges soften, and she leans forward to lightly kiss Tobin’s nose. “I’ll already be thinking of you.”
“So I can get it?”
“You can get it.”
“Yes.”
+
The NWSL publicly announces the 2013 player allocation on January 11, 11 days before Tobin leaves for Paris.
Alex and Kelley are helping her pack her things when their phones start blowing up with texts.
“Weird,” Kelley scrolls her thumb over her screen. “Mine are all about how I’m gonna kick your asses.”
+
“I’m flying into Jersey the night of the 21st so I can spend one night with my family.” Tobin gnaws on the tip of her straw. Alex’s eyes shift to her empty plate of food.
“Four sleeps from now, huh?”
Tobin nods, and for the first time all night, Kelley falls completely silent.
The waitress comes to ask if they want the check, and none of them plan on eating anymore, but they still tell her no.
+
Tobin’s making her way towards the bed when Alex stops her, “You forgot the light again, babe.” It’s a nickname that only comes out when Alex is really sleepy.
Tobin quietly reprimands herself for doing so before flicking the bathroom light off and settling into her side of the mattress. “I don’t want to go anymore.”
“Yeah you do,” Alex says. “You’re just thinking about how much you’ll miss us.”
“It’s enough for me to not wanna go.”
“Tobin, no it isn’t,” Alex says gently, letting Tobin’s fingers innocently trace her collarbone. “I know you’re scared. It’s scary leaving everyone for the other side of the world. But Tobs, we’re not — we can’t let you pass up something like this. I can’t let you pass up something like this. I know you, and I know you’ve dreamed about doing this since you were a little girl. And I’m not saying I want to see you leave, but — it’d be selfish of me to let you stay.”
Tobin doesn’t say anything. Just presses her lips to Alex’s collarbone. The same spot she was tracing. “Night, Lex. Love you.”
+
They watch their last sunrise together.
If it was any other day, Alex would complain about how tired she was. Kelley would crack jokes about anything and everything, and Tobin would laugh at every single one of them.
Today, it’s all silence.
+
“The Last Supper or The Last Surf?” Kelley smirks on their way back to the beach, and Alex and Tobin belt out matching laughs.
Alex takes up her usual nook in the sand, the sun beating down harshly on her skin.
She’s digging through the bag they brought for Kelley’s sunscreen, when she peers out into the ocean to find her two friends sitting inches apart on their boards, letting the waves rock them back and forth.
They’re talking. Alex doesn’t know about what exactly, but she knows it’s serious. Whatever they’re saying, it’s important.
Then Kelley’s pulling Tobin into a hug, and they stay like that for awhile. They stay like that until they’re reverted back to their normal selves, racing each other to catch the next wave.
+
It’s only fitting for them to drop Tobin off at the airport as the sun sets.
Kelley and Alex are quick to help with her bags in the trunk.
“We said what we needed to say on the water, so don’t you dare get emotional with me.” Kelley’s grinning, but her eyes are glossy.
“C’mere, dude,” Tobin winds her arms around her tightly. The girl she’s known for nearly half her life. “I’m gonna miss you.”
“I’ll miss you more.” Kelley clutches onto her, then she lets her go. “Be safe, ok? And don’t forget about us. A call or text every once in awhile wouldn’t hurt.”
“You got it.” Tobin squeezes her arm, then Kelley shoots Alex a look that says — she’s all yours — before making her way back to the passenger’s seat of the car.
“I can’t count them on my fingers this time.” Alex’s composure cracks a lot sooner than anticipated. “There’s too many sleeps.”
It strikes a nerve with Tobin, and she takes her time swallowing a lump in the throat. “Fuck,” she mumbles. “You know I’ve never been good with words, Al. Let alone my hardest goodbye.”
Alex sniffles. “Enjoy the sunrises for me, ok? Let me know if they’re prettier over there.”
Tobin takes a long look at Alex, then a sad smile slants her lips. “They won’t be. I’m sure of it.” She tugs Alex into a hug, a hug with so much love, it could stop the world from spinning. “Tell me about Portland. You can show me the ropes when I get back.”
Alex nods. “I swore to never do this to Barca, but get me a PSG jersey,” she says lightly, feeling Tobin grin against her neck.
“I’ll play for the crest, and I’ll play for you.”
They pull away so they can look at each other, red-eyed, pink-nosed, and so, so, so full of love. “I’ll see you soon.”
Tobin kisses her one last time. “Yeah, You will.” And one more time. “I love you, Al.”
“I love you, too,” Alex forces a smile through the shake of her voice.
Tobin tends to her suitcases, then, grabbing her passport from her backpack and juggling it between her teeth. “Au revoir, yo.” She waves one last goodbye to Kelley, then turns back to Alex once she reaches the automatic sliding doors. She locks gaze with her and holds a hand to her heart, the bracelet Alex gave her for Christmas peeking out from her sleeve.
Alex reciprocates the action.
Then she watches her go.