Chapter Text
Mike is nothing if not prepared, that's his whole thing, he is organised in a granted somewhat chaotic way but he tries okay. He tries. In line with that trying he spent the 25 minute bike ride it took to get to this door planning exactly what he was going to say, Short and sweet. Hopefully.
"Okay, this should be easy, just a few sentences and we go about our days like I didn't just drop a bomb and leave.. okay no, phrasing, don't- don't think about that.. Jesus Christ.."
"Hey.... fancy seeing you here.. in your homeeee..." Sure great job Mike, solid.
"Hey sooo... Hypothetically if I needed to stay somewhere could I stay here or would you tell my mum? Until? uhm until further notice??" Okay that's maybe not too horrible, okay yes.. Maybe it is. Shit. What can I say..
"Hey, Would you keep a secret from Will for me? If you could keep this between us, I maybe sort of like a boy and that's probably going to send my parents back to the hospital or you know to pick up brochures and send me off to some place to "fix me" but there's nothing wrong with me, I don't even know if its just an isolated case because I'm still figuring it out.." Oh.. this is... Jesus okay maybe not..
"Hey, so there's just this one boy who I like and I can't tell you who it is, that's irrelevant its not your umm son no absolutely not" Or - yeah no not- not that..
"Hey so you know that I dated a girl that you uh... know because she lived here... well, maybe I should have dated the boy here instead?..." Yikes no..FUCK..
"Hey, I don't think I should have dated eleven because I'm not sure if I loved her like I was supposed to and I know she is...de-go-" Okay absolutely not that. Somehow its getting worse the more I think about it...
"Hey so, Boys... am I right?" Maybe I should turn back around and go home or find an interdimensional rift to travel back in time, disappear into or just tell myself not to leave this morning without a plan.
Mike groans and decides against stopping or he may actually turn around and go home. He needs to do this, to have a sliver of a chance at happiness and not become his dad.. and that starts with facing his feelings, Who he is and with Will.
Here now and its 10 steps till he gets to the door and he can't remember a damn thing he thought to say, not that any of the things he thought were all that great, but his mind is decidedly blank and he is now more panicked than he has ever been, including fighting literal monsters or well aliens from another planet technically? Whatever they were they should be more terrifying than this. I guess the worst they could have done was eat him, there's a lot more at stake here.
Mike takes a breath as deep as his lungs will allow, he lifts his fist that's shaking so violently he thinks to himself he might miss the door entirely despite standing two feet from it in the dead centre of it. He drops it shakes both his hands, breathing out slow reminding himself once the breath is mostly out that he needs to remember to breath in again, clenching and unclenching his fists, breath unsteady he shakes them again along with his head..
he considers doing some jumping jacks.. he doesn't
He breaths in a normal amount of air and swiftly lifts his fist and knocks in one motion to force himself to actually knock, he is worried if he doesn't do it this time he never will or time will pass and she will hear him and just open it, which would be far more embarrassing.
knock
pause
knock
Mike hears some shuffling inside and footsteps, he briefly considers running, but spends all the energy he has to hold himself there. He's doing this.
He's doing this now, he planned, he made sure nobody else was home.
He orchestrated this like a chess match or a DnD campaign, he mentioned to Steve the other day that everyone should catch up and how college was going to be weird and not seeing his friends would be weirder and that he is going to make sure that this year he makes time before its too late to.
He was hoping that would ignite something in Steve to plan something.. big ask but.. clearly worked. He overheard Nancy and Robin talking this morning about Steve wanting to catch up today and planning with Johnathan to get a drink.
He memorised hoppers work schedule and Joyces when he was at Wills last week. The whole month written down in his journal, and if the hang out happened when hopper wasn't scheduled?
Well he is prepared, according to subsection B he would ask Will to get Hop to drop him off, why? you may ask, well of several excuses prepared the most basic one still would work, was sure of it. That was to say he wanted to talk to him about something personal which... (that something he would have to think about), but classic Mike Wheeler as always he would be conveniently late to the catch up and tell him it wasn't important or he would get back to him.
You may be thinking I'm missing Joyce and her work schedule, of course not! Visiting Joyce at the store if she wasn't going to be home, promptly crying and her taking a smoke break or taking us out of the view of customers to talk. It was planned out with no holes, the perfect plan.
What could go wrong right?
This morning after overhearing Nancy, Mike radioed his friends to catch up at Lucas' and he knows hopper is working today, Joyce is Home. Its now or never.
Joyce opens the door with a tea towel hanging over her shoulder as she dries her hands on it
"Mike Hey"
"Hey Mrs Byers" he says fiddling with his hands trying not to hold eye contact too long
"Mike I told you it’s Joyce, i've known you since you were 5 and we have fought interdimensional aliens together, I think you can drop the formality. Wills not home honey-" a look of concern with slight confusion on her face which only adds to the anxiety flaring in he notes.
"Sorry Mrs- Joyce. Joyce, sorry.. Yeah, I know, he’s on his way to Lucas’ and Johnathan’s catching up with Nancy, Steve and Robin today. I’m actually…" he inhales deep, trying to stay calm, voice even "I’m actually here to see you if that’s- if that’s okay?" he looks to her eyes through his lashes, with the face his sister has told him in not too many words resembles a Labrador.
"Of course.. you’re family, you know that. Is everything okay?.. Is this- about Will?"
"Yeah.. I mean NO.. w-well I uhh sort of no not really.. no. It’s uh it’s about me.." he looks past her shoulder to double check for movement, and sees nothing. It looks like his plan worked which he didn't doubt, but doesn't hurt to double check.
This isn't something he wants anyone else to overhear.
"Okay.. Did something happen? You okay?" Looking at him like she's trying to piece together a puzzle made up entirely of pieces from different boxes
"Yeah, can I uh.. come in?" Mike gestures to Joyces left and she looks back quickly before she moves to the side to let him in.
"Oh yeah of course come in, do you want a drink?" Turning, she starts walking towards the kitchen glancing over her shoulder briefly
"Yeah a coffee would be great" she nods and goes to turn back around, confusion evident on her face "Uh I-I’ll get it, you sit. You sit.." Mike rushes out as he steps closer to her and ushers her to take a seat on one of the couches in the living room.
She allows it to happen, but is very aware this isn't regular Mike Wheeler behaviour. It’s not that he doesn't help out when he stays over but he is more erratic today and though polite, this Mike is one she hasn't seen since he was 11. Somethings a miss. Something is different. She's just not sure what yet..
Mike flutters around the kitchen busying himself, he knows where everything is so its not like he has to annoy Joyce by constantly asking where things are.
He's trying to keep busy to stop his hands from shaking, and think how to start this thing without embarrassing himself, letting too much be known and or broaching the painful subject of his ex girlfriend.. including what this revelation would all mean about that relationship.. basically he is panicking.
He does spill milk and coffee on the bench, thankfully Joyce drinks tea so that was a lot neater to make and less mess to clean up after the fact.
After a few minutes of pacing while the water boils and deciding that he has had enough, he knows he can’t stretch this out anymore.. he has spent enough time avoiding. Mike breaths in deep, he has a plan or well.. yeah he has a plan. He finalises the drinks and cleaning to head back. Mike notes he is as calm as he can be right now. He's got this right?
He does not.
He turns around to take a step toward the couch, and looking up was a mistake. Yep, mistake, huge. Maybe one of the biggest for a while.
She is sitting and analysing him, she is turned towards him seated where Mike left her, looking at him.
Mike is unsure now long, but as he looks up they catch eyes for a moment. Mike quickly turns around, the anxiety flairs, shoulders to ears and breath stuttering and he holds the bench one last time, white knuckles and shaky breaths, one more breath. You got this. He picks up the cups cursing himself for a few moments.
Once he is done learning how to breath and trust his legs again, he carries over the two cups, to a waiting Joyce. He cant know, not entirely, but he can feel it and he refuses to look, because he just knows she is still staring at him like he grew another head, or his head has morphed into that of a demo.
Thankfully he does have sense sometimes and knowing his limits is one, he had the foresight to only fill the cups just over half way, the walk to the couch feels longer than it normally does, he is slower too and the shaking is worse than he thought it would be not as bad as the door.
He spills them a little walking into the lounge, before he pops them on the coffee table to adjust his grip. He holds the top handing Joyce hers with the handle pointed to her to grab easy.
"Here you go"
"Thanks honey-" a beat, mike hasn't moved and its only been a few seconds but its still too long, he's frozen "Why don’t you come sit" she says patting the seat next to her.
Mike already feels like crying.