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all or nothing

Summary:

“You know Nicky is going to hound you for answers tomorrow, right?”

“He can try, but I believe I was promised my own private dance? Yes or no?”

There’s no hesitation when he breathes out, “Yes.”

Notes:

Important notes before you read!!

I am by no way saying that people should be having sex without a condom all the time, but I am saying that if people are two consenting adults and know that other person is clean and are okay with having sex without a condom then that's okie doke.

Neil and Andrew are both clean in this fic and are two consenting adults who know their limitations and what they will not do. Thank you guys so much for reading this and I hope you enjoy it!

Thanks to Toast_Senpai for editing this!

Tumblr: writeitinred.tumblr.com if you guys want to chat about HC's or about this lovely team then by all means go ahead!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Neil doesn’t know why he even agrees to go to the club anymore when he knows he’s not going to like the amount of people that will be there, but he imagines it’s because of a couple things:

  1. He likes the way Andrew drags his gaze over him appreciatively every time they get ready to go. He lives for that gaze, if he’s being honest.
  2. He likes the way the music moves through him and sweeps him away.

So when he’s at the club like he is tonight and the number of people surrounding him makes him uncomfortable, he focuses on the music and the beat. He lets himself be carried off, but tonight is a little different than the others.

Tonight he actually wants to dance.

They are all sitting in their normal spot near the bar, shot glasses spread over the top of it and Neil thinks he has had enough liquid courage to even look at the swarming bodies on the dance floor.

He makes to stand and Andrew’s eyes are immediately on him. To another person he may look disinterested, but Neil can see the curiosity flashing through them.

“Wanna dance?”

“I don’t dance.”

The response is immediate but Neil just shrugs and moves to the edge of the stairs. He looks back over his shoulder but Andrew is still seated, eyes still watching his every move.

Good.

Let him watch.

He walks down to the dance floor, doing his best to control his growing nerves. He doesn’t even know how to dance and his mother never bothered to teach him, but he does remember watching some belly dancers once. That had been years ago.

“Hey, cutie.” He startles at the voice and he swivels around to see who’s talking to him. He hasn’t even made it to the actual dance floor yet, just to the edge of it, and he already has people talking to him? Maybe he should go back. “Are you looking for someone to dance with?”

The male is taller than him, which isn’t saying much since most males are taller than him, his curly black hair glinting with sweat. He looks like he has no soul, actually, with the way the darkness of the club makes his brown eyes practically black. It’s disturbing, really.

It’s not that he’s bad looking, it’s just that this man isn’t Andrew. And it’s just that he has never had feelings for another man like he has for his boyfriend.

“If you don’t mind, I’d rather dance on my own. Thanks for the offer, though.”

“One dance isn’t going to hurt you. Why dance alone when you can have a partner?”

Neil’s eyes flicker up to the top section, hoping to catch any glimpse of his boyfriend and he can’t help but let the panic rise when he can’t. It’s not like he can’t defend himself if something were to go wrong, but it makes him a little uneasy when Andrew’s not around.

“I think I’m okay, really.”

The man takes a step towards him and the smell of alcohol seeping off of him is so strong that Neil thinks he can get drunk from it.

He tenses up, his hands already coming up to push (or punch) the man away. He looks harmless but Neil has had too many close encounters in his life to leave his guard down.

“Are you sure? No one should be alone in a club.”

“He’s not alone,” a familiar voice says to his left, and his body instantly relaxes at the sight of Andrew. “Now kindly fuck off.”

He slides a hand around Neil’s waist, those long fingers playing with the strip of skin that’s visible. It’s meant to soothe and calm but his skin burns from the touch and his nerves practically light up from it.

“Who the fuck are you?” the man spits.

“His boyfriend. Now, I’m not going to tell you again. Fuck off.”

The last words are growled and Neil has to refrain from arching his back as pleasure spikes through him. He has heard Andrew growl before out of anger and frustration, but never out of jealousy.

“Is this true, cutie?” Andrew’s grip tightens at the pet name. “Is this dude your boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

The word is enough to relax Andrew’s grip, but Neil can still feel it like some kind of imprint. He can’t help but think what it would feel like to have that grip around his throat as Andrew—

All right, he’s getting a little ahead of himself.

“Well if you change your mind, come find me.”

Neil just stares at him as he leaves, his face most likely a mixture of confusion and disbelief. He feels bad for the next person to say ‘no’ to him, and he hopes whoever it is decks him right in the face.

“When did you start coming down here?”

“When you started turning heads as you were walking down the stairs. I know how attractive you are but apparently you’re oblivious.”

Andrew’s fingertips dip under the waist band of his pants and any remark he has flies out of the window. He turns to look at Andrew and he immediately regrets it because his knees weaken and his mouth dries. There have only been a handful of times Neil has seen Andrew look at him with such intensity, but it makes him tremble every time the look lands on him.

“Do you want to dance now?” Neil asks again

Really, Neil would rather get down on his knees and suck Andrew off than dance, but he’ll save that for later.

“I told you already, I don’t dance.” Except he’s already sliding his fingers back up to waistband on Neil’s pants and he hasn’t retreated back to the table yet, so he’s going to take that as a good sign. “However, I know that you wanted to dance and I can’t leave you alone in case that creep comes back, so you’re going to dance and I’m going to watch.”

Andrew’s mouth flicks up into a teasing smile and it’s so rare to see any kind of smile on his face that Neil can’t say no, so he watches as his boyfriend takes a couple steps back and he starts to swing his hips.

If he’s being honest, it’s a little awkward to dance by himself, especially with the way Andrew is looking at him, but he tries to focus on the music. He lets himself get lost in the beat and everything becomes okay.

He doesn’t feel embarrassed as much now and thinks that he would have made those belly dancers proud back then.

He feels hands curl into his shirt and when he snaps out of it he sees that Andrew is right in front of him, lips only inches away from his.

“Yes or no, Josten?”

He doesn’t know what he has done to deserve the look in Andrew’s eyes, but he’s not going to turn him away.

“Yes.”

Andrew’s lips crash into his, tongue slipping through his parted lips. He knows it’s a message to everyone around them that he’s with Andrew, but he can’t find it in himself to care as he lets his boyfriend kiss him.

Those hands uncurl from his shirt to slide down the front of the fabric and back around to lie innocently on his backside. It’s takes all of his will power to stay still and not squirm, even if he wants those hands to do more than just rest on his ass.

“The number of people staring at you dancing is ridiculous.”

“If you take me back to the dorm, I’ll give you your own private dance.”

The words are out of his mouth before his brain even registers what he has just said, but it’s too late to take them back and from the way Andrew’s pupils dilate, he’s not going to be able to anyway.

Not like he wants to.

“I’ll go round up Nicky and the others. Let’s go.”

Andrew slides his hands away from his ass—he’s trying really hard not to be disappointed by that—to take his hand, pulling him up the stairs.

Neil doesn’t know what he just got himself into, but if Andrew will keep looking at him like that then he’ll figure it out one way or another.

--

They make it back to the dorm alive, which is impressive considering Nicky had been driving, but it’s a good thing that they arrived when they did, otherwise Neil would have lost his damn mind.

Halfway through the car ride after he had calmed down a bit from the rush at the club, Andrew decided he needed to put his hand on his knee—which wouldn’t have been a problem if it weren’t for the fact that that hand kept inching up his thigh.

He had been torn between making Andrew stop or telling him to keep going. The man has been testing every ounce of patience he has with his libido because it had been so tempting to spread his legs and let Andrew’s hand keep exploring.

Eventually Aaron told his brother to stop, and he did, but Andrew didn’t take his hand back. He just let his hand lay there, letting the bumps and grooves of the road lift it higher and higher.

His nerves are basically on fire by the time they get back to their dorm room and all Andrew does when they enter is turn around and tell Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin to go somewhere else before slamming the door in their faces and turning the lock.

“You know Nicky is going to hound you for answers tomorrow, right?”

“He can try, but I believe I was promised my own private dance? Yes or no?”

There’s no hesitation when he breathes out, “Yes.

He lets Andrew walk into their bedroom while he fishes out Nicky’s iPod that he knows has the perfect song for this situation. He takes off his shoes and socks before walking into their bedroom, some of his nerves starting to flare back up as he takes Andrew in.

There’s only a tiny list of things that keep Andrew interested and him being one of those things is still a weird concept to him, especially as those hazel eyes follow his every move.

“Do you really need music?”

“It’d be a little awkward without it, don’t you think?”

Andrew shrugs as Neil plugs the iPod in. “You seemed to forget the music was even there at the club.”

Neil hums in response, clicking the song Side by Side by Ariana Grande. Nicky has been playing it non-stop and he’d be lying if he said it had hadn’t grown on him.

“Really? You pick Ariana Grande for a lap dance?”

Neil chooses to ignore him and instead starts to swing his hips in time to the beat. It might be an odd song choice but Andrew won’t be saying anything once the dance is over.

He turns to face his boyfriend, fingers working to undo the buttons on his shirt.

Andrew’s eyes are following his every move and it’s weird to him to be looked at with such intensity but he can’t say he doesn’t like it.

“Did I mention you can’t touch?”

Andrew’s brows rise in interest, a question in itself, but Neil just lets his shirt fall to the floor. It’s not like his boyfriend hasn’t seen his chest, in fact he has seen Neil’s chest numerous times but he still expects Andrew to flinch and turn away. It’s what everyone else does.

Except Andrew never does.

Andrew keeps his eyes trained on him, roaming from his face to his chest and down to his legs. It’s a full body look that makes him feel like he’s burning.

He runs a hand down his chest as he circles his hips in time to the beat. Neil doesn’t know if he’s doing this correctly but as long as Andrew keeps his eyes on him then he’s obviously doing something right.

He takes a few steps towards Andrew until he’s able to slip right onto his lap, placing his knees on either side of his thighs and pushing himself up. He leans down to place a slow kiss to Andrew’s lips, letting his hips continue to swing to each low beat. His hips are a few inches away from the obvious bulge in his boyfriend’s pants but that’s where his hips stay as he pulls away from the kiss, throwing his head back and continuing to dance. He lets the music take him away, hoping he at least looks like he knows what he’s doing.

He chooses that moment to grind himself against Andrew’s erection, reveling in the soft hiss that slips out of his boyfriend’s mouth. He grinds himself against Andrew again just to hear that beautiful sound once more, except this time Andrew’s hands fly up to grip his hips and he has to bat them away.

“I thought I said no touching?”

Andrew groans, actually groans, at being denied the right to touch his boyfriend.

He slips off of Andrew’s lap, keeping his hips moving as he stands just out of reach. His fingers play with the waist band of his jeans, slipping them down and popping the button.

Really he could just slip them off, but where’s the fun in that?

“If you don’t get over here soon…” Andrew growls, but Neil just clicks his tongue disapprovingly.

“Patience.”

Andrew growls at him and his back arches just like it did at the club, and although he would love to crawl towards his boyfriend and suck him off, the man did ask for a show—and he’s damn well going to give him one.

He somehow manages to get rid of his jeans without face planting and he’s left in his boxer-briefs, though they should be considered booty shorts with how short they are. Nicky swore that he would look good in them and that Andrew would greatly appreciate them, and he supposes he should be grateful that he decided to actually wear them tonight.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting shy now?”

Neil snaps out of his thoughts and meets Andrew’s eyes, which are almost completely black save for a small ring of hazel.

“Of course not. And shush. You’re ruining the song.”   

He steps forward until he’s in between Andrew’s thighs before turning around, hips still going to give his boyfriend a full view of the ass he can’t touch right now. His hands roam over his chest and sides and when the beat of the song changes, he places his hands on Andrew’s knees to push them apart and he pushes his ass out to grind his against the front of his boyfriend’s jeans.

He’s not surprised when he feels Andrew’s hard cock press against him but he is surprised by the needy whine that slips past his boyfriend’s lips, and he can’t even be mad when he feels hands grip his hips to hold him close—giving them both the contact they want.

But then Neil remembers that Andrew isn’t supposed to be touching him and he’s supposed to be giving him a show so he slips away again, but this time he crawls on his knees. He really doesn’t know if he’s doing any of this right. He likes to think so, seeing as though Andrew is having a hard time keeping his hands to himself but he doesn’t even know what he’s doing on the floor. It just seemed like a good idea five seconds ago.

He thinks back to all the stupid music videos Nicky and Allison had made him watch with all the backup dancers grinding on the floor, and he knows exactly what he needs to do. Turning around, he places his hands on the ground and dips his chest low and arches his back just enough so that his thighs are spread and his ass is high in the air.

He lets himself be controlled by the music, moving his hips in time to the quick beat changes. His muscles ache and his knees burn but when he turns his head to see Andrew gripping the bed sheets like his life depends on it, it’s worth it.

He turns himself around as the last of the chorus begins to play, knowing that his little show will have to end sooner or later, and crawls towards Andrew. He crawls in between his thighs, placing his hands on his boyfriend’s knees and pushing himself up enough so their lips are just barely touching.

Neil’s eyes flicker up to meet Andrew’s and what he sees makes his stomach clench with anticipation. There’s nothing but pure want in that gaze and Neil knows that both of them are ready for this moment.

“You can touch me now.”

And that’s all Andrew needs to hear before his lips slide over Neil’s, hands threading through his short hair before gripping him tight and keeping him close. His grip tightens on Andrew’s knees as his boyfriend’s tongue dips inside his mouth, drawing out soft moans from him.

“Get on the bed.” Andrew’s voice is gruff and Neil scrambles up onto the bed, his body shivering with a need he never knew existed until he met Andrew. There had been times on the road when he would feel aroused, but there had never been any time to take care of it. Plus, his mother would beat it out of him if she even found out his thoughts weren’t on the road ahead of him.

So he just never thought about what sex would feel like with anyone, but since Andrew walked into his life that’s all changed. All he wants right now is for Andrew to show him what he has been missing over the years, and he wants to know how it will feel to have his boyfriend on him—in him—

“Hey, focus on me.”

He must have been spaced out long enough for Andrew to go grab some lube and condoms, which he throws carelessly on the bed.

“Are you really all right with doing this?” Neil asks as his boyfriend crawls on the bed, kneeling in between his thighs.

“If I wasn’t then I wouldn’t have bothered to send Nicky and the others away or leave the club early.” Andrew’s hands slide over Neil’s stomach, his rough callouses made from going so hard during practice drag along his skin. The touch is soft and gentle, so much so that it almost startles Neil. It’s that not that he doesn’t think that Andrew can’t be gentle, it’s that he sometimes associates touch with pain. He doesn’t always know if a touch will end with bruises but somehow he doesn’t think he’ll ever have to worry about that with Andrew. “What about you? Are you all right with this?”

Neil places his own hands on both sides of his boyfriend’s neck, feeling the quick beat of Andrew’s pulse. “I am more than ready.”

Andrew takes a few moments, checking Neil for any signs that he’s lying, but he won’t find any. He meant his words and he won’t be taking them back.

“If I hurt—”

“Andrew Minyard, if you don’t kiss me right now I swear—hmph.”

It seems that his boyfriend doesn’t need to be told twice and Neil can’t help but moan as Andrew drags his hips down to meet his, tongue skimming over his lips before dipping in for a taste. This whole thing is shocking and thrilling at the same time, and never in a million years did he think his life would lead him to this point but he’s glad that it did.

Andrew pulls back, and Neil whimpers at the loss of contact as his hands slide away from his boyfriend’s neck.

“Patience,” Andrew mocks, and Neil squints his eyes at him, wondering if he should be insanely turned on by the fact that his boyfriend is using his words against him, or annoyed—he’s going to go with both.

Though he doesn’t know if he can be annoyed when Andrew’s fingers curl around the bottom of his shirt and lift it over his head. Neil feels like he has stopped breathing, probably has, as he stares at the expanse of pale skin before him. He keeps the arm bands on but that’s all right because his attention is more focused on the fact that Andrew’s fingers are undoing the buttons of his pants, showing a little peak of the erection that wants to come out.

Neil watches, his gaze soaking up every movement as Andrew slides his pants over his hips and now they are both left with only one article of clothing. It’s not doing a very good job of concealing anything though, not that Neil expected it to or anything, but he also didn’t expect Andrew to be so…big either.

“Everything all right?” Andrew questions when he settles between Neil’s thighs again.

“Yeah, yeah…just a little nervous. Not that it’s a bad nervous and I want to stop, but because you’re so big? I’m just not sure how it’ll fit inside me, you know?”

He’s rambling; he knows it and Andrew knows it because something that comes close to a smile appears on his lips, and he wants to disappear thanks to his embarrassment.

“You have to relax.” Andrew’s hands are on him again, but this time they are running up and down the insides of his thighs. Relax. Right. He can do that. Of course he can do that. “And just enjoy the ride.”

Andrew leans forward to kiss Neil once more and he lets himself melt into the kiss—lets himself be taken away by the feel of Andrew’s mouth on his, the taste of his mouth, anything to take away his nerves. He trusts this man with his life and he knows he won’t get hurt.

When Andrew pulls back again Neil doesn’t have to wait long before Andrew trails his lips down his jaw, down his neck where his teeth and tongue linger until Neil is sure he’ll have a nice hicky tomorrow (and he’s sure someone will be rich at practice).

The hands on his thighs don’t stop moving just like Andrew’s lips as they move towards Neil’s chest, where each kiss on his scars are followed by a hot swipe of tongue that makes his back arch off the bed. He doesn’t know if his chest is just that sensitive or if Andrew just really knows what he’s doing.

It’s when he feels that tongue swipe over his right nipple, the tip of it swirling around to make Neil gasp and moan that he makes his decision. It’s both. Definitely both.

“Andrew,” he whines, stroking his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. He’s trying to decide if he wants to push him away or keep him close but before he can, Andrew moves on to his left nipple and he never knew nipples could be so sensitive in his life. It makes his hips squirm and he can’t stay still, even when Andrew’s hands slide up to keep his hips pinned to the bed. “What if I told you to just fuck me right now?”

“I’d tell you to be patient. If we rush I’ll hurt you.”

And I don’t want to be like him. Neil can hear the unspoken words clear as day and they are like a punch to his gut. He never thought about what must be going through Andrew’s mind as this all played out—

“Hey.” Andrew rests his chin on Neil’s stomach, looking up at him through hooded lids. “I thought I told you to focus on me, and not that idiotic brain of yours. Everything’s all right.”

Neil nods and that’s all the conformation Andrew needs as his fingers curl under the band of his boxer-briefs, and when Neil nods again they’re slipped over his aching cock and down until he’s left completely naked.

This isn’t the first time Andrew has seen him naked, but it might as well be with the way his boyfriend stares at him, and it makes him want to cover up. Neil has never seen Andrew look at him so adoringly and he doesn’t know if his boyfriend even knows what kind of emotion is on his face at the moment.

“Tell me you really want this,” Andrew murmurs, and the words are so quiet that Neil thinks he has imagined them being said in the first place.

“What?”

“I want to know if this is what you really want.”

They’re going to have to have a talk (again) later about it if he can’t say ‘I’m fine’, then neither can Andrew, but for now all Neil can do is reassure him that there’s nothing more that he wants at the moment than to have this moment with him.

He reaches a hand out to try to find the bottle of lube, letting out a soft ‘ah ha!’ when his fingers curl around the bottle

“If I didn’t want you, Andrew,” he begins, placing the lube in Andrew’s hand, “I would have told you ‘no’ from the beginning and I know you would have backed off, because I know you wouldn’t hurt me. You like me too much.”

“One hundred and ten percent, Josten.”

His words seem to relax Andrew enough that he flicks the tube open and squirts some on his fingers, but he still looks tense. This is a big step for both of them, even more so for Andrew.

He watches Andrew’s slick hand carefully, trying to keep his body relaxed enough. He’s heard Nicky talk about this enough times, not voluntarily of course, but he knows he’s supposed to keep his muscles relaxed so the finger will slip in easily enough. But when the first of Andrew’s lubed fingers touches his entrance, all those words fly out of his head and he hisses at the cold feeling of the lube.

Andrew’s mouth is on his in a moment, tongue working its way inside as a distraction—and it works, he falls into his boyfriend’s mouth, runs his fingers through his soft hair, relaxing into him—right up until his thighs are being spread and Andrew slides a finger into him.

Neil had been expecting it to hurt, Nicky said it would hurt, but he guesses that Andrew used enough lube that it didn’t hurt. It does feel strange but Neil thinks that’s because he has never done this before, never has had someone else’s fingers in him besides his own. (And that’s only when Matt is out of the room and spending the night with Dan.)

“You okay?”

Neil nods, knowing that Andrew will want more than just that for confirmation but he doesn’t think he can even form words right now.

Andrew’s mouth trails from Neil’s, down to his jaw, his neck where Neil is more than sure he’ll have another mark joining the one his boyfriend gave him earlier. It’s another distraction as Andrew slides in a second finger and he gasps at the tight fit, his thighs spreading even more as his hips squirm to adjust to the feeling.

He definitely wouldn’t say he dislikes this feeling—this feeling of being full, but then Andrew curls his fingers and he cries out, back arching off the bed and his hips push down, eyes going wide. He can feel Andrew’s smirk against his skin and he’d lecture him for being so smug if those fingers hadn’t started moving again, massaging the spot in him that makes the whole fucking galaxy pop up in front of his eyes.

He whines as Andrew’s free hand grips his cock, stroking him in time with the pump of his fingers. Neil’s fingers slip from Andrew’s locks, instead sliding down to grip at his shoulders, doing his best to keep what little control he has left intact, but then a third finger eases its way in and the feeling is almost way too much.

“How do you feel?”

“Full,” Neil moans. “I feel so full.”

Andrew keeps massaging that spot inside him, doesn’t even give Neil a chance to breathe, not even as his orgasm keeps building and building until he throws his head back and his hips jerk up to let him give himself up to the pleasure washing over him. He can feel the cum splash on his belly but it doesn’t really register as he fights through his heavy breathing.

“Holy shit,” he laughs out, his hips jerking as Andrews continues to stroke him through the rest of his orgasm. He hears a huff that closely resembles a laugh come out of his boyfriend but he’s too busy focusing on coming down from his high that he lets it go. “That was amazing.”

“Are you all right?” Andrew questions as he slips his fingers out. “Still want to continue?”

Neil slowly sits up, his muscles quivering at the action but just knowing the reason why his muscles are aching sends another wave of pleasure crashing into him. He can feel himself getting hard again at the fact that Andrew will be in him, those strong hands of his gripping his hips—

Yes,” he moans, and Andrew closes his eyes at the sound, hands clenching into fists at his sides. He looks like a man searching for self-control and it’s amazing that Neil’s the one to make him look like that. He reaches out to run a finger down Andrew’s stomach, feels his muscles tense and relax under his touch. He’s been allowed to touch for a while now and he loves how those muscles feel under his touch. “Can I put the condom on you?”

When Andrew opens his eyes, it seems that no trace of hazel is present. The look is all he needs to reach for the condom and puts it between his teeth, fingers moving to curl under the waistband of Andrew’s boxer-briefs. He looks up at his boyfriend, waiting for any kind of confirmation before continuing.

He knows that Andrew wants to make sure he’s okay with everything, but Neil wants to do the same for him.

“Do it.”

And Neil does. He tugs the piece of fabric down until Andrew’s cock is free and his mouth goes dry at the sight of it. He did this. He made his boyfriend hard like this, the tip leaking freely. He takes the condom out of his mouth before leaning forward to lap at the head with his tongue, groaning at the taste.

“If you do that,” Andrew grounds out, and Neil knows he’s fighting for that self-control again, “this will not last.”

Neil hums but gives the head one more lick and pulls back, fingers quickly working to open up the condom package, rolling the latex over his thick cock which feels hot and heavy in his hand.

“Lay back down,” Andrew orders, grabbing the bottle of lube once more. “Spread your legs a little more.”

Neil doesn’t have to be told twice as he holds himself open for Andrew, watching as his boyfriend’s cock lines up with his entrance and eases in to him slowly. He still tenses slightly and scrambles to grip at Andrew’s shoulder for support as the man keeps pushing into him achingly slow. The slow movement is enough to make him relax, his thighs spreading a little more to accommodate for his boyfriend’s thickness.

“Does it hurt?”

“Surprisingly, no. There’s-ah-a slight burn, but that can’t be helped.”

Andrew’s hand wraps around his half hard cock, stroking him lazily to give him enough of a distraction to slide all the way in. God damn, he feels so full right now and he never wants it to end. His boyfriend had teased him enough earlier that his cock slips in the rest of the way with ease and everything feels so perfect—better than he could have imagined.

“Can I move?” Neil looks at Andrew through hooded lashes, watches those muscles in his jaw twitch rapidly.

The word ‘please’ is at the tip of his tongue but he holds it back, knowing what kind of memories that word brings up for him. So he nods—very enthusiastically.

Andrew rocks into him gently and he knows that he’s holding back for Neil’s sake, but he doesn’t need the man to go slow.

“I’m not going to break, Andrew. Harder.”

And then hands are on his hip, gripping hard as he’s jerked to meet Andrew’s rough thrusts. He’s going to have bruises tomorrow but they’ll all be worth it, each and every one.

“You’re so tight,” Andrew growls against his throat, teeth coming out to nip at the sensitive skin only to lap at it with his tongue.

Neil’s only reply is a whine as Andrew pulls back out of him, only to slam into him again. This all borders on too much good to bear and he can feel his second orgasm rising up, his skin tingling from all of the pleasure he has received tonight.

But then Andrew shifts his hips and manages to slide in deeper, hitting his prostrate head on and Neil thinks he has gone blind as white flashes across his vision. He’s not sure if he cried out or not, but he’s for sure he does when Andrew doesn’t stop hitting the spot.

“Are you going to come?” Andrew asks, sliding a hand in between their bodies to squeeze his cock, thumb swiping over the tip. “Come for me, Neil.”

He does, and he comes hard. He back arches off the bed for the second—third? —time that night, head thrown back as he comes around Andrew’s cock. The man doesn’t give him time to breathe as he fucks into him with abandon, mouth sliding over his to taste every gasp and pant.

It’s not long before Andrew’s hips still and he’s cumming too.

Fuck,” Andrew groans, pulling back to look at Neil’s blissed out faced. “Are you all right?”

“Better than all right,” Neil answers, a sleepy smile working its way on his lips. “Sleepy now, but I feel amazing. How about you?”

Andrew pulls out of him slowly, a sensation that leaves him feeling empty and a need to be full again. Neil waits for an answer, watching his boyfriend take off the condom and tie it up before sliding off the bed. He’s still waiting for an answer when Andrew leaves the room and comes back with a damp towel.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” The confession is low and quiet as Andrew wipes his stomach. “But I wanted to wait until you were ready to even do anything.”

“I’ve been ready ever since you broke Riko’s wrist for me.” The honesty seems to startle Andrew, eyes flicking up to meet his and for a minute Neil thinks he’s ruined the moment. But then the man smiles, only a little one, but it’s still enough to make Neil feel at ease.

“Come on, let’s get some sleep. We’re going to need it to deal with Nicky’s questions tomorrow.”

Neil groans at the thought but lifts his body enough to uncover the bed and slip beneath the blankets, waiting for Andrew to slip in before scooting closer. They haven’t gotten too comfortable with cuddling yet, but being in close proximity of each other is good enough for him.

“Good night, Andrew.”

Andrew leans in to kiss him softly and Neil sleeps peacefully for the first time in what feels like forever.

--

Neil is the first one to wake up and to his surprise Andrew’s arm is slung over his waist, holding him close. He probably did it sometime during the night without conscious knowledge and he should move it before he wakes up, but it feels…nice.

He finds himself liking it. He likes how warm he feels right now, likes how Andrew wants to keep him close—even if he did do it in his sleep. It’s nice, though, to just wake up next to someone and know that he doesn’t have to run anymore. Of course he knew that before this point but it still surprises him that he can have this without repercussion.

“I shouldn’t be able to hear you thinking this early in the morning,” Andrew mumbles into his pillow, startling Neil. He looks down to see his boyfriend looking up at him through half open eyes, only the slightest bit of hazel peeking through.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. How’re you feeling, by the way? Are you sore at all?”

Neil begins to stretch, freezing when he remembers Andrew’s arm and he expects the man to move it when his eyes land on the appendage. But he doesn’t. He just tightens his grip and Neil feels a tad foolish about his internal freak out now.

He finishes stretching, his body more comfortable than he thought it would be today. The only place that’s tender is his hips from when Andrew gripped him tight, almost like he can still feel his fingers wrapped around them still. He’s surprised the skin isn’t bruised.

“Not as much as I thought I would be. I feel great, actually.”

Andrew searches his face for any sign of a lie, but just like last night he’s not going to find anything. He reaches a hand out slowly to brush his fingers against the man’s cheek, leaning in to kiss him.

“I’m not lying, Andrew,” he tells his boyfriend as he pulls away. “Last night was great and I loved every minute of it. How are you feeling about it, though?”

Andrew doesn’t answer, just continues to search his face. For a few seconds Neil doesn’t think he’ll answer, but then he slides his hand from his waist up to the back of his head. The movement makes him shiver and Andrew grips the back of his head tighter.   

“If I’m being honest, I want to do all of that again. How about you? Yes or no?”

Neil’s stomach clenches at the thought of having Andrew in him again, having his hands grip at his skin—

Yes.”

Andrew kisses him with the same intensity as last night and Neil lets himself be swept away, body arching to close the space between them. He slides a hand down the front of his boyfriend’s chest, groaning at the fact that Andrew is already half hard in his palm already.

“I should probably go get a condom before we go any further.” But Andrew makes no move to leave, as the hand on the back of his head tugs on his hair. Neil tilts his head back to give Andrew’s tongue and lips room to play. He’s going to have to borrow one of Nicky’s scarves to hide all the marks he is sure to have after today.

“Do we really need a condom?” Neil asks, trying his best to keep a good rhythm on Andrew’s cock. He swipes his thumb over the head and he swears he can feel it twitch in his hand.

“Don’t you think it’s a little too soon for us to be having sex without a condom?”

“I got tested the week after we beat Riko—fuck, Andrew—and I’m clean. What about you?”

“Clean as whistle,” Andrew mumbles against his throat, his breath hitching with every slide of Neil’s hand. “You know, if you keep doing that then this will all be over too soon.”

Neil hums in response, deciding to have mercy on his boyfriend and lets go of his cock, only to hook his leg around Andrew’s and flip them over so he’s sitting on his lap. For a moment he thinks that he might have taken this too far when surprise flashes through Andrew’s eyes, making to slide off immediately.

Andrew’s hands come out quick to grip his hips, fingers digging into his skin to keep him still. If his skin didn’t bruise last night, it’s sure going to bruise now. And he’s okay with it. It’s the first bruise he won’t associate with pain.

“Is this okay?” Neil asks, carefully splaying his hands on Andrew’s chest. He can feel his boyfriend’s hardness pressing against his backside and it takes every ounce of willpower to not grind up against it.

“Ride me.”

A rare smile spreads across Neil’s lips, fingers tracing random lines on his chest as he asks, “What about the condom?”

Fuck the condom.”

He reaches for the lube on the night stand before sitting back on his thighs, never breaking eye contact as he pours some on his fingers. He’s fingered himself before but never in front of anyone and he’s more than a little anxious.

“Maybe I should—”

Neil ignores him as he tosses the lube on the bed, keeping one hand braced on Andrew’s chest and brings the other hand back towards his hole. He’s a little surprised when his first finger slips in so easily, though he should have expected that since they had sex several hours ago.

But what he didn’t expect is that it would feel so good to have his own fingers in him and Andrew watching him like his life depends on it. He slips in a second finger, eyes closing and his mouth falling open as he begins to rock his hips to the time of his fingers.

Fuck, can I ride you now?”

One of Andrew’s hands slides from his hips, wrapping it around his wrist and tugging until Neil slides his fingers out—only to slip two of his fingers in right away.

“You asshole,” Neil moans, clenching his teeth together in an effort to keep himself quiet. The rest of the team are mostly likely awake since it’s morning now. “That’s not even fair.”

Andrew doesn’t respond, just continues to twist and slide his fingers. He’s already so hard, precum dripping from his tip and onto Andrew’s stomach. He tries to figure out if he should be okay with that, even if Andrew doesn’t seem to mind, but he doesn’t get to decide because his boyfriend slides in a third finger and hits his prostrate head on.

Neil feels his hips jumping at the motion, choking at the moans that threaten to spill out.

“Now you’re ready.”

That smug bastard. Even though there’s no smile on his face, he knows that Andrew is proud to reduce him to a mess but he can do the same.

“You asked for it.”

Neil maneuvers himself so he’s over the tip of his boyfriend’s cock, never looking away from him as he sinks himself down. It’s a bit easier, but he’s still so tight that he has to slide down inch by inch. It also feels different without a condom, the feeling is something he can’t explain but it’s rawer. There’s no barrier between them like there was last night, and it just feels better to him.

“How are you still so tight?” Andrew grits out, hands back to gripping his hips. Neil gives an experimental roll of his hips in answer, his own hands curled into fists on Andrew’s chest. He keeps rolling his hips to try and get himself used to the feel of his boyfriend’s cock inside of him—he’d be lying to himself if he said it wasn’t doing it just to watch the man’s face scrunch up in frustration—

“Are you ever going to fucking move, Neil?”

“I am moving,” he teases, meeting Andrew’s blank stare head on before lifting his hips and then dropping back down. The movement is surprisingly easy, and as a bonus it makes his boyfriend moan, so there’s that. “Oh, you meant that kind of movement? Why didn’t you just say so?”

Andrew doesn’t look amused, not that Neil expected him to.

“Do you want me to move again?”

“I need you to keep moving, otherwise I’m going to flip you over.”

“Oh?” Neil purrs, leaning forward to hover over Andrew’s lips. He keeps his hips moving at a sluggish pace and the movement sends waves of pleasure coursing through him. “Is that a threat?”

“No, it’s a promise.” He lifts his head the rest of the way and kisses Neil, using the distraction to hold Neil steady as he turns them over. “Gotta be quicker than that.”

Neil can’t help but huff out a laugh at the ridiculous excuse, but he can’t say that he minds. Not when Andrew starts moving.

His pace doesn’t start out slow like it did last night. Andrew doesn’t give him much time to adjust before he starts move, making him choke on a moan. The pace doesn’t give him much time to breathe—that’s all right because this is what he imagined when he thought about having sex with Andrew.

Yeah, there would be times when sex will be gentle and loving, but he finds himself craving this rough pace. Neil knows that if he told Andrew to stop at any point where it all becomes too much, he will. He’ll stop in mid thrust and pull out right away just to make sure that he’s all right, but Neil doesn’t want to.

When he can barely sit later, it won’t be because his father beat him—it’ll be because of the pleasure he has received from Andrew.

Andrew’s hands grip under his knees, pushing them up until his knees are almost touching his head. The new angle allows for his boyfriend to go deeper and Neil swears it’s the best feeling ever. His fingers scramble for the wooden bedframe behind him, gripping it tightly as Andrew begins to snap his hips even faster.

“Oh fuck, Andrew.” At this point he doesn’t care if his team is lurking outside the door, this is borderline amazing. Above him Andrew is biting his lip to keep his own sounds in but there’s not much he can do to keep some of his moans contained.

It’s not long before Andrew’s hips begin to lose rhythm and Neil can feel his own orgasm approaching quickly.

“Will you come inside of me?” Neil groans out, shoving his face in the crook of his arm at the embarrassing question. Why did he even ask that and is it too late to take it back?

“Look at me.”

His voice is deep and rough, the sound of it makes him weak as he does what Andrew says. When he turns his head away from his arm, Andrew kisses him so deeply that Neil feels like the breath is knocked out of him. It’s not exactly a bad feeling.

“Is that what you want?” Andrew asks quickly before diving back in for another kiss that leaves him feeling lightheaded and weak. “Because I’ll gladly give it to you.”

If it’s even possible Andrew’s hips move quicker but there’s a senseless rhythm to it, close to his limit. Neil is close to his too and he takes one hand off the headboard and wraps it around his cock, stroking himself in time with his boyfriend’s movements.

It’s not long before he’s coming, the warmth of his orgasm spreading through his body. He can feel himself clench around Andrew’s cock, the tightness of the movements making his body jerk with the aftershocks of his orgasm.

His boyfriend fucks into him without abandon now, every movement leaving him more and more breathless. His nerves are becoming overly sensitive but that’s okay. It’s feels great and he finds himself craving more.

Shit,” Andrew hisses as he presses his face into Neil’s neck, hips pushing into his and teeth coming out to sink into the area between his shoulder and collarbone. The sensation of being filled with Andrew’s cum is a weird one but he can’t say he doesn’t like it—his body feels like it’s on fire.

They are both panting and trying to find their breath, but it’s a little difficult to do, especially when his nerves feel so blown out.

“You’re amazing,” Neil breathes, letting his other hand fall from the headboard. “God, you’re amazing.”

Andrew huffs out a laugh, the hot air on the teeth marks making him squirm. He’s going to have to use Nicky’s scarves for sure now—and he’s the one with a neck infatuation, not the other way around.

“I didn’t hurt you did I? You didn’t feel uncomfortable at all?”

Andrew guides his legs back down to the bed, eyes lingering on the marks on his skin. Neil reaches for a hand and brings it up to place it against his throat. It’s the place with the most marks, but he also likes the feel and the weight of his hand against it. The next time they have sex he’ll ask for him to squeeze, but for right now they both need a shower and something to eat.

“Trust me, Andrew, if you ever do something I don’t want then I will let you know about it, but I trust you. You know that.”

They stay like that for a few more seconds, Andrew’s eyes on Neil’s while his hand stays placed on his throat.

“Come on, we both need a shower and I’m starving. Plus, we both have homework to do before dinner at Wymack’s tonight.”

“Do you want to shower together?”

Neil catches the glint in Andrew’s eyes and this has to be the most he has smiled in a day. He doesn’t mind the change though, not when it keeps Andrew’s interest.

“I’d thought you’d never ask.”

They managed to use up all the hot water. Nicky was not a happy camper.

--

Dinner at Wymack’s is once in a blue moon. It’s not that he doesn’t want them over, it’s—okay, it’s that he doesn’t want them over. It’s only when Abby agrees to come as well do these dinners happen, but Neil wishes that this dinner could have waited a couple more weeks.

It's not that he’s sore or that every movement reminds him of the fact that Andrew had been in him only hours before, it’s that his teammates seem to be sneaking looks at him. He doesn’t think he looks any different, and he knows for a fact that they can’t see any of the marks Andrew has given him. So why do they keeping stealing glances at him like he can’t notice?

“I think they know,” he whispers to Andrew. He’s sitting on his lap on the couch, something they’ve only recently started doing especially when there’s no room to sit anywhere else.

“I assume we’ll make someone very rich then.”

“My bet is on Allison. She always knows when something’s up.”

Andrew’s hands are resting against his hips, his skin still seeming to tingle with the memory of those fingers digging in. It makes him want to squirm which he knows he shouldn’t, he’s in front of an audience. But with the way Andrew is moving his thumb in small circles he might as well be back in the bedroom.

“You’re not helping the situation,” Neil hisses, trying his best to keep his hips still. “Nicky is looking this way.”

Andrew’s hands stop their movements but his touch might as well have been a brand since he can still feel it. Now he knows why his mother never let him get close to anyone. This feeling is addicting.

“How long do we have to stay here before it’s deemed acceptable to leave?”

Neil turns back to look at Andrew, lifting an eyebrow in question.

“Dinner isn’t even ready yet and you want to leave?”

Someone won’t sit still, and let’s be honest. This is the first time I’ve wanted sex in a long time. My libido isn’t exactly…low.”

Neil tries to hide his smile but it’s hard. It’s taken a while, and Neil knows that all the wounds in Andrew have not healed, but this is the biggest hurdle yet. He’s just happy to be the one here now—that he’s the one who walked into Andrew’s life and got a chance to stay there.

He tugs at his lip with his teeth, trying to decide if having sex at coach’s house is crossing a line.

Fuck it.

“Meet me in the bathroom. I’ll take care of it for you.”

Andrew’s hands slide from his hips, an obvious agreement to his request. He ignores the stares of his teammates, watches as Matt’s hand flies out to grip Dan’s wrist as she attempts to stand from her spot on the floor.

She doesn’t look angry though, just mildly concerned which he guesses is a good thing. Even Wymack is staring at him like he’s hiding something again so he hurries his steps toward the bathroom, making sure to shut the door as lightly as he can. Slamming it on accident will only create more curiosity and more questions. He doesn’t have time to deal with that.

Not when his nerves are eating him up. People are going to know that they are up to something when Andrew leaves for the bathroom too, but maybe he can use the excuse that he’s worried. It wouldn’t be the first time his boyfriend has been ‘worried’ about him, so they might buy it.

So he waits.

And it feels like an eternity before the door opens and Andrew slips in, but it only takes a few seconds before he’s kissing Neil breathless against the bathroom sink.

“So how are you going to take care of this problem?” Andrew takes the moment to grind his hips into Neil’s, making the younger man bite his lip to keep his moans at bay.

“I’ll show you.”

Neil manages to slip away from Andrew, circling around him until he’s the one backed up against the sink and Neil’s the one dropping to his knees. His fingers curl around the waistband of his boyfriend’s jeans, leaning forward slowly to give Andrew time to reject the idea.

Yes,” he growls, reaching out a hand to run it through Neil’s hair and that’s where it stays. He doesn’t let the fact that this is the first blow job distract him as he tugs on Andrew’s jeans until his cock comes free. He can’t believe his boyfriend is this hard already and that it’s all because of him.

He flicks out his tongue to swipe at the bead of precum forming at the tip, moaning quietly at the taste. This the first time he gets to taste Andrew and it’s better than he imagined. Neil wraps a hand around the base of his cock as he pops the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. He has no idea what he’s doing, but Andrew seems to be enjoying it so he knows he’s doing something right.

Andrew’s thumb sweeps across his forehead before pushing his hair back away from his face, and Neil keeps eye contact when he slides his boyfriend’s cock further into his mouth. There’s only so far he can go before the tip hits the back of his throat and he has fight against his gag reflex, but he makes due with what he can.

The hand wrapped around Andrew’s cock twists and turns while his mouth and tongue work just as hard. The fingers in his hair tighten and Neil moans at the sensation, the vibration of the sound making his boyfriend hiss.

“Oh fuck, don’t stop.”

Neil doesn’t plan to as he hollows out his mouth and sucks, whimpering as the fingers in his hair tighten even more. It’s on the borderline of painful but he doesn’t pull away. It’s not a bad feeling nor does it bring up any horrible memories from his childhood, in fact, he wants more of it.

His own hips are moving now, his legs shaking, and he’s whimpering against Andrew’s cock. He wants more of it as heat pools in his stomach, his free hand pulling Andrew’s hips closer to him. He doesn’t dare pull himself out of his jeans. It would be too messy and he wouldn’t be able to catch all of his cum in time.

“Neil.” A warning, but he doesn’t pull back. All he does is hum in response, Andrew’s fingers twitch in his hair. “If you don’t stop—”

Neil ignores him, tongue swirling around his cock and fingers providing more stimulation to the base. He wants this. He wants to taste all of Andrew so when those fingers try to pull him away, he stays put until he feels the man still.

It’s not a bad taste, but he didn’t expect there to be so much. He chokes on it a bit as he pulls away, but none of it leaves his mouth.

Neil wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he stands, watching Andrew catch his breath and before he knows it he’s being flipped around and lifted onto the bathroom sink.

“Andrew, you don’t have to, that’s not why I—”

Andrew’s fingers are already unbuttoning his jeans, tugging the fabric down until his own cock is free. It’s already so hard and leaking freely. He had no idea he was that worked up.

“I know, but I want to. Can’t have you go out with a hard-on.”

Andrew slid his tongue around the head of Neil’s cock and his mouth falls open in a silent moan, hands scrabbling to find some kind of leverage. His movements are slow and controlled, taking his time to drive Neil absolutely crazy and unlike Neil he knows how to control his gag reflex to take him whole.

He has to bite his lip to keep himself from crying out as he’s enveloped in tight heat, but Andrew doesn’t stop there. Neil feels his boyfriend’s fingers slip past his balls to circle at his hole, still sensitive after all the attention it’s received.

Jesus, Andrew,” he groans softly, hands flying to grip at Andrew’s hair. His fingers move in slow circles, pushing softly at the muscle as his tongue swipes against his head and that’s all it takes. His orgasm comes hard and fast, not giving him any time to warn Andrew before he comes in his mouth.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says quickly, watching Andrew pull back. “I just wasn’t expecting your fingers and it was really too much stim—”

Andrew cuts him off with a kiss, something that should be completely unsanitary but somehow really hot.

“I came in your mouth first, Josten. I think it’s only fair that you do the same.”

Neil huffs out a laugh, pushing against Andrew until he takes a step back and he can hop to pull up his pants up. He watches his boyfriend do the same.

“Is it all right to leave now?”

Andrew wasn’t kidding about his libido. Holy shit.

“Tell you what.” Neil slides his hands up Andrew’s chest, linking his fingers behind his neck. “If you make it through this dinner, I’ll let you kick Keven and them out of our room again tonight and we can go for however long we want. Sound like a deal?”

Andrew’s eyes turn dark from his words and Neil knows he has won when his boyfriend nods his head.

“Good, because I’m starving and need some food before any more activity. Plus, Abby’s cooking smells amazing right now and if I don’t get some I’m going to be upset.”

“And we wouldn’t want that.”

There’s a sense of sarcasm in those words that Neil rolls his eyes at, leaning in to give his boyfriend a quick kiss.

“No, we wouldn’t. Otherwise that libido of yours won’t get satisfied tonight.”

Neil moves back from Andrew, laughing when the man pulls him in for another kiss. There might have been a lot of bumps and cracks in their path when they first started this relationship, and they both know that they still have a long way to go, but for now Neil is more than happy with their situation.

“All right, all right. Let’s get out there before they think we’ve run away.”

Andrew gives him one last kiss before letting Neil go, both of them coming out of the bathroom together—just in time for them to see their teammates handing Allison money.

Neil stops in his tracks to look at Andrew, who in turn looks unimpressed by the exchange. All he can do is shake his head at this point and say, “Called it.”

Notes:

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