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Hitoshi is face down on the couch, just existing for a hot second, when his phone goes off in rapid succession.
It's not a call, the pattern is too irregular for that, so someone must be spamming his messages and for a moment, Hitoshi groans into the couch before he forces his body to move.
It could be as mundane as another one of Mina's texting spree's in their group chat. It could also be that the world outside is ending and everyone is desperately trying to check in on their friends and loved ones and that's the only reason Hitoshi starts moving at all.
If the world is ending, he wants to know.
He flops himself around and blindly reaches for his phone, which he eventually gets and when he unlocks it he's met with a barrage of messages, all from one person.
"The fuck did you do, Neito," Hitoshi grumbles as he clicks into their message thread and his eyes roam over each new message.
I'm sorry
Fuck, i fucked up
tell him i'm sorry
I didn't mean to, i am going to apologize i promise, just sorry
i REALLY didn't mean to say that
can you tell him I'm sorry
and sorry to you too
shit, that was so dumb
i promise i didn't do it to rile him up
it just slipped out
stupid mouth
you know me
i'm sorry
Neito starts to repeat himself at one point and Hitoshi sits up, a frown now on his face because that sounds serious.
That sounds like he pissed someone off big time and somehow this affects Hitoshi, too, if those messages are anything to go by and really, that can only mean that Neito said something stupid and dumb to Katsuki.
Something Hitoshi is potentially going to get into trouble for, if Neito's frantic apologies are anything to go by and Hitoshi is just about to type out a message to ask Neito what the fuck he could have possibly done, when he hears the key in their lock.
Alright, he's going to get it straight from the source then, Hitoshi thinks as he puts the phone to the side, expectantly looking towards the hallway.
It's not long at all before Katsuki steps through the doorway and immediately, Hitoshi is on edge.
Katsuki is calm. He's too calm. He barely spares Hitoshi a glance, simply walks past him into the kitchen and for a second Hitoshi is frozen in fear.
This seems bad. This seems so much worse than he could have anticipated and maybe Neito didn't apologise enough, actually, because a Katsuki this calm can only mean Hitoshi's death.
Hitoshi takes a moment to lament his life, before he pushes himself up and follows Katsuki into the kitchen, simply watching him get everything out for dinner.
"Kats," Hitoshi uncertainly starts. "What happened?"
It's futile to pretend that he doesn't know something is wrong, he truly knows Katsuki better than this, and Katsuki's shoulders tense for a moment before he clearly forces himself to relax.
"Leave me alone," Katsuki eventually gives back, his voice deceptively soft and that, too, makes all kinds of alarm bells go off in Hitoshi's mind.
"I'd really rather not. Can you tell me what happened?" Hitoshi asks again because he needs to resolve whatever has Katsuki in a mood like this but until he knows what happened, he can't do anything.
Hitoshi almost flinches when Katsuki turns around, crossing his arms in front of his chest and levels Hitoshi with the most hateful look he has ever received from him.
"Kats," Hitoshi whispers, completely helpless in face of this quiet, downplayed anger and Katsuki works his jaw for a second before he speaks.
"How did my back feel when you stabbed me, huh? Was it worth it? Was it fun?"
"When I—Kats, I don't even know what you're talking about," Hitoshi says, because he doesn't.
He would never knowingly or willingly betray Katsuki and to think that Katsuki suspects him of doing something like that almost makes Hitoshi feel sick.
"Your phone's been going off all this time," Katsuki says with a nod towards the living-room, where Hitoshi's phone is indeed still vibrating away. "Is he giving you a play-by-play? Making fun of me? Are you laughing about how easy it was to hit where it hurts?"
"He's been frantically apologising, actually," Hitoshi gives back, "for something he didn't further specify, so I still don't know what's going on," Hitoshi tries again, because until he knows just what happened, there's nothing he can do.
"I told you about my mom in confidence," Katsuki spits out and Hitoshi sees how he clenches his fists. "I told you and no one else and you used that shit against me. You turned right around and spilled it to god knows who and now you all get to laugh about what a little pussy I am, right? Well, fuck you, too, Hitoshi."
Katsuki sneers at him like he hasn't done since the very first time they met and Hitoshi frowns at him, because it still doesn't make any sense.
"Your mom? Why would I go around and tell Neito about your mom?"
He knows what Katsuki means, of course. It's hard to forget the night where Katsuki finally admitted that his mom's treatment of him is absolute shit and actual abuse and that it barely got any better since they graduated and Hitoshi would never go around and tell that to other people.
Katsuki confided in him and Hitoshi knows first hand how horribly a shitty family can fuck you up and to think that Katsuki honestly believes that he went around and spilled all of his secrets—
"What did he say?" Hitoshi asks because for all that he can infer what happened, it still doesn't make any sense and Katsuki scoffs.
"Does it matter? Does it really matter, Hitoshi? You're the only one I told about that and if he can make a joke about it then it's because you told him. That's all there is to it. You took all of my trust and spit on it and honestly, I don't even want to look at you right now."
"I never told him!" Hitoshi blurts out because he would never. "I wouldn't, Kats, you have to know that."
"Then how does he know, huh? Pray tell, Hitoshi, how can he know about my shitty-ass mother?"
A conversation from a few weeks back suddenly pops up in Hitoshi's mind and he can't help it, he lets out a surprised little "Oh" which only seems to cement things for Katsuki.
"Thought so. Get fucked, Hitoshi," he almost dismissively says and turns back around to the stove, but Hitoshi is not going to let that stand.
He almost feels sick with everything that's happening right now—with what's going to happen as soon as he talks—but he'd rather take Katsuki's rejection than have him think he betrayed him.
"Kats, let me explain. We've been best friends for so long, don't you think I should at least get to explain?"
"And then what, huh? You think I'll magically forgive you for it?"
"No, but maybe you'll understand. You can do whatever afterwards and if you never want to speak to me again, fine,"—not fine, actually, but Hitoshi swallows that down—, "but at least give me the chance to explain."
There's a beat of silence in the kitchen before Katsuki turns back around to him and just that makes Hitoshi's knees weak, because it means Katsuki is willing to hear him out.
"One chance."
"That's all I need," Hitoshi nods and then wrings his hands in front of his chest. "You know that you and Neito are my best friends," he starts with and the scowl on Katsuki's face deepens. "And there are some things I can only—some things I don't want you to—fuck."
Hitoshi cuts himself off because this isn't how he wanted to do this, he didn't want to do this at all, in all honesty, and to have it dragged out in the open because of Neito's stupid fucking mouth is actually the worst.
"Okay, listen, I'm not saying this to manipulate you or anything and I can guess your answer anyway, especially now, so just. It's part of the explanation, okay, so just take it as such," Hitoshi rambles, wringing his hands in front of his chest and Katsuki watches him with narrowed eyes, not saying anything.
Well, here goes nothing then.
"I'm in love with you," Hitoshi blurts out and decidedly does not look at Katsuki as he says it. "And that's not something I can rant to you about, so I do that with Neito. And a few weeks back I told him that I feel as if you really get me, as if you understand me in a way no one else ever has and he, well. He told me that no one could really understand me, not with how much shit I've gone through so far."
Hitoshi takes a deep breath before he goes on.
"He knows about all of my shitty foster families, about all the abuse I went through and he knows but he doesn't understand, not like someone who also went through something similar. And I—I told him that you understand."
Hitoshi puts emphasis on the last word and he dares to look at Katsuki at this to see if he gets what he's implying and going by how wide Katsuki's eyes are, maybe he does.
Maybe he's still shell-shocked by Hitoshi's stupid, ill-advised admission, who knows.
"I implied, okay, and that was stupid, I know and I'm sorry, but I didn't outright say anything."
"But today he said—"
"Neito is dumb and an idiot, but he's not stupid. And your mom isn't subtle. It's probably not that hard to guess once you know to look for it. And I made sure he knew to look for it; I gave him enough to puzzle the pieces together and I'm sorry for that but I never outright spilled what you told me, I can promise you that, Kats. I would never."
Silence settles over the kitchen and Hitoshi shuffles on his feet.
"I understand that it's still my fault, cause I couldn't keep my stupid mouth shut but I didn't stab you in the back and I didn't use your trust against you. It wasn't done maliciously, I didn't mean to hurt you and I know that all of this is stupid and useless cause it still happened and he knows but. I'm sorry. For what it's worth, I'm sorry. Neito is, too. That's why my phone's been blowing up. He's not making fun of you or the situation, he's been rambling apology after apology."
It's probably a hollow comfort to know that Neito at least knows he fucked up and Hitoshi isn't in a much better position because sure, it was only alluded and he didn't mean anything by it, but he still spilled something Katsuki told him in secret and Hitoshi can only guess how much it must hurt to have that thrown in your face like that.
He forces himself to meet Katsuki's gaze because whatever he decides, Hitoshi deserve it, that's for sure, but his heart is beating away like crazy in his chest.
"You rant to him about me? When I annoy you or—"
"Fuck, Kats, I tell you to your face when you get on my last nerve," Hitoshi blurts out because he does.
That's how they work, that has always been how they work, no punches pulled between them and Hitoshi loves that more than anything.
"I rant to him when you did something disgustingly cute that makes me a love sick idiot." So all the time, too, but Katsuki doesn't need to know that right now. "It's hardly something I can talk to you about."
"Why not?"
"Huh?"
Hitoshi blinks in confusion when he hears Katsuki say that, because it's obvious why he can't, right?
"I said, why can't you rant to me about that?"
"Because—you don't know? Didn't, more like and it's—you wouldn't want that?"
"Says fucking who?" Katsuki demands to know, crossing his arms again and Hitoshi's head is spinning.
Maybe he needs to sit down.
"It's not—Kats. Kats, did you not listen, I said I'm in love with you. I love you. Stupid mushy romantic feelings from me for you. That's not—you don't want that, not from me."
Hitoshi made his peace with that, a while back actually. He's been head over heels for Katsuki since their school years and he knows him well enough by know to know that Katsuki hardly cares for romantic shit at all and that Hitoshi is definitely not on his list of potential prospects for any kind of relationship that goes further than friendship.
It's fine. It's all fine, Hitoshi knows what he's in for, so it's—fine.
"The fuck do you know about what I want?" Katsuki asks and that's it, Hitoshi stumbles over to the table, because he needs to be seated right the hell now.
"Nothing, maybe?" he weakly guesses and watches in awe how Katsuki nods.
"Damn right, you don't. Stupid fucking idiot, thinks I couldn't love him," he grumbles, almost to himself and Hitoshi's ears honest to god ring.
This can't be real.
"Kats, I don't—you can't just say that. You were mad as fuck when you came back just now, you can't just. This doesn't make sense."
"It makes perfect fucking sense, idiot, pay attention," Katsuki says and snaps his fingers in Hitoshi's face. "I was mad as fuck because I trust you, more than anyone else, more than I ever have trusted anyone else. And I was hurt as fuck because I love you and thought you couldn't give a shit about me and everything I entrusted you with. Does that get into your stupid thick head?"
"No," Hitoshi rushes out. "Say it again."
It's almost like a dream, the way Katsuki softens right in front of his eyes and Hitoshi can do nothing but stare in awe at him when he leans forward and tugs on a stray strand of hair.
"I love you, moron. And I forgive you. Stupid, shitty situation with a stupid loudmouth who doesn't think before he speaks, but you're right. You didn't air out all of my dirty laundry to him, and it's hardly your fault he can put two and two together, so yeah. You're forgiven."
"Really?" Hitoshi breathes out and Katsuki rolls his eyes and turns back to his dinner preparations.
"I don't talk to morons," he courtly says and gets the knife out and even the threat of death couldn't keep Hitoshi in his seat at that moment, so a second later he's draped all over Katsuki’s back, nuzzling his cheek.
"I love you, too," he breathes out and presses a kiss to Katsuki's cheek, which makes him go bright red in the face and makes him grumble about idiots and morons and clingy, lanky troll dolls but Hitoshi doesn't get an elbow to the gut or a knife to the hand so he figures it's fine.
And it really is, because for one brief, wonderful moment Katsuki leans back instead of squirming away, leans against Hitoshi and that's really proof enough.