Work Text:
it's a sweltering summer night, and you're sat on your couch. your mind's been racing all day, fixated on tung tung tung sahur, he has beeen haunting your every waking thought. he's not just any log, he’s about five feet tall, with stubby little branches that pass for arms, one of which grips a battered baseball bat like it's his lifeline. he's the ultimate fuckboy and always dropping lines like “baby, i'd split you like a log” while winking.
andwow, you've been yearning for him hard, touching yourself to fan art of his bat swinging, imagining that rough bark grinding against your skin. why him? who knows. tonight, though, the yearning's turned into a full-on ache, your cunt throbbing as you scroll through his instagram highlights, biting your lip at the sight of him flexing his muscles.
suddenly, a thunderous crack ripples ih the building, shaking the wall. you jerk up, heart pounding, as your front door explodes in a shower of splinters. there he is, triple t, bat raised high.
“time to swing for the fences, hot stuff!” he screams loudly.
before you can react he is rolling forward, bat swinging low to hook around your waist. it knocks the wind out of you as he drags you off the couch. “you think you can touch yourself to me all night without consequences? nah, i'm here to dick you down for good.”
you gasp, soaking, as he hauls you out the door, your feet kicking uselessly against the floor. youe neighbours peek out, but who the fuck calls the cops on a walking, talking log???? he bolts down the stairs, you bouncing against his side, his arm groping at your ass.
“feel that? that's prime wood, baby.” he laughs so loud that it vibrates through his core and straight to your clit
he takes you to a ramshackle cabin that looks like it was made by drunk beavers. he kicks the door open with a stubby branch and dumps you on the floor. the place reeks of sawdust and you see that posters of himself plaster the walls, all heroic poses with the bat.
“welcome to casa de tung, sweetheart. now, get your fine ass on the triple t bed, baby.” he points with the bat to a massive king sized bed in the corner. you get up, stripping off your tank top and shorts without a second thought. no time for gentleness, this fuckboy log doesn't do foreplay, he ruins you.
you climb onto the bed and tung rolls up after you. “that's right, spread those legs for the log king.” he pins your shoulder down while the other branch yanks your thighs apart. his bark is rough, scraping your inner thighs. you whimper as he places his wooden cock near you, thick and veined, already glistening with sap. “gonna rawdog you till you splinter.”
he thrusts in without warning, the bark ridges grinding against your pussy like a cheese grater. you cry out, back arching off the triple t bed. ttt rolls his body forward, pistoning his cock deeper, making your tits bounce.
“fuck yeah, take this timber! you're so tight!!!!” his words are pure filth.
he pulls out abruptly, his wooden cock slick, and flips you over onto your stomach like you're his fucktoy. “time for some backdoor batting practice.” he shoves his cock into your ass, forcing it in dry and deep. the burn is excrucaiting, your hole clenching as he buries himself. “ass like a vice grip, i love it!” he pounds awa..
you're moaning into the bed as he yanks out again, spinning you around. “eyes on the prize, baby.” and before you know it, he's hovering that sap slick cock over your face. you look up at him. “open wide... or not.” he angles down and jams the tip into your left eye socket. not your actual eye, thank fuck, but he pries your eyelid open with it and rubs the head against the socket rim, smearing sap across your eyeball like lube.
your hand flyings to your clit to rub while he violates your eye socket. he thrusts the wood bumping your cornea gently, somehow not blinding you!!! though you wouldnt mind if triple t fucked tour eye so good it made you blind.. its worth it.
he rolls back, “now, for the real treat…. give me them toenails.” he flips your foot up, inspecting your toes with a cocky grin. “these little piggies look lonely.” he laughs devilishly and grabbing your big toe, he forces the toenail against his penis, scraping it along the like its a nail file. your nail catches on thebark, flaking bits off as he jerks himself with your toenail,
“scratch my itch you slut, yeah just like that.”
enough games…. he tosses your leg aside and climbs back between your thighs, slamming back into your pussy with renewed anger. “condom? don’t know her” he laughs and pounds you as your nails dig into his bark, whispering flirty bullshit, “you're my favourite, you know that? gonna carve my initials in you.” your walls flutter around him.
bro im too lazy to write the rest of this bs so he rips the condom off and scrapes your g-spot your pussy convulses, squirting all over the triple t duvet.
“tung! fuck, tung!!!!””
“right there!” he roars, burying deep as floods taht pussy with thick sticky sap that drips down your ass crack. you become pregnant immeditately.
“look at that knocked up by a log! you're carrying little tunglets now.” he pulls out with a pop.