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Self harm. Zane had always struggled with it. He's always been depressed, and into self harm. Wren has tried to stop him, but he never listened. It's his way of escaping— besides drugs. He was always scared of drugs, because he never actually wanted to die. He just had the feeling of dying, yet he didn't want to die. Was it because of wren? Probably.. Zane is in his house, sitting on the bathroom floor. He wants to shower, but he only likes to cut himself before a shower. Since the blood is so hard to clean, he likes to just wash it off in the shower. But, wren texts.
"You want to hang out?" Sematary just reads it. He's upset, but doesn't want to ignore his friend. He texts back a small yes, but just washes himself off instead of showering. He drives to wrens house, hoping he would crash. He smokes a cigarette on the way, but doesn't want Wren to think hes drunk so he just tries to get the bottle out of his mind. He arrives in the driveway, his hearse never really fit in the driveway. Wren is waiting on the porch, and he leans against the house, smoking. Zane never really liked when wren smoked. He's always had a thing for him, but he never really did anything about it. Just trying to push it off his mind, because he never really knew if wren was gay or not. He didn't want to be gay either. He's not homophobic, but he just doesn't want to disappoint his parents. He doesn't want to disappoint anyone around him. (Nobody around him is homophobic, neither is his parents. In his mind, everyone is hateful towards him. Neither does he know if they would still like him?) He's tried to date girls, but he's never felt anything like he's felt for Ghost mountain. Sematary sighs, and puts out his cigarette on his arm; then shoves his sleeve back down. He gets out of the car, and goes to meet him.
"Hey... How are you?"
"Um.. ok.. how are you?" Sematary gets shy, and thinks in his head that his friend actually cares about him. He wants to hug him, but decides off of it since he doesn't want to hug him for no reason. Wren leads him in, he's always been a slob. His house is always super messy, so whenever Zane spends the night he cleans up when ghost mountain is sleeping. Ghost mountain walks around and praises him for this, so it makes Zane super happy. But they hadn't hugged in such a long time. Zane always thinks about this, and even whenever he's done cleaning he gets in bed with him and snuggles him, but in the morning he says he "must've slept walked."
"So what would you like to do?" Ghost mountain sits on the couch, then leads sematary to sit next to him. Zane sits a little close to him, but for some reason wren doesnt move away. "I don't know ... You called me here, yeah? Did you not have something planned?" It seems like wren has gotten prettier since the last time they spoke. His face looks so sweet and soft to Zane, he wants to hold him and kiss him. Except— he's not allowed. He thinks about doing it tonight, and even plans it. "I.. well, let's just watch a movie?" Sematary gets a little shy, but nods. They just pick a movie, then sit together very close. Zane gets shocked that wren doesn't move away, and he even lays his head on his shoulder. Wren doesn't move away, he doesn't even look down at him. Except, wren puts his hand on his thigh. Zane really gets surprised by this, but they never say a word. Zane feels like kissing him now... He has to, right? They're already so close
.......
He does it. Right on his mouth, but wren gets really shocked and pulls away quickly. He doesn't seem disgusted, infact he actually looks like he liked it a little. "Wha-What the hell, man? Why would you..." Sematary breathes heavy, but doesn't take his eyes off of him. "I'm really sorry... I'm sorry, wren.." Wren doesn't do anything, besides kiss him back. This is zanes first kiss, so is wrens. Zane is even happy he kissed his one true love, and the one he knows has gonna stay with for the rest of his life. Wren puts his hand on zanes face. He never minded his face, he thought it was pretty. Like a girls face. He never wanted to admit this, since sematary always talked about how feminine he looks, and how much he hated it. Wren loves it. Sematary pulls him closer, and kisses him more. But eventually, wren pulls away. He's always had trouble breathing, and kissing just wouldn't be his thing. For too long, that is. "I.. I'm sorry I ju-" "Just... Stop.. okay?" Sematary buries his head in ghost mountains shoulder, and cries. He's been feeling this way for years now, but he finally can be with him. Sematary cries of pent up sadness, and pent up .. everything. He occasionally goes up to sniffle and just look at him. And look into his eyes, and kiss him again. While this happens, wren just pets his head. It's the most touch he's had in a while, and the most magical feeling touch he's ever had. His hand feels so warm on his head, and so comforting for Zane.
They sit there, in each others arms for the longest time. Even especially after the movie ended. They fall asleep together on the couch, but sematary doesn't get a chance to clean this time since he was sobbing and just wrapped tightly in ghost mountains arms. Sematary has always had weird fantasies about Wren. He's never wanted to admit it, but he usually got off to them. And wren in general. He's always thought he was disgusting, and usually cut himself and drank himself away after masturbating. Since he thought he was so gross, especially since wren was his friend and he thought that was just too much. But they've talked about it before, (as friends... Shouldn't??) and wren is even into the same stuff he is. Zane has always thought this pleasurable, since they'd be able to do so much together. But wren felt the same way, now Zane knows. He's happy this all worked out, and didn't want to stop being friends with him if he confessed earlier. Wren has always felt the same way, and never wanted to confess either. So he was super relieved when zane kissed him, he's been wanting to do it since forever. When they wake up, sematary lies on top of wren. Sematary is very self conscious about his weight, so he quickly shifts off, but wren pulls him back on. "I'm too much. I shouldn't- I'll crush you. I don't want to do that." Wren squeezes him, "No you won't. Don't say that... I enjoy your weight on top of me ... I like the feeling..." Sematary shifts back to fully on top of him, but seriously thinks he's squishing him. But, he realizes his sleeves are up.. "What? Why do you... Zane... What? What happened?" Ghost mountain thought he quit cutting himself. Zane quickly hides it, but wren already saw. "It's nothing." "No. It's not nothing." Wren fights him, to pull his sleeve back up, but sematary hits him and fights back. Eventually, he stops fighting and just lets him see.. he doesn't want to hit him too much, although he enjoyed hitting him and he enjoyed seeing him hurt... Wren looks at him with wide eyes, but not completely disgusted. Infact, not disgusted at all. He mainly just wants to know why he would even do this to himself. "Why.. Bunny?" The nickname makes Zane flinch. "I just.. Wanted to.. I don't know what you want me to say. I can't help myself. I'm gross, why do you like me?" "I like you because you're pretty. I like you because..." He puts his hands on his face, and drops his arm. Sematary moves to cover it, but he gets stopped. "I like you because of your personality, I like your body, I like your face, I like everything about you. Everything about you brings me joy and satisfaction. Even your scars, and your bad habits. Even.. Everything you can think of." Zane just looks away, and blushes some. He kisses wren, not really knowing what to say to that. He thought he was disgusting, and gross and nobody could ever love him because of his looks and how he acts. They lay there for a little, and Sematary cries again. That he could actually be loved, and he loves them back. Rather, they just love him and he doesn't like them at all. Sematary cries, and wren hugs him and caresses his face. He's not ashamed of crying Infront of ghost mountain, they do trust each other a lot. After, they fall back asleep. Sematary thinks of what wren said, and he thinks he's in heaven. There's nobody or anything to change his mind, he sleeps in Wrens arms and feels like paradise.
Later, they are eating together. It's the first meal sematarys had in a few days, sematary hates eating. He hates eating because of his weight, but he isn't really that fat anyway to even be doing that. Wren doesn't know, and he never will know. But, it'll be hell for him to eat every single day, and multiple times a day. He already gags, not because of the taste, because he hates eating. He actually thinks ghost mountains food is the best thing he's ever eaten in his whole life. After breakfast, they try to watch a movie again. But they can't focus on anything, but eachother. They're both the most happiest they've been in their lives, since they're finally both with each other. They play fight, but sematary was never good at that. He would usually hit too hard on accident, so it would end in the other person getting hurt. Ghost mountain doesn't matter if he's hurt. He likes being hurt. Especially by sematary. They once got in a fight, (really) and sematary hit him really hard. He just... Liked that... A LOT. He even masturbated when sematary left. He doesn't remember what the fight was about even, just that he really liked it. Especially being hit by sematary just did it, he doesn't really like to be hit all the time, he just likes it when he feels like it. Sometimes it makes him angry, sometimes it turns him on. But mostly when Sematary does it, it turns him on. Everyone else who hits him, he gets really angry. Sematary doesn't mind hitting him. A part of him doesn't want to hit and hurt him, since he loves him too much. But a part of him just loves it. He loves seeing his sweet face writhe in pain, and he loves the small noises he makes if he hurts him too hard. He loves to cut him, and kick him. Just something about it, and how his body naturally reacts to it is so arousing to him. They finish that, since the movie is over. They just take a walk, sematary doesn't really want to go home just yet. He never wants to go home ever again. Why would he want to leave? He's in heaven. They go out to the forest in the backyard, since ghost mountain lives on farm land. They walk, and talk about everything. About how long sematary has liked him, about how long wren has liked Zane. About ... Everything they couldn't tell each other before. But, they sit, halfway into the forest. The sun is setting, they could've sworn it was fully light out when they went out. "I um... I want to try something." Ghost mountain gets shy, and looks away when he says that. Sematary has stopped talking, but he looks back at him; confused. "Umm.. yeah, what is it?" "Can you stand up?" He stands, but still very confused... Then shocked .... Then aroused when he gets in prayer position... "Wren.. what are you ...." "Lord ... he stutters, clearly very embarrassed I submit myself to you, I submit my mind and body to you. Zane, I submit my heart and devotion to you. Thank you for all you've done for me, I shall devote my mind to thee. Everything... That's mine... Is yours. I'd like to ask for forgiveness, as ive sinned...." During this, sematary just looks down at him... He does get turned on by this, but he lights a cigarette. He doesn't know how to respond... But he decides to be bold. "Everything.. is mine. Everything about you, is mine now. Yeah?" Ghost mountain looks up at him, a little surprised. "Why, of course, lord." Sematary pulls a cutter knife from his pocket, and unravels the blade. He doesnt want to smoke the cigarette anymore, since he's in a situation now. He gets the feeling to put it out on wren, so he does. Now theres a small circle burn on his arm, ready to stay there for a while. He'll take care of it later, but right now he doesn't really care. Ghost mountain whines, and flinches a little, but doesnt seem too in pain that he doesn't want it. Sematary pushes wren down with his foot, and gets directly on top of him. He doesn't care if he crushes him, anyway he doesn't think about that anymore because of what wren said earlier. That really got to him... It made him, feel the best he's ever felt. And he's about to change that spot. Wren whimpers, but he doesn't NOT want it.. Zane lifts up wrens shirt, and takes a big deep breath before finally putting the blade to his tummy. Wren flinches a little, and sits up to see what he's doing. The cold blade, mixed with the cold air, yet Zane so warm is all mixing together with him horribly. Zane starts to slowly cut him, making sure he feels everything. Blood drips off of the wound, he cuts deep. He wants to leave a lasting mark on wren. Whenever he's done with one letter, he takes a little bit to look and see if wren is doing okay and leans down to lick the blood. Wren whines and braces himself for next cut. This all is strangely intimate, since it's all so close and slow. But they both would be lying if they said they weren't completely turned on by now.. Zane finishes it. He didn't do the best job, he's not that good at carving. It spells: "ZaNE STEcKLEr" Ghost mountain looks down at it, and his breath hitches. It's not bleeding anymore, since Zane licked it all. It's all puffy and the skin around it is red, from the constant moisture brought into it. It's irritated. But not wren. Wrens irritated.. in a different way. When sematarys done, he licks the blade and then just looks at wren looking at him. This is the most bold and hot thing he's ever done. Wren is thrilled a piece of sematary is marked onto him forever. Wren is thrilled sematary cut him.. He doesnt even care about the bad lettering. It in general, turns him on. "Um..." Sematary wanted to stay silent forever, but he just couldn't resist. He's very embarrassed to say anything, considering what he did. Ghost mountain doesn't speak, besides kissing him. Sematary pushes it to be deeper, so they kiss more deeper. Ghost mountain doesn't complain, he likes being treated like this. He likes everything sematary does to him, he wouldn't care if he wanted something more.
And he does. Since Zane saw (saw...) how much he liked it, he finishes undressing him. But, it's very slow. Despite wren wanting something more faster and less intimate; rougher, Zane wants it slow. It's their first time, he wants to take his time. They shouldn't so early into dating, but they've known each other for so long, and have both liked each other for so long. Sematary gets self conscious about taking his clothes off, since he hates his body. But wren takes it off for him, since he's a little impatient... But when his clothes are all off, they both stare in awe how beautiful the other is. Wren cries, but sematary doesn't really understand since he thinks he's gross and fat. Wren sits up and hugs him, and he caresses wrens face. "I'm so glad we're doing this.. I've never felt anything like this before. I just want you, and you only... I can't believe... everything now." Zane speaks softly, and it's the softest wrens ever heard him speak. "I'm everything with you, and nothing without you." Sematary spits on himself, to get ready for wren. He rubs himself, then gets off of wren and puts wrens legs up. But, he softly caresses them and doesn't let go as he starts to push in. He lets wrens leg go over his shoulder, wren was always tall. But not as tall as sematary. Ghost mountain whines a little, "Is everything okay...?" He nods, so sematary pushes in a little further. It hurts a lot for wren, but wren doesn't mind. With that, he keeps pushing in until he just reaches the point where he can't anymore. He doesn't really know what to do, so he just keeps himself there. Zane looks at wrens face, and he looks so sweet. He's fully in him now, so wren whimpers a little. "Is everything okay? Really.. I won't keep going if it hurts too much..." "No.. Everything's okay.. Just keep going, please" Sematary is weary, but slowly starts to go in n out. He doesn't want to hurt ghost mountain, so he doesn't go quick yet. Ghost mountain whines, but Zane doesn't know if it's from pain or pleasure... Mostly likely, it's both. But wren doesn't mind.. he likes it. He likes being so close to sematary, he loves it even. Sematary whines, but doesn't stop yet. He leans in further, so he can touch wrens waist and graze his finger on the scars he made earlier. This still pleasures him, that his name will be in wren forever. Even if they leave each other, his name will always be in him. Like a tattoo almost. Sematary goes a little quicker, but not a lot quicker. He doesn't want to hurt him, and he wants his first time to be romantic. He doesn't really like really quick stuff anyway, he wants to feel everything. And this is killing ghost mountain, he wants to feel nothing like every time he's touched himself. He just wants to be quick. Well, so did Zane. But, since he's now having sex for real, he wants to feel everything. But wren isn't complaining, he realizes how much he likes this... Zane whines, and every time he hits a certain spot he whines a little louder and tightens his grip on wrens waist. They both whine together, but wren whimpers louder. Since he's the one actually feeling everything. He holds onto sematarys hand for support, and wants him to touch him more but he doesn't want to take away the romance by being too overstimulated. Sematary thinks about this too, it's almost like they think the same things. They're into the same things, and they're both just made for each other. Zane gets overstimulated a little when wren kisses him, so he almost thinks about releasing there... "Zane I... I just.." Wren spills, all over his tummy. Zane wide eyes, but he didn't spill over yet so he goes quicker. He whimpers, and whines wrens name over and over again.. as, he also rubs his waist. Wren whinces, as it starts to hurt more since he's being pushed into at a faster rate. But... He doesn't NOT hate it. Sematary holds ghost mountains hand tighter, and then spills all in wren.. he should've pulled out, probably.. but it's okay. And ghost mountain doesn't care.. They both whimper, and Sematary breathes really heavy. He just stays there, and pants heavy... After he calms down a little, "Is everything.. okay?" Ghost mountain nods, and breathes heavy aswell. He grips onto sematarys hand tighter, as sematary pulls out. "You're so beautiful. Seriously, I don't think I've seen another guy so beautiful as you .... I'm sorry.." "Everything's okay, I just ... I love you ... I can't believe all of this, even..." Sematary slowly dresses ghost mountain, and in general treats him very gently. He dresses himself too, as wren seems very tired after this. He picks him up, like a baby, and walks him back to the house. "I could walk myself, yeah?" When home, Zane lays him on the bed, then puts up water to his mouth and forces him to drink it. Ghost mountain chokes a little, at such force. Zane doesn't really know how to be gentle, no one's ever really been gentle to him. But, after they fall asleep. Since they're both tired.
"Wake up.. okay? It's already 1PM." Wren slowly opens his eyes, to see Sematary leaning over him. "What?" Sematary nudges him, and he sits up. "I just want to see your wounds, okay?" Wren nods, and Zane lifts up wrens shirt. The wound has already closed a little, since wren had time to rest. Sematary grazes his finger over it, and traces the letters he made just yesterday. "It's so beautiful, don't you think? The mark I made on you.." "I think so, it's the best mark I've ever gotten..." Sematary looks shy, and looks away a little. He keeps caressing him, since that's what brings him the most comfort. It's scary to think he was going to kill himself soon. Now he probably won't, everything went find for him. Ghost mountain brings his hands to zanes face. "Is everything okay? Really?" Zane looks at him, but then looks away, "Why are you asking?" "You know why I'm asking." Sematary looks back at him, and nuzzles his face into wrens hands a little. "Well... No. Not really, I just... This music thing has been stressing me out a lot, Im trying to find a job... I just... I don't have any friends.... He breathes heavy I thought you were being distant to me... I just... I'm fat, I can't do anything... Why won't you let me die?" Wren gets a little shocked, and taken aback. "Um.. Well, you make wonderful music... Seriously. I've never heard anything better. Your voice is so beautiful, that's why I think so. Not just that, you make such good beats too... You're such a good producer... You aren't that fat, I noticed you were struggling to eat... Just... Try to quit, please? You weren't fat in general, and If you don't have any friends, I'm still your friend, okay? Nothing can come inbetween us... I don't want you to die, if you want to die, lts die together, okay? Try to stop the bad habits... Please?" He touches his face more, and lightly kisses him a little as he sees him start to cry again. Sematary has never received such kindness, especially from someone he loved. He's always been called a weirdo, and fat, and he's always been suicidal. He's never felt such happiness, and such love for someone. Ever. Now he suddenly doesn't feel so bad, and doesn't feel suicidal. Everything feels better now.