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The desert felt endless.
Heat shimmered across the sand, the horizon wavering in the distance like a mirage. The wind dragged slowly across the open land, carrying grains of sand that scraped against dry earth. Somewhere far away, sirens echoed faintly, growing louder with every passing second.
And beneath the blazing sky, two figures moved toward each other.
Buck’s vision blurred at the edges. Every step felt like dragging his body through water. His leg screamed with pain every time his boot hit the ground, forcing him into a slow, uneven limp. Dust clung to his clothes, his lips were cracked, and dried blood streaked along the side of his face.
But he kept walking.
Because across the desert, he could see Eddie.
At first it had just been a distant shape. A blur moving fast across the sand.
Now it was unmistakable.
Eddie Diaz was running.
Not jogging. Not pacing himself.
Running like his life depended on it.
The moment Eddie had spotted Buck in the distance, something inside him had snapped loose. His heart slammed violently in his chest as his feet pounded against the sand, kicking up dust behind him.
The world seemed to slow around them.
The wind softened.
The sirens faded.
I know it hurts
It's hard to breathe sometimes
These nights are long
You've lost the will to fight…
Buck blinked against the sunlight.
Eddie was getting closer.
Fast.
Buck tried to straighten, but his balance wavered. His knee buckled slightly and he had to catch himself before he collapsed. Still, he forced himself to keep moving.
Step.
Step.
Step.
Across the sand, Eddie’s breathing had turned ragged, but he didn’t slow. Every terrifying thought from the last few hours still clawed at the back of his mind—the wreckage, the silence on the radio, the empty miles of desert.
He had been so sure—
But Buck was there.
Alive.
Walking.
Is anybody out there?
Can you lead me to the light?
Is anybody out there?
Tell me it'll all be alright…
“Buck!” Eddie shouted, his voice breaking across the empty landscape.
Buck’s head lifted.
Even from a distance, Eddie could see the crooked, exhausted smile forming on his face.
“Took you long enough,” Buck rasped weakly.
His next step faltered.
Eddie closed the final distance in seconds.
Buck barely had time to register the blur of movement before strong arms caught him around the waist. The force of it nearly knocked them both off balance, sand shifting under their boots as Eddie pulled him upright.
For a second Buck just sagged against him.
His forehead dropped against Eddie’s shoulder as his body finally gave in to the exhaustion.
Eddie held on like letting go wasn’t an option.
His hands gripped Buck’s back, pulling him closer as his chest heaved with uneven breaths.
You are not alone
I've been here the whole time singing you a song
I will carry you...
“You idiot,” Eddie muttered hoarsely, his voice shaking despite the words.
Buck huffed out the ghost of a laugh.
“Missed you too.”
Eddie pulled back just enough to look at him, both hands coming up to frame Buck’s face. His eyes scanned Buck's body briefly—there's bit of blood probably from the small cut on the forehead, the swelling bruise along his cheek, the pale exhaustion written into every line of his expression.
“You walked out here?” Eddie demanded.
Buck gave a tiny shrug that made him wince.
“Didn’t really have a lot of options.”
For a moment Eddie just stared at him.
Then he pulled him back into a tight embrace.
Buck didn’t hesitate. His arm wrapped around Eddie’s shoulders, gripping the back of his shirt like he needed the contact to stay upright.
The wind moved softly around them.
I know you can't remember how to shine
heart's a bird without the wings to fly…
Eddie pressed his forehead against Buck’s temple, his voice barely more than a whisper.
“I thought I lost you.”
Buck’s grip tightened weakly.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “Me too.”
They stood like that for a moment longer, breathing each other in, the desert stretching endlessly around them.
Then Eddie shifted.
One arm slid under Buck’s knees while the other braced behind his back.
Buck blinked in surprise.
“Eddie—don’t—”
“Shut up,” Eddie muttered, already lifting him.
Buck let out a breathless laugh despite the pain.
“You’re so dramatic.”
Eddie adjusted his grip, holding Buck securely against his chest as he turned toward the distant line of rescue vehicles.
You are not alone
I've been here the whole time singing you a song
I will carry you…
The wind carried across the open desert as Eddie started walking.
Buck rested his head against Eddie’s shoulder, too tired to protest anymore.
Eddie tightened his hold just slightly.
-
Eddie kept walking.
The sand shifted under his boots with every step, but his grip on Buck never faltered. One arm was braced beneath Buck’s legs, the other wrapped firmly around his back, holding him close against his chest like letting go wasn’t even an option.
The rescue vehicles were still a distance away, small shapes on the horizon, their flashing lights barely visible through the desert heat.
Buck rested heavily against him, head tipped against Eddie’s shoulder. His breathing was uneven, warm against Eddie’s neck.
For a while, neither of them spoke.
The wind moved softly across the desert.
Then Buck shifted slightly.
“Aren’t I heavy?” he mumbled, voice hoarse.
Eddie snorted immediately.
“Buck.”
Buck squinted up at him, barely able to keep his eyes open.
“What?”
Eddie adjusted his grip slightly, like he was making a point of how easily he held him.
“You’re like… ninety percent limbs,” Eddie said. “Carrying you is basically like carrying a malfunctioning scarecrow.”
Buck let out a weak, breathy laugh that turned into a wince.
“Wow,” he murmured. “Rude.”
Eddie huffed out a quiet laugh too, the tension in his chest easing just a little.
“Don’t worry,” he added. “If you were actually heavy I’d have dropped you already.”
Buck chuckled softly, the sound thin but real.
“Good to know.”
They kept moving.
Step after step through the sand.
For a moment, the silence between them wasn’t heavy. It was familiar. Comfortable.
The kind of quiet that only existed between people who knew each other too well.
The wind carried softly across the desert again.
And then Buck spoke.
Casual.
Almost like it was an afterthought.
“Hey, Eddie?”
“Yeah?”
Buck shifted faintly in his arms.
“Is now a bad time to say I’m hurt pretty badly?”
Eddie stopped walking.
The words slammed into him like a physical blow.
His head snapped down immediately.
“What?”
For the first time since he’d grabbed Buck, Eddie really looked.
Not just the dust and the bruises.
Not just the exhaustion.
His eyes dropped lower.
And then his stomach dropped straight through the ground.
There was bow a lot blood.
Like lots of it.
Soaked deep into Buck’s shirt across his chest, darker and thicker than the dried streaks on his face. The fabric clung to him where the blood had spread, a deep crimson stain Eddie somehow hadn’t fully registered before.
“Buck—”
His voice cracked.
“Where did that come from?”
Buck blinked slowly, like the question took a second to process.
“Uh,” he murmured. “Doesn't matter now, don't ya think?”
Eddie felt cold all over.
How had he missed that?
How had he not seen it?
Buck’s breathing was shallow now, his head rolling slightly against Eddie’s shoulder as exhaustion dragged at him.
“Oh my god,” Eddie whispered.
Panic slammed into his chest all at once.
“Buck—hey—hey—stay with me, okay?”
Buck made a small noise that might’ve been agreement.
Eddie didn’t wait another second.
He started running.
The sand made it harder, his boots sinking slightly with every step, but he pushed forward anyway—faster than before, faster than his lungs wanted to allow.
Ahead of them, the rescue vehicles were clearer now.
Athena stood near the ambulance, scanning the desert.
“ATHENA!” Eddie shouted, his voice ripping across the open land.
Buck shifted weakly in his arms.
“Eddie…”
“Stay with me,” Eddie said quickly, breath coming in sharp bursts as he ran. “Stay awake, okay? You hear me?”
Buck’s head tilted slightly.
“I’m awake.”
“Good,” Eddie said immediately. “Good, good.”
His heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might explode.
The ambulance grew closer.
Athena turned sharply at the sound of Eddie’s voice, her eyes widening the moment she saw them.
“Oh my God—”
“BUCK’S HURT!” Eddie yelled. “HE’S BLEEDING!”
Buck’s head sagged again.
“Eddie…”
“Hey!” Eddie said sharply, tightening his hold as he ran the last stretch of distance. “No, no, no. Stay with me.”
Buck’s eyelids fluttered.
“I’m trying…”
Eddie’s voice broke.
“Buck, please,” he begged, running faster. “Just stay awake a little longer. We’re almost there.”
The ambulance doors flew open as the paramedics rushed forward.
Eddie barely slowed down as he reached them, his arms still wrapped tightly around Buck.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered desperately. “I’ve got you. Just stay with me, okay?”
-
The moment Eddie reached the ambulance, the paramedics rushed forward.
“Easy, easy—lay him down,” one of them said quickly.
Eddie didn’t want to let go.
For a second he just stood there, Buck still in his arms, like if he released him even for a moment something terrible would happen. His chest heaved from the run, tears already blurring his vision.
“Sir, we’ve got him,” the paramedic urged gently.
Reluctantly, Eddie stepped forward and helped lower Buck onto the stretcher.
The moment Buck was laid down, hands moved quickly—cutting fabric, checking his pulse, pressing gauze against the wound in his chest.
“BP dropping,” another paramedic muttered.
“Let’s get oxygen on him.”
A mask was placed over Buck’s face.
Eddie climbed into the ambulance right after them, ignoring the way someone tried to tell him to wait. The doors slammed shut behind him as the sirens roared to life.
The ambulance lurched forward.
Inside, everything felt too loud and too fast.
Machines beeped. Medics spoke in clipped, urgent tones. The road rattled beneath the tires.
But Eddie only saw Buck.
He sat beside the stretcher, gripping Buck’s hand tightly in both of his like it was the only thing anchoring him to the world.
Tears slid freely down his face.
“Hey,” he whispered shakily. “Hey, you’re okay. You’re okay, Buck.”
Buck’s eyelids fluttered.
The oxygen mask fogged faintly with every shallow breath.
Then Buck lifted a trembling hand and tried to pull the mask away.
“Buck—no,” Eddie said quickly, catching his wrist. “Leave it on.”
Buck shook his head weakly, trying again.
“Buck, you need that—”
Buck tugged harder.
The paramedic hesitated, glancing between them before allowing the mask to lift slightly.
Buck’s breaths came shallow and uneven.
“Eddie…” he rasped.
“I’m here,” Eddie said immediately, leaning closer. “I’m right here.”
Buck swallowed with difficulty, his eyes glassy but focused on Eddie.
“I… need… to say something.”
“You don’t have to talk right now,” Eddie said quickly, panic rising again. “Just breathe, okay? Save your energy.”
Buck shook his head faintly.
“No… listen…”
His fingers tightened weakly around Eddie’s hand.
Eddie leaned closer, his forehead almost touching Buck’s.
“Okay,” he whispered, voice breaking. “I’m listening.”
Buck’s chest rose and fell unevenly.
“I think… I’ve been in love with you… for a long time.”
The words were quiet.
Fragile.
But they hit Eddie like a lightning strike.
Buck’s eyes searched his face anxiously, like he was afraid of what he might see there.
“I know this… probably isn’t the best timing,” Buck murmured weakly, breath hitching. “But… I didn’t want to… not say it.”
Eddie’s face crumpled.
A broken sound escaped him as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks.
“Buck…”
Buck’s lips twitched faintly.
“Yeah?”
Eddie squeezed his hand tighter, like he was trying to pour everything he felt into the contact.
“I love you too.”
Buck blinked slowly, like he wasn’t sure he heard that right.
Eddie shook his head quickly, tears falling faster.
“I do,” he said desperately. “I love you. I’ve loved you for a while now.”
Buck’s eyes softened.
A faint smile tried to form on his lips.
“I was actually going to tell you,” Eddie continued, his voice trembling. “On the drive back to LA. I had this whole speech planned and everything.”
Buck let out the smallest, breathless huff of a laugh.
“Guess… I beat you to it.”
Eddie laughed weakly through the tears.
“Yeah,” he whispered.
Buck’s eyes were starting to drift again.
His breathing grew heavier.
“Hey,” Eddie said quickly, tightening his hold on Buck’s hand. “Hey, stay with me, okay? Stay with me.”
Buck looked so tired.
So unbelievably tired.
But he tried to smile again.
“You’ll be okay,” Eddie said quickly, his voice cracking as he leaned closer. “Do you hear me? You’re not allowed to give up now.”
Buck blinked slowly.
Eddie lifted Buck’s hand gently and pressed a trembling kiss against his knuckles.
“Please,” he whispered against his skin.
Buck’s eyes stayed on him.
“I’m right here,” Eddie continued, squeezing his hand. “You’re not alone. I’ve got you.”
Buck’s faint smile lingered.
And Eddie held his hand like letting go simply wasn’t an option.
-
The ambulance doors burst open the moment they arrived at the hospital.
Doctors and nurses were already waiting.
“On three,” one of the paramedics said.
Eddie barely had time to stand before they were wheeling Buck away, the stretcher disappearing down the bright hospital corridor.
“BP is crashing!”
“Get trauma ready!”
“Call the surgical team!”
The voices overlapped as the team rushed Buck through the double doors.
Eddie followed for a few steps before someone gently stopped him.
“Sir, you can’t go past this point.”
The trauma doors swung shut.
And just like that, Buck was gone from sight.
Eddie stood there frozen, his chest rising and falling unevenly as the reality slowly caught up to him.
Athena placed a steady hand on his shoulder.
“Come on,” she said softly.
They walked toward the waiting area together.
Hen was already there.
Chimney stood beside her, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, pacing slightly like he couldn’t stay still. Maddie sat in one of the chairs, twisting her hands together anxiously, her eyes darting toward the hallway every few seconds.
The moment they saw Eddie and Athena, they stood up.
“Where is he?” Maddie asked immediately, her voice tight with fear.
“They took him into trauma,” Eddie said, his voice hoarse.
Hen stepped closer.
“How bad is it?”
Eddie swallowed.
For a moment he couldn’t speak.
Then he forced the words out.
“It’s… not good.”
The moment those words left his mouth, Maddie’s face crumpled.
She covered her mouth as tears immediately filled her eyes.
“No,” she whispered shakily. “No, Buck’s strong. He’s going to be okay.”
Chimney placed a hand on her shoulder, though his own expression was strained.
Hen looked at Eddie carefully.
“What happened?”
Eddie dragged a shaky hand down his face.
“He… he walked out of the desert,” he said quietly. “I found him and he was standing and talking and—”
His voice cracked.
“And then I saw the blood.”
Hen’s eyes widened slightly.
“A chest wound,” Eddie continued weakly. “I didn’t see it right away. I should’ve—”
“Eddie,” Hen said firmly.
He stopped speaking.
“It’s not your fault.”
But the guilt was already clawing its way into his chest.
The waiting room fell into a heavy silence.
Minutes passed.
Then more minutes.
Each second stretched longer than the last.
Maddie cried quietly while Chimney stayed beside her, rubbing her back in slow circles. Hen stood with her arms folded, staring at the trauma doors like she could will them to open.
Eddie sat forward in his chair, elbows on his knees, his hands clasped together so tightly his knuckles had turned white.
He could still feel Buck’s hand in his.
Still hear his voice.
I’ve been in love with you for a long time.
Eddie squeezed his eyes shut.
The trauma doors finally opened.
A doctor stepped out.
Immediately, everyone stood.
Eddie’s heart began pounding violently.
The doctor looked tired.
Too tired.
“I’m looking for the family of Evan Buckley.”
Maddie stepped forward first, her voice trembling.
“I’m his sister.”
The doctor nodded slowly.
“I’m very sorry,” he began.
The words that followed seemed to come from far away.
“We did everything we could. His injuries were extremely severe. The blood loss—”
Eddie’s ears started ringing.
A sharp, high-pitched sound filled his head.
“He went into cardiac arrest during surgery—”
The room felt like it tilted.
“We were unable to revive him.”
For a moment, no one moved.
No one breathed.
Then Maddie let out a broken sob.
“No—”
Chimney caught her immediately as her knees buckled.
Hen covered her mouth, tears filling her eyes.
But Eddie…
Eddie couldn’t hear anything anymore.
The doctor kept speaking.
Maddie was crying.
Chimney was saying something.
But all Eddie could hear was that ringing in his ears.
Like the world had gone silent.
His mind kept replaying one moment.
Buck smiling weakly in the ambulance.
’ve been in love with you for a long time.
Eddie’s chest felt hollow.
Like someone had carved something out of him and left nothing behind.
He stared at the floor, unmoving.
Because the last thing he had told Buck was that he loved him.
And Buck had smiled.
And now—
Now Buck was gone.
-
The drive home felt unreal.
Eddie didn’t remember leaving the hospital.
He didn’t remember how he got into the truck, or how his hands found the steering wheel, or how the city lights blurred past the windows while he drove through the quiet streets of Los Angeles.
Everything felt distant.
Muted.
Like the world was happening somewhere far away from him.
Buck was gone.
The thought didn’t feel real. His brain kept rejecting it, like if he just kept driving long enough the hospital would call and say they’d made a mistake.
But the phone never rang.
Eventually Eddie pulled into the driveway.
The house looked the same as it always did.
Warm light glowed from inside.
For a moment he just sat there in the truck, gripping the steering wheel.
Then he forced himself to move.
Christopher was sitting on the couch when Eddie stepped inside, homework spread across the coffee table. The TV played quietly in the background.
Chris looked up immediately.
“Dad?” he said. “You’re late.”
Eddie stopped in the middle of the living room.
God.
How was he supposed to do this?
Chris studied his face more closely.
And the smile slowly faded.
“Where’s Buck? Did you guys finally find him?” Chris asked.
Eddie’s chest tightened painfully.
He took a step forward.
“Hey, buddy, yeah we did” he said softly.
Christopher’s brows furrowed sensing that something is wrong.
“Did something happen?”
Eddie sat down beside him on the couch. His hands trembled as he rested them on his knees.
He couldn’t look at Chris right away.
He tried to speak.
Nothing came out.
“Dad?” Chris said again, his voice smaller now.
Eddie swallowed hard.
“Something happened to Buck,” he said quietly.
Chris went still.
Eddie finally looked at him.
Buck had always said Christopher’s eyes were the easiest place to see hope.
Right now, they were full of it.
Eddie’s voice broke.
“Buck got hurt really badly.”
Chris shook his head immediately.
“What?” he said quickly. “But he's okay now right?”
Eddie felt something crack inside his chest.
“They tried to save him,” Eddie whispered.
Christopher stared at him.
And slowly, the meaning sank in.
“No,” Chris said again, louder this time. “No, that’s not—no.”
Tears filled his eyes instantly.
“That’s not true,” he insisted. “Buck promised he’d come home.”
Eddie pulled him into his arms.
Christopher clung to him tightly as the first sob broke out of him.
“No!” Chris cried into his shoulder. “He can’t—he can’t be gone!”
Eddie held him as tightly as he could, his own tears falling silently.
“I know,” Eddie whispered shakily. “I know.”
Christopher cried harder.
“He said we were going to the zoo again,” Chris sobbed. “He said he’d teach me how to drive someday—he promised—”
“I know,” Eddie repeated helplessly.
Chris’s fingers gripped the back of his shirt like he was afraid Eddie might disappear too.
Eventually the sobs quieted into exhausted sniffles.
Eddie stayed with him until Chris fell asleep on the couch, completely drained.
Then Eddie gently carried him to his room and tucked him into bed.
Christopher’s face was still tear-streaked.
Eddie lingered in the doorway for a long moment.
Then he quietly closed the door.
The house felt painfully empty.
Eddie walked slowly down the hallway to his own room.
He pushed the door open.
And immediately saw it.
The picture frame sitting on his dresser.
It was the only decoration in the room.
A photo from years ago.
Buck stood in the middle, grinning widely, one arm wrapped around Christopher’s shoulders. Eddie stood on the other side of Chris, his hand resting on the back of the wheelchair.
They were at the zoo.
Christopher had been about eight.
All three of them looked happy.
Like the world was simple back then.
Eddie stared at it.
And suddenly the tears came back.
He picked up the frame with shaking hands and sat down on the edge of the bed.
For a long moment he just stared at Buck’s face in the photo.
That stupid, bright smile.
Like nothing could ever take him down.
Eddie let out a broken laugh through his tears.
“I can’t believe you’re gone,” he whispered hoarsely.
His thumb brushed lightly over Buck’s face in the picture.
“I want to be angry with you.”
His voice cracked.
“And yeah… I think I actually am.”
Another tear slipped down his cheek.
“I’m angry you left,” he admitted quietly.
He shook his head, staring at the photo like Buck might somehow answer him.
“But I also love you,” Eddie whispered.
The words trembled out of him.
“And I respect you.”
His chest rose sharply as he struggled to breathe through the grief.
“At least… at least I know you’ll finally see Bobby again.”
That thought nearly broke him.
“But Buck… everyone here misses you already.”
His voice grew rough.
“Another family is lost.”
The tears came harder now.
“The 118 is grieving again.”
Eddie squeezed his eyes shut for a second before looking back at the photo.
“And I don’t know what happens now,” he admitted.
His voice was barely more than a whisper.
“I’m not ready to let you go.”
His fingers tightened around the frame.
“I needed more time with you.”
A sob escaped him.
“I should’ve just buried all my fears and told you how I felt sooner.”
His shoulders shook.
“But now… it took you dying for me to finally say it.”
He laughed bitterly through the tears.
“Great timing, Eddie.”
His gaze locked on Buck’s smiling face.
“And now we can’t continue.”
Silence filled the room.
Eddie swallowed painfully.
“So what do I do?” he whispered.
His voice broke completely.
“What do I do now?”
He stared at the picture for a long time before the final words slipped out.
“Chris lost another parent too.”
The room fell silent except for the quiet sound of Eddie crying.
And the photograph stayed the same.
Buck’s smile frozen forever in a moment that would never come back.
If you’re reading this… then things didn’t go the way we always hoped they would.
I guess that’s the strange thing about this job. We run toward danger every day knowing that someday we might not make it back. I always tried not to think about it too much, but Bobby used to say that loving people means preparing for the hard things too. So if this letter exists, it’s because I wanted to make sure the people I love most heard these words from me.
Eddie… I hope I was brave enough to tell you before this happened.
I hope I looked you in the eye and said it out loud instead of hiding behind jokes or timing that never seemed right. But if somehow I didn’t, then I need you to know this now: I love you. I have for longer than I probably realized. Somewhere between late-night calls, terrible takeout dinners, helping Christopher with homework, and every moment where you stood beside me like I was family… it just happened. And honestly, loving you has been one of the best things in my life.
You gave me something I didn’t even know I was missing. A home that wasn’t just a place, but people.
Take care of yourself, okay? And don’t shut people out when things get hard. I know that’s your instinct sometimes, but you’re not meant to carry the world alone. Let the others help you the way you’ve always helped them.
And please, keep talking to Christopher. Really talking. He deserves honesty, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
Chris—
Hey, buddy.
If you’re reading this, then I’m really sorry I can’t say all of this to you in person. You have no idea how proud I am of you. Getting to watch you grow up has been one of the greatest privileges of my life. From zoo trips to movie nights to you beating me at video games way more often than you should have… those are some of my favorite memories.
I need you to remember something really important: Life can be unfair sometimes, but that doesn’t mean the love we share disappears.
I love you so much, Christopher. Always have. Always will.
Take care of your dad for me, okay? He pretends he’s tough, but you and I both know he’s secretly a huge softie. Make sure he laughs sometimes. And keep doing the things you love, even when things feel hard. Especially then.
Both of you… please don’t stay sad forever.
Grieve, sure. That’s part of loving someone. But don’t let the sadness stop you from living. Go back to the zoo. Watch bad movies. Eat too much takeout. Keep making memories together.
The world is still full of good things, and you both deserve to keep finding them.
Be careful out there. Watch each other’s backs. And remember that family isn’t just about blood—it’s about the people who choose each other every single day.
You two were my family.
And if there’s any kind of afterlife where people can watch over the ones they love, I promise you I’ll be there cheering you on every step of the way.
Thank you for letting me be part of your lives.
For loving me.
For making me feel like I belonged.
Take care of each other.
Always.
— Buck