Chapter Text
Pae remembers the first time he saw Tong clearly. It was freshy night where the crowd swayed to the music as Duang’s heart began to sway due to the source of said music. Pae and Jamie lingered a safe distance from Tong and Kim, strategically eavesdropping on their conversations. Pae had only paid attention to their conversations to gather new information on Qin, but he couldn’t help but find himself staring at Tong. He diligently observed as Tong and Kim poked jokes about how Qin had to be dragged to the event, with Tong’s laugh standing out through the boisterous applause from the crowd and the incessant cheering from Duang.
It was that laugh that made Pae feel something he had never felt before, his heart skipping a beat.
That night, he began catfishing Tong under the guise of helping Duang confess, telling himself it was only to be a good friend. Yet beneath all the excuses, Pae's real reason was much more complicated. He had always been terrified of putting his own feelings out there, afraid of being laughed at or rejected for wanting something he could barely admit to himself. Watching Tong from a distance was safe, building the fake persona of Cherry allowed him to reach out without risking anything real. He knew it was cowardly but the fear of facing Tong as himself felt insurmountable. Guilt gnawed at him as he realized he had crossed a line he couldn't take back just to be closer to someone he was too scared to approach honestly. He is left to face the consequences of his curiosity, unsure whether his longing or shame runs deeper.
Tong: cherry?
Tong: where’d you go
Tong: i really wanted to see you
Tong: please dont ignore me like this
Pae stares as the messages come in, reading every single one through his notification bar. His knuckles turn white as he clenches his phone, regretfully recalling the way Tong patiently waited for his beloved nong Cherry, completely unaware that the sweet girl he took an interest in is a fabricated lie.
Tong: i hope ur okay, sorry if i did anything to put you off
He hesitates for a second before opening up the chat. It was supposed to end today. His plan worked and Duang got to confess his feelings, but seeing Tong get hurt like this made his heart ache. He tells himself this is the least he could do for Tong after taking advantage of his sincerity. Yes, that's all it is, a sense of responsibility towards the guy he catfished for his own selfish reasons.
Cherry: im sorry
Tong: nong cherry ! its okay you dont have to be sorry
Tong: are u okay tho?
Cherry: you didnt do anything wrong
Cherry: honestly im very shy and i get intimidated easily, i thought id be able to meet you
Cherry: but when i saw you i got too nervous and i couldnt do it
Cherry: im sorry i dont know why im like this
Part of it is true; he really was intimidated by Tong, it's the whole reason he resorted to catfishing instead of just hitting on him like a normal person, and he really doesn’t know why he is like this.
He doesn’t know why he watches stupid fortune-reading videos looking for any signs that he and Tong will work out. Why he can’t just be like Duang and Jamie, who are open about who they pursue. Why he hides behind Cherry like a coward.
His thoughts countinued to spiral when Tong finally sent in his reply,
Tong: ur so cute
Tong: i understand, thank you for explaining
Tong: dont feel too bad na? :)
Fuck, he thought with his ears burning bright red, why is Tong so sweet?
Many days have passed since Tong was stood up by “Cherry”. He seems to have moved on from it fairly quickly, even with Kim’s constant reminders of it. Pae tries making up for it in his own way, waking up early whenever Tong has morning classes to send him a good morning text, sneaking in Tong’s favourite snacks into Qin’s snack gifts, making sure Duang gets the right order for Tong during his deliveries to Qin, he has even gone as far as to encourage Duang’s embarrassingly stupid plans to bother Qin just so he has the chance to be around Tong more.
It doesn’t make sense for him to be doing any of this, in hindsight Tong will never know any of these deliberate little acts come from Pae but seeing the smile bloom on his face as he grabs his favourite snack, that’s coincidentally placed at the top of Qin’s snack bag, makes it all worthwhile. The goal is to see Tong happy, it doesn’t matter if Pae will never get to hear him say thank you in that sly tone of his.
Pae stares at his chat with Tong, hoping desperately to think of a conversation starter as Duang chews his ear off about Qin, as usual. Regardless of his consistent efforts, he has made no progress so far.
“I just don’t know what to do he won’t accept anything I try to give him, Pae are you listening?”
“Huh? yes I was,”
“What did I say then?”
“That you love Qin and you don’t know how to win his heart”
“YES!!!! my best friend, you actually listened to me”
“No you loser, he just guessed because that’s all you’ve been talking about for the past few days”, Jamie says as he settles on the table with Duang and Pae.
“Mind your own business”, Duang sighs.
“Ai Duang, why don’t we invite them for lunch? his friends can convince him to come if we invite them too”, Pae blurts out after careful consideration.
Jamie claps his hands and exclaims, “GENIUS, you have some sense after all”.
Pae reaches to hit him in response to the insult when Duang grabs them both by the wrists yelling, “LETS GO EAT!”
They spot Qin, Tong and Kim walking out of their practice room, the timing was perfect. Duang rushes towards them with Pae and Jamie hand in hand, forgetting to rehearse what exactly he will say once he faces them. They almost bump into each other once they arrive before Qin and his friends, Pae stumbling in front of Tong dangerously. The smell of Tong’s cologne embraces him as he stabilises himself, his heartbeat hammering in his ears as he takes in the fresh citrus scent. Tong looks into Pae’s eyes, his expression shifting into a mix of confusion and amusement as Pae’s entire world halts in that instant.
He feels his palms go clammy around his phone as he recalls his last messages with Tong, they had wished each other a good morning followed by a bunch of heart stickers. It shouldn't be that big of a deal but it left Pae enthusiastically rolling around on his bed at 8 in the morning.
Now, they stand face to face, and Pae feels nowhere near as brave as he did when he flirted through text. Duang and Jamie clumsily stumble over their words, failing miserably to casually invite them. Their sorry attempt at nonchalance breaks Pae out of his trance, his second-hand embarrassment urges him into action.
“Would you guys want to have lunch with us?” he utters, his eyes lingering on Tong.
“No, I need to work on my assignment”, Qin declares, already preparing to leave.
“C’mon Qin, let's just go” Tong reaches for Qin's arm, gently reciprocating Pae’s gaze.
“Right, let’s go we were going to eat anyway”, Kim chimes in.
Qin exhales deeply, “Fine.”
Duang squeals in celebration, but Tong’s eyes never leave Pae. He beams from ear to ear before throwing up a thumbs up, leaving Pae’s heart with a fluttering sensation and his brain with the knowledge he’s too far gone to back out now.