Work Text:
Yolanda Garcia is not prone to mistakes.
(She learned quite early in her residency, mistakes can cost people their lives, so she made sure to hold on to efficiency like a lifeline)
But as she sits in bed, she is starting to believe that yesterday she made a mistake.
(In her defense, it's not something she does often).
After experiencing her first death on the table as an intern, she saw just how much hesitance and second guessing can cost. So she made sure:
Be confident
Don't second guess
And if in the chance mistakes are made, learn fast.
Because in surgery you can't undo mistakes, you just take what you need to learn- if not, then move on. If you can fix it, then do it quickly, but with the pace of the work, you need to move on just as fast.
Yet somehow she finds herself on the morning of July 5th taking a pause and feeling off kilter.
Not due to any leftover cases from (yet another) MCI event the evening prior (she also learned quite early the benefits of compartmentalization), but rather the lingering gaze Trinity shot her as she got into her car.
The resignation.
It's been quite obvious from Trinity's first shift that Dr. Santos is a fighter who rolls with the punches and keeps on fighting, keeps advocating, even if it seemed ambitious.
(Yolanda knows this very well)
And yesterday, even if they were across the room from each other, she saw that resilience come through, time and time again. That drive to save every case that came on Trinity's plate. Even the drive to even get through her damned her charting.
She knows that there are very few things Trinity would give up on.
So who was she kidding? No matter the first impression, in the last ten months she's gotten to know Trinity she knows full well that Santos is not someone who is casual about anything.
(Except maybe loving herself).
So to see Trinity look at her with resignation? Like she was giving up, on her?
(On them? On us? Is there even an us?)
Fuck.
She’ll akin it to the quiet, the pause this morning that allows the denial to fall away so she can admit to herself that somehow she knew from day one there was no chance Trinity Santos was someone she could be casual about. As she lets out a long exhale, she goes through the mental checklist that was engrained from the beginning of her medical training once more.
She’s made the mistake, so what next?
Learn from this, and move on, or fix it.
(And if with that thought, she’s met with the dichotomy of brilliant green eyes that showcase a confidence in presenting with a case, yet off shift are paired with an wry grin and nervous question of acceptance-
Yolanda Garcia realizes there was no moving on from Trinity Santos).
Double Fuck.
This is how Yolanda finds herself primed and ready, with a multi beverage tray bearing three coffees in one hand, and pastry box in the other (all while rehearsing an apology in mind). Yet it’s not Trinity who meets her when she opens the apartment door.
“Dr. Garcia?”
“Morning White Chocolate. I come in peace and bearing gifts.” She says as she puts the box of pastries on the table cooly even when met with Whitaker’s trepidation.
He spots the extra coffee on the beverage tray but still eyes it suspiciously.
(She has a track record of bribing him to leave so Trinity and her could have the house to themselves).
“Santos up yet?” She asks as she takes in his questioning gaze.
“Um. I thought she was with you?” He asks brows furrowing and at that she stills.
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t hear her come in last night, and I just checked her room. It’s empty. ” He says pulling out his phone and she feels her stomach drop. “-I figured she might have crashed at your place or something.” He says with his own brows furrowing together. She can’t help the rush of thoughts that cross her mind.
Is she okay?
Is she safe?
“But I saw you left together last night.” She says putting her coffee down, reaching for her own phone from her back pocket and hoping Whitaker didn’t pick up the slight tremor in her voice.
(She’s had much practice in masking her emotions).
“Yeah, but then after a beat in the parking lot, she decided to go back in to catch up on her charting.” He says looking back at what might be Trinity’s texts.
“I thought she was going to watch the fireworks.” She says pulling up her own last text to Trinity from this morning, sent in a rush as she was getting ready to drive over from the bakery, only now noticing the blue bubble lacking the confirmation of delivery. At that he scoffs.
“She hates the fourth. Brings up some bad memories - She only wanted to watch it with you.” He says looking back up at her, and though he normally looks like a sad puppy, she is noticing how he’s starting to resemble Trinity’s ‘I’m judging you’ look.
“I had to take a rain check.”
“So you say- cause you guys are just casual right?” He says with a scoff crossing his arms. She returns his trepidation with a glare of her own.
“You know as well as I do, she was the first one to drop the casual word.” She says crossing her own arms to mirror him.
“And with the way she looks at you- you really believed that?” He says with another scoff as his phone vibrates, and he breaks eye contact to reply.
“-I was respecting her wishes-“
“-You were looking for an excuse-“ He says without looking up.
“-You know how she is-“
“We both know how she is Garcia.” He says a little more firmly with a sigh. There it is again, resignation.
(And although she likes it when she instills fear in the guy who is clearly like a sibling to Trinity- she can’t help but appreciate the moments his backbone appears).
“I don’t have time for this Whitaker. Think what you may about me, but my last text didn’t deliver. Did you text her or not? Do you know if she’s safe?” She asks with exasperation (and a bit of desperation).
She remembers the scars.
She remembers missed therapy sessions.
Please be safe.
Please be okay.
“Yeah her phone died, but according to the group chat, she ended up spending the night at the hospital to catch up on charting and was roped into volunteer work for hospital PR this morning.” He says as he finally moves to grab the coffee that was intended for him, and trepidatiously moving toward the pastry box.
“What the hell? After yesterday’s shift, she should be off-“
“-She volunteered.” He says with emphasis as he selects a chocolate croissant. Taking a step back to take her in. For all the ways Whitaker may look like a doused mouse, there are some moments where his empathetic soul shines through - and maybe he sees something different in her today. Maybe he doesn’t see Dr. Garcia from yesterday who was hurt and still in denial, but rather Yolanda who came with clear peace offerings. She allows him a bite of the croissant before asking her next question.
“Where is she?”
“You actually care?” He says with a squint.
“-I’m not going to garner that with a response.” She says with a little bite. It looks like he decides on something, and though he obviously seems nervous, he still takes his time as he sips his coffee before giving his response.
“Her phone died, but thankfully she’s with a few other doctors and nurses in the field team.” He says taking another sip, “I texted, and someone just gave her a battery pack to charge. Her phone should be up in running in the next few minutes… By then, I’m sure you’ll be able to track her location.” He says before sitting down at the table. Her ears burn a bit at the implication. She doesn’t ask how he knows they share each other’s location.
(She realizes, thin walls, he probably heard the conversation.
That Krav Maga or not, when Trinity was on the night shift for two weeks three months ago, they made the decision as both had a need to know the other was home and safe, especially if too tired to text.
They both made it seem like a nonchalant practical choice.
After Trinity rotated back into night shift, neither of them decided to change it back).
She only nods in response before sitting down.
“So. Where did Gloria send them?” She asks as she leans back in her chair, relishing the relief in knowing Trinity is safe.
(Safe but overworked. That’s a different issue to deal with when the time comes).
“Uhh… based on the pictures coming through on the ED group chat….” He says confused all the more and turns his phone to show her.
“What the Fuck?”
“No seriously, what the actual fuck?” She mutters to herself as she’s met with costumes of- you know what she doesn’t even know. All she knows is that it is 90 degrees outside, and no wonder Gloria took the opportunity with the partnership, because she’s sure with this weather, onsite treatment at the event would help mitigate the influx of furry costumes within PTMC’s waiting room.
In the end, it only takes her 45 minutes to find the onsite medical tent and in it Dr. Trinity Santos wearing a PTMC medical vest that states “Doctor” over a T-shirt that has-
Is that a red dragon?
“Interesting choice of professional wear.” She says in greeting as she approaches the tent and is met with startled green eyes, and a few nods of acknowledgment from the other medical staff.
“She was told yesterday that she might make a good dragon - So she thought it was apt to make good on that.” Student Dr. Kwon (was it Joy?) responds with a smirk, to which Trinity responds with an eye roll.
“For your information - It’s Jake Long the American Dragon. I wore it to rep my Filipino Pride. Dante Basco is king and who wouldn’t want to be like Dante Basco.” She says with a smirk at Joy, before turning to look at Garcia with a questioning look. “Dr. Garcia?” She says in greeting but also as a question, and though she knows it’s her own fault, Yolanda kind of hates the tone.
Too formal for her tastes.
Nonetheless, she approaches with a tumbler of coffee and paper bag of food in hand. Before she can say anything another voice breaks through the tent.
“Funny - I didn’t think Gloria would send someone from surgery for the onsite medical.” She hears and turns to greed Dr. Ellis with a nod.
“Not here for professional reasons.” She says, to which Dr. Ellis smirks as she passes a KitKat bar to Trinity.
(She clocks it and internally seethes, because what nutritional value does a Kitkat provide at 11am in the morning?)
“So here for personal reasons? Didn’t take you as a Furry Dr. Garcia.” Dr. Ellis says with a knowing smile that draws a chuckle from Joy. She withholds herself from flipping off the other doctor, and instead moves closer to stand next to Trinity.
“Just passing off some sustenance to ensure Dr. Santos doesn’t keel over from heat stroke.” She says cooly, passing over the tumbler to Trinity who puts down the chocolate bar and looks at it questioningly.
“Is this iced?” Trinity asks with a slight hopeful tone opening the cover.
“Yes, had to transfer it to survive the car ride over. Whitaker mentioned you might have crashed at the hospital so other than pastries, there’s also a bagel sandwich in the bag.” She says after Trinity places the tumbler down to grab the food.
“Oh. Uh thanks. Yeah I didn’t have breakfast…” She says and Garcia hates how she won’t look her in the eye. “I’ll eat this after a bit.”
“Might as well eat it now Dr. Santos. You don’t know when you’re going to be free next.” Dr. Ellis says.
“It’s surprising with how hot it is that you guys are getting a lot of foot traffic. I would have thought they’d prefer to stay indoors within the convention hall.” Yolanda asks looking around in confusion. Ellis replies with a deep sigh as Joy replies with a knowing smirk.
“Yeah you can definitely say we have a lot of foot traffic because they’re looking for something hot out here.” Joy says with a quick glance at Dr. Santos to which Garcia notices Trinity’s blush. She ignores the feeling in her stomach once again and nods in response.
“If that’s the case, can I talk to you?” She says only for Trinity to hear. Before Trinity can respond a voice rings out.
“Ohhhh Doctorrrrr Santoooossss, We’re in need of medical assistance here!” Both look up to see a group of three or so people approach the tent, removing their animal heads, the leader of the ring obviously checking out Trinity from head to toe.
“I’m sure Dr. Ellis or Student Dr. Kwon is able to assist-” Trinity begins to say.
“-But you assisted me last time Dr. Santos, and since you already know my history, wouldn’t it be easier for you to follow up and like… check me out? Have to be thorough right?” The ring leader says with a sickly sweet voice batting her eyes and Yolanda feels her eye twitch.
(Maybe she should have packed a few scalpels on hand.
For emergency field operations only, like Abbot of course.
Of course)
“Yup.” Trinity responds popping the “p” sounds with a sigh, looking over at Dr. Ellis for help who just smirks from her perch on the other stool. “You heard the girl Dr. Santos.” She says. Trinity just nods and looks at her once more.
“Today’s kind of busy, but if you want - maybe we can catch each other tomorrow?” Trinity says while reaching out to the box of gloves to glove up. And though Yolanda isn’t usually the patient type - preferring confrontation for the sake of efficiency, and not wanting things to linger- she doesn’t want the distance between them forming to the point of a chasm of no return. So she says something only a select few have heard from her mouth.
“I’m willing to wait.” She says, and maybe the look of incredulity Trinity shoots her shouldn’t hurt but she realizes given yesterday - it’s probably warranted.
(Cause you are worth the wait remains unsaid.
But in this case she hopes her actions will speak louder than her words).
“Your choice.” Trinity responds cooly, moving to see the patient.
As she moves to sit next to Dr. Ellis and Joy on the other side of the tent, by the hydration station, Dr. Ellis hands her a cup of water.
“Take a seat Dr. Garcia. It’s going to be quite the show.”
When Dr. Ellis mentioned “show”, she was under the impression that meant amusement stemming from the cases of ridiculousness heat can cause.
(Heat and delirium with furry costumes in the mix? She doesn’t judge anyone’s choice of past time but from an objective medical aspect, respectfully, this was a recipe for some ridiculousness for sure).
Turns out, the amusement the fellow resident was alluding to was just how many people would come to hit on Dr. Santos. In different states, and various (quite literal) fashions.
Within the next few hours alone, They’ve had to treat four cases of dehydration (two males who flexed about a successful career in IT and shot their shot respectively), two case of heat rash ( one from a male who shot his shot disrespectfully to which Dr. Ellis had to step in, being the Senior resident onsite assigned,), and one case of heat exhaustion from a female in a purple feline suit who fainted but upon regaining consciousness, asked if Trinity was an angel to bring her back from the brink (to which Yolanda couldn’t help the scoff the escaped her from across the tent).
(All of said attempts Dr. Santos respectfully declined, keeping a professional boundary).
(All while still not meeting her eye).
(Which was palpable by itself, but Ellis continues to throw jokes her way about the state of her molars given how clenched her jaw is).
She may be biased, but she also knows on an objective level how attractive Trinity is. And so when Joy then proceeds to tell fill her in that there is an estimated eighteen thousand gathering today - Yolanda wonders just how much more her patience will have to withstand before she snaps at the next person who hits on Trinity.
But overall it’s not a total waste. There are a few she also begins to help treat (to make herself useful), and she’s enjoys some conversations, especially two individuals who ended up being phlebotomists at Presby. Pleasant company and intriguing conversations aside, it is not enough to distract her concern at the rate Santos was going.
“Was it like this earlier?” Yolanda asked after Joy adds another tally to the whiteboard which Yolanda originally thought was to tally the total patients, but turns out they turned it into a scoreboard to see how many times each Doctor was hit on - Clearly Ahmad's influence of the betting pool reaching even the onsite medical tent.
(Honestly, the ED and their betting pool. Add the fact that Trinity is leading the score to which increased the growing knot in her stomach).
(Yolanda reminds her self to the aim is to be the embodiment of cool, calm and collected. In this heat, a feat she assures herself).
“No actually. This morning was pretty calm, given the cooler morning temperature but about an hour or so before you arrived, someone seemed to have recognized Dr. Santos, and asked if she was seeing anyone. They decided to leave their number and the amount of people who’ve approached the tent beyond actual medical attention has also multiplied since. You’d actually be surprised at how many people flock towards a dragon-“
(And so it seems like cool calm and collected also has a threshold)
“-Dr. Santos - A word?” She asks getting up from her seat, to which Trinity looks up from her chart and at Ellis for approval. Yolanda follows her gaze “Dr. Ellis, I think Dr. Santos is able to take that break now, right?” She says a bit firmly to which Dr. Ellis looks up from her patient with a knowing smirk.
“Feel Free. Santos take a beat - we’ll ward off your followers in the meantime.” She replies with a nod. With the approval Santos removes the vest, while Yolanda grabs the handle from the food bag and moves to the outlier of the tent.
“Lunch by the water?” She asks and Trinity can only chuckle.
“You mean late lunch?”
“Meal time is still meal time.”
“Lead the way.”
Given that the medical tent was so close to the Convention Center, they were lucky enough to be walking distance to the water. As Trinity lags a half step behind her, Yolanda makes sure to match her pace.
(And if she feels the urge to take Trinity’s hand as the eyes continue to trail after them as they walk- she taps into the last bits of self control she has to not stake claim).
Once they reach the bottom of the stairs, It seems that one look from Trinity at a group of wolves who take stock of her shirt give way to let them sit at the concrete steps facing the water. One even lets out a muffled “Love the dragon! Right on!” muffled compliment as they wave goodbye. Yolanda can only shake her head in fond exasperation as Trinity nods and waves back.
“So… really embracing the Dragon persona huh?” She says as Trinity sits down facing the water and leans back a bit to catch the shade.
“Technically I was told it’s a ‘fursona’, and I was told they were a welcoming community. I vaguely remember someone mentioning I needed to make more friends outside of work so with everything that happened yesterday - I figured why not be met with some kindness?” She said nonchalantly. At the reminder Yolanda can feel her own smile become strained. She removes the sandwich from the bag and hands it to her- along with the coffee that feels about only a quarter way done.
(A testament really to how busy they were).
“Eat up and caffeinate. I’d rather you not reach for another energy drink after yesterday to make up for whatever abysmal sleep you had.”
“Who says my sleep was abysmal?”
“Did you end up sleeping in an on call room or just a free bed in the ED?” She retorts taking a seat next to her as Trinity unravels the parchment paper.
“I plead the fifth.” She says taking a bite and letting out a satisfied groan, proving Yolanda’s point about her need for sustenance. A comfortable lull accompanies them as Trinity takes a few more bites. After about a minute or so, Trinity must have hit her second wind because she lets out a sigh.
“What are you doing here Yolanda?”
“I told you I was going to reach out today-“
“-I figured that meant tonight. You made it clear we’re just casual.”
“-No, you made it clear we were just casual.” At that Trinity just scoffs and looks down at her shoes kicking the gravel beneath.
“You asked me during our fight last week why should I care about your well-being if we’re just casual-“ Yolanda starts, turning her body to fully face Trinity who is still kicking the stones beneath her feet. “- you literally said verbatim ‘why should you care- we’re just casual right?-“
“-to which you clearly reminded me yesterday-“
“-because believe it or not- it hurt.” She says firmly and that causes Trinity to look up.
“You blew up at me for asking you about checking in with your Trauma counselor and all of a sudden I’m held at arm’s length, completely iced out.” She says and Trinity looks back out to the water. “Then without a word, you just reach out for what? Another hookup?” Trinity shakes her head and lets out a sigh. At Trinity’s silence, Yolanda continues, “-Trin, I know how we started, but let me remind you…there is nothing casual about you inviting me to live with you while my house was under renovation-“
“-Technically after my first shift I invited Whitaker to live with me-“ Trinity replies weakly to which she replies with a pointed look.
“-there’s nothing casual about sharing each other’s location because we’re concerned for each other’s safety-“
“-I know Krav Maga, and lets face it- you may be intimidating but without a sharp object in hand I question how you can defend yourself-“ at that Yolanda just reaches out to cradle Trinity’s face.
“Just let me finish-“ she says, thumbs going to the apple of her cheeks gently. “-we haven’t been casual in a long time…” She says taking in a breath, “-I’ll admit I was wrong to push you away yesterday because I was hurt. And I had to work through my feelings, but pushing you away was unjustified, fight or not-“ at that Trinity tries to move her gaze down, but in return she gently prompts her gaze back up. “-I made a mistake and I’m sorry“ at that, Trinity’s eyes look back up at hers “-I know. Miracles do happen right? Bask in it while you can.” She says with a chuckle, scooting closer to close the space between them.
“-I need you to know- at the end of the day, when everything was said and done, I just wanted you.”
“-I thought you met up with someone else… wanted someone else…“ Trinity says, and to that Yolanda just shakes her head.
“Just you.” She says with a small smile to reassure the R2. “And I know we’ve danced around this but I’m going to say it clearly so there is no room for misunderstanding.” She says moving so her eyes meet Trinity’s, “There is nothing casual about what I feel for you and I’m tired of trying to pretend otherwise. So I’ll be right here and I want to be here... if you’ll let me. And I’m asking… please let me.” She finishes gently and now it’s out in the open. Explicitly stated and for once, she feels vulnerable.
This isn’t her professional persona quantifying risk, this is her taking a chance.
“I’m still going to cause you trouble.” Trinity whispers in return, quiet, honest, and yet still broken. In response Yolanda leans her forehead to rest against hers.
“Oh babe- I count on it. But I like your brand of trouble. So what does that say about me?” She says with a chuckle, confident for the both of them.
“-I’m not sure it’s you’re going to find me worth it.” The younger woman says in return, and in response she kisses Trinity’s forehead.
“To to me you’re worth it.”
“I might miss more counselor appointments… I might mess up and fumble and lash out and-“
“And I’ll be patient.” At that Trinity leans back a bit to look at her “-I’m trying to be more patient.. for you. You’re the only exception… So long as we’re in this together right? Not against each other?” At that Trinity breaths out a chuckle and nods.
“-Yeah. Together…okay… and I’ll…I’ll try to be open.... I can work with together.” Trinity says.
“That’s all I ask. We don’t need to rush the rest…just don’t shut me out.” She says, and Trinity nods in response, moving forward to finally close the distance. And there it is, the closing of the gap, the sealing of the chasm and for the first time in the whole of today, (in the whole of this week) Yolanda feels like she can breathe a little easier.
It’s not a passionate kiss per se. Both had agreed they didn’t like public displays of affection (Trinity made it clear she didn’t like giving people a show), but it was grounding. Enough to say
I’m here.
I’m not going anywhere.
And even if it’s not a verbal declaration of love (yet), it definitely feels like the promise of one.
(And that makes her the exception. For once Yolanda is alright with not demanding speed, and going at Trinity’s pace. This healing is worth it. She’s worth it).
As Trinity pulls away, she leans back in for one more quick peck before letting out a sigh that seems to release all her previous tension before going back to the sandwich.
“So… you care enough to make sure your uh… girlfriend is fed huh.” She says with shy grin and cheeks full.
This dork.
Her dork.
“Yes, I clearly cared enough to brave a judgmental roommate, and the heat to make sure my girlfriend is eating well, yes.” She says with a smirk in return and kisses Trinity’s cheek. in response Trinity nods her head with trying to withhold a smile (and failing) before leans back in for another quick peck.
“Brave soul indeed.” Trinity says with a chuckle.
“Oh for sure. I clearly also braved furry-con for you.”
“-Anthrocon babe.” Trinity corrects. “Oh, shit - does this mean our anniversary falls on Anthrocon?” She says with that shit eating grin and Yolanda lets out another exasperated sigh and lovingly rolls her eyes. “Do you think we’ll have to integrate it as a couple tradition now?”
(Yolanda is sure they’ll have time to negotiate future holiday traditions - but for now - she’ll settle for enjoying the thought of anniversaries, traditions and all the words that indicate a future together, while kissing that smug grin off her girlfriend’s face).
“No but seriously, maybe we can ask around- do you think you’re also considered a dragon?”
“Just finish your food Trinity.”