Archive of Our Own

It all started on a gloomy October day when Will, who had been avoiding the rest of the party and shutting all of Mike’s attempts at talking for many unbearable weeks, suddenly asked to hang out like old times during the lunch break. Mike almost choked on his drink and caught a glimpse of the matching shocked expressions on Lucas and Dustin’s faces before ordering himself to get it together. If he didn’t want to spook Will away, he had to act as if nothing unordinary happened.

“Yes, sure,” Mike reacted first, schooling his face into a look of cool calmness accompanied with a friendly smile. Not too wide so he wouldn’t come across as some crazy ass freak who was about to start dancing at the simple prospect of playing games and watching shitty horror movies in a stuffy old basement, but it was close. Still, Mike thought he nailed it. Will didn’t seem creeped out by him – he looked nervous for some reason. Did he seriously think they would refuse to spend time with him? If so, it was completely ridiculous. Anyone in their right mind would never pass up the chance of getting even a smidge of attention from Will.

“Yeah, ‘course, Will! Great idea,” Lucas exclaimed next, obnoxiously loud and overexcited, nodding like an annoying bobblehead. He certainly needed to learn how to act natural – it was painful to watch.

“What they said,” Dustin agreed through a mouthful of food, ketchup smeared on his cheek and lettuce falling on his shirt from the action. Good thing his mother didn’t witness it.

“Dude. Eager much?” Mike curled his lips in disgust.

Dustin beamed in response, fluttering his eyelashes mockingly. “Can’t make Will wait too long, Mikey. Even when the answer is obvious.”

“Good. Just wanted to check anyway.” Will offered them a shy smile, placed his tray full of food on the table with a clang and sat down beside Lucas, once again avoiding his usual spot next to Mike like the plague. Mike tried to not show it on his face, but the deliberate choice still made him feel a gut-wrenching, sickening uneasiness.

What the hell is happening with you lately?

It wasn’t the first time Mike wanted to ask this exact question. Far from it. Just today he had restrained himself from blurting it out approximately on twenty other different occasions. And though Mike was dying to find out the reason for his best friend’s confusing behavior, he was never going to push so he held it in now, too. Will just needed time, space to breathe and figure out his shit without anyone’s nosy and suffocating presence. He always came around after. Maybe his suggestion was exactly that and Mike will get his answers soon enough. He really hoped it was the case and that everything would get back to normal right after the reveal of whatever was occupying Will’s mind – he couldn’t stomach the growing distance anymore.

Despite Mike’s promise that him and Will would be best friends again, nothing of the sort actually happened. Maybe just at first, but it all went downhill out of the blue only a few months later – barely two days before El dumped him for good – leaving Mike fruitlessly guess what could possibly cause the abrupt shift. Something unclear now stood tall between them, making his heart heavy and anxious. He tried to overcome it, tried to fix their quickly fading friendship but Will simply wouldn’t let him. They were living under the same roof for the last six months, yet it felt like they were separated by a hundred light-years. It had gotten so bad Mike began to lose sleep over it. And from the looks of it, Will didn’t cope much better.

“No need to check. I-” Mike coughed awkwardly, panic flaring up in his chest, “-we’ll always make time for you, right?” He threw a desperate glance at his friends in search of support. Lucas shook his head, snorting in amusement, and kept on chewing his burger, not bothering to back him up. Mike chose to ignore him. Fucking traitor. Fortunately, Dustin – the better friend – decided to save him from this blatant humiliation.

“Yes, it’s a no-brainer, Will. Especially now. I think we all need a normal evening for once.”

“Don’t know about normal,” Will mumbled, fidgeting with a straw from his apple juice box nervously. “I actually wanted to tell you guys something.”

Mike straightened immediately. “Is it-” he trailed off, leaning down a bit to finish the sentence in a whisper. “Is it about him?”

“Yeah, should we be worried?” Lucas joined him, gulping lightly and knitting his eyebrows in concern.

Will’s eyes widened. “No!” He reassured them quickly. “No, nothing bad, I hope. No need to worry. It’s- it’s a me-thing, not a Vecna-thing.”

Lucas and Dustin exchanged fleeting glances, looking intrigued by the secrecy. Mike felt dizzy from awoken hope. Will was finally going to open up.

“Oh, okay,” Lucas said softly, squeezing Will’s shoulder. Mike narrowed his eyes warningly at the gesture and Lucas pulled away immediately as if his hand got burned. Will frowned at that, watching them carefully, but didn’t say anything. “Looking forward to it then,” Lucas added with an awkward grin, trying to smooth out the sudden tension.

“Yeah,” Mike nodded tersely, forcing a faint smile, his mind racing a mile a minute. Just a few more hours. “Me too.”

It was all he could think about for the rest of the day. His lessons dragged on for what felt like centuries and if somebody were to ask him what he had actually learned today he wouldn’t be able to form a single coherent thought. He was lucky he got through them at all. At literature – his favorite lesson, mind you – he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the ticking clock, counting every second, begging the time to go faster, his leg bouncing under the desk from the burning anticipation of discovering Will’s guarded huge secret.

Before their big summer fight a year ago, they never hid anything from each other, shared every silly thought they had, every small insecurity, every bone-chilling fear. Always open and honest, lying shoulder to shoulder and whispering under the cover of the night when nobody else could hear them. It changed now, obviously. Will closed off after that day, learned to be more careful with words around him, stopped letting him in so freely. Mike hated it so much he wanted to rip his own skin off. He wished they could go back to this unconditional trust but he had no right to be that selfish. Not when it was his fault they lost it in the first place. He was the one who broke their bond and blew everything over by carelessly throwing one of Will’s biggest worries in his face, hurting him terribly in the process. Mike still regretted it, cursing his past-self for ruining the best thing in his life, yet couldn’t find the courage to bring it up and apologize. He knew he needed to do that sooner rather than later if he wanted to save the remaining pieces of their damaged relationship, but his stupid cowardness got the best of him every time he opened his mouth to speak.

Will was always much braver than him. He never hesitated to call out someone’s wrongdoings if he believed it was the right thing to do and would mend the parts that were slacking or falling apart. Mike had experienced it firsthand twice or thrice already but he didn’t once mind the criticism because he was well-aware that he deserved it. And it actually helped. The guilt Mike felt afterwards made him stop wallow in self-pity and be better. Or at least try. He was still learning. That’s why Mike knew that this time he had to step up without Will’s nudges in the right direction. He saw the problem clear as day and he was going to solve it. Mike had no other option. Will deserved to be treated right. That, and… He was too good to lose. Mike couldn’t let it happen. He would never be able to forgive himself if he did.

The evening came unhurriedly, taking its sweet time, making Mike lose his mind by the minute. It was torture he wasn’t fully prepared for. Why did Will have to mention the upcoming news? Was it his calculatedly built revenge? Did he want to make Mike suffer for his ignorant mistakes? If so, it worked better than Will could’ve expected. Mike was practically dying in his room, head interchangeably full of static or myriads of guesses of the possible things Will was planning to bring out to the light.

He was so lost in his head he almost missed the ringing of the doorbell. Once the sound registered, Mike jumped out of his unmade bed, almost landing straight on his face in a hurry, left the room and flew down the stairs, waving eagerly at Lucas and Dustin who had already been let in by his mother.

“Long time no see, Mike,” Lucas greeted him with a weird chuckle, visibly thrown off by his overflow of enthusiasm. “Where’s Will?” He asked next, impatient, looking over Mike’s shoulder as if he expected for Will to appear out of thin air behind him.

“He’s in the basement, I think.” At least he was there the last time Mike checked discreetly. He didn’t say it out loud, though, because he knew how creepy it would sound. And Mike wasn’t a creep. He, like a good caring friend, just wanted to make sure that Will wasn’t kidnapped or possessed and Mike wasn’t in the mood to explain their predicament. Not that he could ever be in the mood for that. It was his and Will’s business only.

Dustin furrowed his eyebrows questioningly. “Why aren’t you with him?”

Mike’s brain went blank for a long second before he caught up to the actual meaning of the question. Not the one he thought of first. Of course it wasn’t that. So stupid. Why would Dustin even ask him the other thing? Why did Mike misunderstand it at all?

“Uhh, I-I was-” Mike stuttered, trying to come up with something logical and unsuspicious rapidly. “I didn’t want to impose, I guess,” he finished, lame, berating himself inwardly. Impose? Seriously? “He needed to be alone clearly.”

Lucas bit his cheek, frowning a little. “What do you think he wants to tell us? He was so nervous at lunch.”

“I have no idea,” Dustin replied first, saving Mike from saying something incriminating. Not that he had anything to hide from them, just… He could be weird about Will at times. “He’s been acting so strange lately. Hope it really isn’t anything bad.”

“What if…” Lucas trailed off, contemplating something while chewing his bottom lip. “Do you think he started dating somebody?”

Dustin lit up immediately. “I didn’t even think of that! It would explain why he’s been ditching us.”

Mike felt a strange pang in his chest, not thrilled with that hypothesis. Could it be the case? Was Will sneaking out with some boring nameless girl?

Hell, no. It was Will. Yes, he was always quite popular with the girls, more than him or Dustin or even Lucas in his prime, but Will never showed any interest in having relationships with his secret and not so secret admirers. So, it was safe to assume that he wouldn’t suddenly start dating someone he barely knew.

Or would he? What if Will changed so much that Mike didn’t know him at all now? What if he already had a relationship in California and he liked it well enough to decide to find a new girlfriend here? What if it was a rebound because his previous girl hurt him?

Oh my God. Of course, that what happened. He was heartbroken. It would explain why Will was sulking for the last few months, why he distanced himself from everyone. How could not Mike see that? How could he be so self-absorbed and blind while his best friend was hurting right under his nose? Mike was such a horrible friend. The worst in history.

While he internally judged himself for being absent when his best friend needed him the most, Lucas and Dustin already began to deduce what girl Will could be going out with. And, ew. Mike didn’t want to hear it, not even if someone paid him to do that.

“We can find out the real secret if we just go down there, you know,” Mike scoffed, indignant. He still refused to believe that Will was falling in love with someone else. Wait. The hell was he thinking? Just someone. Without else. “I doubt he’s dating any of the stupid girls you mentioned. They’re definitely not his type.”

Yeah, and Mike definitely had to shut the hell up.

“You okay, Mike?” Dustin asked, visibly perplexed by his sharp outburst. “We were mostly joking.”

“Yeah, you need to chill.”

“I just don’t like that you discuss Will’s love life behind his back. Not cool, guys,” Mike lied shamelessly in order to save his dignity. Judging by his friends’ unimpressed faces, he didn’t manage to execute it in his favor, but at least he tried.

“You make it a bigger deal than it is, but okay. Let’s go.” Lucas rolled his eyes and headed to the basement with Dustin right on his tail.

Mike exhaled, collecting himself quickly. Will needed him at his best, not at his easily irritated worst. Mike had to listen to him and had to support him no matter what. So, he will do just that. (Except if his best friend was dating annoying Jennifer Hayes. Mike would rather kiss a fucking Demogorgon than pretend to be happy about Will’s relationship with that fake crier.)

Mike descended the stairs, feeling like he was about to either throw up or be publicly decapitated, and tried to calm his erratic breathing with each heavy-lifted step he did. Dustin and Will were already sitting on the ancient dirty couch, talking casually with Lucas perched on the armrest, all three acting as if nothing was out of the sorts. Yet, Mike saw through everyone’s bullshit – mainly the one’s, who mattered the most, of course. He instantly noticed the concerning pallor in Will’s cheeks instead of permanent adorable pink he was used to see; the way Will was looking around, barely focusing on anything; the whiteness in his fingers that were pinching the fabric of his dark red trousers and the slight tremble of his bitten lower lip that occurred every few words. Mike knew all the important indicators like the back of his hand and the sight of them always made his heart clench painfully in his chest. Usually he would do something without hesitation – drape his arm over his best friend’s shoulder, pat his back gently, hug tightly if needed, say anything reassuring – but now it seemed like he lost the right to touch him so he swallowed the overwhelming urge to comfort Will and just made his presence known by clearing his throat lightly.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting,” he apologized awkwardly, feeling out of place under the intense stares of his friends. Lucas even raised his eyebrows, clear astonishment written on his face.

“Did he just?” He whispered to Dustin, nudging him with his elbow.

“Yeah. Yeah, he did,” Dustin replied, equally stunned.

What was that even about? Weirdos.

“It’s okay,” Will mumbled, drawing Mike’s attention away instantly and averting his eyes once Mike looked at him in return. It was so wrong, so not them, that Mike wanted to scream, begging Will to stop hiding from him, to find their ways back to each other in this maddening crisis. He knew it would be pathetic, but he was willing to sacrifice his dignity if it made his best friend forgive him. “I needed a reprieve anyway.”

Mike nodded, shifting from foot to foot. “Okay.”

“Why are you standing there like an idiot?” Lucas asked him, annoyance slipping through his voice. “Sit already.”

Mike hated to be put on spot like that. “I was going to,” he snapped, shuffling to the couch and sitting down on the edge of it, sheepish and careful, leaving a mindful gap between him and Will as he didn’t want to make his best friend uncomfortable by being too close. Will tensed anyway, peeking at Mike sideways and curling in himself a bit.

“Maybe- maybe we should switch places, Mike. I want to see all three of you when I- well,” Will went quiet, waving his hands vaguely. “You know.”

“Okay, of course, sorry.” Mike hopped up from the couch, taking Will’s previous spot as Will settled on the armrest instead.

“So… I don’t know where to start, to be honest,” Will murmured then, his voice and hands shaking.

“Take your time.”

“Yes, you don’t need to rush, Will,” Dustin said, smiling encouragingly. “We’re here for you.”

Mike couldn’t utter a single word, too afraid of saying the wrong thing before Will even had the chance to make his confession. Are you in love? Mike wanted to cry out. Who is she? Why did you choose her? Is she pretty? You don’t need to date just for the sake of dating, Will. Nothing good comes from it, believe me. Do I speak from experience? Yes, I do. Dump her. She doesn’t deserve you. All you need is a good-old best friend.

“I-I’m just- God,” Will grunted, scared still but also frustrated now, hiding his face in his hands. “Why is it so difficult? I’ve been sitting on it for months, maybe even years. I thought I was finally ready. I felt ready twenty minutes ago, rehearsing the words over and over. And what now?” He laughed bitterly. “All of that just to chicken out at the last second? I’m such a coward.”

Mike frowned at that, parting his mouth, ready to reassure Will, but Lucas beat him to it. Again. “Nothing you say will change how we feel about you, Will. Don’t be so harsh on yourself.”

Will smiled at Lucas gently, his eyes softening in sheer gratitude. Mike pursed his lips, seething inside. He was supposed to get that reaction, not fucking Lucas who stole Mike’s words.

“I know it in my heart, but it’s still terrifying. My brain keeps telling me that it can ruin everything and I don’t want to lose any of you just because I-” Will paused, taking a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut. Well, Mike was getting genuinely worried now. It didn’t sound like Will was trying to tell them about a secret girlfriend. No. It was something different entirely. “I couldn’t admit it to myself for a long time, was hoping it would go away eventually but it didn’t. I pretended like it wasn’t there, this damaged part of me I couldn’t change, couldn’t get rid of, couldn’t fix. Until it became bigger than me. Suddenly it was all I could see and I was so- so ashamed,” Will sniffled, wringing his hands while Mike was staring at him, transfixed and barely breathing. What was he getting at? What Will could be possibly ashamed of? He was perfect. “I knew then that I had to face it, had to stop hiding from it. So, I worked on it. By myself. Being away in California actually helped a lot. I finally accepted the truth there, realized that I didn’t need to be fixed because I wasn’t damaged, wasn’t- wasn’t wrong. It’s just me. And it’s okay, even though I sometimes still feel like it’s not. That’s why I want to share it with you. I don’t want to be alone in it anymore.” Will looked at them one by one, determined, before he announced fiercely, “I’m gay.”

The room fell completely silent after that, no sound except for their collective breathing and muffled TV noises from upstairs. Mike’s brain short-circuited, leaving him gaping at Will, frozen in shock. Did he hear him right? Mike really needed someone to confirm it to him. Right now, preferably. Before he actually passed out.

Mike didn’t even flinch when Lucas stood up sharply and exclaimed, “Oh my God, Will!” He approached Will in two short strides and smothered him in a tight hug, almost knocking him over. “I always knew you were the bravest out of all of us but you really needed to prove it to me again, didn’t you?” Will giggled sheepishly at that, tightening his hold on Lucas’s back.

“Thank you for trusting us with it, Will.” Dustin got up next, joining in the hug with a genuine smile. “I’ll be honest with you… I- I don’t understand it fully. I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been to come to terms with. But you’ll never lose me as a friend – I promise you that.”

“Yeah?” Will’s breath hitched. “You do?”

“Of course, Will. I love you,” Dustin sputtered as soon as he said it, correcting himself hastily, “Not in that sense but I really do. You’re one of my greatest friends. It’ll never change. Never. Not unless you kill someone – that can totally be a dealbreaker,” he chuckled at his own joke, leaning away from the hug. “Depends on the circumstances.”

“Don’t forget to add me to this sappy equation,” Lucas said, his wide grin fading slowly when his gaze slid over to Mike who was sitting still behind them. “We should add you too, right, Mike?” He asked him pointedly, a furious threat settling in his features. Do something, dumbass, it screamed clearly. How did Mike manage to start letting Will down already? Why could everyone around him be normal while he was glitching so bad he wasn’t able to do anything but look stupid?

Mike unfroze finally, standing up as if he was set on fire by Lucas’s glaring alone. Will gazed at him from underneath his lashes, apprehensive and waiting, shoulders slumping like he was embracing himself for a hateful rejection, not a loving support. “How fucking dare you?” Mike gasped dramatically, trying his best to act as though his world didn’t tilt on its axis by Will’s mind-numbing confession. “I’m supposed to be the first on the list, not a feeble afterthought addition,” he continued, aiming for offended, making Will chuckle lightly and easing the tension he’d had successfully. “Now move. I want a personal hug, not this sweaty pile with you idiots.”

Lucas and Dustin feigned discontent but complied, clearing the path for him to get to Will and giving them privacy by walking away to the TV. Mike smiled, soft and sincere, and Will mirrored him, fully relaxing once he got wrapped in a firm hold. It felt like coming home instantly.

“I’m sorry it took me a minute to react properly,” Mike half-whispered close to Will’s ear, contrite. “I didn’t expect to hear it at all but I want you to know that it makes you even more perfect in my eyes. I’m in awe of you, Will. You’re so, so good. And you can always count on me, okay? I’ll never leave your side as long as you need me.”

Will sniffled and burrowed his face in the crook of Mike’s neck to muffle it. “Thank you, Mike. I really appreciate it.”

Right in that moment Mike knew he couldn’t postpone the apology anymore. Not when it possibly hurt Will more than he realized.

It’s not my fault you don’t like girls.

Technically, it wasn’t, but Mike was wrong for implying that there could be anyone’s fault at all. Fault meant bad and there was nothing bad about Will. Never will be.

“Can we talk more later? When Lucas and Dustin go home?”

“Yes,” Will leaned back a bit, nodding enthusiastically, his eyes teary but swimming with bright hopefulness. He was so beautiful it took Mike’s breath away. “Yes, of course we can.”

Their faces stayed just a few inches away and Mike found himself staring at Will – his sparkling hazel eyes, his cutely flushed, wet cheeks and chapped red lips that were so enticing it seemed blasphemous not to kiss them. The warm yet frightening giddiness spread over Mike unexpectedly, melting his insides into pleasant goo.

I love you.

The thought hit Mike like a freight train and he jerked away from Will, dropping his arms by his sides, cold panic replacing dreaminess in a flash.

“You- you okay?” Will stuttered, looking hurt and bewildered. Abort, fucking abort.

“Yeah, sorry, just lost my footing,” Mike stumbled over the excuse quickly. He couldn’t see himself but he probably looked crazy. He didn’t lose his footing; he lost his fucking mind.

“Oh, okay.” Will didn’t seem convinced by his reasoning but he let it slide, thankfully. “I think we better get going before Lucas chooses something lame to watch.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Mike agreed, forcing a laugh. Too loud, idiot.

Will glanced at him one last time, lips pursed and forehead creased, and headed towards their friends who were actively bickering over VHS-tapes scattered all over the floor. Mike followed him with his gaze, dread brewing under his skin. Usually he wasn’t the one to run but now it took everything in him not to flee away somewhere far from here.

Holy shit. Mike was royally screwed.

♡ ♡ ♡

Figuring out your non-platonic feelings for your best friend on a random Wednesday evening right after said best friend came out to you and your mutual friends was, to put it lightly, grueling.

Wait, no. Loving Will was incredible. Terrifying but amazing, nonetheless. The feelings were always there, so finally acknowledging them was freeing. (He had a panic attack the same night. And the night after that. And two more the next day. But yeah. Freeing.) The grueling part was finding out that Will had the fattest crush on somebody already. He didn’t say on who exactly but Mike was pretty sure it couldn’t be him. Never in a million years. Not when there was lovely, dream-like Lucas to compare him to.

For his own sanity, Mike preferred to pretend there was no one Will was infatuated with at all. Will didn’t actually admit to having feelings to someone. Not out loud, at least. They just made an assumption based on the way he’d got red at alarming rate when asked directly. It happened during the movie none of them actually watched – Mike was too busy thinking about his embarrassing fumble of realizing the reason to his previously inexplicable fondness and special treatment towards Will while Lucas and Dustin, as it turned out, were more interested in bombarding poor guy with sheepish and intimate questions than paying attention to what was happening on the screen at that moment. Will was the only one who at least tried to focus on the plot but he gave up rather quickly, not being strong enough to ignore their genuine curiosity, and started answering the inquiries selectively, suppressing his amused exasperation. When the current crush question was inevitably brought up, Mike quirked up immediately, heart in his throat, gazing over at pink-cheeked Will and awaiting his response with bated breath. Wouldn’t you like to know? Will said, teasing and bashful at the same time, a secretive grin tugging at his lips. You wish, fools! I’m planning to take this secret to the grave. He then crushed their hopes with a bright, devilishly evil – but not exactly, Mike was exaggerating a little, of course – laugh, throwing the heaps of popcorn at their appalled faces. And that was that. No textbook confirmation. For all he knew, Will could be just messing with them.

Who was Mike kidding? Of course it meant there was someone. Anything else was just foolish coping, desperate denying of the reality he didn’t want to accept. So, coming to terms with that, Mike had to find out who Will’s crush was. Strictly for protective best friend purposes, obviously. He needed to make sure that this guy – whoever he was – was suitable for Will, was worthy of him. If it was one of the jocks with their toned muscles and stupid-looking faces, Mike was obliged by the Universe itself to knock sense into Will and help him to get over that douchebag. If it was some boring guy from his art class, that snake could become jealous of Will’s talent and steal his immaculate work to gain fame. It was a real concern. Come to think of it, no one at school deserved Will’s heart. Hell, nobody in Hawkins did. That’s why Mike had to make his best friend aware of all the probable threats, the ones Will wouldn’t notice through his rose-tinted glasses. It was a responsible job and a heroic sacrifice all at once. Because as soon as the chosen guy would meet Mike’s high requirements, he would have to let go of Will. Watch him being happy with someone else from the sidelines and keep being his best friend only. Never dream of more.

Once Mike’s mission was established, he began to observe. Not to spy, but to collect substantial evidence. Be more attentive to details. Who Will checked out longingly during lessons, who he laughed with, loud and vibrant, whose features he drew absentmindedly in the margins of his notebooks, whose name he constantly mentioned with a spark in his eyes – little things that could tip Mike off about the identity of Will’s dream guy.

At first, there were none. Nothing in particular stood out to Mike, except for a few appreciative glances Will threw at some boys that were passing them by in the school halls. But it was normal. Mike was sure Will had already done it before he told them about his preferences, they just didn’t think to look for it. Plus, Will never lingered on any of those guys, so they were most definitely just a fleeting thought for him, not actual love interests. But a week or so later, as soon as Mike started to think that Will didn’t like anyone for real, he finally noticed a shift.

And not where he expected.

It started out small and innocent, could easily pass up as accidents or simple friend gestures to outsiders, and Mike didn’t consider it to be anything meaningful for the first few instances, either – even the thought of that was laughable – but he was wrong. Dead wrong. Because it literally killed him once he witnessed it with his own two eyes.

And no, Mike wasn’t overdramatic. He was underdramatic. Did that word even exist? Probably didn’t. Just like him from that horrible, heart-wrenching moment.

His premature death happened when Mike finally found some guts to have a promised talk with Will. It’d been days already but Mike had a reasonable excuse this time – getting used to the thought of not ever having a relationship with your favorite person in the whole world wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. He needed to prepare first. Mentally. Mike couldn’t cry during their conversation or beg Will to love him and he knew he would start sobbing like a fool from the get-go so he waited. And then he got tired of waiting. Or more like stopped pretending that he wouldn’t humiliate himself in front of Will someday. It was wishful thinking so Mike decided to rip the band-aid off – better to do it now before Will grew overly suspicious and got the wrong idea.

Mike was going to catch him after school and offer to go to Lover’s lake – yes, he was smooth like that – but Mike’s last lesson ran late so Will’s bike wasn’t in his usual spot by the time he finally got out. Non-deterred, he hopped on his bicycle and pedaled home rapidly, afraid of losing his nerve, wind whistling in his ears and legs burning from the sharp exertion.

His neighborhood came into view in record time and Mike started to rehearse the apology in his head even before he got to his house. As he rode closer and saw them, laughing happily in the light of day without a care in the world besides each other, his heart flatlined. Just for a second, but it certainly did. He felt it.

He wished he hadn’t.

No other than Lucas erased the remaining distance and pulled Will in a tight, heartfelt hug, whispering something in Will’s ear just like Mike did only last week. Mike’s chest caved in at the sight and he almost fell off his bike as his trembling hands lost control of the handlebars momentarily. He slowed down a bit. Was it what Mike thought it was or was he seeing things? They seemed pretty cozy, that was for sure. Will melted in Lucas’s arms like he actually enjoyed being held by him and none of them rushed to break the embrace, even though any nosy neighbors could’ve seen them. It’s dangerous to stand in the open like that, Mike wanted to remind them begrudgingly. Not because of the blatant jealousy he felt, he was just worried. About Will, mainly.

And just then he remembered why the thought of them together was laughable in the first place.

Max.

How could Lucas betray her like that? Did he stop loving her? Had he always been in love with Will? Did he just use Max to forget about him and now, when there was a chance to pursue a relationship with Will, confessed his buried feelings?

That was unfathomable.

Will finally pulled away after a few more seconds or so – although it felt like a torturous eternity to Mike – and headed to the house as Lucas shouted something to him, making Will chuckle amusingly. Lucas grinned, smug with himself, climbed on his bike and took off in the opposite direction.

Neither of them caught sight of Mike and he was thankful for that. It would’ve been so embarrassing – talking to them, explaining why he just stood there dumbly, watching their interaction like a hawk instead of walking over. He was sure he wouldn’t have been able to sound anything but accusing and bitter.

Mike knew that it wasn’t a competition and Will wasn’t some prize he had to fight for but it still felt like he lost. And he hated himself for that. Will deserved better. Mike had to learn to keep his overflowing emotions in check before it blew up in his face and ruined everything. Or rather what was still left.

If there was anything left.

That’s why Mike couldn’t talk to Will today – he would certainly blurt out something about Lucas without meaning to. He needed to watch first, make sure it wasn’t his foggy brain’s made-up scenarios and then think how to better approach this tricky situation.

With that, Mike sighed, dejected and upset, and walked the rest of the way, pushing his bike over to the garage and dropping it unceremoniously by the wall, next to Will’s one. He turned away from it, sharp, proceeding to the front door.

For what it’s worth, Will was still living in his house, not staying at disloyal Sinclair’s.

♡ ♡ ♡

After that awful discovery their tight-knit unit was all Mike could see. Lucas and Will became practically inseparable, always attached at the hip – at school, at lunch, hunched close to each other, giggling at some stupid jokes they never bothered to share with others; at the movie nights, constantly gossiping and exchanging secretive smiles like they were in their own little world that nobody else had access to, Will’s head finding its place on Lucas’s shoulder when sleep eventually overcame him; at any other group gathering, drifting to one another unconsciously, hugging in greeting and before parting ways as though they would die if they didn’t.

Mike wasn’t the only one who saw it. Dustin took a notice of their open affection right off the bat, too, and decided that it would be hilarious to start referring to them as lovebirds, making Mike sick to his stomach every time he heard it. Because they didn’t just get close. Will and Lucas steadily grew into a new version of Will and Mike, becoming a constant reminder of what Mike once had. What he lost. Seeing that every day was killing him. Slowly and mercilessly. He was going out of his mind, sulking and fuming silently, trying to appear normal but it was a hard fight. Fight he was losing miserably.

His mild depression didn’t escape Dustin’s notice either, so it was no surprise when he finally spoke up two weeks later.

“Are you okay, Mike?” He asked hesitantly when Lucas and Will went god knows where. For snacks, probably. The four of them were going to watch yet another scary movie, setting the mood for upcoming Halloween – more for semblance of normalcy rather than appeasing the real urge of celebrating the holiday. Mike didn’t even know what they’d picked.

“Yes, I am,” Mike gritted, already feeling defensive. Why did everyone always ask him that? Was he that transparent with his feelings? Could they sense his jealousy? His self-hatred? His burning, barely contained desire to choke Lucas because he stole Mike’s place in Will’s life? “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just… You’ve been awfully quiet lately. Is it- is it because of Will?”

Oh my God. He knew. He knew that Mike- that he-

“Are you… a homophobe?” Dustin whispered with widened eyes, stuttering mid-sentence.

“What?” Mike shouted accidentally, affronted by the mere suggestion. “Of course I’m not!”

Had Mike ever found himself gross? Yes, on more than a few occasions. But he couldn’t be grossed out by any part of Will even if he tried.

Yet it didn’t stop you from saying some hurtful ignorant shit.

“Because I can help you with that. I didn’t act the best myself – Lucas chewed me out for it afterwards. I mean, not in that sense? Seriously? Did I really need to clear that up? So, yeah. I did a lot of research after that and talked to Will some more, you know, made sure I didn’t hurt his feelings – which I didn’t, thank God, but Will is a saint, he’s too forgiving, man,” Dustin shook his head, fond, and then frowned. “What was it I was getting at? Uh, right. If you have some trouble dealing with your prejudices, I can educate you about this whole queerness thing. But be prepared, there’s a lot.”

“God, Dustin! I don’t hate gays!” I’m one of them, he almost added but stopped the words from getting out at the last second, choking on the lump they formed in his throat.

“Then what’s happening to you? Why are you so mad all the time?”

“It’s- it’s nothing, Dustin. Just in a mood. It’ll pass,” Mike tried to shrug him off.

To his chagrin, Dustin wasn’t having any of it. “Bullshit,” he spat out, crossing his arms. This stubborn ass.

“Why don’t you just drop it?”

“Because you’re my friend and I want to help!”

The fight left Mike in an instant and his mouth started blabbering on its own before he could prevent it. “It used to be me and Will, okay? And now suddenly it’s Lucas and him and I don’t like it,” he admitted, reluctantly. Saying that aloud felt like eating glass – not that Mike had ever eaten glass but he could imagine. Seemed quite fitting somehow. But even with that he kept on suffering. Was he really that desperate to get this off his chest? “I miss him so much. But I fucked up and fucked up again and didn’t apologize properly for fucking up the first time. Of course he replaced me with someone who didn’t hurt him like I did. He for sure hates me now.”

“Hey, no, Mike. That’s ridiculous. Stop with the dramatics.” Dustin pressed his lips together, thinking over what he’d heard just now. “I don’t know what exactly you’ve done but I’m sure you can still fix it. You’re one of his closest friends, it never changed. It’s normal to have fights from time to time. Everyone does. Just talk to him. Explain everything.”

“Easier said than done,” Mike groaned, leaning back on the couch and glaring up at the ceiling like it personally offended him. “I wanted to talk the other day but…” he fell silent, contemplating if he should mention the interaction he’d witnessed and decided against it. It was too telling. “But I chickened out. And now I think it’s too late already.”

“It’s never too late. Just man up, Mike. Your whining won’t make it better. You have to take action.”

Mike scowled, unconvinced. “And what if it doesn’t work? What if he doesn’t listen to me at all? What then, Dustin? I need him to take me back. I can’t not be with him like Lucas is anymore.”

When Dustin hadn’t said a thing for one second too long, Mike went rigid, pondering what could possibly cause that, and turned to his friend, not expecting to find him in a surprised stupor.

Feeling self-conscious under Dustin’s inspecting and slightly knowing gaze, he shifted a bit. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Mike demanded, baffled by his loud silence.

“Take you back?” Dustin finally spoke, smirking as if he made the world’s greatest discovery. Mike immediately promised himself not to open his traitorous mouth ever again. Fuck. Why didn’t he shut up while he still could? “Be with him? Mike, why do you act like you two broke up?”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“What?” Mike chuckled awkwardly, aiming at oblivious but missing by a good mile. His nervousness got through the crack of his voice, making him appear pathetic and stupid. “What do you mean?”

Dustin was too smart to buy it. “You know exactly what I mean.”

“No, I don’t,” Mike argued anyway. He wasn’t going to step down – he’d rather bury himself alive than feed Dustin’s massive ego.

“Normal friends don’t talk that way, that’s all I’m saying.”

“They do!”

“You’re just lying to yourself, Mike,” Dustin countered with a quiet sympathy in his softened tone. The change in approach was so sudden Mike almost had a whiplash. “You were never normal about each other and I think you know it deep down. Accept the truth.” Already done it, thank you, Mike thought, fuming inside. He didn’t plan to be stripped bare today. Hated to be exposed to others in a way he couldn’t control.

“You’re wrong, Dustin. It isn’t like that.”

“Okay,” Dustin sighed deeply, finally giving up. “I won’t press you anymore. But if you ever need to talk about it, you can always come to me. Remember that.”

The sentiment was appreciated but Mike doubted he would willingly put himself in that vulnerable position ever again. Certainly not with Dustin – he felt like a frog that got dissected now so he wasn’t thrilled, not even a little bit, at the prospect of repeating such unpleasant experience in the future.

Mike nodded in acknowledgement anyway and turned away, his shoulders barely untensing. Will and Lucas should’ve come back already. What the hell was taking them so long? Had they abandoned them to go on a date instead? Were they making out somewhere in the house right this second?

If so, Mike couldn’t sit here and do nothing.

“I’ll go check where Lucas and Will are,” he announced, already halfway to the door, skipping two steps at a time and ignoring the knowing snort that came from Dustin. Mike will deal with it later. Now he needed to intervene while he still had the chance to save their lately fragile group from this hazardous romance that could split them beyond reparation. If El and Dustin knew what was happening, they would support him wholeheartedly. They loved Max too much to turn a blind eye to this atrocious act of betrayal. What was Will even thinking? It wasn’t like him at all. Had he got possessed again? Was it Vecna’s evil masterplan to sow enmity between them, to weaken their bond so they wouldn’t be able to stop him?

Oh my God. Of course that what was happening. How could Mike not see it before? How could he be so blind again?

Lucas would never treat Max with disrespect, he was loyal to a fault. And Will. Precious, honest Will would never hurt any of his friends on purpose. He wasn’t malicious. He was the kindest soul, the purest.

Mike had to take matters into his own hands, starting with the thorough investigation – nobody would believe him if he didn’t have anything concrete to corroborate his claims. Hopefully, they’ll manage to come out on top with minimal losses. They’d paid too much already. It was time to strike back.

As Mike got close to the basement door, he registered familiar hushed voices coming from the kitchen which made him stop for a split second, debating whether he should catch Will and Lucas off guard or act more inconspicuously. Choosing the latter, Mike opened the door slightly, begging all the mighty gods for it not to squeak and give his flat ass away, and peeked out, finding his friends’ backs without any problem.

“You know how difficult it was for me to say the truth about myself the first time, Lucas. I just can’t now, we have more important things to worry about,” Will sighed, dropping his head forward and gripping the edge of the countertop with his hands, his knuckles whitened. Lucas closed the distance between them, their arms brushing, and stroked Will’s back gently, relaxing him expertly like he’d done it a thousand times by now.

“Yes, I get it, sorry,” he murmured apologetically – Mike had to strain his ears to make out what he was saying – and left his hand to rest on Will’s shoulder. Mike inhaled sharply, his heart burning from a strong desire to peel this leech off of Will, but he stayed put, reminding himself, as if reciting a mantra, that he needed to ensure everyone’s safety first and foremost. “No pressure, remember? It’s your call, Will. I’ll have your back even if you decide to keep this a secret.”

What this? Their blossoming behind-closed-doors affair? Fuck. All those weeks Mike couldn’t help but cling to forlorn hope that he’d somehow misread the situation, only for it to become an undeniable reality.

“God, you’re the best, Lucas. I love you so much, you know that?” Will said, turning to Lucas with the sweetest of smiles and slightly red cheeks.

Mike swallowed the bile that threatened to spill out and barely held himself back from hitting his head repeatedly in hopes of getting heavenly amnesia or cracking his skull open. He’d never heard anything more disgusting and painful before. God, why did he have to fall victim to such vicious trauma?

“Yeah, yeah,” Lucas laughed happily, squeezing Will in a side-hug. “I love you too, dork.”

Hearing that was at least thousand times worse. Vecna could curse him right now, Mike literally didn’t care anymore. He was ready to end his suffering – enough to accept any gruesome fate over living with this awful memory.

Mike shut the door quietly, closing his eyes and breathing laboriously. He wasn’t going to cry, but one stubborn tear slid down his face against his will and stopped near his chin, leaving a wet trace behind. Mike rubbed his cheek roughly. He had to be stronger than that. Vecna wanted Mike to feel broken, to hurt him to a point of no return – it was an obvious trap and Mike was too clever to fall into it. He planned to play by his own rules so giving up before he even started making his moves was out of the question.

The remainder of the evening was spent on a new special mission. Mike’s studying eyes didn’t leave Will for a second, tracing every curl of lips, every crease, every puff of breath and storing them away for future references. Always on alert, never distracted. (Well. Almost never. Mike knew there was no need to stare at Will’s lips for longer than three seconds at a time but the pull was too strong to resist. It wasn’t strictly on him – they just looked so soft and pink and kissable and Mike wished he could taste them. He was a weak, weak boy.) He continued to inspect his friend like the finest art in a gallery, hoping to catch alarming signs of possession, even after Will felt his piercing gaze and threw him a few questioning glances, squirming in his seat uncomfortably and failing to concentrate on some movie Mike still didn’t give a single shit about.

“What?” Will whispered, exasperated, the blush on his cheeks barely visible in the light of TV. “Is there something on my face?”

Mike shook his head, feeling the telling heat in his own cheeks and dropping his gaze, embarrassed. After a while he tilted his head up and looked at Will, who was still staring at him confusedly. “No, sorry. I just got lost in thought.”

“You’re weird. Are you sure that everything’s okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just tired. Had a long week.”

Will nodded, not assured clearly, but left Mike be, going back to watching… something. Mike looked at the TV. Barked out a laugh which gained annoyed shhhs from Dustin and Will.

He just couldn’t help it. It was Friday the 13th.

Mike watched it for a bit but got bored rather quickly and resumed his studying, trying his best to be less obvious than before. He failed, of course. Lucas was the one who noticed the peeping this time around. He raised his eyebrows, weirded out, sighed, rolling his eyes, and turned back to the TV without saying anything. He didn’t have to. Mike heard him loud and clear. He dropped his mission as the heat rushed to his face. It was too dark in the basement to spot something strange in Will anyway.

Dustin went home shortly after the movie ended, leaving poor, miserable Mike alone with the nauseating so-called lovebirds. (Dustin’s fucking fault – he definitely rubbed off on Mike.) The pair couldn’t shut up for a second, talking animatedly as if they were making up for the last two hours they didn’t get to do so, poking at each other’s sides playfully and not once acknowledging the presence of Mike who stayed pointedly silent. It was quite rude of them, actually, but he didn’t comment on that because it finally gave him the chance to observe Will’s mannerisms without issues and helped a lot in terms of Mike’s big investigation.

So, maybe he jumped to the wrong conclusion. Will certainly wasn’t possessed. At least he didn’t sound like it. Not like the last time. He acted like Will, smiled like Will, bantered like Will. His breathtaking hazel eyes weren’t dark pits – they were clear and shiny with life, albeit perpetually tainted due to the horrors he had to survive at such young age. There was absolutely nothing off about him. Even if Mike didn’t know his once best friend too well now, he could see the real Will in every short syllable and clumsy gesture he produced, not the distorted product of Mike’s spiraling.

He didn’t want to think what that meant but his stupid brain refused to listen.

They truly liked each other, then. So what now? Did Mike have to tell them that he knew their secret or was it better to stay silent, waiting patiently for them to share it? He was still pretty much concerned regarding the moral side of their choice, but maybe he simply wasn’t aware of all of the important details. Mike trusted his friends. It couldn’t be as bad as it seemed.

“Lucas, wait!” Will called out to Lucas, snapping Mike out of his internal debate. “I have something for you.”

It piqued Mike’s curiosity in a flash and he squinted his eyes, attempting to discern what Will retrieved from the shelf. “It’s just a painting I did. Of you and… Well, you can see for yourself,” Will mumbled and handed Lucas a rolled canvas, scratching the nape of his neck sheepishly.

Lucas unrolled the paper and inhaled sharply, taken aback by whatever he saw. He softened after a bit, his body trembling as he was hit with a wave of emotions, saying something over and over with welled-up eyes, grateful and touched by no measure. Mike kept staring at them both, barely registering their actions, and couldn’t decipher a single thing they said, his ears filled with white noise and mind going numb as though someone clicked him off like some Nintendo game, leaving him stuck in time, speechless and unable to move until the next play. The resounding crack of his bleeding heart sent him back to the reality, making him shiver all over from onslaught of the overlapping thoughts and venomous feelings. He was hurt. A lot more than he anticipated.

All because Will gave Lucas a painting. Just like that. Without El or anyone else asking. Commissioning. He did it only because he felt like it. Wanted to do it. Make Lucas feel special, make him smile through happy tears and get the tightest hug in return afterwards.

Mike wished he hugged Will too. Why didn’t he? Did he even thank him like he deserved? Will was crying quietly, turned to the window, covering his sniffles with his hand, and Mike just sat there, stupid and overwhelmed with the heartfelt speech he’d gotten, not knowing how to react properly. What an idiot he was for not expressing his gratitude more. He’d never received anything so beautiful and uplifting – it was a priceless treasure he valued deeply to this day and sought out at all times he felt lost, insecure or unmoored, recalling the words, reciting them under his breath while secretly wishing they came from Will rather than El. He knew it was stupid but he pretended like they did anyway.

It lost all meaning now. He was never Will’s heart. All this time it was Lucas and Mike was a fool to hope otherwise, wish to be the one he cared about the most. The one he needed. The one he loved.

The world around him crumbled, crushing his silly dreams under its weight. It was over for him. How could he be so stupid? He suspected; he knew. Why didn’t he prepare better? Why did he let himself be hurt so bad?

The tears didn’t come. There would be time for them later, when he was alone in his room. No one should see his pain, especially not Will. Mike wasn’t ready to face him. He wouldn’t be able to lie.

Mike got up, planning to give them privacy, but froze, confused, as he realized that the only person that still stayed in the basement beside himself was Will.

“Where’s Lucas?” He asked, afraid of hearing the answer.

Will stared at him in bewilderment. “Went home. He said bye to you, you didn’t hear?”

Uh. Yeah. About that. I was kind of busy picking up the pieces of my broken heart. You know, the usual. No need to fret.

“Uh, yeah, right,” Mike grumbled awkwardly.

Will’s forehead creased in concern. “What’s going on with you, Mike? You’ve been pretty out of it all evening.”

“As I said, tired,” Mike dismissed Will, going out of his way to not make eye contact with him. “I should probably go to bed early tonight. See you tomorrow.”

“But-” Before Will could finish whatever he wanted to say, Mike ran up the stairs, not looking back, with only one thought spinning on his mind. He was pierced with a sharp urge to get to the bottom of this once and for all.

Mike couldn’t speak to Will about it, so he had no other choice but to corner Lucas.

He ran through the house, praying it wasn’t too late, and luckily found his friend mounting on his bike outside. “Lucas! Wait!” Mike called out and caught up to Lucas swiftly, panting like a dog and folding in half as he stopped before him. “Can I talk to you about something for a sec?” He asked then, not without putting a huge effort. He still sounded like he was dying.

“Yeah,” Lucas said, looking at Mike warily. “What’s up? You alright there?”

“I’ll live.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you,” Lucas chuckled, teasing. “You should exercise more, dude.”

Mike straightened up, shoving him begrudgingly. “Eh, I think I’ll leave it to you.”

“So, what’s the matter?”

Ah, right. Mike was so occupied with not throwing up his lungs, he almost forgot the reason he ran like hell here in the first place.

The brutal words tumbled out of his mouth before he could even think of the best way to start this conversation.

“Dude, you know it’s not cool to cheat on your girlfriend while she’s in a coma, right?”

The shock on Lucas’s face was short-lived and got replaced with blazing fury so fast Mike barely registered it.

“What the hell, Mike? Are you fucking serious?” He yelled, outraged, getting off his bike and dropping it on the ground with a clang. Mike swallowed, hard, racking his brain desperately for a way to defuse a quickly escalating situation. “Have you lost your fucking mind? How dare you accuse me of… I would never.”

“No, wait, I- I know-” Mike stuttered, raising his hands defensively.

He got cut off by Lucas’s sharp, menacing voice. “Shut up! Shut your mouth before I punched you. I’m serious. You know how much I love Max. I could never betray her like that. Coma or no coma.”

“Yes, I know that, Lucas, I didn’t mean it.”

“But you thought it.”

“It wasn’t like that, I swear. I just- I just assumed from what I’ve seen, I’m so sorry, Lucas. Can we please forget about it?”

Lucas leveled Mike with a scorching gaze. “No, you won’t come off the hook so easily. What is it about, Mike? How did you even come to this conclusion?”

“I don’t know. You became so close all of a sudden, and I overheard your conversation today… It just seemed logical to me but now I see how stupid it was,” he mumbled, not meeting Lucas’s eyes. Mike truly crossed the line here. He didn’t mean for it to happen but it did so he had to own up to it now.

“Yes, it is stupid, Mike. But why are you so worked up over the thought of me and Will anyway? And don’t say that’s because of how much you care about Max. We both know it’s not true.”

Mike could lie. He could come up with some bullshit reasoning and pray that Lucas believed it. Because he didn’t owe anyone this side of himself.

But he aspired to be brave so he chose to be truthful. At least to some extent.

“I guess- no, I know. I felt threatened, okay?”

“Threatened?” Lucas repeated slowly, pensive. “Wait a second… Threatened by me? Are you jealous, Mike?”

“Yes. Yes, I am jealous! I mean, it makes sense. Of course Will would want to date you. You’re Lucas. Sweet and attentive and supportive. Loving. Everything I’m not. You’re such a good boyfriend to Max and I was so awful to El because I’m a total fuck-up. No one could ever want to have something serious with me.” Mike will definitely regret this humiliating oversharing later but now he couldn’t bring himself to care. There were still more important matters to cover.

“First you accused me of cheating and now you’re calling me a good boyfriend? Do you even hear yourself, Mike?”

“I know I sound insane. My head’s all messed up, okay?” Mike grunted, frustrated, snaking one hand in his hair and pulling at his curly greasy locks hard to stop feeling so pathetic. It didn’t work. “I’ve been slowly losing it ever since Will came out and I-” he stopped himself before he could finish the revealing thought. There was no coming back from that.

It was too late, unfortunately. The short gasp that Lucas let out was so sharp it made Mike flinch.

“I’m sorry, Mike,” he apologized unexpectedly, looking strangely ashamed.

“What are you sorry for? I don’t need your pity,” Mike cut in, harsh, hugging himself protectively. Has he realized? Does he hate him now?

He didn’t feel sorry for Will – he accepted him without a question. Then why was his reaction so different when it came to Mike?

“I’m not pitying you. I was a bit of an asshole, too.”

What did he even mean by that?

Mike interrupted him again, furrowing his eyebrows. “For threatening to punch me? It was warranted.”

“No, not for that,” Lucas responded, getting impatient. “I was partly messing with you, okay? I just thought it would speed up the process but you already knew, didn’t you?”

“Knew what?”

“About your feelings.”

Mike inhaled sharply. Even though he suspected what was coming, hearing that felt like a punch in the gut anyway.

He nodded curtly.

“So you’ve been taunting me?” Mike asked as soon as he fully processed what Lucas said.

“A bit, yes.”

Well, it explained the fed-up looks Mike was on receiving end from him constantly, but there was something he was still curious about.

“How did you find out about me?”

Lucas snorted as if Mike was truly ridiculous for even wondering about it. “You’re not exactly subtle.”

Mike gulped hard as claws of anxiety dug into his chest, making it harder to breathe. “Wait. Does it- does it mean- Will… Does he know too?”

“No, he doesn’t, Mike,” Lucas assured him, gripping his shoulders with both hands, and the steady pressure of them halted the rising panic in Mike from getting out of control. “He’s as oblivious as you are.”

“What do you mean?” Mike let out the question quietly, scared of getting his hopes up.

“Oh my God! Just think a little!” Lucas groaned like this whole conversation was making him sick and tired. It probably was. Mike could be pretty annoying, especially when he refused to cooperate and chose to be difficult instead.

But not this time. He wasn’t trying to be a pain in the ass just for the sake of it. The thing that Lucas was heavily implying, the way he was looking at Mike, imploring him to see what he saw… It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be so Mike wasn’t going to entertain this crazy idea even for a second. He wasn’t lucky like that.

“No, Lucas,” he denied, unyielding, pressing his lips together firmly. “You’re wrong. I have eyes.”

“Well, then you obviously have to check them,” Lucas deadpanned. “I already explained what it mostly was. It doesn’t mean what you think it means.”

“Even if it’s true from your side, Will still clearly has feelings for you.”

“What? Why do you think so?” Lucas sputtered, nonplussed.

“Because he gave you the painting! You, not me.”

“You mean the painting of me and Max? How’s it even connected? Why would he give you that?”

Oh my God. Mike was so dumb it wasn’t even funny anymore.

“I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah, you definitely are. Just go talk to him! Put us all out of this misery, please. I’ll kill you if you don’t.”

They exchanged their goodbyes quickly and Mike went back to the house, weighing his options. He could listen to Lucas and talk things out with Will right now or he could simmer in his head all night, tossing and turning restlessly as he decided what to do next, and then face his best friend in the morning.

The choice wasn’t difficult at all. He didn’t want to wait anymore.

The way back to the basement went by in a hopeful daze. Mike felt like he could faint at any moment but he pushed through, not letting his nerves to be a ruining obstacle and forcing his jelly legs to take him to the only person his soul had ever desired. As he opened the door to the basement, his heart began to hammer erratically like he crossed that hundred light-years they were separated by in just a few seconds in order to get to the precipice of something that could either destroy him forever or grace him with lifelong happiness he’d never dared to wish for.

The creaks of wooden steps under his feet were deafening and alerted startled Will of his presence. Mike stopped at the bottom of the stairs, playing with the hem of his old worn T-shirt, looking for the words that didn’t come. The ones that did seemed wrong and half-empty, not conveying everything he wanted to say.

Will got up from the stool he was sitting on, slamming his sketchbook shut, and looked at Mike quizzically. “I thought you went to bed.”

“I lied.”

Will didn’t look surprised by the admission. He always saw through Mike’s bullshit, that’s why he couldn’t face him before. Now, for a change, when Will’s perceptiveness was highly welcomed, he seemed to be bent on not seeing signs Mike was mentally sending him with his eyes. It was a bit frustrating but understandable. Mike had to voice what he really thought for once. Not deflect, not hide. Let Will in.

“Why are you here, Mike?”

“I came to talk.”

Will sucked in a breath loudly, squaring up his shoulders as if he was preparing for an impending fight. “What about? You asked to talk and I got nothing instead. It’s like you vanished, Mike. You’ve barely said a word to me in weeks, you’ve been hiding from me, you’ve been moping,” he listed off, getting closer to Mike, accusing finger pointing at him. “But I caught you staring at me all the time. Frowning like a pissed in your cereal or something. And now, after all these weeks of cowardly behavior you finally decide to talk? Did you need time to prepare a speech to tell me what abomination I am? How you don’t want to be my friend anymore? How I disgust you? Huh? Do you hate me or what?”

Shit. The only conclusion Mike didn’t want him to come to already started to rot in Will without him noticing.

“No, of course I don’t! You’re- It isn’t like that, Will, I swear. You got it all wrong. I could never hate you.” That terrible thought would have never even crossed Will’s mind if he’d known that hating him went against Mike’s nature. Literally. Mike would willingly face the cruelest of deaths if that ever happened.

“Then what’s the matter with you, Mike?” Will almost begged. His helpless gaze flicked around Mike’s face, searching for answers he was yet to receive, before he looked directly in his eyes, unwavering. “Enlighten me, please, because I don’t know what to think. It’s driving me fucking nuts.”

“I was scared, okay? Shitless. I still am,” Mike admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, as he balled his hands in fists, uncut nails digging in his palms painfully.

“Scared of what? Of me tainting you?” Will spat out, unkind, crossing his arms on his chest like he was daring Mike to prove him wrong. “Infecting you with my queerness?”

“Of losing you!” Mike cried out, not caring if someone heard him, his lips trembling on the last word uncontrollably.

Will gaped at him, flinching back. “What?”

“I’ve been losing you since that summer, and I know- I know it was mostly my fault but I thought we got better, that we overcame it. But I was wrong, wasn’t I? I wouldn’t be losing you again now if we did,” Mike rambled in one breath, barely making sense to his own ears as everything he’d locked inside flooded freely. “It’s been killing me for months, not knowing how I possibly fucked up to push you away. What did I do? Was it the thing I said to you that day? Because I’m so fucking sorry, Will. I didn’t mean it like that. I blamed you for something I wasn’t ready to figure out myself. But I never thought it, okay? Never despised you. I didn’t even know then, didn’t suspect anything. Didn’t allow myself to think about it even for a second because it would’ve opened the floodgates then and I wouldn’t have been able to deny what I truly felt anymore.”

“What are you saying, Mike? I- I don’t get it,” Will murmured faintly, pale from the fear flickering in his eyes. Mike strode to him and took his clammy hands in his own, looking up at him in earnest.

“I know I don’t deserve to ask you for more. I’ll try to make peace with that. But I can’t- Let’s just be us again. Please.”

Will’s breath caught in his throat. “Mike…” he exhaled, his lips barely moving.

Mike didn’t give him the chance to say more, terrified of being rejected. He had to convince him that he could be a better friend. He had to fight. “I know that I’m an asshole and you have every right to tell me to go fuck himself, but I’m so fucking selfish I can’t live with that. I can’t live knowing that I made you cry, that I hurt you so bad you destroyed your safe place. I can’t live in a world where you don’t need me. Where you can’t look at me, where you don’t give me the time of day. I can’t live without you, okay? I want to fix it, want to be better. For you, Will. For you and for us.”

“So, you want us to be friends again?”

I want everything with you.

Mike blinked back the tears, choking out his reply, “I just want to be yours. In any way you’ll have me.”

“Mine?” Will whispered reverently, disbelief slipping through his tone.

Mike nodded, sheepish, and trained his gaze on the floor. “Yes. If you still need me that is.”

Will freed one hand from the gentle grip it was in and lifted Mike’s chin to lock eyes with him again. “Mike,” he said firmly, spurred on by a calm confidence that started to show more and more during the last few weeks. The novelty of it still made Mike feel hot a little (definitely more than a little but nobody had to know that), now more so as it was directed at him. Yeah, he was pretty much gone for all versions of Will. “I needed you before and I still do. I think I always will.”

The sense of déjà vu got Mike rooted to the spot as he was hit with a mind-blowing realization.

El needs you, Mike. And she always will.

“It was- it was you. In the van you told me-” Mike trailed off, growing sick from the details that were seen in a new light now. The clear pain in Will’s face, the sniffles he was choking back, the apprehension to show Mike his work. “Oh my God, Will. Why did you do that to yourself?”

“Because I was scared of losing you too, Mike. I was scared that my feelings would ruin us for good so I chickened out and lied to you. I’m sorry.”

They both went silent for a beat, gazing at each other softly.

“I wanted it to be you,” Mike confessed, quiet but steady, brushing his thumb on Will’s hand he was still holding.

“What?” Will asked, still managing to be surprised for some reason. Hadn’t he caught up to what Mike was trying to tell him yet?

“When I saw that painting, I didn’t even think about El. I saw you in every stroke, in every contour, in every speck of color. It was the best thing I’d ever gotten because I thought that it came from you,” Mike started to explain, feeling more confident by the minute. “But then you mentioned El and gave that beautiful speech so I had to be happy, right? And I was, of course. It made me feel good. But something wasn’t clicking for me and I didn’t understand what exactly at the time,” he held up his hand and cupped Will’s cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb. Will froze, inhaling sharply, and steadied himself with his own hand by gripping onto Mike’s upper arm like it was a lifeline.

“I realized what was wrong only a few weeks ago,” Mike continued, making a short step forward. In his chaotic head they were in each other’s arms already. “I wished it was all you, Will. That you were the one that needed me, that I made you feel safe, that I gave you the courage to fight. Everything you said. Because it’s everything you do to me. I’m strong because of you, you inspire me, you make me keep going. You’re my guiding light, Will. And if you let me, I’d swear my heart to you.”

“Yeah?”

“In a heartbeat.”

Will giggled at that, blushing furiously. “You’re so cheesy.”

“You love it.”

“Guilty as charged.”

Mike couldn’t stop the wide toothy grin that tugged at his lips, not able to push down the giddiness and excitement bubbling inside. “Really? You love me?”

“The van, Mike,” Will huffed, shoving him without real heat. “Don’t play stupid.”

“Just checking. I mean, in what world would you really choose me?”

“It was hardly a choice. Don’t you think I would choose Lucas if I could?” Will teased, making Mike wince in embarrassment.

“Don’t even start, please.”

“Huh? Why?”

Yeah, no way in hell would he answer that question. If only Will knew about the one-sided beef he had with Lucas and any potential imaginary boyfriend, Mike would never live that down.

“Don’t ask.”

Will knitted his eyebrows then, thinking hard. “Wait,” he said as he slowly put two and two together. Mike knew he was screwed just from the way Will smirked, sly and smug. “Were you jealous, Mike?”

Was it too late to get away from here?

Before Mike could make a single move, Will gripped him tightly as if he read his thoughts, ruining his cowardly escape.

“Uhh, maybe? But just a tiny bit,” Mike admitted, playing down the actual level of craziness he’d lived through.

Will raised his eyebrow, chuckling. He was never easy to fool. “A tiny bit? You sure?”

“Yeah, pretty sure.”

“You were glaring at both of us so often it made me believe that you hated me, Mike.”

“Okay, okay, I was super jealous, happy? So jealous I actually started to think you had something with him.”

Will burst out laughing, his body shaking with the power of it. “What? Are you serious?”

“Hey, don’t laugh. It really hurt me.”

Will calmed down gradually, turning serious. “Sorry. It’s just insane, Mike. I mean, yeah, I had a crush on him at some point but it was a long time ago and I started to like someone else a month later, I think. It never was anything serious,” he paused gingerly before murmuring, “Not like it is with you.” Will squeezed Mike’s arm to accentuate his words, making him gasp at the admission. “I was joking, okay? When I said that I would choose him. I wouldn’t. Because I love you. In any world, but most importantly in this one.”

“And who’s cheesy now?” Mike said wetly, fighting back the tears that were threatening to break out. “I love you, too, Will.”

Will beamed happily, his eyes glistening in a dim lightning of the basement. “Good,” he said, closing the remaining short distance between them.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Because it means that now I can do this.”

It was all the warning Mike got before Will crushed their lips together, pulling him by the nape of his neck and leaning up a bit to find the working angle. They melted into it quickly, sighing in each other’s mouths, happy and content to go slow to fully enjoy the process of meeting this new exciting side of their relationship. It was sweet and clumsy and ended too fast for Mike’s liking but neither of them had the time to mourn it as Mike guided Will in a second kiss, cupping his face and holding his shoulder tenderly, getting lost in the all-consuming feeling of closeness he was yearning for since… Forever, probably. Will matched his rhythm, following his lead blindly, getting the hang of it without difficulty, and whined in Mike’s mouth, grasping at him, as he bit Will’s lower lip, tugging it and then pecking a couple times to soothe the sting.

They kissed some more, hungry and desperate, and slowed down a bit before they broke apart finally, panting and gazing at each other, shy and stunned, not exactly sure how to operate now. All Mike knew was that he needed more of Will already.

“Wow,” Mike broke the silence first, stroking Will’s back absentmindedly, his own skin burning nicely in the places where Will’s hands still touched him in a soft familiar way he’d missed so much.

“Wow indeed,” Will chuckled in response, breathless, and bit his swollen lip, turning Mike jealous of his fucking bunny teeth by the action. He truly lost it. Will somehow got Mike under a spell which made him act crazy.

Lucky for him, Mike wasn’t the only one, apparently.

“Is it insane that I miss your lips on mine already?” Will wondered, sheepish, leaning forward a bit and brushing their noses together sweetly.

“Nope. Not insane at all.”

Crazy together.

“Good.” Will kissed Mike’s lips shortly, pulling away after no more than three seconds, making Mike chase after him with a pathetic whimper. “I’m glad you came to me. Thought I’d lost you for a sec here.”

“I’ll never leave your side as long as you need me, remember?”

“Forever then?”

“I like the sound of that.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

Yeah, that was definitely love’s doing. And this time Mike had no doubts about it at all.