Work Text:
"You... what?!" Lister got to his feet from where he'd been sitting on his bed, pacing aggravatedly around the room.
"Honestly, it was more like a fight than anything else. I don't even know what to call it really- it was like having sex with a hornet."
"Oh, like that makes it any better! You're just gonna go around and fuck wasps now?"
Ace sank down onto the bed, rubbing his face in anguish. "Y'know Listy, I really like you. And I didn't wanna make you feel like this, but maybe since you are feeling this way, we can put a name to what we have." He looked up at him through his fingers.
"All I wanted you to do was not fuck yourself, but since we're already there, go fuck yourself: what were you even thinking! Just get outta my sight- I don't wanna deal with this right now." Lister spat back, leaning against the table and staring at Ace in fury.
"Y'know what, I can sense when I'm not wanted- it's kind of my hidden talent. I'll head out."
Watching the man leave, Lister went to his locker. Pulling out the tin box, he noticed that it'd been removed from the inside of the sheets. Did Ace-? No, he just wanted the sheets. Sitting down at his table, he pulled out the contents. MDMA, coke and his weed. Not much of each. He also had a can of lager on his table, which he opened without hesitation. It'd ease the sting of coke. Tipping some of the small baggie onto his mirror, he began to cut it up with a razorblade, dragging it into lines. He dropped his head, snorting it, and sitting up to make sure he'd got it all in his system. Dragging his finger across the residue, he rubbed it around his gums, which made his tongue go tingly and numb. Gulping down the rest of the lager, he slammed it down on the table and jumped to his feet, looking around the room, wide-eyed and energetic. Carelessly tossing all his stuff back into the box, he threw it into the locker and walked out his quarters.
If Ace went around fucking whoever he liked, why couldn't he? What was all the hype even about anyway, it wasn't even like they were actually together or anything at all so why does it even matter if Lister went and fucked whoever he wanted as well. Ace wouldn't even care; if he did, he wouldn't have done that with Rimmer- so why did it matter if Lister did the same thing?
He walked briskly down the corridors, deciding to come onto the first person he laid eyes on. Stepping into the kitchen, he made brief eye contact with Kryten.
"Hello, Mr Lister, sir! How are you on this exquisite evening?"
"Nah, I want a warm body." Turning on his heel, Lister gave no more explanation to his words and left the kitchen.
"Darn. I guess I'll have to heat up this leftover vindaloo." The sound of Kryten's voice could be heard as he went back down the corridor. He was beginning to get irritated- where was ANYONE on this damned ship?!
"Heya buddy!"
Cat's shrill voice stopped Lister in his tracks. He turned around.
"I've been looking all day for the ladies- I wanna get sexed UP tonight!"
Well, the Cat's warm enough. "I'm only one push up bra away from being one."
"Damn- I thought you were with Ace! Lover's quarrel?"
"What?! How did you know? We're not even together anyway." Lister looked at him in surprise. He didn't realise Cat could be so perceptive.
"I read about it in Goalpost's diary! He was cucking you in the corner of the room and you guys didn't even know! What a freak."
"You wanna give him something else to write about?" Fuck it. He was really doing this.
Pausing for a moment, the Cat eyed him suspiciously. "Man, I dunno what's with you today, but fuck it! I'm feeling sexy."
Pulling him by the wrist, Lister guided him around the ship. He didn't actually know where the Cat slept, or if he even had a bedroom, but he felt that asking might be rude. After about a minute of aimlessly wandering around the ship, he gave up.
"Where do you actually sleep? Do you have quarters?"
"OH! Is that where you're tryna take me? I thought we were taking the scenic route to your quarters- it's in here!" Freeing his wrist from Lister's hand, the Cat popped the cover of a vent off and climbed in.
"You sleep in the vents?"
"No, silly! This is just how we get there!"
Although he'd started second-guessing himself, especially with the idea that he'd had to be in such a confined space, curiosity overwhelmed his hesitation, and Lister climbed up with him, swallowing his claustrophobia. They crawled awkwardly for a few minutes, before the Cat slid out of another vent in the wall and jumped down into a room.
"This is where the magic happens!"
Coming down after him, Lister glanced around the room. A boiler dominated the far wall, making it incredibly warm. Typical cat. Looking down, he saw the Cat's bed; a round sort of mattress, topped with both silk and throw pillows. A duvet, also silk, covered it, with a large, fur blanket tucked neatly into the bottom end. To the other side of the room, he saw a dozen racks of clothes, all of the highest quality, and seemingly tailored precisely to Cat's body. A clear spot on the floor marked a sewing machine with bolts of fabric lying around it. Next to it was a huge dresser- he wondered briefly how Cat even got it in there- the top of which was rammed with hair products, perfumes and various items that screamed vanity. A mirror hung above it, lightbulbs surrounding the sides and providing a faint glow in the otherwise dimly lit room.
"How on Titan did you get all of this?" Lister asked him. He'd only been able to pack a backpack of the bare essentials when they boarded Starbug.
"This is just what I had on me when we left for Starbug- only a few little bits, but I didn't think we'd be out here this long."
No wonder Kryten had been so adamant they couldn't fit any more luggage into the hold. Lister watched as the Cat rifled through his dresser, producing two glasses and a bottle of red wine. He poured them one each, handing one to Lister.
"Don't stain anything in here, or else you are OUT, buddy!"
Now he'd been given the drink, Lister noticed how dry his mouth was. Wanting to try and hydrate himself, even just a little, as well as not think about what was to come, he drank it swiftly, setting the glass down firmly on the dresser. The Cat gestured in irritation.
"That is a sipping drink, not a chugging drink! What were you thinking?"
"Whatever- I just wanna get to it already. I wasn't that keen on a drink anyway."
"I'll have you know that this divine little bottle is a mood setter in any situation. But if you insist..." Following suit, the Cat gulped his down and clapped his hands, rubbing them together. His pupils dilated in a way Lister had never seen before, and he took a step back, unsure as to what he was doing.
Before he knew it, the Cat pounced on him, knocking them both back onto the silken sheets. Tearing open Lister's shirt, he protested loudly, "Hey! I happened to like that sh-"
He was cut off as the Cat drew his tongue up his navel, biting down on his neck. His tongue was slightly rough, and the sensation drew a ripple of pleasure down Lister's body. His hands instinctively moved up to pull Cat's suit jacket off, but he was stopped as the man sat up, huffing. "Just lie down, I'll take care of this. I don't want you ripping my fine clothes."
"What about my shirt? You seemed okay about ripping that!"
"Honey, that wasn't fine clothing."
Taking his own shirt and jacket off, folding them neatly to the side, the Cat straddled his hips. Lister stared at his torso in bewilderment. He'd heard about his slight difference in anatomy, but he wasn't prepared to see it in the flesh. As well as that, he was also surprisingly toned. Did everyone on this ship exercise except him? Running his hands up his body, he dragged his thumbs over each of the Cat's nipples experimentally, wanting to see if they were as sensitive as humans. The Cat shivered gently, his nipples hardening under his touch and his skin coming over in goosebumps. Lister grasped down on his thighs as the Cat leaned down to meet his lips. He bit down on Lister's bottom lip, the two points of his fangs drawing blood from him. Licking the blood off, he sat back up, arching his back slightly as the heat rose between them. Lister came up with him, meeting his mouth needily. He wasn't expecting this to be so hot, and kissed him fervently. Pushing him back down, the Cat dragged his clawed fingernails deliberately down his chest, hovering at his belt and looking at him for permission. Hurriedly undoing it, Lister wasted no time in pulling his trousers down, aided as the Cat joined him; taking his own off and tossing them carelessly to the side, all want to fold his clothes gone. He was slightly erect, and the Cat leant down again to kiss him, rubbing his palm on his clothed dick, trying to get him harder. Hooking a leg around the Cat's hips, he pulled him down so their cocks pressed against each other. He could feel how hard the Cat was through his leopard-print G-string (of course), and hooked a thumb under the band of his underwear, snapping it playfully. In response, the Cat's hand squeezed his dick tighter and he gasped in surprise, bucking his hips into him. Sitting back up, he made a show of sliding his underwear down, freeing his cock as it sprang forward. It looked a little different to how Lister imagined it would; an animalistic, maroon cock emerging from its smooth, furry surroundings. The fur trailed back up to his stomach as what he previously thought was just body hair, and Lister reached out his hand to stroke the patch of fur just above his cock, moving it down to grasp the firm length. It felt different too, harder, and slick under his touch. The Cat groaned, pushing into his hand. He was a lot more sensitive than Lister expected, and arched his back again as he continued to stroke his cock, tilting his head up to the ceiling. It seemed that he was watching something up there, and Lister looked up too, only to realise that there was a mirror above them. Of course. The Cat ran his hands down his own thighs, gazing up at himself in the mirror in pure lust.
Realising that the Cat was definitely more into himself than him, Lister grabbed his slutty waist to flip him back onto the mattress so he could get a better look at himself as he fucked him. He didn't really mind that the Cat wasn't fussed about his partner- it made it somewhat easier for him to handle the idea, as his intentions were also purely selfish. Although Lister was somewhat curious as to what the Cat's strange anatomy would feel like in his mouth, he hesitated above his dick, unsure as to where to go from there. With a look of impatience, the Cat sat up, grabbing Lister's jaw and pulling him towards him, kissing him roughly. His mouth moved from Lister's to his ear, and he nibbled on it gently, tugging on the lobe then drifting down to bite at his neck. Sucking to leave a mark, Lister lightly pushed his head away, keen to have no evidence of their encounter. Unfazed, the Cat moved downwards, kissing at his torso and moving to his thighs. He bit down on the inner of his thigh, then moved up to mouth his cock through his boxers before taking it out and licking up the shaft. Taking it fully into his mouth, he teethed it a little, making Lister hiss in pleasure, his cock now fully erect.
Licking back up the shaft, he briefly drew his tongue over the tip before coming up to look at him.
"My turn now, baby."
Needing no further instructions, Lister pushed him back down. His previous hesitation at putting his mouth over the Cat's dick had left him, and he took him into his mouth. It definitely tasted different to Ace's, but not entirely unfamiliar. The Cat's hand grabbed the back of his head, taking hold of his locs and pushing his cock deeper into his mouth. He soon let the Cat take over the movement, just letting his mouth be used, his tongue allowing him to easily glide his cock over and tightening his lips around it. Gazing up at himself, the Cat ran his other hand down his own torso, not giving any mind as to how he was using the man beneath him.
His jaw soon began to ache from the Cat's careless movements, and he forcefully pushed himself off the other man, climbing on top of him and taking one of his legs up so he was spread open for him. Knowing what was about to happen, the Cat briefly went to slick his cock with his tongue, allowing Lister to draw back and press his tip against his hole. He pushed inside him with one movement, the sensation drawing a moan out from Lister as he felt the tightness around his dick. He let the other man shift how he wanted, as he knew he needed to be able to look at himself from above, and began to fuck him slowly. The feeling of being inside another man was very different to one being inside him, and he couldn't help but feel envious to the Cat's position in this, although he would've been very hesitant at letting himself be taken by him. It made him miss Ace all the more as he fucked him, which drove him to fuck the man more aggressively, almost out of anger. The sound of the Cat's voice in pleasure was nearly grating on his ears; it was so different, and more harsh compared to Ace's soft yet masculine moans- far more animalistic and shrill as he gazed endlessly up at himself, paying no attention to the man inside him. Fucking the Cat made him wonder how Ace could stand to do this to him; maybe he was right earlier, and they should put a name to what they had. Actually- he was the one who did this to him, so why would he deserve to be in a relationship after that. Pushing the Cat's leg further up with one hand and holding it up against his chest, he pushed the other down on his collarbone to get the best angle for his own pleasure, he fucked him harder, taking all of his frustrations out on the man below him. It only made the Cat screech louder, and Lister grit his teeth in agitation, wanting it to be over. Finally, the Cat quietened down, his moans becoming softer as he came, concentrating on his orgasm.
Realising that he didn't particularly want to continue, especially as he felt he wouldn't be able to finish, Lister pulled out, panting. The Cat sat up, looking at him, not taking any notice that Lister hadn't finished. "Just so you know, this is only a one-time thing, monkey man."
"That's more than alright with me."
Getting up, he shambled around, picking up his clothes and putting them back on. The Cat reclined back, watching him as he stared at the tattered remnant of his shirt.
"Do you have another shirt I can use?" He deserved that much.
"No... but you can use my washcloth." The Cat got up, fishing around and throwing another one of Lister's shirts at him.
"I'm not even gonna ask."
Beginning the uncomfortable crawl back through the vents, Lister considered what he'd just done. He felt filthy and slightly regretful although the erotic experience still left him hard. Not wanting anyone to notice, he tucked it up into his waistband guiltily. The comedown wasn't making this any easier for him, which might be why he lost all enthusiasm toward the end of the encounter. He just felt agitated and on edge; having all these thoughts of everything that'd happened recently, the feelings spiralled in his mind. It took some time for him to find the vent that he'd entered from, and, as he poked his head out into the corridor, he came face-to-face with Ace.
"What the everloving hell are you doing in there?"
"What do you care anyway? I was just checking the airflow."
He slid out, landing ungracefully on his feet. Straightening up, he looked up at Ace, who furrowed his brow at him. "Yeah, right. You can check that in the cockpit. It has it next to the maintenance lights."
Attempting to defend himself further, Lister retorted, "They were broken."
"No they're not? I was just in there." Ace leant down, his eyes fixed on Lister's neck. "What's that?"
He automatically raised his hand, trying to cover the mark. "What's what?"
Pulling his hand away, Ace rubbed at the mark on his neck. "That's a hickey. I can't believe you were giving me all that shit this morning, just for you to do the same."
"Oh, you don't like it, do you? How do you think I felt?!"
"Who would you even- oh my God. It was Rimmer, wasn't it?"
"Oh, God, no!"
"The Cat?! You fucked Cat?"
His lack of reply confirmed Ace's suspicions, and he took a step back, staring at him in utter bafflement.
"Gimme a break, man. You had sex with Rimmer!"
"Don't say it in that tone."
"Why can't I? Was he better than me?"
"What? No."
"Man, leave me alone. I can't be arsed with this again." Turning to leave, Lister was stopped as Ace took his hand.
"Look. You don't have to tell me why you were in a vent, but I think we can both admit this was a mistake. I clearly like you, and, if I'm not wrong, you also have feelings for me. Why can't we just talk this out?"
"I don't think talking's gonna do anything. We should work this out another way."
Ace's eyebrows raised in surprise, but he didn't seem to take offence. Lacing his fingers between Lister's, he drew him closer. "Your quarters?"