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"I- I thought we were friends-"
Vox's words still echoed in Alastor's mind as he prowled on the streets of pentagram city, the crestfallen expression he had made still haunted his waking thoughts. Why had he looked so hurt when he's the one who wanted to put an end to their friendship by turning it into a professional relationship?
He didn't want to think anymore, didn't want to remember the rest of the fight.
Guilt was a painful feeling, making him feel bad for lashing out at Vox for his ridiculous proposal, to protect his own feelings. Better to sever things immediately rather than let them fester. With a tired thunderous expression, Alastor entered the closest bar he could find, a crummy cramped place that smelled like humidity and puke, nowhere he Vox would go in his right mind.
Sitting down at the counter, glaring at a crusted stain on the wood next to his arm, the sinner ordered a whiskey -they didn't have any. With a sneer, Alastor asked what was the strongest thing they had and was given a glass of suspicious sewer green alcohol. Wary, he picked it up and brought it to his nose, the smell of alcohol pungent, with no other foul smell. His nose wrinkled in distrust, but nevertheless he downed the glass in one gulp, his throat burning up.
The drink didn't have much taste and it rose to his head quickly, dulling his sharp mind, so he ordered another, a third, a fourth.
As he was drowning his sorrows, a shorter man sat next to him at the bar. At first, Alastor didn't pay him any mind, simply glancing over once since white was an unusual colour to wear in hell. However, after his fifth drink, the other demon spoke up. "Yeesh, what happened to you?" Face hot because of the alcohol, his head heavy and light all at once, the deer answered, slightly slurring his voice. "Why would you care," he stated, propping his chin in his hand, his dazed eyes fluttering to the man. "You look like you're trying to drink yourself to death!" the demon in white answered, removing his tall top hat. Chuckling, Alastor replied "Wouldn't that be fun!" Then, he eyed the empty appletini glasses in front of his interlocutor. "You don't look that much better yourself!"
Rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed, Lucifer admitted "My wife asked to open up our mariage a few years ago..." Taking another sip of his gut-wrenching alcohol, the overlord scoffed. "Seems a bit late to wallow in self-pity now!" Nodding, ashamed, the devil added "I agreed because I didn't want to upset my wife, but I felt so bad each time she went out..." As he spoke, he'd made himself smaller and smaller, his voice barely a whisper by the end. Slightly amused, Alastor was still staring at this little man. Since the deer still looked interested in the fallen angel's tale, he went to the bottom of the issue. "The thing is... My wife found out I wasn't meeting other people and kicked me out until I get a date."
Raising an eyebrow, Alastor laughed. "Well, isn't that a treat for you! Go nuts, my fellow sinner!" Feeling wronged, Lucifer kicked his feet and cried out "But I love my wife! I don't need anyone else!"
The devil's tantrum kept going for a few seconds before he gradually grew quiet, whimpering in the crook of his arm. The smaller man's sadness bled into Alastor's, the glum mood he'd tried to keep at bay returned full force. Gulping down the rest of his drink, the alcohol loosening his lips, the emotions he'd buried surfaced and he confessed "I... I thought I'd made a friend. Turns out he only wanted to use me for my strength and fame."
Raising his head, Lucifer looked at the deer, then back at his hands. "It's hard, isn't it, to loose those you trusted." Staring off into the distance, the sinner replied "It's... heartbreaking." Rubbing his temple, Alastor tried regaining his mask of indifference. He motionned for the bartender to fill his glass and he pulled his wallet out of his coat, only to pull out the torn piece of the picture he'd posed for with Vox, the half with the other man on. His eyes dimmed. Awkward, empathetic, the devil asked "What are you going to do now?" A small scoff left the taller man as he raised his filled glass high. "Well, I'm just going to drink until I forget my name!", he cheered.
A little snicker escaped the drunk Lucifer, the deer shooting him a disapproving glance. When he noticed the glare, the fallen angel waved his hands and said "Nothing, it's nothing! I just-" he giggled, his face flushed golden. "I just know another way to make you forget you name" he said suavely.
His ears perking up, Alastor asked "Really? You do?" Flustered, the devil made a goofy expression. "Ah- I guess- I mean..." Thinking out loud, the sinner said "I already tried fighting to death until I passed out, drugs and drinking, but it doesn't really works, it just makes me sadder." Looking at the other demon with sparkling hope in his eyes, the overlord asked "Do you have a different solution?"
Surprised, Lucifer nodded and felt uneasy to explain his crass joke. "I meant sex..."
"..."
"Does it work?"
"Well, my wife always says she can never think of anything other than me when we're... you know."
Sighing, Alastor propped his chin up on his palm. "Yeah, well, it's not like I have anyone to canoodle with..."
Nervously laughing, Lucifer replied "Yeah, it's not like my mariage is open!"
"..."
"..."
In the morning, Alastor tiredly blinked, stretching his arms. Rubbing his eyes, he looked around frowning. The room he was in was unknown to him, with dark pink walls and filth written on the walls.
Oh, yeah, he remembered the weird little guy he'd met at the bar, then their drunken conversation and...
Panicked, the sinner sat up straight, covering his naked fur-covered chest with the bedsheets, disturbing the sleeping man next to him. The short demon awoke, grumbling. Confused, his eyes landed on Alastor, surprise rising on his face. Stunned, the both of them stared into each other's eyes, frozen in place.
Then, the deer fumbled backwards and fell from the bed. While Alastor wrestled his clothes on on the floor, Lucifer sat up on the bed, pointing at the taller man. "YOU MADE ME CHEAT ON MY WIFE!!!" he accused. Equally incensed, the sinner had managed to get his pants and underwear on and stood up, shouting "YOU PROPOSITIONNED ME!!!"
"FUCK YOU!!!" "FUCK YOU !!!"
As they kept shouting at each other (FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!), Alastor progressively got dressed and paused next to the door, straightening his lapels, giving a composed but fiery glance to the fallen angel. "Fuck you!" he said before slamming the door shut behind himself. Outraged, Lucifer made a middle finger at the door.
Brewing in rage, the devil took a quick shower to get the sinner stink off of him and put his clothes back on. Afterwards, he headed for the love hotel's reception. A bored employee was doing the crossword section of the newspaper behind the desk, not bothering to look up when Lucifer cleared his throat loudly. Awkward, he had to wave to get his attention. "Hi, hello, I'm here to pay for my room?" Finally, the employee groaned and shouted "You made me forget the word!" Then, glaring at the short client, he grumbled. taking out the registration book "What? What room is it?"
"Oh, hmm, room 242, I think." Opening the large book, the clerk trailed his fingers on the registration details until they landed on the right one. "Ah, there it is, room 242. Well, it's already been paid for by the gentleman in red."
Taken aback, Lucifer paused, blinking, then he mumbled some vague greeting before teleporting back to his castle.
Feeling bone-tired because of the dread he felt, the devil hesitated to enter his home. After gathering his courage, he crossed the threshold. The large castle was mostly empty, but after a few minutes, Lucifer found his wife in the dining room, eating breakfast. When she noticed her husband had returned, she smirked at him. "Well, someone's been out all night!"
Feeling his remorse clogging his heart, the fallen angel threw himself at his wife's feet, wailing. "I'msosorry,itdidn'tmeananything,I'llneverdoitagain!!!" Blinking, the queen of hell tilted her head. "Why are you apologising? I'm the one who asked you to do it." Not feeling a single bit better, Lucifer's bottom lip wobbled as he rose to his feet again. Curious and mischievous, Lilith asked, wriggling her eyebrows, "So, who was it?"
"Oh," he said, unsure if he should give his wife details about his hook-up. " A red deer? With a weird static voice filter." Pausing, the woman stared at her husband, head empty, then she threw her head back, cackling loudly. "You-! You fucked Alastor?! HAHAHHAHAhahahHAHahahhaHAHHAhAhHahahhaHHah!!!" Confused, Lucifer asked "You know who that is?"
Wiping her tears of laughter, Lilith opened her mouth to answer, but she giggled uncontrollably instead. It took many more minutes for her to calm down enough to speak intelligibly. "he's Alastor, the Radio Demon. I do quite believe you would enjoy his broadcasts!"
To prove her point, she fetched a portable radio receiver and turned it on. A shriek blasted through the room, along with pleas and begs. Stunned, Lucifer stared at the radio. "What... is that?" Pleased, enjoying the screams, Lilith hummed. "He's torturing sinners live on air. Isn't that fun?"
He's torturing sinners?
Giving them the pain that the devil couldn't bestow upon them?
From that day, Lucifer listened to every of Alastor's broadcasts. He liked to hear the anguished shouts of souls, but he loved the bits where the radio host would sing or talk about things, mundane as they were. His complete guide to the best restaurants in the pride ring was delectable, the one for the worst even better. It was easy to understand why the taller man was so popular, the deer's ever growing fandom very large online. From afar, the fallen angel looked upon their theories and their fantasies about the sinner, from his origin story to his body. Some more suggestive discussions about the man made Lucifer queasy, reminding him that sinners were the filth of filth. However, he did find entertainment in the debate about Alastor's tail, those who proudly declared he didn't have one, others hollering (screaming, crying, throwing up) that he absolutely had one.
Seated in his plush chair, distracting himself from both Lilith's and Alastor's disappearances, Lucifer smiled at his phone with his privileged firsthand knowledge. He was aware more than anyone else of the state of the deer's rear.
While he was the middle of creating a back-flipping rubber duck that shoots fire, the fallen angel received a call from his daughter, asking him to come help her out at the hotel.
Overly eager, he rushed over to the hotel, giddy to see Charlie again. After hugging her tightly, his eyes strayed to the side and saw a familiar red sinner. He felt his guts drop and his face fall. Not willing to worry his daughter, Lucifer quickly turned his head around and pretended to be horrified by the green wall. Unfortunately, Alastor decided to pick a fight, cheerfully answering him, the corners of his smile twisted.
Feeling his face heat up in shame, he played along with the deer and pretended not to know him, his heart bleeding as he jabbed back at the taller man's insults.
"I guess that's why Charlie called it the hazbin hotel!"
"Actually, it was my idea!"
"Well, that's not very clever!"
"HAHA! Fuck you!"
After Charlie tried stopping their fight, Alastor began claiming the girl as his daughter, saying that he was a much better father figure than Lucifer could be. While he was singing to Charlie, his red eyes were firmly set on the devil's, daring him to do something. A lump in his throat, he answered in kin, trying to appeal to his daughter as the best possible help for her.
More and more, the two demons got heated and were about to throw hands until the door slammed open and a weird chubby girl interrupted them. Immediately, Alastor forgot about the fallen angel and went to hug the woman. An old acquaintance, it seems. It did make Lucifer feel bitter that the sinner could so easily switch on and off his emotions, something he just couldn't do.
As Alastor slaughtered the loan sharks, the devil made himself scarce, vanishing into the empty hotel hallways. Shortly after he got lost in the twisting and turning paths of red and gold, trying to look for the room he'd been given, a shadow followed Lucifer, the red sinner teleporting in front of him, leaning close with a smirk before straightening his spine, looking down upon him. "Well, well, if it isn't my king" he said sarcastically, checking his nails, his glare deep and angry. "I truly didn't expect you to fool around with sinners so much, being a married man and such."
Snorting, Lucifer had a thought. Wait, had he not know who he was all those years ago? Then he said "Fooling around? You mean when I blew your doors off?!"
Whipping his head around, Alastor sneered at him, leaning down. "Blow my doors? Oh, you don't have the inertia!" Grabbing the sinner's shoulder, the fallen angel bared his sharp teeth. "Wanna bet!" The deer's antlers grew, his neck snapped, his eyes glowed red, green stitches pulled the corner of his lips taunt. "Bring it!"
In the crimson bed, Alastor rubbed his eyes, not daring to look to his side, his fur rubbing against the blankets. Next to him, the king of hell laid naked on his back with a self satisfied expression, his arms crossed behind his head. Their clothes were thrown haphazardly on the ground, the black, red and white clothes mixed on the forest's soft grass. "We have got to stop doing this," the deer stated, sitting up, his hips stinging. Confused, Lucifer glanced at him. "Why?"
Scoffing, Alastor replied "Aren't you going to yell at me and call me a harlot? Are you going to cry home to your wittle wife?" Raising himself onto his elbows, the devil awkwardly answered "Oh, right. Last time, I was..." He sucked on his teeth while he was looking for the right word. "Emotionnally unstable. My wife is fine with it." Then, Lucifer sat up straight as though he'd just remembered something. "Shoot!" he shouted, scrambling for his pants, pulling his cellphone out of his pocket. With a smile, he turned back to the taller man. "Lilith asked me if she could watch us next time we had sex. Could we do another round and film it this time?"
Bewildered, the sinner was silent for a while, the bedsheets pulled up to his fluffy chest, before he said "That's not going to make your wife come back sooner." Nervously, Lucifer laughed. "Haha! You never know..."
"..."
"Absolutely not."
In the shared living room, Lucifer and Alastor were sitting on opposite couches, the sinner drinking tea while reading the newspaper, his legs crossed, while the fallen angel was sitting upside down while reading a novel. There was a comfortable silence between the two of them, a radio playing jazz softly on the table next to the taller man. After a while, the deer's shadow slid from under the door and went to its owner's side, whispering in his ear, the tip of them flickering.
Slowly turning a page, Alastor broke the silence. "Charlie is heading this way with work for us." Closing his eyes, the king of hell whined "But I'm getting to a good part!" Still reading, the radio demon offered "We could do plan F"
Giddily, the princess climbed the stairs towards the living room where she knew her father would be. There were some construction she wanted to do to make the hotel more hospitable for crawling sinners and she needed his help. Also, if she could find Alastor, it would be great because Nifty is too busy signing autographs and she's forgetting to clean. Before she could push the door open, she heard porcelain shatter. "YOU TACKY PIECE OF-"
"OLD TIMER, SHORTY, SHORT STACK, ITTY BITTY TINY BEAN!"
"OH, REAL CLASSY! FUCK YOU!"
"FUCK YOU!"
Bursting through the door, Charlie grinned at the two men standing a mere hair away from each other, glaring, a broken cup by their feet, the sinner towering over her father. "Guys! You have to stop fighting! You stay here until you get along!" she stated before leaving closing the door behind herself.
As soon as she left, both demons sat back down, Lucifer swinging his legs over the back of the couch as his head barely rested on the seat. "Works every time!" he said, opening his novel again, losing himself in the adventure.
A few hours later, Alastor had finished his newspaper and had picked up a true crime book. Silently, Lucifer had gone right side up again and placed his fantasy story on the small table next to the sofa. Like a small bug, he crawled towards the sinner and kneeled before him, wrapping his arms around his narrow waist, laying his chin on his thighs. Looking up at the deer with big round eyes, the devil said "I miss my wife."
Pausing mid-sentence, Alastor's eyes trailed downwards. "Time and place, Lucifer." Turning his head to the side, the fallen angel struggled with his words. "I don't mean it in- in the lonely husband way. I- I miss her because we've been together for ten thousand years. It was always granted, that she'd be there. For me, for Charlie... We were more co-rulers and co-parents before she left... Quite frankly," he started, ashamed. "I worry she was tired of parenting me and left."
Raising an eyebrow, the deer went back to reading.
Slowly, he threaded his fingers through the shorter man's blond hair, unhurried. A rumbling rose in the sinner's chest. A lullaby.
Alastor's lap, his hand, his voice, they were warm.
Lucifer was surrounded by warmth.
Tears springing from the corner of his eyes, the fallen angel let himself relax, his tense shoulders falling. A sigh of relief escaped him as he was lulled into peaceful sleep.