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Last week Shane stopped by Hayden’s place, but he wasn’t home. Apparently something had come up and he had to leave without giving Shane a heads-up, so Shane ended up alone with Jackie and the kids. He didn’t mind. After all, he’d known Jackie almost as long as he’d known Hayden. They were really good friends, and he genuinely enjoyed her company.
After coming out to both of them about his secret relationship with Ilya, their bond somehow got even stronger. Now they could have what Jackie jokingly called “boy talks.”
Shane had been hesitant at first. He had never told anyone about hooking up with and then actually being in a committed relationship with Ilya Rozanov. Let alone about their problems.
Because of course they had problems. Every couple did.
Jackie wasn’t exactly shy about sharing her own marriage issues either, which could sometimes get… uncomfortable. Knowing too many details about your best friend’s personal or occasionally sexual life wasn’t always something Shane needed in his brain.
But eventually he grew to enjoy those talks. Jackie gave good advice. Surprisingly good advice.
The same went for Rose Landry, who he still kept in touch with. Shane was lucky to have good women in his life. Even if he wasn’t dating one, a woman’s perspective sometimes helped him figure things out.
This time it was Jackie’s turn to complain. With Hayden out of the house, it was basically the perfect opportunity.
She offered Shane a glass of wine. He immediately refused, so she poured one for herself and brought him a cold can of sugar-free ginger ale from the fridge.
Shane appreciated that she always remembered to stock Pike’s fridge with his favorite soda.
Usually when Jackie complained, it was about small things. Hayden forgetting something from the store for the millionth time. Hayden not doing the dishes after she’d already handled dinner and their four kids.
Which, honestly, was understandable. Taking care of four hungry, chaotic little demons every day would break most people.
Shane had no idea how she had the energy for it. Especially when Hayden was away for games and she had to manage everything alone.
But this time the conversation went a little deeper.
Jackie admitted she didn’t feel as valued as she used to. Hayden rarely bought her flowers anymore. Or little gifts. And more than that he didn’t compliment her much these days.
Before Shane could respond, she immediately started defending him.
She didn’t mean she wanted a divorce. She definitely didn’t think Hayden was cheating. They’d both had a rough few years. Four small kids didn’t exactly leave a lot of time for romance.
Or sex.
Or honestly, even a quiet evening together.
Sometimes Shane and Ilya offered to babysit the kids, but that barely made a dent in how much work Jackie had on her shoulders.
Balancing a professional hockey career, four kids, and a household while trying to keep the spark alive in a marriage…it wasn’t easy.
Jackie knew that. Of course she did.
She just sometimes missed the old days. When Hayden had been completely obsessed with her. When he brought her flowers for no reason and treated her like she was the only woman in the world.
She missed being complimented.
She missed feeling beautiful.
That conversation stuck in Shane’s head for the rest of the week.
It made him start thinking about the last time he’d actually complimented Ilya.
He could easily remember when Ilya complimented him. That happened all the time.
Ilya had always called him pretty. Even years ago, when Shane thought it was just sarcasm or some weird mind game.
Eventually he realized it wasn’t.
Ilya had always meant it.
And it had taken Shane a while to get used to hearing it.
He wanted to be seen on the ice as strong. Intimidating. But more than once other players had pointed out his pretty, boyish face, which made him weirdly insecure.
With Ilya, though, it didn’t feel like that.
At home, Rozanov didn’t look at him like the serious Montreal captain. He looked at him like a man. Like the boy he had fallen in love with almost ten years ago.
With Ilya, he was just Shane.
Not a persona. Not an athlete.
Just Shane.
And Ilya loved praising his freckles out loud like they were the most beautiful thing in the world.
Only now did Shane realize he rarely returned the favor.
Usually his response to Ilya’s compliments was telling him to fuck off or calling him an asshole.
Shane Hollander. A true romantic.
He knew Ilya understood it was teasing. Shane didn’t actually want him to fuck off.
Still… maybe it would be nice to return the compliments sometimes.
Shane also didn’t really use any cute nicknames. Meanwhile Ilya had plenty for him. Most of them were Russian. Some of them didn’t even make sense.
But they existed.
Shane mostly just called him Ilya.
Or Rozanov.
Which wasn’t exactly couple-y.
He could remember calling him handsome a few times, but after hearing Jackie talk about missing compliments in her marriage, Shane came to a realization.
Maybe he wasn’t doing enough either.
And he wanted to change that.
He didn’t want Ilya to ever feel the way Jackie did.
He didn’t want Ilya to feel underappreciated.
Ilya had been away all week, and Shane spent more time than he’d like to admit thinking about it. At one point he even made a list in his notes app of all the things he loved about his boyfriend.
Physical traits. Personality traits.
All of it.
Now he just needed to actually say those things out loud.
It shouldn’t be that hard.
If Ilya could do it, so could he.
When Ilya finally stepped inside the house, Shane already felt like he was starving for him.
He didn’t even let Ilya close the front door properly or take off his jacket before he was kissing his freezing cheeks and perfect mouth.
Ilya smiled into the kiss, clearly pleased with how desperate Shane always seemed for him. That feeling apparently never got old.
He kissed Shane back just as eagerly and messy, a little distracted as he tried to get out of his jacket at the same time. Shane made it nearly impossible.
His hands were everywhere.
In Ilya’s hair. On his cold cheeks. Sliding down over his chest, grabbing his pecs, his waist—then even his ass.
That one surprised Ilya a little. Shane had always been more of a chest guy than an ass guy.
Still, he wasn’t complaining.
Shane just didn’t seem capable of leaving any part of him untouched.
“I missed you, sweetheart.”
When they finally broke the kiss, Shane said it slightly out of breath, his voice a little quieter than usual.
It was the first time he’d ever used a pet name for Ilya.
It made him weirdly shy. His cheeks flushed a little more than they already were from the aggressive makeout session.
He waited for a reaction.
“Missed you too, moya lyubov.”
Ilya used his usual pet name for Shane and didn’t react much to Shane’s attempt.
Okay.
Maybe he hadn’t heard it properly. Or maybe he just assumed it slipped out because they were both a little dizzy and drunk on each other.
Still worth trying again.
“How was your flight, baby?”
Baby sounded extremely unnatural in Shane’s own ears. He almost cringed hearing himself say it.
This time Ilya studied him more carefully.
He watched Shane’s face. Held eye contact for a moment.
Shane was the first to break it. He had never liked looking people directly in the eyes for too long, and right now the embarrassment made it even worse.
Ilya, intrigued by this sudden shift in behavior, decided to play along.
Maybe this was some kind of foreplay.
Shane could be weird about that sometimes. Not in the obvious way. Ilya was the one who sent pictures and talked dirty but Shane had his own brand of freakiness.
He liked little scenarios.
Roleplay.
Sometimes he tried to be someone else in bed, and it seemed to help him get out of his own head.
So maybe that was it.
Shane had one of his strange, sexy ideas again.
The thought alone made Ilya’s cock twitch.
Not knowing where this was going, he decided to see how far Shane would take it.
“Was okay. How was training, darling?”
Shane didn’t remember hearing that one before, but it sounded good in Ilya’s mouth. Effortless.
Meanwhile Shane felt like he sounded completely robotic.
“Good. Yeah, really good.”
For a moment he got stuck in his head and almost forgot the plan.
Rozanov definitely noticed the nickname had affected him.
Shane cleared his throat.
“So… should we move to the couch, honey?”
“Yes.”
Without warning, Ilya scooped him up and threw him over his shoulder.
It was always impressive. Ilya was obviously huge and strong, but so was Shane. The ease with which Rozanov did it every time felt slightly insulting.
Normally Shane hated it.
He could walk perfectly fine on his own. Being picked up like that made him feel weirdly vulnerable.
Usually he’d immediately start yelling at Ilya to put him down. Call him an asshole. Maybe shove him a little for good measure.
He almost did.
Then he remembered the plan.
He was supposed to be nice.
Sweet.
Return the same energy Ilya had been giving him for years.
Ilya, meanwhile, had absolutely expected a fight.
He wanted to test how committed Shane was to whatever strange plan he had going on.
So when Shane didn’t struggle at all just let himself be carried like a sack of potatoes he was genuinely shocked.
Ilya dropped him onto the couch and immediately climbed on top of him again, kissing him harder.
They could honestly spend hours like this.
It was never enough.
“You look nice today,” Shane said finally. “Your hair… did you do something to it?”
“I do not look nice always?”
Ilya grinned and stole another kiss.
“No, you do. You always do. So handsome.”
Shane ran his fingers through his hair.
Ilya was discovering that he liked being praised maybe a little too much.
It made him cocky.
“Yes. Handsomest player in whole league, da?”
He fully expected Shane to break character now. To tell him to stop being so self-obsessed and remind him that Shane Hollander had literally been voted the most handsome player in the MHL.
Two first places were technically impossible.
“Yes. Handsome and pretty.”
Shane almost added pretty fucking annoying, but he managed to stop himself.
“Pretty? Who, me? No. Pretty is for girls.”
“You call me pretty and I’m not a girl.”
Shane was already getting irritated with this stupid game.
“For girls and for you, moya lyubov.”
“No, it’s not. You’re pretty too.”
Shane’s voice was starting to lose patience.
He forced himself to stay on track.
“Your eyes look really nice in the sunlight. They’re hazel… or wait—blue maybe—and your hands are… um… big. And soft. Well, sometimes they’re not soft, but during the summer when we’re not playing they get a little softer, which I guess makes sense because hockey is rough and—right—and your mouth is…”
He was spiraling now.
“Your cupid’s bow is really nice. Your lip shape. I’ve never seen that shape on anyone else but it suits you.”
At this point he wasn’t even thinking anymore.
He was just listing everything he had written down in his notes app, talking faster and faster as panic set in.
Ilya stared at him.
“Hollander… you are high?”
He finally interrupted before Shane could fully combust.
“What? No. I’m just trying to be nice.”
“Okay… why?”
Ilya sounded genuinely confused.
He didn’t need Shane to be nice. He liked Shane exactly as he was easy to annoy, easy to provoke, his permanently irritated little kitten.
“I don’t know,” Shane muttered. “I just thought maybe I’m not nice enough to you. You’re always telling me I’m pretty and saying stuff about my freckles and I mostly just call you an asshole. I thought maybe I could… try being nicer.”
Admitting that out loud felt awful.
Like confessing he might be a bad boyfriend.
Maybe he wasn’t built for romantic stuff.
Maybe Ilya wanted someone romantic.
“Where did this come from?”
Ilya was still confused. He loved Shane exactly the way he was and had never wanted him to change.
They had already spent years pretending not to care about each other. Pretending to hate each other.
They still had to pretend in front of the entire hockey world.
The only place where they didn’t have to act was here.
Together.
Making that fake too would be the dumbest idea imaginable.
“Jackie,” Shane said. “She was complaining that Hayden isn’t romantic anymore. And I realized I’m never romantic. We’re boyfriends. I should be sweet. I should have pet names for you and call you handsome.”
He huffed.
“Which you are, by the way. Annoyingly handsome.”
Ilya’s expression softened immediately.
For a second Shane could swear his eyes looked a little glossy.
Not crying. Obviously not.
But close enough.
He kissed Shane’s cheeks quickly, then his mouth.
“So this is why you are being sweet? Not yelling when I carry you?”
“Yeah. Basically.”
“You are very cute, Shane Hollander.”
The sudden wave of affection Ilya felt almost made him explode.
“I would not mind you calling me handsome,” he added. “Or maybe pet name sometimes. I liked that. But you don’t have to force it.”
He grinned.
“I like you even when you are little shit.”
That was enough.
Shane immediately smacked his arm and laughed.
Finally.
Maybe he shouldn’t have assumed that what Jackie felt would be the same for Ilya.
Their relationship worked differently.
And honestly, Shane was pretty relieved he didn’t have to keep pretending to be someone else.
Ilya looked at him for a moment, smiling a little too fondly.
“You are still very pretty, though.”
Shane groaned and shoved him lightly.
“Fuck off, Rozanov.”
Ilya only laughed and kissed him again.