Chapter Text
From Jarvey to Marvey
Harvey stares at the worn photo. He hasn’t looked at it in years. In fact, he halfway thought he had lost it; that it wouldn’t be in that envelope; the one he kept in his desk that had the letter and…
Harvey inhales deeply, pinching his nose with his thumb and forefinger. Once again he glances at the photograph. It told a story of a different time, a different him, a different them- when there was a them. Yes, Jessica was his mentor. But what many don’t know was that she had many titles in his life. She was his friend, savior, boss, and, yes, even his lover. Harvey is pretty sure that plenty of people figured out he and Jessica had more than a “working” relationship. Especially if they happened to be at the office after hours where they often gave in to the passion that flowed between them beneath the surface. But he is positive that there is one title Jessica had that not even Donna is aware of. Jessica, at one time, was also his wife. The photo was taken of them in the first weeks after they had snuck off and exchanged vows, rings and promises; none of which they kept.
They had a whirlwind romance; it burned hot and it burned fast. But after the first few months, they discovered the passion they had for each other couldn’t compete with the passion they had for success. They were young, and easily tempted to make promises and sacrifices in the name of climbing the corporate ladder. And while the temporary nature of their romance fizzled, the love, the real love they felt for each other, remained. Over the years it grew, morphed into something else. What was left behind was a love that went deeper than their passionate affair. Harvey was her stallion, and Jessica was, and would always be, his queen.
Now, after all their years together, she is leaving. He is happy for her; he really is. He always wanted her to be happy and he realized long ago it couldn’t be with him. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t also hurt. Harvey is losing his best friend, the woman who plucked him out of a shitty existence and gave him a chance to become the man he is today. Once upon a time, his heart belonged to her and her only. But now it seems, without his knowledge or permission, it belongs to someone else; and it will forevermore.
Harvey refills his glass and takes it and the picture over to the window. The night sky looking duller than he can remember.
“You know…,” she starts. “I look much better than that now.” Jessica’s familiar voice bring him out of his thoughts.
Harvey turns to face her and smiles. “I don’t know, Jessica, you were pretty beautiful back then.” He watches as she lifts an eyebrow. “Of course, you are absolutely gorgeous now.”
She smiles easily and takes the picture from his hand. “God, we were so young back then.”
She strokes her finger across his image. “I don’t know if I ever told you this, Harvey…,” she starts, going over to pour herself a drink.
Glass in hand she strides back over to where he is standing; stopping when she is mere inches away. Dropping her eyes to his, she continues.
“I have no regrets. Not then, not now.”
“Neither do I,” he answers honestly, reaching for her hand.
They stand there, sharing the same space, the same air, in comfortable silence. Harvey knows there will never be another moment like this between them. So many words they said over the years, and many more they never did. When they said goodbye to their personal relationship, Harvey wrote a letter, to tell her all the things he didn’t have the courage to say. But instead he decided against it- folding the letter up along with his ring, stuffing it in the envelope; the one he pulled out tonight. A sly look comes across her features, like she has just found a secret.
“You ever wonder what would’ve happened if…” she trails off.
“You mean if we would’ve stayed married; gone off and started Specter and Specter?” he finishes for her.
“We probably would’ve ended up hating each other,” he laughs.
She smiles widely, shaking her head. “No, we wouldn’t have.”
He lets go of her hand and reaches for his own glass, taking a sip. “Yeah, you’re probably right. We wouldn’t have. Besides, I’m sure you would’ve have forbidden that.”
“Damn straight.”
“Still, it would never have worked,” he continues, his voice soft.
“True. But I still think I got the better end of the agreement,” she muses.
“You wish. I only let you be my boss, because I loved you.”
“You were afraid of me.”
“Like I said. I loved you.”
They share a laugh and Jessica puts her drink down on Harvey’s desk before pulling him in close bringing her lips to his ear.
“I love you.”
He pulls back and gently presses his lips against hers. “I love you too. Now go. Jeff is lucky to have you. But remember, if you ever need us..,” he pauses capturing her eyes. “…ever need me. You know where to find me.”
She smiles softly and leans back in for another chaste kiss before turning to leave. Harvey watches her walk slowly towards the door. Upon reaching it she stops and turns around.
“You know you need to tell him.”
Harvey looks at her blankly. “I don’t know what you are talking about."
“Don’t play dumb with me. It really doesn’t suit your pretty face.”
Harvey chuckles at the old running joke. “You think I’m pretty?” he answers automatically.
“Harvey… If you do not go and tell Mike how you feel…”
“I know, Jessica. I’m crazy in love with him, but I don’t know if now is the right time to tell him.”
“Really now. What are you going to do? Write it in a letter and never send it?” she mocks.
“Hey! Have you been snooping around my office?”
“Harvey. Promise me. Promise me that you will take this chance, like I am taking mine.”
He looks at her softly, knowing in his gut she is right. He does love Mike. He's been in love with Mike since he stumbled into his interview all those years ago. He nods his agreement.
“Good boy.”
He shoos her out of his office. “Go on and get out of here. And Jessica? Don’t look back.”
This time she nods. They don’t say goodbye; they will never do that. But he knows this is the end of their chapter. He glances at the photo once more, then carefully puts it back in the envelope. He quickly grabs a pen and scrawls on the outside of the envelope, ‘The Past’, before locking it back in his desk. He is finishing his drink when he hears her voice from the distance.
“Harvey?”
Donna. Of course it’s Donna. Who else would know what he needs at this exact moment.
“Are you okay?”
He could lie, but he knows it would be no use. “No.”
“Do you want to be alone?” she asks.
“No.”
“Then you know what you have to do.” She smiles knowingly, reaching out to squeeze his hand.
“Thanks, Donna.”
She retreats from the office and Harvey pulls out his cell. Time to meet my future head on, he thinks. Harvey punches in speed dial #1. It’s answered on the first ring.
“Mike?”
“Hey, Harvey. What’s up?”
“Nothing. Just wanted to see if you wanted to grab a drink tonight with me.”
“Yeah, sure. Where?”
Once the arrangements are finished, Harvey grabs his coat. He knows come tomorrow this office, the building, the firm will not be the same. But after tonight he hopes he won’t be either.